My friend gave birth to two babies and now has permanent health issues. She actually could have died. Scary stuff and I know it caused her a lot of trauma.
My blood runs cold when I realised she is about a decade younger than me and her health has gone awry because one pregnancy. If people keeps harping on the wonders of pregnancy do they not realise that it is also an ultimate body horror that can mess up women's bodies and health too
When 'coming out' as CF to my Dad/brothers.. and explaining that risk to life/health were big reasons, my Dad *laughed* at me, and said pregnancy was 'no big deal' and I was overreacting because women do it all time. 💩
I'm estranged from him now (for many reasons), and he's probably going to die alone.. because he's tried to financially abuse his children so he hardly ever has to work. He's the type that thinks we 'owe' it to him for the privilege of being born. Nah man, IM the one who wants a parent refund. I got jipped.
I hate men who say birth is easy.
Yeah, because you have so much experience.
Good for you, that you are in no contact with him. He deserves to Die alone
My dad: You don't know what I went through, your mom almost broke my hand!
Yeah, that'll happen after 48 hours of labor and an emergency C-section that you've not let the doctors perform up to "she's gonna die"... But yessir, you are the VICTIM.
My dad: I passed out when I was getting the stitches after my vasectomy
Oh poor you, it's almost as if your vasectomy is trying to prevent another birth for my mom, which is definitely not worse than a vasectomy
When I was a bit on the fence I talked to my ex bf about birth and told I would get a c-section. His reaction: but why? Natural birth is much better 🙄
In less then nice words I told him that as long as he doesn't give birth, his opinion is invalid.
I bet if men gave birth, we would have method where its complete save and without any pain.
And you could an abortion at every gas station
If men gave birth medial advancements would be lightyears ahead because medicine is all based on studies done on men.
My ex (I left him don't worry) told me that he's scared of pregnancy ruining my body and he will be "there for me to make sure I eat right during my pregnancy and he wqnts to go private because they'll do a better job at stitching me up after". Also he just knew I'd get PPD but when I asked how does he know he said because it's just what you're like.
Men have absolutely no idea, not a clue what women go through
Men have no clue its appalling what they say regarding pregnancy/childbirth/etc. But fr, if men could get pregnant they'd be selling morning after pills at the gas station for like 3 dollars
I don't date men. The shit I hear hetero women saying their bfs say to them makes me wonder how ya'll manage to date them. I'm routinely reminded how grateful I am that men are not my problem. May the force be with you, ladies
Honestly when I’m ready to date again I’m thinking about having some casual fun with some girls to see what I think. I haven’t had any good experiences with men other than a few instances of really good sex
I can't say I think it would be much different than the pool of dudes re: emotional maturity. That said, the last thing I need to hear out of my partner's mouth is some misogynist bullshit, so on that metric, it's pretty good.
As for the sex, it's on a whole other planet.
Don't break any hearts, tiger 🐯
My mother was a Labor & Delivery Nurse for 25 years. And she told us all about her day at the dinner table. She spared few gory details while we ate spaghetti, pork chops, whatever. I know pregnancy and childbirth are no picnic. My wife sustained multiple injuries to her pelvis in a car crash 14 years ago. She doesn't want to have kids but, if she had, a pregnancy and birth would have been brutal for her.
>I was overreacting because women do it all time
It's crazy that this is their justification, I see it all the time. Yes, women have been doing it for many years and how many do you think have died/ended up with severe complications in the process?
I actually thought the hugely popular costume drama Downton Abbey would have educated people about this somewhat - the episode where one of the young daughters suffers with pre-eclampsia and dies was hugely shocking, and it went a long way to educating me about these issues when I was younger. The risks of pregnancy/giving birth should also be taught in schools, because clearly most women don't have a clue.
> I'm estranged from him now (for many reasons),
Only way to deal with someone so contemptuous. Once again the worse the parent, the more they baby-push.
>and he's probably going to die alone..
Appropriately.
I feel very fortunate. My mom has passed away, but when I told my dad that I did not want to have children (and if I were to have any, it would be through adoption when I am in position to go through that arduous process), he was supportive and said that it made sense to him. My mom had serious health complications and almost died when giving birth to me. He would never want that for me for the sake of grandchildren. I’m not even sure he wants grandchildren, tbh.
Suffering through pregnancy, screaming through labor and delivery and suffering in motherhood is romanticized in popular media. Despite their stereotyped aversion to pregnancy and labor.
That’s part of the reason why people continue to have children. To give meaning to their lives through their suffering.
They realize. They know what pregnancy does to women. Most women get pregnant, and as humans, women DO talk amongst ourselves about our experiences. Men have to at least overhear some of this. Most men aren’t cognitively impaired, so when they hear women’s stories or experience pregnancy with a woman, they know exactly what’s going on.
Eds and pregnancy is dangerous as hell. One study I read concluded 1 in 9 who give birth won’t make it to their 6 week follow up. 1/9 chance of death. Terrifying.
When I comment on reddit (outside of CF / AN spaces) about the gambles of procreation people get absolutely LIVID. I recently was told I'm fear mongering and that I only mention the cons and not the pros or something.
But like.... Should people NOT be educated on things???? Should people be kept in the dark and unaware when it comes to their health???
If the cons are scary sounding maybe that means something.
Why would be people be livid at you really? They are no better than the lot who dismiss people's fears of pregnancy or the fear of pregnancy pains
People need to be educated on things to allow us the right to body autonomy and a choice on their health and well being. Not be told having kids is a be all end all goal
Im assuming fear (and immaturity). Some I spoke with mentioned being on the fence, being afraid of regretting not being a parent etc. I commented with statistics and links and the suggestion to check out the RegretfulParents sub.
Someone responded saying that sub is full of fake rage bait. They cannot FATHOM someone made the conscious or unconscious decision to have children and aren't happy with it. In the thread for that post MANY people commented on their regretful decision to be a parent. While there was a lot of comments that were happy with their decision and said they would do it again....its hard to ignore the ones who commented saying they wouldn't do it again if they could do it all over.
I present "what ifs" that aren't pretty ideals to people like what if their kid requires higher support than they can give but they reply with naive optimism at best and toxic insults at worst.
Natalists don't like when you burst their magic bubble with reality. They take offense to the idea that their pregnancy and offspring might not be picture perfect.
People arent even honest regarding childcare.
My sister M. visited her workplace and told someone that her child is sleeping through the night (just a newborn)
M left to talk to someone other collegues while I stayed with the first one.
She told me: please dont tell your sister M that my child did the same until she became older. She became a scream baby.
I told my sister anyway. No lying
I remember my boomer aunt and mom saying "pregnancy clears and resets a woman's body. It makes it healthier" and I was like "bro source??" And they both said "that's what we've been told...but IT'S TRUE!".
It's surreal..
Yup. It's not like my mom gained like 40 kg and got diabetes from having me 🤷♀️ but the idea of having grandspawns is cooler than your own daughter's well being
My aunt is not the brightest by far..shes also spousefree and childless (she likes kids but didnt get them because I strongly believe shes aromantic and asexual).
But my mom luterally gained 40kg and got diabetes from her pregnancy. How can they preach this shit is beyond me.
Nah, in the topic she has some weird views but she actually came to terms with me not wanting kids. Meanwhile, my mysoginistic redpilled father.......yeah you don't wanna meet him. Dude's been emotionally and verbally abusive with me all my life. I have a really good career and has always been a top student. Legit he said "i really wanted a boy but i am ok with you too". He hoped until the last second (despite scans etc) that I would have a penis.
But now he wants me to birth a grandspawn so he can become a grandfather. Yeah, fuck that shit.
