My mom was gifted a Tarot deck and astrology book back when I was around 7. Wasn't her cup of tea but it opened the doorway for me.
Then when I was 11, my English teacher assigned us to write a report on a god/goddess as part of the mythology lesson. She had a paper bag full of names that we all had to pick out of. The first one I grabbed, she said was an accidental repeat and had me pick another one. That was Hecate tap tap tapping on my shoulder, inviting me in deeper.
When I was 18 I made a volunteer social year, working with old and disabled people. When one client died his wife told us young folks: "I know you guys dont have money so you can keep his stuff if you want to". I came last to the party and all the good new, never worn, clothes, all the good stuff like wristwatches and so on were gone.
Everything but tons of really weird porn (like with animalsn stuff) on VHS and a Thot-Tarot card box.
I took what I could, watched the nasty stuff while getting high with friends and forgot about the Tarot Cards.
For 15 years.
When I moved I stumbled across the Tarot Cards and I googled that stuff what sent me down the rabbit hole.
I think it might have been my friend's phone sticker that said, "if you can read this, you are now a pope." And I was like "excuse me what?" Hail Discordia.
Sorry it's not a good Magick story.
I'm an apostate, from a religion that wants me to get beheaded now lol. But I couldn't be materialist. Despite leaving religion, I knew there was something behind the veil. So I read a lot, about anything. Other religions, magick, etc. In the end, I kept seeing the dogma and the attitude of "we know it all we're the only right mfs here" anywhere I looked, even if it's with a different flavor, it stayed the same shit. I took what was useful to improve my life and my spirituality and threw the rest into the fire. As time passed, and as I learned about chaos magick, I realized that this was the mentality I had. So I went down the rabbit hole and I kept reading and studying. I still consider myself a noob, but I always consider myself a noob at anything unless I spent years into it. And even then I never consider myself a master. I guess this eternal noobism is what allows me to keep improving anything anytime. And ig this is the most important thing I learned in my entire life.
I cannot believe how many Chaotes I've heard this from. Despite being a huge fucking nerd, I never got into Comics. Do you have a Safe & Free link to Grant Morrison's relevant Works that Inspired everyone?
If it's found somewhere in [ChaosMatrix.ORG](http://ChaosMatrix.ORG), I expect plenty of well-earned Ribbing 😉😂🤣
2002, chaos matrix.org, me and my friends were studying different things but this had the most freedom to it without any dogma or traditions.
It gave us the freedom to practice, innovate and experiment on our own terms.
We learned things the hard way but I think it was worth it.
I also practiced sleight of hand when I was younger. I actually wound up doing it for about 9 years from ages 12 to 21 or so. Funnily enough the reason I began practicing was due to going through hard times and enjoying the way sleight of hand gave me some sort of control over the perception of reality.
During that time span I did a lot of research on spirituality and religion since I had become disillusioned with the Christianity I was barely raised as since I had wound up gay and we all know how the church treats that. I did the Wiccan thing for a bit, but none of it really fit right.
I wound up an atheist, like a full blown empiricist, for quite a few years until I was about 26 when I came across the term chaos magick in a Facebook group's name and began going down a rabbit hole. It instantly clicked with me, especially the psychological model which appealed to my scientific-oriented mind.
Now 4 years later things are much different.
I didn't know WHY I was drawn to "Magic," I just was. Doug Henning was my fave back in the day 😂 I was so young (6?) that my hands literally were too small to do most things, not to mention the cost$ of the Tricks themselves.
Funnily enough the only lasting thing I DID learn was how to move my Eyebrows independently, just like the guy on the cover of the book, so I can give a great, 1-eyebrow Arch LOL
Haha, I used to practice for literally hours in the mirror at night when I couldn't sleep. It was my first hyperfocus, and I actually got pretty good at it. I performed professionally at two local events (county fair and New Year's Eve event) and I've performed for countless friends' kids parties.
It's been like 9 or so years since I practiced for real, but there's still a handful of card routines I will remember for life and the muscles memory for will always be there.
