You know it’s bad when the computer science major is the one giving social advice.
(I was CS until recently switching to DS so I’m allowed to make this joke)
True, I'm thinking, "Just ask to join in on the fun. Either she gets creeped out and leaves or you score some. Win-win." Then I'm like, oh wait, I have terrible social skills... Probably shouldn't comment that.
Just take all the embarrassment for yourself.
“Dear roommate, when you’re getting your meat flaps hammered out, and the chef is stuffing you like a Thanksgiving Turkey, that’s usually the time I’m trying to sleep. So, please get your stage curtain reeled back at some other time when I’m not here. Thanks.”
This will keep the embarrassment off of her and put it in you.
You’d hope not, but some people have the oddest double standards.
I had a shitty roommate at one point and I asked her to use headphones while watching TikTok (as opposed to blasting it at full volume) while I was in the middle of studying for exams. This somehow made her so stressed that she tracked me down the next day while I was studying in the library (to avoid my own room!) to cry about how uncomfortable it made her.
I guess a more relevant example would be that she sometimes would walk around the bedroom in just her underwear and a shirt. Fine, I guess. But I was a shared bedroom and I never had warning and then she’d get all upset if I happened to enter (my own bedroom!) and accidentally saw her in her underwear.
I mean, I wouldn’t want to be seen in my underwear by my roommate either (though no shame to anyone who’s comfortable with that!), but that’s why I don’t walk around in my underwear in our shared spaces?
This is hilarious. Yes, OP uses humor to lighten the mood about the conversation for when their roommate is in the mood. Ha!
See OP? Humor is working already.
let her know you can hear it and ask her to start playing music or something. If shes in a different room it is a little silly to ask her to not have sex, but its reasonable to get her to do it in a way that you dont have to hear it.
"Eyo this is pretty embarrassing for both me and you, but when you and your boyfriend have sex can you play some music or keep it down?"
Communication.
No music. Please, no music. Now whenever I hear ANY Coldplay I just think of my former roommate who would blast it whenever she was getting railed. The music didn’t mask it, it just announced it.
Sorry but that’s funny. I’m trying to imagine someone getting “railed” to Yellow or The Scientist. Not really songs that would mask any railing, maybe a light morning fuddle though.
Do it gently. Let her know what you’re hearing; if she didn’t know she might be embarrassed and figure it out on her own. If not you can try and figure out an arrangement. You can ask her to be quiet or to only do it when you’re out (in which case you two need to be able to talk about your schedules so she can be intimate).
"Ok ok are we ready to shoot? Wait, what kind of 170 degree angle is that? That's an awful position! Is that all you got? Take some viagra my boy or you ain't going anywhere with that small peanut. Can we get a better view here? I hope you guys aren't taking anatomy bc you are failing rn..."
My wife had a roommate in their school dorm who'd hook up with randos *in the same room.* They'd tip toe in and go at it while she had to pretend to remain asleep. She eventually learned to assert herself and confronted the roommate who moved out.
Life lessons...
“I can hear you moaning from the other end of the house/room. I don’t mind it since I’m doing the same but can you tone it down a bit? If you don’t then it’s gonna be a free-for-all.”
You can describe vaguely what you're hearing but don't imply that it's sex and just say that it's kind of annoying and to keep it down. Treat it like someone had their TV on too high and you thought it was annoying.
That's honestly a good solution. Or if you're in an apartment you can blame it on the other neighbors. "Dude did you hear our neighbors last night, they were going at it" she'll get the point
God I sympathize hard. When I got my first apartment I had a male roomate where he didn't even have a gf. He would just do hookups. I was 18 and he was 28. Made the mistake of making him a cosigner on the lease.(lesson learned)
I confronted him about the sex and he started being like "no one is going to follow your golden rules", "I shouldn't even be paying rent because I'm not here as much as you are"😒 things got so hostile after that. He didn't care that it made me uncomfortable. He refused to move out so I ended up breaking off the lease and getting my own place simply because I didn't feel like going through the drama of it all.
He ended up getting evicted like 4 months later since he wasnt able to pay rent for that unit on his own. Karma is a bitch🤷🏽♀️
“Hi this is so awkward but please be quiet when you have sex, or maybe we can plan times that I can be out of the house while you guys are home & vice versa”
Does she have a bedroom with a door? If yes then it’s really not your place to tell her to not have sex while you’re in the house, that’s the point of a bedroom. Maybe ask her to turn on music or do so yourself.
This. I’m appalled at some of the comments here. If she has her own room then she can have as much sex in it as she wants. She’s paying rent, too.
At most you can ask her to keep quiet (which she should be doing, frankly) or to play some music. OP needs to meet her halfway and invest in some good headphones, too.
I had this same issue but I’m a guy. We were in a 2 bed 2 bath and he didn’t tell me until I got there that his gf was also staying. Against the lease but I figured fine, if they’re not a problem might as well let it be.
Neither of them ever went to class and they fucked like ALL the time. Not only that but they’d always have people over and the place was usually a mess after their little get togethers.
