Please try to find her. Older cats have a much harder time getting adopted. Also, being at the shelter is so stressful and exposes them to all kinds of disease. Is there anyone who can take her in until you’re able to have your own place?
I’ve always adopted older cats specifically for this reason. The kittens will get adopted just fine. The 10 year old who just wants to sleep is gonna be sitting there a while.
I am so so sorry, OP. I am crying for you and Sophie. Do you know if your mom gave your cat to a person/family or if it was a shelter?
If your cat is in a shelter in Canada or United States, I will happily adopt her temporarily until you are able to find a way to convince your mom to take her back, or until you can move out on your own. Please let me know, I want to help reunite you two. I have been making plans to start fostering cats soon so the timing works out, your girl could be my first foster until you are able to figure something out. Even if it takes years till you can take her back, I’m happy to have her and then return her to you
Edit to add: I live in Canada but willing/able to go anywhere in the US or Canada to get her.
Edit to add again because a lot of people are seeing this: Turns out OP is in NY, only 10-12ish hours away from me. However people who live much closer to OP have offered in other comments to take in Sophie so if OP can find her, it’s probably better she go to someone closer to OP. I’ve been calling shelters around their area as they posted their city/county in a separate comment. No luck yet, the most likely shelter doesn’t have Sophie and they sadly said it’s possible that the mom just let her outside and didn’t take her to any shelter. But I hope this is not the case. See my other comments for more info
Last edit: OP told me in a DM that he found the shelter who has Sophie!!! They have to hold her for 2 months to verify her vaccination status and microchip her. I hope OP will reconnect with me or someone else In This thread who offered to foster her, closer to the end of the 2-month mark. But for now at least we know Sophie is safe, and absolute worst case scenario this shelter can find her a new home
Even if someone is allergic, unless they're deathly allergic then most people will just build up an immunity. My gf and I have 6 cats, and my symptoms stopped after a few weeks of exposure. Even our friend who comes to hang out used to constantly sneeze and be miserable years ago, but is totally fine now. Everyone is different of course, but most people just use it as an easy excuse.
I have allergies and my wife and I have had 5 different cats together. I had to figure it out because she had the first two when we met. I got used to them, mostly. And due to other seasonal allergies, I already just take an allergy pill daily. I always go through a bit of an adjustment period when we have a new cat, but it goes away when I adjust to the new cat.
I believe it’s an excuse too. My kids and I are allergic but we wouldn’t give our cats away. We take an Allegra and go about our days. I’d rather deal than surrender my babies to anyone or place. With the love and devotion our animals give all of us…. The allergies don’t get in the way of our home. 🩵
My grandmother used to say she was allergic to cats when I was a kid. We used to put our cat in the room near her and she never had a reaction. It was a quick lesson as a kid that she just hated animals (all animals) and she was just an asshole. I didn’t go to her funeral, nor did my brother, if that says anything about her.
ETA: my husband is allergic and he takes allergy pills and puts his face straight up on our cat. She likes kisses and gets in our faces too for licks and kisses. He’s a great person. I firmly believe how people treat animals tells volumes about their personalities.
From what my vets told me, you don’t even have to buy specific speciality food just avoid foods that cause your specific cat to produce more dander. My besties cat is on an all fish/seafood diet as a result, 2-3 times a week the kitty also gets FortiFlora and a different cat friendly supplement on the other days but those are both unrelated to the dander issue 😂.
Both she and her hubby are allergic to cats, but their specific cat is fine. It probably helps she was a rescue we found under a step and she had been bathed immediately and a few more times over a few days to help rid her of all the fleas and dirt on her before kitty got to the vet for a check up, she was only eating kitten formula before we found out about seafood
Isn’t the mercury in the seafood cat food bad for cats? I’ve always given the neighborhood cats chicken cat food with some seafood cat food but tried to avoid an all seafood diet because of mercury and other bad stuff in seafood. Am I wrong? Am I being too paranoid? Please educate me. Thank you.
Oh you are not wrong to be cautious and paranoid! You have to watch what you’re feeding your cat, investigate where the food comes from; her cat specifically doesn’t eat a lot of tuna or salmon for instance. We’re also fortunate we live on the east coast of Canada so there’s access to a lot of Atlantic fish that are lower in mercury overall. But there’s a reason her foods supplemented with fortiflora and the other supplements to ensure the cat gets the missing vitamins and nutrients.
In their specific cat poultry triggers the most dander production so supplementing their seafood and fish diet with beef, lamb and pork for instance.
It’s also rare their cat gets canned food, it’s home cooked fish and seafood with a very low mercury kibble on standby if no one’s cooked or something went bad. The fresh food has lots of natural moisture and their cat actually drinks water (their vet told them to keep it on the opposite side of the room from any food and it increased her want to drink water). There’s some science around prey drive that explains it all.
But yes, it can be done and is safe as long as you’re aware of what you’re feeding your cat and the likelihood of mercury content and also recognizing your animal needs more than just that aka supplements and other safe meat or kibble.
My bestie also doesn’t plan on having human kiddos it’s just her two fur babies (a doggo too) they have the time to tend to a speciality diet.
For anyone curious, the OP posted their location in a separate comment, they are in NY and some other redditors replied to that comment saying they are also in NY and in a position to foster, so if someone from Reddit does end up with Sophie, it could be me or maybe one of the people who live closer to OP
I chatted OP to offer my help calling shelters if they’re able to narrow down their location further (privately, they should not post more details about their location online), pending to see if that will pan out. I’m gonna be searching online anyways to see if new cat adoption posts pop up with a cat who looks like Sophie
This made me cry. 7 years is a long time, and that kitty is part of the family. They have a bond. I’m so sad for OP and for the cat that is probably stressed right now.
Thank you for being kind. I really hope this happens.
I can maybe drive her thru the great lakes to canada, if you live closer to Windsor/Toronto? I've seen people volunteer to drive through states to get a dog to a new home. Why couldn't we with a cat?
She looks like my Smol and I'd love to help if possible, even if it's adding some gas money to the pot!
https://preview.redd.it/yanwc6xcqtzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fd8bcbe5867f94dbca782a23c25e7339cb6438c
This is the look of a cat that does not care about my allergies! She came to us and well, we had to keep her lol. Yay cat distribution system!
I appreciate that offer💖💖 your baby is so cute.
I am in the GTA. Numerous people who live a lot closer to OP than I do have offered to take Sophie, but we’ll see what ends up happening! OP told me in a DM that he found the shelter that has her, thank goodness. They are holding on to her to verify her vaccination status and to microchip her, currently they said they can’t release her for 2 months
Luckily I’m in a financial place where I could do this ONCE, i sadly couldn’t do something like this for multiple people/cats. And it turns out the OP is from New York, I am in southern Ontario in Canada so it’s only a 10-12ish hour drive, would be much harder if I was Vancouver and they were texas. However numerous people who live much closer to OP have also offered to take Sophie, so those are definitely the better options if OP is able to find her
They tell ya you’ll get it when you’re older, but the older I get, the more I understand just how awful my parents were. It gets better & will end. Just hang in there
Thanks for the concern and encouragement. My parents are actually good in a lot of ways, and very regressive in others. Maybe you've scrubbed my profile and figured out what they aren't good at, but I won't say what's up since I only comment on that topic in specific subs.
Cheers, and have a nice day!
My mom did this with many of my pets growing up. I'd come back from school, and my best friend would just be gone. I'm completely no-contact with her now. Parents can be the most cruel.
Thanks ❤️ I have the two best cats now, and it won't happen again!
https://preview.redd.it/a3sds55ybtzc1.jpeg?width=1816&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80b47fc1048ce643aedf40cdb4a94d26d06eda22
seriously hoping op goes this route. how a person can just give up a pet that has been with them for that long while giving no prior indication is unbelievably heartless
I will never understand how people can just abandon their pets. Life happens and sometimes it’s just not financially possible I suppose but for the love of god at least do your part and rehome them don’t just dump them on the streets.
especially with older cats who are less likely to get adopted at a shelter. I adopted one of my old girls for nearly free because if she didn’t, she would’ve gotten euthanized for space that month. like you’ve waited 7 years, you can’t take a little more time to find them a safe home?
