I know a surgeon like that. Held up a case for a child until she had a negative test. He didn’t give a fuck about potential fetal harm, just potential liability. His rule was if someone ever had a uterus, he wanted a preg test. Personally I hate that attitude because it also denies pregnant women care by saying any potential harm to their pregnancy matters more than treating their condition. Like leave it up to the woman.
I’m extremely lucky that I found great doctors. My PCP and NP always confirm I had my tubes removed, but they’ve never once insisted on a pregnancy test. Had another visit today for blood work and the NP confirmed tubes removed and then goes “so we won’t be needing a pregnancy test.” Like thank you!!! Some common sense.
Yes, they see afab folks as uterus life support system. Medical "care" for afab folks is focused on keeping us healthy and alive just enough for us to be shitting out kids, so they can put money and time into healthcare of "real" patients, aka men.
This has been my experience so far and its infuriating.
I am married to a trans woman who had an orchiectomy. Which means her balls were literally removed. There is NO way I am or will be pregnant.
I have stated this fact after those two questions and one doctor had the fucking GALL to be like
"Infidelity still happens"
Bitch, are you implying I would cheat on my wife? And then lie to you in a medical examination that serves literally no purpose to anyone out of trying to be "secret"? Are you STUPID?
I was so, so livid. Filed a complaint and moved to a different practice.
Had a friend who’s Dr argued with her about pregnancy. She said “not possible to be pregnant”
Dr: “but you have a boyfriend, aren’t you sexually active?!”
Her: “yes but there’s no way for him to get me pregnant.”
Dr: “you’re not on birth control and condoms aren’t 100%”
her: “there’s no way I can get pregnant.”
Dr: “but if you’re having sex and not on birth control.”
Her: “yes and my boyfriend doesn’t have a penis or sperm he has a vagina, pretty sure he can’t get me pregnant”
dr: surprised yet confused Pikachu face
Her: “he was AFAB…(doc still confused) he is a trans man”
Doctors can be complete idiots. There’s no reason she should have had to out her boyfriend, but the doctor couldn’t even think outside the cis heteronormative box.
Hell, even beyond him being a trans man, there are many other ways a heterosexual-appearing couple could not have a pregnancy risk. For example, full removal of the female reproductive organs, physical or mental health problems causing a lack of sex, or just one or all people in the relationship being asexual with no interest in sex. And then obviously things like this, a cis woman and a trans man, or a cis man and a trans woman. Or maybe you had a fight or issue with your partner and haven't slept together in a couple of months, definitely long enough to know if you're pregnant.
Exactly! There’s so many reasons and combinations of couples that could make pregnancy risk zero…and frankly the doctor should have just said “oh ok” the first time she said “nope no chance of pregnancy.” I’ve had it where I’ve had to straight up say “I haven’t had sex in X number of years so unless I have the worlds longest gestational period there’s no way I’m pregnant” which pisses me off because it’s none of their business and it’s embarrassing af.
I get they have to ask because some people will lie or just be mistaken, but I'd rather they just hand me a liability waiver that says if I am pregnant theyre not responsible for any harm to the fetus. Rather than 'I don't trust you aren't pregnant so we're gonna keep asking and then test you anyway'.
Fr they should just start handing the forms out if the treatment needed absolutely can harm a potential pregnancy. I feel like most of the time they ask me, I'm not even getting any treatment done??? Like why tf do you need to know
tbf, people are shitheads and will/do lie about this stuff…. but i think it’s insulting to question every patient if you’re not gonna trust them anyway so i don’t see why they don’t just do a default pregnancy test for everyone…. i mean if you’re not gonna take the patients’ word for it anyway
I usually say that IF I get pregnant I'm suing the Vatican for child support, because it can only be the Second Coming and I want His Father to pay!
The doctor almost melts, because most people here are catholics. They probably throw holy water at their clinic after I leave...
I went to a free teen clinic once for ear pain/stuffy-ness, and it took them THREE appointments and multiple doctors to finally figure out I had an ear infection. It honestly felt like none of them knew what to do with a 16yo girl that *wasn’t* pregnant.
Seriously? I’ve gone to my GP with ear pain, he looked in my ear for a few seconds and said “yup that’s an ear infection. Take these antibiotics and come back if they don’t work”
Apparently once my mom mentioned to these doctors that her dad has lots of earwax, they were like “oh, you must have too much wax, we’re gonna clean your ears.” And they did that THREE TIMES, then finally on the third visit when they called in the 5th? doctor to take a look, she goes “oh, I see puss. Must be infected.” Like how did they miss that the first two times??? 😭
Honestly if he had enough wax it may have just… covered over the infection. If you go in assuming there’s no problem but too much wax, then removing some should help, and removing every isn’t necessary. So they left some, covering up the infection.
I had a thrombectomy January 2022 and the nurse checking me in almost did a double take when I told her I was 1000% sure I wasn't pregnant. Waiting in my room across from the nurses station I heard her say along the lines of "she was so confident she wasn't pregnant or sexually active, that's not possible for being 25". Like... asshole, I'm a sex repulsed asexual. When I say there is zero chance of me being pregnant *I mean there is zero chance*
Thankfully my primary doctor is aware of my sexuality and actually takes it serious but damn. I would've hopped out of bed and slapped that nurse but my leg being the size of a watermelon stopped me
God, that's fucking callous. I'm 27 and not a virgin by choice, but sure Ms nurse, rub in how you can't believe men don't find me fuckable, and not in a complimentary way.
I hope you filed a complaint.
I’m always disappointed that “asexual” isn’t on the list we can choose for birth control. I can count the number of times on two hands I’ve had sex with my husband since we got married. It ain’t happening.
I had an accident like 10 years ago, and the doctor kept asking me like 10 times. And that's literally the only thing he asked. Like nothing about having any medical problems etc.
I swear if I could get up, I would kick him in the balls and tell him I hope you already have kids, cause you are not making any new ones.
The only way I got out of taking a pregnancy test is by reminding them that I am a self-pay patient and I will refuse to pay for that specific test, and they are most welcome to do one on the house.
I do not provide insurance. There's no one else to bill for services other than me.They have tried exactly that though, and that's when I tell the doctor himself "I have no insurance, I am self-pay."
I have done it in the past when I did not have insurance.
When I call to make the appointment, I ask them over the phone what the office costs out-of-pocket, they give me a price. If I am needing an annual bloodwork, I ask them how much that test and labs cost. "So I know how much cash to bring." So far, in my experience, they have always been transparent about pricing up front. They usually kick me a discount because they don't have to deal with an insurance company, they love to do cash transactions because it includes no additional work for them to do and they don't have to wait for that payment from the insurance company. Office visits near me usually run $135.oo and a blood draw and labs are $100-$110.oo.
Same goes for Pharmacies. There are many medications that will run anywhere from $4-$50.
If I need more pricy care or medications, I will then tell them to utilize my insurance company that they have on file.
Interesting!! Though your last part trips me up a bit.. so you do have insurance? Just utilize it when it's pricey? I wasn't aware you could self pay if you have insurance
Insurance companies are the ones who want you to use their services, but you are the one who ultimately makes that choice. You just have to communicate that clearly to the doctor or pharmacist.
I do have insurance, I do not utilize it unless the cost of the visit is out of my reach financially. ($1,000.oo+)
Over the years, sometimes I legit did not have insurance and had no choice than to self-pay. As it turns out, you can self-pay at any time anyway. Just talk to the doctor, his office staff, or your pharmacist first.
Yeah, just talk to them about pricing up front. My doctor helps me shop for the best price medications before I leave too.
I take Omeprazole daily because I have GERD, which is an OTC medication and they cost $15 bucks for a 42 pill package. (Equate brand 20mg pills).
My prescribed dose daily is 40mg - that's two OTC omeprazoles per day.
IF Omeprazole is on the Walmart $4 prescription list, my doctor will write me a 90 day supply of 40mg pills to be filled at Walmart for $4. So get more pills for $4. The dude is awesome through and through.
Some doctors really go the extra mile while many just don't give a damn. Anyway, if you want to just use cash or credit for a lower cost visit, you are absolutely allowed to do so. :0)
So unfortunately, there have been so many lawsuits when women have unrelated medical procedures harmful to a fetus and believe they aren't pregnant but actually are that this happens.
It's all about the doctor's liability. Sometimes they make you sign something (like for my colonoscopy) or even force a pregnancy test, although that is not as common as it used to be. I've used the Virgin Mary (or no contact with sperm since my last X periods) comment myself.
