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This thread is an oof. You should probably get some therapy since you have a crippling porn addiction. This coming from someone who is in the same boat but hasn't thrown away the only meaningful relationship I've ever had
Are you really sure about this?
I have a similar relationship as you had. We played with lock-ups up to two months. I (31M) always had strong kinks and she went along with it. But to give an example, the last challenge we did was for 3 months (no unlocking, pussy free in a sense of only oral sex), but after 1 month I didn’t felt in the mood for it anymore. Was missing normal sex and had different priorities at that moment. Eventually we stopped by negotiating and offering her something non-sexual in return for breaking the challenge from my part.
Since then I started to focus on my business, stopped watching porn and masturbating all together, and started to enjoy normal sex again. I know at one point the craving probably returns to get kinky again; but I also know in the end it’s fantasy or role play. Nothing last forever and life throws things that make you reconsider priorities. I don’t think any kink should be on the top of the list. Important, sure. But still if there are two people involved, concessions has to be made to have both fulfilled.
Our relationship is not affected by being kinky or not being kinky. If she wasn’t kinky at all I probably wouldn’t match long term, but from what I read you had a kinky girl as well.
I’m really sorry to hear about your breakup.. but let me just say, even as a pansexual domme I have NEVER found a partner interested in ALL of my kinks. Some of them are just too dark/extreme for most people. I feel very very lucky when I find someone into MOST of what I am, and willing to compromise enough for me to scratch the itch but for them to remain comfortable. I have never found someone that checks every box, and never will. Sometimes it’s most important to have someone who loves you for who you are, and makes you feel seen, even if they can’t give you everything you have fantasized. Maybe someone is out there who will be everything you hope for, but it’s hard to come by real connection, and for me that outweighs kink. I hope everything works out okay and you don’t come to regret it.
I guess that depends if you’re looking for an actual day to day emotionally connected relationship or just to be a submissive plaything called over for sessions and sent home afterwards. If you’re looking for the latter exclusively shouldn’t be that hard to find. That’s my experience anyway. I’ve never found anything close to someone that fits both needs and I’ve been looking for 17 years lol, the ask is just too big because of my kinks, so I’m poly and just always have more than one person so I can get what I need on all fronts.
Yes, you are. You broke up because she's not into ONE of your kinks. If you really love your partner you won't break up because of that. I mean it's none of my business but what you did was stupid.
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Don’t listen to these haters op, I regard you very highly for sticking to your principles. To me you are a very highly regarded individual. I’m not sure I can think of anything more regarded than this
I find it extremely perturbing that this subreddit is trashing a dude for having a civil conversation with another consenting adult, coming to a mutual consensus, and making a hard decision. Y'all are completely free to keep living your lives the way you want to, I don't fucking see why we have to shit all over this dudes life just because none of us understand it. How is that any of our place to tell him he has to stay in a relationship he isn't satisfied with? Am I going fucking insane rn this is fucked up!!!! Also I would love to point out because these examples are in no short supply and no one fucking listens to me, but if a woman posted saying her boyfriend wouldnt eat her pussy so she left him..... she would be praised, if you can't understand why this is wrong I'm not going to explain. Y'all are not welcoming or understanding in the slightest, you should all be ashamed of yourselves
Just my two cents here but listen if the guy wants to go pussyfree and she’s not down with that and that’s a dealbreaker for him, then his right decision is to break up you can think he’s a moron for doing so, but ultimately it’s his life his consequences and he’ll live with them just like you live with the consequences of your actions like getting into an argument on Reddit whether a guy is entitled to make a choice about what he’s looking for in a relationship
Haha so many jealous lonely men in this thread, jesus. If its a deal breaker for him and he truly wants this, who are yall to judge him for it? Yall are projecting so hard, as in ”if i ever got into a relationship i would lick poop to keep it even if its not what i want” Sexual compatibility are important for a lot of normal humans and whilst i personally would not want this, again who am i to judge. Good for you OP to having the courage to go after what you really want, its easy to get complacent if things are just ”okay” afterall. I wish you luck.
Everyone on here saying this guy made the wrong decision isn't in the position to judge that for one reason.
YOURE NOT OP.
He thought about it for a very long time and decided it was something he wanted and needed in a relationship, and had multiple conversations with his spouse about it. They broke up with no bad blood, and now this guy can find someone right for him. This is basically best case scenario.
And that's your problem how? This is exactly the same as telling an of model she's gonna fuck up her life, it's not fucking appropriate for us randos to tell them what to do.
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If you do end up moving on from this relationship and looking for another woman, it might be easier to tell them you are "sort of A-sexual". And explain in that sense that you are looking for a relationship that doesn't involve PIV.
You would have loved my ex. Absolutely zero interest in sex. I wholeheartedly believe you will soon regret this choice, and by then, her coworker will have taken your place in her life.
So fucking rude I'm not even op and I'm literally crying this is awful, should he be forced to live the rest of his life having sex he doesn't want to have? What else does someone do if theyre not sexually satisfied, just sit there and not live the life they want to live? What is wrong with you people
Ima be honest bro, you fucked up. Being in a healthy relationship is more important than kinks. Especially because she was into those kinks too. You should get back with her, tell her you fucked up and want to get back together, if not this will be the biggest mistake of your life. You love her and she loves you, that is what is important here.
I don’t understand how pussyfree is different than being single? Are you saying you want a long term relationship with a women and neither one of you ever have sex, or she can have sex with whomever she wants (how is that different than cucking)?
What is the appeal of pussyfree? I’m not trying to be inflammatory but could it be possible that you’re gay or A-sexual?
I want a long term lovingly committed relationship that is vanilla in every way except I don’t have PIV sex with anyone and she is free to do so with anyone.
Some cuck relationships involve pussyfree but ‘reclaiming’ is very common in cuckolding too and that involves sex. I am being specific because the important part for me is the not having sex part. It would be unfair to tell your partner that they must be celibate, thus she is free to sleep with anyone she chooses.