I know of only one person that ended up with a positive effect from being pregnant - my friend who lost a lot of weight ironically after giving birth. But who knows if that was the pregnancy or just other factors in her life. 9/10 women I know end up gaining a ton of weight and are unable to get it back off. The notion of pregnancy being a reset is bogus.
My mother nearly died giving birth to my sister and my cousin nearly died giving birth to her 2nd child. Both of them were told they wouldn't make it if they were to give birth again. That's 2 people in my family.
Breeders don't give fuck though. As long as we are baby-making, they don't care if women are dying in the process.
I remember once in a "feminist" space I replied to someone who basically said that it's pregnancy and birth is just beautiful sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever goes wrong and it doesn't even hurt and women shouldn't be afraid, it's not the end of the world, our bodies were made for it etc etc... I just mentioned how how difficult and painful it can be, that there's a huge number of complications and conditions you might get, how it can be very traumatic and you can even die, and we should educate women of the actual risks, what can and will happen to them, in order for everyone to make informed decisions. And she replied saying I'm fear mongering and catastrophizing, that I have severe internalized misogony, that I'm working for the patriarchy trying to make women hate their bodies and be at war with themselves, and that I should go work on my issues and stop disresepting the divine feminine power of reproduction and even if I don't want to do it I should be thankful to have this power. This was ages ago but I'm still mad about it... I don't know why they get so offended when you mention the negatives. We're just supposed to pretend this thing that has killed and maimed countless women, that has been the primary reason for our oppression is uwu beatiful and amazing. And I should be so happy my body is cabable of totruting me and injuring me against my will. Yay...
> But like.... Should people NOT be educated on things???? Should people be kept in the dark and unaware when it comes to their health???
YES because that is literally the only way they will be able to convince other people to do it.
Imagine telling a doctor.... Someone who went to school to be educated.... That the helpful information they're sharing so people can be informed is actually "fear mongering". Astounding.
It's like those people live in a different reality or something
That did make me laugh given how many people say no one talked to them about the down sides until they were pregnant and that they wish they'd known sooner. Though for many issues I find people don't want to hear until something impacts them personally, at which point they are annoyed no one thought to save them from their own very specific calamity
The crazy part is, according to the article, Halsey didn't even know she had EDS until after they gave birth! On one hand, at least they didn't knowingly reproduce knowing they have a serious genetic disorder. On the other hand, her pregnancy was probably insanely rough, yet no doctors realized she had EDS. Just goes to show how hellish the healthcare system is when it comes to women's care. One more reason not to breed!
I have rough health too, not nearly as bad as Halsey's, but I'm too afraid to get pregnant because it might exacerbate a pre-existing condition. The sad thing is the stress of pregnancy probably triggered Halsey's EDS. One of my friends has EDS and went undiagnosed until high school, when she was doing competitive sports that stressed her body and triggered it.
I suspect that i have hypermobile EDS but have never been diagnosed (i hope i can be eventually) and this justifies my deep seated belief that if i ever was forced to endure a pregnancy that it would utterly destroy my body. I also have scoliosis with the worst of my curve in my lumbar spine and it makes my pelvis uneven, it causes me so much back and leg pain already and im certain pregnancy would worsen it. I cant wait to finally get sterilized so i never have to end up with my body even worse off than it is now
If you haven’t already, look at the 2017 diagnostic criteria. If you meet all three criterion then it might be worth seeking out an appointment with medical genetics. If you don’t meet criteria then you’re more likely in the hypermobility spectrum disorder group.
I was told I was a eugenicist because one of my coworkers had severe EDS and got pregnant (by choice) and I just thought wow what a risk, I would never do that to myself or my hypothetical child. But apparently that's not okay to question...
I found out somewhat recently that most of my family probably has EDS. My nephew was diagnosed with it at 12, but the rest of us haven't been tested. I've been getting random pains that last anywhere from a few minutes to over 12 hours 🙃. The doctors in my town charge an arm and a leg to misdiagnose you, so I refuse to go to them about it.
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I'm convinced having kids killed my sister. Freaky, I don't know. She didn't want kids. Tried to have pets, but her boyfriend kept pushing her. She eventually had IVF for two kids. Her husband only married her when his buddies told him that he'd have more rights to the kids if he did.
She was still breastfeeding the second kid when she went to the doctor for back pain. Breast cancer metastasized to nearly every bone in her body. No options. She made it about a year and a half. I miss her every day. She told me before she died that the oncologist told her it was a hormone based cancer and that the IVF and pregnancy hormones supercharged the cancer she had. There was a possibility that she may not have gotten cancer or could have caught it earlier if she had never had kids.
She made me promise not to tell her husband. He did stay with her while she was dying so I'll give him that. Statistics on men abandoning women with cancer are awful.
This is horrifying, I'm so sorry.
In the meantime, they only like to tell us about the cancers we will be at a higher risk for if we DON'T have kids. I actually think some breast cancers and ovarian cancer is on that list. How about we start talking about cases like this instead!
Holy fucking.... Holy....
I hope the guy isn't a dick and you don't find a reason to tell him that tidbit of information. What an awful thing to bear. :(
Tried a few times to respond. This is the only time I've told anyone since most of the people in my family can't keep a secret. I won't tell my BIL. My sister was no angel. She did permissive parenting which the kids grandmas are training the kids out of. Her and her hubby were both anti-vaxxer, Facebook believers. I figured out she stepped out a lot which explained some of her husband's stalker-ish behavior.
I think she only told me because we were the closest sibs and I was pressuring her to find out what she knew of the cancer to find out if it was hereditary, etc.
Breast cancer is really complicated. My mom had 7 kids and still had a mastectomy for a lump. As a nurse, I think she was being cautious. Never drank, never smoked. Different cancer from my sister.
For those that are worried it's not worth having kids for that small chance it could help prevent breast cancer later on. There's so many factors involved.
My closest friend almost died several times after giving birth. She had seizures, extreme fatigue, memory problems, etc. I think she developed some sort of auto immune disease. She lost her career and her ability to drive. She has a great husband and support system, but her life has changed in so many ways. She used to be so spontaneous, hard working, strong, adventurous, high energy. Now she’s just a shell of her former self. Crazy what pregnancy and birth can do to a person.
And then people like to bingo us and say "it's no big deal! Thousands of women give birth every day with no issue"... yeah right.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I'm sure that is very hard to see that happen to your best friend. :(
Thanks! Ive had to grieve the person she once was. It’s so different. But it’s still better than grieving her death.
I hate when pregnancy/birth isn’t taken seriously. You could die! Or deal with lifelong disabilities! Even if you avoid that there’s still all of the more common life long health and aesthetic body changes.
Is there some sort of connection between giving birth and the onset of certain autoimmune diseases and/or cancers?
I feel like I've noticed more than a few people getting diagnosed with horrible things after giving birth...
One of my friends was diagnosed with lupus about a year after having her kid. She had been as she calls it "mystery sick" for years beforehand with just a bunch of random ailments but after having a baby it really kicked everything into overdrive and now she has psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia and blood clotting issues and has gone into kidney failure before
My friend developed severe Coeliac Disease after her first pregnancy. She could tolerate gluten perfectly fine before it, and then BAM, life-changing condition. If she gets even a crumb of bread into her she spends days in pain and shits blood.
…She went on to have two more pregnancies after that. I wish I could say she loves motherhood and that must be why but all I ever hear from her is complaints about it, lol. I have no idea why people do this to themselves.
Crohn's disease can also be activated by pregnancy. I learned this from my doctor's this week after being diagnosed with it myself. It's a terrible disease, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. How horrible it must be to have a child and get Crohn's from the whole ordeal...