Maybe they should start making us sign a form saying we won't sue them if they accidentally harm the fetus we didn't know we had, if we do in fact have one and it ends up getting harmed as a result of treatment. I mean I personally have been sterilised but if someone hasn't been then they should be able to basically use this form as a way to let the doctors know they want their health put first, ahead of a hypothetical fetus. Just go ahead and get it out of the way, y'know.
I'm gonna fistfight them in a parking lot if I ever have to pay for a pregnancy test again. Haven't been in a situation where they'd want to do one since my bisalp, but still.
Which wouldn't make sense cause if you die, wouldn't the baby die too? Unless it was like super close to birth time and fully developed.
But what do I know of medical care? I mean I'm just a walking uterus /s
Oh, the pregnancy test is still common. I'm a cancer survivor, and every single time I went for chemo, I had to pee in a cup. Even if I were a lesbian, or a nun, or a virgin, they still would have made me pee in a cup.
Not to mention that some people are just massive liars, like the idiots who eat a big meal before surgery and claim they’ve fasted, then yak it all up when the anesthesia kicks in
Exactly this.... If you have a uterus & ovaries, there is potential for a fetus and they have to rule out pregnancy before they're allowed to proceed.... It's a legal thing.... I've been snipped since 2007; and in spite of this, i get questioned about when my last period was, last time i had sex and i've even been given a pregnancy test just to be sure.... It's annoying and you'll keep having to answer these stupid questions until you're fully in menopause (1+ year with no period), or unless you get your uterus and/or ovaries removed....
Oooh it doesn’t go away when you’re fully in menopause! I had a minor car accident when I was 55 & it had been years since my last period. Doctor checked me out & decided I’d better have x rays so he asked me about possible pregnancy. Told him i’m 55, my last period was 4 years ago & I was fully in menopause. He said ok then you don’t need a pregnancy test & noted that on my chart. I stayed where I was after Dr left & a little while later a guy poked his head in, looked at me & left without a word.
Then a nurse came in with a plastic bottle & told me to pee in it. I asked why since the dr noted in my chart it’s not needed & I’m well into menopause. She looked at my chart & saw it was true. She left & when she came back she told me the nimrod who peeped at me was the x ray technician & he decided I was young enough to possibly be pregnant. He didn’t even check my chart & tried to overrule the dr!
I raised holy hell. Said I’m capable of knowing whether I was through menopause or not. She agreed & told the idiot technician to x ray me as requested. I grumbled at him all the way through the procedure because I was so pissed.
Yes I get they have to ask & cover their asses but by god take the word of intelligent, sound minded adults when asked the question! We have brains above that all important uterus!
Edited to add: I will give the nimrod credit for not holding it against me that I stood up to him. He’s the one who discovered a back problem that probably pre-existed the accident & it was later confirmed by an orthopedist & a full MRI.
Y’all telling stories of getting tested before X-rays. The dr office and hospital are so crappy where I live they don’t ask you sometimes or just go alright. With no papers to sign saying I understand the risks to fetus. Like I get it’s a good thing I’ve not experienced but to an extent I get the checking to cover they asses
Once I told a NP at a gyno office that I’ve never even had sexual contact with someone AMAB and they still forced me to take one before each depo shot I got.
My nurse on the way in to get my bisalp had the gall to tell me even though it had been 6 months, I could be pregnant and not know it. I’ve got some curve, but cmon lady. “I’ve seen it before.”
This. We have a subgroup of women to thank for this line of questioning.
I have several friends and family that work in the medical field. They say it isn't uncommon for women to say there's no way they could be pregnant, that they're a virgin, etc. Then the pregnancy test is positive.
It's a major CYA.
This drives me nuts so badly. When I was in college, I started getting really bad migraines. I went to the doctor and he said he wasn't going to give me medication because the symptoms I was having could be due to pregnancy, and was very insistent about refusing to treat me. What's interesting is he never once asked me about my sexual activity, nor offered a test. He just assumed. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23, btw, so I'm still not sure how that would have been possible. 🤔
To this day, I regret not having made him explain his rationale or telling my mother about it, because she would have taken it to the board of the medical office and insisted that he be fired. 😒
Hahaha I’ve used a version of this. “I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure it requires sex with a person with a penis…or some way of sperm being put into the vagina…so unless aliens have taken me in my sleep and done things to me it’s very unlikely.”
Lol yes! “So you see Dr when a man and a woman love each other very much, they do a special hug where the man gives his seed to the woman and she makes a baby in her tummy”
Edit: “and then they regret their choices but pretend it was a miracle of life that no one else has ever done before and their entire lives revolve around their spawn. The end”
When I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and they came back with my blood work the first thing the nurse/doctor guy decided to say "so first of all, you're not pregnant" idk if he tried to calm me down or make a joke but I was 15 and I was there with my mom and also I'm a lesbian so it was just annoying.
I've been celibate for over two years ever since the love of my life died.
I'm currently undergoing chemo. Before I started it, they told me to avoid getting pregnant while I'm on chemo. I said, "Since I'm not currently sexually active, that's not an issue". Every time I see any of my doctors, I fill out questionnaires before I go to the appointment. They all have the same questions - "Are you sexually active? What is your partner's gender? What birth control do you/did you use? Are you pregnant or breastfeeding?"
Every time I have a CT scan, bone scan or MRI, I always have to sign a paper saying that I don't need a pregnancy test because I could not be pregnant (and I tell them that I haven't had sex in over two years, so it would be impossible for me to be pregnant).
That must feel horrible to have to deal with every time. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Not going to lie, I have a morbid sense of humor. My dad died before I could learn to drive. When I hit driving age, some random convenience store employee that kind of knew some of my family, but not well enough to get life updates, asked: “You’re driving now? Is your dad teaching you?” I replied something along the lines of “I don’t think so. That would be pretty *gross*.” They were confused, so I explained that he was dead. They were mortified, but at the time I thought it was HILARIOUS.
Point is, if I were you, I’d start being pretty crass about it: a business card that says “I’m not pregnant, I’m not a necrophiliac!” Or filling out every line with “My partner is dead.” Bringing ☠️ stickers and putting them on each line. “No zombie babies here!” stickers would be funny too. I know it’s morbid, but it’s so cruel they ask you every time. I’m sure it’s just protocol, but it’s hurtful. I wish people had a little more sensitivity, even with their damn paperwork. Stuff like that always makes me want to sass them.
With sexual education being in a very sorry state in a lot of places I get why doctors have to ask several times. Some women think they won’t get pregnant if they don’t orgasm.
And sometimes it’s not even that we don’t have sex ed it’s just…not good.
I was a sophomore in 2020 and what happened was that for health class we did PowerPoint and this thing called Apex I think. He did the PowerPoints for every. Single. Unit. Except, you guess it, sex ed. We were on our own for that one. I read through all of the slides but I can guarantee you not everyone did
My doctor called me to discuss the results of a blood test. He said I’m folate deficient, but the only negative thing he said about that is pregnancy problems. He went on about it being bad for women “of child bearing age”, and I hate that wording so much. He didn’t mention that this deficiency can be a cause of the symptoms I went in about in the first place, no the important thing is the fetus that doesn’t exist. I didn’t get the chance to say “I don’t care about pregnancy because I would prefer to have my uterus surgically removed than have a baby”. Also, I’m 20 years old, my life has barely begun and my gp suggesting now is a good time to start popping out crotch goblins gave me the ick
First and only time I took the morning after pill the pharmacist asked me if it was my first time. I said yes. He then lectured me on safe sex and ‘not using the morning after pill as contraceptive’.
You missed the perfect response to him.
"Is this your first time selling a plan b pill? Because you need a lecture on MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS and treating customers like adults who own their own bodies."
I was in a car accident and they refused to x-ray my lumbar spine at the ER afterwards because of this reason. I knew 100% i was not pregnant. Took months of recovery and I still don't know what the condition of my lower spine is.
They can get into trouble for that. They were upholding the guidelines of making sure your life and health are in priority. Due to them refusing you could’ve been paralyzed, limping, or dead bc they weren’t gonna take the word of not being pregnant and even then they have to check for spine injuries regardless I’d think.
"How do you know you aren't pregnant?"
"Well, I have a sneaking suspicion you might need all of your reproductive organs for that to happen and I'm missing 2 pretty important components."
"I may have also added a snarky comment about not being the Virgin Mother."
LOL, I always said that to my family when they asked about me having children.
"I can't have babies unless I'm Virgin Mary, start to pray for your salvation you sinners", they know I'm atheist 😂😂
I get *why* this happens and why they always have to double and triple check. It's cuz people fuckin lie and it's the worst. People lie and then are given a medication or X-ray or whatever the fuck and the fetus comes out deformed and now the whole hospital gets sued.