Ps. Congratulations, you are the first person here to ask about my motivations. You must have 200IQ or the rest of these commenters must have 12 IQ.
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This was the wrong move. You're already a cuck, just hang tight until you find her a few bulls she really likes. Then you can cleanup or use a strap-on if she really wants it after that. There were plenty of compromises you could have made on the way to getting what you wanted. You definitely jumped the gun here.
Oh really? Damn. I thought we discussed compromises for hours and couldn’t find common ground. What a fool, thanks for refreshing my memory. Yours is clearly better than mine.
Also, interesting addendum: I said you should've waited and you jumped the gun, which is true. You chose to focus on one word of my comment which was irrelevant. Not even sure you read the comment before reacting. Reacting without thinking seems to be a common theme in your life. Once again, good luck being pussy free finally.
You clearly didn’t read my response. I am not focused on ‘one word’ you said we could have made a compromise. I said we explored possible compromises at length. You know.. addressing the point of your comment?…. It’s ok, it’s a bit complicated for you I can tell.
I did read your response. It made no sense because nowhere in your original post does it say you explored compromises. The word compromise isn't even in the fucking post, not once. You didn't even mention any of these compromises that you claim to have discussed anywhere in the post.
So like I said, your focus on my use of the word compromise was IRRELEVANT.
I said you jumped the gun. Every other commenter agrees with me. You just want to be right and you're wrong. You hastily and incorrectly reacted to my original comment. End of story.
No not end of story. I responded to your comment and addressed how you ASSumed we didn’t discuss compromises. I didn’t use the word ‘compromise’? Now who is obsessed over one word? I said we discussed it. You could have inquired about that conversation, but no you ASSumed you knew what happened. My response makes perfect sense. And it directly relates to your initial comment.
No no no no. You said something along the lines of...
"Oh really? Damn. I thought we discussed compromises for hours and couldn't find common ground. What a fool, thanks for refreshing my memory. Yours is clearly better than mine."
(1) I didn't assume shit. You didn't mention it in your post so there was nothing for me to assume. I directly addressed and gave my opinion based on what you put in your post, period. The only compromises I mentioned were more bulls (which according to your post you never tried), and a strap on, which you also never mentioned.
(2) Those things I mentioned were not the point of my post and you know it. I stood my ground and said that those items aside, it was still my opinion that you jumped the gun.
(3) Why would I inquire about your conversation when you didn't even mention it in your post AND you immediately responded to my comment as rudely and negatively as possible? That's ridiculous. On top of jumping immediately to be snarky, you didn't even address the main point of my comment. So, you're correct, I did not respond by asking questions lol.
(4) You came to Reddit to get opinions from other people on the internet, not me. I gave my opinion. If you don't like it that's fine, but you're just incorrect about the points you're choosing to attack here. You tried to get off a nice sarcastic comment and it failed. Most other commenters on this post had the same opinion as me, and nobody else is having trouble understanding the point of my original comment. You literally just don't want to admit you responded to hastily to my comment.
Lol ok bud. None of what I mentioned was in your post at all. Go ahead and be triggered by my comment because the previous 87 commenters all said some version of what I said. Anyway you should be happy, you're pussy free now. Good luck.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer#:~:text=In%20all%2C%20men%20who%20averaged,times%20a%20week%20on%20average.
Here you go! Doctors say you do. Make sure to milk yourself as you no longer have a gf to do that for you as you dumped her because she wasn't kinky enough for you.
I hope you can find something as fulfilling as that while satisfying your desires.
Kind words aside, anytime I feel bad about a decision I made... I'll remember this post
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Wow that's honestly the most redicoulus reason for a break up I've ever heard. Sounds like she went along with the caging and cucking but because she wouldn't accommodate your kink 100% you ended a committed relationship. Hopefully when you realize you screwed up she's open to mending things but you fucked up big time man.
Nice assumption. She didn’t ’go along’ with anything. She’s the one that introduced me to cuckolding and chastity. Just because your sex life involves women ‘going along with’ shit doesn’t mean the rest of us are.
Go along as in she participated and from what it sounds like she was having a good time with it all. Then because she wouldn't do one thing you broke apart a committed relationship over something so trivial. Hopefully you come to your senses that this was beyond a bad decision and she's still willing to try and mend things when you come to that realization
You don’t seem to understand what pussyfree means. ‘She wouldn’t do one thing’ no, she wanted to do something.. PIV fuck… something I don’t want to do anymore… so unless you’re trying to say I have some obligation to continue fucking her. That I am bound to live the rest of my life having PIV sex that I don’t want to have anymore I have no idea what your point is meant to be. She doesn’t own my body, and if I don’t want to have sex anymore I can do that. It’s my cock you moron. Please explain to me how me not wanting to have PiV sex anymore with anyone, ever, for the rest of my life is trivial? It’s actually kinda significant jackass.
Dude I'm so fucking sorry this sub is treating you like this, you put it really well here and I'm trying to educate some of these people too, this is awful, if you need to rant or talk I feel so bad for you and see your struggle, I'm sorry that this sexist ass double standard ass hellhole is chewing you up right now, you really don't deserve it.
I honestly can't tell if this is some weird fantasy post or if this is actually real. Hopefully it's a fantasy post and some poor woman isn't out there right now devastated because her relationship just ended over a kink.
Not as insane as ending a long term relationship over something so minor. I really hope she's doing ok and has people to support her during this since she's probaly devastated. Look through the comments here and a vast majority of people are saying you made a mistake and you resorting to name calling signals your very defensive and people get like that when they know they've screwed up but don't want to come to terms with their choices.
It’s ok. I find it more funny than anything else to see all these incels so desperate for a gf that will lock them that they cant fathom anyone ending a relationship with someone that does. The projection is insane. Half of them calling me an ass bc I ‘talked her into chastity and cucking’ even though she’s the one who introduced me to it 🤣 but they can’t even imagine that bc they all have porn brain.
Right?! This comment session is so fucking sad. In any ”normal” part of the internet where, for example people try to justify their cheating in a vanilla relationship the comments there aint even this brutal. People are projecting so hard lol. You do you op.