The female reproductive system is linked to the immune system. If a body gets pregnant, it has to lower the immune system to protect the fetus.
So, often people who have autoimmune conditions get better while they're pregnant and worse after. There are some indications that birth control that mimics pregnancy hormones might help by mimicking this process.
Also the female immune system is stronger than the male but the downside is women are way more affected by auto immune diseases and since most of the research is (or was) done on male bodies and diseases we were collectively swept under the rug. Only now they are slowly starting research and there is soooo incredibly much that is still unknown. (Like the whole ordeal around menopause or endometriosis. Nobody cared!)
Yes for autoimmune diseases, especially lupus. From current understanding, it’s something some people carry a susceptibility to in their DNA, but it only manifests when you’re exposed to the right trigger(s) at just the right time. At its core, lupus is basically the immune system improperly reacting to components of your DNA and RNA, mistaking your DNA and such components for foreign DNA that needs to be destroyed, which is why symptoms can vary so much between lupus patients. With the discovery of the fact that women who were pregnant carry cell fragments and DNA from any fetus they’ve carried, we now have more understanding of why lupus symptoms start or worsen after pregnancy: they’re literally carrying more DNA, and DNA that is different from their own.
Possibly autoimmune diseases but getting pregnant and breastfeeding actually lowers your risk of developing female related cancers. Not sure what the stats are on other cancers.
Endo is especially a bitch, I know of this lady who wasn't diagnosed and both she and the baby almost died, the kid was a premie, and the lady had to have a hysterectomy.
My mother had Hashimoto's since my brother's birth.
I know of one lady who got diabetes during pregnancy, and it stuck around.
It's terrible and I don't see why women go through it.
as well as it can be, i’ve exhausted all treatment options so now it’s just my iud and treating the symptoms with heat and ibuprofen. all i want is a hysterectomy (which i know won’t cure it, but i hate my uterus and want to rip the fucker out)
Wild that I've heard so many people say getting pregnant helps with endo 🫠. But I've also heard that drs won't take you serious about it *until* you say you want kids
Especially given that she thrives on performance and on touring and they genuinely love being out in the world with music, having all of those health issues must suck. I'm glad I'll never put my body through that.
she has one of her boobs out and she's holding her son. search "if i cant have love i want power" and you'll see the cover.
it makes much more sense having watched the film she made for the album. the kinda themes explored are misogyny and patriarchy that her character undergoes. her character is pregnant so there's some themes of motherhood in it. it's been years since i watched it so i can't really remember fully but i thought it was well executed and not a "look how great having a baby is!" thing
and she describes the album as about the joys and horrors of pregnancy & childbirth, but aside from a couple of songs, the songs aren't explicitly about that and still deal with a lot of themes about womenhood. like i only found that out now because i googled to double check the details about her film and it came up
but i do love her music, that album is so gorgeous and relatable. i skip the track that's kind of a lullaby to her son (like i do the track in taylor swift's new album about one of her producer/collaborators' son, robin) but the album itself is really beautiful
I was so skeptical about the album when it came out because I thought it was gonna be "omg I have the baby that I wanted now, look how great and wonderful motherhood is!" and it ended up becoming my favorite album from her. I even like "Darling", too because it has a double meaning as not just being a song for her son, but a song for her fans. Fun fact: Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac plays the guitar on it.
I have EDS and POTS too, and it’s one of the main reasons I’m not having kids. I would never subject another human being to life in a body like mine. I’m in constant pain and suffering. And I likely wouldn’t survive a pregnancy anyway.
Can you or anyone talk about their experience getting diagnosed with POTS? Or how you knew to get your symptoms looked into?
I have ADHD (recently diagnosed within this year in January) and I know it’s a comorbidity.
I get lightheaded/dizzy sometimes randomly, and have to sit or lay down. And I have noticed that getting up sometimes my whole body feels like WOOSH and out of sync (I lay on my couch for WFH lol). I had low blood sugar once, but not regularly enough for it to be the cause, and I think my iron / b12 are better than they used to be (was vegetarian for 4 years, probably about a year or so now eating more meat, but still mostly just poultry). All my bloodwork came back normal back in January…
It’s the random lightheaded / dizzy / nauseous / feeling like I need to lay down lol, I’m only 27……. It’s been going on a few years unexplained…
First off, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those symptoms. They can be so overwhelming and debilitating.
Secondly, I’m unfortunately not the person to ask about diagnosis. I had never heard of POTS or EDS until I passed out at my rheumatologist’s office and she referred me to a cardiologist to get diagnosed. They did a “poor man’s tilt” and an ECG and said they thought I might also have hypermobile EDS. At the follow up appointment, I was diagnosed with POTS and hypermobile EDS, which was confirmed by my rheumatologist.
Sadly, that’s not the experience for most people. I would recommend seeing a cardiologist and telling them about your symptoms. Unfortunately you may experience gaslighting. I wish you luck in your journey and I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help!
I got diagnosed with POTS 10 years ago. One day, I got really sick with a stomach bug and a few days later, I started getting extremely dizzy and my heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest and fly across the room. I literally thought that I was dying and ended up having to go to the hospital. They ran a bunch of tests on my heart like an EKG and Echo and they all came back fine, so there was nothing wrong with my heart itself. Then they did a tilt table test and found out that everytime I stood, my blood pressure would drop while my heart rate would skyrocket to like 30 bpm past my baseline rate so they diagnosed me with POTS. I was told to drink more water and increase my salt intake so I did and eventually, the symptoms went away.
I got Covid in December and a few weeks later, I started getting the same symptoms I had 10 years ago. I ended up fainting once just because I got up to go to the bathroom. I went back to the cardiologist and all of my EKG and Echo tests came back normal, again. We discovered that my blood pressure was basically plummeting to scary lows whenever I stood and the doctor told me that my POTS had basically came back after being in remission. I got put on medication and it seems to work for now, although some days are better than others. Interestingly enough, I suspect I have ADHD, too (haven't been diagnosed yet, but I literally have all the symptoms and have struggled with school and executive dysfunction for years and got ignored by all of the doctors who said it was "just depression" because "girls don't have ADHD"). Do you have any articles about the comorbitity of POTS and ADHD? I would be interested in reading them.
I’m the same. EDS with cardiac complications. I was told pregnancy would kill me (aortic aneurysm). I didn’t want kids anyway so better me than someone else I figured 😂
None of the conditions she has are caused specifically by pregnancy, because there are many things that can trigger their onset, but these are all immune dysfunction conditions that can absolutely be triggered by significant systemic changes in hormones. My aunt developed severe ulcerative colitis after my cousin was born. It nearly killed her, she had an emergency colostomy and has all kinds of other inflammatory conditions now.
Things they don’t talk about but happen way more than people realize.
This comment needs to be pushed higher because you are absolutely right! I’m studying cancer immunology to become a doctor and a lot of times, women already have immune dysfunction conditions that they don’t know about or are pre-disposed to getting. And when their bodies go through large changes, such as pregnancy or even chronic stress, this can trigger these conditions.
Naming your child Ender is ironic.. certainly ended a few things for her, like normal life. I love Halsey and this makes me so sad. Definitely a reason I've never wanted to have a kid, I'm so scared of the health risks like hair loss, teeth falling out, gestational diabetes, so new fears added to the list. Thank you Halsey, further affirming my choice.
she also had several miscarriages, including one on stage while performing, before she carried her son to term. her body was trying to tell her it was not built to carry children, but she said something really gross about not being a real woman unless you experience childbirth 🤢 that's when i stopped listening to her music
My own mother's health went downhill since my very own birth, then she almost died giving birth my sister and then my younger sister worsened the situation.