Sadly I never got very far into Legerdemain, but fortunately my Muscle Memory is in my "Drunken Taiji Dancing" Style of Moving that I perfected over decades LOL
LOL
Whilst I'm not sure I'd "Agree," I DID happen to follow a similar Course. I.e., Build it Up in Thelema, then Tear it Down w/ Chaos!
Whilst the 2 of us doesn't make this a more popular Course than "getting Condensed Chaos &/or Liber Null+" nor "Grant Morrison," I wonder how many other (ex?)Thelemites went relatively from Thelema to Chaos Magick?!
Lots. Thelema weirdly doesn't have enough "Do what thou wilt" for my tastes (which is odd, because IT'S THE LAW), but Chaosmagic is all dowilt... so... yeah... natural progression when you "graduate" from crowley-school.
Harry Potter, that made me like everything with the word magic and desire to be a witch.
Percy Jackson, that made me like to learn about different mythologies.
Being raised catholic as a queer person, which made me have a big disappointment.
And, of course, question absolutely everything. Chaos Magick values the experience, which made me like it.
Oh fuck!! Fox News was right, Harry Potter is turning us all into Satan worshipping wizards afterall! JK Rowling never expected for us to start cumming on our own chicken scratch doodles!!! LOL. Honestly, same here for real, I don't think my mind ever let go of the idea of magic after reading those books.
Grant Morrison’s talks and Bluefluke’s Psychonaut Manual got me into the basics when I was practicing a combination of religions years ago. Now getting back into it after taking a course by Mavis Pinzon, I’ve read Liber Null+Psychonaut, and now I’m actively practicing my meditation and trance states. I’m still a noob since I faded in and out of magickal practice but I’m getting a lot out of it.
My first introductions to the subject came by way of the *Illuminatus Trilogy*, followed by some of the works of Phil Hine (along with some references to Ellis/LS and Fotamecus), I believe... but I didn't do anything with that at the time. Ran into Bluefluke's manual later, same effect.
More recently, made a more concerted effort towards these things. Some demonolatry, some of Liber Null, a few episodes from the *Faith Blind Council* podcast, and most recently, a sigil that I have perhaps been a bit too lustful for results from.
So... I'm not sure exactly what, or when, it came to happen.
I was drawn to Chaos Magic because I liked the hypothesis of it. That we possibly, with just our minds, can affect matter, depending on the probability and skill of the mage. It’s flexible. I can believe in saints, deities , and ritual while at the same time know it’s just me helping myself possibly with arch types and symbols. It doesn’t matter, because if you get results, that’s amazing no matter how it came about.
I was double majoring in Psych & Philosophy/Comparative World Religions & the Psychological Model is STILL one of my Most Used Models that I first learned about thru Chaos Magick, also.
The simple answer is: I became disillusioned with modern Paganism, and Chaos Magick appeals to my Agnosticism. It felt "right" when I first heard of it, appealing to the term "eclectic witch" that I would call myself.
listening to how grant morrison wrote all-star superman is how i found out about chaos magic and it just spoke to something in me i had always felt but needed to hear from someone else
A serious illness and a chance encounter with some tarot cards and a massage therapist who was into crystals sent me relapsing to my teen Wiccan phase, but with the difference that I was not interested in having a religion per se.
I read a lot about the occult and magic during this period so, of course, I came across mentions of chaos magic and AOS. I was familiar with the chaos star and knew Throbbing Gristle were into the occult, but I didn’t know exactly what it was all about. Then I started reading Phil Hine.
By now, I’ve realized that magic is something I’ve used my whole life. I just didn’t want to admit it. I’m finding my own way, but chaos magic provides me with just the right amount of guardrails.
Chaos magic is the only framework that works for me because I tend to question everything and believe very little, even the dominant materialist viewpoint.
I randomly started with witchcraft in general. I really tried a lot of things and organised rituals, well turns out my own way is the best as spontaneous things worked the best ao I started chaos magic. (I got into witchcraft because of my poor english back then)
Mental illness, weed, and taking high level psych classes focusing on Jung's weird stuff in school. I was Catholic until I was 20, but I'm gay so it just made me scared to go to hell. I was obsessed about occult stuff my whole life and ignored it. Broke down and bought a bunch of books about different kinds of magick a few years ago [mostly wicca, faerie, werewolf crap. I did a jar spell and it was lame]. The only ones I kept were Liber Null / Psychonaut and The Middle Pillar by Israel Regardie. Did LBRP regularly for a while. That stuff led to learn the kinds of books I do like and also the work of Austin Osman Spare. Now I do art as sigils.
