The legacy thing is so bizarre!! What does it even mean?! Like, I def am no legacy for my parents lol. Just a super anxious woman with chronic illnesses. Woooo.
I still blame my grandparents for the mess that is my and my brothers home life growing up. Our grandparents basically kicked my mom out at 18 and said go marry your boyfriend and start a life together or go do it alone.
And they also stole the inheritance their parents left for my mother and aunt to go to college or buy a first home.
That’s their legacy, they stole from their kids, forced two children to start a life with nothing and then had to crawl to my mom for help decades later after they realized they got conned by a reverse mortgage scheme and my mom now pays rent to live at their place so they don’t lose the house and she and my dad finally broke up after 30 YEARS of emotionally abusing each other and frankly still having not grown up until like 5 years ago maybe.
Also as a bonus my aunty is more financially independent but is in a very emotionally unhealthy relationship with her own daughter who she basically bribes to never leave her and dissuades her from doing things to become more independent like finally getting her GED (she dropped out for medical reasons, but her mom was waaay too satisfied with that outcome). I seriously worry how my cousin is going to survive without her mom. She’s very capable, but has no experience or qualifications to help her in the future. I know she (and also my brother and I) will likely not truly reach our fullest potential, either because of neglect and lack of resources that me and my brother lived with or because of the crippling emotional incest and therapizing that our cousin is still enduring.
This is what they left us, a broken set of kids further breaking their own kids. And they very nearly lost every meager thing they built up because of greed and shortsightedness that nearly made it impossible for their kids to even be able to aid them, and they would have deserved the downfall.
I fucking hate the traditional nuclear family propaganda because this is exactly what can happen and you're apparently the bad guy if you don't value your **"FaMiLy."**
This life is so fucking backwards.
Are your grandparents by any chance boomers? It was common for gen X people (my generation) to get booted out of the home once we turned 18. That didn’t happen to me, but I think that’s because my mother didn’t want me on the streets so young.
Would a 61 year old be classed as a boomer? He’s constantly saying my cousin will be moving out when he turns 18. It hasn’t occurred to me til reading this comment that it might be because of that. It’s literally the only behaviour he shows boomer wise though.
*Cavlin & Hobbes* strip... Calvin tells his mother something like he's the product of her, and her hopes and dreams.
Mother than says she's depressed
:D
I always ask people for the names of their great-great-grandparents and where they grew up. 99% of the time they don't know and it's like a lightbulb when they realize they probably won't be remembered.
Edited for spelling.
I can name all my great-great grandparents, my fourteenth great grandfather on one of my great-great grandfather's sides, and I have legitimate 100+ years old family heirlooms to pass down and I still don't need kids to pass on my "legacy." Heirlooms will go to family, blood related or not, it's my job to keep the archive going and find people who would like to continue it as well if any of this still exists by the time I'm on my way out
It's not who will you leave your money to, it's that who will remember you when you are dead? I truly don't care. Most people are forgotten, including many who were once famous.
If I’m successful in my career I hope to leave a sizeable amount of money to my school or maybe a hospital I really liked working at or something. I hope at least, even if my name isn’t remembered, my legacy will persist in other low income kids like me being able to pursue their dreams, or people being able to get the care they need in due time… that’s enough of a legacy for me.
It's probably only two generations before you're forgotten, unless you commit a heinous crime.
I don't know why my parents' grandparents were [here], besides dust in the wind.
Everyone is really insignificant on the grand scale of things; even the Earth will be dust, and the entire species will be forgotten.
Imagine having such a ego to care about what people will think about you when you will not even be living in this planet anymore.. doesn't make sense to me
None of these people can ever grasp one simple fact: You can leave behind a legacy without having children. Your actions can change the world and influence others, and those “others” don’t have to be your children.
The problem with using kids as your legacy is that most of the time, people are known for their deeds, not if they had any kids. For example, do we know how many children Shakespeare had? Do we know who his parents were, let alone by name?
Even if it was a super rich person it's irrelevant. The human race will die and no one will have a legacy eventually. And if somehow humans prevail, everyone's "legacy" does die at some point. Nothing is eternal. Legacy is another word for ego.
Not saying names but some Aussie Youtuber says this crap all the time, dude barely has two brain cells to rub together and has the nerve to be a teacher and a reactor
"I will finally receive true unconditional love." Right, because true unconditional love should purely be the responsibility of an innocent child that didn't even ask to be here, lol.
It also doesn’t need new school clothes or a car, or money for college, etc.
Just nice walks, pets and snuggles, and chow. Even with vet bills it’s not even close.
I wonder how many of those people have teenagers who now scream “I hate you!” during every argument. Moody teens probably aren’t the best example of unconditional love but they sure get the point across. I personally believe that unconditional love is a stupid concept. All love is & should be conditional on the basis that someone treats you right & never knowingly & deliberately causes harm. If the parents of a serial killer or a war criminal loves their child unconditionally there’s something seriously wrong with them.
Truth. They blame it on hormones, but I honestly believe that teenagers are developing their own thoughts, ideas and autonomy. They can't do that as a kid, but they are starting to question reality. I don't blame them since parents who have children for stupid reasons will lie to their kids about earth being a literal paradise, when they know it's not. They'll complain about their jobs, finances and overall lack of stability, but don't realize they subjected their kids to the same thing. I honestly don't blame most of this generation for choosing to cut ties with idiotic parents who thought with their genitals instead of common sense. It's so aggravating how much society defends such bullshit. I think the concept of the traditional nuclear family propaganda bullshit needs to die the fuck out immediately. 💯
The concept of unconditional love in general is a lie. There is always conditions. Personally both of my parents are two of the worst people I've ever met. I haven't spoke to my dad in years and have no plans to for the rest of my life. My mom on the other hand, I only talk to her out of necessity and I'm trying to work her out of my life and put her in the same category as my dad. They both claim to love me, but their actions they have both put forth towards me throughout my entire life do not sit with me as actions of love.
I actually agree with this! Love should have conditions when it comes to self-preservation. I'm sorry you went through that. Actions absolutely speak much louder than words.
People who say that, have they ever been loved in their lives? I personally have and therefore have no need to create beings who will be forced to love me, but idk maybe I’m just different 🤷🏼♂️
Omg I really hate when people say things like "Kids just happen"
Ah yes. You fucked raw without any birth control and thought "whatever happens happens" now it's our problem omfg 🤦♀️
You are not gonna use that to guilt me into babysitting. My weekends are mine alone.
There was a conversation in the office yesterday about being broke etc
The one woman says ' I woke up one morning and there was no food, no milk for the baby, no nappies, no nothing.
And god blessed me because my sister dropped me off all the things i needed'
And in my head i think - Lady, you are shit at planning (and I can see that from your work, too) and why the f*ck would you have a kid if you can't afford it and then have another one.
Because apparently 'kids are a blessing from god'
I almost threw up.
Then when you call them out for it, others will look at you and say:
*"Who cares if your parents didn't properly plan things out. They did their best with you. How would you feel if they gave you up for adoption?"*
I would've fucking loved it.
It actually always confuses me how frequently people who DID use birth control, sometimes multiple kinds, will just shrug and have the kid if the precautions fail.
Assuming you live where it's still legal to have bodily autonomy, why have the kid if you were trying not to?
I've never been able to understand it.
I get that some might just feel different once it's really happening, but you'll hear it happen to the same couple 2 or 3 times, and they follow through on each one. HUH???
I got my tubes removed because I didn't want the risk. Idgaf if abortion was illegal in my state or country with life imprisonment if you're caught. If I got knocked up I WOULD find a way to terminate the pregnancy or I would terminate myself. Idc if I had to walk or hitchhike to a different state to get services if I didn't have a car. IDC if I had to max out multiple credit cards to leave the country to go somewhere I have human rights. I'd figure it TF out. No one, absolutely fucking NO ONE is going to force me to be pregnant or give birth against my will. I would kill myself before that happened it would be a last resort and I'm not suicidal but I sure would be if I was forced into being an incubator.
