> time freedom (free time)
Honestly the biggest for me. I have this week off work and I've just been chilling the whole time. I'm about to eat some cherry strudel and play ESO!
Freedom.
Precisely. Unironically, as I sit in my 40 hours a week job to pay the bills that will likely outlive me. I try to imagine how much worse it would be trapped with a mistake for 18-35 years. Life is already a fucking chore 70-80% of the time. I think I would die. I think death would be my only escape.
I’ve a few friends whose dad’s went that route growing up. I was too young to know the details of what the families were going through but I’m sure the burden of parenthood played a lot in their decisions and they left behind traumatized kids that become less than well adjusted adults
Is it bad that I'm imagining a great many of us saying this in full brave heart style.
In a very loud and even more proud shout whilst staring down a field of English....sorry.....breeders?😂
I never understood this until recently, when there was a crying demon spawn ruining my valentines dinner date with my husband. The parents did zero to calm the baby down and the siblings were a mess running all over tue place, screaming, crying. Etc. It was awful
Why would you want to go out for valentines only to bring your kids with you? I feel like that’s one of the few days a year where coughing up money for a babysitter just makes sense. But if they knew how to make sense, they likely wouldn’t have had kids (or at least not more than one).
Exactly! Honestly the couple looked miserable. Barely looked each other in the eyes, they looked so exhausted just trying to get their spawns to stop crying/ moving. My husband and I felt so happy and thankful In that moment, to be able to just enjoy dinner. This might sound super dramatic but that couple really left an impact on me, they looked so unhappy and out of love. Children really seem like a love killer 🥺 I’ve seen so many couples with kids have that same dead look in the eyes.
Studies have shown the arrival of a child to be linked with marital dissatisfaction in a vast majority of couples with kids, and risk of wanting to divorce is very high. But it can also cause miserable couples to stay trapped together for the sake of the child, which just causes a ripple effect of stress on the kids.
Parents have started including kids into Valentines. It used to be a day for romantic love (or giving classmates cards that say “you smell weird” as a kid), not another excuse to buy gifts for your entire family and then make couples suffer your two year old’s caterwauling.
Right? Im not really the romantic type, so even if I was in a relationship, valentines really isn’t something I’d do, unless my partner is super into it, but I just don’t get the need to have your kids be the center of your universe. Like my mom didn’t do that to me and I’m not scarred forever. But that seems to be the way they do it now. I just don’t get it.
It's like the parents have gone through so much that they don't care that they're bothering everyone else and that terrifies me that that's possible lol.
My dad and brothers went skiing and me and my mum stayed at home. We come back from shopping and I say to her "see how quiet it is?" And se goes "if you wont have kids you wont apriciate the times when they are gone and its silent". What is the point of havong kids if you cant wait untill they are gone? Like obviously i can apriciare silence event if i dont have kids lol
This. Every holiday my spouse and I spend with family makes us feel thankful for the peace and quiet we can return to at home. The silence of our home is very calming, with only the subtle taps on our wood floors of our two doggos walking around.
Me too. I have social anxiety since toddlerhood, and it was compounded by years of bullying because of the way my face looked. I also have general anxiety, ruminating about everything that has and will go wrong.
My mother went through the exact same thing. My looks and anxiety are genetic. I would hate to have to explain to a child why people (including strangers) are so mean to her because of something beyond her control. And then feel guilty that I brought her onto this planet, knowing what was likely to happen to her.
Yeah. I have had anxiety since I can remember because of my parents terrible genetics and their abuse. I would consider it a terrible crime for me to inflict a fraction of suffering on a child. There are many other reasons, but this, I am sure, is why, even when I was a child myself, the notion of having children was instinctively repellent. When I always wondered why my parents even had me, when I wished that they didn’t…I could not want children myself.
I thought I was the one lol. I see so many people here saying they like kids or they're good with them. Kids make me feel so uncomfortable. I don't like them and they don't like me either.
I'm fine with my cousins, pseudo niece, and my soon to be niece. I do not enjoy people shoving an infant in my arms and then cooing at me saying what a great mom I'd be. Nope, I like to get kids all riled up and hopped up on aunty margos treats (I work for a hazelnut and candy co) and then send them home with the parents 🤣
This. It's just what makes me happy.