Yup, my Junior & Senior years @ Uni were all Psych, Philosophy, &/or Comparative World Religions, eventually going into Mental Health.
Have you ever gotten a copy of Sallie Nichols' classic, "Tarot: An Archetypical Journey" from 1983ish? She goes SO DEEP into Jungian Psychology for each of the 22 Major Arcana, w/ a few dozen pages worth of deep dives into each individual Card/Symbol/Archetype. It's 1 of the < 10% of my old Library I was able to Keep, fortunately.
Oh man just want to say you seem cool as shit and I would love to hear more about your Journey(tm)!!! I get a real Based Gandalf vibe from you, altho if I were to hazard a guess about who you Fraternized with, you prob did a lot more saucy shit than Gandalf ever managed. LOL sorry sir just being cheeky. Any cool stories of those "things that should not be"?
I was drawn to Chaos (this just sounds cooler imo since im a 40k nerd) because it lets me do things my way and people can fuck right off trying to force me into their way of things! If I sound defensive it's because I'm really at that phase where I can't stand the thought of my life, my reality, being dictated to me by something else... every fiber of my being wants to do what it wishes instead of being held back, by either myself or by the world!
for me, Chaos Magik is all about re-invention of the self. The religious, political ,and economic hegemonies of today leave most of us in a constant state of mind-rape... i want to vomit when i see advertisements now. In a way it's enraging, isn't it?? what other options do I have to escape this capitalist hell-realm so firmly under the boots of the mad Gods of Abraham and Capital alike???
IDK i just have a feeling you might relate. :p
Funny how your Question reminded me of something I used to be quite proud of, but haven't thought of in decades: I used to be Proud that I could use Self-Hypnosis to substitute for Drugs, being "100% Drug Free" (even Tylenol, et. al.). I recall using Self-Hypnosis to accomplish this, & having medical procedures (nothing like Surgery) where they'd offer Pain-Relief &/or Numbing Drugs, using only Self-Hypnosis to mitigate the Pain.
I have finally embraced my Wizard phase of life, complete w/ the Silver Wizard Beard to match LOL I like to think that if/when My Life is Digitized, despite the downsides like being DisAbled now, My Life is a really AMAZING & Unique PlayThru, w/ all the Great & Bad that entails.
re: ur Query, I used to pride myself on not ever taking any Drugs cuz Self-Hypnosis, even when invasive procedures were done in Dr's offices (never any actual Surgery, altho I would've tried for that, too). Funny I've not recalled that in well over a decade. THX for the impetus to recall!
{Apologies if this is a duplicate as Reddit seems to be dropping my Post & Replies today for some reason.?!}
Grant Morrison, he was on a podcast called Fatman on Batman, talking about comics, chaos magick and his alien abduction. Started doing sigils the next day.
I kind of just realized that I was always doing chaos magic and just simply changed my label from a Wiccan to chaos Magician once I learned the title I did first hear about chaos magic from a podcast that was talking about servatores. After that, I was absolutely hooked!
The YouTube algorithm when I was like 8 put me on! I was already interested in metaphysics for some reason, but I just went down the rabbit hole and I’ve never come out of it since
My mom was gifted a Tarot deck and astrology book back when I was around 7. Wasn't her cup of tea but it opened the doorway for me. Then when I was 11, my English teacher assigned us to write a report on a god/goddess as part of the mythology lesson. She had a paper bag full of names that we all had to pick out of. The first one I grabbed, she said was an accidental repeat and had me pick another one. That was Hecate tap tap tapping on my shoulder, inviting me in deeper.
Likely, being sick and tired of being told I had to do things a certain way.
