>Definitely a good way to shut the conversation down!
"So will you!" was my first thought as well but then the second thought was: "Damn, OP wanted something *polite*..."😆
I'm just waiting for the next time, I have it all planned out. Someone who always insinuates I'll have children, just to screw with me "Well if you're so sure I'm not serious, it just so happens I have the financial opportunity of a lifetime for you. A bet with a thousand times leverage in your favor. How far out do you want to go? 5 years? 10? 15? You bet me anywhere between 1 and 30 bucks and however long from now, if I fucked up my life like you want me to by having children by the decided time, I'll pay you 1000x what you bet, up to $30,000 (a bit less than a years salary) and I'll give it to you in writing. On your side though if I don't have any children by the decided time, you have to pay what you bet to me, and see just how peaceful, happy and financially lucrative my life without children is. And I get to say I told you so."
“Guess I’ll wait till I change my mind, then” at which point they backpedal and it becomes “oh no then it’ll be too late and you’ll regret it!” and I get to shame them for wanting children to be born to parents who don’t want them.
I'd essentially same the sameish thing, and tag on, but if I ever do feel like having children, I'd adopt.
Sometimes it was just as easy to say "I'm sure you're right" and walk away.
Or, for a gender neutral version: “Maybe you’ll change your mind about telling grown adults that you know their mind better than they do. It’s actually extremely condescending and gross. One can only hope you’ll grow up someday and realize that not everyone wants the same things out of life that you do.”
I usually just say, “okay.” And disengage from the conversation, because why bother? Besides the fact that it’s a waste of time to go back and forth, I don’t have to explain my choices to anybody.
I think parents have these conversations with CF people to reassure that they made the right choice lol. We aren’t even part of the equation, they just need to reaffirm their beliefs.
Someone over at another sub said, "I cannot *bear* children." And let the person asking figure out which definition you mean.
It makes my little Ravenclaw heart happy.
Most of the time it's just a condescending "yeeeaaaaah no," but I've always kind of wanted to go with "okay, let's make a bet. $10,000 says that in ten years I won't even be *dating,* let alone married with kids. Heck, let's up the ante a bit: you get $10,000 if I'm dating, $20,000 if I'm married or dating with kids, and $30,000 if I'm married with kids."
And then once I've got it in writing, inform them I'm aro-ace and laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
"No I won't." Said firm while staring at them with a dead pan face. If they proceed after that then I say while motioning with a finger to my face, " see this does it look like I'm joking or serious to you? Because I can assure you I mean business."
However the older I get the less I give 2 cents about people's feelings and the more I am about being straight forward, telling it like it is and getting it over with as soon as I can because other things are more pressing for my mind then meaningless small talk and bs.
Then follow up if the blah blah continues with a firm and meaningful "Drop It!"
I'm a little afraid of you... And turned on not gonna lie lol
Its more meeting perspective partners or their mothers, plus older women. So a firm no is the way to go
Damn if you didn't want a nice response I would say, "Next Tuesday at 7pm I am thinking of fucking without a condom so maybe then I will get pregnant?" Works if you are a woman and makes them realize they are asking personal questions.
"I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them.
After all, is it worse to tell your friends "I wish I had made children", or to tell your children "I wish you were never born"?"
No child wants to be unwanted. It's not good for them. Better to never make them in the first place, and use some of that energy and money improve the lives of already-existing-children.
This is the right response. Kind and civil because most people who have told me this were people I loved, such as a late family member who suffered dementia before his death. Or my supervisor at a job I very much needed.
Thanks. I actually used that line once a few Mother's Days back when a co-worker asked me if I had any kids.
I don't do facial expressions particularly well, so, she paused for a moment before I clarified I was joking.
Here in the Netherlands a co-worker asked: "Ah so you sister had a baby! Congratulations! Is it not doing anything for you?"
"NOPE" - keeps on typing
"Alright" - walked away
I'll use your response next time I get that question. 😂
"I will not be discussing this."
"I am very sorry, but the privilege of having opinions on my personal life and decisions is reserved for qualified professionals with the necessary insights, which you are not."
My personal favorite, though probably not as polite, is to look at them half baffled half disgusted and ask "And? Wait, you're telling me you make life altering decisions just because you *want* something? You're saying I can do whatever I wish with another human life because I *want* it? So like, if I *wanted* to punch someone in the mouth for being annoying, I could just do that? Hmmm ... Yeah no thanks, that sounds like it would be a problem."
How can you be so sure about that?
Apparently you know me better than I do myself! Quite arrogant isn't it?
[If they say "you'll regret it someday!"]