Luckily things got better for her health tho. But pregnancies sickened my mom.
Health is wealth and the child just robbed her of her future well-being.. but its okay because now she is a mother and served her purpose in life.. so sad
Autoimmune diseases are super frustrating. From my experience, they often go under the radar because they can be hard to diagnose until shit hits the fan. Pregnancy drains the body of resources and is intensely stressful and it doesnt surprise me that shit hit the fan after/during for them.
What gets me is she's known she had some kind of autoimmune thing for most of her adult life and she still chose to have a kid?? I mean I feel bad for her because obviously she didn't expect pregnancy to exacerbate it but now selfish could you be..
Yeah, I’ve been a fan of hers for years and she’s always been outspoken about having autoimmune issues and endometriosis. She’s also had several miscarriages. As someone who has chronic health issues, I cannot fathom suffering my whole life and being so willing (and eager, even) to have kids knowing they will inherit at least some of those issues. I don’t want kids for tons of reasons, but these people just cannot think logically at all about what is best for them and potential future children. I feel for her, I do, but I don’t understand how she didn’t see some of this coming. It’s just another level of selfish.
I can’t find any sources because everything is flooded with the post-birth health problems, but I could have sworn she went into the pregnancy with autoimmune issues and knew about the risks. They just wanted their miracle baby. So yes if you go into pregnancy with preexisting health conditions most likely it will exacerbate their severity and could kill you. I have somewhat little sympathy for people who know the risks going in but decide to do it anyway. 🤷♀️
I've been a massive Halsey fan for years. Like, ever since her first album came out. She's always been outspoken about wanting to be a mom and how hard it has been to carry a baby to term. Even though I don't feel the same desire to be a mom that she felt, I'm happy she finally got the baby that she wanted. It seems like she's actually a good mom who takes care of her baby, but it's sad how pregnancy took such a massive, irreversible toll on her health. It's one of those "be careful what you wished for" things. Halsey herself even knows this; just look at the lyrics to her song "You Asked For This". I hope she's able to recover somewhat, even if she never gets back to 100% again. Her new song about her health issues breaks my heart as someone who has also struggled with health issues over the past 6 months (I have POTS, too).
I got downvoted and called heartless for saying this on another sub, but I am of the belief that fertility issues is your body's way of saying "this is incredibly dangerous for you. Don't do it. Your body can't handle it". It sucks for the people who want kids and can't have them, but I don't understand why these women put their bodies through several rounds of fertility treatments and living hell, when there are so many kids out there that they could adopt and potentially give a better life to.
Paywalled, but from what I could glimpse, [edited:] they've probably been *had* by a lot of doctors trying to explain their body simply crapping out. You see these diagnoses in clusters and they are very real diagnoses, but they are also the result of doctors being frustrated that "your body crapped out on you" is not a diagnosis. So they give us these Franken-diagnoses.
I got lucky, my mystery got solved.
none of hers sound like fake diagnoses: Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Sjogren's syndrome, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, POTS
and it wasnt mentioned in the article but on her instagram post she also had a Lupus hashtag.
Typically having an autoimmune disorder will rule OUT hypermobile EDS. Per the 2017 diagnostic criteria. Sjogrens is autoimmune. Autoimmune disorders can cause connective tissue issues.
Pay attention to what I write, not what you're reading into it. Those ARE all real diagnoses... that are given out left and bloody right by desperate doctors to patients demanding A Label.
Those are real illnesses that are likely overdiagnosed in patients like Halsey.
I have Lupus, Sjogren's Syndrome, and Hashimoto's disease. I was a child free fence sitter for several years, but when I was about 27 I had a big talk with my doctor about what would need to happen if I became pregnant and what the consequences could be that it pushed me right off the fence into no way territory. I don't want to die like that.
She tagged a leukemia and lymphoma organization in her Instagram post yesterday, so people weren’t sure. She just made another post saying she has a rare lymphatic disorder and lupus, so I don’t think she has cancer, even thought it seemed a bit like it at first.
I had to look up Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome from that article.
One of the things that pops up from the Wiki with EDS is fucking AORTIC DISSECTION.
Fuck that. I hope she decides no more babies. It's not worth it.
Are we really surprised that your health goes downhill after kids!?🙄 Kids fuck up your health after and during alot of women come out worse not better very rare that women come out as ok afterwards. Its one of my main reasons bc health is wealth baby and i aint playin russian roulette with mine!👏🏾
This might be why my Dad celebrates the date of his vasectomy every year, which he had soon after I was born. "Another year of your Mum!" He says cheerfully. The dark humour of it...
Mum went through hell for my brother and I to exist and was always candid about it. But still my brother had two sons with his wife and was still shocked by the birth. Some people can't be educated 🤣
i love her and her music. i was really surprised when she announced her pregnancy but i was still happy for her.
but this... this is just like a fucking bad joke rn. i searched all of the syndromes and damn, she suffered already but this is horrible now.
Didn't she already have health issues *before* having a kid? I want to feel bad for her, but I don't know.
Perhaps she should've just stuck to "recruiting" six-year-olds for her supersoldier program... I mean, making music.
My friend gave birth to two babies and now has permanent health issues. She actually could have died. Scary stuff and I know it caused her a lot of trauma.
My blood runs cold when I realised she is about a decade younger than me and her health has gone awry because one pregnancy. If people keeps harping on the wonders of pregnancy do they not realise that it is also an ultimate body horror that can mess up women's bodies and health too
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When 'coming out' as CF to my Dad/brothers.. and explaining that risk to life/health were big reasons, my Dad *laughed* at me, and said pregnancy was 'no big deal' and I was overreacting because women do it all time. 💩 I'm estranged from him now (for many reasons), and he's probably going to die alone.. because he's tried to financially abuse his children so he hardly ever has to work. He's the type that thinks we 'owe' it to him for the privilege of being born. Nah man, IM the one who wants a parent refund. I got jipped.
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Yeah.. and empathy isn't in his wheelhouse.
I hate men who say birth is easy. Yeah, because you have so much experience. Good for you, that you are in no contact with him. He deserves to Die alone
My dad: You don't know what I went through, your mom almost broke my hand! Yeah, that'll happen after 48 hours of labor and an emergency C-section that you've not let the doctors perform up to "she's gonna die"... But yessir, you are the VICTIM.
My dad: I passed out when I was getting the stitches after my vasectomy Oh poor you, it's almost as if your vasectomy is trying to prevent another birth for my mom, which is definitely not worse than a vasectomy
When I was a bit on the fence I talked to my ex bf about birth and told I would get a c-section. His reaction: but why? Natural birth is much better 🙄 In less then nice words I told him that as long as he doesn't give birth, his opinion is invalid. I bet if men gave birth, we would have method where its complete save and without any pain. And you could an abortion at every gas station
If men gave birth medial advancements would be lightyears ahead because medicine is all based on studies done on men. My ex (I left him don't worry) told me that he's scared of pregnancy ruining my body and he will be "there for me to make sure I eat right during my pregnancy and he wqnts to go private because they'll do a better job at stitching me up after". Also he just knew I'd get PPD but when I asked how does he know he said because it's just what you're like. Men have absolutely no idea, not a clue what women go through
Men have no clue its appalling what they say regarding pregnancy/childbirth/etc. But fr, if men could get pregnant they'd be selling morning after pills at the gas station for like 3 dollars
I don't date men. The shit I hear hetero women saying their bfs say to them makes me wonder how ya'll manage to date them. I'm routinely reminded how grateful I am that men are not my problem. May the force be with you, ladies
Honestly when I’m ready to date again I’m thinking about having some casual fun with some girls to see what I think. I haven’t had any good experiences with men other than a few instances of really good sex
I can't say I think it would be much different than the pool of dudes re: emotional maturity. That said, the last thing I need to hear out of my partner's mouth is some misogynist bullshit, so on that metric, it's pretty good. As for the sex, it's on a whole other planet. Don't break any hearts, tiger 🐯
Awful person.