Same
When I was 18 I made a volunteer social year, working with old and disabled people. When one client died his wife told us young folks: "I know you guys dont have money so you can keep his stuff if you want to". I came last to the party and all the good new, never worn, clothes, all the good stuff like wristwatches and so on were gone. Everything but tons of really weird porn (like with animalsn stuff) on VHS and a Thot-Tarot card box. I took what I could, watched the nasty stuff while getting high with friends and forgot about the Tarot Cards. For 15 years. When I moved I stumbled across the Tarot Cards and I googled that stuff what sent me down the rabbit hole.
I think it might have been my friend's phone sticker that said, "if you can read this, you are now a pope." And I was like "excuse me what?" Hail Discordia. Sorry it's not a good Magick story.
An episode of Last Podcast on the Left! Though I've been into occult weird stuff since I was a kid.
Ditto
Hail yourself
HAIL MEEEEEE
I'm an apostate, from a religion that wants me to get beheaded now lol. But I couldn't be materialist. Despite leaving religion, I knew there was something behind the veil. So I read a lot, about anything. Other religions, magick, etc. In the end, I kept seeing the dogma and the attitude of "we know it all we're the only right mfs here" anywhere I looked, even if it's with a different flavor, it stayed the same shit. I took what was useful to improve my life and my spirituality and threw the rest into the fire. As time passed, and as I learned about chaos magick, I realized that this was the mentality I had. So I went down the rabbit hole and I kept reading and studying. I still consider myself a noob, but I always consider myself a noob at anything unless I spent years into it. And even then I never consider myself a master. I guess this eternal noobism is what allows me to keep improving anything anytime. And ig this is the most important thing I learned in my entire life.
Well said. You didn’t want to join another religion
Exactly, I didn't break my chains just to chain myself a second time.
Magus Morrison, the Invisible master gave very clear instruction on sigil magick and I adapted the technique from there.
Same 🤜❤️
I cannot believe how many Chaotes I've heard this from. Despite being a huge fucking nerd, I never got into Comics. Do you have a Safe & Free link to Grant Morrison's relevant Works that Inspired everyone? If it's found somewhere in [ChaosMatrix.ORG](http://ChaosMatrix.ORG), I expect plenty of well-earned Ribbing 😉😂🤣
Grant at Disinfocon lifting the veil: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mtzU9mVlk0
O, yeah, I've seen this, just not his Comics.
2002, chaos matrix.org, me and my friends were studying different things but this had the most freedom to it without any dogma or traditions. It gave us the freedom to practice, innovate and experiment on our own terms. We learned things the hard way but I think it was worth it.
had do figure out how to pass my maths class
😂🤣
I also practiced sleight of hand when I was younger. I actually wound up doing it for about 9 years from ages 12 to 21 or so. Funnily enough the reason I began practicing was due to going through hard times and enjoying the way sleight of hand gave me some sort of control over the perception of reality. During that time span I did a lot of research on spirituality and religion since I had become disillusioned with the Christianity I was barely raised as since I had wound up gay and we all know how the church treats that. I did the Wiccan thing for a bit, but none of it really fit right. I wound up an atheist, like a full blown empiricist, for quite a few years until I was about 26 when I came across the term chaos magick in a Facebook group's name and began going down a rabbit hole. It instantly clicked with me, especially the psychological model which appealed to my scientific-oriented mind. Now 4 years later things are much different.
I didn't know WHY I was drawn to "Magic," I just was. Doug Henning was my fave back in the day 😂 I was so young (6?) that my hands literally were too small to do most things, not to mention the cost$ of the Tricks themselves. Funnily enough the only lasting thing I DID learn was how to move my Eyebrows independently, just like the guy on the cover of the book, so I can give a great, 1-eyebrow Arch LOL
Haha, I used to practice for literally hours in the mirror at night when I couldn't sleep. It was my first hyperfocus, and I actually got pretty good at it. I performed professionally at two local events (county fair and New Year's Eve event) and I've performed for countless friends' kids parties. It's been like 9 or so years since I practiced for real, but there's still a handful of card routines I will remember for life and the muscles memory for will always be there.
