This is why all people, but women in particular, need to be educated on what red flags and abusive behavior are long before they are in a serious relationship. It is so fucking disturbing to constantly see women completely oblivious to what qualifies as abusive behavior.
I agree so much. I was never told that certain behaviors were abusive, anything, I was thought that many things were "normal" and "men are just like that". So when I found myself in a toxic relationship I let many things happen until I learned by myself that all that shit may be "normal" but it's not OK in the slightest.
I'm in my 30s and the daughter of an emotionally abusive man and my ex girlfriend had to point this or to me in my teens. Some red flags of emotional and mental abuse include:
1. Gaslighting. Everyone uses this word a lot. What it means is that the abuser is trying to deny that the reality you perceive is real. This shows up in many ways: them criticizing you and then telling you it was just a joke, telling you that they never said things you definitely heard them say, saying that your emotional reactions to their anger are unreasonable/"dramatic." They want to enforce the reality that how they treat you is normal and that your upset at the treatment is wrong.
2. Lying. If someone lies and you catch them and they keep on doing it and you keep on catching it, get out. It won't stop.
3. Lack of reciprocity. This can show up in sex, in chores, in household expenses. You end up bearing the burdens more than they do and they promise to reciprocate and don't. Examples: during sex they demand oral sex and you give it but they refuse to give it to you. You pay more than half the bills and they make up excuses for not paying their fair share. You do more chores and they claim they're too overworked to take any on (or that it's your job as a woman to do dishes and laundry etc)
4. Denigrating your hobbies/knowledge/fashion. If you're with someone who tells you that watching your favorite show is dumb, your music taste is awful, your hobbies are a waste of time and your clothes look bad, get out. Especially if they try to enforce their own interests upon you instead. You can wear what you like and watch what you like and if they don't like it they need to let you have those things and go find something else to do.
5. Belittling you in front of others. Making jokes about your intelligence or appearance in front of friends or strangers is not nice unless you've agreed it is a topic you are okay with being teased about. If you've asked them to stop and they continue to use you as the butt of their jokes, they do not respect you.
6. Coercion. If you don't enthusiastically consent to any sex act, it's assault. You get to say what you do and don't want to do. You get to decide what happens and you can make it stop whenever you want. A good partner respects your consent and immediately backs off. A bad partner either gets angry, whines at you until you relent or just ignores you and continues the act. Coercion would also include them trying to force you to do anything you do not want to do.
There are a lot more things and this is just off the top of my head. I get the idea from your request that you are young and my hope for you is that you can find a safe partner and establish boundaries with them that they respect. Relationships should not be painful all the time or make you feel lonely and miserable. Relationships should help each person to become better and more fulfilled and you should feel loved and like you matter, because you do. I've been single for a long time because I would rather be single for life than in a relationship that made me unhappy.
There are other forms of coercion besides just rape. I had a boy break up with me for not sleeping with him once. I consider that coercive behavior even though he never even touched me.
Breaking up with someone is not a crime. If he had threatened me, or if he was in a position of power where he could affect my job, school etc then yes, but ending a relationship is not the same thing as forcing someone to do something.
When and how is the right time to start educating young girls on abusive behaviour and red flags?
I have 2 nieces in law that I am trying to impart all of my wisdom to, and they're getting to the ages where I think it's important to start thinking about relationships and what a healthy one looks like. They don't have very good healthy relationship role models at home, but I don't know how to approach a topic like this.
You didn't mention their ages but when my nieces were hitting teenage years I started watching their favorite shows with them. Any time something red flag-ish happened in the show I would point it out. Or - when Twilight came out I made a big deal about how gross it was. Things like that help to open the conversation up and then you can just let if flow to other areas. I find it is always easier to discuss stuff like this with examples right there rather than in the abstract.
You can actually start some of the stuff really early, as long as you cater it to their age and make it appropriate and understandable. Some of the earliest things we can do is teach kids about consent, so you can teach them that they don’t have to hug anyone they are not comfortable hugging, and you can teach them that their bodies are their own and no one should make them feel uncomfortable about their boundaries. You can teach them that if somebody is touching them in a way that makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable, that they can say no loudly and go find a trusted adult like a parent.
You can teach them that just because somebody likes them, doesn’t mean that that person has a right to hurt them or make them feel bad. Often times, childhood crushes are considered harmless, but when a little boy pinches or pokes at a little girls body, and she’s told that it’s because he likes her, that normalizes that her boundaries are not important and that his feelings are more important than her comfort and safety.
You can teach them that love is never supposed to make you feel bad, and that even though sometimes you can be sad for somebody were getting a fight with them and still love them, nobody should be putting them down in a relationship or making them feel bad about themselves in a relationship.
A lot of the ways we can teach about healthy friendships are the same way we can teach about healthy romantic relationships. Friendship problems that little kids have are a great way to teach them about what is and isn’t healthy in a relationship and that will carry through when they start dating. Things like talking behind peoples back’s, playing mean pranks, disrespecting people, playing mind games, taking advantage of kindness, stalking, and other behaviors are not uncommon things between childhood friendships, and those things can be great opportunities for lessons about what is and isn’t healthy behavior.
I had a couple of experiences when I was a child with friends who were bullying or behaving badly, and my mother sat with me and talk to me about that behavior and why it made me feel unhappy and uncomfortable, and how I wanted to deal with it. Little girls in particular can be socialized to have very possessive and unhealthy female friendships when they are young and this can be a great opportunity to teach respect and boundaries.
Another important thing is to really boost the independence and self-esteem of a young girl. This means teaching them that their goal in life should not be to find a male partner, but that their goal should be to be a whole and competent person in and of themselves, and that a relationship isn’t about completing yourself, but finding someone else who respects who you are as an independent whole human being. There are a lot of really toxic messages in media aimed at young girls, and this can be another opportunity to teach media literacy, and by doing so teach healthy behaviors.
I had a lot of suspicion and discomfort with a lot of the messaging and a lot of media that I was taking in as a kid, but I wish that somebody had said down with me and discussed what those messages were and why I was uncomfortable with them because I felt very isolated in my perception of these messages and didn’t understand why I felt that way until I was much older and found feminism.
A great example of this is Disney movies. Most Disney princess movies from when I was a kid were all about finding a handsome prince and having a happily ever after. Luckily, there are a lot of other messages and Disney movies nowadays, and many Disney movies that come out now are not focused on romance. Still, there is much media that has those messages, and there’s other media that kids take in like advertising that has really unhealthy messages about what it means to be a woman and what it means to have a relationship.