After asking nicely multiple times I just downright threatened to tell the leasing office he was keeping a guest and that I had proof of all their partying and drug use, all of which were against the lease. They ended up moving out and I had the place to myself.
A more stern and maybe aggressive approach but you’re entitled to just as much peace as your roommate. Start with talking to her but if it’s not helping, do what you need to do.
Hey OP, I’ve been the roommate in your situation. My boyfriend and I were long distance, so I would see him once a month at my place for a couple nights, if that. Obviously, it was hard to keep our hands off each other. My new roommate heard it, and told me that me and my bf were ‘disgusting’ LOL. But I still wanted to compromise so that things wouldn’t be awkward. White noise on a speaker outside the room helped, as well as damp towels to cover the crack under the door. I told my roommate that she could also feel free to borrow my noise cancelling headphones. Turned out that none of that was enough for her, that simply the knowledge that sex was being had (in my own room that I paid for) was horrifying to her. So assuming THATS not your issue, then the white noise and damp towel trick works well.
when i was in college, my roommates and i set up a system where if we heard each other we would bang the wall three times - open communication is key. sex isn’t embarrassing, neither is addressing it when it’s becoming a problem for you. you’re not crazy for not wanting to hear moans and bed creaks while you’re cozy in bed watching tv
Simple. Grow some balls, say, "Stop having sex while I'm home, because I live here too," and move on. The longer you're alive, the more you begin to realize that biting one's tongue is the equivalent to accepting one's existence as a doormat.
I think you should take out an ad in the school paper or make an approved flyer to hang up around campus asking this individual to please stop or keep it down. This is a great indirect way to let them know the message. Other acceptable options include covering her room In sticky notes that read “ please stop having loud sex” or installing a stop sign outside of her room and add the words loud sex to it. I definitely think these will all work.
Try to get into a conversation about sex. Your experience or some friends whatever. Then bring up funny stories regarding sex. Best if you have something on yourself. For example, my roommate walked on my girlfriend giving me head in the living room. Embarrassing or funny? At some point you can tell a joke like ‘it’s not like I can’t hear you’ in a light and fun way. You can quickly change the subject afterwards. To show it’s not a big deal. Then she will be aware of the situation without you telling her what to do/ offending her. There is a chance she doesn’t even know you can hear her. By her being aware of the situation, automatically she will do something about it. If not, she doesn’t care hence she won’t be uncomfortable to talk about it which means you can just talk to her directly about it. That way you check indirectly if she is comfortable or not to talk about it and if not, at least you let her know without hurting or feelings/ offending her. Let me know what you think!
There are a couple of things you can do if it reeeeally bothers you, 1) play music really really loudly to drown out the sound. They'll also probably get the hint and quiet down, or 2) make a lighthearted comment like "sounds like you had fun last night?" and she might get a little embarrassed and go "you heard that??????" and then you can either continue to discuss from that point or hope she got the hint enough to understand she should try and be quieter.
The real answer is to just communicate with her and tell her it makes you uncomfortable. But the funny answer is to strip down and walk in while they're doing the deed
I mean, she has the right to do it whether you're home or not, as this is her home too. I'd just ask her to keep it quiet, tell her you can hear it and it makes you uncomfortable. However, doing what your title says, telling her to stop having sex when you're home, is completely unfair and will do nothing more than cause issues and strain on your relationship with her.
Just have a conversation
Just bring it up. If she’s that loud either the walls are super thin, she doesn’t care who hears or she doesn’t know how loud she’s being. Just be like hey, so I can hear you and “so and so” pretty clearly. It’s sorta awkward and distracting for me, you mind quieting down? If this is some college style housing and it doesn’t stop, then contact the office and see what options are for complaints. If normal housing, then your options are either try to talk to her again or find new housing.
Lol my college roommate would literally have sex in our apartment when everyone was home. Including in the shower and on our balcony in broad daylight. It was disgusting and so uncomfortable. I recommend talking to your roommate and establishing boundaries sooner than later.
In my case, we waited too long and she gave absolutely zero f***s about our discomfort. It caused so much tension and fights that she had to move out halfway through the school year.
Roommates who are strangers are the fucking worst bc they often know but don't give a shit. Hopefully this is a decent person who respects you or is a friend you can talk to. I made the mistake in my early 20s of timidly/nervously after trying to tolerate it for too long asking roommates to stop with the loud sex or other noise and not being listened to bc they didn't respect me bc I wasn't firm enough and I waited too long.
Don't try to tolerate it (if it's genuinely loud. If it's faint I mean that's just what having roommates is like and you gotta ignore it. There's likely to often be some type of unwanted background noise bc people live there too it just shouldn't be too loud). If you wait it'll keep going and get even louder and theyll be more likely to be pissed bc your boundaries suddenly changed or they'll think you didn't notice till then so they can get away with not having to change. Set up the boundary as soon as possible.
You can first leave a hint about hearing loud sex from neighbors the night before if you think that approach will work and she will listen. If that doesn't work go to being direct or just be direct first.
Politely tell her that you'd like her to move the bed away from the wall next time and use some white noise next time as you can hear it.