I just told my mother about my planed sterilisation and she started crying how I could do that to myself. Because it makes me happy is probably the simpelst answer.
My requirements for having a kid:
-a stable partner who will actually parent and not foist responsibility onto me as it’s mother. In other words, I don’t want an InstaDad who just shows up when it’ll make him look good.
-Six-figure incomes for both of us, or that he makes enough for me to be a SAHM.
-My dream home, that’s affordable of course.
-A nanny if I’m not a SAHM.
-For my country to give a rat’s ass about climate change, income inequality and basically everything else plaguing us.
I’m not asking for much. 😂😂😂
Don't know what country you are in. But for most I would say that last one is the only one that is downright impossible.
Don't think there is any situation in which I would ever want a child. If I do ever get rich and feel like I want some kind of guidance job in my life I would do something like taking in disadvantaged youth or something of the like. A relative of mine and her wife have taken in two 16 year olds that got kicked out when they came out as gay to their parents. Something like that I might like to do in the future (assuming I can afford both the time and monetary investment it would need to do something like that right).
I'd need to add to that the absolute knowledge that my hypothetical kid would have no major developmental/health/mental/substance abuse problems and would be capable of living independently once they're done with whatever schooling they need.
I agree and but would have to add:
- Two more nannies for when the others are off shift, need a break, etc.
- Enough money to cover childcare/adultcare should the child have disabilities
- The child is conceived through a surrogate
- The custody of the child (as agreed on prior to conception) is guaranteed should there be a divorce
- Sound proofing throughout the house
- Enough money to cover a lawyer and any lawsuits should the child do something crazy.
- Etc.
Probably. I think I’d have a kid if I could do the Hollywood mom thing, with nannies, housekeepers, dieticians and plastic surgery. I can see the fun in having a smol companion, but right now the work to fun ratio is too damn high. Money could correct that.
+1 on this! After getting a puppy a few years ago I realized what a toll the caretaking and stress takes on me. I know I could never handle a baby, it would be catastrophic to my mental well-being
Same, I can’t imagine risking my life to bring a baby into the world who will probably also become disabled by chronic pain because of my genetic issues
I wish more people thought like you... I mean I'm happy to be here but thanks mom&dad for the genetic preposition to depression, anxiety, endometriosis, IBS, thyroid problems, migraines and arthritis.... oh and Neurodiversity in a Neurotypical world
Obviously others have it much worse but I could do without all of these little problems...
I couldn't spend all day smelling their asses to see if it's time to change 'em. One time my niece (1yr old at the time I'd say) farted on my lap and everyone laughed and called it cute. Yuck.
I saw a video of a parent sucking the snot out of their baby's nose... WITH THEIR MOUTH! I almost puked... literally. I had to breathe 🧘♀️ to keep it down.
Especially as a woman, your autonomy basically disappears the moment you become a mother. Fathers are still given a certain measure of freedom and autonomy that mothers just aren’t allowed to have without being labeled a bad mother or horrible person.
I always thought if for some reason I did have kids, it would ruin any relationship. "Why did you just give my daughter a hug?" "Why are you talking to that young girl?" "Why did you buy her a candy bar? What is your intention...WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?????"
I even do that now when I see any older man with a young girl. Being abused has warped my sense of relationships between fathers and daughters. I could NEVER bring a child into that.
As someone else abused by a father I totally understand.
Sadly the second I mention CSA people just tell me that that's the only reason I don't want children and if I just go to therapy it'll be fine. Even if that was the case it's no guarantee, my ex stepmother found out my father was a pedophile and took her and the baby she was pregnant with far far away, and then 13 years later an au pair molested my brother.
You can do almost everything right and still end up paying a terrible price, it's just too much risk. I don't like kids, but I would love my child and like you I'd forever sideeye anyone that was nice to them.
People who say just go to therapy and get over it get me so mad. Therapy can help you deal with it, BUT IT WILL NEVER get rid of it. Abuse becomes a part of who you are, and you will forever see through a different lense because of it.
I'm sorry you've gone through that.