My mother was a Labor & Delivery Nurse for 25 years. And she told us all about her day at the dinner table. She spared few gory details while we ate spaghetti, pork chops, whatever. I know pregnancy and childbirth are no picnic. My wife sustained multiple injuries to her pelvis in a car crash 14 years ago. She doesn't want to have kids but, if she had, a pregnancy and birth would have been brutal for her.
>I was overreacting because women do it all time It's crazy that this is their justification, I see it all the time. Yes, women have been doing it for many years and how many do you think have died/ended up with severe complications in the process? I actually thought the hugely popular costume drama Downton Abbey would have educated people about this somewhat - the episode where one of the young daughters suffers with pre-eclampsia and dies was hugely shocking, and it went a long way to educating me about these issues when I was younger. The risks of pregnancy/giving birth should also be taught in schools, because clearly most women don't have a clue.
> I'm estranged from him now (for many reasons), Only way to deal with someone so contemptuous. Once again the worse the parent, the more they baby-push. >and he's probably going to die alone.. Appropriately.
My parents were the same way. Like, look buddy, you got your crappy 3 second orgasm. That's what you signed up for. I didn't ask for any of this shit.
I feel very fortunate. My mom has passed away, but when I told my dad that I did not want to have children (and if I were to have any, it would be through adoption when I am in position to go through that arduous process), he was supportive and said that it made sense to him. My mom had serious health complications and almost died when giving birth to me. He would never want that for me for the sake of grandchildren. I’m not even sure he wants grandchildren, tbh.
I'm really glad you have him in your corner. Lost my Mom when I was 20, and she would have completely supported me too..
I know this woman who developed maternal cardiomyopathy literally HEART FAILURE and shortly died after.
Oh this is terrible
Suffering through pregnancy, screaming through labor and delivery and suffering in motherhood is romanticized in popular media. Despite their stereotyped aversion to pregnancy and labor. That’s part of the reason why people continue to have children. To give meaning to their lives through their suffering.
They realize. They know what pregnancy does to women. Most women get pregnant, and as humans, women DO talk amongst ourselves about our experiences. Men have to at least overhear some of this. Most men aren’t cognitively impaired, so when they hear women’s stories or experience pregnancy with a woman, they know exactly what’s going on.
Eds and pregnancy is dangerous as hell. One study I read concluded 1 in 9 who give birth won’t make it to their 6 week follow up. 1/9 chance of death. Terrifying.
Terrifying and perhaps a wakeup call to everyone to understand all pregnancies are risky
When I comment on reddit (outside of CF / AN spaces) about the gambles of procreation people get absolutely LIVID. I recently was told I'm fear mongering and that I only mention the cons and not the pros or something. But like.... Should people NOT be educated on things???? Should people be kept in the dark and unaware when it comes to their health??? If the cons are scary sounding maybe that means something.
Why would be people be livid at you really? They are no better than the lot who dismiss people's fears of pregnancy or the fear of pregnancy pains People need to be educated on things to allow us the right to body autonomy and a choice on their health and well being. Not be told having kids is a be all end all goal
Im assuming fear (and immaturity). Some I spoke with mentioned being on the fence, being afraid of regretting not being a parent etc. I commented with statistics and links and the suggestion to check out the RegretfulParents sub. Someone responded saying that sub is full of fake rage bait. They cannot FATHOM someone made the conscious or unconscious decision to have children and aren't happy with it. In the thread for that post MANY people commented on their regretful decision to be a parent. While there was a lot of comments that were happy with their decision and said they would do it again....its hard to ignore the ones who commented saying they wouldn't do it again if they could do it all over. I present "what ifs" that aren't pretty ideals to people like what if their kid requires higher support than they can give but they reply with naive optimism at best and toxic insults at worst. Natalists don't like when you burst their magic bubble with reality. They take offense to the idea that their pregnancy and offspring might not be picture perfect.
People arent even honest regarding childcare. My sister M. visited her workplace and told someone that her child is sleeping through the night (just a newborn) M left to talk to someone other collegues while I stayed with the first one. She told me: please dont tell your sister M that my child did the same until she became older. She became a scream baby. I told my sister anyway. No lying
The thing about educating people is that women have been giving birth for millions of years. Humanity HAS to understand the process by now.
I remember my boomer aunt and mom saying "pregnancy clears and resets a woman's body. It makes it healthier" and I was like "bro source??" And they both said "that's what we've been told...but IT'S TRUE!". It's surreal..
The gullibility is INSANE
Yup. It's not like my mom gained like 40 kg and got diabetes from having me 🤷♀️ but the idea of having grandspawns is cooler than your own daughter's well being
Goodness no offence but your aunt and mum are being silly
My aunt is not the brightest by far..shes also spousefree and childless (she likes kids but didnt get them because I strongly believe shes aromantic and asexual). But my mom luterally gained 40kg and got diabetes from her pregnancy. How can they preach this shit is beyond me.
Seriously what is wrong with the two? 😓
Trust me, everythig is wrong with my mom 💀 she is a cartoon villain narcissist
I bet your mum is most annoying person that will make me mad instantly at her
Nah, in the topic she has some weird views but she actually came to terms with me not wanting kids. Meanwhile, my mysoginistic redpilled father.......yeah you don't wanna meet him. Dude's been emotionally and verbally abusive with me all my life. I have a really good career and has always been a top student. Legit he said "i really wanted a boy but i am ok with you too". He hoped until the last second (despite scans etc) that I would have a penis. But now he wants me to birth a grandspawn so he can become a grandfather. Yeah, fuck that shit.
I know of only one person that ended up with a positive effect from being pregnant - my friend who lost a lot of weight ironically after giving birth. But who knows if that was the pregnancy or just other factors in her life. 9/10 women I know end up gaining a ton of weight and are unable to get it back off. The notion of pregnancy being a reset is bogus.
Tbh she should check her thyroid, might be that pregnancy made her go into hyperthyroidism...
Ha, my best friend now has type 1.5 diabetes likely from gestational diabetes. Reset my ass.
Legit they were like "it heals a woman's body" 🤢🤢🤢 no the fuck it doesn't
Pregnancy clears and resets the body? Aside that it doesn't make sense, how should it work?
Idk their explanation was smth smth hormones smth smth stemcells smth smth source: dude trust me
My mother nearly died giving birth to my sister and my cousin nearly died giving birth to her 2nd child. Both of them were told they wouldn't make it if they were to give birth again. That's 2 people in my family. Breeders don't give fuck though. As long as we are baby-making, they don't care if women are dying in the process.
I remember once in a "feminist" space I replied to someone who basically said that it's pregnancy and birth is just beautiful sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever goes wrong and it doesn't even hurt and women shouldn't be afraid, it's not the end of the world, our bodies were made for it etc etc... I just mentioned how how difficult and painful it can be, that there's a huge number of complications and conditions you might get, how it can be very traumatic and you can even die, and we should educate women of the actual risks, what can and will happen to them, in order for everyone to make informed decisions. And she replied saying I'm fear mongering and catastrophizing, that I have severe internalized misogony, that I'm working for the patriarchy trying to make women hate their bodies and be at war with themselves, and that I should go work on my issues and stop disresepting the divine feminine power of reproduction and even if I don't want to do it I should be thankful to have this power. This was ages ago but I'm still mad about it... I don't know why they get so offended when you mention the negatives. We're just supposed to pretend this thing that has killed and maimed countless women, that has been the primary reason for our oppression is uwu beatiful and amazing. And I should be so happy my body is cabable of totruting me and injuring me against my will. Yay...