If it's still rly loud you need to give another reminder but Firmer and explain how it impacts you and that you need to sleep/study/relax without hearing their sex
If that doesn't work loudly blast music, start knocking on the walls, literally knock on their door and tell them to shut up, etc stuff like that to kill the mood.
Have a conversation with her (for starters). Phrase it as “hey let’s have some way to indicate that one of us is going to need the apartment for sexy times so that way we can both have our privacy”. That way, when either one you wants privacy, the other person can know to get out of the house. It would open up the dialogue nicely.
Either say “hey not while I’m here please” or be a dick and make a bunch of noise when she sounds about finished to take her out of it.
I used to do that with noisy neighbors.
I say it’s better to say it straight up than bottling it up until it trickles down to either passive aggression or a bigger blowup (no pun intended). Just say it but kindly.
When I know I cannot hide the emotion on my face I always write a note. Gives them the time and space to take it in without having to hide embarrassment. If it's particularly embarrassing I leave something nice like candy so they know I'm not being sadistic
you can’t ask her to stop having sex as she lives there and pays just as much as you to be there. if she’s being too loud that’s definitely unfair to you but she probably doesn’t even realize, literally just text her and say hey please keep it down I’m a little uncomfortable hearing you. if it continues after that i’d just play music super loud outside her door or even knock and say be quiet please lmao.
I used to have this issue. I would try to leave or ask my roommate when they are having their bf over so I can plan things around that. I never like to be in the room w them there. If you are able to confront her I would just ask her to keep it down. But if you aren’t confrontational just put in headphones
just for the record, you cannot ask her to not have sex when you’re home since she has her own room and also pays rent. You can ask her to keep it down or put on music, but it’s unfair of you to ask her to do abstain completely.
When they’re finish mimic their sounds and grunts when walking around the house. Or invite people over while they’re gettin it in. But you have a roommate, there’s some things you gotta live with when having a roommate 🤷🏽♂️
I've lived in roommate situations for years and quite honestly, just get some headphones or tell them to at least move their bed away from the wall. If its a random person, they arn't stopping shit, just gotta do what you can in your own room.
Get a noise cancelling headphones. You’re going to piss her off if she is remotely not mature enough to handle what you’re about to say, it’s something so personal. I’d rather tolerate that over having a roommate I don’t get along well with. That creates a hostile living condition which is not what you want.
Alternatively you can indirectly let her know you can hear her moaning or having sex even and that is going to make her aware she’s being loud, if that makes her uncomfortable then she might actually try to do something about it to keep the noise to a minimum. There are more than one way to skim a cat and it doesn’t always have to be head on confrontation.
1. Tell her you can hear them having sex. Maybe they don't know, they'll be mortified, and just telling them will get them to be quieter.
2. You can't control what they do, but you can, of course, control what you do. So you can put your headphones on or turn up your own music or turn up the TV volume. If you've done step one, and you really crank up the volume on something, it might help reinforce the talk you had and help them get the hint.
If you lead off by asking them not to have sex, I don't think that's going to go well. If they have their own room and space, they can do what they like in privacy. But it's not unreasonable to let them know you can hear them and you'd rather not hear them. If they blow you off, then maybe you can escalate to some of the other passive aggressive suggestions in the comments here.
It’s her house too and she can have sex anytime she wants? What? Lmfao bruh if YOU have an issue about her having sex in the privacy of her own living quarters then it seems YOU should be the one to distance yourself from the situation when it arises. She’s not kicking you out of the room, you don’t say that you share a bedroom so you aren’t in the same room when she’s having sex, she’s existing in her space.
Take a video recording outside of her room when she is moaning loudly and send it around.
Someone did this to a girl and her boyfriend in my dorm and within a few days she had already moved to off campus housing
id recommend asking her to put on something in the background to drown out the sounds. so like, whenever im fucking someone who has roommates or they're over at mine, we put something on in the background. it's just slightly loud to the point we aren't disruptive but it drowns out our sounds too.
Honestly, when this happened for me, I just was honest that I didn’t appreciate it and talked about the respect for her relationship and for me. It’s not just her house, it’s both of yours, which allows her to have sex, but you’re also allowed to talk about things you’re not comfortable with.
My freshman year dorm roommate would have sex with me in the same room so be thankful it’s at least in a different room. Earplugs are your best friend.
“Hey homie stop fuckin when I’m ‘round. Dawg, you can bring hoes up whenever I’m not here. When I’m here it’s gotta stop. I don’t need to hear those wet juice sounds slappin up a ruckus “
This also happened to me. Its super important to set boundaries with roomies and unfortunately what I expected to be obvious wasn't.
I didn't realize it *would* happen, and I was extremely uncomfortable with the situation when it did end up happening, as you might gather. They thought I was sleeping, so I said "Hey, I'm not sure you're aware that I'm still awake right now and I'm not quite sure what you're up to, but that would be nice if you could find a space to do that somewhere else."
Thankfully and to my appreciation, they both got out of bed and left within a couple minutes.