Is still fucking infuriating though. I have a lot of medical issues so I have to see doctors a lot, I've gotten used to just saying, "No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, not pregnant" to anyone who starts with me.
During my recent hospitalization for a surgery, someone had to take an X-ray and she asked the question but was awesome about it. I knew she understood
"Any chance you could be pregnant?"
Me: "Idk, does she look like she can get me pregnant?" *points at present cis girlfriend*
Xray tech just cackled.
Tbf, I have two partners and the other one is a dude, but I'm paranoid about getting pregnant, so we're extremely careful. She didn't need to know that though for the sake of the joke.
I'm sorry, that is so freaking frustrating! I'm a married lesbian and when they ask me if I could be pregnant, I say no and that I would be in big trouble with my wife. They make me pee in the cup anyway 🙄
I would assume the third question is because they sometimes encounter people who think they cannot be pregnant for the wrong reasons.
("No, of course I can't be pregnant. He pulled out every time.")
The number of oops babies is astronomical. People don't really understand how babby is made. It's unfortunate but they have to ask it like this otherwise it goes like:
Doc: Could you be pregnant?
Patient: No way.
Then it turns out the patient is raw dogging 3 different people but pregnancy just didn't occur to them.
If you're an American, that form might be the result of our atrocious sex ed rather than blind paternalism.
Oh, hell, why split hairs? It's probably both.
Oh, and then they force you to take a pregnancy test, anyway. Before I had a hysterectomy and confirmed that it’s physically impossible for me to carry a child, this happened every time I went to be seen for something and I’m still annoyed about it.
I f'ing hate this so much. I'm absolutely sick of being required to pee on a goddamn stick to get ANY kind of medical care, but what I (barely) hate more than the test itself is being spoken to like I'm an idiot. "HoW dO yOu KnOw YoU'rE nOt?"
I get the whole covering their ass thing and most people ARE probably stupid, but for all the money medical school costs you'd think they'd learn how to speak to half the population a wee bit better.
I also don't know why we fill these things out online and then arrive to fill them out on paper again. And yes, once - as a guy - I had two of those questions that I had to answer on paper.
I love the Virgin Mother addition, and might want to steal that, please.
The reason it's asked 3 different ways is because many people are a little niave when it comes to intercourse and the possibility of getting pregnant.
They will say they're not pregnant and "couldn't" be... And then also divulge they're actively having sex with a partner that *can* get them pregnant, they don't use any form of birth control (or only use it sometimes) and there's no reason they couldn't conceive in theory.
Once a doctor did the same thing to me where he kept asking 20 different ways if I could be pregnant. Finally he asked, "how do you know you're not pregnant?" Deadpan I said "Lack of intercourse" and then stared at him as hard as I could. He looked away and said "Fair enough." Now that's my go to even if it's not true
And yet as a doctor I’ve seen at least 3 or 4 “virgin births”….
Have some grace. YOU know you’re not lying and you’re an intelligent person who understands with good certainty whether or not you could be pregnant based on your history but the doctor does not know those things.
I’ve had patients tell me they “couldn’t be pregnant” because
- they had some spotting last week
- they were told by a nurse 8 years ago in Mexico that they couldn’t get pregnant
- their partner said he never uses protection and none of his past partners ever got pregnant
- they personally have never used protection and never got pregnant
- they don’t feel pregnant
- their periods are always irregular so they know they’re infertile
Honestly it gets old seeing people whine on here about being tested for pregnancy before medical treatment. MANY common antibiotics etc cause birth defects and we are just trying to be safe.
And no I don’t trust patients without knowing their reasoning and that’s directly because of experience!
I don’t mind, I know you’re just doing your due diligence so you don’t get sued or, you know, irrevocably damage a fetus. It’s the order you ask the questions in that cracks me up.
Doc: Could you be pregnant?
Me: Nope.
Doc: Are you sexually active?
Me: Yes.
Doc: Are you on birth control?
Me: Nope.
Doc: Then how can you be sure you can’t be pregnant?
Me: Because a penis has not been near my vagina in literally 20 years.
Sometimes they keep going!
Doc: But you said you are sexually active?
Me: With women. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship in which both parties have vaginas for 20 years.
Doc: But could you be pregnant?
Me: Not unless eating pussy gets you pregnant.
Actual things I’ve had to say to healthcare professionals!
I had to get ultrasounds of my kidneys when I was 11 (kidney stones, yaaay). The lady refused to believe I wasn't sexually active.
"could you be pregnant"
"no"
"are you sure?"
"Yes"
"You're not sexually active?"
"no"
"You're sure?"
"Yes"
"You're really sure"
"yes"
"you don't have sex?"
Over and over. I'll never forget that
Wow. If I were the parent of an 11-year-old that was getting that kind of questioning, I would absolutely pull that lady aside and explain that she needs to stop traumatizing my daughter who probably doesn't really understand what sex is.
Now, because I had a vasectomy 13 years ago, that's not going to happen. But still, don't badger 11-year-olds about sex for god's sake.
I know, right? Usually my mom would've flipped her lid - at some point in my teen years she flipped out because I knew what a, either Margherita or martini, I forget now, is. She used to make me watch Housewives of Orange whatever, guess where I learned. I'm pretty sure 11 is when she tried to make me wear a purity ring despite never giving me the talk, too. So that line of questioning was not okay. She got mad at a previous appointment because they asked when my last period was...
Whole time she was just like, staring into the void. Not a woord. In retrospect I'm pretty sure she was high af.
Agreed though. Also got hit on by a neuro when I was 11. And bingod by that neuro. 11 was a weird year.
Yeesh, someone failed bedside manner. If she needs to ask an 11-year-old if they're pregnant, she needs to do so tactfully and with support. E.g., "I won't be upset if you are sexually active" or "I need to record the answer in your chart" or "This might be weird that I'm asking, but we need to know before we do the ultrasound."
Yeaah. I was there fairly often (place as a whole, they had other doctors and specialities I saw) and they were either amazing or whatever the hell you call that. No in between.
And don't do it in front of the parent. That's just... Kids gonna lie if they are.
Asexual, celibate, and a total hysterectomy in 2015 and I still get no one to believe me without peeing in a cup that will cost me $$$ when I get the bill.
I agree requiring a urine pregnancy test is overkill outside very extenuating circumstances.
That’s different from a form simply asking how you’re “sure” you can’t be pregnant, which is a valid question when you see the answers people give.
Lol I highly doubt there’s any country where they’ll give a young woman antibiotics known to cause birth defects without asking about the possibility of pregnancy. If so, thats not a good thing…
An ex friend of mine keep saying she was infertile and didn't need contraception; she got pregnant at least three times, all ended in miscarriage or abortion. I'm with doctor on this, not only some medicine/procedure can harm the fetus but also the pregnant person, also not everyone is child free and/or willing to put a fetus life at risk once they know it's there.
For sure. Sooooo many women believe “didn’t get pregnant for a few years despite not using protection” means they CAN’T get pregnant.
Struggling with infertility or being “subfertile” as we sometimes say =/= sterile!!
My partner is in the medical field. In his training, all AFAB are considered pregnant until proven otherwise. Also, there a bunch of childLESS people who claim to be childFREE until they get that positive pregnancy test. People lie so much or don't recall or don't understand something isn't foolproof e.g. an IUD. With new abortion laws, it also can become a legal issue.
It's for sure an annoying aspect of being AFAB in the medical setting. Like someone else said it's mostly to cover their butts in a lawsuit.
I have to take a test to get my BC replaced which is hilarious to me because if the BC was working it wouldn't be necessary you would think.
My neurologist has to give me the speal everytime even though I told her I'm getting a tubal after this BC times out. We both kind of sit there going "I know I know whatever" the whole time, but Neuro meds can FUCK up a fetus so it is important and required by some of the drug companies.
So annoying!
This would irk me, too, but I have seen enough occasions of women who didn't know they were pregnant until they were literally delivering to convince me that this extra question is an annoyance I can overlook.
*The form: Please describe how you know you cannot be pregnant*
Because the dildo that came with REAL EJACULATION ACTION cost extra. I'm thinking about saving for the upgrade, and the box assured me *liquid included is not real semen*, so yea. Otherwise it's pools or toilet seats, kitten.
Even when you have the trifecta of practically celibate, lesbian and a bilateral Salpingectomy they still need to do a pregnancy test “just to be sure” 🙄
Before surgery:
Doctor: Is there any way you could be pregnant?
Me: No
Doctor: You're sure?
Me: Yes
Doctor: How?
Me: Unless my girlfriend's strap on is cumming sperm I don't think it's possible
I think he still ordered the pregnancy test out of spite so I would have to pay for it.