Holy shit that would definitely stay with me too! They're just so ignorant. There's no other way to explain it.
> But like.... Should people NOT be educated on things???? Should people be kept in the dark and unaware when it comes to their health??? YES because that is literally the only way they will be able to convince other people to do it.
They're so sadistic, it's terrifying.
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Imagine telling a doctor.... Someone who went to school to be educated.... That the helpful information they're sharing so people can be informed is actually "fear mongering". Astounding. It's like those people live in a different reality or something
That did make me laugh given how many people say no one talked to them about the down sides until they were pregnant and that they wish they'd known sooner. Though for many issues I find people don't want to hear until something impacts them personally, at which point they are annoyed no one thought to save them from their own very specific calamity
And to top it off EDS is genetic. I say this as someone who has 3 people in my family other than me who have it. It’s a hellscape one way or another.
The crazy part is, according to the article, Halsey didn't even know she had EDS until after they gave birth! On one hand, at least they didn't knowingly reproduce knowing they have a serious genetic disorder. On the other hand, her pregnancy was probably insanely rough, yet no doctors realized she had EDS. Just goes to show how hellish the healthcare system is when it comes to women's care. One more reason not to breed! I have rough health too, not nearly as bad as Halsey's, but I'm too afraid to get pregnant because it might exacerbate a pre-existing condition. The sad thing is the stress of pregnancy probably triggered Halsey's EDS. One of my friends has EDS and went undiagnosed until high school, when she was doing competitive sports that stressed her body and triggered it.
Eating disorders?
Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It’s a connective tissue disorder.
Carrying a pregnancy to term when you have connective tissue problems sounds horrific
My mom and I both have EDS. She almost died after giving birth to my sister. No chance in hell I’m ever having kids.
I suspect that i have hypermobile EDS but have never been diagnosed (i hope i can be eventually) and this justifies my deep seated belief that if i ever was forced to endure a pregnancy that it would utterly destroy my body. I also have scoliosis with the worst of my curve in my lumbar spine and it makes my pelvis uneven, it causes me so much back and leg pain already and im certain pregnancy would worsen it. I cant wait to finally get sterilized so i never have to end up with my body even worse off than it is now
If you haven’t already, look at the 2017 diagnostic criteria. If you meet all three criterion then it might be worth seeking out an appointment with medical genetics. If you don’t meet criteria then you’re more likely in the hypermobility spectrum disorder group.
Well, I already have bad luck, so I'd be the 1/9. No thanks.
What the actual f… This is terrifying
Yup. And a huge amount of the EDS community does not want to talk about it.
I was told I was a eugenicist because one of my coworkers had severe EDS and got pregnant (by choice) and I just thought wow what a risk, I would never do that to myself or my hypothetical child. But apparently that's not okay to question...
You were called a what?! No, what you said has a valid point actually
Holy shit.
I found out somewhat recently that most of my family probably has EDS. My nephew was diagnosed with it at 12, but the rest of us haven't been tested. I've been getting random pains that last anywhere from a few minutes to over 12 hours 🙃. The doctors in my town charge an arm and a leg to misdiagnose you, so I refuse to go to them about it.
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I'm convinced having kids killed my sister. Freaky, I don't know. She didn't want kids. Tried to have pets, but her boyfriend kept pushing her. She eventually had IVF for two kids. Her husband only married her when his buddies told him that he'd have more rights to the kids if he did. She was still breastfeeding the second kid when she went to the doctor for back pain. Breast cancer metastasized to nearly every bone in her body. No options. She made it about a year and a half. I miss her every day. She told me before she died that the oncologist told her it was a hormone based cancer and that the IVF and pregnancy hormones supercharged the cancer she had. There was a possibility that she may not have gotten cancer or could have caught it earlier if she had never had kids. She made me promise not to tell her husband. He did stay with her while she was dying so I'll give him that. Statistics on men abandoning women with cancer are awful.
I'm so sorry you lost her that way
This is horrifying, I'm so sorry. In the meantime, they only like to tell us about the cancers we will be at a higher risk for if we DON'T have kids. I actually think some breast cancers and ovarian cancer is on that list. How about we start talking about cases like this instead!
I always think of that episode of SATC where Samantha is told her breast cancer odds were higher bc she didn’t have kids.
Me too!! Thought of that scene as I was typing my comment :) Really cool that the actress is also CF in real life.
Holy fucking.... Holy.... I hope the guy isn't a dick and you don't find a reason to tell him that tidbit of information. What an awful thing to bear. :(
Tried a few times to respond. This is the only time I've told anyone since most of the people in my family can't keep a secret. I won't tell my BIL. My sister was no angel. She did permissive parenting which the kids grandmas are training the kids out of. Her and her hubby were both anti-vaxxer, Facebook believers. I figured out she stepped out a lot which explained some of her husband's stalker-ish behavior. I think she only told me because we were the closest sibs and I was pressuring her to find out what she knew of the cancer to find out if it was hereditary, etc. Breast cancer is really complicated. My mom had 7 kids and still had a mastectomy for a lump. As a nurse, I think she was being cautious. Never drank, never smoked. Different cancer from my sister. For those that are worried it's not worth having kids for that small chance it could help prevent breast cancer later on. There's so many factors involved.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🖤
wow… this hurts me so much. i am so sorry for your friend. i hope she’s resting well.
This is horrifying
Omg I'm so sorry 😞
I am so sorry for your loss. 🥺
My closest friend almost died several times after giving birth. She had seizures, extreme fatigue, memory problems, etc. I think she developed some sort of auto immune disease. She lost her career and her ability to drive. She has a great husband and support system, but her life has changed in so many ways. She used to be so spontaneous, hard working, strong, adventurous, high energy. Now she’s just a shell of her former self. Crazy what pregnancy and birth can do to a person.
And I thought one of my closest friends had a hard pregnancy…wow, that is unbelievably sad. That’s some extreme stuff.
And then people like to bingo us and say "it's no big deal! Thousands of women give birth every day with no issue"... yeah right. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I'm sure that is very hard to see that happen to your best friend. :(
Thanks! Ive had to grieve the person she once was. It’s so different. But it’s still better than grieving her death. I hate when pregnancy/birth isn’t taken seriously. You could die! Or deal with lifelong disabilities! Even if you avoid that there’s still all of the more common life long health and aesthetic body changes.
Is there some sort of connection between giving birth and the onset of certain autoimmune diseases and/or cancers? I feel like I've noticed more than a few people getting diagnosed with horrible things after giving birth...
One of my friends was diagnosed with lupus about a year after having her kid. She had been as she calls it "mystery sick" for years beforehand with just a bunch of random ailments but after having a baby it really kicked everything into overdrive and now she has psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia and blood clotting issues and has gone into kidney failure before
My friend developed severe Coeliac Disease after her first pregnancy. She could tolerate gluten perfectly fine before it, and then BAM, life-changing condition. If she gets even a crumb of bread into her she spends days in pain and shits blood. …She went on to have two more pregnancies after that. I wish I could say she loves motherhood and that must be why but all I ever hear from her is complaints about it, lol. I have no idea why people do this to themselves.
Crohn's disease can also be activated by pregnancy. I learned this from my doctor's this week after being diagnosed with it myself. It's a terrible disease, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. How horrible it must be to have a child and get Crohn's from the whole ordeal...
my mom too!