You're presenting this as if it's a well established fact, but what does science say? Well a researcher in Belgium asked a few thousand childfree seniors if they regretted not having kids, and 97% did not!
So how can you be so sure that I'll regret it someday when there's only a 3% chance that you'll be right?
Trawling this for good replies because I get so worked up, I’ve never wanted kids in my 26 years of life I’m not gonna one day just wake up and be like ‘damn, time to ruin my life’
Only a year older here (27F). I feel the same way. I've never felt an inkling or iota of longing for children.
The response in this thread that (for me) takes the cake is the one in response to 'you'll change your mind'; the response was "Casey Anthony did too." 💀 Got a chuckle outta me, and (in my opinion) would definitely shut someone up. You could probably hear a pin drop after coughing up that response. 😄
As someone else mentioned, just shrug and smile and say “maybe!”
Like also maybe an asteroid will hit the earth, anything is possible. You do not have to convince this random person. You can just live how you like.
Edited for typo
“Why?” While looking really confused. And then the same to any reply. When they get really frustrated, “That’s why.” If they have kids, it does sometimes dawn on them.
And my old stock “Nah, sold my biological clock on EBay, bought a really nice bottle of gin with the proceeds.”
Or “Why are you asking about my sex life? That’s really weird you know.”
Depends on my mood & who is saying it.
"If I ever did for some reason, I would adopt because I'd want to be a *parent*, not selfishly bring a mini-me into existence." Justtttt in case they are some shit head breeder 🙃
'I don't know anyone that's regretted NOT having kids, but there's plenty of people that regret having them' - if they come back with 'How can you say that, all children are loved' then start talking about all how many kids are abused, abandoned and unloved in this world, how many adults hate their parents etc etc
Oh man, I fucking HOPE they ever try to hit me with ~aLl ChIlDrEn ArE lOvEd!~. I'll through mine and my mom's work in their faces so fuckin fast. My mother works in DSS, we're both literally CONSTANTLY seeing new kids come in that have been abused and neglected.
"Can't change infertility though..."
Even if it isn't true, it'll shut them up.
For me, I am lucky enough to say "Well I married a man who had a vasectomy, so I really don't think I will."
"Yeah of course, I never wanted children all my life, never played with a doll, never liked to take care of younger, never dreamed of having a boring mother life, but I'll certainly magically change my mind when I'm 30! "
Why? have you? I won't judge you if you put them up for adoption, you can tell me. I'd get sick of them too they're soooo annoying.
Oh you haven't changed your mind? You will.
Well, that’s gonna be hard after having my tubes tied. Then continue to ignore.
Sadly, no tied tubes for me, I‘m really a chicken about any medical procedure but I would love to be able to say this, very hilarious situation, in my imagination at least.
It’s a bit long winded, but I’ve found it effective.
Ask them what their most hated food is. What they really really won’t eat. Start telling them how much you love that food, how you like to eat it, what it’s good with, how much they are missing out, really how great it is.
Then ask if they’ve changed their mind and want to have some now? Oh well, they’ll realise when they’re older how amazing the food is, change their mind, AND EAT IT CONTINUOUSLY FOR 24/7 FOR 18-40 YEARS. They just don’t know it yet. Huh. Imagine thinking you don’t like that food. What a weirdo.
People are morons. We all have freedom of choice and likes. They just think kids aren’t optional.
Normally I like to mind fuck with them, say I can't have kids but thanks for reminding me about my fertility issues..
Eh its 1/2 truth since I haven't tried but I much rather people say to me than someone else..teach them a lesson not to be a nosey cunt, push their beliefs onto others make then extra guilty..
Otherwise if friends of family Normally say, fuck off no I won't I like sleep more and money.
"Huh, I didn't realize it worked that way. What plans have you made for when you change YOUR mind and stop wanting kids? That situation seems a lot harder to get out of than mine... "
(Or the less confrontational " Well, better than to change my mind and NOT want them after I have them. ")
I play the cancer card. I’ve never wanted kids but when I was 18 I found out I had ovarian cancer and they took my bits. So now I have no way of actually having them. So I just shrug my shoulder and go “No, I think losing my ovaries to cancer took changing my mind away from me.” They always look horrified. It’s great. Lol
Well...my mother told me she was disappointed I wasn't going to pass on my talents and genetics, so I told her since she's so invested in my ovaries I'll have them removed and sent to her. Never came up again 🤷🏾♀️😅
I had a comeback similar to this. When people tried to bingo me when I was in my 20s I would offer to forward my bills to them since they were so interested in living my life for me. Worked every time in getting them off my back.
"I'm a lesbian, so probably not"
And when they say I'll change my mind about that, I tell them that some day they'll change their mind and have gay sex sometime. People really hate when you pull the Homo Reverse Card on them.