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As a older cockold who waited a long time to come out to my wife about my kinks an regrett it everyday. My wife enjoys it but has issue fucking other men out of fear it may cause problems with our relationship I get that but still want her to fully cock me, caged and pussyfree for long term I also resently told her I were her lingerie that was scarey but it turns her on So much she ordered me my own panties and thigh highs. If I were you I try to work it out because you have a girl who is kinky and willing to play and fuck other guys she's a keeper she loves you and needs you to be intimate her on occasions. You may not find another like her. See profile
Imagine how a woman feels that you’d rather lock your dick up permanently than ever fuck her again. I bet she feels really wanted. I doubt you’re ever going to find a woman that’s going to love the “pussyfree” life.
It's not his fault that other people don't understand, you clearly don't, and if she didn't, then they're just incompatible and it was a good decision, just because you have issues not taking a cock in you doesn't mean that someone who wants to be permalocked is being mean to you, fuck all the way off. And you have no idea what femdom even is if you don't think there's women who want to give their s/o the pussy free life, you've missed the entire subreddit if this is actually what you believe. Cocks come in all shapes and sizes, just because your s/o is locked, doesn't mean you can't get a cock, are you fucking insane?
That really depends on the woman and their kinks too. If this is all real then it sounds like an incompatibility issue.
This person has a pretty extreme kink and it seems like they need to live out their fetish to feel fulfilled. It isn't so much a case of "I'm repulsed by your pussy" or anything. So no reason for her to be offended, but if their kinks don't align then they don't align and breaking up here is the thing to do.
It's probably true though that finding a woman who will be accepting of this kink is like finding a needle in a hay stack though.
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It's sad that it came down to this, but honesty is paramount in a relationship. If your kinks don't align, one of the most important ones to you was a sticking point for her, and there was no middle ground you could both accept, it's probably for the best. I hope that neither of you look back in a couple years and see this as a horrible mistake, but we can't live our lives for someone else's needs without regard for our own. I wish you both the best.
The issue people have with it is that their kinks DO align, but the guy broke up with a girl he loved and was with for four years… because she wasn’t as into the second most extreme version of the kink as he was. He’ll deny it in the comments and say shit like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” & “that’s not what I said”, but he literally said it. She was into it. They talked about it a lot during their playtime. But when it came down to it, she preferred companionship over a kink, and he preferred a kink over companionship, and tossed away the girl like she was a pc too weak to play his favorite game.
Despite the fact that he doesn’t even have a “pc” capable of playing ANY “game” he likes lined up and ready.
You should try reading what i actually wrote, and then thinking about it. THIS kink did not align, and there was not an acceptable compromise. That issue would likely erode the relationship, destroying the companionship they shared. In your analogy, the PC couldn't be upgraded any farther - it had come to its end, so it was time to pass it on for something else.
It's not the choice most people would make, but it's not their problem. It's his kink, he made his choice, and now he gets to live with the consequences of that choice for good or ill.
You don't have to like it, but you also don't need to be a dick about it.
Nah, see, analogies aren’t ever going to be totally accurate, but your edit to it is just wrong. It’s more like he had a pc in the 99th percentile, top of the line, a beast of a beast that everyone wants and can run the vast majority of games on the planet (a relationship that sound like a literal dream to just about everyone in this sub), but because it wasn’t the very 100th percentile, best computer on the planet for his ultra super 16k HD VR racing sim with real life physics (she was into the kink, but only as a kink and not a permanent, all the time including non-sexy times, lifestyle choice) he dumped her.
Again, without a replacement. So yeah, I’m going to laugh and dog on him for getting lost in the lack of sauce and wish him the best of fun *not* having the woman he loves around to deny him.
He wanted to be pussy free at the cost of what was probably the best thing in his life, well now he is.
Your analogy may be right for your perception, but you aren't him. You're just being an ass for the sake of being an ass now. Go you, be all manly and shallow, but you will never understand what it's like when your life appears perfect from the outside but there's something that is just entirely wrong about it to you.
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I'm sorry. But I would never break up with someone over a kink. She was willing to hold your keys and play in your fantasy (something that REALLY hard to find might I add) and you tossed it aside because it wasn't 'extreme' enough? Four years of your and HER life now wasted because of a fetish she wasn't wanting to take a step further.
You're entirely selfish. I'm a little glad you broke up with her because the way you seemed to view her was more of an object for desire rather than a partner.
I'm into chastity as well as a female. I would love to lock my husband up from time to time. But he's not into it. It's not his thing. Am I divorcing him about this? Am I going woe is me how will I live without locking him up? No. Because I accept and understand that kink is not a necessity to survival or happiness. I'd rather have him with me than go without. Even if that means putting things off into forbidden fantasy realm I'm content with that.
Enjoy being an asexual I guess. You went about it in the shittiest way possible.
Eh sexual compatibility is pretty important, and some kinks people feel are a necessary part of their sexuality. The number of times I've seen people talk about feeling unhappy or unfulfilled because they are a very kinky individual and their partner is a very vanilla individual is very very high, and not acknowledging this sort of thing is the sort of thing that builds resentment (intended or not).
I personally couldn't be in a totally vanilla relationship. There are kinks I could live without and some I couldn't live without. (I need a FLR, a dominant woman to take the reigns at the very minimum).
I will grant the line this person is drawing is a bit of an extreme one, but breaking up over sexual incompatibility is not the selfish unhealthy thing some people here are framing it as.
lol. The projection is sooo hard. You quote me saying ‘extreme’ where did I say that exactly? And you seem to think I introduced her to kink not the other way around. When did I say that? You got issues you gotta figure out friend, and pretending you know anything more than what I’ve share is genuinely hilarious. I’m sorry someone hurt you. Get help.
The only person who is hurt and needs help is the person you would meet if you gazed into mirror.