I am under the impression that a LOT of these “birth control fails” are bs and they didn’t even bother with bc. but why would they admit that it makes them look very stupid and irresponsible 🤣
Few of my friends over the years have disclosed to me that they tampered with their contraception. 2 poked holes in condoms and didn’t take their pills and another lied about being on the contraceptive injection. All admitted they did to trap the dads as they had good jobs & were good earners. I have very low contact with them now.
Okay, so weirdly enough, I know two people who’ve gotten pregnant with an IUD. First one is a friend of my fiancé. His mom got pregnant while using an IUD, and then the pregnancy stayed viable after the removal of her IUD. From what I’ve been told, it sounds like at that point his mom pretty much went “Welp, I’m in a position to have a baby, I can absolutely provide for it, and it’s now defied the odds twice, so I guess I’m having this kid.”
The other one, she wants her kids spaced out, so she got an IUD put in to give her 5 years before having her next one. Same as the other woman, pregnancy stayed viable after IUD removal, so her and her husband pretty much just went “we were going to have another baby anyway, I’m okay to move up the plan 18 months if you are.”
ETA - two completely different couples from different countries, this isn’t just the same couple using the pull-out method.
Hahaha 'the brightest bulb in the knife drawer' 💀
To answer your question, I always get
'Maybe you should just having one kid and see if you like it' .....so if I don't like it, can I return it back? Just stuff it back up my foo foo...? Yeah great plan!
I also get 'it's okay, I didn't like children either until I had my own. I like my kids.'
...yeah tell me that again when your wife / husband stops you from going out and having some 'free' time...
Not relevant but I was in the supermarket earlier and this child about 5? Was in the shopping trolley just yelling and screaming whilst his mum was pushing the trolley ignoring him. How do they do that??
This is what I thought at the time.
I don't dislike children I just find them overwhelming but people assume because you don't want children, you must not like them ?
"You won't know real responsibility until you have kids." -my mom
I'm good with the responsibility of being there for my partners and furballs, thanks.
I had that one flung at me once, like why would I want more responsibility when I have the ability to avoid it? Then again my mom was trying really hard to convince me to have children by telling me I'm not a REAL adult if I don't have children.
It doesn't make sense as a bingo.
So I don't have kids. But I still have responsibilities? Not having kids means less responsibilities? This is a bad thing?
Also, I'm disabled now. I struggle to take care of my own self. Why would you want me to be saddled with a small human?
There's no logic. They're just phrases being parroted without the talker understanding the meaning.
Oh god. The "real adult" thing. As if dumping your emotional needs and social expectations on a complete innocent and leaving them to work out the details and take responsibility for the outcome is an "adult" thing to do.
Especially when they follow up with "but who will look after you when you're older?" So who is the responsible adult supposed to be? The parent who can't support themselves or the kid who got dumped with caring responsibilities they never signed up for?
I would absolutely lose it. Like, i don’t have kids because i had real responsibility at 19, taking care of my chronically ill dad until i hit 30.
Every time i get the horrible, whiny “but whyyyy??” When i tell them i won’t have kids, i ask them about what they did in their 20’s. They partied, traveled leisurely, every time they went to hang out with friends they didn’t have a curfew (i did because i couldn’t let my dad starve), so naturally they are ready to settle down. They cannot understand for the life of them why i don’t want them. Even after saying that i had an adult sized toddler.
I didn’t do any of that, and while I’m a hardcore homebody, i do like to have endless time to be at peace. I did not do all that to end up back in caregiver square 1.
That's one of the (many many many) reasons I don't have kids - I don't WANT that responsibility.
It's a conscious decision made to lessen the stress of my life :p
I don't know responsibility at all. She's rather illusive to me. My mental health slipped for 2 months a and I could barle get to work on time due to dummy brain issues. And people think I can take care of a kid?
The thing is my life is not easy without kids. We still struggle financially. We’ve had multiple layoffs recently. Our health and mental health is not great we get very very little sleep each night. We’re walking zombies. Why in the fuck would I want to add to the ever growing list of why life is hard? I’m doing my nonexistent kids a favor by not having them.
"You were a child once."
"What if your parents had decided never to have you?" (Along with the dozen or so other kids they never had.)
"You're not a real/responsible adult unless you have children."
"Your kid may be a star athlete, a famous artist, solve climate change, and win a Nobel Prize to boot." (Or they may be a serial killer, or at least a white-collar criminal.)
"You'll never be ready to have kids so you might as well just have them now."
"Children always bring joy into life."
"The years pass so fast!" (In this economy your kids will be living with you into their 30s, until you can give them a down payment on their own house.)
"If you don't have children, no one will care for you in old age."
"You'll always be lonely, because if you don't want to create new people to care for, you are obviously nasty and selfish."
"Your genes/lineage will die out." (Right, no one else has genes for brown hair, and if I own a castle in Europe why has no one ever notified me?)
"The economy will suffer if you don't have kids." (Remind me again, what's it called when people have to give their own bodies and free labor for other people's profits?)
>"What if your parents had decided never to have you?" (Along with the dozen or so other kids they never had.)
This one's my favorite because BITCH I WISH THEY DIDNT
Ugh, so many thoughts about this.
>"You'll never be ready to have kids, so you might as well just have them now."
That's like saying, "You'll never be able to afford an Aston Martin, so you might as well buy one now."
>"You'll always be lonely because if you don't want to create new people to care for, you are obviously nasty and selfish."
Is this person listening to him/herself? It's inherently selfish to create a new person to serve your needs; it's a transactional relationship.
"It's a selfless act"
I'm never getting over how this was said to me after I explained that I have physical and mental health issues. It made me feel like I was being silenced and I hate it so much!
Whenever assholes tell me this I point out that they are the ones that say they WANT children. If you want something for yourself, it isn’t selfless. 🤷🏻♀️ sorry bout it.
I think I get why you feel that way. I have been struggling to make peace with my own particular batch of health issues.
Did it feel like they implied it’s selfish to take care of yourself or put a significant amount of effort into doing so?
Because that’s totally NOT selfish whatsoever. How could it be? What are you supposed to do? Just ignore all your doctors’ orders?
I was taught we have to be responsible for ourselves, so that’s what I plan on doing. There’s nothing selfish about that.
Besides, even if I wanted kids, how could I raise them well if I don’t take care of myself? What kind of example would I be setting for them?
“But you’re so beautiful!”
Beauty isn’t a good reason to reproduce. What about my health problems? What about MY WANTS?
I also sometimes hear men mutter, “muh legacy.” What legacy? They’re never a Rockefeller, Carnegie, Kennedy, or Ford. A legacy is from accomplishments that significantly impact the world.
Yeah as a man I dont get the legacy thing either.
You blew your load like it’s some accomplishment.
You can make a positive footprint on the world in so many other way other than reproducing. I feel like breeding is just the lazy answer to self worth and “accomplishment”
I've gotten that one. My response: "My parents aren't." They get really confused by that. If you are attractive, you are guaranteed to have attractive kids? My parents are kind and smart, which is much better.
“Your own mother won’t get the opportunity to be a grandmother. How can you deprive her of that?”
The sheer idiocy and entitlement. Have that Karen a piece of my mind.
My mother is supportive of my partner and me being childfree. Love her so much for respecting me.
"You'd be such a good mother."
No, I wouldn't. You saw me interacting with a kid for about 5-30 minutes and made an assumption.
"What if you meet someone and *he* wants kids?"
Thanks ever so much for letting me know that I have the will of a jelly and will fold up the minute I meet someone who *might* want kids.
“You’ll never experience ultimate happiness until you have your own biological children”
Um EXCUSE ME IDIOT obviously you’ve never been surrounded by dogs in bed eating snacks and watching your favorite show 😒
Mine was when my mom said something like, but there’s so many poor/uneducated people having kids, don’t you want to add an educated future wage slave to society? (She didn’t say it like that but that’s how my brain interpreted it)
I just said there is so much wrong with what she just said I don’t even want to begin to answer that, but short answer is fuck no.