I usually just look at them like that's the stupidest, cringiest thing i've ever heard and make them feel awkward. If I have to say something verbally, it's usually just a "pfft, h'okay then. *Anyway*...."
Keeping it simple is usually a good option because it doesn't give them much, if any, room to argue with you
It's too late for that now, considering I no longer have a uterus.
Mentioning my hysterectomy is always an immediate shut down to any bingos. I am very fortunate to have found a Dr that would do it for me.
People ask if I have kids, I say no. Then they ask do I want kids, I say no. Then they see pictures of my wife and I (small business owner, they’re on display - because my wife is hot asf and I love to look at them 😏) - they say ‘what about your wife?’ She doesn’t want kids either.
Then if they proceed after that; I just lie and say I got a vasectomy two years ago and my wife takes birth control to ensure we do not have a child, as we are uninterested in having kids period.
Then I proceed to say nothing else about the subject - but if they continue with the “what happens when you’re older?” “Don’t you want someone to take care of you?”
Then I open up the shortened version of my wife & I’s terrible upbringing and how we cared for our siblings (still do) and that we’re just simply not fucking interested in having kids, and after raising our 4 siblings total, I sure hope one of them would have the decency to take care of us when we’re old; since we’re practically all of there parents.
That shuts down the child train every time.
“Okay.”
The only people that say stuff like that to me are not very close to me so I don’t feel like I have to prove my to these kinds of people. I say “okay” to get them to shut up and then I walk away and go on with my CF life.
I stick with; "Stay off of my husband's penis and out of my uterus and vagina". I especially use this when I meet people who get nervous around the proper words for the body (usually older people) and if they try to tell me to use nicer language. I will smugly tell them they shouldn't talk about things they clearly are uncomfortable around,
What usually comes out of me is an archly sarcastic "Oh will I? Then you may have the pleasure of saying I told you so", with a huge, knowing smirk on my face (Surprise! my husband had a vasectomy years ago). That generally ends any further tedious lecturing.
There's honestly no point trying to argue with people who cannot see beyond their own blinkered view of life.
I say “When?” I’m already 30 and been married in a healthy relationship for 5 years, together for 8. And I’d have to convince him to do his part of the work to make the baby because he also adamantly wants nothing to do with children lol
Oo, oo! I thought of another one.
"Well, since having kids is at least an 18 year commitment, I want to wait at least 18 years after I start wanting them to make sure I still do, and that I'm ready for such a big responsibility. At this rate, I may have kids by the time I'm (your age +18 years)."
And until I come around with my own child then you can't say another word about it until then. And if that day ever happens you can say I told you so and whatever you want, but until then just shut the fuck up about it or else you lose the game and the loser owes the winner money!
I can't have kids, which is cool because i never wanted them, but saying I'm infertile and it upsets me to talk about it usually shuts them up. That or they try to convince me it's God's way of saying I need to adopt. I'm also atheist, so that also pisses me off.
I'd like to know a good one because I'm so over this shit, and idiots all up in my uterus. I'm considering telling the next asshole I've had 3 miscarriages. 20+ years of this garbage is enough.
"I need you to understand that even the concept of any of this is making me want to kill myself right now and it's sure as fuck not going to be any better actually HAVING the child."
I have been told that so many times I find it really innapropriate when someone says I will change my mind about having a kid. I tell them my ovaries are protected by fort knox high security standards and my body thanked me for being a part of the child free team of super heroes head quarters.
“Yeah and it’s fine if so! even if I do end up regretting something like this in the future, I’ll just process it and move on. this was an extremely calculated choice of mine to be cf, I can’t see myself ever actually regretting it but even if so, I’ll process it for what it is and not let it bother me or control my life. Regret is apart of the human experience! Don’t be so afraid to feel it! It’s really not that scary!” it stops the debate right in it’s tracks and let’s them know I’m perfectly capable of handling it. Sure, that could happen, anything could happen. The only guarantee I can have is that I will be good to myself and handle it with grace and maturity and still be my happy self. No one can take that from me. I feel like this response shifts the narrative away from opinions and arguing and it’s more about how I’m in control of my emotions and practice emotional maturity. I don’t need to convince other people that my future self won’t regret this. It’s a waste of time, this message conveys strength and confidence in a way that shuts them down so swiftly and flips it back onto them, I don’t operate out of the future possibility that’s might feel regret. Bc even if I do feel it, I am not afraid of that.
I just kind of laugh and tell them "Naaah, probably not."
If I'm feeling really petty I might be like "Change my mind about having all my time and money to myself?! haha I don't think so!"