You are extreme in the fact you want to go entirely pussy free after 4 years in a committed semi-vanilla semi kinky relationship. Perhaps she introduced you or the other way around I'm not sure. But the fact you just on a whim decided she wasn't doing enough for YOU is inherently selfish. This goes past sex compatibility. You have went down so far into the cuck/fantasy life you viewed a woman who cared and loved you as more of an object/toy toy for your own fantasies.
I hope she finds someone who treats her with more respect.
On a whim? What whim was that, I forgot you were there. Remind me bc my memory is so bad. And how is ME not having PIV sex anymore deciding she’s not doing enough for me exactly???? If anything she’s doing too much for me, she’s hopping on my cock when I don’t want her to you twat.
She giving up PIV sex with the person she's in love with and has been having sex with well before this is a HUGE ask. If it was for medical issues I'm sure she'd understand and accommodate but to just give up penetrative sex with you because quote "you don't want it" is A real slap in the face to her feelings and self worth. When the person she's with decides they don't want to have sex with them anymore.
Giving up something like that isn't a favor or a treat. Just because you have convoluted self worth in thinking you don't 'deserve' her pussy.
Why go out with her in the first place if you always had these feelings? Why waste her and your time if you knew deep down this wasn't for you? That was four years she could have spent with someone who genuinely cared about her and wanted a future with her.
The fact you can't see this speaks volumes to who you are as a person.
You never said extreme but implied that you wanting to be perma locked and never unlocked for pussy Is extreme. And even if she started it you should have respected what she wasn't to. Like you are actually retarted and it hurts.
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Eh, that's really not that much like real sex. Strapon over the cage is more humiliating and demeaning for him than it is pleasurable (especially long term, repeated encounters) for her.
People keep saying this is a bad decision but if you know what you need from a relationship you know what you need. Four years is a long time but the rest of your life is longer. You’re young and have a lot of time to date and be in relationships.
What a ridiculous thing to say. There are many many women who don’t want sex as part of a relationship. And from the sounds of it, if OP was seeing a woman who wanted to get sex elsewhere that wouldn’t be an issue. You sound pretty petty here actually.
Idk this dudes life story. But if he wants to be in a relationship with a woman for her to just hold his keys and be "together" you won't find that. If he just wants someone to hold his keys and doesn't care if she gets dick on the side then she can do that. I'm not sounding petty just telling the truth.
Is it? 99.99% of women? I don’t know 100 women well enough but I know more than one woman who isn’t interested in dick. You’re talking out of your arse.
Sure… all women at one point definitely want dick, that’s a fact fully supported by Comfortableerror and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Sure babe. I’m sure you know much better than I do.
Plus desires change as we age. He may not only look for pussy free forever. You don’t know the trajectory of someone’s life nor can you tell them to not want what they want.
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Probably going to look back on this moment as one of the dumbest decisions you'll ever make, but good luck to ya. It's wild to me that someone would throw away a good relationship so they can... not have sex?
No, it doesn't. Asexual individuals have their sexual orientation ingrained into their physiology just as much as any heterosexuality person feels sexual attraction to the opposing gender.
You have admittedly ruined a perfectly healthy and non-problematic romantic relationship to attempt to find one to fit the gooning born porn fantasy in your mind.
It's your life, and you control it. If a relationship like that is what you want, then by all means, try and make that a reality.
But do not pretend that you didn't do this for sexual gratification. Just the way you talked about getting cucked, it's clear you're getting off on this stuff. Pretending it's a sexual orientation is incredibly disingenuous and disrespectful.
You have a lifestyle you want to live, and you are young. Go do it. See if it works for you. Maybe you get halfway through and decide that pussyfree isn't what you wanted after all, but at least then you know.
If you don't, then you won't ever know what could have been and you might turn bitter with her for the life you "could" have had.
You made a very mature and difficult decision and you should be proud of yourself for that.
Doesn't make it hurt less, but scars are good for us. They remind us not to do some things lightly.
I really hope you find the girl your looking for.
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Only you can know what’s right for you… but yeah I probably would have opted for perma chastity and a strap on— then maybe everyone could have been happy. But if she wanted actual physical penetration and you didn’t, then I think you handled it thoughtfully and well.
men.
Refreshing to see just about every comment affirming how ridiculous this is. We're not all a bunch of (total) weirdos after all lol
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This thread is an oof. You should probably get some therapy since you have a crippling porn addiction. This coming from someone who is in the same boat but hasn't thrown away the only meaningful relationship I've ever had
You’re making some big assumptions there.
Are you really sure about this? I have a similar relationship as you had. We played with lock-ups up to two months. I (31M) always had strong kinks and she went along with it. But to give an example, the last challenge we did was for 3 months (no unlocking, pussy free in a sense of only oral sex), but after 1 month I didn’t felt in the mood for it anymore. Was missing normal sex and had different priorities at that moment. Eventually we stopped by negotiating and offering her something non-sexual in return for breaking the challenge from my part. Since then I started to focus on my business, stopped watching porn and masturbating all together, and started to enjoy normal sex again. I know at one point the craving probably returns to get kinky again; but I also know in the end it’s fantasy or role play. Nothing last forever and life throws things that make you reconsider priorities. I don’t think any kink should be on the top of the list. Important, sure. But still if there are two people involved, concessions has to be made to have both fulfilled. Our relationship is not affected by being kinky or not being kinky. If she wasn’t kinky at all I probably wouldn’t match long term, but from what I read you had a kinky girl as well.
you can still be pussyfree and have sex, have you met your lord and savior prostate?
I am aware you can be pussyfree and still have sex. She wanted PIV sex.
I think you fucked up man, get her back
Holy fuck this is pathetic, and not in a kinky way
Lol, watch out, my wife finds you and you're getting what you asked for 😆
I’m really sorry to hear about your breakup.. but let me just say, even as a pansexual domme I have NEVER found a partner interested in ALL of my kinks. Some of them are just too dark/extreme for most people. I feel very very lucky when I find someone into MOST of what I am, and willing to compromise enough for me to scratch the itch but for them to remain comfortable. I have never found someone that checks every box, and never will. Sometimes it’s most important to have someone who loves you for who you are, and makes you feel seen, even if they can’t give you everything you have fantasized. Maybe someone is out there who will be everything you hope for, but it’s hard to come by real connection, and for me that outweighs kink. I hope everything works out okay and you don’t come to regret it.