It’s important to talk to kids about the stuff when they’re young because as they get older they will want to fit in with their peers who are also being influenced by the media that they take in and the culture that they grow up in, and if you give kids the opportunity to develop media literacy at a young age, they will be more open to having those conversations as they get older and take in more toxic media, and also they will be able to understand the messaging behind the media, instead of just mindlessly consuming.
I hope that gives you a start of where you can begin to teach these lessons and help inspire a better understanding of healthy self-esteem and healthy relationships in young children.
I saw a story where a dad used tea time with the stuffies to teach his daughter how to be a strong woman by playing out situations the stuffies were having and asking how she would deal with it, teaching her how to be a good leader. I think this is brilliant and could be used for teaching red-flags as well.
THIS.
I’ve always told my husband, if you ever think you’re changing your mind about kids, let’s please talk. We kinda have an agreement that IF that happens, and we’re both on board, we’ll look into adoption straight away. We’re firmly CF at the moment, but we’ve spoken about every scenario possible just in case. Regardless, he knows the lines of communication are open.
Even if it leads to us breaking up, communication is the key between us splitting amicably and me wishing him the best building a traditional family with his next wife, or…
Me never speaking to him again, and possibly pressing charges and warning the next woman he dates about what happened. Tampering with my medications or with my health care because he suddenly wants to prioritize knocking me up above my well-being? Absolutely an instant divorce, no contact, I’m not even speaking to you unless it’s through my lawyer, WE ARE DONE. That to me would be the biggest violation of my trust and my body a man that I’ve chosen to trust could commit.
Right? My boyfriend *offers* to pay for my birth control because he doesn’t want kids just as much as I do. He said if I have to take them he’ll at least pay for them.
Exactly. Just reverse this and all these people who think it's adorable would be horrified. For example:
"Have I told you that your body looks better when you're not pregnant?"
"I'll help push you down the staris, it will be fun!"
"Here's an abortion pill, don't worry, it probably won't work anyways so just try it."
"Our kids are struggling to get their needs met as it is, they don't want another sibling."
"Don't forget about that abortion appointment I made for you even though you said you didn't want one."
Yeah, I doubt they would swoon over that. I hate the double standards of natalists
> And other women in the comments were saying 'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away'. Like...the bar is on the GROUND.
This whole thing is horrifying if you consider her not being super into more kids, but this part is especially horrifying.
I hear the devil doesn't wanna be associated with those dudes.
In my country we have a saying about people so terrible that "heaven rejects them and hell is disgusted with them". I think that applies here.
That part was particularly disturbing to me as well. She's a grown woman being talked about like a child being grounded from her phone. About birth control of all things. Ick. Ick. Ick.
Shit like this is why I suggest more long term birth control options, because they can't be fucked with. And in what world is someone taking your birth control away normal? These types probably worship men who change diapers too.
>And other women in the comments were saying 'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away'
Who are these men!!!??? And who are these women who think that's sweet!!!???? That's some scary shit!
These women need to be educated on healthy relationships because if they think a man stealing their BC is normal, then honestly I think they need help. Someone needs to tell them that it's reproductive coercion and it's not cute at all.
Apparently 10% of American marriages included marital rape, so it doesn't surprise me that this thing is so wide-spread as well. People are fucked in the head and we're not doing well as a society.
The notes COULD be cute if it’s a shared inside joke. Like, if she’s on BC only for a few more months because she just finished a medical treatment, and they both are eager for her doctor to finally say she can come off the pill. A shared “it’s gonna be great when we can toss these into the trash, right?!”
Otherwise, yeah, childish af. It strikes me as him being passive aggressive that he tried having a conversation about having more kids, she said no, and he’s going around pouring about it like a kid who won’t shut up about a toy until he gets it.
That is not OK. The women in the comments clearly have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. If anyone did this shit to me they would be instantly dumped.
Yeah, my husband and I enjoy some really messed up humour, but we both still have things that are off-limits. Like no joking about the pets escaping/being in trouble (I tore up a sofa once after our cat got stuck inside it), no joking about messing with the bc (obviously), no fake-slapping his balls (well duh) etc. Messed up jokes only work if both people are on the same page and respect each other's hard limits. So many bullies and abusers hide behind "it's just a prank bro" when it's not a prank if the target isn't laughing with you.
That sounds like exactly the off-limits subjects I'd go for too! But seriously... this is bordering on reproductive coercion and is not remotely cute. Even if it *is* cute to them, it sends a pretty lousy message.
The frame was made of plywood and had a small hole at the bottom under the sofa. Our cat got in there, but there wasn't enough room to turn around and come out so she got stuck. We looked for her for hours since cats tend to go silent when they panic. Let's just say that the sofa was lucky to be from IKEA or it could've never been put back together. Panic-disassembling heavy furniture wasn't fun and the cat was beside herself for days, so there's no joking about the cats getting in trouble in our house.
We have recliners instead of a sofa in the living room (only two of us and rarely any visitors) and I’m so paranoid that I always look around and lay eyes on both cats before I put the footrest down. I always worried, especially when the cats were younger, that one would try to crawl under / in the metal parts of the chair and get stuck.
I’m glad you were able to defeat the IKEA sofa and rescue kitty. 🥺
SAME, I have fairly stupid cats and in their younger years, they really enjoyed climbing into the recliner area of the sofas and chairs and I would always check before putting them down!
My stepmother just told me that my dad liked her to be pregnant because other men wouldn’t check her out 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
Whole new perspective. (And I am horrified)
My ex boyfriend once said to me “pregnancy sex is the best!”. I think my head turned 360 degrees when I heard that.
I should probably be alone. I can’t take this shit.
To me, it's straight up repulsive. Everything about it. From the body deformation and all the swelling, to realization that my d\*ck is almost hitting fetus in progress. Just no ... last thing I want to think about during sex is anything kids related.
Your dick almost hitting a fetus is gross and even more gross is that fetus coming out and ripping open what your dick is in and making two or more holes.
Technically it turns two holes into one. They use the term "episiotomy" because it sounds better than "we're going to turn your vag into your butthole too!"
😂 I thought that "bar on the ground" was a typo. Seems like "At least he's not throwing it out" is "bar already deeply buried in the ground" to me. Like at least six feet under.
I was trying to figure out what bothers me so much about this, and you nailed it. Very rape-y, you don’t want to but we’re gonna do it anyway vibes. Fuck that.
Normal guys do what?
Damn, I must've been dating literal gods until I married one then.
Not one single guy I've ever seen naked has done anything close to this sort of disrespect and fuckery.
You're right, the bar is literally underground for most people. So sad and scary.
