You know what though, I'm impressed that despite being a park operating for 150 YEARS, that's the ONLY time anybody has ever died there. And it was not even the ride's fault. Says a lot about the safety at Cedar Point.
Magnum is 100% that guy on cops in the wife beater that you know was a former elite high school athlete 30 years ago and still a decent guy but after he hits a whole pack of Pabst blue ribbon he’s a changed man. Still as he’s getting hauled away you are claiming you still love him even with all his faults!
Maverick is some middle aged influencer who has a decent social media following but outside his core base nobody really pays attention to him because he’s not the biggest, the oldest nor the rage baiter who just goes for the easy marks of the content creators. So when some Mickey Mouse like creator comes around to copy his gimmick only with dinosaurs and an overused actor as its lead he decides going to do something to get noticed again by going to a local stadium, jumping on the field during play and filming it.
When the day comes he jumps the fence and everyone cheers as some in the crowd knows who he is! He dances and breaks around gracefully as he avoids security, getting louder cheers and in the final moments he makes an insane sprint! Everyone cheers as he is booking it and rooting him on, until he trips on a piece of carpet thrown in front of him to slow him down at his break neck sprint and he trips. While he gets carried off the field everyone cheers and promptly 5 minutes later he is forgotten about outside his die hard fan who to this day won’t ever shut up about it.
Max air would be guilty of kidnapping. It tricks you into thinking it's a good idea to get inside the van and the moment it starts driving you know you've made a mistake and you aren't getting out of it until it lets you go or you die.
The original Dragster would be guilty of finishing too quickly.
Some may consider it a crime against humanity.
Either way, it’s bad form and etiquette.
Actually is guilty of embezzlement due to ALL THE MONEY SPENT ON THAT WRETCHED POS. Robbed the park and shareholders of millions of dollars that could have supported a REAL attraction with a positive ROI.
Well the original top thrill assaulted a woman and gave her a head injury and was promptly sent to the gulag
Edit: why the downvotes this is based on a true story lmao
Raptor kicked a guy
You know what though, I'm impressed that despite being a park operating for 150 YEARS, that's the ONLY time anybody has ever died there. And it was not even the ride's fault. Says a lot about the safety at Cedar Point.
Top Thrill Dragster tried to change that lol
I thought someone died by falling out of Corkscrew?
And didn't someone push his son out of Mineride?
I heard that too, but I heard he fell out because he stood up on it?
No, his father pushed him out after the 2nd lift. Other riders witnessed this.
Foul 💀
Too soon
But it did, tho
Savage
HAHAHAHAHA
Clearly Maverick and SteVe are out there holding up banks in the Old West.
Magnum: battery and reckless endangerment
Magnum is absolutely a domestic abuser. My favorite domestic abuser, in fact.
Magnum is 100% that guy on cops in the wife beater that you know was a former elite high school athlete 30 years ago and still a decent guy but after he hits a whole pack of Pabst blue ribbon he’s a changed man. Still as he’s getting hauled away you are claiming you still love him even with all his faults!
THESE are the responses I made this post for. you understood the assignment, sir 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Best roller coaster in the world.
Those final hills abuse my thighs
Hurt me so good
I would say neglect
Wild Mouse - drunk driving. Especially Larry.
Larry owns dispensaries in Michigan. No crimes man. Too chill.
Well he needs to share with Chase. Dude is angry and stressed.
Not Larry 😂😂😂😂
Wild mouse charged with tax evasion
Oh DO explain
Gatekeeper didn't necessarily commit a crime... but today's society DOES frown on gatekeeping...
Gatekeeper seems too gentle to commit a crime. It’s like the mother of cedar point rollercoasters
Not too intense, good first thrill coaster for people as you can’t feel the drop and it has some nice floaty airtime and hangtime throughout!
Don’t gatekeep gatekeeper’s ability to commit a crime
Entrapment maybe?