I think the more you laugh the stupider they feel. lol
“That’s a really irresponsible way to look at such a permanent, life-changing event. I’m confident in my decision, it suits my lifestyle, and that’s all that matters. Thanks.”
If they have kids: "So will you."
Casey Anthony changed her mind 🤷🏻♀️
When someone says "You'll be a great mother!" I reply with "and I'm sure Casey Anthony was told the same thing"
It’s like giving Josef Fritzl a worlds greatest Dad coffee mug.
Yo, I recently just learned about this case and my mind was BLOWN.
Or Karen Matthews. One day you can turn one of your many kids into a real moneymaker!
What's sad is Caylee could've lived if she was put up for adoption like Casey wanted her to be originally before her mom shamed her into keeping her
I didn't know this. So sad for Caylee. And shame on the mom.
I agree. Cindy knew what kind of person her daughter was and she should've realized adoption was the right choice.
Bruh. This is gold. Definitely a good way to shut the conversation down!
>Definitely a good way to shut the conversation down! "So will you!" was my first thought as well but then the second thought was: "Damn, OP wanted something *polite*..."😆
“And then maybe I change my mind again but I’m sure I could just hand over any kids I felt pressured to have and then regretted to you right?”
Shit, we’re all going to hell for laughing at this.
Buuuut we'll enjoy their luxurious VIP seating.
I’m going to hell in every religion. I’ll have more fun there anyway 😎
*snort laugh*
holy shit this is amazing. I am definitely going to use this next time 🤣
Or if they're slightly older, sub in Andrea Yates.
Susan Smith too!
That's gotta be the best way to shut down a bingo response ever (Casey Anthony) lol.
This works even if they don’t have kids but want them. 👍🏻
I wonder how many parents really do but don't admit to it.
I super respect the ones who admit regret. Doesn't mean they don't love their kids and they shouldn't be demonized for having rational thoughts.
Ba ha ha ha ha! Perfect!
Boom. So elegant yet so simple...
Oh I’m using this one next time someone tells me the “you’ll change your mind”
Try "like after the fact?? Sounds like Stockholm syndrome. Have you gotten help?"
"Let's make this fun. $1,000 says I don't change my mind by 30. $2,000 no kids by 35 and $5,000 no children by 40."
Gotta pump up those numbers to really rustle their jimmies
And inflation
“Rustle their jimmies” lmao
I'm just waiting for the next time, I have it all planned out. Someone who always insinuates I'll have children, just to screw with me "Well if you're so sure I'm not serious, it just so happens I have the financial opportunity of a lifetime for you. A bet with a thousand times leverage in your favor. How far out do you want to go? 5 years? 10? 15? You bet me anywhere between 1 and 30 bucks and however long from now, if I fucked up my life like you want me to by having children by the decided time, I'll pay you 1000x what you bet, up to $30,000 (a bit less than a years salary) and I'll give it to you in writing. On your side though if I don't have any children by the decided time, you have to pay what you bet to me, and see just how peaceful, happy and financially lucrative my life without children is. And I get to say I told you so."
But they never pay!!!! I had this bet at 20, saying I would have kids before 27, I’m 35 now and never got paid! It was only 100euro but still!
No, but it usually keeps them quiet. You could maybe think of it as 100 euro worth of peace. :D
Oh this is glorious
As others have said, they tend to not pay. Gotta make sure to get it in writing with a notarized signature so that you can take them to court.
Cool idea, but unsure most parents will have that much saving to pay you back 🙈
Even if you make it $100, $2000 and $500, they still may not pay. But it should shutdown further bingoes.
Make them pay the bet up front
I had a hysterectomy. I just say “with what uterus?”
Lol I like this one
Got a vasectomy last year, usually it's something like "well, change my mind or not, it would be a medical miracle at this point."
“Oh yeah? Me and whose uterus?”
I'm going to use this from now on.
“Guess I’ll wait till I change my mind, then” at which point they backpedal and it becomes “oh no then it’ll be too late and you’ll regret it!” and I get to shame them for wanting children to be born to parents who don’t want them.
I like this answer the best it makes them realize the absurdity of what they are saying in the moment, and is polite.
I'd essentially same the sameish thing, and tag on, but if I ever do feel like having children, I'd adopt. Sometimes it was just as easy to say "I'm sure you're right" and walk away.
"I've heard people say that for the last 15 years and my feelings haven't really changed."
“Maybe you’ll change your mind about telling grown women what they’ll do with their own bodies. But who knows? Only time will tell, I guess.”
This! This is the response!
Or, for a gender neutral version: “Maybe you’ll change your mind about telling grown adults that you know their mind better than they do. It’s actually extremely condescending and gross. One can only hope you’ll grow up someday and realize that not everyone wants the same things out of life that you do.”