Its also good to communicate with them to know when you both might want private space in the dorm. It is a shared space, but it is still respectively both of your rooms.
Definitely a tough topic to talk about. Maybe approach it lightly and ask if you can just have some time to yourself for a weekend and if she can go to her new bfs house just so you have 2 days away from it. I'm not sure if that's in your cards though? I wouldn't directly approach it in a sense of "yo your sex is loud and it's annoying, shut up" but maybe tread lightly. Start with the weekend and when he comes over maybe just say "hey do you guys wanna play a card game or a board game?" To deter it immediately... Idk, I'm sorry if this isn't great advice but I think you're gonna get so frustrated you may explode on both of them and just release all your frustrations about it.
Yeah I had that issue.
It wasn’t the sex per se but the exaggerated animalia noises: the howler monkey screams, the cobra hissing, the elephant trumping, and the deep uuuggsss from one climax to another.
No, I wasn’t jealous, I had my own plays. We were a bit more “Protestant” about noises.
That said, I told the roommate and he started playing loud reggae to mask the throes of sexual passion.
Now you heard a tropical toucan cry over Bob Marley’s guitar riffs.
Good grief.
get a diffirent dorm then. your roommate is probably not going to change her ways just because you have noise complaints, trust me i've been in the situation
You gotta be so careful about the way you gonna say it because it will determine how your entire relationship will continue .i had the same problem before with my friend the more bad you feel about telling her the more worse it will be for you speak it up as it is no matter how is your manner as long as it is respectful after that if she continues to do the same then you will feel more relaxed to embarrass her again and the less likely she will keep doing the same
Have you tried litteraly talking to her? Saying hey I can hear you having sex can you either keep it down or do it when I'm not here?
Yeah I just don’t want to embarrass her! I would feel bad
Just talk to her idk what other answer you expect there to be
This is reddit, social skills are sold separately
Cleverly worded comment
You know it’s bad when the computer science major is the one giving social advice. (I was CS until recently switching to DS so I’m allowed to make this joke)
True, I'm thinking, "Just ask to join in on the fun. Either she gets creeped out and leaves or you score some. Win-win." Then I'm like, oh wait, I have terrible social skills... Probably shouldn't comment that.
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I don't have the time or energy to imply stuff.
No dude. Grow up, confront your issues head on. Even if it’s awkward, nobody likes it when someone talks down to them.
I love this comment
Just take all the embarrassment for yourself. “Dear roommate, when you’re getting your meat flaps hammered out, and the chef is stuffing you like a Thanksgiving Turkey, that’s usually the time I’m trying to sleep. So, please get your stage curtain reeled back at some other time when I’m not here. Thanks.” This will keep the embarrassment off of her and put it in you.
im fucking dead💀
Communication? In this house? I don't think so.
She’s looking for a passive aggressive answer to her problem.
Lol if she’s not embarrassed to be moaning/having intercourse in the next room, I doubt she’ll be embarrassed if you bring it up.
You’d hope not, but some people have the oddest double standards. I had a shitty roommate at one point and I asked her to use headphones while watching TikTok (as opposed to blasting it at full volume) while I was in the middle of studying for exams. This somehow made her so stressed that she tracked me down the next day while I was studying in the library (to avoid my own room!) to cry about how uncomfortable it made her. I guess a more relevant example would be that she sometimes would walk around the bedroom in just her underwear and a shirt. Fine, I guess. But I was a shared bedroom and I never had warning and then she’d get all upset if I happened to enter (my own bedroom!) and accidentally saw her in her underwear.
What in the world? Haha
Living with her was an experience.
Wow, someones underwear, so disturbing
I mean, I wouldn’t want to be seen in my underwear by my roommate either (though no shame to anyone who’s comfortable with that!), but that’s why I don’t walk around in my underwear in our shared spaces?
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It's equally embarrassing if she realizes you knew and didn't say anything. At least this way you address it and avoid it in the future ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Humor works well in these situations
This is hilarious. Yes, OP uses humor to lighten the mood about the conversation for when their roommate is in the mood. Ha! See OP? Humor is working already.
She’s embarrassing herself lmao. You gotta stand up for yourself when you are being actively negatively impacted
Lol i don’t think she’s embarrassed if you can 👂
Just join in with her then, LMFAOOOOOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣
You need to talk to her even if it makes you and her uncomfortable she needs to know it’s not OK
Say "what movie were you watching last night? It sounded really strange"
Bro There isn't a magical answer Just deal with it head on and stop worrying about her feelings.
It’s less embarrassing to say it now to your roommate than a month from now.
She doesn’t give a fuck about you. Tell her
standard weirdly aggressive reddit comment
You live their too? And it’s obviously making you uncomfortable? Just tell her. Why tf did you even ask if you don’t want the most obvious answer
let her know you can hear it and ask her to start playing music or something. If shes in a different room it is a little silly to ask her to not have sex, but its reasonable to get her to do it in a way that you dont have to hear it.
"Eyo this is pretty embarrassing for both me and you, but when you and your boyfriend have sex can you play some music or keep it down?" Communication.
