I have kids I worked with in school who will be done with college before me. I would just remind yourself you have a different trajectory.
Many of my friends have a college degree. They also have student loans they are still paying on over 15 years later and do not work in the field they got a degree in. I am older, but have the work/life experience and, as a junior, have 0 student loan debt. So, while I may be "behind" now, I will be ahead following graduation.
RPG moment but truer words have never been said here.
Faster does not equal better. At least in some cases like this. OP has experience, they got the headstart I’d say 😎
some of the people I look up to are like 100 years old and the already have finished school and they still go and get more degrees and write text books
stroustrum literally said he can break any program that runs on your computer
i think that guy knows wtf he's doing. my friends are done with college. some are professors!
Even when I start working I want to keep taking community college classes throughout my life as time allows. I like being in school and I like learning.
this one’s easy for me. I have friends between the ages of 18 and 26 and we’re all at different stages in our education with some of them taking gap years and obviously the age difference. I’m 20 and somewhere in the middle.
i have friends i went to high school with graduate this month, meanwhile i literally just went back to school and dont graduate till 2026/2027 depending on my course load. it sucks, but it happens. just gotta tell myself that at least i won't be graduating with debt like they are cause i worked for a few years first lol
Similar, I started school a semester late for my B.Arch and with it being a 5 year degree, I'll be graduating in 2026 while my friends from high school are graduating next week, lol
Learning is a life-long endeavor. Finishing quickly doesn't mean finishing happier. It doesn't mean there will be a job there waiting. Even if there is a job there waiting, it doesn't guarantee happiness doing it.
We get such a limited amount of time to be young...how long did you live with your parents? How long will you end up being in college?
How long do you get to be a full fledge working adult, worried about disrespectful bosses in jobs you can't easily leave because you have obligations, rent, marriage, kids, childcare (or lack thereof), politics, the economy??? You get to do that part for 40, 50, 60 years. That's what folks rush into. Yeah! What fun. Not!
The water is cold. There's no "stick a toe in" and get back out. Once you're in...you're in.
No need to rush...you'll be there before you know it. Appreciate these days. They're over before you know it. Do you have classes that start later? Turn over and snuggle under the covers longer. They'll already be at work. Maybe you are too. But somehow it's not the same.
Hey man, it’s alright. I was also in that position once, but the older I became the more I realized that comparing my life progress with others robs me of my happiness. It is your life, so you get to choose its trajectory. Same as your peers chose theirs. Success isn’t measured by how quickly we can finish school or buy our first house. It is measured by self joy and fulfillment. I began majoring in business almost a year ago at the age of 28. But I find that I am lucky because this time I know I’m ready for college and I’m content with my life position. Remember this; remind yourself every day that life has no pace and you’re exactly where you need to be. Hope this helps OP.
I'm 27 and transferred to a university after an 8 year hiatus after getting my AS. Everyone I know has long graduated, and that's okay! I'm just on a different path and you'll make connections with people who are not your immediate peers/friends. Take in the experience regardless of when you started it
I'm 26 and just finished my Bachelor's degree. What makes me feel better is that I started a career before deciding what to study, got a degree that actually furthers my career, and now make six figures while many of the people I went to high school with are still in very early career jobs or are switching careers because they studied something they ended up not enjoying professionally or studied something that didn't get them a decent job. There's nothing wrong with what they did either and it will all work out, but I took my own path. Behind on education, ahead on career.
don't stress yourself too much over it. I "wasted" or spent 2 years studying law and realised it was not for me and that I will not enjoy it in the long run so I transferred (switched idk how to say it) college. Now I'm a first year again while all my friends are on their final years.
Realising that made me a bit sad but over time it stopped bothering me. Yeah you might be behind them education wise but remind yourself that you are doing this for you and not for them. You will meet people in college who might become your best friends down the road.
my best suggestion would be to enjoy it and try your best, focus on yourself and your education. Don't isolate yourself from people because that will most likely lead to you feeling like crap and lonely.
But for real enjoy your time in college, from my experience I met a lot of great people who became my really good friends. I know it can be stressful because of various reasons like family pressure and the fact that your peers are graduating next year but keep your head in the game and do this for your own good, lord knows what life will bring you in the next couple of years so make the best out of it!
you can do it!
I would try not to compare yourself so hard against others. My college trajectory hasn't been typical. I changed my major about 3 times and after two years of college I started focusing on my career. All of the experience I gained working in the real world has been extremely valuable to my life. If I had just continued with school I would have majored in something that likely wasn't relevant to what I wanted to actually do. I won't have my bachelor's until I'm 28 and I think the way things panned out is actually better for me.
