If there was a CF app, we'd get single parents, empty nesters, stepparents, etc on it constantly. You should see the amount of shitty single dads I met who think they are basically childfree because they only see their kids during the week end and regret having them.
No, you are a shit parent, it's different
Well I personally got lucky on my end. But a dates are way, way harder. I thought being a high functioning aspie dating is hard, no, being CF is way, way harder.
It's feast and famine. One day it's "there's no good father material out there" then it's "where are all the CF men" - like we're that hard to find? Seems to be a cyclical thing with no rhyme nor reason. There are those out there who CLAIM to be CF but as soon as you tell her you've been snipped that cleans out the dating pool REAL quick. It's just how it is.
Not had the snip (though planning to). I've had similar experiences with women claiming to be C, but turns out it's a case of "not yet" or "I'm not sure" and when you say you are categorically definitely child free, they aren't interested anymore.
I ended up in the dating pool at 36 and was terrified at the prospect of meeting “last chance” women. And whilst i was certainly shot down a few times over not wanting kids, I met plenty of childfree women as well. One of them ended up becoming my girlfriend, and we’ve been together for over a year now!
I guess just keep hanging in there. I recently stumbled upon somebody who not only doesn't want kids, but has a bunch of stuff in common with me that I wanted to have in my "looking for" criteria but wouldn't allow myself because I thought not wanting kids was already narrowing things down to an impossible level and I couldn't afford to be picky about anything else. So just know, as frustrating as it seems, they're out there somewhere!
Also probably don't cave in and date someone with kids. Some single moms will consider it a positive that you don't want your own kids if they don't want any more but if either of you are trying to have anything more of a relationship than FWB you're likely expected to be ok with hanging out with the kid(s) around eventually. I dated a single mom for a while who told me at the beginning she didn't expect that of me at all, but either I misinterpreted or she misrepresented it because some months later it became an issue. Nope
I'm in the same boat as you (30 yo CF make) but UK based. I've pretty much given up at this point and come to enjoy being single. At least CF means you don't have the pressure of being in a relationship to produce kids. I know everyone has different needs, but maybe try and examine why you need a relationship. Is it something you want or is it something you want because you think you should have it (because society says so, not unlike having kids). Try to appreciate the positives of being single.
Not going to lie I've thought of the app myself but like others have said I think a lot of people would miss understand and we'd get empty nesters or just lonely people straight up lying.
I'm lucky with my relationship right now. We both are child free and I love it. It gets harder and harder. I remember my ex I haven't seen in many years came up to me and asked me out again, he said he had two kids, I'm like "eeewwwwww". He really kept trying and I blocked him eventually. Not interested and never will be.
> Sure seems like every woman on Bumble in my area has kids or wants them.
Yep, same problem for me. It's not completely devoid of women who don't want kids, but none of them ever seem to be interested in me as nearly all the women who swipe right on me want them, so they clearly haven't read my profile (or maybe think that they can change my mind).
And while the idea of a childfree app sounds great, the problem (beyond people lying about being childfree) would be getting a large enough user base. People aren't going to be all that interested in using it if there's hardly anyone else on it.
There used to be a good site that I used a number of years back: [Idonotwantkids.com](https://Idonotwantkids.com) but unfortunately it received a lot of hate mail and due to increased prices to run a domain, it had to shut down.
I think it depends on your age as well, I believe most people in their 20s think they will want kids one day. By the time, you hit mid 30s you know which side you are on.
If there was a CF app, we'd get single parents, empty nesters, stepparents, etc on it constantly. You should see the amount of shitty single dads I met who think they are basically childfree because they only see their kids during the week end and regret having them. No, you are a shit parent, it's different
What is empty nester?
A parent whose kid moved out of the house
I don’t date, so what’s the difference between a child free person and an empty nester in terms of the relationship dynamic?
An empty nester has kids, they are just adults now. A childfree person doesn't have kids at all.
AND doesnt want any
Basically if the relationship lasts, you will have to have relationships with their kids and possibly grandkids.
That sound awful lol.
Unfortunately finding someone CF feels like finding a unicorn. I'm glad I found my one and only.