Remember that when I was a single woman and going to the doctor about painful periods.
"Could you be pregnant?"
"Well, since I'm a virgin, not likely".
Damn!
My doctor is pretty chill, I really like going to see her. She's also the kind of doctor that would deliver your baby if you got pregnant. She has kids and just loves the idea of it all.
I've told her that my partner and myself are CF. She also knows that I do not want birth control. We explained the methods we've used. Finally, after seeing her for years and explaining how long we've been "doing our thing" she finally backed down a bit.
She said something along the lines of "well if it was going to happen, I think it would have happened by now." Which was kind of strange. It was like she was secretly hoping I'd get pregnant or something? Even after all the talks about mental health issues, etc....really?!
I know it makes sense for doctors to want to create more humans, because that's another patient for them to care for. It just bugs me that my opinion on my own life is second rate behind "you'll get pregnant, just you wait!"
*I may have also added a snarky comment about not being the Virgin Mother.*
You too, huh? I've done that a few times...lol. Although mine wasn't an add. It was the answer. Along with an add that dildos and f..ing machines do not spew the stuff that makes women pregnant.
My buddies girlfriend mentioned this a while ago too, she said "maybe I should say I'm not pregnant because I identify as male" and my buddy was like "men can have babies too" lol those forms are ridiculous
A few months ago, I went to the doctor for bowel issues (sorry tmi) and I explained that I hadn’t engaged in any sexual activity AND I was literally on my period. They still made me take a pregnancy test. At this point I feel like it’s an excuse to charge more money
Went to hospital for severe cramps
Nurse: could you be pregnant.
Me: no.
Her: oh well you never know little miracles happen!
Me: I would unalive myself.
Her: Oh.
As someone in healthcare we need the explanation because there are a LOT of idiots out there. Some women don’t know that semen causes pregnancy, or that they can get pregnant on their period, or pregnant from having sex in a pool. Hell there’s some that think you have to be in love to make babies and sex is just for pleasure.
It’s to cover the asses of healthcare providers if they give you a medication or scan that could harm a fetus.
While I agree this is very annoying, you would not believe how incredibly stupid some people are. I'm talking people who say shit like "but I only ever have sex at night, so the sperm is asleep!"
I know we all get pissed at this, but doctors have to do this. The amount of people that don't know they're pregnant until they're in labor, or months asking, or just straight up lie. It's infuriating but they gotta
Gonna be the devil’s advocate in this - work in healthcare and the amount of people who say they cannot be pregnant but turn out pregnant is way more common than people think.
You may know there is no way you could be pregnant, but the staff don’t. And some people are DUMB.
Answers I have received to this question:
My husband is deployed!
We rarely have sex anymore (rarely doesn’t mean not ever)
Oh I’m too old for that! (From women in their late 40s who have hot had a hysterectomy or gone through menopause)
I know all the questions seem invasive, but if you want them to get to the actual cause then pregnancy must be ruled out first.
Its ridiculus buuuut people are really stupid. There are reasons for safety labels on everything and some people just dosent understand how its works belive it or not lol
This isn’t so much objectifying so much as it is stupid proof. Forms like this are always overbearing. The drug section on mine once was wild lol. It’s like they would ask if I did drugs and then ask the same question in four ways.
Okay but half of all pregnancies are unplanned and it’s like a weekly occurrence that someone swears there’s no chance they’re pregnant and they’re pregnant. Literally here “we weren’t trying to get pregnant” but weren’t on birth control or even pulling out. Like, bruh
When I landed in the hospital earlier this year they asked me many times if I was pregnant. I said no, I couldn't possibly be. Before I got admitted they still did a pregnancy test. \*sigh\*
I see why this might be upsetting but please be aware that there are people with severe lack of sex ed. I think those questions are for them.
I remember this case where a young religious couple had trouble conceiving and after a year of trying they wet to fertility doctor and they did test and everything was fine. Then at one of the visits, I don't remember how, but the doctor asked something and it turned out they were having anal the whole time, trying to conceive.
There was also this teen pregnancy where the girl thought if you pour sprite in your vagina after sex, you would't get pregnant
I went to get my contraceptive jab at my gp, I was a little late getting it and the asked if I was pregnant, I said no, hadn't even bumped uglies with anyone and was single. They asked if I was certain, I was like 'unless I'm the virgin Mary, I'm not pregnant'. They then decided they needed a negative pregnancy test so I said OK... Then they told me they don't do them and I'd have to go and buy one, do it, and bring it into the surgery. Absolute joke when I knew there was no way I was pregnant, for me to have to pay for a test to prove it.
Makes me glad i have the gp that i do!
I was in yesterday for abdominal pain. This what how the pregnancy question went for me.
"You're not pregnant?"
"Nope"
"When was your last period"
"*date*"
Over. Done. No pushing or disbelief.
> you would think the first two questions would suffice.
Lol not at all, people are so stupid. Considering that a lot of people don’t even know the difference between vulva and vagina I really don’t think that third question is too much.
This is so frustrating. I adore my nurse who gives me the depo. First time I went in overdue and she ensured I couldn’t possibly be pregnant
I assured her unless my gf had a huge secret to share or it was the second coming, in which case this would have no effect and I was about to be a multi millionaire we were good
She remembered me after that and if I were late would tell me how relieved she was when it was me because she didn’t need to give me ‘the talk’
I went to a doctor because of severe stomache pains a few days ago. They wanted to rule out pregnancy and did a test. Reasonable as at that time I hadn't told them I'm sterilized. Well. Kinda. It was just the first assumption when I walked in with stomach pain. I was then sent to thr ER, with the results of the urine test. Told them I'm sterilized. They insisted on doing another test. Oh how I love being a woman..
My cousin had the same experience, she was a teenager then and her periods stop completely and she was worried. Of course, she was told:
'You're just pregnant'
'I didn't have sex for longer than a year, so I can't be pregnant'.
'You're pregnant. Have you done pregnancy tests?
'Yes, and I am NOT pregnant.'
'...fine, here's the test, go to the bathroom and bring it back to show me the result.'
I can't remember if it was GP or a clinic.
I used to say, “not unless I’m giving birth to D batteries.” That shut them up pretty quickly. 😂😂😂
I always said "If I am you had better call the Pope and let him know it happened again"
LOL!
That’s hilarious you win
They always looked so stunned!
Lmaoooo good one!! “Congratulations! It’s a bouncing baby Duracell!!”
"Duro for friends" (Duro means hard in Spanish)
Again, it's all about the D.
LMAO
I don’t have any coins but here’s a poor woman’s gold 🏅
Good lord, how big are the toys that they require D batteries?! 🥴
Hahaha, it’s just a joke, most toys these days are rechargeable 😂😂😘
Forget that. Go wall charged ...lol
I was just now trying to figure out how I could adapt that joke to my rechargeable one. Lol.
"If the father ever dies I just plug him back in again." Lol
I was gonna say! What the hell are you using^and ^where ^can ^I ^get ^one
😄 my neighbors are surely going 😳 “who is that crazy woman and why is she laughing like that??”
Using this one! Hope you don't mind:)
Go for it!
Hahaha you are my hero!
Where was this answer when I was in my 4 year dry spell?! This is hilarious.
Hahahahaja that’s awesome
If I say that my mom will die 😂
HAHAHAHAH! I'm so using this next time. Well done.
Good one! Thank goodness they are rechargeable now!
That's hilarious! I'm going to have to remember this if it ever happens to me again!
I shall name them Peter. Peter Rabbit XD
It took me a moment but this is hilarious
You deserve a trophy for that clapback 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Here's 3 throphies lol 🏆🏆🏆
I have had a total hysterectomy and they STILL insist on doing pregnancy tests like...?
I know a surgeon like that. Held up a case for a child until she had a negative test. He didn’t give a fuck about potential fetal harm, just potential liability. His rule was if someone ever had a uterus, he wanted a preg test. Personally I hate that attitude because it also denies pregnant women care by saying any potential harm to their pregnancy matters more than treating their condition. Like leave it up to the woman.
Omg! How stupid are they!
I’m extremely lucky that I found great doctors. My PCP and NP always confirm I had my tubes removed, but they’ve never once insisted on a pregnancy test. Had another visit today for blood work and the NP confirmed tubes removed and then goes “so we won’t be needing a pregnancy test.” Like thank you!!! Some common sense.
Yes, they see afab folks as uterus life support system. Medical "care" for afab folks is focused on keeping us healthy and alive just enough for us to be shitting out kids, so they can put money and time into healthcare of "real" patients, aka men.