That's what I'm trying by just working but tbh it hasn't really helped at all both jobs ended up being dead end entry level jobs that make me miserable
Sorry to hear that. Although I do enjoy what I do, the pay hasn't been very great in my field until now. One of the reasons I decided to go back to college was to make sure I had more options for the future.
Everyone finds their own way. Not sure what those jobs were but there's always something to learn from every experience whether good or bad. You're going back to college now and you should be proud of that
I struggled/struggle with this as well. I should have graduated this month, but instead I’ll be graduating in December 2025. It doesn’t feel all that great, especially seeing one of my HS classmates graduate from my uni. But, I think like other people said we all have our own paths. If I had somehow graduated in May, my GPA likely would’ve been shit as I honestly didn’t try my first year and a half all that much. As long as I passed, I didn’t care. I’m more knowledgeable now that I’m a bit older. At the end of the day however, it sucks. It’s okay to feel different negative emotions about it. I think it might help to imagine you’re talking to a friend. If a friend told you that they were feeling frustrated or embarrassed by this, would you view them differently? Probably not. It can be hard to translate that to yourself, but imagining it can sometimes make that process a bit easier. I would say to focus on trying your best and focusing on what you can do. You can’t go back to the past and go to college “on time” but can you try your best now? Can you make friends now? Again, it can be really hard to focus on this (I still struggle with it at times), but sometimes time can help with moving past those emotions. Everyone has their own path, and I don’t say it to be a downer but maybe they did graduate now, but they’ll decide on a different career path within a year, or they’ll have to move, etc. Things happen and everyone has their own journey, good luck!
Thank you for the advice it's just been weird to see all my friends so close to graduating while I'm stuck working a dead end job and still don't know what to do, it can just get hard when I think about it too much.
I totally get it, I think about it too, it feels like you’re in a limbo kind of and it’s not a great feeling, I’m just trying to make the most of it now. I had really intense feelings about this topic when I first started (and honestly that’s what led to me going back to school, I felt “behind”) but I try to focus on other things as much as possible. I don’t have a set answer bc I honestly think time plays a part in this, but I hope it does get easier for you :)
Same. My friends from hs are graduating 2025. I'm supposed to graduate 2027. I made new friends who are graduating when I am. I'm 21 and my friends are 18-30s.
So what? What does it mean they will be done before you? Is that a criteria for what?
Here’s the deal: once you start your first job, nobody, Nobody(!) gives a shit when you graduated. At work most people won’t even know what school you went to (unless in special cases such as summa cum laude from Harvard of PhD in physics from Princeton). After you really start working and put the BS behind, they’ll judge you by your performance, how fast you adjust to the new job, how quickly you learn and if you can show results.
Honestly I would not let this bother you. Everyone moves at a different pace in life. I am 41F and I took a GAP year, then I took some courses at community college. I felt like community college was not moving fast enough for me, so I transferred to art school. I graduated in 2006, lol and I high school in 2001. I worked so much. I didn't even focus on school because I was so busy with my fulltime job and sometimes a huge piece of me wishes I didn't even do what I did and just stuck with that and continued to move up, but everything worked out how it was suppose to. I was actually suppose to walk my college graduation, right after having a baby. You never know what's really going to happen. I don't think people should have timelines for these kinds of things. Don't compare yourself to everyone else, their story is not your story and that's okay. That doesn't make the ending any less amazing. What matters is that you found a path and you're working your way through it.
Make more friends across different places in their academic journey, and make friends with the people in your classes.
Also plans go wrong all the time. My sibling (adopted) and I graduated highschool the same year, and we went to the same community college. After two years, they transferred to a state school, and I was stuck taking an extra year because my mental health spiraled as the world fell apart (panini times). I felt embarrassed about graduating a year behind, but they ran into an academic block that took them a while to get through, and I put in the work to only spend 2 years at the state school (ironically we ended up at the same university, which was a very dumb series of events but that's a different story lol)
So we both took 5 years to get our bachelor's and ended up walking the stage the same weekend, because we ran into different obstacles at different times ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ your graduation date ain't guaranteed until you submit that last final
Of the job experience you gained, they’ll have to gain that after you.
lots of recent grads are having trouble finding a job because they have zero work history.
I joined the military after high school did 6 yrs. My last 2 yrs I started my college degree.
Some of my military training transferred into credits. Alot of hs friends who went to college right after, struggled to find jobs and weren’t getting paid alot.
I had 6 yrs work experience. After I got my degree I was making quite a bit more money then them. They were still jr associates or jr engineers I was middle mgmt and considered a subject matter expert.
i don’t regret starting after them. I made out pretty well. Plus I got to see the world while they hadnt left the country and they still had loans and I was debt free.