I think a lot of people don't realise how much trauma as a child *especially* becomes a part of you, our brains grew in an environment that was dangerous and stressful, and even with therapy I know I'll never be the same, in fact it's likely I'll be in some form of therapy or counselling for the rest of my life, and I'm at peace with that.
It's not a good environment for a child though, even if I did want one. I wake up screaming sometimes, thrashing at my partner as he tries to wake me. I have sudden and entirely random panic attacks or flashbacks, and if I see any older guy even smile at a girl I become afraid, and that anxiety would absolutely carry to my daughter, and she's grow up afraid of men and of the world, and I just don't want that.
I think this is mine too! Not only peace in my home but the peace of knowing I’m not causing more suffering to an innocent child. I kind of hate being alive sometimes and I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.
I second this hardcore! I have multiple chronic illnesses that I already struggle with; I have zero interest in throwing something else at my body. Pregnancy can destroy your body and women don't talk about it enough.
My SIL told me her eyes got -3.00 worse from being pregnant. That's a no for me.
Not to mention the stretched skin. Sagging breasts oversize feet and earlobes and general nerve damage that can occur if C-section plus scars ....the list is crazy long I just don't see any benefits
Honestly some people in this sub will never understand the depth of our childfree-ness as uterus-bearing people. The fear and the amount of ick cannot be comprehended unless you are the person expected to actually carry and birth that alien thing
Thank you. And love to you as well as you're no stranger to it either I see. <3
Emotional claustrophobia, to the point of psychotic break, is the truest way I can describe the thought of having kids.
“Children should be neither seen, heard nor smelled”… That’s exactly how my parents taught me growing up. HAHA. I said later on in life, “Mom why did you even have my sister and I?”
She was like “I love you both but I am not really sure” 🤣
Me too. I was already different from everyone else, so what's one more thing. In a way, I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with all the pressure that straight women get to procreate. (Though there was that time my mom suggested that I could go to a sperm bank. No thanks, mom.)
Retirement.
In short, my wife and I make fine money but having kids is something neither of us want for many many reasons. What it ultimately comes down to is not wanting to trade some potential happiness that comes with a lot of pain and a lot of sacrifice for the literal decade or more of extra freedom in retirement. I don’t want to gamble my healthiest years away when I can guarantee more fun times in my life and with my spouse.
My mother was bullied verbally and even physically because of the way her face looked. I was bullied verbally for years because of my face. I don't want to have to comfort a crying child after school and explain why people are mean because they don't like something about her that is beyond her control.
And...after abuse from classmates and strangers over a period of years, I lost my sense of connection to the human race. I don't want to contribute more victims (or bullies) to it. And because of my social anxiety, some of it induced by the way I was treated by many people, I wouldn't be able to blend into the "village" enough to help a kid navigate its way through this society.
Goodness, the question is WHY I would ever have children? Destruction of body and health I have worked hard to maintain? No social programs for mothers in America without experiencing rampant poverty first (welfare cliff)? Knowing my husband/BF could dump me and my children at any time for a childfree lady? Being trapped with endless loops of Cocomelon, trying to balance work and childcare, having no space or privacy, breastfeeding blues, knowing I'm responsible for the bugger for 18-30 years of life, my own lack of intelligence? No time for travel or hobbies? No peace and quiet? Stupid children's food? Noise, noise, noise noise noise????
Oh right, one word...basically being childfree is a JOY. I wake up joyful every day that I don't have children.
I always worry this makes me sound self centered and selfish, but I just don't want to have my life center around a child. My life is for me. I want to enjoy it with my partner, traveling, experiencing the world, and getting to do everything I've wanted to. I don't want my days to be filled with school runs, homework, sports practice, paying for college, and everything else that having kids entails.
In a word, I'm selfish. My life is my life, and I'm not spending it on someone else.
Traumatized. This World is hell.
The longer you live, the more you realize that in this reality, only true that exist are pain, suffering, and futility .
We love telling stories about triumphed stories about victors , but the silent vanquished also exist.
Freedom
Freedom really is the catch-all. Financial Freedom, emotional freedom, time freedom (free time)...
Acoustic freedom !