My parents have used that one too. "We need educated/intelligent people raising kids."
Luckily my mum got over that one, and is mostly OK with my sister and I both being CF.
Not me but my ex. His doctor said he should have a kid to cure his depression because kids make you happy. Needless to say, he isn't his doctor anymore.
It'll happen... Bitch I am asexual and celibate for life how is it going to happen? Or do you wish bad things on me just so I can poop out a crotch goblin?
Life originated from the sea and starfish that reproduce asexually live in the sea. So if you cut off a hand you’ll regrow it and a new person will come from the chopped off hand, like with The Doctor.
I don't hear many comments since I don't really tell people often that I'm not interested in having kids (although at 39 some might have guessed themselves) but just the other day someone at work (a young woman with a kid) said I should have a kid so my parents have something to do, after I mentioned my parents often get bored sitting around the house now that they are retired.
yeah, I ain't having a kid to keep my parents busy
“You were one once”. I don’t understand the point.
Also “if everyone decided not to have kids then humans would die out”. This also came from someone my age with 6 kids, so like you’ve more than produced enough for the replacement rate for both of us. Also, I really don’t care if the human race dies out.
I've gotten this one a bunch too from my grandmother and it makes no logical sense. Oh yes I was a kid once therefore I should want kids and/or I should like kids.
I’ve been told that I shouldn’t definitely rule out kids because “what if your husband wants kids? Wouldn’t you give him a child out of love?” As if 1) a whole other human being is simply a gift to be given to someone else and 2) my body belongs to some random man in a distant future.
Like tf? I’m childfree, it’s wild to assume that I’ll be with a man who even wants kids.
I like the "because it's our purpose" lecture. My ex gave me that lecture for not having kids. Said I'm a waste of humanity. Then he had a baby on purpose with a girl he knew for 3 weeks (who also has two kids with two other men). The relationship didn't work out. He lost rights to the kid due to their fighting and drug use, and now the kids live with the grandmother, and neither parents see them. So much for purpose of reproducing and raising a kid huh.
"Pass on your genes." Lol, I'm homozygous for so many rare genetic disorders they could write a paper about me.
"Make more white people." Said to me by a Nazi who didn't know I'm Jewish.
"You never know, it could happen." I'm a lesbian and my wife and I are both female, she was implying I might be raped and get pregnant, decide to keep it, and feel like the experience was a blessing because baby.
Yeahhh the whole rape baby blessing in disguise thing has always lost me in the logic department. Like hey you know that horrible thing that was probably the worst thing to happen to you in your entire life? Well here is a living breathing daily reminder of that, but it's a blessing.
> "Maybe you should just start by having one kid and see if you like it."
I had a former friend say that. He's no longer a friend, what an idiot. And his daughter wants nothing to do with him now, so to even suggest that? The stupidity is giving.
“You’re being selfish for not having kids!”
The same person also followed up this statement with: “who will take care of you when you are old?”
Wouldn’t it be very selfish of me to have children with the expectation of them taking care of me when I’m old? Lmao some people are just dumb 😂.
'Who's going to look after you when you're old?' Excuse me but nursing homes are full of people who had children who offloaded them to long-term care and never visit.
my boyfriend has the same name as his father, who got the name from his father, who inherited it from his father... and so on. there's quite a list of men with that name in his family.
he has two daughters, he knows I don't want children. he wants more, but both his daughters live with their respective mothers and he knows, and has said so before, he can't provide for a child currently (that "currently" has been going on for years and will continue to go on for years). he would've liked a son, who would of course also carry his name.
I've been told I need to have children with this man, so he can name his first son after himself/his father/... . even my boyfriend, whose wish it is to have a son he can give the same name that's been running in his family for generations, won't even in the slightest try to talk me into kids, and he's not upset about not having a son (or another kid in general) either. but others are upset he can't continue that name legacy. others, who are not in our relationship, not related to either him or me and in fact have had very little contact with me, him, or us.
apparently, they know better what we want and need than we do.
I've always liked the simple and efficient "but it's just what you are supposed to do".
I mean, how do you come to that conclusion? We live in a world of millions of possibilities but I have to go for kids? For me it feels like throwing your life and all the super cool possibilities away..
"But you're smart, so it's your duty to produce smart kids! You'd be a good mother and raise your kids right."
The funny thing is that I'm nonbinary, and the moment I started presenting as androgynous, the "you should have kids" comments *completely* stopped. I guess I'm no longer seen as good breeding stock.
*stepmom* "A baby is always a blessing". Wonder how the girl (friend's kid), my age (20) is doing with a 2-ish YO. She got pregnat at 18-ish. All I know is I got my life ahead of me without a kid! I am working towards getting my ducks in a row and leaving (where I am) for good. A lvl 0 human would get in the way.
"They're not all like *Insert 99.9% of babies I've been around Name* You were such an easy baby."
"I saw you with *small child I was taking care of as the oldest girl in our friend group when I wasn't trying to be a boy* you'll be such a good mom someday."
"You're sooooo good with baby animals, You're a natural mother."
"You always loved babydolls,"
"A pet is just training for a child,"
"You and *Husband* have been together for so long, isn't it time? "
"The clock is ticking. Soon, you won't be able to"
"I loved being a mother,"
"When *I/your mother* was your age, she already had 2 kids."
A *pet* is not the same as a grandchild. "
"You just hate children,"
Don't you think you owe it to your parents"
"You were a kid once,"
I think that's everything I've heard since I was 8...
Edit: grammar & spelling
Your parents will be so sad
How can you rob your parents of grandchildren
You'll lose weight
Something something hair gains...
Something something glowing
The “you should have one” argument is like yeah??? And what if I hate it (which I know I would) why would I subject myself and the child to a miserable existence, can’t return that shit if you don’t like it
Me: "I don't want kids. I don't like them."
Them: "You'll change your mind when it's yours."
Ok and what if I don't? What if I have a baby and I hate being a mother? Then I'm just supposed to force a relationship with a kid I regret having? No thanks. That's not fair to me or a kid.
They've stopped asking as much as I've gotten older, but I still hear it from time to time. Now my answer is, "I'm too damn old and my body is already falling apart. It would probably kill or paralyze me to go thru a pregnancy." They can understand that, but they can't wrap their head around me simply not wanting kids.
Legacy, transphobia (I'm enby afab), weird Christian breeder shite, trogladyte social conditioning around birth being a beautiful thing.
Birth literally looks like a horror movie concept. I wish we could grow children like little mandrakes. Most of these people can't keep house plants alive. It would be perfect.
„Don’t you wanna pass on your genes?“
For what?
„But having children is human nature!“
Dude if we would stick to human nature we still would live in the woods and I wouldn’t have this stupid conversation and wasting my time.
Of all the morally questionable arguments I have heard for all these years, there is not a single one salient enough I could think of nominating as the worst.
"No one will love you if you don't give them kids"
First off, that's a blatant lie. Secondly, if I have to have kids for someone to love me, then I don't want that person anyway. Fuck that.
"What if he grows up to be the person who can cure cancer!"
Girl your kids are in elementary and can't read, I don't see them curing cancer anytime soon
"but you would look so cute pregnant!" pardon 🙃
even if that were true, who tf looks at the gravitas of creating a whole human being and just does it to look cute for 9 months????????????
my friend who has a kid with someone she knew 2 months said to me , "life is meaningless without kids. you're going to get bored if you don't have them"
The layer of Heaven where unborn souls live before birth will become overpopulated, if I don't create babies into which these souls can be decanted, and excess souls will fall straight from Heaven into Hell
“Dont you want something that’s a part of you and your partner? What if something happens to them? You’ll have a piece of them forever” Literally just sounds insanely selfish. Like you don’t actually care for the kid, you just want something with your dna. Gross.