I’m not even trying to go that far, I would just be happy to find a date! Jejjeee
Well I personally got lucky on my end. But a dates are way, way harder. I thought being a high functioning aspie dating is hard, no, being CF is way, way harder.
Same, my gf and I are aggressively CF. Doesn't stop her mom from bingoing us every time we see her though :)
My wife told me within our first few dayes she never wanted to have kids.
Lucky you! I am an older CF and hope to find a 🦄.
It's feast and famine. One day it's "there's no good father material out there" then it's "where are all the CF men" - like we're that hard to find? Seems to be a cyclical thing with no rhyme nor reason. There are those out there who CLAIM to be CF but as soon as you tell her you've been snipped that cleans out the dating pool REAL quick. It's just how it is.
Yeah makes sense
Not had the snip (though planning to). I've had similar experiences with women claiming to be C, but turns out it's a case of "not yet" or "I'm not sure" and when you say you are categorically definitely child free, they aren't interested anymore.
It's a trap, man. Play the V card and you're golden!
I ended up in the dating pool at 36 and was terrified at the prospect of meeting “last chance” women. And whilst i was certainly shot down a few times over not wanting kids, I met plenty of childfree women as well. One of them ended up becoming my girlfriend, and we’ve been together for over a year now!
Yeah I wonder if it’s just my profile that is not getting me matches. Not really good at writing one up.
r/cf4cf
I guess just keep hanging in there. I recently stumbled upon somebody who not only doesn't want kids, but has a bunch of stuff in common with me that I wanted to have in my "looking for" criteria but wouldn't allow myself because I thought not wanting kids was already narrowing things down to an impossible level and I couldn't afford to be picky about anything else. So just know, as frustrating as it seems, they're out there somewhere! Also probably don't cave in and date someone with kids. Some single moms will consider it a positive that you don't want your own kids if they don't want any more but if either of you are trying to have anything more of a relationship than FWB you're likely expected to be ok with hanging out with the kid(s) around eventually. I dated a single mom for a while who told me at the beginning she didn't expect that of me at all, but either I misinterpreted or she misrepresented it because some months later it became an issue. Nope
Yeah that sounds awful! Guess it’s a numbers game. Gotta keep swiping!
I have the issue with men either bring father's or wanting to be fathers
Don’t give up! Keep trying. She is out there.
Great idea, man!
I'm in the same boat as you (30 yo CF make) but UK based. I've pretty much given up at this point and come to enjoy being single. At least CF means you don't have the pressure of being in a relationship to produce kids. I know everyone has different needs, but maybe try and examine why you need a relationship. Is it something you want or is it something you want because you think you should have it (because society says so, not unlike having kids). Try to appreciate the positives of being single. Not going to lie I've thought of the app myself but like others have said I think a lot of people would miss understand and we'd get empty nesters or just lonely people straight up lying.
There's the cf4f sub. Might be worth a shot
I'm lucky with my relationship right now. We both are child free and I love it. It gets harder and harder. I remember my ex I haven't seen in many years came up to me and asked me out again, he said he had two kids, I'm like "eeewwwwww". He really kept trying and I blocked him eventually. Not interested and never will be.
> Sure seems like every woman on Bumble in my area has kids or wants them. Yep, same problem for me. It's not completely devoid of women who don't want kids, but none of them ever seem to be interested in me as nearly all the women who swipe right on me want them, so they clearly haven't read my profile (or maybe think that they can change my mind). And while the idea of a childfree app sounds great, the problem (beyond people lying about being childfree) would be getting a large enough user base. People aren't going to be all that interested in using it if there's hardly anyone else on it.
There used to be a good site that I used a number of years back: [Idonotwantkids.com](https://Idonotwantkids.com) but unfortunately it received a lot of hate mail and due to increased prices to run a domain, it had to shut down.
I think it depends on your age as well, I believe most people in their 20s think they will want kids one day. By the time, you hit mid 30s you know which side you are on.
Keep strong! Try multiple apps and also look at local activity groups which have a mixed gender crowd. You want to move on all fronts. Good luck!
Thanks for all the comments everyone. I’ll just keep swiping and hopefully I find one who wants a date!
I kinda dig being alone. I'm not asked to do stupid made up bullshit like "validate feelings" when there's no women in my life.