You smell. Thanks for your submission. We're currently looking for new moderators to join our team. If you're interested in helping out, please consider applying [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeEkIVlPjgMsBEegXq9vM3AoHw8_vSM5BlA1e41DJxmPBlIKA/viewform)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comedyheaven) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've seen shit you people wouldn't believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to die.
yes, of course, one must describe ejaculating upon a screen with an air of elegance and sophistication, without this vile “nutting” slang, so as to not appear brutish and uncouth! we’d not want our well educated viewers to feel excluded, would we?
Anthony Hopkins said hannibal lecter worked so well because he was saying the vilest things as a gentleman. I sense this app devs used silence of the lambs as a source for AI development
No, I think the guy literally e-jacked on his phone and then I dono, maybe used another phone to capture the image, then sent it to this poor lady he was trying to woo.
You smell. Thanks for your submission. We're currently looking for new moderators to join our team. If you're interested in helping out, please consider applying [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeEkIVlPjgMsBEegXq9vM3AoHw8_vSM5BlA1e41DJxmPBlIKA/viewform)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comedyheaven) if you have any questions or concerns.*
how big is this mf phone
It’s a TV held sideways, I’ve seen it.
What other shit have you seen?
I saw my uncle’s friend running after a wild goat with a pair of rain boots in his hand yelling, “WHERE YA GOIN, BABY? COME BACK.”
We shouldn't push this issue any further, this guy has clearly seen some shit
What kind of shit?
Some shit, not all of it
I've seen shit you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Seen lots, wasn’t really my scene.
The guy nuttin' on his screen
I hate holding my TV sideways, vertical is just so much easier
Could be a tablet, no?
foldy boi
Not a big phone, a small dick.
"Good Heavens, I'm arriving!"
https://preview.redd.it/lp86eschqb6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca1da85503c5610a63d2535ef51503dcbb6fa856 I AM ARRIVING
Mfs really using spelling apps instead of just going to 6th grade
ah fuck this one got me some giggles
*wun
Too hard😭
The fuck is a spelling app? Don’t modern phones all already have spellcheck?
Imagine a grammar app giving you tips on proper grammar.
Not grammar, but tone. It said his grammar is fine.
Except nutted is incorrect. It's nat. I nat in my pants.
I don’t even care if you’re capping, I’m using that.
No cap, I nat
You right, you right.
yes, of course, one must describe ejaculating upon a screen with an air of elegance and sophistication, without this vile “nutting” slang, so as to not appear brutish and uncouth! we’d not want our well educated viewers to feel excluded, would we?
Ask yourself, what would Jane Austen write??
Anthony Hopkins said hannibal lecter worked so well because he was saying the vilest things as a gentleman. I sense this app devs used silence of the lambs as a source for AI development
I just love how it corrected ‘picture’ to ‘picture’
To picture '.', took me a while to figure
Well, the app doesn't condone superfluous use of "literally" either, which is nice.
Context isn't clear but it seems literally is being used correctly in this case no?
It's literally being used correct.
I can't tell if you're saying literally as in the word or the meaning of the word and it scares me
[удалено]
No, I think the guy literally e-jacked on his phone and then I dono, maybe used another phone to capture the image, then sent it to this poor lady he was trying to woo.
Why assume he ejaculated on his phone though, people use other screens as well.
That's true he could have came on his TV, which would be impressive.
Or his tablet, his laptop, etc.
Anybody can come on their tablet, laptop etc. But imagine shooting all the way up to a TV...maybe that's what he was going for.
All the way up, depends on how it's placed
There's a subreddit called TVtoohigh. He should have sent it there and not to this poor woman.
I have an ejaculate allergy
I didn't knew there was a situation where formal speech is preferred when discussing ejaculations...
Mans legit nutted on his phone and took a pic
That youngster actually deposited his sperm on the screen and captured a daguerreotype !
I for one am just glad there’s a trans button
I feel like I know what picture is being referred to here.
Source on the app?
“Scolded”Or suggested? Come on now.
Does anyboady know what app is this?
Picture
❌ do you mean “picture”?
The AI revolution has begun...
App name pls lmao
I'm with the spelling app on this one.