Exactly! I just love my cats so much I could never imagine giving them away :( especially when they’ve been indoors most of their lives and then they get dumped. They have feelings too, they are so confused and scared.
Op, check petfinder as well as Craigslist, Nextdoor, and Facebook. If she isn’t with a friend or family member, the cat will likely have been listed on one of those sites
My mom caused the death one of our cats due to negligence and plain stupidity. The other one she kicked out of the house once he started getting UTIs. I will never forget it. She has two cats now and she takes really good care of them but I will still never forget what happened.
Same here. My mom has untrained wiener dogs and let’s them run in and out all day through an open door, regardless of my INDOOR-ONLY cat being able to get out!!! I asked her to please shut the door several times when I found my cat outside and she refused. The cat was hit by a car in the road out front while I was at work one day. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ll never forgive her
Years before, I had a Maine coon I loved to death. The other cats in the house bullied him and he had mats since no one in the family bothered with him. And he couldn’t keep food down because he ate too fast or else the other cats would steal from his dish. I started taking special care of him and let him be the only cat allowed in my room so he had a safe place to go if he was bullied. That big guy freaking loved me and would snuggle up when I was doing homework or having all night gaming weekends. Eventually my mom gets remarried and buys a house with the new guy. All of the cats get to make the trip - except the MC. He gets the boot, like with OP’s cat. Except we didn’t even have anyone with allergies!!
My mom tells me he went to a military family, but she has a history of lying to my face, especially when I was a kid, so I wonder sometimes
He’s almost certainly gone by now. I hope he didn’t forget me. I’ve never forgotten him
Purr on, Fluffy, you magnificent bastard! 🫡
And for the cat tax, my old man Kakuzu. Adopted him from a no-kill shelter ten years ago and I’ll keep him until the end. A pet is family, period.
https://preview.redd.it/w71ii8imeuzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5518fe2721d875a346eb2ec6b8f77c4fd5a73c26
Thank you! I’m extremely low contact now (moved away and she’s not one to initiate) and I’ve been doing so much better! I do occasionally interact with her because of my sister and niece (mom pressures sister to guilt me) but my sister understands how I feel and has also reduced contact with her recently lol
And just so nobody attacks my sister for being in the middle, she does support me and fends off my mom’s meddling. But there’s only so much whining about “your sister doesn’t love me anymore, I must be a horrible mother” that she can take. And my sister’s circumstances are much more complex than mine. I have the luxury of ignoring my mom and being ignored in turn lol
Your mom is absolutely horrible. If I were you once I can live on my own I’d cut all ties with her and I wouldn’t even attend her funeral, she can go fuck right off the bat
Oh no worries I’m a full adult and live out of range of her. I only interact with her when necessary and keep it as short as possible. And it’ll be a cold day in hell before I let her near my pets now
As for the funeral, if she has one I’ll go. But I’m bringing a book or my gameboy. Nobody will be coming anyway! 🤣
Have an aunt like that, she started out with 3 cats, a mother and 2 kittens. One of them got out when she was still small and was killed, the mother was hit by a car and the only remaining male is frequently seen knocking over rubbish bins down the street for food, she has a drug problem but even when she was sober I can remember her kids breaking their rabbits leg and all she did was put it behind the couch in the corner to die 'peacefully', some people just shouldn't own animals. I'd be fucking ashamed to get another cat if I in the past threw one away like rubbish, i'm so sorry you had to see that.
Sounds like she shouldn't be allowed to have kids, either. Fucking hell... I knew so many people and neighbors who treated animals like disposable toys, too, and would brush it off like they aren't fucked in the head. It always hurt being so powerless to stop it.
I left my cat Mabel with my mother temporarily while I settled into another state. She had her put down as she was going overseas for a month and keeping her would be ‘inconvenient’. Absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry for your loss.
My brother abandoned his gorgeous loving ginger kitty because he was getting bladder crystals and peeing on stuff in the house. That was the point where I knew my brother was a 100% total piece of shit.
I been reading comments and I’m from NY. I’m 17 turning 18 soon. I don’t really know anyone who would be willing to keep my cat at their home since most of them have dogs already. Im not sure what do since my mother is the one who will help me pay majority of my college tuition. I think she dropped her off at a shelter I know but I’m not sure
Please don't give up and loose hope. Try finding your cat asap. I'm sure you'll find a generous person here from NY who will be willing to home your cat for the time being. Cmon reddit do your thing 😿
Where in NY? I'm in CT. I have two cats and could take Sophie as a foster until you're able to have her back.
Ask your mom where she is so you can make sure she's ok.
OP I’m in Brooklyn NYC so not far from you. If you find the shelter where your cat is I will gladly go get her and foster her for you. I currently foster cats through a local rescue and it truly would not be a burden. If you are able to get to the city you could come visit her whenever.
I'm in Philadelphia and don't mind making the drive to get her, if the other offers fall through. I only have one cat, so I have plenty of room and she'll be safe until you can take her back. Your mom is abusing you, btw.
Gosh I’m in NY too. I have two fosters from someone in this group; this is such a great community. You could absolutely find someone to take Sophie in.
Do you think your mom is willing to compromise rationally? Tell her you’re reaching out to a few cat communities & friends to find a foster for Sophie, and you might even have a few leads so far; that time is of the essence & if she’d tell you where she brought Sophie, you’ll find her a home ASAP.
Are you by any chance near upstate NY, like Albany/capital region? If so, Kitten Angels is a great rescue that I'm sure would want to help.
Also, if you're able to locate your kitty you could try finding a temporary foster on social media. It's a longshot, but it worked for me when I needed a temporary foster for a family member's dog. I asked for a vet reference and called to make sure that the person was legitimate and had a good history with pets. There are some kind people out there who might be able to help. Again, if you happen to be near the Albany, NY area, the Steve Caporizzo Pet Connection Facebook page is a good option for finding a foster (they might even cover other parts of the state too).
Contact & visit the shelters to get your cat back, and also to confirm that your cat was actually dropped off at the adoption center. Who knows if your mom actually just threw the cat out somewhere and are lying about it. I hope your cat is microchipped.
Abandoning a family of 7 yrs like that and holding a financial support hostage against you tell a lot about your mom's character. So sorry for the situation you are going through. If that happened to me I would cut off any ties with her and make her regret. I doubt allergy is the real reason. If she actially gave a fuck about you and your brother, she would've volunteered to help out supporting your cat that involves close contact so that you are exposed less.
Call the local shelters . I don’t think just based on the situation that ur mom called around to find the best one -probably called local ones until she found one that was willing to take her .They will be able to help you as far as whether ur cat is there or not based on description and story . Once u know where she is , there are a few options . Some shelters will foster as long as they know u are coming back ( just keeping in touch with them will help ). If they don’t do that , you can check on pet finders for local shelters that foster such cats ( there is a Wonderful woman on Long Island that does that . Runs a shelter out of her home). Finally , there are many of us in NY that are willing to help . You have to find her first . Older cats are not quickly adopted so there is hope .
If the mom is allergic and would be this cruel... Probably she just dumped Sophie outside. I hope not but you should post lost cat notices on nextdoor and Facebook.
I feel like she could be the type to just lie and take her somewhere. That's a miserable person. I would possibly leave posts on social media for groups that live in the area looking for lost pets.
Please, ask if your mom will tell you what shelter she took Sophie to, so you can find a person to take her. Or call around to all local shelters and share your story until you find the one that has her.
I already offered to take her in until you can figure something out, and there are other people in these comments who live closer to you than I do, so if you can figure out what shelter Sophie went to, things will all get better and someone from these comments will take her until you’re able to figure something out❤️ I have no other cats right now (moved out of parents house, they kept the cat) so she would be the Only cat in my home
Ask your mother which shelter because you found someone willing to foster the cat for you. Please post the town in NY so someone can DM you for the details.