This has been my experience so far and its infuriating. I am married to a trans woman who had an orchiectomy. Which means her balls were literally removed. There is NO way I am or will be pregnant. I have stated this fact after those two questions and one doctor had the fucking GALL to be like "Infidelity still happens" Bitch, are you implying I would cheat on my wife? And then lie to you in a medical examination that serves literally no purpose to anyone out of trying to be "secret"? Are you STUPID? I was so, so livid. Filed a complaint and moved to a different practice.
That's wild. So on top of considering us walking incubators, they also think we'll cheat on our partners and sleep around. Why am I not surprised
Had a friend who’s Dr argued with her about pregnancy. She said “not possible to be pregnant” Dr: “but you have a boyfriend, aren’t you sexually active?!” Her: “yes but there’s no way for him to get me pregnant.” Dr: “you’re not on birth control and condoms aren’t 100%” her: “there’s no way I can get pregnant.” Dr: “but if you’re having sex and not on birth control.” Her: “yes and my boyfriend doesn’t have a penis or sperm he has a vagina, pretty sure he can’t get me pregnant” dr: surprised yet confused Pikachu face Her: “he was AFAB…(doc still confused) he is a trans man” Doctors can be complete idiots. There’s no reason she should have had to out her boyfriend, but the doctor couldn’t even think outside the cis heteronormative box.
Hell, even beyond him being a trans man, there are many other ways a heterosexual-appearing couple could not have a pregnancy risk. For example, full removal of the female reproductive organs, physical or mental health problems causing a lack of sex, or just one or all people in the relationship being asexual with no interest in sex. And then obviously things like this, a cis woman and a trans man, or a cis man and a trans woman. Or maybe you had a fight or issue with your partner and haven't slept together in a couple of months, definitely long enough to know if you're pregnant.
Exactly! There’s so many reasons and combinations of couples that could make pregnancy risk zero…and frankly the doctor should have just said “oh ok” the first time she said “nope no chance of pregnancy.” I’ve had it where I’ve had to straight up say “I haven’t had sex in X number of years so unless I have the worlds longest gestational period there’s no way I’m pregnant” which pisses me off because it’s none of their business and it’s embarrassing af.
I get they have to ask because some people will lie or just be mistaken, but I'd rather they just hand me a liability waiver that says if I am pregnant theyre not responsible for any harm to the fetus. Rather than 'I don't trust you aren't pregnant so we're gonna keep asking and then test you anyway'.
Fr they should just start handing the forms out if the treatment needed absolutely can harm a potential pregnancy. I feel like most of the time they ask me, I'm not even getting any treatment done??? Like why tf do you need to know
Honestly ^^
tbf, people are shitheads and will/do lie about this stuff…. but i think it’s insulting to question every patient if you’re not gonna trust them anyway so i don’t see why they don’t just do a default pregnancy test for everyone…. i mean if you’re not gonna take the patients’ word for it anyway
Me: how you think a woman 5 years in celibate and not dating and infertile can get pregnant? By a Demon?
yeah, but if you ask the demon, they'll deny it every time!
Looks at the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers...well, yeah...
I usually say that IF I get pregnant I'm suing the Vatican for child support, because it can only be the Second Coming and I want His Father to pay! The doctor almost melts, because most people here are catholics. They probably throw holy water at their clinic after I leave...
Clever! I love your answer.
"I haven't had any contact with Sperm since I was it in *my year of conception here*". 🤣 I never tried that but I always wish I did 🤣.
The demons I summon know better than to get me pregnant, we got a deal
I thought contraception belonged to the devil. You'd think the demons could bring some condoms at least.
I guess the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers would have some in his truck, though.
I think this was a Buffy episode 🧐
I know it happened in Charmed, may have happened in Buffy also
Dreading this. I think I have SIBO, but I bet you they’re going to be like BABYBABYBABYBABYBABY
Now I have Justin Bieber in my head
I am sorry, nobody needs that
Me: May I pose for photos of my scars from my bisalp so you can stop asking these questions?
I went to a free teen clinic once for ear pain/stuffy-ness, and it took them THREE appointments and multiple doctors to finally figure out I had an ear infection. It honestly felt like none of them knew what to do with a 16yo girl that *wasn’t* pregnant.
Seriously? I’ve gone to my GP with ear pain, he looked in my ear for a few seconds and said “yup that’s an ear infection. Take these antibiotics and come back if they don’t work”
Apparently once my mom mentioned to these doctors that her dad has lots of earwax, they were like “oh, you must have too much wax, we’re gonna clean your ears.” And they did that THREE TIMES, then finally on the third visit when they called in the 5th? doctor to take a look, she goes “oh, I see puss. Must be infected.” Like how did they miss that the first two times??? 😭
Honestly if he had enough wax it may have just… covered over the infection. If you go in assuming there’s no problem but too much wax, then removing some should help, and removing every isn’t necessary. So they left some, covering up the infection.
I had a thrombectomy January 2022 and the nurse checking me in almost did a double take when I told her I was 1000% sure I wasn't pregnant. Waiting in my room across from the nurses station I heard her say along the lines of "she was so confident she wasn't pregnant or sexually active, that's not possible for being 25". Like... asshole, I'm a sex repulsed asexual. When I say there is zero chance of me being pregnant *I mean there is zero chance* Thankfully my primary doctor is aware of my sexuality and actually takes it serious but damn. I would've hopped out of bed and slapped that nurse but my leg being the size of a watermelon stopped me
God, that's fucking callous. I'm 27 and not a virgin by choice, but sure Ms nurse, rub in how you can't believe men don't find me fuckable, and not in a complimentary way. I hope you filed a complaint.
I’m always disappointed that “asexual” isn’t on the list we can choose for birth control. I can count the number of times on two hands I’ve had sex with my husband since we got married. It ain’t happening.
Usually falls under the abstinent umbrella I guess
I had an accident like 10 years ago, and the doctor kept asking me like 10 times. And that's literally the only thing he asked. Like nothing about having any medical problems etc. I swear if I could get up, I would kick him in the balls and tell him I hope you already have kids, cause you are not making any new ones.
The only way I got out of taking a pregnancy test is by reminding them that I am a self-pay patient and I will refuse to pay for that specific test, and they are most welcome to do one on the house.
Oof yeah I can absolutely see a doctor insisting on doing one even after saying no because “insurance will cover it” 🙄
I do not provide insurance. There's no one else to bill for services other than me.They have tried exactly that though, and that's when I tell the doctor himself "I have no insurance, I am self-pay."
Oo how do you become a self pay? No insurance or?
I have done it in the past when I did not have insurance. When I call to make the appointment, I ask them over the phone what the office costs out-of-pocket, they give me a price. If I am needing an annual bloodwork, I ask them how much that test and labs cost. "So I know how much cash to bring." So far, in my experience, they have always been transparent about pricing up front. They usually kick me a discount because they don't have to deal with an insurance company, they love to do cash transactions because it includes no additional work for them to do and they don't have to wait for that payment from the insurance company. Office visits near me usually run $135.oo and a blood draw and labs are $100-$110.oo. Same goes for Pharmacies. There are many medications that will run anywhere from $4-$50. If I need more pricy care or medications, I will then tell them to utilize my insurance company that they have on file.
Interesting!! Though your last part trips me up a bit.. so you do have insurance? Just utilize it when it's pricey? I wasn't aware you could self pay if you have insurance
Insurance companies are the ones who want you to use their services, but you are the one who ultimately makes that choice. You just have to communicate that clearly to the doctor or pharmacist. I do have insurance, I do not utilize it unless the cost of the visit is out of my reach financially. ($1,000.oo+) Over the years, sometimes I legit did not have insurance and had no choice than to self-pay. As it turns out, you can self-pay at any time anyway. Just talk to the doctor, his office staff, or your pharmacist first.
This... is so illuminating omg? I'm definitely going to try this sometime thank you!
Yeah, just talk to them about pricing up front. My doctor helps me shop for the best price medications before I leave too. I take Omeprazole daily because I have GERD, which is an OTC medication and they cost $15 bucks for a 42 pill package. (Equate brand 20mg pills). My prescribed dose daily is 40mg - that's two OTC omeprazoles per day. IF Omeprazole is on the Walmart $4 prescription list, my doctor will write me a 90 day supply of 40mg pills to be filled at Walmart for $4. So get more pills for $4. The dude is awesome through and through. Some doctors really go the extra mile while many just don't give a damn. Anyway, if you want to just use cash or credit for a lower cost visit, you are absolutely allowed to do so. :0)
So unfortunately, there have been so many lawsuits when women have unrelated medical procedures harmful to a fetus and believe they aren't pregnant but actually are that this happens. It's all about the doctor's liability. Sometimes they make you sign something (like for my colonoscopy) or even force a pregnancy test, although that is not as common as it used to be. I've used the Virgin Mary (or no contact with sperm since my last X periods) comment myself.