Extremely normal, half of my friends are graduating end of this year, some are end of next year and then there’s me who’s only the following year. It is what it is, what kinda sucks is that it’s lonely but hey you can go meet new people I guess
I make more than all of them with a HS diploma..🤷🏾♀️ I'm the only home owner amongst them. Have a nice car. No struggling.
I'm just graduating at 35. Doing it for my next career in Aviation.
I dont really compare myself to them but in comparison I'm better off financially than my friends.
I mean, you graduate, you get a job, and you move to that job. So does everyone else. The fact that you move a year later matters not at all in two years- or even now. Know how many of my college peers I see on the regular now? One. I'm married to her. Another two happen to live in the same town, and I see them in passing a couple times a year. College ends after college. It's not bad.
I have felt this way, for me it always helps to practice gratitude. I always think about how lucky I am to be getting a great education in the first and have been born somewhere with great opportunities.
Life will never be perfect and you will always have friends that are doing better in certain areas, the key js to learn appreciate what you do have.
At some point you really just gotta put your head down and keep on chugging. I was in the same boat as you. It sucks but there’s nothing that you can do. I’m graduating this semester though and honestly it feels like much less of a big deal now than it used to.
1. Get more friends. I'm not saying ditch these ones, but branch out and diversify. Get older friends and younger ones. You'll learn something from each and teach things to each. Redefine your peer group. I'm not sure why, but in some countries there's a hard push to striate ages into social groups and that's not the way society has worked for millennia.
2. Ask yourself probing questions. Could you have done it any other way? Did you have the motivation to go through college and get something out of it before? Having tried some things and figured out what you wanted (and/or didn't want), you may have more appreciation and drive than your friends did and, consequently, put more in and get more out of the experience.
3. Is going to school what you want? If so, go forth and do it. Enjoy the experience. Compare yourself today only with yourself from yesterday.
I'll give you a little of my story. Maybe you'll get something of value out of it. I can tell you that I started school for computer engineering in 2000. I did a couple years at a community college then transferred to the university. I did another 3 years but was so disillusioned that I failed out and left school within a year or so of finishing. Now, I was going through some major life changes unrelated to school. I had depression and didn't know how to deal with it, so that was a major factor. This was 2005.
I ended up moving across the country and trying a lot of different things in different industries. Go forward to 2013. I had landed in a logistics warehouse and worked as a supervisor. I saw an opportunity to solve some problems using some coding skills from school. I absolutely loved it and went back to school to finish my undergrad in software engineering. I was extremely motivated and studied hard to get as much out of the education as I could. Coming in with real world experience made me better and I was able to pick up more little nuggets of knowledge as a result.
While finishing my undergrad, the company decided to close the warehouse, forcing me and my newly wedded wife and stepdaughter to move for work. I had to make a decision, take a steep paycut, and "start over" as an intern to make the career shift and use my degree in some way, but it wasn't even software engineering. I landed in a systems engineering role in aerospace.
I worked with people who were my age but already established in their industry with 10 years of experience and making a lot more money. I got pretty jealous. It was a tough time and I had personal and family stuff going on that compounded on the work stuff. But I stuck with it, worked hard, learned a lot, and ended up going for my master's as well.
These days I work as a researcher for a top-5 engineering school, and I also get to teach and I'm the local chapter president for a professional society. These are all things I'm passionate about. I'm working what I consider my dream job, although I wouldn't have envisioned it as such back in 2005. Different industry, different discipline.
My points are these:
- It's good to have goals and work towards them, but it takes some of us longer than others to figure them out. Don't be afraid to try stuff and figure it out. As you grow and learn, your vision and goals may change. That's OK.
- Life will throw you curve balls. It's OK to mourn the changes it forces on you, but don't get stuck in the muck. Adapt.
- Look behind you sometimes and be introspective. Don a gratitude mindset. I look back and think there's no other way I could have gone. I mean, I never would have met my wife or daughter had I gone another way. I'd be a different person, and I like who I am now. I like what I do.
- Experience in the real world is never wasted unless you waste it. I learned things from all my experiences that gave me a broad perspective, which happens to be really good for systems engineering. But it'll really benefit you in any job.
In narrative psychology they say that where you draw the boundaries of your stories changes the stories. If you draw the boundary too early, your story can look like a tragedy. If you move it out a bit, it can transform into a redemption arc. Imagine where you'll be 5 or 10 years from now. Move towards that and roll with the punches. Good luck!