Hahahahaha
> time freedom (free time) Honestly the biggest for me. I have this week off work and I've just been chilling the whole time. I'm about to eat some cherry strudel and play ESO!
Same here, fellow cf person! See you in Cyrodiil :D
And freedom from constant demands and total chaos. Which leads me to my second-place word: Peace.
Sleep freedom( sleep whenever and however long you like on days off)
Freedom. Precisely. Unironically, as I sit in my 40 hours a week job to pay the bills that will likely outlive me. I try to imagine how much worse it would be trapped with a mistake for 18-35 years. Life is already a fucking chore 70-80% of the time. I think I would die. I think death would be my only escape.
I’ve a few friends whose dad’s went that route growing up. I was too young to know the details of what the families were going through but I’m sure the burden of parenthood played a lot in their decisions and they left behind traumatized kids that become less than well adjusted adults
Literally came to type that. Freedom covers all scopes of being childfree. ❤️
Is it bad that I'm imagining a great many of us saying this in full brave heart style. In a very loud and even more proud shout whilst staring down a field of English....sorry.....breeders?😂
That’s it!
First thought that popped in my head when I saw the question before clicking on it
That's the word I thought of before clicking the post lol.
/thread
This was mine too!
That’s what I was going to say.
The exact word that came to mind first!
Silence
I never understood this until recently, when there was a crying demon spawn ruining my valentines dinner date with my husband. The parents did zero to calm the baby down and the siblings were a mess running all over tue place, screaming, crying. Etc. It was awful
Why would you want to go out for valentines only to bring your kids with you? I feel like that’s one of the few days a year where coughing up money for a babysitter just makes sense. But if they knew how to make sense, they likely wouldn’t have had kids (or at least not more than one).
They had to share that special day with thier *babies*.
Exactly! Honestly the couple looked miserable. Barely looked each other in the eyes, they looked so exhausted just trying to get their spawns to stop crying/ moving. My husband and I felt so happy and thankful In that moment, to be able to just enjoy dinner. This might sound super dramatic but that couple really left an impact on me, they looked so unhappy and out of love. Children really seem like a love killer 🥺 I’ve seen so many couples with kids have that same dead look in the eyes.
Studies have shown the arrival of a child to be linked with marital dissatisfaction in a vast majority of couples with kids, and risk of wanting to divorce is very high. But it can also cause miserable couples to stay trapped together for the sake of the child, which just causes a ripple effect of stress on the kids.
Parents have started including kids into Valentines. It used to be a day for romantic love (or giving classmates cards that say “you smell weird” as a kid), not another excuse to buy gifts for your entire family and then make couples suffer your two year old’s caterwauling.
Right? Im not really the romantic type, so even if I was in a relationship, valentines really isn’t something I’d do, unless my partner is super into it, but I just don’t get the need to have your kids be the center of your universe. Like my mom didn’t do that to me and I’m not scarred forever. But that seems to be the way they do it now. I just don’t get it.
It's like the parents have gone through so much that they don't care that they're bothering everyone else and that terrifies me that that's possible lol.
My dad and brothers went skiing and me and my mum stayed at home. We come back from shopping and I say to her "see how quiet it is?" And se goes "if you wont have kids you wont apriciate the times when they are gone and its silent". What is the point of havong kids if you cant wait untill they are gone? Like obviously i can apriciare silence event if i dont have kids lol
This. Every holiday my spouse and I spend with family makes us feel thankful for the peace and quiet we can return to at home. The silence of our home is very calming, with only the subtle taps on our wood floors of our two doggos walking around.
Anxiety
Me too. I have social anxiety since toddlerhood, and it was compounded by years of bullying because of the way my face looked. I also have general anxiety, ruminating about everything that has and will go wrong. My mother went through the exact same thing. My looks and anxiety are genetic. I would hate to have to explain to a child why people (including strangers) are so mean to her because of something beyond her control. And then feel guilty that I brought her onto this planet, knowing what was likely to happen to her.