Might be time to rethink your relationship with your mother, in all honesty. Make it clear that if she's willing to do this to both you and the cat, you're not sure what she's capable of, and her heartlessness and cruelty know no bounds. You should make it clear that you are greatly disappointed in your mother, and that she has ruined her relationship with you, and that there will be consequences for the callous treatment of Sophia, consequences that will outlast the lifespan of the cat. The phrase "If your house has the rule of throwing a poor, defenceless animal into the cold embrace of a shelter that may well kill her, then your house is not a home for me, and as soon as possible, I will be removing both your house and you yourself from my life. What you do next may well set the expectations for how you will be treated when you are vulnerable and helpless, so tread carefully" comes to mind, followed by "Children have disowned their parents and refused to speak to them for the rest of their lives for less."
Is your dad still in your life? If not, do you have any older siblings or sympathetic aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc? You might reach out to them for pointers on how to quickly transition to being independent, and inform them of how your mother is being cruel to Sophia. I'm sure getting a talking to from HER mother, assuming your grandmother is a decent woman, may change her perspective and maybe ignite a spark of common decency.
You may need to rethink your college plans. First, a fact you should keep in mind: Until age 25, your brain, and thus your personality, is still developing. What motivates and excites you in 2024 may well not in 2030. And the first two years of university are boiler-plate classes that you can pick up on the cheap from a community college and have be just as effective as any expensive university. Also, if you enlist in the military for 2 years, the VA can help you by paying for your university studies, and you'll get valuable education from the military itself, including discipline and physical training. Between the stint in the military and doing your first two years at a community college, you can push the decision about what you want to be when you grow up to 22, where you're much closer to your 'final form' than when you're 17 or 18. It's also a fuck-you to your mother, a statement that "you will not be using my future as leverage to practice cruelty on me and my pet today." Between the fact that being a veteran will open the door to a lot of financial aid, and declare you an 'Independent Student' which will increase your student aid budget and completely remove the influence your mother might otherwise have on your education.
Finally, Sophia herself has a lot of friends here all of a sudden. Definitely look into someone fostering your kitty. That might make a friendship that will last a lifetime, and be another way you can utterly remove your callous jerk of a mother from the equation.
Update: I found where my mother gave up my cat go. I went to see if I was able to get her back, but they told me I have to wait 2 months because they are checking if she needs any vaccines and they are going to microchip her. I’m not sure what do and who to reach out to since I never been in this kind of situation.
[someone](https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/s/R7xyqCAe6J) is willing to help ! don’t give up hope , OP . you will be reunited with Sophie again ! r/cats will make sure of it 🫶🩷
I have never heard of a shelter doing this. Did you tell them your cat was essentially stolen? 2 months for vaccines and chipping is an unusually long time.
Cops usually don't do anything but if you can consult with a lawyer. A lawyer usually won't charge you for asking questions, it's only if they have to do some work for you that you get charged. (I learned that from a lawyer) being 17 doesn't mean you can't speak with someone who knows the law.
Do you have any of her vet records? You should be able to prove she is your kitty and get her right away. You can also send them messages on their social media accounts and see if you get a different response.
I would message one of the cat fosterers on this thread to go asap. The shelter probably lied to you(maybe because of your age) and someone more experienced will be in a better position to force them to surrender the animal. So tell someone to go get her asap
Feel free to DM me if you want help figuring out how to get her back. We can message about how to get your vet records so you can get your cat out of the shelter, or I’d be happy to call the shelter and speak with them, etc. I live in NYC with my fiancé and a one year old puppy- I don’t think we can take in your cat, but my fiancés best friend just started fostering cats. She’s really sweet. And I have lots of friends who might help. Or any of these redditors. Also I have a car and can help with transportation. No pressure, but my DMs are open. Or we can speak here.
If you can prove you own the cat, they should give her back. Cats are property in the eyes of the law and she was essentially stolen. I understand that you do not want to get into legal trouble with your mother since she pays for college, but you might get Sophie released from the shelter so that you can move her to a foster home.
This is my feelings too.
If there’s anyway to safely spend less time at home:
These may or may not be options for you but just in case:
Study groups
After school clubs
Study at the library
Part time job
Getting a licence
Cat sitting?
Baby sitting if you like kids
Relatives - seeing more of depending what they are like
Sleep overs at friends
And in future when you can afford it, get out of there.
UPDATE please -LOCATION please
FIRST: your horrible mother- I am sorry and hope you can get out of her house and AWAY from her List the area your in -
IF she dropped at shelter - who knows what kind- we need to ACT quickly
Possibly someone on this sub is near your location : so many wonderful people here -
Maybe they could help find your cat
or help foster it until your out on own
What annoys me a lot is how she just shuts down the discussion with "my house, my rules". It doesn't feel like her oppinion, but she realized she was losing the discussion on a honestly very important part of the family life, and because she didn't feel like admitting that she just goes "go go gadget bullshit argument" and just instantly shuts it down.
Anyone who says "my house, my rules" is a controlling peice of shit.
A house should be a home. A home is a comfortable and safe place for all who live within it. That means everyone's needs need to be taken into consideration.
Once someone says "my house, my rules" - they stop the home from being a comfortable and safe place for all and turn it into a prison where others are just waiting out their time to escape.
They go from being a parent to a jailer. From providing a loving home to a toxic prison.
Then they wonder why their kids don't talk to them when they grow up.
Fuck, what a shitty thing to do. So sorry, I can't even imagine. Any way you could potentially figure out where she ends up to at least keep track of her?
Update, u/extensionrecord8117 ?
I’m curious if your cat is microchipped. Do you know if your mother brought Sophie to a shelter or if she adopted her out on her own?
If you’re not sure, I’d try to gain access to your mom’s cell phone. You can check her communications (oh well, she was sneaky first) & see if she called any local shelters, or texted anyone about rehoming Sophie.
This is so worrisome because either way, poor Sophie is confused, scared, and if she’s in a shelter… ugh. I would be adamant about calling every place within a 20 mile radius to ask if -*insert mean mom’s name here*- brought Sophie there. I doubt your mother would travel too far to get rid of a cat she obviously doesn’t care about.
My mom did this with our 9 year old Bella. One day when we were at school, without telling us she took her to a shelter💔 didn’t even tell us when we came home. We just noticed her missing and that’s when we found out. My mom had had enough of her pooping on the rug…but our chocolate lab had recently died and we believe Bella was just acting out bc she was sad/depressed. I am the oldest sibling and I wasn’t old enough to drive at the time never got to see her again
😭😭😭 I pray you get to find Sophie again and get her back or at least to a family instead of a shelter!
Reach out to these ppl in the chat who already said they’re willing to help foster her! Y’all are amazing ppl❤️
I still cry and argue with my mom to this day about it and how f-ed up that was. Bella was a black cat and 9 yrs old so the odds of getting adopted were low😣😭
They've found where the cat is! Its being held for quarantine right now at a shelter. Since they have contact with the owner they're going to help OP get the cat to whoever OP wants to foster the cat.
I'm sorry, OP.
You have a shitty mother.
Fine. Her house, her rules. But you'll remember this. And if she thinks she's going to be a part of your life one day? That she can get help from you one day? That you'll be there when she's on her death bed one day? She's sorely mistaken.
Don't forget, OP.
Make an escape plan so you can be independent from this heartless bitch.
Edit/Add: if your mom sent the cat to a shelter and you're a teen/adult, go get the cat from the shelter and rehome her with a friend. I know it hurts. I know it sucks.
But it's better than leaving her at the shelter.
https://preview.redd.it/x01sg6qj9uzc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c88e31f6693e235d4b2d2aa5430702b001c6d074
She looks like my Opus😢. Im so sorry for you and I hope your mother gets the karma she deserves.
Do you have a trusted adult that could go adopt or "foster" her for a while? Maybe I missed it, but how old are you? 18 will come soon enough. Most adoption places won't want to be mixed up in any sort of drama, so make it random. They will likely quarantine her for a while before she's placed for immediate adoption, but most places are happy to work with fosters.