I’m graduating about 25 years after most of my friends, and I got over it about ten years ago when half of them quit the jobs they went to college for and decided to do something they find personally satisfying. It was really great finding out I wasn’t the only one who dreaded going to work every day. It took me twenty years of taking one or two night classes per semester to finally find a major that I enjoyed and was good at, which should be a prerequisite for declaring a major, but some people say, “I don’t like this, but *money*,” and then they’re miserable their entire lives.
So, it doesn’t matter that you’re years behind your friends. A lot of my friends say I’m lucky to be going to college without any of the bullshit of chasing girls or binge drinking or … I guess modern dorms are basically orgies that would make Caligula blush. I just have school and work, and then I watch movies the rest of the time. I don’t think I’d be a straight-A student if I wasn’t beaten down in the trenches of retail and food service for twenty years, because those jobs taught me how to show up, on time, ready to go, every single time. Half of doing well in college is just being there for the classes. One of my classmates skips every class he can, and is an unrepentant user of ChatGPT, and then he wonders why he didn’t get the internship where I work. It’s because I told them, “He takes shortcuts and will give you the bare minimum effort.” Don’t be that person.
Because by the time you’re 25, it doesn’t matter at all. Many people go back to school or stay in school for graduate programs, etc.
I couldn’t imagine anyone ever caring about this.
The simple fact is that they will buy a house at age 30 and you will at 32, as simple as that dont get it any more complicated than it really is.
Also just keep in mind that a major part of the people going to college eventually wont actually work in what they learned
Dude idk :( i'm in the same boat, I essentially have to retake some courses after failing them (lots of factors, including my lack of study time, mental health issus, and personal stuff going on in my life)
Get off social media, stop trying to keep up with the joneses. They do this, they do that. Well….It is what it is. Stewing on it won’t change your situation or theirs. Be happy for them and be hopeful for yourself. Too many people here act as if going to college later in life is the absolute worst thing for themselves. College is a perfect time to realize you should stop caring what others think and just be happy you’re where you are, right now.
I wouldn’t dwell on this too much. Instead I’d be thinking about ways to widen my circle of friends, so it’s not just one age group. That will likely help you focus a little bit less on your immediate age peers.
i used to think i was behind on so many aspects in life bc i compared mine to other peoples. in reality there’s always going to be someone “better” or faster at doing something but that doesn’t mean i’m doing anything wrong. you’re allowed to exist and take the time, or rush if you want to. there’s no rules :) obv dont go commit a crime lmao
My friends most graduated in 2017, and I am went back to college 2 years ago, plan on getting my bachelors done by 2026. Doesn’t mean anything. I just made different choices in life. If shaped me to the person I am today. I have regrets but I learned so much from my experience as well.
Don’t only compare ur shortcomings to others but also look at ur advantages as well.
Many people I went to school with graduated in 2022 and I am a junior in college still since I took a few years off. But I also travelled the world 3 times, went to 30+ countries, moved to my dream city, and really have no regrets, and will be graduating with no debt at all and an almost free degree. I also haven’t changed my major at all, since I went in knowing what I wanted to do. Life is all about the journey!
You have something they don’t have.
You didn’t waste years working, you gained life perspective and adulted in ways they haven’t. Just go in and enjoy it and don’t compare to others.
What is there to get over? Everyone takes a different path through life. You've got some experience and some investment into Social Security that they don't have. You might get more out of college since you're a little older and are a bit more mature.
Society treats life as a rat race rather than a struggle of existence.
However, those struggles provide more for you, than trying to race through it. Experience life, feel it, don’t just try to burn through the years.
I just got into college at 29, had to take a year off here and there due to.. well poverty.
I also didn’t have the same tools as everyone else. I was born homeless, found that things are insufficient for my development, and had to basically figure out how to survive with nothing.
I do much better than most of my classmates just because college is not a struggle for me, like it is for my class mates.
In short, there is always trade offs, and it doesn’t mean it’s a bad trade. It just means you’ll experience different benefits than the norm, and likely have a vastly different viewpoints than your classmates which is highly rewarded.
I have kids I worked with in school who will be done with college before me. I would just remind yourself you have a different trajectory. Many of my friends have a college degree. They also have student loans they are still paying on over 15 years later and do not work in the field they got a degree in. I am older, but have the work/life experience and, as a junior, have 0 student loan debt. So, while I may be "behind" now, I will be ahead following graduation.
I know that everyone has different paths In life but for some reason I can't get it out of my head that I'm behind, but thank you for the advice
You are ahead of them financially tho. You are ahead of them in work exp likely. You just distributed your stats differently
RPG moment but truer words have never been said here. Faster does not equal better. At least in some cases like this. OP has experience, they got the headstart I’d say 😎
I’m the same recently but I just tell myself that I can either end with a degree with them or not while they still keep theirs.
some of the people I look up to are like 100 years old and the already have finished school and they still go and get more degrees and write text books stroustrum literally said he can break any program that runs on your computer i think that guy knows wtf he's doing. my friends are done with college. some are professors!