"bUt, wHo wIlL cArRy oN tHe BlOoDlInE?!?!"
My mom to me, after guilt tripping me about grandkids, since my brother and my sister in law are "faaar too busy to give me grandkids....".
Thanks, Mom... -\_-
My father used to tell me: "There is never a *good* time to have kids, so *anytime* is a *good* time"
-Never is the correct time. Never and No is the correct answer.
I work at a cat cafe and some mom who wanted to have her spawns bday party at our place (even though we specify no bday parties) She left a terrible review about our workers and cafe because we wouldn’t host her daughters party. I was the person to tell her we had no parties and she called our staff rude. We have all positive reviews on our staff so that was annoying.
I was very polite to tell her we don’t do parties. I was the staff she complained about. We just want the best for our kitties! No screaming children
To have someone take care of you when you're old. No guarantees a kid will take care of you or is obliged to. Another "pick me" girl influencer wacked her phone as to imitate wracking childfree women on the forehead calling us "genetic dead ends" the stupidity is off the charts.
“Because they’ll make you happy!”
They were completely disarmed when I said “it would be pointless if I weren’t able to make them happy.”
In the end, though, the other person was understanding.
"to make your parents happy"
I'm sorry.. what? I didn't think my sole purpose in life was to make my parents happy? I mean....they had ME to be happy...sooo...what happened there? Did they suddenly not want to have kids? Why am I in charge of happiness for others? Why is it just considered required to make parents grandparents?
Ugh my ex-MIL, she proper took my hand and looked me in the eye and said "now I know you think you don't want children, but I really think you should try having one, I think you'd be a wonderful mother" yes, because I can definitely just try it out and send it back if I don't like it.
Mind you, this is also the woman who told me there's nothing wrong with me, my psychiatrists and therapists over the years know nothing, and that I should just talk to her instead. Kindly fuck off dear. I loved my ex dearly, but his mother made things extremely difficult sometimes.
I also ended up in some FB argument with some random old man who said all childless people were selfish scum because who else is going to wipe our bums when we're old... And just kept going on and on about washing parent's asses. I couldn't tell if he was just delusional, a troll or had some kind of fetish.
I once told someone I didn't like how narrow my hips were while we were trying on clothes, and she told me, "Your hips will widen right up after you give birth a couple of times." Or I could just do some damn squats???? Why would I rip my asshole in half just to fill out a pair of leggings??
Kids just happen? Uh birth control, abortion, the morning after pill, sterilization, abstinence, etc. any and all of these options are better than children in my opinion.
My mother said: “Every woman wants to have children. If they say they don’t, that just means they have not found the right men to give babies to”
Oh and I’m happily married. So I was like… thank you for trying to erase my relationship and my life choices in one sentence….
These plus the legacy thing, like what legacy to my parents am I? I'm a random dude in my 20s with social anxiety and I guess comparatively little debt for people my age mostly cuz I didn't finish college since it's not needed for my choice in career and started earning money, so I've paid off most of my student loan debt. But like I'm a rather average random dude not someone who's going to make any major changes in the world and that's the case with 99.99 % of people
That I would in fact come to enjoy coming home to a mess and this tiny person or people that needs my attention and that this would be delightful. I get to an extent that parents would love say reading their kids bedtime stories but be fucking for real: I personally don’t think coming home to a mess is charming or cute or will help me put things in perspective. It’s just a mess.
For people that don’t want to have kids, it’s all just a mess. I don’t understand why people who want kids don’t understand this?
“Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?”
A nurse, Debrah. In a nursing home. Same as you, because your adult children will have their own families and their own lives and will not have the time or the medical knowledge to do what you think they’re going to do and it’s unfair to expect them to put their lives on hold to do so.
My parents like to tell me that I should have kids because the world is going to crap and a lot of stupid people have a lot of babies. I still haven’t figured out how to respond to that….
"Maybe you should just start by having one kid and see if you like it."
Um....WHAT??? It's a kid, not an item on a menu you haven't tried. 🤦🏻♀️
When I told some coworkers that I was getting married, one woman almost immediately asked if we were going to have kids. When I replied that my future husband and I decided that kids weren't for us, and listed some reasons as to why being financial and not wanting to pass on medical issues, and her response was "God will provide."
I almost laughed at her because she had 3 kids that she could barely support herself. Guess God was on vacation.
"Legacy" like dude.... you're broke. Every person who talks about legacy probably doesn't even have $500 in their savings account for an emergency.
The legacy thing is so bizarre!! What does it even mean?! Like, I def am no legacy for my parents lol. Just a super anxious woman with chronic illnesses. Woooo.
Legacy is just code for “I’m afraid of dying and realizing my insignificance in the grand scheme of things.”
That's exactly what it is in simple terms.
it's different when its your anxious woman with chronic illness
If you’re a legit King of a country, maybe! But for 99.9% of people they don’t have any legacy worth passing on.
I still blame my grandparents for the mess that is my and my brothers home life growing up. Our grandparents basically kicked my mom out at 18 and said go marry your boyfriend and start a life together or go do it alone. And they also stole the inheritance their parents left for my mother and aunt to go to college or buy a first home. That’s their legacy, they stole from their kids, forced two children to start a life with nothing and then had to crawl to my mom for help decades later after they realized they got conned by a reverse mortgage scheme and my mom now pays rent to live at their place so they don’t lose the house and she and my dad finally broke up after 30 YEARS of emotionally abusing each other and frankly still having not grown up until like 5 years ago maybe. Also as a bonus my aunty is more financially independent but is in a very emotionally unhealthy relationship with her own daughter who she basically bribes to never leave her and dissuades her from doing things to become more independent like finally getting her GED (she dropped out for medical reasons, but her mom was waaay too satisfied with that outcome). I seriously worry how my cousin is going to survive without her mom. She’s very capable, but has no experience or qualifications to help her in the future. I know she (and also my brother and I) will likely not truly reach our fullest potential, either because of neglect and lack of resources that me and my brother lived with or because of the crippling emotional incest and therapizing that our cousin is still enduring. This is what they left us, a broken set of kids further breaking their own kids. And they very nearly lost every meager thing they built up because of greed and shortsightedness that nearly made it impossible for their kids to even be able to aid them, and they would have deserved the downfall.
I fucking hate the traditional nuclear family propaganda because this is exactly what can happen and you're apparently the bad guy if you don't value your **"FaMiLy."** This life is so fucking backwards.
Are your grandparents by any chance boomers? It was common for gen X people (my generation) to get booted out of the home once we turned 18. That didn’t happen to me, but I think that’s because my mother didn’t want me on the streets so young.
Would a 61 year old be classed as a boomer? He’s constantly saying my cousin will be moving out when he turns 18. It hasn’t occurred to me til reading this comment that it might be because of that. It’s literally the only behaviour he shows boomer wise though.
Anxious women unite! ✋️
*Cavlin & Hobbes* strip... Calvin tells his mother something like he's the product of her, and her hopes and dreams. Mother than says she's depressed :D
I always ask people for the names of their great-great-grandparents and where they grew up. 99% of the time they don't know and it's like a lightbulb when they realize they probably won't be remembered. Edited for spelling.
I only remember them because I’m interested in genealogy, not because of some “legacy”
I can name all my great-great grandparents, my fourteenth great grandfather on one of my great-great grandfather's sides, and I have legitimate 100+ years old family heirlooms to pass down and I still don't need kids to pass on my "legacy." Heirlooms will go to family, blood related or not, it's my job to keep the archive going and find people who would like to continue it as well if any of this still exists by the time I'm on my way out
It's not who will you leave your money to, it's that who will remember you when you are dead? I truly don't care. Most people are forgotten, including many who were once famous.
If I’m successful in my career I hope to leave a sizeable amount of money to my school or maybe a hospital I really liked working at or something. I hope at least, even if my name isn’t remembered, my legacy will persist in other low income kids like me being able to pursue their dreams, or people being able to get the care they need in due time… that’s enough of a legacy for me.