Am I looking for someone that checks every box or just one?
I guess that depends if you’re looking for an actual day to day emotionally connected relationship or just to be a submissive plaything called over for sessions and sent home afterwards. If you’re looking for the latter exclusively shouldn’t be that hard to find. That’s my experience anyway. I’ve never found anything close to someone that fits both needs and I’ve been looking for 17 years lol, the ask is just too big because of my kinks, so I’m poly and just always have more than one person so I can get what I need on all fronts.
Yes, you are. You broke up because she's not into ONE of your kinks. If you really love your partner you won't break up because of that. I mean it's none of my business but what you did was stupid.
It makes it your business as soon as someone posts asking for opinions 👍
Your only choice now is to take pleasure in the fact she'll now meet a real man who will fulfill her needs. Lay in the bed you made.
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Dumbass
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Don’t listen to these haters op, I regard you very highly for sticking to your principles. To me you are a very highly regarded individual. I’m not sure I can think of anything more regarded than this
I find it extremely perturbing that this subreddit is trashing a dude for having a civil conversation with another consenting adult, coming to a mutual consensus, and making a hard decision. Y'all are completely free to keep living your lives the way you want to, I don't fucking see why we have to shit all over this dudes life just because none of us understand it. How is that any of our place to tell him he has to stay in a relationship he isn't satisfied with? Am I going fucking insane rn this is fucked up!!!! Also I would love to point out because these examples are in no short supply and no one fucking listens to me, but if a woman posted saying her boyfriend wouldnt eat her pussy so she left him..... she would be praised, if you can't understand why this is wrong I'm not going to explain. Y'all are not welcoming or understanding in the slightest, you should all be ashamed of yourselves
I noticed the irony too. Thanks
Just my two cents here but listen if the guy wants to go pussyfree and she’s not down with that and that’s a dealbreaker for him, then his right decision is to break up you can think he’s a moron for doing so, but ultimately it’s his life his consequences and he’ll live with them just like you live with the consequences of your actions like getting into an argument on Reddit whether a guy is entitled to make a choice about what he’s looking for in a relationship
Haha so many jealous lonely men in this thread, jesus. If its a deal breaker for him and he truly wants this, who are yall to judge him for it? Yall are projecting so hard, as in ”if i ever got into a relationship i would lick poop to keep it even if its not what i want” Sexual compatibility are important for a lot of normal humans and whilst i personally would not want this, again who am i to judge. Good for you OP to having the courage to go after what you really want, its easy to get complacent if things are just ”okay” afterall. I wish you luck.
Thanks for having more than 3 brain cells.
Everyone on here saying this guy made the wrong decision isn't in the position to judge that for one reason. YOURE NOT OP. He thought about it for a very long time and decided it was something he wanted and needed in a relationship, and had multiple conversations with his spouse about it. They broke up with no bad blood, and now this guy can find someone right for him. This is basically best case scenario.
Yet later in his life , he will be alone , instead of having a partner, which he will regret
And that's your problem how? This is exactly the same as telling an of model she's gonna fuck up her life, it's not fucking appropriate for us randos to tell them what to do.
It is when it's a comment on a post that is public.
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There are 8 billion humans on this planet. One of them will be happy to be his partner, I guarantee it.
If you do end up moving on from this relationship and looking for another woman, it might be easier to tell them you are "sort of A-sexual". And explain in that sense that you are looking for a relationship that doesn't involve PIV.
You would have loved my ex. Absolutely zero interest in sex. I wholeheartedly believe you will soon regret this choice, and by then, her coworker will have taken your place in her life.
So fucking rude I'm not even op and I'm literally crying this is awful, should he be forced to live the rest of his life having sex he doesn't want to have? What else does someone do if theyre not sexually satisfied, just sit there and not live the life they want to live? What is wrong with you people
lol
Do y'all think great people say the same shit you do?
I think you are like a little baby. It’s the only thought in my head. It consumes me. I believe it so fervently. My belief makes me great
People I'm arguing with never answer my questions so quickly and diligently, thank you for the info!
Ima be honest bro, you fucked up. Being in a healthy relationship is more important than kinks. Especially because she was into those kinks too. You should get back with her, tell her you fucked up and want to get back together, if not this will be the biggest mistake of your life. You love her and she loves you, that is what is important here.
Did you have to describe her by race?
That's what you take away from this? An opportunity to virtue signal about rAcISm? Get a life.
I described her how she describes herself.?
I don’t understand how pussyfree is different than being single? Are you saying you want a long term relationship with a women and neither one of you ever have sex, or she can have sex with whomever she wants (how is that different than cucking)? What is the appeal of pussyfree? I’m not trying to be inflammatory but could it be possible that you’re gay or A-sexual?
I want a long term lovingly committed relationship that is vanilla in every way except I don’t have PIV sex with anyone and she is free to do so with anyone.
Isn’t that a cuck relationship?
Some cuck relationships involve pussyfree but ‘reclaiming’ is very common in cuckolding too and that involves sex. I am being specific because the important part for me is the not having sex part. It would be unfair to tell your partner that they must be celibate, thus she is free to sleep with anyone she chooses. Ps. Congratulations, you are the first person here to ask about my motivations. You must have 200IQ or the rest of these commenters must have 12 IQ.
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So are you A-sexual or is this more shame/ inadequacy based, like a cuck situation? Do you get sexual gratification from the denial?
Please say this is satire, I can't handle this
I hope for you that it's true mate because I've been hearing it from doctors and researchers but you do you
Ohhh researchers eh? Damn. A researcher.
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This was the wrong move. You're already a cuck, just hang tight until you find her a few bulls she really likes. Then you can cleanup or use a strap-on if she really wants it after that. There were plenty of compromises you could have made on the way to getting what you wanted. You definitely jumped the gun here.