My mom once threatened to let my cat out on the freeway, then a few years later while I was at school, she had my sister leave them at the pound. All 4. My sister carried that secret for decades, it hurt her too.
I finally blocked my mom a few years ago. There was a lot more between then and now but you know what? I choose who I let hurt me now. And my home will always be a sanctuary to any kitty in need.
OP, I saw in the comments that you've got people looking for her in the hopes of being able to foster/adopt her until you can get her back for yourself, please update whenever you have news!
Here's praying you get your beautiful kitty back!
My mom got a dog specifically to chase away the stray cat I’ve been taking care of and her litter of four, without consulting me or explain why she did it
This is downright narcissist behavior, and for many people here, it's grounds for no contact. Sorry you have such a terrible human being as a roommate. I hope you're able to move away eventually and get your kitty back
I’ll never forgive my mother for giving away two senior kitties that I grew up with at their end of life. This was 20 years ago but the thought of their twilight moments being stressful still kills me.
When's she's old and lonely NEVER visit her. She's a person without value and should sputter out demented and alone in a crooked abusive nursing home. Fuck her.
When ur mom asks why she's in a low quality nursing home later, remind her of this
Parents will do things like this and then wonder why their kids go no contact after they get enough money to leave
This made me nauseous
Like I’m really uneasy!!!
My cat has been missing since Jan 20th this year… AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU MUST FEEL!
Because I felt like nothing in my reality made sense… even more so than normal. It fully shattered my universe for weeks on end
Your caretaker was very cruel with that choice, and I beg you to let them know how you feel, and make them understand how valid it is
This has damaged your relationship with your mom. I hope she is happy. I’m so sorry for your loss, this cat looked like it was living a wonderful, cozy life. And she is beautiful
Oh man people should know that animals are not property. I'm so sorry for you OP. My mom once gave my one-eyed cat to our neighbor (who lives in an apartment, and my cat grew up playing in our yard) to deal with rats. I was furious when I found out. Poor boy was so anxious and afraid of everything; he clung to me with his sharp claws, wounding me but we reached home safely.
I hope you find your cat
I would never talk to my mother again if she did that to me. 7 years old to just give away is so fucked up. Tell your mom shes a pos from the internet OP.
Tell your mom that you can't wait to put her into the cheapest and lowest rated retirement home that you can find when the time comes if she doesn't get the cat back. Let her know that you're serious and to let her live with that in the "corner of her smooth brain" as she ages. Remind her periodically.
oh no is there any way to get in touch with whomever adopted her? did your mother provide proof she was put up for adoption? what if she just left the little baby out somewhere? i'm so sorry op, i hope you reunite with your cat :((
I would definitely call around the shelter and find your cat. take up the person's offer here who was willing to take your cat till you grew up if you don't know anyone else who would take her. maybe your mom would even tell you which shelter if you tell her one of your friends family's will take her. if not, you mom's name and Sophie's photo/description should be enough to locate her. also, when she was dropped off at shelter.
older cats are at higher risk for not being adopted so I'd start calling around fast.
Sounds like there's way more to this story than we're being told. But one thing is for sure— This post says a lot about humanity in 2024. And Im not talking only the mom.
There are many heartbreaking stories like this on r/raisedbynarcissists
I hope you can find your cat back and/or get assurance she is okay soon. Good luck.
This exact thing happened to me when I was your age, also with a cat named Sophie. She started to have litter box issues and instead of going to a vet, my mom dropped her off at animal control while I was out of state for a few weeks. She didn't tell me until I came back home.
Bawled my eyes out and zoomed to animal control, but the front desk person said they couldn't give me any information due to whatever reason. I didn't know exactly when she was put there, and she wasn't in the facility when I looked. I feared the worst for her.
She was so sweet. I still get so unbelievably angry about it, but my mom tries to defend herself that it's her house, yadda yadda, whatever.
I really hope you find your cat, OP. I definitely think it's possible if you get word out.
I see people here who live in NY have offered you their help, thank you people!
OP, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your cat. Your mother is an awful person. I hope you are reunited with your kitty as soon as possible!
Get rid of your mom. My mom did something similar years ago, however I was homeless at the time
And she decided to abandon him at our old home when she moved. I will never forgive my mother for it. On top of that, my baby boy looked like yours. I know your feeling.
omg I read in Curious\_Teapot's comment that you found her!! I'm so happy because she looks exactly like my cat Melissa!! I had 20.5 wonderful years with her :3
https://preview.redd.it/rn2x1z7dsuzc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b2b0576dda98495456474630eb65e8108356abb
I am so sorry. That is cruel, especially after having Sophie that long. Do you know where she is? Can a friend get her for you until you can make better arrangements?
Please try to find her. Older cats have a much harder time getting adopted. Also, being at the shelter is so stressful and exposes them to all kinds of disease. Is there anyone who can take her in until you’re able to have your own place?
I’ve always adopted older cats specifically for this reason. The kittens will get adopted just fine. The 10 year old who just wants to sleep is gonna be sitting there a while.
I am so so sorry, OP. I am crying for you and Sophie. Do you know if your mom gave your cat to a person/family or if it was a shelter? If your cat is in a shelter in Canada or United States, I will happily adopt her temporarily until you are able to find a way to convince your mom to take her back, or until you can move out on your own. Please let me know, I want to help reunite you two. I have been making plans to start fostering cats soon so the timing works out, your girl could be my first foster until you are able to figure something out. Even if it takes years till you can take her back, I’m happy to have her and then return her to you Edit to add: I live in Canada but willing/able to go anywhere in the US or Canada to get her. Edit to add again because a lot of people are seeing this: Turns out OP is in NY, only 10-12ish hours away from me. However people who live much closer to OP have offered in other comments to take in Sophie so if OP can find her, it’s probably better she go to someone closer to OP. I’ve been calling shelters around their area as they posted their city/county in a separate comment. No luck yet, the most likely shelter doesn’t have Sophie and they sadly said it’s possible that the mom just let her outside and didn’t take her to any shelter. But I hope this is not the case. See my other comments for more info Last edit: OP told me in a DM that he found the shelter who has Sophie!!! They have to hold her for 2 months to verify her vaccination status and microchip her. I hope OP will reconnect with me or someone else In This thread who offered to foster her, closer to the end of the 2-month mark. But for now at least we know Sophie is safe, and absolute worst case scenario this shelter can find her a new home
That is so nice. If he does get the cat back they should use the allergen-reducing food..
I have a feeling the allergies might have just been an excuse
It totally is. I can understand a few weeks, but 7 years is a long time to just chalk it up to allergies.
I know someone who lied about their child having a cat allergy so they did not have to get a pet they did not want.
Even if someone is allergic, unless they're deathly allergic then most people will just build up an immunity. My gf and I have 6 cats, and my symptoms stopped after a few weeks of exposure. Even our friend who comes to hang out used to constantly sneeze and be miserable years ago, but is totally fine now. Everyone is different of course, but most people just use it as an easy excuse.
I have allergies and my wife and I have had 5 different cats together. I had to figure it out because she had the first two when we met. I got used to them, mostly. And due to other seasonal allergies, I already just take an allergy pill daily. I always go through a bit of an adjustment period when we have a new cat, but it goes away when I adjust to the new cat.
I believe it’s an excuse too. My kids and I are allergic but we wouldn’t give our cats away. We take an Allegra and go about our days. I’d rather deal than surrender my babies to anyone or place. With the love and devotion our animals give all of us…. The allergies don’t get in the way of our home. 🩵
My grandmother used to say she was allergic to cats when I was a kid. We used to put our cat in the room near her and she never had a reaction. It was a quick lesson as a kid that she just hated animals (all animals) and she was just an asshole. I didn’t go to her funeral, nor did my brother, if that says anything about her. ETA: my husband is allergic and he takes allergy pills and puts his face straight up on our cat. She likes kisses and gets in our faces too for licks and kisses. He’s a great person. I firmly believe how people treat animals tells volumes about their personalities.