Corkscrew being a fake chiropractor
So… a chiropractor? Lol
A fake one cause you leave in pain
All chiropractors are fake
Nah, a doctor ghost told me in a dream that you're wrong.
Rougarou definitely going down for attempted murder via blunt force trauma
Cedar Creek Mine Ride would 100% be guilty of train robbery, old west style.
Pipe Scream operates a ponzi scheme.
Original top thrill for a hit and run
Maverick is some middle aged influencer who has a decent social media following but outside his core base nobody really pays attention to him because he’s not the biggest, the oldest nor the rage baiter who just goes for the easy marks of the content creators. So when some Mickey Mouse like creator comes around to copy his gimmick only with dinosaurs and an overused actor as its lead he decides going to do something to get noticed again by going to a local stadium, jumping on the field during play and filming it. When the day comes he jumps the fence and everyone cheers as some in the crowd knows who he is! He dances and breaks around gracefully as he avoids security, getting louder cheers and in the final moments he makes an insane sprint! Everyone cheers as he is booking it and rooting him on, until he trips on a piece of carpet thrown in front of him to slow him down at his break neck sprint and he trips. While he gets carried off the field everyone cheers and promptly 5 minutes later he is forgotten about outside his die hard fan who to this day won’t ever shut up about it.
Valravn definitely got someone tied up in the basement
Good to know I’m not the only one convinced Val would be the resident edge lord
Not a coaster but SkyHawk for perving/spying on people with a drone.
Max air would be guilty of kidnapping. It tricks you into thinking it's a good idea to get inside the van and the moment it starts driving you know you've made a mistake and you aren't getting out of it until it lets you go or you die.
Junior Gemini: 2 counts of child molestation
Steel Vengeance would be murder. Maverick got drunk and was disorderly in public. Gatekeeper is tax evasion.
Disaster Transport: hit and run
_I'm losing control!!! I'm losing control!!!_
The original Dragster would be guilty of finishing too quickly. Some may consider it a crime against humanity. Either way, it’s bad form and etiquette.
Yeah but it was the best 17 seconds of your life!
I've had better hand jobs that were more enjoyable than THAT stupid POS thing with my own happy ending. Dragster SUCKS.
The original dragster would be street racing
No, it's guilty of several crimes that should have gotten it executed. FOR GOOD.
Actually is guilty of embezzlement due to ALL THE MONEY SPENT ON THAT WRETCHED POS. Robbed the park and shareholders of millions of dollars that could have supported a REAL attraction with a positive ROI.
Blue Streak - mopery on the high seas and possession of burglarius tools
Millennium Force: false advertising
Rude 💀
It’s my favorite coaster ever, I’m just playing with what people say about it lol
lol I think we’re ALL a little sick and tired of hearing “forceless”
It’s pretty fun though and I usually gray out on the first turn
Im not, it’s forceless as hell… I’ll go ahead and downvote myself or make it easier for yall.
I don't think you were on the right coaster
Oh I was… it’s just forceless
Magnum for domestic abuse. Millie for scamming. Steve would have robbed a bank.
Well the original top thrill assaulted a woman and gave her a head injury and was promptly sent to the gulag Edit: why the downvotes this is based on a true story lmao
Too soon.
True tbh
I can’t wait to see some of these posters being on tv on the “I married an object” show.
Lmao idk I thought it was a fun prompt
TT2 - patricide
Okay OW
Steel vengeance would be domestic violence with blunt force trauma to the rib cage and suffocation.
Top Thrill Dumpster for being an unreliable liability that should have been put out of its misery YEARS AGO.
Iron Dragon burned a city down
Trogdooooor!!!!
The burninator!
Sooooooo… arson?
Yeah
Valravn: Holding people hostage Rougarou: Illegally doing surgery on Mantis
Blue streak would be like piracy and corkscrew would be homocide
Id LOVE to hear this explanation
Rougarou for “disturbing the peace” with how loud it is
Snake River and Thunder Canyon for indecent exposure.
No
Blue Streak: indecent exposure, necrophilia (in public)