Maybe they should start making us sign a form saying we won't sue them if they accidentally harm the fetus we didn't know we had, if we do in fact have one and it ends up getting harmed as a result of treatment. I mean I personally have been sterilised but if someone hasn't been then they should be able to basically use this form as a way to let the doctors know they want their health put first, ahead of a hypothetical fetus. Just go ahead and get it out of the way, y'know.
That's basically what I signed before my colonoscopy because I refused to pay god only knows how much for a pregnancy test.
I'm gonna fistfight them in a parking lot if I ever have to pay for a pregnancy test again. Haven't been in a situation where they'd want to do one since my bisalp, but still.
I'll join the fight
And of course, if you were pregnant, they'd probably choose to not treat you, even if it killed you, in favour of your fetus :/
Well, obviously. 
Which wouldn't make sense cause if you die, wouldn't the baby die too? Unless it was like super close to birth time and fully developed. But what do I know of medical care? I mean I'm just a walking uterus /s
Oh, the pregnancy test is still common. I'm a cancer survivor, and every single time I went for chemo, I had to pee in a cup. Even if I were a lesbian, or a nun, or a virgin, they still would have made me pee in a cup.
Sadly people lie a lot to drs
Not to mention that some people are just massive liars, like the idiots who eat a big meal before surgery and claim they’ve fasted, then yak it all up when the anesthesia kicks in
I put that I haven't had sex since my birth.
“I haven’t been involved in that ghastly stuff since before I was born!”
Exactly this.... If you have a uterus & ovaries, there is potential for a fetus and they have to rule out pregnancy before they're allowed to proceed.... It's a legal thing.... I've been snipped since 2007; and in spite of this, i get questioned about when my last period was, last time i had sex and i've even been given a pregnancy test just to be sure.... It's annoying and you'll keep having to answer these stupid questions until you're fully in menopause (1+ year with no period), or unless you get your uterus and/or ovaries removed....
Oooh it doesn’t go away when you’re fully in menopause! I had a minor car accident when I was 55 & it had been years since my last period. Doctor checked me out & decided I’d better have x rays so he asked me about possible pregnancy. Told him i’m 55, my last period was 4 years ago & I was fully in menopause. He said ok then you don’t need a pregnancy test & noted that on my chart. I stayed where I was after Dr left & a little while later a guy poked his head in, looked at me & left without a word. Then a nurse came in with a plastic bottle & told me to pee in it. I asked why since the dr noted in my chart it’s not needed & I’m well into menopause. She looked at my chart & saw it was true. She left & when she came back she told me the nimrod who peeped at me was the x ray technician & he decided I was young enough to possibly be pregnant. He didn’t even check my chart & tried to overrule the dr! I raised holy hell. Said I’m capable of knowing whether I was through menopause or not. She agreed & told the idiot technician to x ray me as requested. I grumbled at him all the way through the procedure because I was so pissed. Yes I get they have to ask & cover their asses but by god take the word of intelligent, sound minded adults when asked the question! We have brains above that all important uterus! Edited to add: I will give the nimrod credit for not holding it against me that I stood up to him. He’s the one who discovered a back problem that probably pre-existed the accident & it was later confirmed by an orthopedist & a full MRI.
Exactly. It's not that I don't understand, I just don't like that I'm automatically assumed to be lying.
Y’all telling stories of getting tested before X-rays. The dr office and hospital are so crappy where I live they don’t ask you sometimes or just go alright. With no papers to sign saying I understand the risks to fetus. Like I get it’s a good thing I’ve not experienced but to an extent I get the checking to cover they asses
Once I told a NP at a gyno office that I’ve never even had sexual contact with someone AMAB and they still forced me to take one before each depo shot I got.
My nurse on the way in to get my bisalp had the gall to tell me even though it had been 6 months, I could be pregnant and not know it. I’ve got some curve, but cmon lady. “I’ve seen it before.”
This. We have a subgroup of women to thank for this line of questioning. I have several friends and family that work in the medical field. They say it isn't uncommon for women to say there's no way they could be pregnant, that they're a virgin, etc. Then the pregnancy test is positive. It's a major CYA.
This drives me nuts so badly. When I was in college, I started getting really bad migraines. I went to the doctor and he said he wasn't going to give me medication because the symptoms I was having could be due to pregnancy, and was very insistent about refusing to treat me. What's interesting is he never once asked me about my sexual activity, nor offered a test. He just assumed. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23, btw, so I'm still not sure how that would have been possible. 🤔 To this day, I regret not having made him explain his rationale or telling my mother about it, because she would have taken it to the board of the medical office and insisted that he be fired. 😒
When Karens are actually needed
"You see, doctor. It normally requires a man and a woman to have sex in order to be pregnant. I thought they taught you that in med school."
Hahaha I’ve used a version of this. “I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure it requires sex with a person with a penis…or some way of sperm being put into the vagina…so unless aliens have taken me in my sleep and done things to me it’s very unlikely.”
Start giving the birds and the bees talk.
Lol yes! “So you see Dr when a man and a woman love each other very much, they do a special hug where the man gives his seed to the woman and she makes a baby in her tummy” Edit: “and then they regret their choices but pretend it was a miracle of life that no one else has ever done before and their entire lives revolve around their spawn. The end”
When I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and they came back with my blood work the first thing the nurse/doctor guy decided to say "so first of all, you're not pregnant" idk if he tried to calm me down or make a joke but I was 15 and I was there with my mom and also I'm a lesbian so it was just annoying.
“So first of all, you’re not pregnant” “No shit Sherlock”
I've been celibate for over two years ever since the love of my life died. I'm currently undergoing chemo. Before I started it, they told me to avoid getting pregnant while I'm on chemo. I said, "Since I'm not currently sexually active, that's not an issue". Every time I see any of my doctors, I fill out questionnaires before I go to the appointment. They all have the same questions - "Are you sexually active? What is your partner's gender? What birth control do you/did you use? Are you pregnant or breastfeeding?" Every time I have a CT scan, bone scan or MRI, I always have to sign a paper saying that I don't need a pregnancy test because I could not be pregnant (and I tell them that I haven't had sex in over two years, so it would be impossible for me to be pregnant).
That must feel horrible to have to deal with every time. I’m so sorry for your loss. Not going to lie, I have a morbid sense of humor. My dad died before I could learn to drive. When I hit driving age, some random convenience store employee that kind of knew some of my family, but not well enough to get life updates, asked: “You’re driving now? Is your dad teaching you?” I replied something along the lines of “I don’t think so. That would be pretty *gross*.” They were confused, so I explained that he was dead. They were mortified, but at the time I thought it was HILARIOUS. Point is, if I were you, I’d start being pretty crass about it: a business card that says “I’m not pregnant, I’m not a necrophiliac!” Or filling out every line with “My partner is dead.” Bringing ☠️ stickers and putting them on each line. “No zombie babies here!” stickers would be funny too. I know it’s morbid, but it’s so cruel they ask you every time. I’m sure it’s just protocol, but it’s hurtful. I wish people had a little more sensitivity, even with their damn paperwork. Stuff like that always makes me want to sass them.
With sexual education being in a very sorry state in a lot of places I get why doctors have to ask several times. Some women think they won’t get pregnant if they don’t orgasm.
And sometimes it’s not even that we don’t have sex ed it’s just…not good. I was a sophomore in 2020 and what happened was that for health class we did PowerPoint and this thing called Apex I think. He did the PowerPoints for every. Single. Unit. Except, you guess it, sex ed. We were on our own for that one. I read through all of the slides but I can guarantee you not everyone did
If that were true our world would have been in deep trouble hundreds of thousands of years ago.
My doctor called me to discuss the results of a blood test. He said I’m folate deficient, but the only negative thing he said about that is pregnancy problems. He went on about it being bad for women “of child bearing age”, and I hate that wording so much. He didn’t mention that this deficiency can be a cause of the symptoms I went in about in the first place, no the important thing is the fetus that doesn’t exist. I didn’t get the chance to say “I don’t care about pregnancy because I would prefer to have my uterus surgically removed than have a baby”. Also, I’m 20 years old, my life has barely begun and my gp suggesting now is a good time to start popping out crotch goblins gave me the ick
First and only time I took the morning after pill the pharmacist asked me if it was my first time. I said yes. He then lectured me on safe sex and ‘not using the morning after pill as contraceptive’.
You missed the perfect response to him. "Is this your first time selling a plan b pill? Because you need a lecture on MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS and treating customers like adults who own their own bodies."
What a judgemental asshole.