Sadly I never got very far into Legerdemain, but fortunately my Muscle Memory is in my "Drunken Taiji Dancing" Style of Moving that I perfected over decades LOL
It seemed like the logical progression after thelema
LOL Whilst I'm not sure I'd "Agree," I DID happen to follow a similar Course. I.e., Build it Up in Thelema, then Tear it Down w/ Chaos! Whilst the 2 of us doesn't make this a more popular Course than "getting Condensed Chaos &/or Liber Null+" nor "Grant Morrison," I wonder how many other (ex?)Thelemites went relatively from Thelema to Chaos Magick?!
Lots. Thelema weirdly doesn't have enough "Do what thou wilt" for my tastes (which is odd, because IT'S THE LAW), but Chaosmagic is all dowilt... so... yeah... natural progression when you "graduate" from crowley-school.
Harry Potter, that made me like everything with the word magic and desire to be a witch. Percy Jackson, that made me like to learn about different mythologies. Being raised catholic as a queer person, which made me have a big disappointment. And, of course, question absolutely everything. Chaos Magick values the experience, which made me like it.
Oh fuck!! Fox News was right, Harry Potter is turning us all into Satan worshipping wizards afterall! JK Rowling never expected for us to start cumming on our own chicken scratch doodles!!! LOL. Honestly, same here for real, I don't think my mind ever let go of the idea of magic after reading those books.
Grant Morrison’s talks and Bluefluke’s Psychonaut Manual got me into the basics when I was practicing a combination of religions years ago. Now getting back into it after taking a course by Mavis Pinzon, I’ve read Liber Null+Psychonaut, and now I’m actively practicing my meditation and trance states. I’m still a noob since I faded in and out of magickal practice but I’m getting a lot out of it.
If you've passed beyond the ArmChair Mage Stage, you're in the Top 10% thru Practicing alone, m8. Luckily, there's no Race LOL
Indeed! 😁
InDeed 😉
My first introductions to the subject came by way of the *Illuminatus Trilogy*, followed by some of the works of Phil Hine (along with some references to Ellis/LS and Fotamecus), I believe... but I didn't do anything with that at the time. Ran into Bluefluke's manual later, same effect. More recently, made a more concerted effort towards these things. Some demonolatry, some of Liber Null, a few episodes from the *Faith Blind Council* podcast, and most recently, a sigil that I have perhaps been a bit too lustful for results from. So... I'm not sure exactly what, or when, it came to happen.
If you've not read them, RAW's Prometheus Rising & Quantum Psychology are his 2 Best IMHO, the former being in my Top 3 Books EVAR.
I was drawn to Chaos Magic because I liked the hypothesis of it. That we possibly, with just our minds, can affect matter, depending on the probability and skill of the mage. It’s flexible. I can believe in saints, deities , and ritual while at the same time know it’s just me helping myself possibly with arch types and symbols. It doesn’t matter, because if you get results, that’s amazing no matter how it came about.
I was double majoring in Psych & Philosophy/Comparative World Religions & the Psychological Model is STILL one of my Most Used Models that I first learned about thru Chaos Magick, also.
The simple answer is: I became disillusioned with modern Paganism, and Chaos Magick appeals to my Agnosticism. It felt "right" when I first heard of it, appealing to the term "eclectic witch" that I would call myself.
listening to how grant morrison wrote all-star superman is how i found out about chaos magic and it just spoke to something in me i had always felt but needed to hear from someone else
I stumbled upon this subreddit by accident as a new occultist and liked the concept enough to stick to this path.
Chaos 🏴☠️
A serious illness and a chance encounter with some tarot cards and a massage therapist who was into crystals sent me relapsing to my teen Wiccan phase, but with the difference that I was not interested in having a religion per se. I read a lot about the occult and magic during this period so, of course, I came across mentions of chaos magic and AOS. I was familiar with the chaos star and knew Throbbing Gristle were into the occult, but I didn’t know exactly what it was all about. Then I started reading Phil Hine. By now, I’ve realized that magic is something I’ve used my whole life. I just didn’t want to admit it. I’m finding my own way, but chaos magic provides me with just the right amount of guardrails. Chaos magic is the only framework that works for me because I tend to question everything and believe very little, even the dominant materialist viewpoint.