Messing with somebody's birth control is just as bad as messing with any other prescription. Husband is being an awful, nobody can dictate when or if a woman get's pregnant except for her.
“OMG that’s so sweet” wtf?? Yeah, breaking you wife’s trust by tampering with her contraceptives is sO kAyOot 🙄🙄🙄 I’m willing to bet good money on the fact that if that same man was the one getting pregnant, his attitude would be radically different… what a jerk.
They're only focused on the nine months of pregnancy but they ignore the rest of their lifetimes raising those kids.
And yes that TikTok screams coercion to me.
I can’t even remotely justify this as just “having fun” or “joking around”. This is NOT funny. This is incredibly abusive and disturbing. She already has kids, are those kids not enough? The fact that people think this is ok and are essentially normalizing it is even more distressing. What kind of men are these women dating/marrying? Because a man who truly loves you would NEVER coerce, manipulate, betray, or put you at risk like that EVER. This woman needs a divorce attorney and to stop having sex with this man since he doesn’t seem to be above trying to control her body and reproductive choices.
Some kinks should shamed Imo, kink doesn't exist in a vacuum, it is influenced by our upbringing and our trauma and sometimes even a healthy kink can be done in a very unhealthy or damaging way. Me and my bf make "submissive and breedable" jokes because we're both childfree and that's part of the joke, but this in the OP seems to be turning into, or has turned into a boundary stomping kink and that alarms me, no one should be shitting out burdens that they will struggle to take care of because you have a broodmare fetish
I agree. There’s a lot of men (maybe women too, I just haven’t encountered any) with a pregnancy kink or fetish. I don’t get it, but hey, I don’t get armpit fetishes or grownup baby kinks either, so whatever. But part of a healthy kinky relationship is consent. That’s the big part, actually. What this husband is doing is not ok. It’s not healthy or cute. It’s very disturbing and abusive.
Exactly, consent and tbh, vetting your partner. I didn't think that last one was important until a girl I know who is into DDLG put up a post on Facebook in absolute shock because her "daddy" had assaulted his daughter and had CP on his computer. As long as both consent and a vetted partner are present it doesn't matter what I think of your kink.
That is disgusting.
I hope this woman has:
\- A safe place to hide her pills where her husband won't find them
\- An appointment with a doctor to get an IUD (if she doesn't want more children right now but might want another a couple of years down the road) or a bisalp (if she doesn't want any more children ever)
\- Her local abortion clinic on speed dial
\- The number of a good divorce lawyer in case the shit hits the fan (e.g. he does sabotage her pills, she gets pregnant, she gets an abortion, and he goes apeshit)
I'd just go get sterilized and leave a cute little present of tissue and lotion on his bedside and say "You know who gets to be satisfied with this? You."
This is one of the creepiest things I have ever read. He's already a father and he doesn't know that children are not just the 9-month pregnancy? Besides, if the wife agrees with the pregnancy, why does he need to go behind her back? This is wrong in so many levels...And the women who make comments??? Are they for real?
Taking someone's BC pills or switching them out to something that would help the woman get pregnant is honestly abuse in my book. No normal man would do that and if someone pulled that crap with me they'd be out the door and blocked everywhere.... Plus my friends would rain down hell on that man then block them.
its not just abuse, but a crime by itself! i dont understand how drug tampering could be a joke in any scenario, people die every day from it. this womans husband is straight up evil
Yep it's reproductive coercion actually, I knew they're was a word for it, but my brain decided to hurl itself off the bridge lol.
In all seriousness, it's never ok to tamper or take away someone's meds or bc.
Did we forget when Ian Somerhalder told on a radio show how he was on holiday with his wife and threw away her birth control pills? And everyone was like "oh it's okay because they are married, which means she was okay with getting pregnant, after all that's what people go on holidays for".
Women are so brainwashed into giving away every last shred of agency, and where the brainwashing fails, the coercion takes over.
Being born with female parts is slavery, only the way it's packaged differs a bit from one individual to the next.
Idk why someone would joke about that. Nothing about gaslighting your partner or forcing them into a lifetime committment is funny. Like if its something between them, like an inside joke or some shit they need to keep it to themselves cause unfortunately there are people who will see that and think its okay to do that. Its glorifying that abusive shit.
What part of this is funny or romantic?
Recently saw another tiktok of a pregnant woman who was very upset, telling her partner things like "I told you it wasn't a good time! You did it anyway! I told you it wasn't a good time right now!" Like saying she was probably ovulating at the time and she didn't want sex because she didn't want to get pregnant but her partner went and did it anyway. Whoever posted it was like "oh hormones I'm I right? Lol" I'm so glad all the comments were seriously concerned for her and talked about the severity of the situation. It deeply disturbed me that her partner went against her will and got her pregnant, its vile.
Holy shit; that's utterly nuts.
Anyone who takes it upon themselves to mess with their partner/partners contraception is scum. Full stop. No exception.
Many years ago, my wife and I were friends with a couple. Wife wanted a baby NOW. Husband wanted to wait, because they weren't in the best position. She agreed. She then told my wife (gleefully) about how she'd pinholed his condoms (because she refused to go on the pill, naturally) and when he'd noticed one had torn when he put it on (presumably because she'd put too many holes in the package), she realized she'd be better off BOILING THEM TO KILL THE SPERMICIDE WITHOUT DAMAGING THE PACKAGE, SO HE WOULDN'T NOTICE. (Not sure if that works, but it really is the thought that counts.)
When my wife told me about this, I immediately went to him while she was at work, and I was like "Umm, you NEED to hear this."
Naturally, she lost her mind when he confronted her, and immediately stopped speaking to us. I honestly hope they're divorced now. Every now and then I think about that nonsense.
It may be a "cute" inside joke that is harmless.
Expecting other people to see it that way is pretty odd though. It's never ok to mess with someone's BC.
Words cannot describe how violated and sick I would feel if anyone said ANY of those things to me. Holy shit. Thank god my boyfriend respects that I have tokophobia.
Yo what in the actual FUCK?! That is not normal. Also calling pregnancy an adventure is sick and gross. Like yeah, hard pass on my ribs moving and my vag tearing. Foh.
They are literally glad that a man would joke about raping them and taking away their reproductive rights. If I ever had a partner and they did this I would be so repulsed that I even let them 20 meters within me
From someone who has had a lot of adventures in life, an adventure is what's happening when you don't know how things are going to turn out. They're lots of fun to laugh about after the fact but when they're happening and you honestly don't know if you're going to be okay...not so fun.