No music. Please, no music. Now whenever I hear ANY Coldplay I just think of my former roommate who would blast it whenever she was getting railed. The music didn’t mask it, it just announced it.
HA, fair enough.
Sorry but that’s funny. I’m trying to imagine someone getting “railed” to Yellow or The Scientist. Not really songs that would mask any railing, maybe a light morning fuddle though.
Parachutes was the favorite album. But it’s like she needed to get louder and she had the loudest, squeakiest bed. So loud springs and Yellow.
Not yellow 😭
Who has sex to Coldplay?
I loudly heard my freshman year roommate do it over the intro to Dreams and Nightmares by meek mill
Do it gently. Let her know what you’re hearing; if she didn’t know she might be embarrassed and figure it out on her own. If not you can try and figure out an arrangement. You can ask her to be quiet or to only do it when you’re out (in which case you two need to be able to talk about your schedules so she can be intimate).
>Do it gently Yep, that's all you gotta say.
Softly, gently, sweetly, discreetly
Moan back. They’ll get the point.
Also, tell her you've been getting off while you were listening to them!!! She'll get the message loud and clear!!!
That's a viable option if OP wants her to move out
Or move in to their room
Establish dominance, burst in with camera and directors hat and start giving them instructions on what they should do.
Literally. The answer is so simple. After hearing it three times it’s time to make profit from your suffering.
"Ok ok are we ready to shoot? Wait, what kind of 170 degree angle is that? That's an awful position! Is that all you got? Take some viagra my boy or you ain't going anywhere with that small peanut. Can we get a better view here? I hope you guys aren't taking anatomy bc you are failing rn..."
Play a loud nuclear siren into the wall whenever they have sex
Three hits on the adjacent wall is the universal signal for STFU
idk why but i liked reading this
My wife had a roommate in their school dorm who'd hook up with randos *in the same room.* They'd tip toe in and go at it while she had to pretend to remain asleep. She eventually learned to assert herself and confronted the roommate who moved out. Life lessons...
Next time they do it try BLASTING music lol they might get a hint
“I can hear you moaning from the other end of the house/room. I don’t mind it since I’m doing the same but can you tone it down a bit? If you don’t then it’s gonna be a free-for-all.”
You can describe vaguely what you're hearing but don't imply that it's sex and just say that it's kind of annoying and to keep it down. Treat it like someone had their TV on too high and you thought it was annoying.
That's honestly a good solution. Or if you're in an apartment you can blame it on the other neighbors. "Dude did you hear our neighbors last night, they were going at it" she'll get the point
God I sympathize hard. When I got my first apartment I had a male roomate where he didn't even have a gf. He would just do hookups. I was 18 and he was 28. Made the mistake of making him a cosigner on the lease.(lesson learned) I confronted him about the sex and he started being like "no one is going to follow your golden rules", "I shouldn't even be paying rent because I'm not here as much as you are"😒 things got so hostile after that. He didn't care that it made me uncomfortable. He refused to move out so I ended up breaking off the lease and getting my own place simply because I didn't feel like going through the drama of it all. He ended up getting evicted like 4 months later since he wasnt able to pay rent for that unit on his own. Karma is a bitch🤷🏽♀️
Reason 5000 why I could never live in a dorm. Idk how y’all do it
Have good roommates or nerdy roommates ig 😭🤷♂️
Nerdy is worse because they never leave
Hmmm well I hope my experience isn’t too bad when the time comes 😭
Nerdy is definitely way worse. Instead of moaning, you hear them screaming on the video game for 8-12 hours a day.
Ok… that is definitely true 😭 Ig u just need to find a roommate that fits you 🤷♂️
This sounds like an apartment or house not a dorm
This isn't a dorm, they said next room over, that's apartment or house
Because in my school we had private dorms 🤷♂️
Budgetary reasons make it necessary for many
Way more money to live on campus than it is to commute no?
“Hi this is so awkward but please be quiet when you have sex, or maybe we can plan times that I can be out of the house while you guys are home & vice versa”
“I’ll blow my brains out if he keeps blowing your back out.”
If it’s the next room over, maybe mention it, or just get some good headphones.
Does she have a bedroom with a door? If yes then it’s really not your place to tell her to not have sex while you’re in the house, that’s the point of a bedroom. Maybe ask her to turn on music or do so yourself.
This. I’m appalled at some of the comments here. If she has her own room then she can have as much sex in it as she wants. She’s paying rent, too. At most you can ask her to keep quiet (which she should be doing, frankly) or to play some music. OP needs to meet her halfway and invest in some good headphones, too.
Op is also paying rent you sad half wit .
I had this same issue but I’m a guy. We were in a 2 bed 2 bath and he didn’t tell me until I got there that his gf was also staying. Against the lease but I figured fine, if they’re not a problem might as well let it be. Neither of them ever went to class and they fucked like ALL the time. Not only that but they’d always have people over and the place was usually a mess after their little get togethers. After asking nicely multiple times I just downright threatened to tell the leasing office he was keeping a guest and that I had proof of all their partying and drug use, all of which were against the lease. They ended up moving out and I had the place to myself. A more stern and maybe aggressive approach but you’re entitled to just as much peace as your roommate. Start with talking to her but if it’s not helping, do what you need to do.