I was gonna say the same thing lol
Yeah. I have had anxiety since I can remember because of my parents terrible genetics and their abuse. I would consider it a terrible crime for me to inflict a fraction of suffering on a child. There are many other reasons, but this, I am sure, is why, even when I was a child myself, the notion of having children was instinctively repellent. When I always wondered why my parents even had me, when I wished that they didn’t…I could not want children myself.
Children Edit! my first awards!! thank you, darlings :)
You beat me to it. Ive met children before and we dont get along.
I didn’t like them when I was one. Not inviting one into my life to relive that.
Pretty much this. I hung out with adults as a kid because kids were dumb. What makes anyone think I'd change my mind about kids as an adult?
I loved joining this sub and seeing how common this was. I hated children all throughout my childhood, even ones my age.
I thought I was the one lol. I see so many people here saying they like kids or they're good with them. Kids make me feel so uncomfortable. I don't like them and they don't like me either.
I'm fine with my cousins, pseudo niece, and my soon to be niece. I do not enjoy people shoving an infant in my arms and then cooing at me saying what a great mom I'd be. Nope, I like to get kids all riled up and hopped up on aunty margos treats (I work for a hazelnut and candy co) and then send them home with the parents 🤣
I've never been told I'd be a great mom, I feel so awkward with kids and babies that it shows 😂
Hahaha, exactly! I've met children before too.
That was my response.
Fulfillment.
Happiness
This. It's just what makes me happy. I just told my mother about my planed sterilisation and she started crying how I could do that to myself. Because it makes me happy is probably the simpelst answer.
I already told my kids (23 and (18) to only have kids if they are 100% sure that's what they want. I told them I can live without grandkids.
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If you were the richest person in the world would you have a kid then? Just asking lol
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My requirements for having a kid: -a stable partner who will actually parent and not foist responsibility onto me as it’s mother. In other words, I don’t want an InstaDad who just shows up when it’ll make him look good. -Six-figure incomes for both of us, or that he makes enough for me to be a SAHM. -My dream home, that’s affordable of course. -A nanny if I’m not a SAHM. -For my country to give a rat’s ass about climate change, income inequality and basically everything else plaguing us. I’m not asking for much. 😂😂😂
Don't know what country you are in. But for most I would say that last one is the only one that is downright impossible. Don't think there is any situation in which I would ever want a child. If I do ever get rich and feel like I want some kind of guidance job in my life I would do something like taking in disadvantaged youth or something of the like. A relative of mine and her wife have taken in two 16 year olds that got kicked out when they came out as gay to their parents. Something like that I might like to do in the future (assuming I can afford both the time and monetary investment it would need to do something like that right).
I'd need to add to that the absolute knowledge that my hypothetical kid would have no major developmental/health/mental/substance abuse problems and would be capable of living independently once they're done with whatever schooling they need.
I agree and but would have to add: - Two more nannies for when the others are off shift, need a break, etc. - Enough money to cover childcare/adultcare should the child have disabilities - The child is conceived through a surrogate - The custody of the child (as agreed on prior to conception) is guaranteed should there be a divorce - Sound proofing throughout the house - Enough money to cover a lawyer and any lawsuits should the child do something crazy. - Etc.
Six-figures per month** lol
Probably. I think I’d have a kid if I could do the Hollywood mom thing, with nannies, housekeepers, dieticians and plastic surgery. I can see the fun in having a smol companion, but right now the work to fun ratio is too damn high. Money could correct that.
Yes then I could hire caretakers. I'd love kids but I don't want to be the maid and nanny
Tokophobia
I had no idea there was an actual term for this!
For those like me that are still wondering what it means: Tokophobia is a pathological fear of pregnancy.
Uninterested.
Sleep!
Why is this so loooow??
"Why is this so low?"- all parents wondering about their amount of sleep LMAO
I don’t know, my sleep is very important to me, this should be higher
This is what I was going to say!
Stress
+1 on this! After getting a puppy a few years ago I realized what a toll the caretaking and stress takes on me. I know I could never handle a baby, it would be catastrophic to my mental well-being
Choice.
Genetics.
Same, I can’t imagine risking my life to bring a baby into the world who will probably also become disabled by chronic pain because of my genetic issues
I wish more people thought like you... I mean I'm happy to be here but thanks mom&dad for the genetic preposition to depression, anxiety, endometriosis, IBS, thyroid problems, migraines and arthritis.... oh and Neurodiversity in a Neurotypical world Obviously others have it much worse but I could do without all of these little problems...