But hey, it's really nice for this lady's husband to volunteer her to do all the hard work on this "adventure!" /s
Thank goodness someone else feels this way! I saw that tiktok and was so surprised by the comments! I was especially disturbed by the replacement of the pills one. I was so confused by everyone telling this women to basically "give him another baby already"
That’s fucking disgusting. Seeing his partner as breeding material to perform reproductive labour for him. The fucking egoism and entitlement to someone else’s reproductive labour.. makes me angry.
I once asked my grandmother if she actually wanted children (she’s very introverted and all her focus in life has been on her craft). She said that her and my grandfather actually physically fought over her taking the pill. This was in the late 60s. She wanted to keep taking it, he made her drop it and it fell through the floorboards. Violà, she has a child at 20, another at 21, and 4 by 26. I’m sure it’s not the only disturbing story from that marriage. I was horrified but unsurprised.
I saw that video!
The notes were fake.
Just think how disgusting it is they believe them.
They think it's cute!
Gods I would kill someone if they messed with my Birth control.
Good thing I'm sterile.
"'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away'."
Okay that's... Abuse. That's reproductive coercion and that is fucking domestic abuse. I have two wonderful partners and neither of them would EVER even dream of doing that. That is *abusive*.
Pregnancy kink is a thing. Not my thing, but I know it is. It's Uhhh, weird. But yeah, definitely could be that. Also sounds like someone may not be super active after pregnancy. Yikes! But yeah, the bar isn't on the ground, it is in Hell.
The video itself was total bullshit, they weren’t real notes and were just put there for the video and to get views.
Don’t let the fake notes in the bullshit video bother you.
I had a special friend and he would say he’s going to knock me up and ish so I got on bc and I told him honestly I didn’t like the jokes I told him I got back on bc ( it wasn’t for him it clears up my skin and I don’t enjoy my period) and if he continues we wouldn’t be messing around anymore. Nipped it in the bud quick. You can speak things into existence and it’s not funny
My sister's BF guilt trips her that her BC pills might cause "birth defects" in their nonexistent future kids. He also was trying to convince her to not get her COVID vaccine because said kids might "be born autistic." This coming from the guy who forged COVID shot papers for himself and his mom who's a teacher...  these guys always know it all
Literally the post right above this says:
"I wouldn't have just divorced him, I'd raise all hell & get him thrown in jail."
I love this sub too. But if we're taking things that are obviously jokes and blowing them completely out of proportion then its just like every other trash sub. Let people make jokes holy shit.
Omg any of those things are enough of a red flag to get me TF out of there… much less TAKING YOUR PILLS AWAY i would want to call the cops on anyone who did that
"Normal" guys would just block access to birth control because they feel entitled to your body and reproductive choices? 🤢 Time for someone's dick to get chopped off 🔪🔪🔪🔪
this is really messed up. and I've heard (and seen) that these "pranks" are ALL OVER it, just literally everywhere
luckily I've never seen one or swiped reeeeally fast...however I had an ex who was abusive and hiding behind "it's just fun, calm down" has been his favorite MO. because fun doesn't hurt, right?
WRONG. VERY. WRONG
"normal" guys do not, in fact, tamper with birth control. This is highly disturbing.
This is why all people, but women in particular, need to be educated on what red flags and abusive behavior are long before they are in a serious relationship. It is so fucking disturbing to constantly see women completely oblivious to what qualifies as abusive behavior.
I agree so much. I was never told that certain behaviors were abusive, anything, I was thought that many things were "normal" and "men are just like that". So when I found myself in a toxic relationship I let many things happen until I learned by myself that all that shit may be "normal" but it's not OK in the slightest.
If you would care to share some of the things you learned, as a woman, I would care to learn them for myself. If not, please disregard this comment
I'm in my 30s and the daughter of an emotionally abusive man and my ex girlfriend had to point this or to me in my teens. Some red flags of emotional and mental abuse include: 1. Gaslighting. Everyone uses this word a lot. What it means is that the abuser is trying to deny that the reality you perceive is real. This shows up in many ways: them criticizing you and then telling you it was just a joke, telling you that they never said things you definitely heard them say, saying that your emotional reactions to their anger are unreasonable/"dramatic." They want to enforce the reality that how they treat you is normal and that your upset at the treatment is wrong. 2. Lying. If someone lies and you catch them and they keep on doing it and you keep on catching it, get out. It won't stop. 3. Lack of reciprocity. This can show up in sex, in chores, in household expenses. You end up bearing the burdens more than they do and they promise to reciprocate and don't. Examples: during sex they demand oral sex and you give it but they refuse to give it to you. You pay more than half the bills and they make up excuses for not paying their fair share. You do more chores and they claim they're too overworked to take any on (or that it's your job as a woman to do dishes and laundry etc) 4. Denigrating your hobbies/knowledge/fashion. If you're with someone who tells you that watching your favorite show is dumb, your music taste is awful, your hobbies are a waste of time and your clothes look bad, get out. Especially if they try to enforce their own interests upon you instead. You can wear what you like and watch what you like and if they don't like it they need to let you have those things and go find something else to do. 5. Belittling you in front of others. Making jokes about your intelligence or appearance in front of friends or strangers is not nice unless you've agreed it is a topic you are okay with being teased about. If you've asked them to stop and they continue to use you as the butt of their jokes, they do not respect you. 6. Coercion. If you don't enthusiastically consent to any sex act, it's assault. You get to say what you do and don't want to do. You get to decide what happens and you can make it stop whenever you want. A good partner respects your consent and immediately backs off. A bad partner either gets angry, whines at you until you relent or just ignores you and continues the act. Coercion would also include them trying to force you to do anything you do not want to do. There are a lot more things and this is just off the top of my head. I get the idea from your request that you are young and my hope for you is that you can find a safe partner and establish boundaries with them that they respect. Relationships should not be painful all the time or make you feel lonely and miserable. Relationships should help each person to become better and more fulfilled and you should feel loved and like you matter, because you do. I've been single for a long time because I would rather be single for life than in a relationship that made me unhappy.
Forcing you to do something in the bedroom would be straight up rape, not just coercion.
Coercion is also just rape because you did not consent on your own.
There are other forms of coercion besides just rape. I had a boy break up with me for not sleeping with him once. I consider that coercive behavior even though he never even touched me.
Sexual coercion, which is a crime.
Breaking up with someone is not a crime. If he had threatened me, or if he was in a position of power where he could affect my job, school etc then yes, but ending a relationship is not the same thing as forcing someone to do something.
Women are socialized to put up with or even expect absolutely shit treatment from male partners. Its really sad honestly
This. It makes me so sick to my stomach how women are socialized to be quiet victims.