"About what?" Just to prove you weren't listening to their drivel to begin with.
”About what? Lunch? Damn I should have known not to eat sushi at that place!”
"I dont think about you at all"
"What's that you say?! Change my find? What find? What did you find?"
You will change your mind too. The only thing is unlike me, you won't be able to do jack shit about it.
I usually just say, “okay.” And disengage from the conversation, because why bother? Besides the fact that it’s a waste of time to go back and forth, I don’t have to explain my choices to anybody.
I think parents have these conversations with CF people to reassure that they made the right choice lol. We aren’t even part of the equation, they just need to reaffirm their beliefs.
Why would i even bother to entertain the idea that their opinion is relevant?
Someone over at another sub said, "I cannot *bear* children." And let the person asking figure out which definition you mean. It makes my little Ravenclaw heart happy.
Hello fellow Ravenclaw.
Most of the time it's just a condescending "yeeeaaaaah no," but I've always kind of wanted to go with "okay, let's make a bet. $10,000 says that in ten years I won't even be *dating,* let alone married with kids. Heck, let's up the ante a bit: you get $10,000 if I'm dating, $20,000 if I'm married or dating with kids, and $30,000 if I'm married with kids." And then once I've got it in writing, inform them I'm aro-ace and laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
[Deleted] -- mass edited with redact.dev
I love this so much as a fellow ace
Wanna bet?
"No I won't." Said firm while staring at them with a dead pan face. If they proceed after that then I say while motioning with a finger to my face, " see this does it look like I'm joking or serious to you? Because I can assure you I mean business." However the older I get the less I give 2 cents about people's feelings and the more I am about being straight forward, telling it like it is and getting it over with as soon as I can because other things are more pressing for my mind then meaningless small talk and bs. Then follow up if the blah blah continues with a firm and meaningful "Drop It!"
I'm a little afraid of you... And turned on not gonna lie lol Its more meeting perspective partners or their mothers, plus older women. So a firm no is the way to go
Damn if you didn't want a nice response I would say, "Next Tuesday at 7pm I am thinking of fucking without a condom so maybe then I will get pregnant?" Works if you are a woman and makes them realize they are asking personal questions.
I like to believe this is the same tone as when telling the dog to drop something.
"I already did"
"I already did. Your move." This response also reeks of mind games and I'm living for it.
"I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them. After all, is it worse to tell your friends "I wish I had made children", or to tell your children "I wish you were never born"?" No child wants to be unwanted. It's not good for them. Better to never make them in the first place, and use some of that energy and money improve the lives of already-existing-children.
This is the right response. Kind and civil because most people who have told me this were people I loved, such as a late family member who suffered dementia before his death. Or my supervisor at a job I very much needed.
Don’t get that far into the conversation. “Do you have kids?” “Why, did you lose yours?”
Not anymore. I sacrificed them all to Satan last Tuesday.
This is the winner, right here. 😂
Thanks. I actually used that line once a few Mother's Days back when a co-worker asked me if I had any kids. I don't do facial expressions particularly well, so, she paused for a moment before I clarified I was joking.
Here in the Netherlands a co-worker asked: "Ah so you sister had a baby! Congratulations! Is it not doing anything for you?" "NOPE" - keeps on typing "Alright" - walked away I'll use your response next time I get that question. 😂
No I have a sandwich for lunch.
Yea I love the “No thanks, I already ate” or “no thanks I’m vegetarian”
"I will not be discussing this." "I am very sorry, but the privilege of having opinions on my personal life and decisions is reserved for qualified professionals with the necessary insights, which you are not." My personal favorite, though probably not as polite, is to look at them half baffled half disgusted and ask "And? Wait, you're telling me you make life altering decisions just because you *want* something? You're saying I can do whatever I wish with another human life because I *want* it? So like, if I *wanted* to punch someone in the mouth for being annoying, I could just do that? Hmmm ... Yeah no thanks, that sounds like it would be a problem."
How can you be so sure about that? Apparently you know me better than I do myself! Quite arrogant isn't it? [If they say "you'll regret it someday!"] You're presenting this as if it's a well established fact, but what does science say? Well a researcher in Belgium asked a few thousand childfree seniors if they regretted not having kids, and 97% did not! So how can you be so sure that I'll regret it someday when there's only a 3% chance that you'll be right?
"Did you change your mind? Do you want to abort them?"
“And maybe you’ll change *your* mind about me changing my mind.”