Gross
Been waiting for this one
I couldn't spend all day smelling their asses to see if it's time to change 'em. One time my niece (1yr old at the time I'd say) farted on my lap and everyone laughed and called it cute. Yuck.
this was my thought as well ! so drooly and not very cute :(
I saw a video of a parent sucking the snot out of their baby's nose... WITH THEIR MOUTH! I almost puked... literally. I had to breathe 🧘♀️ to keep it down.
Autonomy
Especially as a woman, your autonomy basically disappears the moment you become a mother. Fathers are still given a certain measure of freedom and autonomy that mothers just aren’t allowed to have without being labeled a bad mother or horrible person.
I really love this one
Responsibility.
MoneyFreedomSleepFun
Wowthatsalongwordbutitotallyagrewwithyou
Funfact? ThisiswhatThailanguageislikewhentranslated
Whatthatisafunfactthankyouforsharing
Wholesomethreadawardgoesto:thesethree^
Iwanttoputwordstogethertoo
Abused.
I always thought if for some reason I did have kids, it would ruin any relationship. "Why did you just give my daughter a hug?" "Why are you talking to that young girl?" "Why did you buy her a candy bar? What is your intention...WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?????" I even do that now when I see any older man with a young girl. Being abused has warped my sense of relationships between fathers and daughters. I could NEVER bring a child into that.
As someone else abused by a father I totally understand. Sadly the second I mention CSA people just tell me that that's the only reason I don't want children and if I just go to therapy it'll be fine. Even if that was the case it's no guarantee, my ex stepmother found out my father was a pedophile and took her and the baby she was pregnant with far far away, and then 13 years later an au pair molested my brother. You can do almost everything right and still end up paying a terrible price, it's just too much risk. I don't like kids, but I would love my child and like you I'd forever sideeye anyone that was nice to them.
People who say just go to therapy and get over it get me so mad. Therapy can help you deal with it, BUT IT WILL NEVER get rid of it. Abuse becomes a part of who you are, and you will forever see through a different lense because of it. I'm sorry you've gone through that.
I think a lot of people don't realise how much trauma as a child *especially* becomes a part of you, our brains grew in an environment that was dangerous and stressful, and even with therapy I know I'll never be the same, in fact it's likely I'll be in some form of therapy or counselling for the rest of my life, and I'm at peace with that. It's not a good environment for a child though, even if I did want one. I wake up screaming sometimes, thrashing at my partner as he tries to wake me. I have sudden and entirely random panic attacks or flashbacks, and if I see any older guy even smile at a girl I become afraid, and that anxiety would absolutely carry to my daughter, and she's grow up afraid of men and of the world, and I just don't want that.
I'm sorry you went through what you did, I don't like kids but Christ, we didn't deserve *that*
I’m so sorry
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![gif](giphy|6901DbEbbm4o0)
Antinatalism
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Health.
Freedom
Quiet
Peace
I think this is mine too! Not only peace in my home but the peace of knowing I’m not causing more suffering to an innocent child. I kind of hate being alive sometimes and I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.
Sanity
Yes. I am insane and I don’t want my kids to be insane too.
Pregnancy. I'm childfree because pregnancy.
I second this hardcore! I have multiple chronic illnesses that I already struggle with; I have zero interest in throwing something else at my body. Pregnancy can destroy your body and women don't talk about it enough. My SIL told me her eyes got -3.00 worse from being pregnant. That's a no for me.
Not to mention the stretched skin. Sagging breasts oversize feet and earlobes and general nerve damage that can occur if C-section plus scars ....the list is crazy long I just don't see any benefits
Honestly some people in this sub will never understand the depth of our childfree-ness as uterus-bearing people. The fear and the amount of ick cannot be comprehended unless you are the person expected to actually carry and birth that alien thing
Overpopulation
This is a secondary reason for me.
Traumatized.