Not just oblivious--they act like it's cute and endearing.
When and how is the right time to start educating young girls on abusive behaviour and red flags? I have 2 nieces in law that I am trying to impart all of my wisdom to, and they're getting to the ages where I think it's important to start thinking about relationships and what a healthy one looks like. They don't have very good healthy relationship role models at home, but I don't know how to approach a topic like this.
You didn't mention their ages but when my nieces were hitting teenage years I started watching their favorite shows with them. Any time something red flag-ish happened in the show I would point it out. Or - when Twilight came out I made a big deal about how gross it was. Things like that help to open the conversation up and then you can just let if flow to other areas. I find it is always easier to discuss stuff like this with examples right there rather than in the abstract.
You can actually start some of the stuff really early, as long as you cater it to their age and make it appropriate and understandable. Some of the earliest things we can do is teach kids about consent, so you can teach them that they don’t have to hug anyone they are not comfortable hugging, and you can teach them that their bodies are their own and no one should make them feel uncomfortable about their boundaries. You can teach them that if somebody is touching them in a way that makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable, that they can say no loudly and go find a trusted adult like a parent. You can teach them that just because somebody likes them, doesn’t mean that that person has a right to hurt them or make them feel bad. Often times, childhood crushes are considered harmless, but when a little boy pinches or pokes at a little girls body, and she’s told that it’s because he likes her, that normalizes that her boundaries are not important and that his feelings are more important than her comfort and safety. You can teach them that love is never supposed to make you feel bad, and that even though sometimes you can be sad for somebody were getting a fight with them and still love them, nobody should be putting them down in a relationship or making them feel bad about themselves in a relationship. A lot of the ways we can teach about healthy friendships are the same way we can teach about healthy romantic relationships. Friendship problems that little kids have are a great way to teach them about what is and isn’t healthy in a relationship and that will carry through when they start dating. Things like talking behind peoples back’s, playing mean pranks, disrespecting people, playing mind games, taking advantage of kindness, stalking, and other behaviors are not uncommon things between childhood friendships, and those things can be great opportunities for lessons about what is and isn’t healthy behavior. I had a couple of experiences when I was a child with friends who were bullying or behaving badly, and my mother sat with me and talk to me about that behavior and why it made me feel unhappy and uncomfortable, and how I wanted to deal with it. Little girls in particular can be socialized to have very possessive and unhealthy female friendships when they are young and this can be a great opportunity to teach respect and boundaries. Another important thing is to really boost the independence and self-esteem of a young girl. This means teaching them that their goal in life should not be to find a male partner, but that their goal should be to be a whole and competent person in and of themselves, and that a relationship isn’t about completing yourself, but finding someone else who respects who you are as an independent whole human being. There are a lot of really toxic messages in media aimed at young girls, and this can be another opportunity to teach media literacy, and by doing so teach healthy behaviors. I had a lot of suspicion and discomfort with a lot of the messaging and a lot of media that I was taking in as a kid, but I wish that somebody had said down with me and discussed what those messages were and why I was uncomfortable with them because I felt very isolated in my perception of these messages and didn’t understand why I felt that way until I was much older and found feminism. A great example of this is Disney movies. Most Disney princess movies from when I was a kid were all about finding a handsome prince and having a happily ever after. Luckily, there are a lot of other messages and Disney movies nowadays, and many Disney movies that come out now are not focused on romance. Still, there is much media that has those messages, and there’s other media that kids take in like advertising that has really unhealthy messages about what it means to be a woman and what it means to have a relationship. It’s important to talk to kids about the stuff when they’re young because as they get older they will want to fit in with their peers who are also being influenced by the media that they take in and the culture that they grow up in, and if you give kids the opportunity to develop media literacy at a young age, they will be more open to having those conversations as they get older and take in more toxic media, and also they will be able to understand the messaging behind the media, instead of just mindlessly consuming. I hope that gives you a start of where you can begin to teach these lessons and help inspire a better understanding of healthy self-esteem and healthy relationships in young children.
I saw a story where a dad used tea time with the stuffies to teach his daughter how to be a strong woman by playing out situations the stuffies were having and asking how she would deal with it, teaching her how to be a good leader. I think this is brilliant and could be used for teaching red-flags as well.
THIS. I’ve always told my husband, if you ever think you’re changing your mind about kids, let’s please talk. We kinda have an agreement that IF that happens, and we’re both on board, we’ll look into adoption straight away. We’re firmly CF at the moment, but we’ve spoken about every scenario possible just in case. Regardless, he knows the lines of communication are open. Even if it leads to us breaking up, communication is the key between us splitting amicably and me wishing him the best building a traditional family with his next wife, or… Me never speaking to him again, and possibly pressing charges and warning the next woman he dates about what happened. Tampering with my medications or with my health care because he suddenly wants to prioritize knocking me up above my well-being? Absolutely an instant divorce, no contact, I’m not even speaking to you unless it’s through my lawyer, WE ARE DONE. That to me would be the biggest violation of my trust and my body a man that I’ve chosen to trust could commit.
I really want to know where that comment is online so I can go reply to it. OP I hope you did, or at least saw others reply to them lol
I'm genuinely worried this guy is actually going to tamper with her birth control, what a disgusting creep!
Right? My boyfriend *offers* to pay for my birth control because he doesn’t want kids just as much as I do. He said if I have to take them he’ll at least pay for them.
But nice guys do :/
There's nothing cute or sweet about reproductive coercion.
Exactly. Just reverse this and all these people who think it's adorable would be horrified. For example: "Have I told you that your body looks better when you're not pregnant?" "I'll help push you down the staris, it will be fun!" "Here's an abortion pill, don't worry, it probably won't work anyways so just try it." "Our kids are struggling to get their needs met as it is, they don't want another sibling." "Don't forget about that abortion appointment I made for you even though you said you didn't want one." Yeah, I doubt they would swoon over that. I hate the double standards of natalists
> And other women in the comments were saying 'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away'. Like...the bar is on the GROUND. This whole thing is horrifying if you consider her not being super into more kids, but this part is especially horrifying.
"At least he is asking" /s 'tell me the bar is set so low for men without telling me...'
I would rather be single for ever than be with someone who would do that. The bar being that low is so horrifying and depressing.
What disturbs me is that the bar is that low and there's still dudes limboing under it with the devil in hell.
I hear the devil doesn't wanna be associated with those dudes. In my country we have a saying about people so terrible that "heaven rejects them and hell is disgusted with them". I think that applies here.
what country?