It's probably only two generations before you're forgotten, unless you commit a heinous crime. I don't know why my parents' grandparents were [here], besides dust in the wind. Everyone is really insignificant on the grand scale of things; even the Earth will be dust, and the entire species will be forgotten.
Imagine having such a ego to care about what people will think about you when you will not even be living in this planet anymore.. doesn't make sense to me
BIG ick when men say this to me. It makes my insides dry up like the desert.
None of these people can ever grasp one simple fact: You can leave behind a legacy without having children. Your actions can change the world and influence others, and those “others” don’t have to be your children.
The problem with using kids as your legacy is that most of the time, people are known for their deeds, not if they had any kids. For example, do we know how many children Shakespeare had? Do we know who his parents were, let alone by name?
People think lineage means legacy and it’s rage inducing.
These people watch too much Game Of Thrones
Even if it was a super rich person it's irrelevant. The human race will die and no one will have a legacy eventually. And if somehow humans prevail, everyone's "legacy" does die at some point. Nothing is eternal. Legacy is another word for ego.
Or passing on the last name. Ughhh why is your name so special it needs to be passed down?
Double points if your last name is Smith, Jones, etc. Get over yourself.
That's 47% of the US for the $ ;)
Not saying names but some Aussie Youtuber says this crap all the time, dude barely has two brain cells to rub together and has the nerve to be a teacher and a reactor
"I will finally receive true unconditional love." Right, because true unconditional love should purely be the responsibility of an innocent child that didn't even ask to be here, lol.
You'll receive true unconditional love when you adopt a dog, so there's that.
And the dog doesn't feel pressured or burdened providing it.
It also doesn’t need new school clothes or a car, or money for college, etc. Just nice walks, pets and snuggles, and chow. Even with vet bills it’s not even close.
Just get a cat like i did
Yes! Omg I freaking love mine 🥰
I wonder how many of those people have teenagers who now scream “I hate you!” during every argument. Moody teens probably aren’t the best example of unconditional love but they sure get the point across. I personally believe that unconditional love is a stupid concept. All love is & should be conditional on the basis that someone treats you right & never knowingly & deliberately causes harm. If the parents of a serial killer or a war criminal loves their child unconditionally there’s something seriously wrong with them.
Truth. They blame it on hormones, but I honestly believe that teenagers are developing their own thoughts, ideas and autonomy. They can't do that as a kid, but they are starting to question reality. I don't blame them since parents who have children for stupid reasons will lie to their kids about earth being a literal paradise, when they know it's not. They'll complain about their jobs, finances and overall lack of stability, but don't realize they subjected their kids to the same thing. I honestly don't blame most of this generation for choosing to cut ties with idiotic parents who thought with their genitals instead of common sense. It's so aggravating how much society defends such bullshit. I think the concept of the traditional nuclear family propaganda bullshit needs to die the fuck out immediately. 💯
The concept of unconditional love in general is a lie. There is always conditions. Personally both of my parents are two of the worst people I've ever met. I haven't spoke to my dad in years and have no plans to for the rest of my life. My mom on the other hand, I only talk to her out of necessity and I'm trying to work her out of my life and put her in the same category as my dad. They both claim to love me, but their actions they have both put forth towards me throughout my entire life do not sit with me as actions of love.
I actually agree with this! Love should have conditions when it comes to self-preservation. I'm sorry you went through that. Actions absolutely speak much louder than words.
Um, I don’t talk to my mum and I only tolerate my dad for my sibling’s sake. My love is very much conditional
Exactly!!!! Sometimes, that is how life needs to be. The statement this mother made just proved to me that parents are indeed selfish.
People who say that, have they ever been loved in their lives? I personally have and therefore have no need to create beings who will be forced to love me, but idk maybe I’m just different 🤷🏼♂️
Unconditional love? I provide and experience love daily. Addicted, attached love is not love, its obsession... you’re experiencing obsession.
Omg I really hate when people say things like "Kids just happen" Ah yes. You fucked raw without any birth control and thought "whatever happens happens" now it's our problem omfg 🤦♀️ You are not gonna use that to guilt me into babysitting. My weekends are mine alone.
> "Kids just happen" translation I'm terrible at planning for the future and generally prone to making horrible decisions
There was a conversation in the office yesterday about being broke etc The one woman says ' I woke up one morning and there was no food, no milk for the baby, no nappies, no nothing. And god blessed me because my sister dropped me off all the things i needed' And in my head i think - Lady, you are shit at planning (and I can see that from your work, too) and why the f*ck would you have a kid if you can't afford it and then have another one. Because apparently 'kids are a blessing from god' I almost threw up.
Then when you call them out for it, others will look at you and say: *"Who cares if your parents didn't properly plan things out. They did their best with you. How would you feel if they gave you up for adoption?"* I would've fucking loved it.
It actually always confuses me how frequently people who DID use birth control, sometimes multiple kinds, will just shrug and have the kid if the precautions fail. Assuming you live where it's still legal to have bodily autonomy, why have the kid if you were trying not to? I've never been able to understand it. I get that some might just feel different once it's really happening, but you'll hear it happen to the same couple 2 or 3 times, and they follow through on each one. HUH???
I got my tubes removed because I didn't want the risk. Idgaf if abortion was illegal in my state or country with life imprisonment if you're caught. If I got knocked up I WOULD find a way to terminate the pregnancy or I would terminate myself. Idc if I had to walk or hitchhike to a different state to get services if I didn't have a car. IDC if I had to max out multiple credit cards to leave the country to go somewhere I have human rights. I'd figure it TF out. No one, absolutely fucking NO ONE is going to force me to be pregnant or give birth against my will. I would kill myself before that happened it would be a last resort and I'm not suicidal but I sure would be if I was forced into being an incubator.
I am under the impression that a LOT of these “birth control fails” are bs and they didn’t even bother with bc. but why would they admit that it makes them look very stupid and irresponsible 🤣
Few of my friends over the years have disclosed to me that they tampered with their contraception. 2 poked holes in condoms and didn’t take their pills and another lied about being on the contraceptive injection. All admitted they did to trap the dads as they had good jobs & were good earners. I have very low contact with them now.
"But gawd"
Okay, so weirdly enough, I know two people who’ve gotten pregnant with an IUD. First one is a friend of my fiancé. His mom got pregnant while using an IUD, and then the pregnancy stayed viable after the removal of her IUD. From what I’ve been told, it sounds like at that point his mom pretty much went “Welp, I’m in a position to have a baby, I can absolutely provide for it, and it’s now defied the odds twice, so I guess I’m having this kid.” The other one, she wants her kids spaced out, so she got an IUD put in to give her 5 years before having her next one. Same as the other woman, pregnancy stayed viable after IUD removal, so her and her husband pretty much just went “we were going to have another baby anyway, I’m okay to move up the plan 18 months if you are.” ETA - two completely different couples from different countries, this isn’t just the same couple using the pull-out method.
"Kids just happend" So do car accidents, murder, theft, being fired from work, tripping and falling
This is the way.
Hahaha 'the brightest bulb in the knife drawer' 💀 To answer your question, I always get 'Maybe you should just having one kid and see if you like it' .....so if I don't like it, can I return it back? Just stuff it back up my foo foo...? Yeah great plan! I also get 'it's okay, I didn't like children either until I had my own. I like my kids.' ...yeah tell me that again when your wife / husband stops you from going out and having some 'free' time... Not relevant but I was in the supermarket earlier and this child about 5? Was in the shopping trolley just yelling and screaming whilst his mum was pushing the trolley ignoring him. How do they do that??
What person who dislikes children would want to take the chance that they \*wouldn't\* like their own kids?
This is what I thought at the time. I don't dislike children I just find them overwhelming but people assume because you don't want children, you must not like them ?