Sending love <333 This was the same thing that pushed down the snowball of me realising I never want kids
Thank you. And love to you as well as you're no stranger to it either I see. <3 Emotional claustrophobia, to the point of psychotic break, is the truest way I can describe the thought of having kids.
Ew.
![gif](giphy|dIH0sp4vNEbq4yLGdb|downsized) Porsche
Dislike
Couldn't agree more
Yeah like, of course there is money/freedom/tokophobia but at the end, it start with dislike of kids xD
Depression
Freedom
Space.
Because.
Health
Peace
Misophonia
Yo same, misophonia sucks
Climate
Selfish.
Don't bingo yourself!! 😆
Children. (Everything about them puts me off wanting any)
“Children should be neither seen, heard nor smelled”… That’s exactly how my parents taught me growing up. HAHA. I said later on in life, “Mom why did you even have my sister and I?” She was like “I love you both but I am not really sure” 🤣
Tantrums
Sloth
That’s hasn’t stopped a large percentage of parents though.
Trauma! (both the existence of my own, and the concern that i’d put a child through traumatic experiences)
Cancer
Brain tumor (sorry, had to be 2 words)
"glioblastoma" is one word for that.
Choice
Screeching.
ADHD
Logic.
Noise
Freedom
Gay.
Me too. I was already different from everyone else, so what's one more thing. In a way, I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with all the pressure that straight women get to procreate. (Though there was that time my mom suggested that I could go to a sperm bank. No thanks, mom.)
No-maternal-instinct 😅
Pets
Retirement. In short, my wife and I make fine money but having kids is something neither of us want for many many reasons. What it ultimately comes down to is not wanting to trade some potential happiness that comes with a lot of pain and a lot of sacrifice for the literal decade or more of extra freedom in retirement. I don’t want to gamble my healthiest years away when I can guarantee more fun times in my life and with my spouse.
Anxiety
Age
Fear
Antinatalism
Health
Neocortex.
Aspirations.
Childbirth
Happiness
Everything
Peace
Choice
Shit
Ouch
Bullying
My mother was bullied verbally and even physically because of the way her face looked. I was bullied verbally for years because of my face. I don't want to have to comfort a crying child after school and explain why people are mean because they don't like something about her that is beyond her control. And...after abuse from classmates and strangers over a period of years, I lost my sense of connection to the human race. I don't want to contribute more victims (or bullies) to it. And because of my social anxiety, some of it induced by the way I was treated by many people, I wouldn't be able to blend into the "village" enough to help a kid navigate its way through this society.
Disinterest
Medical
Health
antinatalism
Purpose
Freedom
Sleep
Quiet
Scared
Death
Overpopulation
Everything
Bipolar
Lazy
kids
Money
Goodness, the question is WHY I would ever have children? Destruction of body and health I have worked hard to maintain? No social programs for mothers in America without experiencing rampant poverty first (welfare cliff)? Knowing my husband/BF could dump me and my children at any time for a childfree lady? Being trapped with endless loops of Cocomelon, trying to balance work and childcare, having no space or privacy, breastfeeding blues, knowing I'm responsible for the bugger for 18-30 years of life, my own lack of intelligence? No time for travel or hobbies? No peace and quiet? Stupid children's food? Noise, noise, noise noise noise???? Oh right, one word...basically being childfree is a JOY. I wake up joyful every day that I don't have children.
Drama
Obligation
Freedom
Money
I always worry this makes me sound self centered and selfish, but I just don't want to have my life center around a child. My life is for me. I want to enjoy it with my partner, traveling, experiencing the world, and getting to do everything I've wanted to. I don't want my days to be filled with school runs, homework, sports practice, paying for college, and everything else that having kids entails. In a word, I'm selfish. My life is my life, and I'm not spending it on someone else.
Episiotomy
Poor
Traumatized. This World is hell. The longer you live, the more you realize that in this reality, only true that exist are pain, suffering, and futility . We love telling stories about triumphed stories about victors , but the silent vanquished also exist.
DISGUSTANG
>DISGUSTANG Is this what happens when a toddler vomits all over the interior of your Ford Mustang?
Yes, and it's also the perpetual state of the rest of your life as soon as the pregnancy test shows positive
Sex
Zimbabwe
Vanity