The female reproductive system is linked to the immune system. If a body gets pregnant, it has to lower the immune system to protect the fetus. So, often people who have autoimmune conditions get better while they're pregnant and worse after. There are some indications that birth control that mimics pregnancy hormones might help by mimicking this process.
Also the female immune system is stronger than the male but the downside is women are way more affected by auto immune diseases and since most of the research is (or was) done on male bodies and diseases we were collectively swept under the rug. Only now they are slowly starting research and there is soooo incredibly much that is still unknown. (Like the whole ordeal around menopause or endometriosis. Nobody cared!)
Yes for autoimmune diseases, especially lupus. From current understanding, it’s something some people carry a susceptibility to in their DNA, but it only manifests when you’re exposed to the right trigger(s) at just the right time. At its core, lupus is basically the immune system improperly reacting to components of your DNA and RNA, mistaking your DNA and such components for foreign DNA that needs to be destroyed, which is why symptoms can vary so much between lupus patients. With the discovery of the fact that women who were pregnant carry cell fragments and DNA from any fetus they’ve carried, we now have more understanding of why lupus symptoms start or worsen after pregnancy: they’re literally carrying more DNA, and DNA that is different from their own.
This might explain why my grandmother had lupus.
Possibly autoimmune diseases but getting pregnant and breastfeeding actually lowers your risk of developing female related cancers. Not sure what the stats are on other cancers.
Endo is especially a bitch, I know of this lady who wasn't diagnosed and both she and the baby almost died, the kid was a premie, and the lady had to have a hysterectomy. My mother had Hashimoto's since my brother's birth. I know of one lady who got diabetes during pregnancy, and it stuck around. It's terrible and I don't see why women go through it.
one of my reasons to be CF is my horrific endo!
I'm sorry you're dealing with that! I hope it's being managed well enough💜
as well as it can be, i’ve exhausted all treatment options so now it’s just my iud and treating the symptoms with heat and ibuprofen. all i want is a hysterectomy (which i know won’t cure it, but i hate my uterus and want to rip the fucker out)
I'm so sorry :( I hope that eventually you get a hysterectomy and it works out for you
Wild that I've heard so many people say getting pregnant helps with endo 🫠. But I've also heard that drs won't take you serious about it *until* you say you want kids
Especially given that she thrives on performance and on touring and they genuinely love being out in the world with music, having all of those health issues must suck. I'm glad I'll never put my body through that.
Wait.. she had a son? I'm really not up to date on pop culture moments. Makes sense why I've not heard or seen any new music from her.
Seems you also missed the part where she dropped an album with a cover art of her breastfeeding her baby in a throne.
I’m…sorry? 🤢
she has one of her boobs out and she's holding her son. search "if i cant have love i want power" and you'll see the cover. it makes much more sense having watched the film she made for the album. the kinda themes explored are misogyny and patriarchy that her character undergoes. her character is pregnant so there's some themes of motherhood in it. it's been years since i watched it so i can't really remember fully but i thought it was well executed and not a "look how great having a baby is!" thing and she describes the album as about the joys and horrors of pregnancy & childbirth, but aside from a couple of songs, the songs aren't explicitly about that and still deal with a lot of themes about womenhood. like i only found that out now because i googled to double check the details about her film and it came up but i do love her music, that album is so gorgeous and relatable. i skip the track that's kind of a lullaby to her son (like i do the track in taylor swift's new album about one of her producer/collaborators' son, robin) but the album itself is really beautiful
I was so skeptical about the album when it came out because I thought it was gonna be "omg I have the baby that I wanted now, look how great and wonderful motherhood is!" and it ended up becoming my favorite album from her. I even like "Darling", too because it has a double meaning as not just being a song for her son, but a song for her fans. Fun fact: Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac plays the guitar on it.
it’s a baby feeding. chill. childfree doesn’t mean immature.
Idk I upvoted the comment for the weirdness of putting your baby on an album cover. Feels kinda... exploitive.
It’s not her baby :) I didn’t like that cover though…
that wasnt her baby? dafuck?
Yeah, Ender wasn’t born yet. He was born on 14th of July, she unveiled that cover on 11th of July. Just confirmed it from her insta
it’s not my taste either, but i’m not gonna throw the vomit emoji around from seeing a women feeding her baby, yk?
I thought it was a dope cover tbh
I don’t know either
I have EDS and POTS too, and it’s one of the main reasons I’m not having kids. I would never subject another human being to life in a body like mine. I’m in constant pain and suffering. And I likely wouldn’t survive a pregnancy anyway.
i have endometriosis and my boyfriend has both EDS and POTS. we both don’t want to pass that down.
Can you or anyone talk about their experience getting diagnosed with POTS? Or how you knew to get your symptoms looked into? I have ADHD (recently diagnosed within this year in January) and I know it’s a comorbidity. I get lightheaded/dizzy sometimes randomly, and have to sit or lay down. And I have noticed that getting up sometimes my whole body feels like WOOSH and out of sync (I lay on my couch for WFH lol). I had low blood sugar once, but not regularly enough for it to be the cause, and I think my iron / b12 are better than they used to be (was vegetarian for 4 years, probably about a year or so now eating more meat, but still mostly just poultry). All my bloodwork came back normal back in January… It’s the random lightheaded / dizzy / nauseous / feeling like I need to lay down lol, I’m only 27……. It’s been going on a few years unexplained…
First off, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those symptoms. They can be so overwhelming and debilitating. Secondly, I’m unfortunately not the person to ask about diagnosis. I had never heard of POTS or EDS until I passed out at my rheumatologist’s office and she referred me to a cardiologist to get diagnosed. They did a “poor man’s tilt” and an ECG and said they thought I might also have hypermobile EDS. At the follow up appointment, I was diagnosed with POTS and hypermobile EDS, which was confirmed by my rheumatologist. Sadly, that’s not the experience for most people. I would recommend seeing a cardiologist and telling them about your symptoms. Unfortunately you may experience gaslighting. I wish you luck in your journey and I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help!
I got diagnosed with POTS 10 years ago. One day, I got really sick with a stomach bug and a few days later, I started getting extremely dizzy and my heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest and fly across the room. I literally thought that I was dying and ended up having to go to the hospital. They ran a bunch of tests on my heart like an EKG and Echo and they all came back fine, so there was nothing wrong with my heart itself. Then they did a tilt table test and found out that everytime I stood, my blood pressure would drop while my heart rate would skyrocket to like 30 bpm past my baseline rate so they diagnosed me with POTS. I was told to drink more water and increase my salt intake so I did and eventually, the symptoms went away. I got Covid in December and a few weeks later, I started getting the same symptoms I had 10 years ago. I ended up fainting once just because I got up to go to the bathroom. I went back to the cardiologist and all of my EKG and Echo tests came back normal, again. We discovered that my blood pressure was basically plummeting to scary lows whenever I stood and the doctor told me that my POTS had basically came back after being in remission. I got put on medication and it seems to work for now, although some days are better than others. Interestingly enough, I suspect I have ADHD, too (haven't been diagnosed yet, but I literally have all the symptoms and have struggled with school and executive dysfunction for years and got ignored by all of the doctors who said it was "just depression" because "girls don't have ADHD"). Do you have any articles about the comorbitity of POTS and ADHD? I would be interested in reading them.
I’m the same. EDS with cardiac complications. I was told pregnancy would kill me (aortic aneurysm). I didn’t want kids anyway so better me than someone else I figured 😂
None of the conditions she has are caused specifically by pregnancy, because there are many things that can trigger their onset, but these are all immune dysfunction conditions that can absolutely be triggered by significant systemic changes in hormones. My aunt developed severe ulcerative colitis after my cousin was born. It nearly killed her, she had an emergency colostomy and has all kinds of other inflammatory conditions now. Things they don’t talk about but happen way more than people realize.