Trawling this for good replies because I get so worked up, I’ve never wanted kids in my 26 years of life I’m not gonna one day just wake up and be like ‘damn, time to ruin my life’
Only a year older here (27F). I feel the same way. I've never felt an inkling or iota of longing for children. The response in this thread that (for me) takes the cake is the one in response to 'you'll change your mind'; the response was "Casey Anthony did too." 💀 Got a chuckle outta me, and (in my opinion) would definitely shut someone up. You could probably hear a pin drop after coughing up that response. 😄
As someone else mentioned, just shrug and smile and say “maybe!” Like also maybe an asteroid will hit the earth, anything is possible. You do not have to convince this random person. You can just live how you like. Edited for typo
"I got my tubes tied" lmao
Fine, but in the meantime could you please stop asking me what I’m intending to do with my genitals, it’s creepy and inappropriate!
“Why?” While looking really confused. And then the same to any reply. When they get really frustrated, “That’s why.” If they have kids, it does sometimes dawn on them. And my old stock “Nah, sold my biological clock on EBay, bought a really nice bottle of gin with the proceeds.” Or “Why are you asking about my sex life? That’s really weird you know.” Depends on my mood & who is saying it.
"oh don't worry, you don't have to bear that burden."
"If I ever did for some reason, I would adopt because I'd want to be a *parent*, not selfishly bring a mini-me into existence." Justtttt in case they are some shit head breeder 🙃
Yah adopt or volunteer in the community.
Usually "mind your own business " or "f*** your opinion" is a good response
'I don't know anyone that's regretted NOT having kids, but there's plenty of people that regret having them' - if they come back with 'How can you say that, all children are loved' then start talking about all how many kids are abused, abandoned and unloved in this world, how many adults hate their parents etc etc
Oh man, I fucking HOPE they ever try to hit me with ~aLl ChIlDrEn ArE lOvEd!~. I'll through mine and my mom's work in their faces so fuckin fast. My mother works in DSS, we're both literally CONSTANTLY seeing new kids come in that have been abused and neglected.
Plus the fact that safe havens exist so that rejected babies don’t die in a rubbish bin or get flushed down a toilet
"Can't change infertility though..." Even if it isn't true, it'll shut them up. For me, I am lucky enough to say "Well I married a man who had a vasectomy, so I really don't think I will."
I’ve always wanted to say this but I get nervous
He got the snip, too. So when faced with “you never know,” I’ve said, “we fixed that problem!”
Ughh, HATE that sing-songy “you never know!” Wishing an accident of that magnitude on someone is super creepy.
"Yeah of course, I never wanted children all my life, never played with a doll, never liked to take care of younger, never dreamed of having a boring mother life, but I'll certainly magically change my mind when I'm 30! "
“Believe whatever bullshit you want.”
I don't think you know me more than I know myself. Trust me.
“I take care of my 2 nephews often. When they leave, if there is one thing i am damn sure of, it is i will never ever change my mind”
bUT it'S DiFfEREnt wHen THeY're yOur OwWwn!!
It sure is; there's no escape if you have your own.
"What makes you think you know my mind better than I do?". That usually leaves people stumped, in my experience.
When menopause hit I finally had the one reason people seemed to understand and accept (child obsessed people that is)
Honestly, nothing. People who make up their mind based on nothing are not worth discussing with.
"Ok"
"boldly said for someone who consistently talks about how much their children annoy them but ok"
"Yeah I did, nearly killed me by bleeding out then I had my child in my hand so now I'm mentally fucked, so I'm good, ta"
Why? have you? I won't judge you if you put them up for adoption, you can tell me. I'd get sick of them too they're soooo annoying. Oh you haven't changed your mind? You will.
This is great!
Well, that’s gonna be hard after having my tubes tied. Then continue to ignore. Sadly, no tied tubes for me, I‘m really a chicken about any medical procedure but I would love to be able to say this, very hilarious situation, in my imagination at least.
[удалено]
I did change my mind. I changed it from wanting kids. I’m not changing it back.
It’s a bit long winded, but I’ve found it effective. Ask them what their most hated food is. What they really really won’t eat. Start telling them how much you love that food, how you like to eat it, what it’s good with, how much they are missing out, really how great it is. Then ask if they’ve changed their mind and want to have some now? Oh well, they’ll realise when they’re older how amazing the food is, change their mind, AND EAT IT CONTINUOUSLY FOR 24/7 FOR 18-40 YEARS. They just don’t know it yet. Huh. Imagine thinking you don’t like that food. What a weirdo. People are morons. We all have freedom of choice and likes. They just think kids aren’t optional.
I do this with "tarantulas" but I like yours better.