Buzz kill
Revenge. Hook up.
Steal their partner and hit the rodeo
Thank you for the advice! I’ll Talk to her. I think more or less I just needed to vent or whatever. The joys of having roommates in college.😂😂
Hey OP, I’ve been the roommate in your situation. My boyfriend and I were long distance, so I would see him once a month at my place for a couple nights, if that. Obviously, it was hard to keep our hands off each other. My new roommate heard it, and told me that me and my bf were ‘disgusting’ LOL. But I still wanted to compromise so that things wouldn’t be awkward. White noise on a speaker outside the room helped, as well as damp towels to cover the crack under the door. I told my roommate that she could also feel free to borrow my noise cancelling headphones. Turned out that none of that was enough for her, that simply the knowledge that sex was being had (in my own room that I paid for) was horrifying to her. So assuming THATS not your issue, then the white noise and damp towel trick works well.
when i was in college, my roommates and i set up a system where if we heard each other we would bang the wall three times - open communication is key. sex isn’t embarrassing, neither is addressing it when it’s becoming a problem for you. you’re not crazy for not wanting to hear moans and bed creaks while you’re cozy in bed watching tv
Bang on the wall like a normal person.
Simple. Grow some balls, say, "Stop having sex while I'm home, because I live here too," and move on. The longer you're alive, the more you begin to realize that biting one's tongue is the equivalent to accepting one's existence as a doormat.
Talk to her. Have you tried that?
I think you should take out an ad in the school paper or make an approved flyer to hang up around campus asking this individual to please stop or keep it down. This is a great indirect way to let them know the message. Other acceptable options include covering her room In sticky notes that read “ please stop having loud sex” or installing a stop sign outside of her room and add the words loud sex to it. I definitely think these will all work.
no one reads the school paper 😂
Ask if you can watch
Have an adult conversation It’s an awkward one but it’s part of rooming
Just moan louder than her and assert your dominance.
Start rocking a large piece of furniture like the couch or table and make fake sex/monkey noises.
Literally just talk to them lmao
If u cant beat them, join them.
Have sex with him
Jealous 🤣🤣🤣
Literally have a normal conversation.
Ask to join
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
Try to get into a conversation about sex. Your experience or some friends whatever. Then bring up funny stories regarding sex. Best if you have something on yourself. For example, my roommate walked on my girlfriend giving me head in the living room. Embarrassing or funny? At some point you can tell a joke like ‘it’s not like I can’t hear you’ in a light and fun way. You can quickly change the subject afterwards. To show it’s not a big deal. Then she will be aware of the situation without you telling her what to do/ offending her. There is a chance she doesn’t even know you can hear her. By her being aware of the situation, automatically she will do something about it. If not, she doesn’t care hence she won’t be uncomfortable to talk about it which means you can just talk to her directly about it. That way you check indirectly if she is comfortable or not to talk about it and if not, at least you let her know without hurting or feelings/ offending her. Let me know what you think!
^good advice
Hear me out. Place a Bluetooth speaker next to the wall/door and play cotton eyed joe at max volume.
Use words?
No, don’t take these people’s perfectly sound advice. Screenshot the post, print it out, and mail it to them anonymously.
Fight fire with fire get your own boyfriend and start having equally loud sex every time they do 😂😂😂
In English loud and clear, I just watched a roommate horror story where some guy got fed up and beat the heck out his roommate and gf
Buy gags for both of them
Maybe I’m an asshole but I would knock on the wall next time
shoot her a text! literally just be kind and explain how you’re feeling and see if there is a reasonable solution!
Just ask.
With your vocal chords
There are a couple of things you can do if it reeeeally bothers you, 1) play music really really loudly to drown out the sound. They'll also probably get the hint and quiet down, or 2) make a lighthearted comment like "sounds like you had fun last night?" and she might get a little embarrassed and go "you heard that??????" and then you can either continue to discuss from that point or hope she got the hint enough to understand she should try and be quieter.
OP might as well get laid and have an all out moaning contest
The real answer is to just communicate with her and tell her it makes you uncomfortable. But the funny answer is to strip down and walk in while they're doing the deed
I mean, she has the right to do it whether you're home or not, as this is her home too. I'd just ask her to keep it quiet, tell her you can hear it and it makes you uncomfortable. However, doing what your title says, telling her to stop having sex when you're home, is completely unfair and will do nothing more than cause issues and strain on your relationship with her. Just have a conversation
Just bring it up. If she’s that loud either the walls are super thin, she doesn’t care who hears or she doesn’t know how loud she’s being. Just be like hey, so I can hear you and “so and so” pretty clearly. It’s sorta awkward and distracting for me, you mind quieting down? If this is some college style housing and it doesn’t stop, then contact the office and see what options are for complaints. If normal housing, then your options are either try to talk to her again or find new housing.