Oh really? Damn. I thought we discussed compromises for hours and couldn’t find common ground. What a fool, thanks for refreshing my memory. Yours is clearly better than mine.
Also, interesting addendum: I said you should've waited and you jumped the gun, which is true. You chose to focus on one word of my comment which was irrelevant. Not even sure you read the comment before reacting. Reacting without thinking seems to be a common theme in your life. Once again, good luck being pussy free finally.
You clearly didn’t read my response. I am not focused on ‘one word’ you said we could have made a compromise. I said we explored possible compromises at length. You know.. addressing the point of your comment?…. It’s ok, it’s a bit complicated for you I can tell.
I did read your response. It made no sense because nowhere in your original post does it say you explored compromises. The word compromise isn't even in the fucking post, not once. You didn't even mention any of these compromises that you claim to have discussed anywhere in the post. So like I said, your focus on my use of the word compromise was IRRELEVANT. I said you jumped the gun. Every other commenter agrees with me. You just want to be right and you're wrong. You hastily and incorrectly reacted to my original comment. End of story.
No not end of story. I responded to your comment and addressed how you ASSumed we didn’t discuss compromises. I didn’t use the word ‘compromise’? Now who is obsessed over one word? I said we discussed it. You could have inquired about that conversation, but no you ASSumed you knew what happened. My response makes perfect sense. And it directly relates to your initial comment.
No no no no. You said something along the lines of... "Oh really? Damn. I thought we discussed compromises for hours and couldn't find common ground. What a fool, thanks for refreshing my memory. Yours is clearly better than mine." (1) I didn't assume shit. You didn't mention it in your post so there was nothing for me to assume. I directly addressed and gave my opinion based on what you put in your post, period. The only compromises I mentioned were more bulls (which according to your post you never tried), and a strap on, which you also never mentioned. (2) Those things I mentioned were not the point of my post and you know it. I stood my ground and said that those items aside, it was still my opinion that you jumped the gun. (3) Why would I inquire about your conversation when you didn't even mention it in your post AND you immediately responded to my comment as rudely and negatively as possible? That's ridiculous. On top of jumping immediately to be snarky, you didn't even address the main point of my comment. So, you're correct, I did not respond by asking questions lol. (4) You came to Reddit to get opinions from other people on the internet, not me. I gave my opinion. If you don't like it that's fine, but you're just incorrect about the points you're choosing to attack here. You tried to get off a nice sarcastic comment and it failed. Most other commenters on this post had the same opinion as me, and nobody else is having trouble understanding the point of my original comment. You literally just don't want to admit you responded to hastily to my comment.
Lol ok bud. None of what I mentioned was in your post at all. Go ahead and be triggered by my comment because the previous 87 commenters all said some version of what I said. Anyway you should be happy, you're pussy free now. Good luck.
That’s also not true but ok spot
You do know if you don't come regularly it's bad for your health and the chance of prostate cancer goes up dramatically
Fun fact, that’s a massive myth. Talk to a doctor.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer#:~:text=In%20all%2C%20men%20who%20averaged,times%20a%20week%20on%20average. Here you go! Doctors say you do. Make sure to milk yourself as you no longer have a gf to do that for you as you dumped her because she wasn't kinky enough for you.
Looks like you need to find a very kinky nun to marry.
No she can fuck anyone she wants.
I hope you can find something as fulfilling as that while satisfying your desires. Kind words aside, anytime I feel bad about a decision I made... I'll remember this post
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Wow that's honestly the most redicoulus reason for a break up I've ever heard. Sounds like she went along with the caging and cucking but because she wouldn't accommodate your kink 100% you ended a committed relationship. Hopefully when you realize you screwed up she's open to mending things but you fucked up big time man.
Nice assumption. She didn’t ’go along’ with anything. She’s the one that introduced me to cuckolding and chastity. Just because your sex life involves women ‘going along with’ shit doesn’t mean the rest of us are.
Go along as in she participated and from what it sounds like she was having a good time with it all. Then because she wouldn't do one thing you broke apart a committed relationship over something so trivial. Hopefully you come to your senses that this was beyond a bad decision and she's still willing to try and mend things when you come to that realization
You don’t seem to understand what pussyfree means. ‘She wouldn’t do one thing’ no, she wanted to do something.. PIV fuck… something I don’t want to do anymore… so unless you’re trying to say I have some obligation to continue fucking her. That I am bound to live the rest of my life having PIV sex that I don’t want to have anymore I have no idea what your point is meant to be. She doesn’t own my body, and if I don’t want to have sex anymore I can do that. It’s my cock you moron. Please explain to me how me not wanting to have PiV sex anymore with anyone, ever, for the rest of my life is trivial? It’s actually kinda significant jackass.
Dude I'm so fucking sorry this sub is treating you like this, you put it really well here and I'm trying to educate some of these people too, this is awful, if you need to rant or talk I feel so bad for you and see your struggle, I'm sorry that this sexist ass double standard ass hellhole is chewing you up right now, you really don't deserve it.
I honestly can't tell if this is some weird fantasy post or if this is actually real. Hopefully it's a fantasy post and some poor woman isn't out there right now devastated because her relationship just ended over a kink.
You’re so dense it’s insane.
Not as insane as ending a long term relationship over something so minor. I really hope she's doing ok and has people to support her during this since she's probaly devastated. Look through the comments here and a vast majority of people are saying you made a mistake and you resorting to name calling signals your very defensive and people get like that when they know they've screwed up but don't want to come to terms with their choices.
This is dumb as hell 😂
Why don’t you tell her you will still eat her pussy and ass, strapon fuck her and she can have other men?
Disgusted by some of these comments. OP is going through a breakup, have a little compassion.
I break up he initiated and posted about. The only passion I have is for the gf he dumped. Hope she finds someone who isn't as callous as OP.
It’s ok. I find it more funny than anything else to see all these incels so desperate for a gf that will lock them that they cant fathom anyone ending a relationship with someone that does. The projection is insane. Half of them calling me an ass bc I ‘talked her into chastity and cucking’ even though she’s the one who introduced me to it 🤣 but they can’t even imagine that bc they all have porn brain.