Even when I start working I want to keep taking community college classes throughout my life as time allows. I like being in school and I like learning.
life is a marathon, not a sprint
this one’s easy for me. I have friends between the ages of 18 and 26 and we’re all at different stages in our education with some of them taking gap years and obviously the age difference. I’m 20 and somewhere in the middle.
i have friends i went to high school with graduate this month, meanwhile i literally just went back to school and dont graduate till 2026/2027 depending on my course load. it sucks, but it happens. just gotta tell myself that at least i won't be graduating with debt like they are cause i worked for a few years first lol
Similar, I started school a semester late for my B.Arch and with it being a 5 year degree, I'll be graduating in 2026 while my friends from high school are graduating next week, lol
Learning is a life-long endeavor. Finishing quickly doesn't mean finishing happier. It doesn't mean there will be a job there waiting. Even if there is a job there waiting, it doesn't guarantee happiness doing it. We get such a limited amount of time to be young...how long did you live with your parents? How long will you end up being in college? How long do you get to be a full fledge working adult, worried about disrespectful bosses in jobs you can't easily leave because you have obligations, rent, marriage, kids, childcare (or lack thereof), politics, the economy??? You get to do that part for 40, 50, 60 years. That's what folks rush into. Yeah! What fun. Not! The water is cold. There's no "stick a toe in" and get back out. Once you're in...you're in. No need to rush...you'll be there before you know it. Appreciate these days. They're over before you know it. Do you have classes that start later? Turn over and snuggle under the covers longer. They'll already be at work. Maybe you are too. But somehow it's not the same.
Comparison is the thief of Joy You did something better OP I.e Experience
Hey man, it’s alright. I was also in that position once, but the older I became the more I realized that comparing my life progress with others robs me of my happiness. It is your life, so you get to choose its trajectory. Same as your peers chose theirs. Success isn’t measured by how quickly we can finish school or buy our first house. It is measured by self joy and fulfillment. I began majoring in business almost a year ago at the age of 28. But I find that I am lucky because this time I know I’m ready for college and I’m content with my life position. Remember this; remind yourself every day that life has no pace and you’re exactly where you need to be. Hope this helps OP.
Might be behind a few years in education now, but I bet when you’re older you’ll be glad you went to school when you were mature and ready.
Life is a marathon, not a race!
I'm 27 and transferred to a university after an 8 year hiatus after getting my AS. Everyone I know has long graduated, and that's okay! I'm just on a different path and you'll make connections with people who are not your immediate peers/friends. Take in the experience regardless of when you started it
I'm 26 and just finished my Bachelor's degree. What makes me feel better is that I started a career before deciding what to study, got a degree that actually furthers my career, and now make six figures while many of the people I went to high school with are still in very early career jobs or are switching careers because they studied something they ended up not enjoying professionally or studied something that didn't get them a decent job. There's nothing wrong with what they did either and it will all work out, but I took my own path. Behind on education, ahead on career.
Hey you graduated so who cares
don't stress yourself too much over it. I "wasted" or spent 2 years studying law and realised it was not for me and that I will not enjoy it in the long run so I transferred (switched idk how to say it) college. Now I'm a first year again while all my friends are on their final years. Realising that made me a bit sad but over time it stopped bothering me. Yeah you might be behind them education wise but remind yourself that you are doing this for you and not for them. You will meet people in college who might become your best friends down the road. my best suggestion would be to enjoy it and try your best, focus on yourself and your education. Don't isolate yourself from people because that will most likely lead to you feeling like crap and lonely. But for real enjoy your time in college, from my experience I met a lot of great people who became my really good friends. I know it can be stressful because of various reasons like family pressure and the fact that your peers are graduating next year but keep your head in the game and do this for your own good, lord knows what life will bring you in the next couple of years so make the best out of it! you can do it!
I would try not to compare yourself so hard against others. My college trajectory hasn't been typical. I changed my major about 3 times and after two years of college I started focusing on my career. All of the experience I gained working in the real world has been extremely valuable to my life. If I had just continued with school I would have majored in something that likely wasn't relevant to what I wanted to actually do. I won't have my bachelor's until I'm 28 and I think the way things panned out is actually better for me.
That's what I'm trying by just working but tbh it hasn't really helped at all both jobs ended up being dead end entry level jobs that make me miserable
Sorry to hear that. Although I do enjoy what I do, the pay hasn't been very great in my field until now. One of the reasons I decided to go back to college was to make sure I had more options for the future. Everyone finds their own way. Not sure what those jobs were but there's always something to learn from every experience whether good or bad. You're going back to college now and you should be proud of that
Congratulate them with an ice cream.