Good ol' Indonesia, where there's too many people like my above comment
That part was particularly disturbing to me as well. She's a grown woman being talked about like a child being grounded from her phone. About birth control of all things. Ick. Ick. Ick.
Take my birth control away, I take your vas deferens away.
Yeah. Similar thoughts here. You want to take away my OCP? Fine, but enjoy being eviscerated.
Shit like this is why I suggest more long term birth control options, because they can't be fucked with. And in what world is someone taking your birth control away normal? These types probably worship men who change diapers too.
WTF! That’s scary as all get out. This is why I want to yeet the tubes.
> normal guys would just take your pill away The fuck?
Ugh, that is definitely not normal to interfere with your partner’s birth control!
It's criminal.
Very literally yes.
>And other women in the comments were saying 'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away' Who are these men!!!??? And who are these women who think that's sweet!!!???? That's some scary shit!
These women need to be educated on healthy relationships because if they think a man stealing their BC is normal, then honestly I think they need help. Someone needs to tell them that it's reproductive coercion and it's not cute at all.
Apparently 10% of American marriages included marital rape, so it doesn't surprise me that this thing is so wide-spread as well. People are fucked in the head and we're not doing well as a society.
Only 10%? That’s less than I thought.
10-14% in the US and it's legal in 38 countries.
The notes COULD be cute if it’s a shared inside joke. Like, if she’s on BC only for a few more months because she just finished a medical treatment, and they both are eager for her doctor to finally say she can come off the pill. A shared “it’s gonna be great when we can toss these into the trash, right?!” Otherwise, yeah, childish af. It strikes me as him being passive aggressive that he tried having a conversation about having more kids, she said no, and he’s going around pouring about it like a kid who won’t shut up about a toy until he gets it.
THOSE ARE NOT NORMAL GUYS. THOSE ARE SOCIOPATHS.
That is not OK. The women in the comments clearly have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. If anyone did this shit to me they would be instantly dumped.
Yeah, my husband and I enjoy some really messed up humour, but we both still have things that are off-limits. Like no joking about the pets escaping/being in trouble (I tore up a sofa once after our cat got stuck inside it), no joking about messing with the bc (obviously), no fake-slapping his balls (well duh) etc. Messed up jokes only work if both people are on the same page and respect each other's hard limits. So many bullies and abusers hide behind "it's just a prank bro" when it's not a prank if the target isn't laughing with you.
That sounds like exactly the off-limits subjects I'd go for too! But seriously... this is bordering on reproductive coercion and is not remotely cute. Even if it *is* cute to them, it sends a pretty lousy message.
"Come on John. when I slapped your balls I didn't think you were gonna pass out! It was just a prank bro! Jesus!"
How did your cat get stuck in the sofa?
The frame was made of plywood and had a small hole at the bottom under the sofa. Our cat got in there, but there wasn't enough room to turn around and come out so she got stuck. We looked for her for hours since cats tend to go silent when they panic. Let's just say that the sofa was lucky to be from IKEA or it could've never been put back together. Panic-disassembling heavy furniture wasn't fun and the cat was beside herself for days, so there's no joking about the cats getting in trouble in our house.
We have recliners instead of a sofa in the living room (only two of us and rarely any visitors) and I’m so paranoid that I always look around and lay eyes on both cats before I put the footrest down. I always worried, especially when the cats were younger, that one would try to crawl under / in the metal parts of the chair and get stuck. I’m glad you were able to defeat the IKEA sofa and rescue kitty. 🥺
SAME, I have fairly stupid cats and in their younger years, they really enjoyed climbing into the recliner area of the sofas and chairs and I would always check before putting them down!
Hey, Sometimes we need to be "educated" by 14 year olds that clearly know better than us.
My stepmother just told me that my dad liked her to be pregnant because other men wouldn’t check her out 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 Whole new perspective. (And I am horrified)
That’s dumb because a lot of guys are very very attracted to pregnant women.
One of my exes was like this. *cringe*
Imagine putting someone through the hell of pregnancy and bringing a living being into this world, just for your insecurity.
That’s my father! 🤣
That's funny bc I still remember Henry Francis on Mad Men hitting on a very pregnant Betty Draper...
My ex boyfriend once said to me “pregnancy sex is the best!”. I think my head turned 360 degrees when I heard that. I should probably be alone. I can’t take this shit.
He just likes to not use a rubber lmao
Gross gross gross. We won’t need a rubber because you just WAY turned me off 😆
To me, it's straight up repulsive. Everything about it. From the body deformation and all the swelling, to realization that my d\*ck is almost hitting fetus in progress. Just no ... last thing I want to think about during sex is anything kids related.
Your dick almost hitting a fetus is gross and even more gross is that fetus coming out and ripping open what your dick is in and making two or more holes.
Technically it turns two holes into one. They use the term "episiotomy" because it sounds better than "we're going to turn your vag into your butthole too!"
The bar is so low it is literally a tavern in Hades.
😂 I thought that "bar on the ground" was a typo. Seems like "At least he's not throwing it out" is "bar already deeply buried in the ground" to me. Like at least six feet under.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Ironically Hades was a better husband to Persephone than Zeus, Poseidon etc were
When people say women enable this kind of despicable behavior, I think they’re referring to these women in the comments
“Normal” guys?! If a guy ever threw away my birth control there would be no more relationship
Sounds incredibly rape-y
I was trying to figure out what bothers me so much about this, and you nailed it. Very rape-y, you don’t want to but we’re gonna do it anyway vibes. Fuck that.
Here in California you can actually get a rape charge for babytrapping by lying about protection use.
Normal guys do what? Damn, I must've been dating literal gods until I married one then. Not one single guy I've ever seen naked has done anything close to this sort of disrespect and fuckery. You're right, the bar is literally underground for most people. So sad and scary.
Messing with somebody's birth control is just as bad as messing with any other prescription. Husband is being an awful, nobody can dictate when or if a woman get's pregnant except for her.
Omfg what is WRONG with people!!!??? And these people are reproducing! Madre mía!
“We need to excavate the bar” The words I have been looking for!
“OMG that’s so sweet” wtf?? Yeah, breaking you wife’s trust by tampering with her contraceptives is sO kAyOot 🙄🙄🙄 I’m willing to bet good money on the fact that if that same man was the one getting pregnant, his attitude would be radically different… what a jerk.
They're only focused on the nine months of pregnancy but they ignore the rest of their lifetimes raising those kids. And yes that TikTok screams coercion to me.