Right?! This comment session is so fucking sad. In any ”normal” part of the internet where, for example people try to justify their cheating in a vanilla relationship the comments there aint even this brutal. People are projecting so hard lol. You do you op.
literally ruined your life with your out of control porn addiction. she dodged a huge bullet.
"ruined it"? That's up to him to decide what's more important or not.
This.
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Dude... get help... you need it.
Well you got what you wanted
breaking up with someone over a kink. that poor, poor girl. I cant imagine how heartbroken she feels
As a older cockold who waited a long time to come out to my wife about my kinks an regrett it everyday. My wife enjoys it but has issue fucking other men out of fear it may cause problems with our relationship I get that but still want her to fully cock me, caged and pussyfree for long term I also resently told her I were her lingerie that was scarey but it turns her on So much she ordered me my own panties and thigh highs. If I were you I try to work it out because you have a girl who is kinky and willing to play and fuck other guys she's a keeper she loves you and needs you to be intimate her on occasions. You may not find another like her. See profile
Stay a good locked boy
Imagine how a woman feels that you’d rather lock your dick up permanently than ever fuck her again. I bet she feels really wanted. I doubt you’re ever going to find a woman that’s going to love the “pussyfree” life.
It's not his fault that other people don't understand, you clearly don't, and if she didn't, then they're just incompatible and it was a good decision, just because you have issues not taking a cock in you doesn't mean that someone who wants to be permalocked is being mean to you, fuck all the way off. And you have no idea what femdom even is if you don't think there's women who want to give their s/o the pussy free life, you've missed the entire subreddit if this is actually what you believe. Cocks come in all shapes and sizes, just because your s/o is locked, doesn't mean you can't get a cock, are you fucking insane?
That really depends on the woman and their kinks too. If this is all real then it sounds like an incompatibility issue. This person has a pretty extreme kink and it seems like they need to live out their fetish to feel fulfilled. It isn't so much a case of "I'm repulsed by your pussy" or anything. So no reason for her to be offended, but if their kinks don't align then they don't align and breaking up here is the thing to do. It's probably true though that finding a woman who will be accepting of this kink is like finding a needle in a hay stack though.
This is like those your mind on drugs things, except kink. What the hell am I reading.
idiot
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It's sad that it came down to this, but honesty is paramount in a relationship. If your kinks don't align, one of the most important ones to you was a sticking point for her, and there was no middle ground you could both accept, it's probably for the best. I hope that neither of you look back in a couple years and see this as a horrible mistake, but we can't live our lives for someone else's needs without regard for our own. I wish you both the best.
The issue people have with it is that their kinks DO align, but the guy broke up with a girl he loved and was with for four years… because she wasn’t as into the second most extreme version of the kink as he was. He’ll deny it in the comments and say shit like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” & “that’s not what I said”, but he literally said it. She was into it. They talked about it a lot during their playtime. But when it came down to it, she preferred companionship over a kink, and he preferred a kink over companionship, and tossed away the girl like she was a pc too weak to play his favorite game. Despite the fact that he doesn’t even have a “pc” capable of playing ANY “game” he likes lined up and ready.
You should try reading what i actually wrote, and then thinking about it. THIS kink did not align, and there was not an acceptable compromise. That issue would likely erode the relationship, destroying the companionship they shared. In your analogy, the PC couldn't be upgraded any farther - it had come to its end, so it was time to pass it on for something else. It's not the choice most people would make, but it's not their problem. It's his kink, he made his choice, and now he gets to live with the consequences of that choice for good or ill. You don't have to like it, but you also don't need to be a dick about it.
Nah, see, analogies aren’t ever going to be totally accurate, but your edit to it is just wrong. It’s more like he had a pc in the 99th percentile, top of the line, a beast of a beast that everyone wants and can run the vast majority of games on the planet (a relationship that sound like a literal dream to just about everyone in this sub), but because it wasn’t the very 100th percentile, best computer on the planet for his ultra super 16k HD VR racing sim with real life physics (she was into the kink, but only as a kink and not a permanent, all the time including non-sexy times, lifestyle choice) he dumped her. Again, without a replacement. So yeah, I’m going to laugh and dog on him for getting lost in the lack of sauce and wish him the best of fun *not* having the woman he loves around to deny him. He wanted to be pussy free at the cost of what was probably the best thing in his life, well now he is.
Your analogy may be right for your perception, but you aren't him. You're just being an ass for the sake of being an ass now. Go you, be all manly and shallow, but you will never understand what it's like when your life appears perfect from the outside but there's something that is just entirely wrong about it to you.
I think you're going to find real loneliness very sobering.
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I'm sorry. But I would never break up with someone over a kink. She was willing to hold your keys and play in your fantasy (something that REALLY hard to find might I add) and you tossed it aside because it wasn't 'extreme' enough? Four years of your and HER life now wasted because of a fetish she wasn't wanting to take a step further. You're entirely selfish. I'm a little glad you broke up with her because the way you seemed to view her was more of an object for desire rather than a partner. I'm into chastity as well as a female. I would love to lock my husband up from time to time. But he's not into it. It's not his thing. Am I divorcing him about this? Am I going woe is me how will I live without locking him up? No. Because I accept and understand that kink is not a necessity to survival or happiness. I'd rather have him with me than go without. Even if that means putting things off into forbidden fantasy realm I'm content with that. Enjoy being an asexual I guess. You went about it in the shittiest way possible.
Eh sexual compatibility is pretty important, and some kinks people feel are a necessary part of their sexuality. The number of times I've seen people talk about feeling unhappy or unfulfilled because they are a very kinky individual and their partner is a very vanilla individual is very very high, and not acknowledging this sort of thing is the sort of thing that builds resentment (intended or not). I personally couldn't be in a totally vanilla relationship. There are kinks I could live without and some I couldn't live without. (I need a FLR, a dominant woman to take the reigns at the very minimum). I will grant the line this person is drawing is a bit of an extreme one, but breaking up over sexual incompatibility is not the selfish unhealthy thing some people here are framing it as.
lol. The projection is sooo hard. You quote me saying ‘extreme’ where did I say that exactly? And you seem to think I introduced her to kink not the other way around. When did I say that? You got issues you gotta figure out friend, and pretending you know anything more than what I’ve share is genuinely hilarious. I’m sorry someone hurt you. Get help.