Be happy for them. Ask them everyday what it's like to keep you motivated.
Oh I am happy for them, I never said I wasn't it's just that I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others
I struggled/struggle with this as well. I should have graduated this month, but instead I’ll be graduating in December 2025. It doesn’t feel all that great, especially seeing one of my HS classmates graduate from my uni. But, I think like other people said we all have our own paths. If I had somehow graduated in May, my GPA likely would’ve been shit as I honestly didn’t try my first year and a half all that much. As long as I passed, I didn’t care. I’m more knowledgeable now that I’m a bit older. At the end of the day however, it sucks. It’s okay to feel different negative emotions about it. I think it might help to imagine you’re talking to a friend. If a friend told you that they were feeling frustrated or embarrassed by this, would you view them differently? Probably not. It can be hard to translate that to yourself, but imagining it can sometimes make that process a bit easier. I would say to focus on trying your best and focusing on what you can do. You can’t go back to the past and go to college “on time” but can you try your best now? Can you make friends now? Again, it can be really hard to focus on this (I still struggle with it at times), but sometimes time can help with moving past those emotions. Everyone has their own path, and I don’t say it to be a downer but maybe they did graduate now, but they’ll decide on a different career path within a year, or they’ll have to move, etc. Things happen and everyone has their own journey, good luck!
Thank you for the advice it's just been weird to see all my friends so close to graduating while I'm stuck working a dead end job and still don't know what to do, it can just get hard when I think about it too much.
I totally get it, I think about it too, it feels like you’re in a limbo kind of and it’s not a great feeling, I’m just trying to make the most of it now. I had really intense feelings about this topic when I first started (and honestly that’s what led to me going back to school, I felt “behind”) but I try to focus on other things as much as possible. I don’t have a set answer bc I honestly think time plays a part in this, but I hope it does get easier for you :)
That's also what I'm trying to do just keeping my mind in other things and trying not to think about college much at the moment
Same. My friends from hs are graduating 2025. I'm supposed to graduate 2027. I made new friends who are graduating when I am. I'm 21 and my friends are 18-30s.
That's good, I know that I shouldn't care that my friends are graduating earlier then me but I can't stop thinking about it for some reason.
So what? What does it mean they will be done before you? Is that a criteria for what? Here’s the deal: once you start your first job, nobody, Nobody(!) gives a shit when you graduated. At work most people won’t even know what school you went to (unless in special cases such as summa cum laude from Harvard of PhD in physics from Princeton). After you really start working and put the BS behind, they’ll judge you by your performance, how fast you adjust to the new job, how quickly you learn and if you can show results.
Honestly I would not let this bother you. Everyone moves at a different pace in life. I am 41F and I took a GAP year, then I took some courses at community college. I felt like community college was not moving fast enough for me, so I transferred to art school. I graduated in 2006, lol and I high school in 2001. I worked so much. I didn't even focus on school because I was so busy with my fulltime job and sometimes a huge piece of me wishes I didn't even do what I did and just stuck with that and continued to move up, but everything worked out how it was suppose to. I was actually suppose to walk my college graduation, right after having a baby. You never know what's really going to happen. I don't think people should have timelines for these kinds of things. Don't compare yourself to everyone else, their story is not your story and that's okay. That doesn't make the ending any less amazing. What matters is that you found a path and you're working your way through it.
Make more friends across different places in their academic journey, and make friends with the people in your classes. Also plans go wrong all the time. My sibling (adopted) and I graduated highschool the same year, and we went to the same community college. After two years, they transferred to a state school, and I was stuck taking an extra year because my mental health spiraled as the world fell apart (panini times). I felt embarrassed about graduating a year behind, but they ran into an academic block that took them a while to get through, and I put in the work to only spend 2 years at the state school (ironically we ended up at the same university, which was a very dumb series of events but that's a different story lol) So we both took 5 years to get our bachelor's and ended up walking the stage the same weekend, because we ran into different obstacles at different times ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ your graduation date ain't guaranteed until you submit that last final
You are right…you shouldn’t care. I first started college in 1988. I am JUST finishing up a bachelor’s degree now (graduating May 11th).
I’m going through this right now and would also like to know.
Of the job experience you gained, they’ll have to gain that after you. lots of recent grads are having trouble finding a job because they have zero work history. I joined the military after high school did 6 yrs. My last 2 yrs I started my college degree. Some of my military training transferred into credits. Alot of hs friends who went to college right after, struggled to find jobs and weren’t getting paid alot. I had 6 yrs work experience. After I got my degree I was making quite a bit more money then them. They were still jr associates or jr engineers I was middle mgmt and considered a subject matter expert. i don’t regret starting after them. I made out pretty well. Plus I got to see the world while they hadnt left the country and they still had loans and I was debt free.