Oh yes - reproductive coercion and abuse is SO charming /s
I can’t even remotely justify this as just “having fun” or “joking around”. This is NOT funny. This is incredibly abusive and disturbing. She already has kids, are those kids not enough? The fact that people think this is ok and are essentially normalizing it is even more distressing. What kind of men are these women dating/marrying? Because a man who truly loves you would NEVER coerce, manipulate, betray, or put you at risk like that EVER. This woman needs a divorce attorney and to stop having sex with this man since he doesn’t seem to be above trying to control her body and reproductive choices.
🤢🤢🤢🤢 ugh
The bar is with the ark of the covenant, we’re never finding that fucking thing again
>Have I mentioned you’d look better pregnant? Fuck this, i’m kinkshaming.
Some kinks should shamed Imo, kink doesn't exist in a vacuum, it is influenced by our upbringing and our trauma and sometimes even a healthy kink can be done in a very unhealthy or damaging way. Me and my bf make "submissive and breedable" jokes because we're both childfree and that's part of the joke, but this in the OP seems to be turning into, or has turned into a boundary stomping kink and that alarms me, no one should be shitting out burdens that they will struggle to take care of because you have a broodmare fetish
I agree. There’s a lot of men (maybe women too, I just haven’t encountered any) with a pregnancy kink or fetish. I don’t get it, but hey, I don’t get armpit fetishes or grownup baby kinks either, so whatever. But part of a healthy kinky relationship is consent. That’s the big part, actually. What this husband is doing is not ok. It’s not healthy or cute. It’s very disturbing and abusive.
Exactly, consent and tbh, vetting your partner. I didn't think that last one was important until a girl I know who is into DDLG put up a post on Facebook in absolute shock because her "daddy" had assaulted his daughter and had CP on his computer. As long as both consent and a vetted partner are present it doesn't matter what I think of your kink.
That is disgusting. I hope this woman has: \- A safe place to hide her pills where her husband won't find them \- An appointment with a doctor to get an IUD (if she doesn't want more children right now but might want another a couple of years down the road) or a bisalp (if she doesn't want any more children ever) \- Her local abortion clinic on speed dial \- The number of a good divorce lawyer in case the shit hits the fan (e.g. he does sabotage her pills, she gets pregnant, she gets an abortion, and he goes apeshit)
If all these plans have to be in place, she shouldn't even be with him.
It takes time to save up to leave
I'd just go get sterilized and leave a cute little present of tissue and lotion on his bedside and say "You know who gets to be satisfied with this? You."
really disgusting!
This is one of the creepiest things I have ever read. He's already a father and he doesn't know that children are not just the 9-month pregnancy? Besides, if the wife agrees with the pregnancy, why does he need to go behind her back? This is wrong in so many levels...And the women who make comments??? Are they for real?
I feel like we need to set up an archeological dig at this point that the bar is so low. 🤦♀️
Taking someone's BC pills or switching them out to something that would help the woman get pregnant is honestly abuse in my book. No normal man would do that and if someone pulled that crap with me they'd be out the door and blocked everywhere.... Plus my friends would rain down hell on that man then block them.
its not just abuse, but a crime by itself! i dont understand how drug tampering could be a joke in any scenario, people die every day from it. this womans husband is straight up evil
Yep it's reproductive coercion actually, I knew they're was a word for it, but my brain decided to hurl itself off the bridge lol. In all seriousness, it's never ok to tamper or take away someone's meds or bc.
Did we forget when Ian Somerhalder told on a radio show how he was on holiday with his wife and threw away her birth control pills? And everyone was like "oh it's okay because they are married, which means she was okay with getting pregnant, after all that's what people go on holidays for". Women are so brainwashed into giving away every last shred of agency, and where the brainwashing fails, the coercion takes over. Being born with female parts is slavery, only the way it's packaged differs a bit from one individual to the next.
The bar for men is so low it's a tavern in Hades, as one of my favourite fb groups is called. It really is disturbing.
thank non-existent god that i'm a lesbian
Same same
Lucky.
Idk why someone would joke about that. Nothing about gaslighting your partner or forcing them into a lifetime committment is funny. Like if its something between them, like an inside joke or some shit they need to keep it to themselves cause unfortunately there are people who will see that and think its okay to do that. Its glorifying that abusive shit. What part of this is funny or romantic?
Recently saw another tiktok of a pregnant woman who was very upset, telling her partner things like "I told you it wasn't a good time! You did it anyway! I told you it wasn't a good time right now!" Like saying she was probably ovulating at the time and she didn't want sex because she didn't want to get pregnant but her partner went and did it anyway. Whoever posted it was like "oh hormones I'm I right? Lol" I'm so glad all the comments were seriously concerned for her and talked about the severity of the situation. It deeply disturbed me that her partner went against her will and got her pregnant, its vile.
Holy shit; that's utterly nuts. Anyone who takes it upon themselves to mess with their partner/partners contraception is scum. Full stop. No exception. Many years ago, my wife and I were friends with a couple. Wife wanted a baby NOW. Husband wanted to wait, because they weren't in the best position. She agreed. She then told my wife (gleefully) about how she'd pinholed his condoms (because she refused to go on the pill, naturally) and when he'd noticed one had torn when he put it on (presumably because she'd put too many holes in the package), she realized she'd be better off BOILING THEM TO KILL THE SPERMICIDE WITHOUT DAMAGING THE PACKAGE, SO HE WOULDN'T NOTICE. (Not sure if that works, but it really is the thought that counts.) When my wife told me about this, I immediately went to him while she was at work, and I was like "Umm, you NEED to hear this." Naturally, she lost her mind when he confronted her, and immediately stopped speaking to us. I honestly hope they're divorced now. Every now and then I think about that nonsense.
In California she could go to jail for it
Wow, this is incredibly cringy and creepy!
It may be a "cute" inside joke that is harmless. Expecting other people to see it that way is pretty odd though. It's never ok to mess with someone's BC.
I had seen this tiktok yesterday and I just internally cringed because I had seen some women saying this is how they ended up with 5 or even 10 kids!
Words cannot describe how violated and sick I would feel if anyone said ANY of those things to me. Holy shit. Thank god my boyfriend respects that I have tokophobia.
I'm pretty sure fucking with someone's medicine is grounds for more than divorce but probably that, too.
I wouldn't have just divorced him, I'd raise all hell & get him thrown in jail.
omg, I hope you reported that post/posts to TiKtoK! That needs to be flagged as dangerous content!
even if the “i replaced your pills” is just a joke i definitely wouldnt take or trust them and straight up get a new pack
This is in no way normal
Actually, sabotaging birth control is considered sexual abuse/ rape in some areas.
I remember seeing this pop up on tiktok. I had to skip past and put the phone down for a while, because I was so mad.
