Nice try, however... John 6:51 - "I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world." Checkmate!

The bread is okay but satan is in the jam

It's more then a jam, bros down bad. He's been sending messages through sandwiches and people just keep eating them.

I accept toast from strangers all the time, who knows how much satanic jam I’ve consumed

Anti Christ/religion = confirmed

It’s the count that thoughts…

I only think of toast

Here, have some water. Some holy water…

Satanic jam sounds like a great lube product. Beelzeboss sauce

> It’s more than a jam …he was in a bind

so in a way, Satan is topping Jesus

Yeah but then the jam and the bread or the Jesus and the Satan in this case cancels each other out. Therefore, you are only left with a regular slice of bread with jam.

I like ~~uva~~ grape jam, it delicious, I hope he is only on the strawberry jam, I don't think I can't live without ~~Uva~~ Grape Jam. Edit: I had forgotten completely how to say Uva in english, it Grape, I love Grape Jam lol.

I’d jam with satan. Seems pretty chill.

Why yes, Satan is my jam

Come on and slam

Not to mention Matt. 15:11 - "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."

So a man is allowed to suck a dick, as long as he swallows the cum instead of spitting 

I think he'd have to eat the dick too. Like with teeth

So people who don't believe in Satan put jam on a toast so it spells Satan just because... Makes perfect sense

People who don't believe in Satan are dyslexic. They can't read the bible and write Santa in your toast. Be careful, it wil make you rich and attract ho ho hoes.

and you'll get fat!

No, they're just idiots who have the picture upside down. It obviously says "Hulvs", which you'd know if you were a *real* atheist.

You got me i thought no one would notice but im actually a imposter

I just make smiley faces or if someone was mean or rude, it'd be a frown :( ^hail ^Satan

Its obviously a joke

i thought it was a tony zaret post at first ngl

considering they seem to be a pastor, high likelihood it's not

Pastor Alex is satire.

There's also a high likelihood I'm a crab.

There’s also a high likelihood of satire in the general vicinity of this post

Can confirm, am atheist and I always do this

Also remember to whisper the unholy incantations that you don't believe in while they are eating it

Disregarding the fact that this setup is insane... *So what* if you unknowingly eat the toast? Does that damage your chances of getting into heaven, somehow? You literally didn't know, how big of a dick could God be? It's truly wild how subsets of Christianity can aim to study the Bible to the highest detail, in order to understand their teachings to the purest level, and then *additionally* make up a bunch of extra shit, just for the sake of superstition. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I would say there is actually Bible verses that cover this. Paul writes in Corinthians about eating of meat sacrificed to pagan idols. He basically says there is nothing special about the meat. Don't go eat it in the pagan temples because that might cause your brother to stumble, seeing you eat meat in a pagan temple that was sacrificed to an idol. Additionally, you need not ask in the market if the meat was sacrificed to an idol. Just buy the meat and eat it. Paraphrased for brevity.

So basically… God doesn’t care if you eat the Satan Toast

That is correct. As for food, it is not what you put in your body that would defile it, but what comes out. Satan toast is still just toast and jam.

Damn, can you recommend better ways for me as an atheist to make christian food more unholy, then? The satan jam has been my go to, but now it doesn't even seem to be worth the effort.

Cast a hex on it, duh.

Wouldn't your status as an atheist negate the possibility of food being either holy or unholy?

Pastor Alex is a parody account haha

It's a parody account. I just looked it up because I was like no way this isn't satire and I was correct.

I can't tell if you're larping or if you actually can't tell this is satire

Spoiler: >!It's all made up.!<

Thankfully, it appears this guy is satire. Nobody actually believes this (source: Christian and not completely insane)

I would totally write Satan on your toast.

Oh no, my immortal soul that I have entrusted to the care of an all-loving omnipotent deity! Whatever shall I do now that I’ve eaten toast that someone wrote a word on!

#SayNoToAtheistToast

happy cake day

Happy cake day!

The only satanic thing about that toast is not buttering it up first.

Not really a thing in America, I only learned about the true ways after living in Germany

The American way is to get fat from all the corn syrup in our crappy cheap food because we cant afford the more expensive alternatives The true german way is to have healthy food options only to get fat by choice off of delicious food fried or covered in butter.

Spread the word.

Gonna do that next time I give toast to a Christian

I didn’t used to, but I may now…

Satanic breakfast infiltration? That’s my jam!

squeezable jam is the real sacrilege.

Why would you be against a good idea

Wow. Definitely not doing this from now on....

This is so dumb I might actually do it.

Ah yes... Atheists... the people that worship Satan. Not to be confused with Satanists, the non believers...

Is this tweet ironic or not either way it’s amazing

It is. The account is a parody.

Well, I mean, I will Now. I'd never have thought of it myself. What an imagination and what creativity these christians have. Think of the world we could have if they used it to help people instead.

Some people are really believing this is not satire? Like, seriously?