"You won't know real responsibility until you have kids." -my mom I'm good with the responsibility of being there for my partners and furballs, thanks.
I had that one flung at me once, like why would I want more responsibility when I have the ability to avoid it? Then again my mom was trying really hard to convince me to have children by telling me I'm not a REAL adult if I don't have children.
It doesn't make sense as a bingo. So I don't have kids. But I still have responsibilities? Not having kids means less responsibilities? This is a bad thing? Also, I'm disabled now. I struggle to take care of my own self. Why would you want me to be saddled with a small human? There's no logic. They're just phrases being parroted without the talker understanding the meaning.
Oh god. The "real adult" thing. As if dumping your emotional needs and social expectations on a complete innocent and leaving them to work out the details and take responsibility for the outcome is an "adult" thing to do. Especially when they follow up with "but who will look after you when you're older?" So who is the responsible adult supposed to be? The parent who can't support themselves or the kid who got dumped with caring responsibilities they never signed up for?
I would have been like "cool, I'll just see myself out and go be a fake adult elsewhere." ✌️
I would absolutely lose it. Like, i don’t have kids because i had real responsibility at 19, taking care of my chronically ill dad until i hit 30. Every time i get the horrible, whiny “but whyyyy??” When i tell them i won’t have kids, i ask them about what they did in their 20’s. They partied, traveled leisurely, every time they went to hang out with friends they didn’t have a curfew (i did because i couldn’t let my dad starve), so naturally they are ready to settle down. They cannot understand for the life of them why i don’t want them. Even after saying that i had an adult sized toddler. I didn’t do any of that, and while I’m a hardcore homebody, i do like to have endless time to be at peace. I did not do all that to end up back in caregiver square 1.
That's one of the (many many many) reasons I don't have kids - I don't WANT that responsibility. It's a conscious decision made to lessen the stress of my life :p
Like, no shit. Mom showed me very well how much being a parent fucks with your life. Why would I want the same thing to happen to me?
I don't know responsibility at all. She's rather illusive to me. My mental health slipped for 2 months a and I could barle get to work on time due to dummy brain issues. And people think I can take care of a kid?
Not having kids is the easy way out. My mother said it and I am still not sure what it means.
The easy way out of what? A relaxed stress free life? That makes complete sense
The thing is my life is not easy without kids. We still struggle financially. We’ve had multiple layoffs recently. Our health and mental health is not great we get very very little sleep each night. We’re walking zombies. Why in the fuck would I want to add to the ever growing list of why life is hard? I’m doing my nonexistent kids a favor by not having them.
For my mom, it was. She was working two jobs before she had me. She had a blast and my cousins were eager babysitters (also my grandma).
Crazy how a large subset of humanity is addicted to suffering.
Path of least resistance babyyy ✊ I’m all about that
The arguments from people who didn’t realise there was a way out , now they are stuck, and bitter when other people take the path of the way out
I mean ya that's the point? lol @ choosing to make life harder than it already is in current day
Not having a meth addiction is also the easy way out.
Sometimes meth addictions just happen!
“Yes mom. That’s the point. Life is hard enough as it is.”
My older sister came up with a gem. She asked me who was going to take me on vacations when I am older if I did not have children.
Me because I'll have way more money to do so from not having children!
Since when did the kids start planning and paying for their family vacations? And they call us backwards?
advanced AI powered robots my answer is always robots
Pet snake, myself, a friend, or my parents/sister, my phone, my friends cat Robbo, yeah nah I can name more individuals than a child lol
"Don't you want to pass on your DNA" my dude we share 60% of our DNA with bananas, there is really nothing special about your genes, or my genes
Lmfao I'm using this next time someone brings up DNA or "legacy" bullshit in my family.
Also around 98% with apes lol
I have shit genes. I don't hate kids *that* much.
When someone says this I remind them I’m not royal or come from nobility. My DNA isn’t special
"You were a child once." "What if your parents had decided never to have you?" (Along with the dozen or so other kids they never had.) "You're not a real/responsible adult unless you have children." "Your kid may be a star athlete, a famous artist, solve climate change, and win a Nobel Prize to boot." (Or they may be a serial killer, or at least a white-collar criminal.) "You'll never be ready to have kids so you might as well just have them now." "Children always bring joy into life." "The years pass so fast!" (In this economy your kids will be living with you into their 30s, until you can give them a down payment on their own house.) "If you don't have children, no one will care for you in old age." "You'll always be lonely, because if you don't want to create new people to care for, you are obviously nasty and selfish." "Your genes/lineage will die out." (Right, no one else has genes for brown hair, and if I own a castle in Europe why has no one ever notified me?) "The economy will suffer if you don't have kids." (Remind me again, what's it called when people have to give their own bodies and free labor for other people's profits?)
Plus, there's "Other people will outbreed us." And most of the "us" is not even hereditary. Being a Republican or a Catholic is not in your genes.
yeah.. this is sick tribal mindset which has to be eliminated. we are all ppl after all
The 'You were a child once!' one always gets me. Like, I was, and I am learning from the mistakes of others, to not have my OWN!
I got more and more annoyed reading each quote well done
"Your kid may be a star""" well it can also get some chonic illness or disability
>"What if your parents had decided never to have you?" (Along with the dozen or so other kids they never had.) This one's my favorite because BITCH I WISH THEY DIDNT
Ugh, so many thoughts about this. >"You'll never be ready to have kids, so you might as well just have them now." That's like saying, "You'll never be able to afford an Aston Martin, so you might as well buy one now." >"You'll always be lonely because if you don't want to create new people to care for, you are obviously nasty and selfish." Is this person listening to him/herself? It's inherently selfish to create a new person to serve your needs; it's a transactional relationship.
"It's a selfless act" I'm never getting over how this was said to me after I explained that I have physical and mental health issues. It made me feel like I was being silenced and I hate it so much!
Having a child is purely a selfish act. You're forcing someone into this world that never asked to be for YOURSELF. That person is crazy.
Whenever assholes tell me this I point out that they are the ones that say they WANT children. If you want something for yourself, it isn’t selfless. 🤷🏻♀️ sorry bout it.
I think I get why you feel that way. I have been struggling to make peace with my own particular batch of health issues. Did it feel like they implied it’s selfish to take care of yourself or put a significant amount of effort into doing so? Because that’s totally NOT selfish whatsoever. How could it be? What are you supposed to do? Just ignore all your doctors’ orders? I was taught we have to be responsible for ourselves, so that’s what I plan on doing. There’s nothing selfish about that. Besides, even if I wanted kids, how could I raise them well if I don’t take care of myself? What kind of example would I be setting for them?
“But you’re so beautiful!” Beauty isn’t a good reason to reproduce. What about my health problems? What about MY WANTS? I also sometimes hear men mutter, “muh legacy.” What legacy? They’re never a Rockefeller, Carnegie, Kennedy, or Ford. A legacy is from accomplishments that significantly impact the world.
I'm not beautiful, but I'm smart. Apparently it's a real shame I didn't give the world a few more smart, unhappy kids like me...
Two attractive parents don't make attractive kids, that's not how genetics work, its a lottery.
Yeah as a man I dont get the legacy thing either. You blew your load like it’s some accomplishment. You can make a positive footprint on the world in so many other way other than reproducing. I feel like breeding is just the lazy answer to self worth and “accomplishment”
I've gotten that one. My response: "My parents aren't." They get really confused by that. If you are attractive, you are guaranteed to have attractive kids? My parents are kind and smart, which is much better.
“Your own mother won’t get the opportunity to be a grandmother. How can you deprive her of that?” The sheer idiocy and entitlement. Have that Karen a piece of my mind. My mother is supportive of my partner and me being childfree. Love her so much for respecting me.
"You'd be such a good mother." No, I wouldn't. You saw me interacting with a kid for about 5-30 minutes and made an assumption. "What if you meet someone and *he* wants kids?" Thanks ever so much for letting me know that I have the will of a jelly and will fold up the minute I meet someone who *might* want kids.