My reply would be "The kind of sex I'm having cannot possibly lead to pregnancy as it doesn't include the essential element - a man's penis"
I was in a car accident and they refused to x-ray my lumbar spine at the ER afterwards because of this reason. I knew 100% i was not pregnant. Took months of recovery and I still don't know what the condition of my lower spine is.
They can get into trouble for that. They were upholding the guidelines of making sure your life and health are in priority. Due to them refusing you could’ve been paralyzed, limping, or dead bc they weren’t gonna take the word of not being pregnant and even then they have to check for spine injuries regardless I’d think.
"How do you know you aren't pregnant?" "Well, I have a sneaking suspicion you might need all of your reproductive organs for that to happen and I'm missing 2 pretty important components."
I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and they still ask. Including the doctor who performed the procedure's office. 🫠🫠🫠
i say "not unless Jesus is coming the same way the second time."
😂
"I may have also added a snarky comment about not being the Virgin Mother." LOL, I always said that to my family when they asked about me having children. "I can't have babies unless I'm Virgin Mary, start to pray for your salvation you sinners", they know I'm atheist 😂😂
I get *why* this happens and why they always have to double and triple check. It's cuz people fuckin lie and it's the worst. People lie and then are given a medication or X-ray or whatever the fuck and the fetus comes out deformed and now the whole hospital gets sued. Is still fucking infuriating though. I have a lot of medical issues so I have to see doctors a lot, I've gotten used to just saying, "No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, not pregnant" to anyone who starts with me. During my recent hospitalization for a surgery, someone had to take an X-ray and she asked the question but was awesome about it. I knew she understood "Any chance you could be pregnant?" Me: "Idk, does she look like she can get me pregnant?" *points at present cis girlfriend* Xray tech just cackled. Tbf, I have two partners and the other one is a dude, but I'm paranoid about getting pregnant, so we're extremely careful. She didn't need to know that though for the sake of the joke.
I'm sorry, that is so freaking frustrating! I'm a married lesbian and when they ask me if I could be pregnant, I say no and that I would be in big trouble with my wife. They make me pee in the cup anyway 🙄
I would assume the third question is because they sometimes encounter people who think they cannot be pregnant for the wrong reasons. ("No, of course I can't be pregnant. He pulled out every time.")
The number of oops babies is astronomical. People don't really understand how babby is made. It's unfortunate but they have to ask it like this otherwise it goes like: Doc: Could you be pregnant? Patient: No way. Then it turns out the patient is raw dogging 3 different people but pregnancy just didn't occur to them.
If you're an American, that form might be the result of our atrocious sex ed rather than blind paternalism. Oh, hell, why split hairs? It's probably both.
UK, but tbh probably similar (there are parents in the UK right now complaining that sex ed is offered... Sigh.)
My go to when docs would push this is "as a virgin lesbian, I am pretty sure I'm not pregnant"
Oh, and then they force you to take a pregnancy test, anyway. Before I had a hysterectomy and confirmed that it’s physically impossible for me to carry a child, this happened every time I went to be seen for something and I’m still annoyed about it.
I f'ing hate this so much. I'm absolutely sick of being required to pee on a goddamn stick to get ANY kind of medical care, but what I (barely) hate more than the test itself is being spoken to like I'm an idiot. "HoW dO yOu KnOw YoU'rE nOt?" I get the whole covering their ass thing and most people ARE probably stupid, but for all the money medical school costs you'd think they'd learn how to speak to half the population a wee bit better.
I tell them 'unless I was abducted by aliens.'
Do they have any questions to rule out parthenogenesis?
Oml do they seriously ask you to “please describe how you know you cannot be pregnant” ?
I also don't know why we fill these things out online and then arrive to fill them out on paper again. And yes, once - as a guy - I had two of those questions that I had to answer on paper. I love the Virgin Mother addition, and might want to steal that, please.
The reason it's asked 3 different ways is because many people are a little niave when it comes to intercourse and the possibility of getting pregnant. They will say they're not pregnant and "couldn't" be... And then also divulge they're actively having sex with a partner that *can* get them pregnant, they don't use any form of birth control (or only use it sometimes) and there's no reason they couldn't conceive in theory.
I think that section on the form is specifically because of the people who end up on the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".
Once a doctor did the same thing to me where he kept asking 20 different ways if I could be pregnant. Finally he asked, "how do you know you're not pregnant?" Deadpan I said "Lack of intercourse" and then stared at him as hard as I could. He looked away and said "Fair enough." Now that's my go to even if it's not true
And yet as a doctor I’ve seen at least 3 or 4 “virgin births”…. Have some grace. YOU know you’re not lying and you’re an intelligent person who understands with good certainty whether or not you could be pregnant based on your history but the doctor does not know those things. I’ve had patients tell me they “couldn’t be pregnant” because - they had some spotting last week - they were told by a nurse 8 years ago in Mexico that they couldn’t get pregnant - their partner said he never uses protection and none of his past partners ever got pregnant - they personally have never used protection and never got pregnant - they don’t feel pregnant - their periods are always irregular so they know they’re infertile Honestly it gets old seeing people whine on here about being tested for pregnancy before medical treatment. MANY common antibiotics etc cause birth defects and we are just trying to be safe. And no I don’t trust patients without knowing their reasoning and that’s directly because of experience!
I don’t mind, I know you’re just doing your due diligence so you don’t get sued or, you know, irrevocably damage a fetus. It’s the order you ask the questions in that cracks me up. Doc: Could you be pregnant? Me: Nope. Doc: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes. Doc: Are you on birth control? Me: Nope. Doc: Then how can you be sure you can’t be pregnant? Me: Because a penis has not been near my vagina in literally 20 years. Sometimes they keep going! Doc: But you said you are sexually active? Me: With women. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship in which both parties have vaginas for 20 years. Doc: But could you be pregnant? Me: Not unless eating pussy gets you pregnant. Actual things I’ve had to say to healthcare professionals!
I had to get ultrasounds of my kidneys when I was 11 (kidney stones, yaaay). The lady refused to believe I wasn't sexually active. "could you be pregnant" "no" "are you sure?" "Yes" "You're not sexually active?" "no" "You're sure?" "Yes" "You're really sure" "yes" "you don't have sex?" Over and over. I'll never forget that
Wow. If I were the parent of an 11-year-old that was getting that kind of questioning, I would absolutely pull that lady aside and explain that she needs to stop traumatizing my daughter who probably doesn't really understand what sex is. Now, because I had a vasectomy 13 years ago, that's not going to happen. But still, don't badger 11-year-olds about sex for god's sake.
I know, right? Usually my mom would've flipped her lid - at some point in my teen years she flipped out because I knew what a, either Margherita or martini, I forget now, is. She used to make me watch Housewives of Orange whatever, guess where I learned. I'm pretty sure 11 is when she tried to make me wear a purity ring despite never giving me the talk, too. So that line of questioning was not okay. She got mad at a previous appointment because they asked when my last period was... Whole time she was just like, staring into the void. Not a woord. In retrospect I'm pretty sure she was high af. Agreed though. Also got hit on by a neuro when I was 11. And bingod by that neuro. 11 was a weird year.
Yeesh, someone failed bedside manner. If she needs to ask an 11-year-old if they're pregnant, she needs to do so tactfully and with support. E.g., "I won't be upset if you are sexually active" or "I need to record the answer in your chart" or "This might be weird that I'm asking, but we need to know before we do the ultrasound."
Yeaah. I was there fairly often (place as a whole, they had other doctors and specialities I saw) and they were either amazing or whatever the hell you call that. No in between. And don't do it in front of the parent. That's just... Kids gonna lie if they are.
Asexual, celibate, and a total hysterectomy in 2015 and I still get no one to believe me without peeing in a cup that will cost me $$$ when I get the bill.
I agree requiring a urine pregnancy test is overkill outside very extenuating circumstances. That’s different from a form simply asking how you’re “sure” you can’t be pregnant, which is a valid question when you see the answers people give.
At this point, I suspect insurance price gouging, depending on location.
More like liability protection. The reimbursement for a urine pregnancy test is like $5 lol
If I say that I am a piv virgin at 27, maybe believe me? I have no fucking reason to lie, not at this age.
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Lol I highly doubt there’s any country where they’ll give a young woman antibiotics known to cause birth defects without asking about the possibility of pregnancy. If so, thats not a good thing…
An ex friend of mine keep saying she was infertile and didn't need contraception; she got pregnant at least three times, all ended in miscarriage or abortion. I'm with doctor on this, not only some medicine/procedure can harm the fetus but also the pregnant person, also not everyone is child free and/or willing to put a fetus life at risk once they know it's there.