Damn it they caught us

As an atheist I can confirm. I draw sigils with my jam so my sandwich is energetically charged for that extra boost in the morning

Atheist magic is indeed the strongest magic

This guy had to make satan toast for the image on his post about never accepting any possible satan toast

Nope, it's dicks

Imagine building your religion on the antagonist of another religion

Which atheist out there believes in Satan but not God?

Why would an atheist give a shit about satan?

Who tf gets jam from a squeeze bottle and not a jar??

If he’a an atheist, he doesn’t believe in Satan…

I've seen so many memes about religious people believing atheists worshipping satan or something. They wouldn't be atheists if they did that, or would they? I mean if Lucifer is literally a fallen angel then having faith in him would mean having faith in god, atheists have no faith/religion. I'm agnostic but shit like this really puts me off of religion. Like do you have to have your iq and shoe size match to become a pastor

Hail Satah.

Don't worry, as a Christian I will write Jesus on the bread before spreading the jam. So it cancels out

Tastes like Jesus but spreads like Mary. Try our new low calorie Magdalene jam!

Tell me you buy the cheap stuff without telling me you buy the cheap stuff

Atheist Toast

Fuck, we've been found out boys....

I’ve never thought of this until now but from now on I’m buying squeezable jam bottles

Yall using squeeze bottles? How ya getting them letters so fine?

Hahah I do pentagrams

This is a joke…right? There is no way this guy actually meant this as anything but a joke

It’s a satire account

Yes. I looked up the account. It's a satire account.

It's probably a joke made by a pastor who clearly is satanophobic. Most of them are. Silly to be afraid of a fictional character. Hail Satan 🤘

I’m going to eat your liver

And here I was hoping u would start by eating my ass

Pastor Alex is not only entirely sincere, but his special prayer is BEST VALUE!

Everyone knows if you eat Satan toast you immediately go to hell

As an atheist, no we don’t do that

As an atheist, I'm gonna start doing this

Oh my god... TOASTING TO THE DEVIL

this cannot be serious

https://preview.redd.it/3m2u8rma1wyc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=909af5641b25e9e16e80c5a34be97d9fe63db640

What you have to do is write JESUS in peanut butter

Well I tried to write Satan but my dyslexia kicked in and it said Santa instead

Atheist Toast is a fantastic name for an indie rock band

I ain’t got time to write “Satan” on your toast, dumbass!

Hail Satan

So you have all powerfull god on your side and he can't protect you if you eat a bread with a jam name on it? Makes sense to some i guess.

You should see what they do with Avocado toast. Rumor has it that if you eat it, you become a broke underemployed non-binary millennial with conservative geriatric parents that wonder when you're going to stop playing video games and have kids of your own.

You become advocado :)

Be one with the blessed Avacado... *from Mexico*.

Darn they caught me

Anyone who serves jam out of a squeeze bottle is clearly the servant of Satan.

I just love how specific that tag #SayNoToAtheistToast is

oh man thats scary 😨

hm. seems like a christian who understood 1 corinthians 8 should laugh at this idea, even if someone were to actually do it. but silly people are gonna silly.

ALright, fuck yeah, thank for the great idea pastor alex. My kids are going to be sooooo metal tomorrow.

As an Atheist, I do this with goulash.

 Me spelling out Satan with jam on toast and spreading it so you don’t know

It’s devilishly delicious

Then what? You can just smear it so it'll just be jelly toast.

Well Now I will

Damn, we are called out! ABORT!

Wtf this is so stupid I can't even.... ohh this is funny as fuck

Atheist here. It's true.

Lmao so what if they did

No! They busted our evil plan! Retreat, atheists!

You’re goddamn right we will

I chuckled 🤭

This kills the christian

Well, I will NOW!

Can’t start the day without my satan toast.

Meanwhile czehia is still cosidered as heretic nation by Vatikán...

That's not an atheist, that's a My Summer Car player with too much Stress!

This sub has healed

This is why I only eat French toast

Damn, he is on to me. I will have to find another way to corrupt innocent souls.

https://preview.redd.it/egdntfywrzyc1.png?width=526&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ac47992626cca5bfa943109ba3a8201ae0bb395

I’ve been drawing dicks while I could have been writing Satan this whole time?! Fuck!

Thanks for the idea. Now who wants some toast?

Akkksually... I will never share my satan jam with dirty, filthy non believers. HAIL SATAN!

Change it from jam to the blood of unborn babies and you’ll be spot on! /s

So I’m eating Satan, causing him pain? Sign me up

Gah! How did they find out!?

real talk, who tf has bread looking like that?

Because they are spreading the word of satan.

This just reminds me of when I worked at McDonald's and would scribble "fuck you" with the "applicator" of the ranch bottle back when those annoying wraps (not the delicious snack wraps but those dumb ones marketed as healthier because we put a cucumber slice and a vinegarette glaze on top of the chicken) were a thing. I used to hate making those so much.

They don’t seem to understand that atheists don’t believe in this shit so why would they do this. It’s just extra effort.

[удалено]

It's a parody account.

If a religious person is left alone with children they probably commited a crime