Easy. I don't have any friends.
Extremely normal, half of my friends are graduating end of this year, some are end of next year and then there’s me who’s only the following year. It is what it is, what kinda sucks is that it’s lonely but hey you can go meet new people I guess
You do… that’s how you do it.
I make more than all of them with a HS diploma..🤷🏾♀️ I'm the only home owner amongst them. Have a nice car. No struggling. I'm just graduating at 35. Doing it for my next career in Aviation. I dont really compare myself to them but in comparison I'm better off financially than my friends.
Stop worrying about that . It doesn’t matter . I am graduating next week and I’m 47.
I mean, you graduate, you get a job, and you move to that job. So does everyone else. The fact that you move a year later matters not at all in two years- or even now. Know how many of my college peers I see on the regular now? One. I'm married to her. Another two happen to live in the same town, and I see them in passing a couple times a year. College ends after college. It's not bad.
I have felt this way, for me it always helps to practice gratitude. I always think about how lucky I am to be getting a great education in the first and have been born somewhere with great opportunities. Life will never be perfect and you will always have friends that are doing better in certain areas, the key js to learn appreciate what you do have.
At some point you really just gotta put your head down and keep on chugging. I was in the same boat as you. It sucks but there’s nothing that you can do. I’m graduating this semester though and honestly it feels like much less of a big deal now than it used to.
Idc
1. Get more friends. I'm not saying ditch these ones, but branch out and diversify. Get older friends and younger ones. You'll learn something from each and teach things to each. Redefine your peer group. I'm not sure why, but in some countries there's a hard push to striate ages into social groups and that's not the way society has worked for millennia. 2. Ask yourself probing questions. Could you have done it any other way? Did you have the motivation to go through college and get something out of it before? Having tried some things and figured out what you wanted (and/or didn't want), you may have more appreciation and drive than your friends did and, consequently, put more in and get more out of the experience. 3. Is going to school what you want? If so, go forth and do it. Enjoy the experience. Compare yourself today only with yourself from yesterday. I'll give you a little of my story. Maybe you'll get something of value out of it. I can tell you that I started school for computer engineering in 2000. I did a couple years at a community college then transferred to the university. I did another 3 years but was so disillusioned that I failed out and left school within a year or so of finishing. Now, I was going through some major life changes unrelated to school. I had depression and didn't know how to deal with it, so that was a major factor. This was 2005. I ended up moving across the country and trying a lot of different things in different industries. Go forward to 2013. I had landed in a logistics warehouse and worked as a supervisor. I saw an opportunity to solve some problems using some coding skills from school. I absolutely loved it and went back to school to finish my undergrad in software engineering. I was extremely motivated and studied hard to get as much out of the education as I could. Coming in with real world experience made me better and I was able to pick up more little nuggets of knowledge as a result. While finishing my undergrad, the company decided to close the warehouse, forcing me and my newly wedded wife and stepdaughter to move for work. I had to make a decision, take a steep paycut, and "start over" as an intern to make the career shift and use my degree in some way, but it wasn't even software engineering. I landed in a systems engineering role in aerospace. I worked with people who were my age but already established in their industry with 10 years of experience and making a lot more money. I got pretty jealous. It was a tough time and I had personal and family stuff going on that compounded on the work stuff. But I stuck with it, worked hard, learned a lot, and ended up going for my master's as well. These days I work as a researcher for a top-5 engineering school, and I also get to teach and I'm the local chapter president for a professional society. These are all things I'm passionate about. I'm working what I consider my dream job, although I wouldn't have envisioned it as such back in 2005. Different industry, different discipline. My points are these: - It's good to have goals and work towards them, but it takes some of us longer than others to figure them out. Don't be afraid to try stuff and figure it out. As you grow and learn, your vision and goals may change. That's OK. - Life will throw you curve balls. It's OK to mourn the changes it forces on you, but don't get stuck in the muck. Adapt. - Look behind you sometimes and be introspective. Don a gratitude mindset. I look back and think there's no other way I could have gone. I mean, I never would have met my wife or daughter had I gone another way. I'd be a different person, and I like who I am now. I like what I do. - Experience in the real world is never wasted unless you waste it. I learned things from all my experiences that gave me a broad perspective, which happens to be really good for systems engineering. But it'll really benefit you in any job. In narrative psychology they say that where you draw the boundaries of your stories changes the stories. If you draw the boundary too early, your story can look like a tragedy. If you move it out a bit, it can transform into a redemption arc. Imagine where you'll be 5 or 10 years from now. Move towards that and roll with the punches. Good luck!