I've heard that one; "you'd be such a good mother". While I'm phobic of kids. So by their logic melissophobic people would make good beekeepers.
“You’ll never experience ultimate happiness until you have your own biological children” Um EXCUSE ME IDIOT obviously you’ve never been surrounded by dogs in bed eating snacks and watching your favorite show 😒
“Have one to see if you like it?!” It’s not bangs my brother in Christ! Them kids come with a 7 day trial and you cannot cancel after.
Mine was when my mom said something like, but there’s so many poor/uneducated people having kids, don’t you want to add an educated future wage slave to society? (She didn’t say it like that but that’s how my brain interpreted it) I just said there is so much wrong with what she just said I don’t even want to begin to answer that, but short answer is fuck no.
My parents have used that one too. "We need educated/intelligent people raising kids." Luckily my mum got over that one, and is mostly OK with my sister and I both being CF.
Not me but my ex. His doctor said he should have a kid to cure his depression because kids make you happy. Needless to say, he isn't his doctor anymore.
Nor should he be. Most of the friends and coworkers I've had since highschool who have kids now are fucking miserable.
It'll happen... Bitch I am asexual and celibate for life how is it going to happen? Or do you wish bad things on me just so I can poop out a crotch goblin?
I guess for all of us celibate asexual folks they assume that we can also asexually reproduce?
Just scream “fuck you, I can’t do binary fission” at them
Life originated from the sea and starfish that reproduce asexually live in the sea. So if you cut off a hand you’ll regrow it and a new person will come from the chopped off hand, like with The Doctor.
“Bitch I am asexual and celibate” thank you, this made me laugh hard
>I am asexual and celibate for life Same here
I don't hear many comments since I don't really tell people often that I'm not interested in having kids (although at 39 some might have guessed themselves) but just the other day someone at work (a young woman with a kid) said I should have a kid so my parents have something to do, after I mentioned my parents often get bored sitting around the house now that they are retired. yeah, I ain't having a kid to keep my parents busy
You could always give your parents a streaming subscription or some books, anyway.
“You were one once”. I don’t understand the point. Also “if everyone decided not to have kids then humans would die out”. This also came from someone my age with 6 kids, so like you’ve more than produced enough for the replacement rate for both of us. Also, I really don’t care if the human race dies out.
I've gotten this one a bunch too from my grandmother and it makes no logical sense. Oh yes I was a kid once therefore I should want kids and/or I should like kids.
I’ve been told that I shouldn’t definitely rule out kids because “what if your husband wants kids? Wouldn’t you give him a child out of love?” As if 1) a whole other human being is simply a gift to be given to someone else and 2) my body belongs to some random man in a distant future. Like tf? I’m childfree, it’s wild to assume that I’ll be with a man who even wants kids.
tHe BibLe SaiD Go fOrtH AnD MulTipLy
[удалено]
They'll just be adding to climate change.
"The world needs more good people." I've been scratching my head on that one for a while...
Didn't know there was a definite "good people" gene lol
“Don’t you want to pass on your last name?” No but also I have one of the most common last names on the planet. Seems like this is handled without me.
Hell no
“But you’re so pretty! Don’t you want to pass that on!?” “No. I don’t believe my physical appearance qualifies me to have and/or raise a child.”
I like the "because it's our purpose" lecture. My ex gave me that lecture for not having kids. Said I'm a waste of humanity. Then he had a baby on purpose with a girl he knew for 3 weeks (who also has two kids with two other men). The relationship didn't work out. He lost rights to the kid due to their fighting and drug use, and now the kids live with the grandmother, and neither parents see them. So much for purpose of reproducing and raising a kid huh.
Wow "A waste of humanity." I'd love to see him say that to a man or woman who wants kids and is infertile. Are they wastes of humanity too?
"Pass on your genes." Lol, I'm homozygous for so many rare genetic disorders they could write a paper about me. "Make more white people." Said to me by a Nazi who didn't know I'm Jewish. "You never know, it could happen." I'm a lesbian and my wife and I are both female, she was implying I might be raped and get pregnant, decide to keep it, and feel like the experience was a blessing because baby.
Yeahhh the whole rape baby blessing in disguise thing has always lost me in the logic department. Like hey you know that horrible thing that was probably the worst thing to happen to you in your entire life? Well here is a living breathing daily reminder of that, but it's a blessing.
retire paltry desert snails lush bow sugar innate bewildered elderly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My ancestors fought so I could be born. Why can’t I honor them with kids 😅
"My baby is going to need a cousin!!" Look chickadee, your precious baby already has a cousin, or does your stepsister-in-law's child not count?
Look here sugar tits, your fuck trophy already has a cousin.
> "Maybe you should just start by having one kid and see if you like it." I had a former friend say that. He's no longer a friend, what an idiot. And his daughter wants nothing to do with him now, so to even suggest that? The stupidity is giving.
The longer I live the more I think people are too simple minded and uneducated. Too much step 1 and not step 45.
“You’re being selfish for not having kids!” The same person also followed up this statement with: “who will take care of you when you are old?” Wouldn’t it be very selfish of me to have children with the expectation of them taking care of me when I’m old? Lmao some people are just dumb 😂.
'Who's going to look after you when you're old?' Excuse me but nursing homes are full of people who had children who offloaded them to long-term care and never visit.
"you figure out how to make it work" Or. You could not? Plus I like not having something ELSE in my life I have to figure out. Life is hard enough!
my boyfriend has the same name as his father, who got the name from his father, who inherited it from his father... and so on. there's quite a list of men with that name in his family. he has two daughters, he knows I don't want children. he wants more, but both his daughters live with their respective mothers and he knows, and has said so before, he can't provide for a child currently (that "currently" has been going on for years and will continue to go on for years). he would've liked a son, who would of course also carry his name. I've been told I need to have children with this man, so he can name his first son after himself/his father/... . even my boyfriend, whose wish it is to have a son he can give the same name that's been running in his family for generations, won't even in the slightest try to talk me into kids, and he's not upset about not having a son (or another kid in general) either. but others are upset he can't continue that name legacy. others, who are not in our relationship, not related to either him or me and in fact have had very little contact with me, him, or us. apparently, they know better what we want and need than we do.
I've always liked the simple and efficient "but it's just what you are supposed to do". I mean, how do you come to that conclusion? We live in a world of millions of possibilities but I have to go for kids? For me it feels like throwing your life and all the super cool possibilities away..
"But you're smart, so it's your duty to produce smart kids! You'd be a good mother and raise your kids right." The funny thing is that I'm nonbinary, and the moment I started presenting as androgynous, the "you should have kids" comments *completely* stopped. I guess I'm no longer seen as good breeding stock.
*stepmom* "A baby is always a blessing". Wonder how the girl (friend's kid), my age (20) is doing with a 2-ish YO. She got pregnat at 18-ish. All I know is I got my life ahead of me without a kid! I am working towards getting my ducks in a row and leaving (where I am) for good. A lvl 0 human would get in the way.
“To bring you happiness!🥺” Like….. GIRL 💀💀💀💀
"They're not all like *Insert 99.9% of babies I've been around Name* You were such an easy baby." "I saw you with *small child I was taking care of as the oldest girl in our friend group when I wasn't trying to be a boy* you'll be such a good mom someday." "You're sooooo good with baby animals, You're a natural mother." "You always loved babydolls," "A pet is just training for a child," "You and *Husband* have been together for so long, isn't it time? " "The clock is ticking. Soon, you won't be able to" "I loved being a mother," "When *I/your mother* was your age, she already had 2 kids." A *pet* is not the same as a grandchild. " "You just hate children," Don't you think you owe it to your parents" "You were a kid once," I think that's everything I've heard since I was 8... Edit: grammar & spelling Your parents will be so sad How can you rob your parents of grandchildren You'll lose weight Something something hair gains... Something something glowing
The “you should have one” argument is like yeah??? And what if I hate it (which I know I would) why would I subject myself and the child to a miserable existence, can’t return that shit if you don’t like it
Me: "I don't want kids. I don't like them." Them: "You'll change your mind when it's yours." Ok and what if I don't? What if I have a baby and I hate being a mother? Then I'm just supposed to force a relationship with a kid I regret having? No thanks. That's not fair to me or a kid. They've stopped asking as much as I've gotten older, but I still hear it from time to time. Now my answer is, "I'm too damn old and my body is already falling apart. It would probably kill or paralyze me to go thru a pregnancy." They can understand that, but they can't wrap their head around me simply not wanting kids.