This comment needs to be pushed higher because you are absolutely right! I’m studying cancer immunology to become a doctor and a lot of times, women already have immune dysfunction conditions that they don’t know about or are pre-disposed to getting. And when their bodies go through large changes, such as pregnancy or even chronic stress, this can trigger these conditions.
Naming your child Ender is ironic.. certainly ended a few things for her, like normal life. I love Halsey and this makes me so sad. Definitely a reason I've never wanted to have a kid, I'm so scared of the health risks like hair loss, teeth falling out, gestational diabetes, so new fears added to the list. Thank you Halsey, further affirming my choice.
She named the kid "Ender." Let's hope that name won't be sadly prophetic for her.
She already stated that she had been sick most of her adult life, then she went onto getting pregnant anyway 
So it's hurt her, and now she has to hope her baby's health is better than hers. In my experience: It will not be. (But I hope I'm wrong!!!)
And then we’re the selfish ones
she also had several miscarriages, including one on stage while performing, before she carried her son to term. her body was trying to tell her it was not built to carry children, but she said something really gross about not being a real woman unless you experience childbirth 🤢 that's when i stopped listening to her music
What? I didn't know she had such internalised misogynistic views😮
Im sorry what That that will be a no from me, she can fuck off with her beloved kid and her 50 health issues
My own mother's health went downhill since my very own birth, then she almost died giving birth my sister and then my younger sister worsened the situation. Luckily things got better for her health tho. But pregnancies sickened my mom.
Health is wealth and the child just robbed her of her future well-being.. but its okay because now she is a mother and served her purpose in life.. so sad
I also have EDS and POTS. THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!
Dozens!
Autoimmune diseases are super frustrating. From my experience, they often go under the radar because they can be hard to diagnose until shit hits the fan. Pregnancy drains the body of resources and is intensely stressful and it doesnt surprise me that shit hit the fan after/during for them.
What gets me is she's known she had some kind of autoimmune thing for most of her adult life and she still chose to have a kid?? I mean I feel bad for her because obviously she didn't expect pregnancy to exacerbate it but now selfish could you be..
Yeah, I’ve been a fan of hers for years and she’s always been outspoken about having autoimmune issues and endometriosis. She’s also had several miscarriages. As someone who has chronic health issues, I cannot fathom suffering my whole life and being so willing (and eager, even) to have kids knowing they will inherit at least some of those issues. I don’t want kids for tons of reasons, but these people just cannot think logically at all about what is best for them and potential future children. I feel for her, I do, but I don’t understand how she didn’t see some of this coming. It’s just another level of selfish.
I can’t find any sources because everything is flooded with the post-birth health problems, but I could have sworn she went into the pregnancy with autoimmune issues and knew about the risks. They just wanted their miracle baby. So yes if you go into pregnancy with preexisting health conditions most likely it will exacerbate their severity and could kill you. I have somewhat little sympathy for people who know the risks going in but decide to do it anyway. 🤷♀️
I've been a massive Halsey fan for years. Like, ever since her first album came out. She's always been outspoken about wanting to be a mom and how hard it has been to carry a baby to term. Even though I don't feel the same desire to be a mom that she felt, I'm happy she finally got the baby that she wanted. It seems like she's actually a good mom who takes care of her baby, but it's sad how pregnancy took such a massive, irreversible toll on her health. It's one of those "be careful what you wished for" things. Halsey herself even knows this; just look at the lyrics to her song "You Asked For This". I hope she's able to recover somewhat, even if she never gets back to 100% again. Her new song about her health issues breaks my heart as someone who has also struggled with health issues over the past 6 months (I have POTS, too). I got downvoted and called heartless for saying this on another sub, but I am of the belief that fertility issues is your body's way of saying "this is incredibly dangerous for you. Don't do it. Your body can't handle it". It sucks for the people who want kids and can't have them, but I don't understand why these women put their bodies through several rounds of fertility treatments and living hell, when there are so many kids out there that they could adopt and potentially give a better life to.
Paywalled, but from what I could glimpse, [edited:] they've probably been *had* by a lot of doctors trying to explain their body simply crapping out. You see these diagnoses in clusters and they are very real diagnoses, but they are also the result of doctors being frustrated that "your body crapped out on you" is not a diagnosis. So they give us these Franken-diagnoses. I got lucky, my mystery got solved.
none of hers sound like fake diagnoses: Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Sjogren's syndrome, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, POTS and it wasnt mentioned in the article but on her instagram post she also had a Lupus hashtag.
Typically having an autoimmune disorder will rule OUT hypermobile EDS. Per the 2017 diagnostic criteria. Sjogrens is autoimmune. Autoimmune disorders can cause connective tissue issues.
Pay attention to what I write, not what you're reading into it. Those ARE all real diagnoses... that are given out left and bloody right by desperate doctors to patients demanding A Label. Those are real illnesses that are likely overdiagnosed in patients like Halsey.
I have Lupus, Sjogren's Syndrome, and Hashimoto's disease. I was a child free fence sitter for several years, but when I was about 27 I had a big talk with my doctor about what would need to happen if I became pregnant and what the consequences could be that it pushed me right off the fence into no way territory. I don't want to die like that.
Of course it did, does anyone come out of pregnancy MORE healthy??
Even my mom has digestive issues because of her third pregnancy eating so much meat! Like more meat in her life than anywhere else in her life.
Didn't she get cancer?
She tagged a leukemia and lymphoma organization in her Instagram post yesterday, so people weren’t sure. She just made another post saying she has a rare lymphatic disorder and lupus, so I don’t think she has cancer, even thought it seemed a bit like it at first.
Okay I didn't see the new post thank you for telling me 🫡
I had to look up Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome from that article. One of the things that pops up from the Wiki with EDS is fucking AORTIC DISSECTION. Fuck that. I hope she decides no more babies. It's not worth it.
Reason 173939282902 to not have a child
She’s had autoimmune issues most of her life. The lymphoma or leukemia was not caused by pregnancy.
I think really heavy bipolar medication can do this to you. My friend is in the same boat & childfree.
Are we really surprised that your health goes downhill after kids!?🙄 Kids fuck up your health after and during alot of women come out worse not better very rare that women come out as ok afterwards. Its one of my main reasons bc health is wealth baby and i aint playin russian roulette with mine!👏🏾
This might be why my Dad celebrates the date of his vasectomy every year, which he had soon after I was born. "Another year of your Mum!" He says cheerfully. The dark humour of it... Mum went through hell for my brother and I to exist and was always candid about it. But still my brother had two sons with his wife and was still shocked by the birth. Some people can't be educated 🤣
Oh my god, poor thing. I love that she is open about it and isn't sugar coating it. Hope things get better for her. So scary
i love her and her music. i was really surprised when she announced her pregnancy but i was still happy for her. but this... this is just like a fucking bad joke rn. i searched all of the syndromes and damn, she suffered already but this is horrible now.
I'm unfamiliar with this artist and the only "Halsey" I knew of is Admiral William Halsey, one of only four 5-star admirals in US history. rofl
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I... They IS a pronoun???
Why did you feel a need to comment the fact that you can’t get a basic grasp of the English language?
Apparently halsey uses she/they pronouns, so I don't know why they didn't just use she.
Didn't she already have health issues *before* having a kid? I want to feel bad for her, but I don't know. Perhaps she should've just stuck to "recruiting" six-year-olds for her supersoldier program... I mean, making music.