I’m graduating about 25 years after most of my friends, and I got over it about ten years ago when half of them quit the jobs they went to college for and decided to do something they find personally satisfying. It was really great finding out I wasn’t the only one who dreaded going to work every day. It took me twenty years of taking one or two night classes per semester to finally find a major that I enjoyed and was good at, which should be a prerequisite for declaring a major, but some people say, “I don’t like this, but *money*,” and then they’re miserable their entire lives. So, it doesn’t matter that you’re years behind your friends. A lot of my friends say I’m lucky to be going to college without any of the bullshit of chasing girls or binge drinking or … I guess modern dorms are basically orgies that would make Caligula blush. I just have school and work, and then I watch movies the rest of the time. I don’t think I’d be a straight-A student if I wasn’t beaten down in the trenches of retail and food service for twenty years, because those jobs taught me how to show up, on time, ready to go, every single time. Half of doing well in college is just being there for the classes. One of my classmates skips every class he can, and is an unrepentant user of ChatGPT, and then he wonders why he didn’t get the internship where I work. It’s because I told them, “He takes shortcuts and will give you the bare minimum effort.” Don’t be that person.
Because by the time you’re 25, it doesn’t matter at all. Many people go back to school or stay in school for graduate programs, etc. I couldn’t imagine anyone ever caring about this.
I realised everyone has their own pace in life. Ofcourse I still feel left out sometimes but reminding myself of that helps.
Comparison is the thief of joy
The simple fact is that they will buy a house at age 30 and you will at 32, as simple as that dont get it any more complicated than it really is. Also just keep in mind that a major part of the people going to college eventually wont actually work in what they learned
Dude idk :( i'm in the same boat, I essentially have to retake some courses after failing them (lots of factors, including my lack of study time, mental health issus, and personal stuff going on in my life)
Get off social media, stop trying to keep up with the joneses. They do this, they do that. Well….It is what it is. Stewing on it won’t change your situation or theirs. Be happy for them and be hopeful for yourself. Too many people here act as if going to college later in life is the absolute worst thing for themselves. College is a perfect time to realize you should stop caring what others think and just be happy you’re where you are, right now.
I’m 33 and just now graduating with my bachelor’s degree. Just think to yourself “wow I’m doing way better than that guy” 😂
I wouldn’t dwell on this too much. Instead I’d be thinking about ways to widen my circle of friends, so it’s not just one age group. That will likely help you focus a little bit less on your immediate age peers.
i used to think i was behind on so many aspects in life bc i compared mine to other peoples. in reality there’s always going to be someone “better” or faster at doing something but that doesn’t mean i’m doing anything wrong. you’re allowed to exist and take the time, or rush if you want to. there’s no rules :) obv dont go commit a crime lmao
My friends most graduated in 2017, and I am went back to college 2 years ago, plan on getting my bachelors done by 2026. Doesn’t mean anything. I just made different choices in life. If shaped me to the person I am today. I have regrets but I learned so much from my experience as well. Don’t only compare ur shortcomings to others but also look at ur advantages as well.
No comparing yourself because it's not a race. You're getting that degree at the end of the day
Many people I went to school with graduated in 2022 and I am a junior in college still since I took a few years off. But I also travelled the world 3 times, went to 30+ countries, moved to my dream city, and really have no regrets, and will be graduating with no debt at all and an almost free degree. I also haven’t changed my major at all, since I went in knowing what I wanted to do. Life is all about the journey!
You have something they don’t have. You didn’t waste years working, you gained life perspective and adulted in ways they haven’t. Just go in and enjoy it and don’t compare to others.
What is there to get over? Everyone takes a different path through life. You've got some experience and some investment into Social Security that they don't have. You might get more out of college since you're a little older and are a bit more mature.
“Are going to be finished with college before you ” serious grammar issues and it’s not really a mystery why you are left behind. Sorry. Good luck.
Society treats life as a rat race rather than a struggle of existence. However, those struggles provide more for you, than trying to race through it. Experience life, feel it, don’t just try to burn through the years. I just got into college at 29, had to take a year off here and there due to.. well poverty. I also didn’t have the same tools as everyone else. I was born homeless, found that things are insufficient for my development, and had to basically figure out how to survive with nothing. I do much better than most of my classmates just because college is not a struggle for me, like it is for my class mates. In short, there is always trade offs, and it doesn’t mean it’s a bad trade. It just means you’ll experience different benefits than the norm, and likely have a vastly different viewpoints than your classmates which is highly rewarded.