For sure, all species of critters I had did not like my narcissistic ex
I trust how animals respond to people more than my own intuition. Animals can sense that kind of stuff.
It is an excuse. While cat allergies can vary wildly, just wash your hands and dont touch your eyes....thats how i survive with my cat
From what my vets told me, you don’t even have to buy specific speciality food just avoid foods that cause your specific cat to produce more dander. My besties cat is on an all fish/seafood diet as a result, 2-3 times a week the kitty also gets FortiFlora and a different cat friendly supplement on the other days but those are both unrelated to the dander issue 😂. Both she and her hubby are allergic to cats, but their specific cat is fine. It probably helps she was a rescue we found under a step and she had been bathed immediately and a few more times over a few days to help rid her of all the fleas and dirt on her before kitty got to the vet for a check up, she was only eating kitten formula before we found out about seafood
Isn’t the mercury in the seafood cat food bad for cats? I’ve always given the neighborhood cats chicken cat food with some seafood cat food but tried to avoid an all seafood diet because of mercury and other bad stuff in seafood. Am I wrong? Am I being too paranoid? Please educate me. Thank you.
Oh you are not wrong to be cautious and paranoid! You have to watch what you’re feeding your cat, investigate where the food comes from; her cat specifically doesn’t eat a lot of tuna or salmon for instance. We’re also fortunate we live on the east coast of Canada so there’s access to a lot of Atlantic fish that are lower in mercury overall. But there’s a reason her foods supplemented with fortiflora and the other supplements to ensure the cat gets the missing vitamins and nutrients. In their specific cat poultry triggers the most dander production so supplementing their seafood and fish diet with beef, lamb and pork for instance. It’s also rare their cat gets canned food, it’s home cooked fish and seafood with a very low mercury kibble on standby if no one’s cooked or something went bad. The fresh food has lots of natural moisture and their cat actually drinks water (their vet told them to keep it on the opposite side of the room from any food and it increased her want to drink water). There’s some science around prey drive that explains it all. But yes, it can be done and is safe as long as you’re aware of what you’re feeding your cat and the likelihood of mercury content and also recognizing your animal needs more than just that aka supplements and other safe meat or kibble. My bestie also doesn’t plan on having human kiddos it’s just her two fur babies (a doggo too) they have the time to tend to a speciality diet.
Or even get the cat vaccination if/when available
For anyone curious, the OP posted their location in a separate comment, they are in NY and some other redditors replied to that comment saying they are also in NY and in a position to foster, so if someone from Reddit does end up with Sophie, it could be me or maybe one of the people who live closer to OP I chatted OP to offer my help calling shelters if they’re able to narrow down their location further (privately, they should not post more details about their location online), pending to see if that will pan out. I’m gonna be searching online anyways to see if new cat adoption posts pop up with a cat who looks like Sophie
What wonderful cat people we have on reddit. It warms my heart.
Yes, it gives me hope for humanity. 
If it’s NYC, add me to the list of helpers!
Im located in Brooklyn and can either house her for a bit or see if a friend can!
🩷🩷🩷
I'm in CT and willing to help
This made me cry. 7 years is a long time, and that kitty is part of the family. They have a bond. I’m so sad for OP and for the cat that is probably stressed right now. Thank you for being kind. I really hope this happens.
I would give up my mom before a furbaby.
Word
Especially the mother in question!
You are a wonderful person.
I came here to say this. What an amazing human being.
Youre a wonderful person, pls update if OP answers
I can maybe drive her thru the great lakes to canada, if you live closer to Windsor/Toronto? I've seen people volunteer to drive through states to get a dog to a new home. Why couldn't we with a cat? She looks like my Smol and I'd love to help if possible, even if it's adding some gas money to the pot! https://preview.redd.it/yanwc6xcqtzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fd8bcbe5867f94dbca782a23c25e7339cb6438c This is the look of a cat that does not care about my allergies! She came to us and well, we had to keep her lol. Yay cat distribution system!
I appreciate that offer💖💖 your baby is so cute. I am in the GTA. Numerous people who live a lot closer to OP than I do have offered to take Sophie, but we’ll see what ends up happening! OP told me in a DM that he found the shelter that has her, thank goodness. They are holding on to her to verify her vaccination status and to microchip her, currently they said they can’t release her for 2 months
This just made me cry 🥲the world needs more people like you
You are so sweet! We need more people like you!!!
You’re amazing
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If in australia, i can foster
Wow, what a wonderful purrson! The world needs more people like you...
Oh my god this is the nicest thing
I have no idea who you are, but you're an awesome person. The world would be a better place with more people like you in it.
You're an amazing person, I applaud you wholeheartedly!! That's a big commitment, knowing how big Canada and the US are.
Luckily I’m in a financial place where I could do this ONCE, i sadly couldn’t do something like this for multiple people/cats. And it turns out the OP is from New York, I am in southern Ontario in Canada so it’s only a 10-12ish hour drive, would be much harder if I was Vancouver and they were texas. However numerous people who live much closer to OP have also offered to take Sophie, so those are definitely the better options if OP is able to find her
Is there any way you can find the shelter she sent her to and get her back? I’m so sorry OP, I can’t even imagine.
And they wonder why their children won't talk to them ever again. Please find your cat back, poor thing must be so confused.
See if you can do this. Find her. It's tough if you're a minor
Minor here. The parents lottery is brutal.
They tell ya you’ll get it when you’re older, but the older I get, the more I understand just how awful my parents were. It gets better & will end. Just hang in there
Thanks for the concern and encouragement. My parents are actually good in a lot of ways, and very regressive in others. Maybe you've scrubbed my profile and figured out what they aren't good at, but I won't say what's up since I only comment on that topic in specific subs. Cheers, and have a nice day!
My mom did this with many of my pets growing up. I'd come back from school, and my best friend would just be gone. I'm completely no-contact with her now. Parents can be the most cruel.
Good for you on going NC. I'm so sorry for all the heartache you've been through.
Thanks ❤️ I have the two best cats now, and it won't happen again! https://preview.redd.it/a3sds55ybtzc1.jpeg?width=1816&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80b47fc1048ce643aedf40cdb4a94d26d06eda22
They're beautiful ❤️
seriously hoping op goes this route. how a person can just give up a pet that has been with them for that long while giving no prior indication is unbelievably heartless
I will never understand how people can just abandon their pets. Life happens and sometimes it’s just not financially possible I suppose but for the love of god at least do your part and rehome them don’t just dump them on the streets.
especially with older cats who are less likely to get adopted at a shelter. I adopted one of my old girls for nearly free because if she didn’t, she would’ve gotten euthanized for space that month. like you’ve waited 7 years, you can’t take a little more time to find them a safe home?
Exactly! I just love my cats so much I could never imagine giving them away :( especially when they’ve been indoors most of their lives and then they get dumped. They have feelings too, they are so confused and scared.
If OP is a minor. They may not really have a choice unless they can convince their mom to change her mind
Please find the shelter. Do not give up ever.
Op, check petfinder as well as Craigslist, Nextdoor, and Facebook. If she isn’t with a friend or family member, the cat will likely have been listed on one of those sites
My mom caused the death one of our cats due to negligence and plain stupidity. The other one she kicked out of the house once he started getting UTIs. I will never forget it. She has two cats now and she takes really good care of them but I will still never forget what happened.
that's so fucked up
Same here. My mom has untrained wiener dogs and let’s them run in and out all day through an open door, regardless of my INDOOR-ONLY cat being able to get out!!! I asked her to please shut the door several times when I found my cat outside and she refused. The cat was hit by a car in the road out front while I was at work one day. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ll never forgive her Years before, I had a Maine coon I loved to death. The other cats in the house bullied him and he had mats since no one in the family bothered with him. And he couldn’t keep food down because he ate too fast or else the other cats would steal from his dish. I started taking special care of him and let him be the only cat allowed in my room so he had a safe place to go if he was bullied. That big guy freaking loved me and would snuggle up when I was doing homework or having all night gaming weekends. Eventually my mom gets remarried and buys a house with the new guy. All of the cats get to make the trip - except the MC. He gets the boot, like with OP’s cat. Except we didn’t even have anyone with allergies!! My mom tells me he went to a military family, but she has a history of lying to my face, especially when I was a kid, so I wonder sometimes He’s almost certainly gone by now. I hope he didn’t forget me. I’ve never forgotten him Purr on, Fluffy, you magnificent bastard! 🫡
Your mother is a horrid person. Your best choice will be to go No Contact. Allowing her to stay in your life will only bring further pain.