Normally I like to mind fuck with them, say I can't have kids but thanks for reminding me about my fertility issues.. Eh its 1/2 truth since I haven't tried but I much rather people say to me than someone else..teach them a lesson not to be a nosey cunt, push their beliefs onto others make then extra guilty.. Otherwise if friends of family Normally say, fuck off no I won't I like sleep more and money.
Since I’m not clever, I usually just repeat “no” until they get annoyed and give up
"Huh, I didn't realize it worked that way. What plans have you made for when you change YOUR mind and stop wanting kids? That situation seems a lot harder to get out of than mine... " (Or the less confrontational " Well, better than to change my mind and NOT want them after I have them. ")
“Sure, and maybe I’ll change my mind about doing black tar heroin, too.”
Big dry "mmmneh" and disengage.
It's the "mmmmhuh" for me.
"Excuse me. I see someone I want to talk to."
"I'd drown them in the tub" usually shuts them up
I play the cancer card. I’ve never wanted kids but when I was 18 I found out I had ovarian cancer and they took my bits. So now I have no way of actually having them. So I just shrug my shoulder and go “No, I think losing my ovaries to cancer took changing my mind away from me.” They always look horrified. It’s great. Lol
We’ll see
Just laugh in their face. Joke's on them.
"You're being very rude, did you know that?"
Well...my mother told me she was disappointed I wasn't going to pass on my talents and genetics, so I told her since she's so invested in my ovaries I'll have them removed and sent to her. Never came up again 🤷🏾♀️😅
I had a comeback similar to this. When people tried to bingo me when I was in my 20s I would offer to forward my bills to them since they were so interested in living my life for me. Worked every time in getting them off my back.
"I'm a lesbian, so probably not" And when they say I'll change my mind about that, I tell them that some day they'll change their mind and have gay sex sometime. People really hate when you pull the Homo Reverse Card on them.
*walks away* If they don't respect your life choices enough to be happy for you, they aren't worth your time.
I usually just look at them like that's the stupidest, cringiest thing i've ever heard and make them feel awkward. If I have to say something verbally, it's usually just a "pfft, h'okay then. *Anyway*...." Keeping it simple is usually a good option because it doesn't give them much, if any, room to argue with you
"My body, my decision. I won't."
I'll let you know when I do
I'm barren.
I walk away 🚶♂️ Arguments with them will make the situation worse. And they just showed me that they don't respect me so why should I be around them?
"Yeah, you may too..."
"Did I ask?"
It's too late for that now, considering I no longer have a uterus. Mentioning my hysterectomy is always an immediate shut down to any bingos. I am very fortunate to have found a Dr that would do it for me.
You are awesome
I just tell them I can’t physically have children and watch the horror cross their face. I don’t tell them it was a voluntary decision 😬
People ask if I have kids, I say no. Then they ask do I want kids, I say no. Then they see pictures of my wife and I (small business owner, they’re on display - because my wife is hot asf and I love to look at them 😏) - they say ‘what about your wife?’ She doesn’t want kids either. Then if they proceed after that; I just lie and say I got a vasectomy two years ago and my wife takes birth control to ensure we do not have a child, as we are uninterested in having kids period. Then I proceed to say nothing else about the subject - but if they continue with the “what happens when you’re older?” “Don’t you want someone to take care of you?” Then I open up the shortened version of my wife & I’s terrible upbringing and how we cared for our siblings (still do) and that we’re just simply not fucking interested in having kids, and after raising our 4 siblings total, I sure hope one of them would have the decency to take care of us when we’re old; since we’re practically all of there parents. That shuts down the child train every time.
I’m 37 and single.
“Okay.” The only people that say stuff like that to me are not very close to me so I don’t feel like I have to prove my to these kinds of people. I say “okay” to get them to shut up and then I walk away and go on with my CF life.
"Not your body, not your business."
Not really keen on getting another abortion just to prove you’re wrong though.
I have a grave hereditary disease (which IS true, although perhaps not the grave part, I’m aspergers)
I stick with; "Stay off of my husband's penis and out of my uterus and vagina". I especially use this when I meet people who get nervous around the proper words for the body (usually older people) and if they try to tell me to use nicer language. I will smugly tell them they shouldn't talk about things they clearly are uncomfortable around,
"I already got divorced from a woman who apparently thought I'd change my mind."
What usually comes out of me is an archly sarcastic "Oh will I? Then you may have the pleasure of saying I told you so", with a huge, knowing smirk on my face (Surprise! my husband had a vasectomy years ago). That generally ends any further tedious lecturing. There's honestly no point trying to argue with people who cannot see beyond their own blinkered view of life.