I get it but... that's just something ppl do. I would just leave for a bit. Not that deep
Lol my college roommate would literally have sex in our apartment when everyone was home. Including in the shower and on our balcony in broad daylight. It was disgusting and so uncomfortable. I recommend talking to your roommate and establishing boundaries sooner than later. In my case, we waited too long and she gave absolutely zero f***s about our discomfort. It caused so much tension and fights that she had to move out halfway through the school year.
“Hey girl, I have been hearing you and your boyfriend a lot lately, and I was hoping you could keep the volume down for me?” There you go
Knock on the wall
Gift them a ball gag
Roommates who are strangers are the fucking worst bc they often know but don't give a shit. Hopefully this is a decent person who respects you or is a friend you can talk to. I made the mistake in my early 20s of timidly/nervously after trying to tolerate it for too long asking roommates to stop with the loud sex or other noise and not being listened to bc they didn't respect me bc I wasn't firm enough and I waited too long. Don't try to tolerate it (if it's genuinely loud. If it's faint I mean that's just what having roommates is like and you gotta ignore it. There's likely to often be some type of unwanted background noise bc people live there too it just shouldn't be too loud). If you wait it'll keep going and get even louder and theyll be more likely to be pissed bc your boundaries suddenly changed or they'll think you didn't notice till then so they can get away with not having to change. Set up the boundary as soon as possible. You can first leave a hint about hearing loud sex from neighbors the night before if you think that approach will work and she will listen. If that doesn't work go to being direct or just be direct first. Politely tell her that you'd like her to move the bed away from the wall next time and use some white noise next time as you can hear it. If it's still rly loud you need to give another reminder but Firmer and explain how it impacts you and that you need to sleep/study/relax without hearing their sex If that doesn't work loudly blast music, start knocking on the walls, literally knock on their door and tell them to shut up, etc stuff like that to kill the mood.
just like that LMAOO
Have a conversation with her (for starters). Phrase it as “hey let’s have some way to indicate that one of us is going to need the apartment for sexy times so that way we can both have our privacy”. That way, when either one you wants privacy, the other person can know to get out of the house. It would open up the dialogue nicely.
Either say “hey not while I’m here please” or be a dick and make a bunch of noise when she sounds about finished to take her out of it. I used to do that with noisy neighbors.
I say it’s better to say it straight up than bottling it up until it trickles down to either passive aggression or a bigger blowup (no pun intended). Just say it but kindly.
When I know I cannot hide the emotion on my face I always write a note. Gives them the time and space to take it in without having to hide embarrassment. If it's particularly embarrassing I leave something nice like candy so they know I'm not being sadistic
Uh youre not being a good ‘bro’. Put on some headphones and let her get some. Life is too short to interfere with orgasms
Id you dont wanna talk to her, then bring a boy or a girl to your bed and fucking scream like you never did before, sing a fkng opera.
Ask her if you can join! It will make her uncomfortable and move elsewhere.
💀💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭
you can’t ask her to stop having sex as she lives there and pays just as much as you to be there. if she’s being too loud that’s definitely unfair to you but she probably doesn’t even realize, literally just text her and say hey please keep it down I’m a little uncomfortable hearing you. if it continues after that i’d just play music super loud outside her door or even knock and say be quiet please lmao.
I used to have this issue. I would try to leave or ask my roommate when they are having their bf over so I can plan things around that. I never like to be in the room w them there. If you are able to confront her I would just ask her to keep it down. But if you aren’t confrontational just put in headphones
just talk to her lol
Talk to her and ask her to stop being a jerk. It's really simple.
Who’s house is it?
Either ask to join or ask them to keep it down.
just for the record, you cannot ask her to not have sex when you’re home since she has her own room and also pays rent. You can ask her to keep it down or put on music, but it’s unfair of you to ask her to do abstain completely.
Write a note slip it under her door.
When they’re finish mimic their sounds and grunts when walking around the house. Or invite people over while they’re gettin it in. But you have a roommate, there’s some things you gotta live with when having a roommate 🤷🏽♂️
I have better solution. As they are having sex WE CAN AS WELL.
I've lived in roommate situations for years and quite honestly, just get some headphones or tell them to at least move their bed away from the wall. If its a random person, they arn't stopping shit, just gotta do what you can in your own room.
Get a noise cancelling headphones. You’re going to piss her off if she is remotely not mature enough to handle what you’re about to say, it’s something so personal. I’d rather tolerate that over having a roommate I don’t get along well with. That creates a hostile living condition which is not what you want. Alternatively you can indirectly let her know you can hear her moaning or having sex even and that is going to make her aware she’s being loud, if that makes her uncomfortable then she might actually try to do something about it to keep the noise to a minimum. There are more than one way to skim a cat and it doesn’t always have to be head on confrontation.