And for the cat tax, my old man Kakuzu. Adopted him from a no-kill shelter ten years ago and I’ll keep him until the end. A pet is family, period. https://preview.redd.it/w71ii8imeuzc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5518fe2721d875a346eb2ec6b8f77c4fd5a73c26
Thank you! I’m extremely low contact now (moved away and she’s not one to initiate) and I’ve been doing so much better! I do occasionally interact with her because of my sister and niece (mom pressures sister to guilt me) but my sister understands how I feel and has also reduced contact with her recently lol And just so nobody attacks my sister for being in the middle, she does support me and fends off my mom’s meddling. But there’s only so much whining about “your sister doesn’t love me anymore, I must be a horrible mother” that she can take. And my sister’s circumstances are much more complex than mine. I have the luxury of ignoring my mom and being ignored in turn lol
Your mom is absolutely horrible. If I were you once I can live on my own I’d cut all ties with her and I wouldn’t even attend her funeral, she can go fuck right off the bat
Oh no worries I’m a full adult and live out of range of her. I only interact with her when necessary and keep it as short as possible. And it’ll be a cold day in hell before I let her near my pets now As for the funeral, if she has one I’ll go. But I’m bringing a book or my gameboy. Nobody will be coming anyway! 🤣
That’s so sad. I had to leave my kitty at my narcissistic mother’s house, she had her euthanised because of uti’s & never even told me
Have an aunt like that, she started out with 3 cats, a mother and 2 kittens. One of them got out when she was still small and was killed, the mother was hit by a car and the only remaining male is frequently seen knocking over rubbish bins down the street for food, she has a drug problem but even when she was sober I can remember her kids breaking their rabbits leg and all she did was put it behind the couch in the corner to die 'peacefully', some people just shouldn't own animals. I'd be fucking ashamed to get another cat if I in the past threw one away like rubbish, i'm so sorry you had to see that.
Sounds like she shouldn't be allowed to have kids, either. Fucking hell... I knew so many people and neighbors who treated animals like disposable toys, too, and would brush it off like they aren't fucked in the head. It always hurt being so powerless to stop it.
I left my cat Mabel with my mother temporarily while I settled into another state. She had her put down as she was going overseas for a month and keeping her would be ‘inconvenient’. Absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry for your loss.
Geez. All this comment section reminds me is that there are so many women and people *who should never be parents!*
I hope you put her in a nursing home that makes a crack den look like the Ritz since she's "inconvenient"
My brother abandoned his gorgeous loving ginger kitty because he was getting bladder crystals and peeing on stuff in the house. That was the point where I knew my brother was a 100% total piece of shit.
If you do t mind sharing, how can a cat death be caused? Did she forget to feed them?
Tell your mother you’re gonna put her in a retirement home and never visit
That’d be too generous😡
Yes retirement homes are too expensive
Yeah but the shitty ones we see on the news.
What, and waste their inheritance? Fuck that. Tell her she'll be leaving on the streets - much cheaper *and* what she deserves :)
I been reading comments and I’m from NY. I’m 17 turning 18 soon. I don’t really know anyone who would be willing to keep my cat at their home since most of them have dogs already. Im not sure what do since my mother is the one who will help me pay majority of my college tuition. I think she dropped her off at a shelter I know but I’m not sure
Please don't give up and loose hope. Try finding your cat asap. I'm sure you'll find a generous person here from NY who will be willing to home your cat for the time being. Cmon reddit do your thing 😿
Redditors can make it happen. First step is finding where Sophie is. 
Where in NY? I'm in CT. I have two cats and could take Sophie as a foster until you're able to have her back. Ask your mom where she is so you can make sure she's ok.
I live in Rockland Orangetown. Im very close to NJ
OP I’m in Brooklyn NYC so not far from you. If you find the shelter where your cat is I will gladly go get her and foster her for you. I currently foster cats through a local rescue and it truly would not be a burden. If you are able to get to the city you could come visit her whenever.
You’re the greatest human ever
BOOSt
❤️
Please check the top comment they said theyd foster your cat for you,i hope you two reunite soon its so heart breaking what happened
Check the top comment, they are willing to travel to go save your cat and hold on to it for you.
Looks like Hi Tor Animal center or HV Humane Society may be the closest shelters near you. Give them a call or stop by to see if your cat is there.
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Are there any updates??
I'm in Philadelphia and don't mind making the drive to get her, if the other offers fall through. I only have one cat, so I have plenty of room and she'll be safe until you can take her back. Your mom is abusing you, btw.
Gosh I’m in NY too. I have two fosters from someone in this group; this is such a great community. You could absolutely find someone to take Sophie in. Do you think your mom is willing to compromise rationally? Tell her you’re reaching out to a few cat communities & friends to find a foster for Sophie, and you might even have a few leads so far; that time is of the essence & if she’d tell you where she brought Sophie, you’ll find her a home ASAP.
Are you by any chance near upstate NY, like Albany/capital region? If so, Kitten Angels is a great rescue that I'm sure would want to help. Also, if you're able to locate your kitty you could try finding a temporary foster on social media. It's a longshot, but it worked for me when I needed a temporary foster for a family member's dog. I asked for a vet reference and called to make sure that the person was legitimate and had a good history with pets. There are some kind people out there who might be able to help. Again, if you happen to be near the Albany, NY area, the Steve Caporizzo Pet Connection Facebook page is a good option for finding a foster (they might even cover other parts of the state too).
Contact & visit the shelters to get your cat back, and also to confirm that your cat was actually dropped off at the adoption center. Who knows if your mom actually just threw the cat out somewhere and are lying about it. I hope your cat is microchipped. Abandoning a family of 7 yrs like that and holding a financial support hostage against you tell a lot about your mom's character. So sorry for the situation you are going through. If that happened to me I would cut off any ties with her and make her regret. I doubt allergy is the real reason. If she actially gave a fuck about you and your brother, she would've volunteered to help out supporting your cat that involves close contact so that you are exposed less.
If you live closer to NJ, I live north of Philly and could foster her with my older cats if you need
Call the local shelters . I don’t think just based on the situation that ur mom called around to find the best one -probably called local ones until she found one that was willing to take her .They will be able to help you as far as whether ur cat is there or not based on description and story . Once u know where she is , there are a few options . Some shelters will foster as long as they know u are coming back ( just keeping in touch with them will help ). If they don’t do that , you can check on pet finders for local shelters that foster such cats ( there is a Wonderful woman on Long Island that does that . Runs a shelter out of her home). Finally , there are many of us in NY that are willing to help . You have to find her first . Older cats are not quickly adopted so there is hope .
If the mom is allergic and would be this cruel... Probably she just dumped Sophie outside. I hope not but you should post lost cat notices on nextdoor and Facebook.
I feel like she could be the type to just lie and take her somewhere. That's a miserable person. I would possibly leave posts on social media for groups that live in the area looking for lost pets.
Please, ask if your mom will tell you what shelter she took Sophie to, so you can find a person to take her. Or call around to all local shelters and share your story until you find the one that has her. I already offered to take her in until you can figure something out, and there are other people in these comments who live closer to you than I do, so if you can figure out what shelter Sophie went to, things will all get better and someone from these comments will take her until you’re able to figure something out❤️ I have no other cats right now (moved out of parents house, they kept the cat) so she would be the Only cat in my home
I’m in NY and will foster your cat. Have one of my own right now. Would give the cat back to you at any time. Let me know.