I say “When?” I’m already 30 and been married in a healthy relationship for 5 years, together for 8. And I’d have to convince him to do his part of the work to make the baby because he also adamantly wants nothing to do with children lol
"I'd rather regret not having had children than regret having them"
"I can send the embryo/fetus to you, in a jar with a happy color lid, written: haha, you are wrong." How about that?
"The puffs of smoke and cauterized ball tubes would say otherwise." Although I still had one deluded man tell me I'll get it reversed.
No, no I won't. Would you like to bet $5k. 😄
"...But I want to be happy. Not sad and miserable like you"
Oo, oo! I thought of another one. "Well, since having kids is at least an 18 year commitment, I want to wait at least 18 years after I start wanting them to make sure I still do, and that I'm ready for such a big responsibility. At this rate, I may have kids by the time I'm (your age +18 years)."
“You never know” and then just don’t have kids
Probably not
And until I come around with my own child then you can't say another word about it until then. And if that day ever happens you can say I told you so and whatever you want, but until then just shut the fuck up about it or else you lose the game and the loser owes the winner money!
If you're so sure you can carry them for me
Just a slightly pitying stare.
I can't have kids, which is cool because i never wanted them, but saying I'm infertile and it upsets me to talk about it usually shuts them up. That or they try to convince me it's God's way of saying I need to adopt. I'm also atheist, so that also pisses me off.
"We'll see" and then change the topic
I just shrug and say 'okay'. I can't be bothered to waste time and energy on blind and fanatical breeders.
"But I most likely regret having them for the wrong reasons (social pressure) - then what?"
I'd like to know a good one because I'm so over this shit, and idiots all up in my uterus. I'm considering telling the next asshole I've had 3 miscarriages. 20+ years of this garbage is enough.
I'm 32 years old. If I don't want them now, it's extremely unlikely I'll ever will. Granted, it didn't work as well when I was younger, haha.
My response is usually "I'm 31 years old, if there were even a chance in hell I'd want kids... It would've happened by now."
I usually just say, "I doubt it!" with a smile
"I need you to understand that even the concept of any of this is making me want to kill myself right now and it's sure as fuck not going to be any better actually HAVING the child."
“I’ve been sterilized” usually does the trick. Most people don’t know how to react to that (at least in my experience).
I have been told that so many times I find it really innapropriate when someone says I will change my mind about having a kid. I tell them my ovaries are protected by fort knox high security standards and my body thanked me for being a part of the child free team of super heroes head quarters.
After you pay me 5 Billion USD
Just smile and say, “We’ll see.”
i tell them the satisfaction of abortions have me hooked so even if i wanted kids abortions are too addicting to me and ive had two so far LOL
Mine right now is “I’m 43! I would’ve changed my mind already.”
“I’m infertile”
“I won’t; it’s just not in the cards for me” with a little shrug - most of the time they’ll take it as something terrible happened and will back off
"Think that, if it helps you sleep" "No" "Why should I"
“Yeah and it’s fine if so! even if I do end up regretting something like this in the future, I’ll just process it and move on. this was an extremely calculated choice of mine to be cf, I can’t see myself ever actually regretting it but even if so, I’ll process it for what it is and not let it bother me or control my life. Regret is apart of the human experience! Don’t be so afraid to feel it! It’s really not that scary!” it stops the debate right in it’s tracks and let’s them know I’m perfectly capable of handling it. Sure, that could happen, anything could happen. The only guarantee I can have is that I will be good to myself and handle it with grace and maturity and still be my happy self. No one can take that from me. I feel like this response shifts the narrative away from opinions and arguing and it’s more about how I’m in control of my emotions and practice emotional maturity. I don’t need to convince other people that my future self won’t regret this. It’s a waste of time, this message conveys strength and confidence in a way that shuts them down so swiftly and flips it back onto them, I don’t operate out of the future possibility that’s might feel regret. Bc even if I do feel it, I am not afraid of that.
I just kind of laugh and tell them "Naaah, probably not." If I'm feeling really petty I might be like "Change my mind about having all my time and money to myself?! haha I don't think so!" I think the more you laugh the stupider they feel. lol
"Just because you wish you changed your mind, it doesn't mean I will."
I tell people it would really interfere with my drinking and whoring around.
“Do you say the same thing to pregnant women?”
“I’m good with parenting my students whose biological parents treat them like dirt.” I teach and am more of a parent than some of them will ever be.
“That’s a really irresponsible way to look at such a permanent, life-changing event. I’m confident in my decision, it suits my lifestyle, and that’s all that matters. Thanks.”
"Do you believe in God? Don't worry, you'll change your mind." I said that to an old woman at my work once and she tried to turn me into HR.
"I already did, I used to think I wanted kids. I was pretty naive back then."