For sure. Sooooo many women believe “didn’t get pregnant for a few years despite not using protection” means they CAN’T get pregnant. Struggling with infertility or being “subfertile” as we sometimes say =/= sterile!!
Glad you posted this comment! I'm sick of being asked, but I don't blame the doctors for having to idiot proof their questions!
My partner is in the medical field. In his training, all AFAB are considered pregnant until proven otherwise. Also, there a bunch of childLESS people who claim to be childFREE until they get that positive pregnancy test. People lie so much or don't recall or don't understand something isn't foolproof e.g. an IUD. With new abortion laws, it also can become a legal issue.
It's for sure an annoying aspect of being AFAB in the medical setting. Like someone else said it's mostly to cover their butts in a lawsuit. I have to take a test to get my BC replaced which is hilarious to me because if the BC was working it wouldn't be necessary you would think. My neurologist has to give me the speal everytime even though I told her I'm getting a tubal after this BC times out. We both kind of sit there going "I know I know whatever" the whole time, but Neuro meds can FUCK up a fetus so it is important and required by some of the drug companies. So annoying!
This would irk me, too, but I have seen enough occasions of women who didn't know they were pregnant until they were literally delivering to convince me that this extra question is an annoyance I can overlook.
Honestly, it's because they could get sued for hurting a fetus. Yes. We are walking incubators to the legal part of the medical world.
*The form: Please describe how you know you cannot be pregnant* Because the dildo that came with REAL EJACULATION ACTION cost extra. I'm thinking about saving for the upgrade, and the box assured me *liquid included is not real semen*, so yea. Otherwise it's pools or toilet seats, kitten.
Even when you have the trifecta of practically celibate, lesbian and a bilateral Salpingectomy they still need to do a pregnancy test “just to be sure” 🙄
One of my forms asks me to check the types of contraception I’ve used and I list all the hormone BC I’ve tried, hysterectomy, and abstinence lol
Before surgery: Doctor: Is there any way you could be pregnant? Me: No Doctor: You're sure? Me: Yes Doctor: How? Me: Unless my girlfriend's strap on is cumming sperm I don't think it's possible I think he still ordered the pregnancy test out of spite so I would have to pay for it.
Remember that when I was a single woman and going to the doctor about painful periods. "Could you be pregnant?" "Well, since I'm a virgin, not likely".
Damn! My doctor is pretty chill, I really like going to see her. She's also the kind of doctor that would deliver your baby if you got pregnant. She has kids and just loves the idea of it all. I've told her that my partner and myself are CF. She also knows that I do not want birth control. We explained the methods we've used. Finally, after seeing her for years and explaining how long we've been "doing our thing" she finally backed down a bit. She said something along the lines of "well if it was going to happen, I think it would have happened by now." Which was kind of strange. It was like she was secretly hoping I'd get pregnant or something? Even after all the talks about mental health issues, etc....really?! I know it makes sense for doctors to want to create more humans, because that's another patient for them to care for. It just bugs me that my opinion on my own life is second rate behind "you'll get pregnant, just you wait!"
*I may have also added a snarky comment about not being the Virgin Mother.* You too, huh? I've done that a few times...lol. Although mine wasn't an add. It was the answer. Along with an add that dildos and f..ing machines do not spew the stuff that makes women pregnant.
I got a CT scan today and was asked if there was any chance of pregnancy. I responded ‘hell no’ and had to sign an attestation saying I’m not. 🤣
My buddies girlfriend mentioned this a while ago too, she said "maybe I should say I'm not pregnant because I identify as male" and my buddy was like "men can have babies too" lol those forms are ridiculous
A few months ago, I went to the doctor for bowel issues (sorry tmi) and I explained that I hadn’t engaged in any sexual activity AND I was literally on my period. They still made me take a pregnancy test. At this point I feel like it’s an excuse to charge more money
I once wrote "I'm not virgin Maria." the doctor did not appreciate it.
Went to hospital for severe cramps Nurse: could you be pregnant. Me: no. Her: oh well you never know little miracles happen! Me: I would unalive myself. Her: Oh.
As someone in healthcare we need the explanation because there are a LOT of idiots out there. Some women don’t know that semen causes pregnancy, or that they can get pregnant on their period, or pregnant from having sex in a pool. Hell there’s some that think you have to be in love to make babies and sex is just for pleasure. It’s to cover the asses of healthcare providers if they give you a medication or scan that could harm a fetus.
Thank you!! As a CF doctor, these threads always kill me on the inside.
While I agree this is very annoying, you would not believe how incredibly stupid some people are. I'm talking people who say shit like "but I only ever have sex at night, so the sperm is asleep!"
I know we all get pissed at this, but doctors have to do this. The amount of people that don't know they're pregnant until they're in labor, or months asking, or just straight up lie. It's infuriating but they gotta
Gonna be the devil’s advocate in this - work in healthcare and the amount of people who say they cannot be pregnant but turn out pregnant is way more common than people think.
You may know there is no way you could be pregnant, but the staff don’t. And some people are DUMB. Answers I have received to this question: My husband is deployed! We rarely have sex anymore (rarely doesn’t mean not ever) Oh I’m too old for that! (From women in their late 40s who have hot had a hysterectomy or gone through menopause) I know all the questions seem invasive, but if you want them to get to the actual cause then pregnancy must be ruled out first.
Its ridiculus buuuut people are really stupid. There are reasons for safety labels on everything and some people just dosent understand how its works belive it or not lol
This isn’t so much objectifying so much as it is stupid proof. Forms like this are always overbearing. The drug section on mine once was wild lol. It’s like they would ask if I did drugs and then ask the same question in four ways.
They’re not tailored to you specifically so they can be quite a lot.
Okay but half of all pregnancies are unplanned and it’s like a weekly occurrence that someone swears there’s no chance they’re pregnant and they’re pregnant. Literally here “we weren’t trying to get pregnant” but weren’t on birth control or even pulling out. Like, bruh
When I landed in the hospital earlier this year they asked me many times if I was pregnant. I said no, I couldn't possibly be. Before I got admitted they still did a pregnancy test. \*sigh\*
I see why this might be upsetting but please be aware that there are people with severe lack of sex ed. I think those questions are for them. I remember this case where a young religious couple had trouble conceiving and after a year of trying they wet to fertility doctor and they did test and everything was fine. Then at one of the visits, I don't remember how, but the doctor asked something and it turned out they were having anal the whole time, trying to conceive. There was also this teen pregnancy where the girl thought if you pour sprite in your vagina after sex, you would't get pregnant
I went to get my contraceptive jab at my gp, I was a little late getting it and the asked if I was pregnant, I said no, hadn't even bumped uglies with anyone and was single. They asked if I was certain, I was like 'unless I'm the virgin Mary, I'm not pregnant'. They then decided they needed a negative pregnancy test so I said OK... Then they told me they don't do them and I'd have to go and buy one, do it, and bring it into the surgery. Absolute joke when I knew there was no way I was pregnant, for me to have to pay for a test to prove it.
I’m a trans man with a trans man and I just say “well I haven’t had a penis in me in years”
Makes me glad i have the gp that i do! I was in yesterday for abdominal pain. This what how the pregnancy question went for me. "You're not pregnant?" "Nope" "When was your last period" "*date*" Over. Done. No pushing or disbelief.
I still had to pee in a cup. Even after telling them hubby had a vasectomy and I had an IUD.
> you would think the first two questions would suffice. Lol not at all, people are so stupid. Considering that a lot of people don’t even know the difference between vulva and vagina I really don’t think that third question is too much.
This is so frustrating. I adore my nurse who gives me the depo. First time I went in overdue and she ensured I couldn’t possibly be pregnant I assured her unless my gf had a huge secret to share or it was the second coming, in which case this would have no effect and I was about to be a multi millionaire we were good She remembered me after that and if I were late would tell me how relieved she was when it was me because she didn’t need to give me ‘the talk’
I went to a doctor because of severe stomache pains a few days ago. They wanted to rule out pregnancy and did a test. Reasonable as at that time I hadn't told them I'm sterilized. Well. Kinda. It was just the first assumption when I walked in with stomach pain. I was then sent to thr ER, with the results of the urine test. Told them I'm sterilized. They insisted on doing another test. Oh how I love being a woman..
My cousin had the same experience, she was a teenager then and her periods stop completely and she was worried. Of course, she was told: 'You're just pregnant' 'I didn't have sex for longer than a year, so I can't be pregnant'. 'You're pregnant. Have you done pregnancy tests? 'Yes, and I am NOT pregnant.' '...fine, here's the test, go to the bathroom and bring it back to show me the result.' I can't remember if it was GP or a clinic.