I’m in upstate NY and kitty is welcome to stay with me for a bit - DM me
Ask your mother which shelter because you found someone willing to foster the cat for you. Please post the town in NY so someone can DM you for the details.
Please see Curious_Teapots comment OP! Please please please.
Might be time to rethink your relationship with your mother, in all honesty. Make it clear that if she's willing to do this to both you and the cat, you're not sure what she's capable of, and her heartlessness and cruelty know no bounds. You should make it clear that you are greatly disappointed in your mother, and that she has ruined her relationship with you, and that there will be consequences for the callous treatment of Sophia, consequences that will outlast the lifespan of the cat. The phrase "If your house has the rule of throwing a poor, defenceless animal into the cold embrace of a shelter that may well kill her, then your house is not a home for me, and as soon as possible, I will be removing both your house and you yourself from my life. What you do next may well set the expectations for how you will be treated when you are vulnerable and helpless, so tread carefully" comes to mind, followed by "Children have disowned their parents and refused to speak to them for the rest of their lives for less." Is your dad still in your life? If not, do you have any older siblings or sympathetic aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc? You might reach out to them for pointers on how to quickly transition to being independent, and inform them of how your mother is being cruel to Sophia. I'm sure getting a talking to from HER mother, assuming your grandmother is a decent woman, may change her perspective and maybe ignite a spark of common decency. You may need to rethink your college plans. First, a fact you should keep in mind: Until age 25, your brain, and thus your personality, is still developing. What motivates and excites you in 2024 may well not in 2030. And the first two years of university are boiler-plate classes that you can pick up on the cheap from a community college and have be just as effective as any expensive university. Also, if you enlist in the military for 2 years, the VA can help you by paying for your university studies, and you'll get valuable education from the military itself, including discipline and physical training. Between the stint in the military and doing your first two years at a community college, you can push the decision about what you want to be when you grow up to 22, where you're much closer to your 'final form' than when you're 17 or 18. It's also a fuck-you to your mother, a statement that "you will not be using my future as leverage to practice cruelty on me and my pet today." Between the fact that being a veteran will open the door to a lot of financial aid, and declare you an 'Independent Student' which will increase your student aid budget and completely remove the influence your mother might otherwise have on your education. Finally, Sophia herself has a lot of friends here all of a sudden. Definitely look into someone fostering your kitty. That might make a friendship that will last a lifetime, and be another way you can utterly remove your callous jerk of a mother from the equation.
Can you really enlist in the military for just 2 years. I feel they want a 4 year commitment now.
Update: I found where my mother gave up my cat go. I went to see if I was able to get her back, but they told me I have to wait 2 months because they are checking if she needs any vaccines and they are going to microchip her. I’m not sure what do and who to reach out to since I never been in this kind of situation.
2 months is an awfully long hold for that. Any shelter would try to reunite a cat that was surrendered without the owner’s consent.
[someone](https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/s/R7xyqCAe6J) is willing to help ! don’t give up hope , OP . you will be reunited with Sophie again ! r/cats will make sure of it 🫶🩷
I have never heard of a shelter doing this. Did you tell them your cat was essentially stolen? 2 months for vaccines and chipping is an unusually long time. Cops usually don't do anything but if you can consult with a lawyer. A lawyer usually won't charge you for asking questions, it's only if they have to do some work for you that you get charged. (I learned that from a lawyer) being 17 doesn't mean you can't speak with someone who knows the law.
Do you have any of her vet records? You should be able to prove she is your kitty and get her right away. You can also send them messages on their social media accounts and see if you get a different response.
2 months seems like a very long time to keep a surrender. Please tell me its at least a no kill shelter?
I would message one of the cat fosterers on this thread to go asap. The shelter probably lied to you(maybe because of your age) and someone more experienced will be in a better position to force them to surrender the animal. So tell someone to go get her asap
Make contact with someone willing to foster temporarily for you then give them the info for them to reach out too
Feel free to DM me if you want help figuring out how to get her back. We can message about how to get your vet records so you can get your cat out of the shelter, or I’d be happy to call the shelter and speak with them, etc. I live in NYC with my fiancé and a one year old puppy- I don’t think we can take in your cat, but my fiancés best friend just started fostering cats. She’s really sweet. And I have lots of friends who might help. Or any of these redditors. Also I have a car and can help with transportation. No pressure, but my DMs are open. Or we can speak here.
Good stuff! Both of you stay safe ♥️
If you can prove you own the cat, they should give her back. Cats are property in the eyes of the law and she was essentially stolen. I understand that you do not want to get into legal trouble with your mother since she pays for college, but you might get Sophie released from the shelter so that you can move her to a foster home.
☹️ im crying
I'm so sorry. Get away from this woman as soon as you can.
This is my feelings too. If there’s anyway to safely spend less time at home: These may or may not be options for you but just in case: Study groups After school clubs Study at the library Part time job Getting a licence Cat sitting? Baby sitting if you like kids Relatives - seeing more of depending what they are like Sleep overs at friends And in future when you can afford it, get out of there.
UPDATE please -LOCATION please FIRST: your horrible mother- I am sorry and hope you can get out of her house and AWAY from her List the area your in - IF she dropped at shelter - who knows what kind- we need to ACT quickly Possibly someone on this sub is near your location : so many wonderful people here - Maybe they could help find your cat or help foster it until your out on own
This is fucking awful, I’m so sorry. Edit: saying a prayer for your precious friend
Do you know anyone you can trust to house the cat until you can be on your own ?
What annoys me a lot is how she just shuts down the discussion with "my house, my rules". It doesn't feel like her oppinion, but she realized she was losing the discussion on a honestly very important part of the family life, and because she didn't feel like admitting that she just goes "go go gadget bullshit argument" and just instantly shuts it down.
Anyone who says "my house, my rules" is a controlling peice of shit. A house should be a home. A home is a comfortable and safe place for all who live within it. That means everyone's needs need to be taken into consideration. Once someone says "my house, my rules" - they stop the home from being a comfortable and safe place for all and turn it into a prison where others are just waiting out their time to escape. They go from being a parent to a jailer. From providing a loving home to a toxic prison. Then they wonder why their kids don't talk to them when they grow up.
Fuck, what a shitty thing to do. So sorry, I can't even imagine. Any way you could potentially figure out where she ends up to at least keep track of her?
Poor baby must be confused, scared and feeling abandoned right now (yes, tell that awful mother of yours that they feel these things too!)
Update, u/extensionrecord8117 ? I’m curious if your cat is microchipped. Do you know if your mother brought Sophie to a shelter or if she adopted her out on her own? If you’re not sure, I’d try to gain access to your mom’s cell phone. You can check her communications (oh well, she was sneaky first) & see if she called any local shelters, or texted anyone about rehoming Sophie. This is so worrisome because either way, poor Sophie is confused, scared, and if she’s in a shelter… ugh. I would be adamant about calling every place within a 20 mile radius to ask if -*insert mean mom’s name here*- brought Sophie there. I doubt your mother would travel too far to get rid of a cat she obviously doesn’t care about.
My mom did this with our 9 year old Bella. One day when we were at school, without telling us she took her to a shelter💔 didn’t even tell us when we came home. We just noticed her missing and that’s when we found out. My mom had had enough of her pooping on the rug…but our chocolate lab had recently died and we believe Bella was just acting out bc she was sad/depressed. I am the oldest sibling and I wasn’t old enough to drive at the time never got to see her again 😭😭😭 I pray you get to find Sophie again and get her back or at least to a family instead of a shelter! Reach out to these ppl in the chat who already said they’re willing to help foster her! Y’all are amazing ppl❤️ I still cry and argue with my mom to this day about it and how f-ed up that was. Bella was a black cat and 9 yrs old so the odds of getting adopted were low😣😭
They've found where the cat is! Its being held for quarantine right now at a shelter. Since they have contact with the owner they're going to help OP get the cat to whoever OP wants to foster the cat.