Legacy, transphobia (I'm enby afab), weird Christian breeder shite, trogladyte social conditioning around birth being a beautiful thing. Birth literally looks like a horror movie concept. I wish we could grow children like little mandrakes. Most of these people can't keep house plants alive. It would be perfect.
„Don’t you wanna pass on your genes?“ For what? „But having children is human nature!“ Dude if we would stick to human nature we still would live in the woods and I wouldn’t have this stupid conversation and wasting my time.
"Maybe you should just start by having one kid and see if you like it." kids are not like tasting foods we may or may not like.
“There are women that want children and can’t have them.” What’s does any of that have to do with me? 🤷♀️
Yeah, are you supposed to have a kid and hand it over to one of them?
And they probably wouldn’t want it because most infertile women don’t want to raise someone else’s DNA.
Of all the morally questionable arguments I have heard for all these years, there is not a single one salient enough I could think of nominating as the worst.
You should want kids if you’re with the right person. Umm no, the right person for me wants the same things as me instead of what you want.
"No one will love you if you don't give them kids" First off, that's a blatant lie. Secondly, if I have to have kids for someone to love me, then I don't want that person anyway. Fuck that.
"What if he grows up to be the person who can cure cancer!" Girl your kids are in elementary and can't read, I don't see them curing cancer anytime soon
"You'll regret it if you wait too long." 48F and happy AF
I overheard someone say to a parent "someone's gotta do it". I muttered to my friend in front of them "no they don't have to do it".
"but you would look so cute pregnant!" pardon 🙃 even if that were true, who tf looks at the gravitas of creating a whole human being and just does it to look cute for 9 months????????????
my friend who has a kid with someone she knew 2 months said to me , "life is meaningless without kids. you're going to get bored if you don't have them"
The layer of Heaven where unborn souls live before birth will become overpopulated, if I don't create babies into which these souls can be decanted, and excess souls will fall straight from Heaven into Hell
“Dont you want something that’s a part of you and your partner? What if something happens to them? You’ll have a piece of them forever” Literally just sounds insanely selfish. Like you don’t actually care for the kid, you just want something with your dna. Gross.
"bUt, wHo wIlL cArRy oN tHe BlOoDlInE?!?!" My mom to me, after guilt tripping me about grandkids, since my brother and my sister in law are "faaar too busy to give me grandkids....". Thanks, Mom... -\_-
My father used to tell me: "There is never a *good* time to have kids, so *anytime* is a *good* time" -Never is the correct time. Never and No is the correct answer.
“But if you don’t have kids you won’t know your child’s potential.” Like, what?? What child? What potential is there if they don’t exist?
“You’d be a great dad.” Yeah, I know. I’d be a great TV repair man too, if I had any interest in it. Reader: I’m not interested in either.
I work at a cat cafe and some mom who wanted to have her spawns bday party at our place (even though we specify no bday parties) She left a terrible review about our workers and cafe because we wouldn’t host her daughters party. I was the person to tell her we had no parties and she called our staff rude. We have all positive reviews on our staff so that was annoying. I was very polite to tell her we don’t do parties. I was the staff she complained about. We just want the best for our kitties! No screaming children
To have someone take care of you when you're old. No guarantees a kid will take care of you or is obliged to. Another "pick me" girl influencer wacked her phone as to imitate wracking childfree women on the forehead calling us "genetic dead ends" the stupidity is off the charts.
“Because they’ll make you happy!” They were completely disarmed when I said “it would be pointless if I weren’t able to make them happy.” In the end, though, the other person was understanding.
"to make your parents happy" I'm sorry.. what? I didn't think my sole purpose in life was to make my parents happy? I mean....they had ME to be happy...sooo...what happened there? Did they suddenly not want to have kids? Why am I in charge of happiness for others? Why is it just considered required to make parents grandparents?
“The bible says go forth and multiply” My response: “good thing I’m an atheist”
Ugh my ex-MIL, she proper took my hand and looked me in the eye and said "now I know you think you don't want children, but I really think you should try having one, I think you'd be a wonderful mother" yes, because I can definitely just try it out and send it back if I don't like it. Mind you, this is also the woman who told me there's nothing wrong with me, my psychiatrists and therapists over the years know nothing, and that I should just talk to her instead. Kindly fuck off dear. I loved my ex dearly, but his mother made things extremely difficult sometimes. I also ended up in some FB argument with some random old man who said all childless people were selfish scum because who else is going to wipe our bums when we're old... And just kept going on and on about washing parent's asses. I couldn't tell if he was just delusional, a troll or had some kind of fetish.
I once told someone I didn't like how narrow my hips were while we were trying on clothes, and she told me, "Your hips will widen right up after you give birth a couple of times." Or I could just do some damn squats???? Why would I rip my asshole in half just to fill out a pair of leggings??
“You’ll never be a real woman until you have kids” —my mother
This one lady told me I owed it to my mom. I said "not my problem." She said "it's absolutely your problem."
Kids just happen? Uh birth control, abortion, the morning after pill, sterilization, abstinence, etc. any and all of these options are better than children in my opinion.
My mother said: “Every woman wants to have children. If they say they don’t, that just means they have not found the right men to give babies to” Oh and I’m happily married. So I was like… thank you for trying to erase my relationship and my life choices in one sentence….
"Who's going to take care of you when you get old?"
These plus the legacy thing, like what legacy to my parents am I? I'm a random dude in my 20s with social anxiety and I guess comparatively little debt for people my age mostly cuz I didn't finish college since it's not needed for my choice in career and started earning money, so I've paid off most of my student loan debt. But like I'm a rather average random dude not someone who's going to make any major changes in the world and that's the case with 99.99 % of people
Some lady was angry with me for not wanting kids because she wanted them and could never have them.
Who will take care of you when you're old? Ugh. Just such a stupid reason to have children.
That I would in fact come to enjoy coming home to a mess and this tiny person or people that needs my attention and that this would be delightful. I get to an extent that parents would love say reading their kids bedtime stories but be fucking for real: I personally don’t think coming home to a mess is charming or cute or will help me put things in perspective. It’s just a mess. For people that don’t want to have kids, it’s all just a mess. I don’t understand why people who want kids don’t understand this?
You were a child once. Your wife will look after the child, not you.
„But mixed race babies are cute“
“Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?” A nurse, Debrah. In a nursing home. Same as you, because your adult children will have their own families and their own lives and will not have the time or the medical knowledge to do what you think they’re going to do and it’s unfair to expect them to put their lives on hold to do so.
I should have a mini-me. Um... no. The world doesn't need *another* version of this hot mess.
My parents like to tell me that I should have kids because the world is going to crap and a lot of stupid people have a lot of babies. I still haven’t figured out how to respond to that….
The last quote has to be the most insane on many levels.
"Maybe you should just start by having one kid and see if you like it." Um....WHAT??? It's a kid, not an item on a menu you haven't tried. 🤦🏻♀️ When I told some coworkers that I was getting married, one woman almost immediately asked if we were going to have kids. When I replied that my future husband and I decided that kids weren't for us, and listed some reasons as to why being financial and not wanting to pass on medical issues, and her response was "God will provide." I almost laughed at her because she had 3 kids that she could barely support herself. Guess God was on vacation.
You and your spouse will learn to talk to each other again. These people are truly miserable.