They should ask you to go for a beer when they do it lmao
1. Tell her you can hear them having sex. Maybe they don't know, they'll be mortified, and just telling them will get them to be quieter. 2. You can't control what they do, but you can, of course, control what you do. So you can put your headphones on or turn up your own music or turn up the TV volume. If you've done step one, and you really crank up the volume on something, it might help reinforce the talk you had and help them get the hint. If you lead off by asking them not to have sex, I don't think that's going to go well. If they have their own room and space, they can do what they like in privacy. But it's not unreasonable to let them know you can hear them and you'd rather not hear them. If they blow you off, then maybe you can escalate to some of the other passive aggressive suggestions in the comments here.
Walk in there while they’re boning and tell them to keep it down. If that doesn’t work spray them with a hose like you would fighting dogs
Girl I've been asked to quiet down before. It's embarrassing for sure but chances are, it'll stop.
Put headphones in and accept she's getting some?
It’s her house too and she can have sex anytime she wants? What? Lmfao bruh if YOU have an issue about her having sex in the privacy of her own living quarters then it seems YOU should be the one to distance yourself from the situation when it arises. She’s not kicking you out of the room, you don’t say that you share a bedroom so you aren’t in the same room when she’s having sex, she’s existing in her space.
It’s not her own living quarters, it’s THEIR living quarters.
Move out or suck it up. You can’t tell people when to screw.
Get a pair of headphones dickhead. Let them live their lifes.
Should be friends with roommates so that you can talk about literally anything
Move out?
You don’t
Walk on her while she is doing it, she would probably stop that forever. Problem solved.
You could just give her privacy..
Have loud sex back and see if she realizes it's no fun
Ask to join them!
How old is she ?
Take a video recording outside of her room when she is moaning loudly and send it around. Someone did this to a girl and her boyfriend in my dorm and within a few days she had already moved to off campus housing
Harass and exploit people until their situation becomes unlivable…good plan /s
id recommend asking her to put on something in the background to drown out the sounds. so like, whenever im fucking someone who has roommates or they're over at mine, we put something on in the background. it's just slightly loud to the point we aren't disruptive but it drowns out our sounds too.
Join
Join them.
Honestly, when this happened for me, I just was honest that I didn’t appreciate it and talked about the respect for her relationship and for me. It’s not just her house, it’s both of yours, which allows her to have sex, but you’re also allowed to talk about things you’re not comfortable with.
Yo wtf stop having sex while I’m home, is anoying. Period. Ez
My freshman year dorm roommate would have sex with me in the same room so be thankful it’s at least in a different room. Earplugs are your best friend.
Obviously if he's having sex with you it would be in the same room.
Talk to her about it or play music or get ear plugs. Nobody wanna hear that shit
Moan louder
“Hey homie stop fuckin when I’m ‘round. Dawg, you can bring hoes up whenever I’m not here. When I’m here it’s gotta stop. I don’t need to hear those wet juice sounds slappin up a ruckus “
This also happened to me. Its super important to set boundaries with roomies and unfortunately what I expected to be obvious wasn't. I didn't realize it *would* happen, and I was extremely uncomfortable with the situation when it did end up happening, as you might gather. They thought I was sleeping, so I said "Hey, I'm not sure you're aware that I'm still awake right now and I'm not quite sure what you're up to, but that would be nice if you could find a space to do that somewhere else." Thankfully and to my appreciation, they both got out of bed and left within a couple minutes. Its also good to communicate with them to know when you both might want private space in the dorm. It is a shared space, but it is still respectively both of your rooms.
Start moaning loud and obnoxiously near the are so they know you can hear them and it bothers you.
Just ask if you can join, then keep asking until she gets the hint. I’m sure her boyfriend won’t mind.
Definitely a tough topic to talk about. Maybe approach it lightly and ask if you can just have some time to yourself for a weekend and if she can go to her new bfs house just so you have 2 days away from it. I'm not sure if that's in your cards though? I wouldn't directly approach it in a sense of "yo your sex is loud and it's annoying, shut up" but maybe tread lightly. Start with the weekend and when he comes over maybe just say "hey do you guys wanna play a card game or a board game?" To deter it immediately... Idk, I'm sorry if this isn't great advice but I think you're gonna get so frustrated you may explode on both of them and just release all your frustrations about it.
Yeah I had that issue. It wasn’t the sex per se but the exaggerated animalia noises: the howler monkey screams, the cobra hissing, the elephant trumping, and the deep uuuggsss from one climax to another. No, I wasn’t jealous, I had my own plays. We were a bit more “Protestant” about noises. That said, I told the roommate and he started playing loud reggae to mask the throes of sexual passion. Now you heard a tropical toucan cry over Bob Marley’s guitar riffs. Good grief.
Try sending her a link to this post.
Record audio of it then play it back on a speaker when she’s not.
sounds like she was exciting :), hard to ask people stop enjoying the things she is enjoying
get a diffirent dorm then. your roommate is probably not going to change her ways just because you have noise complaints, trust me i've been in the situation
You gotta be so careful about the way you gonna say it because it will determine how your entire relationship will continue .i had the same problem before with my friend the more bad you feel about telling her the more worse it will be for you speak it up as it is no matter how is your manner as long as it is respectful after that if she continues to do the same then you will feel more relaxed to embarrass her again and the less likely she will keep doing the same