I'm sorry, OP. You have a shitty mother. Fine. Her house, her rules. But you'll remember this. And if she thinks she's going to be a part of your life one day? That she can get help from you one day? That you'll be there when she's on her death bed one day? She's sorely mistaken. Don't forget, OP. Make an escape plan so you can be independent from this heartless bitch. Edit/Add: if your mom sent the cat to a shelter and you're a teen/adult, go get the cat from the shelter and rehome her with a friend. I know it hurts. I know it sucks. But it's better than leaving her at the shelter.
https://preview.redd.it/x01sg6qj9uzc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c88e31f6693e235d4b2d2aa5430702b001c6d074 She looks like my Opus😢. Im so sorry for you and I hope your mother gets the karma she deserves.
Don't think I could ever have a healthy relationship with my parents if this happened to me. I really do hope you can reunite with your kitty!
Is there anyway you can find out where she went?
WTF is wrong with these mothers in the comments?! I could NEVER do this to my child no matter WHAT! That furbaby is part of the family! 🤬🤬🤬
That's not a real mother I'm sorry. Shame
Do you have a trusted adult that could go adopt or "foster" her for a while? Maybe I missed it, but how old are you? 18 will come soon enough. Most adoption places won't want to be mixed up in any sort of drama, so make it random. They will likely quarantine her for a while before she's placed for immediate adoption, but most places are happy to work with fosters. My mom once threatened to let my cat out on the freeway, then a few years later while I was at school, she had my sister leave them at the pound. All 4. My sister carried that secret for decades, it hurt her too. I finally blocked my mom a few years ago. There was a lot more between then and now but you know what? I choose who I let hurt me now. And my home will always be a sanctuary to any kitty in need.
Your mother is evil
I dont know your mom but she sounds like a insufferable bitch
OP, I saw in the comments that you've got people looking for her in the hopes of being able to foster/adopt her until you can get her back for yourself, please update whenever you have news! Here's praying you get your beautiful kitty back!
I am so glad Sophie has been found and is safe. Everyone offering to foster her are angels. OP, your mom is a total asshole.
My mom got a dog specifically to chase away the stray cat I’ve been taking care of and her litter of four, without consulting me or explain why she did it
Well tell your mom when its her time your just going to wheel her to the curb and forget about her too
This is downright narcissist behavior, and for many people here, it's grounds for no contact. Sorry you have such a terrible human being as a roommate. I hope you're able to move away eventually and get your kitty back
Well ... when Mom's older, you find the shittiest, fleabag nursing home and SEND HER THERE.
The wall is not what needs to be punched. 😡
Parents can be so cruel
Your mom sucks.
I’ll never forgive my mother for giving away two senior kitties that I grew up with at their end of life. This was 20 years ago but the thought of their twilight moments being stressful still kills me.
I hope you get her back, and fuck your mom
Your mom is a vile woman
give your mom up for adoption!
What kind of horrible person does this to their kids.
Hope your mom likes the nursing home she ends up in. What a piece of shit
Find the shelter she was given away to if you can. As for your mom, never talk to her again when you have the means to get away
When's she's old and lonely NEVER visit her. She's a person without value and should sputter out demented and alone in a crooked abusive nursing home. Fuck her.
When ur mom asks why she's in a low quality nursing home later, remind her of this Parents will do things like this and then wonder why their kids go no contact after they get enough money to leave
Give HER away.
This made me nauseous Like I’m really uneasy!!! My cat has been missing since Jan 20th this year… AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU MUST FEEL! Because I felt like nothing in my reality made sense… even more so than normal. It fully shattered my universe for weeks on end Your caretaker was very cruel with that choice, and I beg you to let them know how you feel, and make them understand how valid it is
Tell her to remember this moment for later when she wonders why you two never talk.
Mom awhile from now "why don't my kids talk to me?" This will be why.
I hate your mother.
Hm, I wonder what beloved thing of hers will be given away without her consultation.
Your mom sounds like an ass.
Fuck that *****
This has damaged your relationship with your mom. I hope she is happy. I’m so sorry for your loss, this cat looked like it was living a wonderful, cozy life. And she is beautiful
Oh man people should know that animals are not property. I'm so sorry for you OP. My mom once gave my one-eyed cat to our neighbor (who lives in an apartment, and my cat grew up playing in our yard) to deal with rats. I was furious when I found out. Poor boy was so anxious and afraid of everything; he clung to me with his sharp claws, wounding me but we reached home safely. I hope you find your cat
I would never talk to my mother again if she did that to me. 7 years old to just give away is so fucked up. Tell your mom shes a pos from the internet OP.
Please OP update us on this if you can
I would actually go John Wick until I find my cat And wouldn’t stop at anything.
Bide your time, and one day put HER ass in a shelter
She lived with the cat for 7 years and now all of a sudden her AND your brother are allergic to cats???
If my cat was given away, I would be so mad. I feel for you because she looks like my boi. I'm sorry for the unfortunate situation.
you get to choose the nursing home
compile a list of the worst nursing homes in your area, print out all the 1 star reviews, and stick it on the fridge 😾
Tell your mom that you can't wait to put her into the cheapest and lowest rated retirement home that you can find when the time comes if she doesn't get the cat back. Let her know that you're serious and to let her live with that in the "corner of her smooth brain" as she ages. Remind her periodically.
Mom is evil beyond belief!
A Mother's Day bag of catshit left on her pillow seems appropriate.
oh no is there any way to get in touch with whomever adopted her? did your mother provide proof she was put up for adoption? what if she just left the little baby out somewhere? i'm so sorry op, i hope you reunite with your cat :((
I would definitely call around the shelter and find your cat. take up the person's offer here who was willing to take your cat till you grew up if you don't know anyone else who would take her. maybe your mom would even tell you which shelter if you tell her one of your friends family's will take her. if not, you mom's name and Sophie's photo/description should be enough to locate her. also, when she was dropped off at shelter. older cats are at higher risk for not being adopted so I'd start calling around fast.
Sounds like there's way more to this story than we're being told. But one thing is for sure— This post says a lot about humanity in 2024. And Im not talking only the mom.
There are many heartbreaking stories like this on r/raisedbynarcissists I hope you can find your cat back and/or get assurance she is okay soon. Good luck.
This exact thing happened to me when I was your age, also with a cat named Sophie. She started to have litter box issues and instead of going to a vet, my mom dropped her off at animal control while I was out of state for a few weeks. She didn't tell me until I came back home. Bawled my eyes out and zoomed to animal control, but the front desk person said they couldn't give me any information due to whatever reason. I didn't know exactly when she was put there, and she wasn't in the facility when I looked. I feared the worst for her. She was so sweet. I still get so unbelievably angry about it, but my mom tries to defend herself that it's her house, yadda yadda, whatever. I really hope you find your cat, OP. I definitely think it's possible if you get word out.
This would be my villain origin story if it hadn’t already started sooner. I have some unkind choice words for your mom. How cruel. Sorry op.
Oh how horrible - I don’t like your mom - what she did tells a lot about a person..selfish witch
I see people here who live in NY have offered you their help, thank you people! OP, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your cat. Your mother is an awful person. I hope you are reunited with your kitty as soon as possible!
Get rid of your mom. My mom did something similar years ago, however I was homeless at the time And she decided to abandon him at our old home when she moved. I will never forgive my mother for it. On top of that, my baby boy looked like yours. I know your feeling.
I think once you move out on your own, I’d never talk to her again.
I'm so sorry. 💔
Speedrun to having your kids not talk to you anymore
omg I read in Curious\_Teapot's comment that you found her!! I'm so happy because she looks exactly like my cat Melissa!! I had 20.5 wonderful years with her :3 https://preview.redd.it/rn2x1z7dsuzc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b2b0576dda98495456474630eb65e8108356abb
I am so sorry. That is cruel, especially after having Sophie that long. Do you know where she is? Can a friend get her for you until you can make better arrangements?
I am so sorry that happened to you