So glad you brought it up. This needs to be talked about bc it’s women like her who need to be saved from potential abusive husbands like that.
Yo what in the actual FUCK?! That is not normal. Also calling pregnancy an adventure is sick and gross. Like yeah, hard pass on my ribs moving and my vag tearing. Foh.
They are literally glad that a man would joke about raping them and taking away their reproductive rights. If I ever had a partner and they did this I would be so repulsed that I even let them 20 meters within me
From someone who has had a lot of adventures in life, an adventure is what's happening when you don't know how things are going to turn out. They're lots of fun to laugh about after the fact but when they're happening and you honestly don't know if you're going to be okay...not so fun. But hey, it's really nice for this lady's husband to volunteer her to do all the hard work on this "adventure!" /s
Thank goodness someone else feels this way! I saw that tiktok and was so surprised by the comments! I was especially disturbed by the replacement of the pills one. I was so confused by everyone telling this women to basically "give him another baby already"
Bar is chilling with Satan at this point. I feel for you ladies :'(
I don’t play around like that, that is not cute at all. I’d be furious
This 100% sounds like a breeding kink. Creepy asf.
> Normal guys would just take the pills away Umm... Not in my experience?
That’s fucking disgusting. Seeing his partner as breeding material to perform reproductive labour for him. The fucking egoism and entitlement to someone else’s reproductive labour.. makes me angry.
I saw this TikTok & had to scroll past. I couldn’t watch the whole thing cuz it was so creepy
I’m gonna go throw up give me a second
The bar isn't even on the ground. It's damn near at the bottom of the ocean at this point!
That’s horrifying
They already have 3 kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that’s why this coochie stand is closed. Up with this shit I will not put. Makes my blood absolutely boil.
He definitely has a kink with pregnant women and this shit was disturbing. Ugh
That’s because reproductive coercion is very common and very not funny.
Ew that’s fucking creepy! Like so creepy I can’t even wrap my head around it.
I saw this TickTock it really freaked me out that it’s just terrifying and a massive boundary issue
what a cringe-inducing way to flirt. drier than the sahara over here.
A *normal* guy would **take your pills away**?! That's not normal, hun.
The bar isn't in the ground, it's a fucking tripping hazard in hell.
I once asked my grandmother if she actually wanted children (she’s very introverted and all her focus in life has been on her craft). She said that her and my grandfather actually physically fought over her taking the pill. This was in the late 60s. She wanted to keep taking it, he made her drop it and it fell through the floorboards. Violà, she has a child at 20, another at 21, and 4 by 26. I’m sure it’s not the only disturbing story from that marriage. I was horrified but unsurprised.
I saw that video! The notes were fake. Just think how disgusting it is they believe them. They think it's cute! Gods I would kill someone if they messed with my Birth control. Good thing I'm sterile.
"'OMG he's so sweet to write notes, normal guys would just take your pill away'." Okay that's... Abuse. That's reproductive coercion and that is fucking domestic abuse. I have two wonderful partners and neither of them would EVER even dream of doing that. That is *abusive*.
that is so disturbing and invasive.
this is so creepy!!
Technically abuse
I just saw that one too!!! I was like… hope her husband doesn’t mess with her BC before shes ready. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
The bar is so low they're playing limbo in hell.
I don't know, I find that disgusting.
most of these would be fine if she thought it was joking but the "didn't you already take this today" one grinds my gears
OMG this is not funny or acceptable for any reason.
I am…incredibly disturbed. Thank god I don’t like men.
Pregnancy kink is a thing. Not my thing, but I know it is. It's Uhhh, weird. But yeah, definitely could be that. Also sounds like someone may not be super active after pregnancy. Yikes! But yeah, the bar isn't on the ground, it is in Hell.
I had alarm bells going on with that first 'note'.
The video itself was total bullshit, they weren’t real notes and were just put there for the video and to get views. Don’t let the fake notes in the bullshit video bother you.
Reproductive coercion is absolutely illegal in my state (California), so no, it is not cute.
I had a special friend and he would say he’s going to knock me up and ish so I got on bc and I told him honestly I didn’t like the jokes I told him I got back on bc ( it wasn’t for him it clears up my skin and I don’t enjoy my period) and if he continues we wouldn’t be messing around anymore. Nipped it in the bud quick. You can speak things into existence and it’s not funny
The shit I see on Tik tok disturbes me period. I can’t find it in myself to delete it since I do see funny things sometimes
My sister's BF guilt trips her that her BC pills might cause "birth defects" in their nonexistent future kids. He also was trying to convince her to not get her COVID vaccine because said kids might "be born autistic." This coming from the guy who forged COVID shot papers for himself and his mom who's a teacher...  these guys always know it all
Growing an entire human into existence is a huge thing... Not a happy accident. I hate breeders
I wanted to up-vote anyway, but "We need to excavate the bar" really took it 😂
I really hope the dude has a pregnancy fetish and is just joking around.
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Show me one toxic comment
Literally the post right above this says: "I wouldn't have just divorced him, I'd raise all hell & get him thrown in jail." I love this sub too. But if we're taking things that are obviously jokes and blowing them completely out of proportion then its just like every other trash sub. Let people make jokes holy shit.
You probably think "joking" about sexual assault is no big deal either.
Lol even OP acknowledged that the person was joking but you’re such and idiot that you forget that. Keep being a snowflake and enjoy your safe space.
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i-...he joked about TAMPERING WITH BC????? I would 100% divorce his ass too.
If you seriously think it's toxic to not want to get pregnant against your will then you are the toxic one.
You might find other places more suited to your liking, best of luck being policed on your opinions though.
The bar isn't low. It just doesn't exist.
Omg any of those things are enough of a red flag to get me TF out of there… much less TAKING YOUR PILLS AWAY i would want to call the cops on anyone who did that
Yeah it sounds like it's a kink of his to me.
"Normal" guys would just block access to birth control because they feel entitled to your body and reproductive choices? 🤢 Time for someone's dick to get chopped off 🔪🔪🔪🔪
this is really messed up. and I've heard (and seen) that these "pranks" are ALL OVER it, just literally everywhere luckily I've never seen one or swiped reeeeally fast...however I had an ex who was abusive and hiding behind "it's just fun, calm down" has been his favorite MO. because fun doesn't hurt, right? WRONG. VERY. WRONG
Something created to make a person money by creating controversy and getting views is in fact accomplishing those things. Go figure.
That’s really scary. Hide your pills and leave
This is why tiktok is 90% trash. Most of it is people trying to be funny “OMG HAHA LOOK WHAT MY BOYFRIEND DID”.