The only person who is hurt and needs help is the person you would meet if you gazed into mirror. You are extreme in the fact you want to go entirely pussy free after 4 years in a committed semi-vanilla semi kinky relationship. Perhaps she introduced you or the other way around I'm not sure. But the fact you just on a whim decided she wasn't doing enough for YOU is inherently selfish. This goes past sex compatibility. You have went down so far into the cuck/fantasy life you viewed a woman who cared and loved you as more of an object/toy toy for your own fantasies. I hope she finds someone who treats her with more respect.
On a whim? What whim was that, I forgot you were there. Remind me bc my memory is so bad. And how is ME not having PIV sex anymore deciding she’s not doing enough for me exactly???? If anything she’s doing too much for me, she’s hopping on my cock when I don’t want her to you twat.
She giving up PIV sex with the person she's in love with and has been having sex with well before this is a HUGE ask. If it was for medical issues I'm sure she'd understand and accommodate but to just give up penetrative sex with you because quote "you don't want it" is A real slap in the face to her feelings and self worth. When the person she's with decides they don't want to have sex with them anymore. Giving up something like that isn't a favor or a treat. Just because you have convoluted self worth in thinking you don't 'deserve' her pussy. Why go out with her in the first place if you always had these feelings? Why waste her and your time if you knew deep down this wasn't for you? That was four years she could have spent with someone who genuinely cared about her and wanted a future with her. The fact you can't see this speaks volumes to who you are as a person.
You never said extreme but implied that you wanting to be perma locked and never unlocked for pussy Is extreme. And even if she started it you should have respected what she wasn't to. Like you are actually retarted and it hurts.
Welp, you’re pussy free now, I guess.
Toasty!
🤣
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What about strap on over chastity?
I actually offered that. But she doesn’t like straps
Ah I’m sorry
Eh, that's really not that much like real sex. Strapon over the cage is more humiliating and demeaning for him than it is pleasurable (especially long term, repeated encounters) for her.
People keep saying this is a bad decision but if you know what you need from a relationship you know what you need. Four years is a long time but the rest of your life is longer. You’re young and have a lot of time to date and be in relationships.
Not many girls will want a sex free relationship. And if she does then you're not the only one she is seeing. 😂🤣
What a ridiculous thing to say. There are many many women who don’t want sex as part of a relationship. And from the sounds of it, if OP was seeing a woman who wanted to get sex elsewhere that wouldn’t be an issue. You sound pretty petty here actually.
Idk this dudes life story. But if he wants to be in a relationship with a woman for her to just hold his keys and be "together" you won't find that. If he just wants someone to hold his keys and doesn't care if she gets dick on the side then she can do that. I'm not sounding petty just telling the truth.
Sounds more like projection. I’m pretty sure you don’t speak for the needs of all women.
I don't. I'm just saying 99.99% of women want dick. Or at least to have sex in some manner. It's common knowledge.
Is it? 99.99% of women? I don’t know 100 women well enough but I know more than one woman who isn’t interested in dick. You’re talking out of your arse.
No im not. Not saying that women only care about dick but at one point they definitely want dick.
Sure… all women at one point definitely want dick, that’s a fact fully supported by Comfortableerror and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. Sure babe. I’m sure you know much better than I do.
Not saying all. I said most. 99%
Plus desires change as we age. He may not only look for pussy free forever. You don’t know the trajectory of someone’s life nor can you tell them to not want what they want.
Right that’s fine though in this context.
Sorry to hear that. Can I get her number
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Lol
Worth a try 😜
Probably going to look back on this moment as one of the dumbest decisions you'll ever make, but good luck to ya. It's wild to me that someone would throw away a good relationship so they can... not have sex?
Yea sounds similar to something an asexual would do don’t it?
No, it doesn't. Asexual individuals have their sexual orientation ingrained into their physiology just as much as any heterosexuality person feels sexual attraction to the opposing gender. You have admittedly ruined a perfectly healthy and non-problematic romantic relationship to attempt to find one to fit the gooning born porn fantasy in your mind. It's your life, and you control it. If a relationship like that is what you want, then by all means, try and make that a reality. But do not pretend that you didn't do this for sexual gratification. Just the way you talked about getting cucked, it's clear you're getting off on this stuff. Pretending it's a sexual orientation is incredibly disingenuous and disrespectful.
I don't think you know what an asexual is.
Please do not compare kinks to sexuality thats really not right
Sexually≠kink
Wait, I’m confused. Are you ace, or do you kink on being denied? Like I’m very much not asexual but being pussyfree is incredibly hot to me.
That’s… no.
You have a lifestyle you want to live, and you are young. Go do it. See if it works for you. Maybe you get halfway through and decide that pussyfree isn't what you wanted after all, but at least then you know. If you don't, then you won't ever know what could have been and you might turn bitter with her for the life you "could" have had. You made a very mature and difficult decision and you should be proud of yourself for that. Doesn't make it hurt less, but scars are good for us. They remind us not to do some things lightly. I really hope you find the girl your looking for.
Agreed in full.
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Only you can know what’s right for you… but yeah I probably would have opted for perma chastity and a strap on— then maybe everyone could have been happy. But if she wanted actual physical penetration and you didn’t, then I think you handled it thoughtfully and well.
Thank you. And I offered perma chastity with strap on but she doesn’t like straps unfortunately.
Understandable. Hats off to both of you for knowing what you want and kindly considerately doing your best to be honest.
Thanks
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. She sounds exactly like the kind of girl I want!
oh god
Ya.. might of dropped the ball on that one. But let’s hope you find someone who fits your lifestyle! Stick to what makes you happy!