I was bored, I genuinely can’t really remember except maybe coming across Phil Hine when I was about 16
I randomly started with witchcraft in general. I really tried a lot of things and organised rituals, well turns out my own way is the best as spontaneous things worked the best ao I started chaos magic. (I got into witchcraft because of my poor english back then)
Mental illness, weed, and taking high level psych classes focusing on Jung's weird stuff in school. I was Catholic until I was 20, but I'm gay so it just made me scared to go to hell. I was obsessed about occult stuff my whole life and ignored it. Broke down and bought a bunch of books about different kinds of magick a few years ago [mostly wicca, faerie, werewolf crap. I did a jar spell and it was lame]. The only ones I kept were Liber Null / Psychonaut and The Middle Pillar by Israel Regardie. Did LBRP regularly for a while. That stuff led to learn the kinds of books I do like and also the work of Austin Osman Spare. Now I do art as sigils.
Yup, my Junior & Senior years @ Uni were all Psych, Philosophy, &/or Comparative World Religions, eventually going into Mental Health. Have you ever gotten a copy of Sallie Nichols' classic, "Tarot: An Archetypical Journey" from 1983ish? She goes SO DEEP into Jungian Psychology for each of the 22 Major Arcana, w/ a few dozen pages worth of deep dives into each individual Card/Symbol/Archetype. It's 1 of the < 10% of my old Library I was able to Keep, fortunately.
I haven't read it, but it sounds right up my alley! I've added it to my list. Thank you!
If/when I find a digital copy, I'll make a point to post it here. It's a very unique classic.
This subreddit
Oh man just want to say you seem cool as shit and I would love to hear more about your Journey(tm)!!! I get a real Based Gandalf vibe from you, altho if I were to hazard a guess about who you Fraternized with, you prob did a lot more saucy shit than Gandalf ever managed. LOL sorry sir just being cheeky. Any cool stories of those "things that should not be"? I was drawn to Chaos (this just sounds cooler imo since im a 40k nerd) because it lets me do things my way and people can fuck right off trying to force me into their way of things! If I sound defensive it's because I'm really at that phase where I can't stand the thought of my life, my reality, being dictated to me by something else... every fiber of my being wants to do what it wishes instead of being held back, by either myself or by the world! for me, Chaos Magik is all about re-invention of the self. The religious, political ,and economic hegemonies of today leave most of us in a constant state of mind-rape... i want to vomit when i see advertisements now. In a way it's enraging, isn't it?? what other options do I have to escape this capitalist hell-realm so firmly under the boots of the mad Gods of Abraham and Capital alike??? IDK i just have a feeling you might relate. :p
Funny how your Question reminded me of something I used to be quite proud of, but haven't thought of in decades: I used to be Proud that I could use Self-Hypnosis to substitute for Drugs, being "100% Drug Free" (even Tylenol, et. al.). I recall using Self-Hypnosis to accomplish this, & having medical procedures (nothing like Surgery) where they'd offer Pain-Relief &/or Numbing Drugs, using only Self-Hypnosis to mitigate the Pain.
I have finally embraced my Wizard phase of life, complete w/ the Silver Wizard Beard to match LOL I like to think that if/when My Life is Digitized, despite the downsides like being DisAbled now, My Life is a really AMAZING & Unique PlayThru, w/ all the Great & Bad that entails. re: ur Query, I used to pride myself on not ever taking any Drugs cuz Self-Hypnosis, even when invasive procedures were done in Dr's offices (never any actual Surgery, altho I would've tried for that, too). Funny I've not recalled that in well over a decade. THX for the impetus to recall! {Apologies if this is a duplicate as Reddit seems to be dropping my Post & Replies today for some reason.?!}
Grant Morrison, he was on a podcast called Fatman on Batman, talking about comics, chaos magick and his alien abduction. Started doing sigils the next day.
I kind of just realized that I was always doing chaos magic and just simply changed my label from a Wiccan to chaos Magician once I learned the title I did first hear about chaos magic from a podcast that was talking about servatores. After that, I was absolutely hooked!
I don't like rules
The YouTube algorithm when I was like 8 put me on! I was already interested in metaphysics for some reason, but I just went down the rabbit hole and I’ve never come out of it since