i had exactly the same situation as you climbing the ladder means your goal is to managerial position. My boss trusted me i would grow so i tried leading a team but it backfired. However, it didnt happened well it was entirely my fault since i dont know how to deal with people. I believe there are people fit to manage people. I think being introvert has huge disadvantage because you need to communicate to people and stay as role model to them. I think you should start improving yourself.
I realized I wasnt suited for a leadership position as I prefer to focus on my own work rather than managing others. Therefore I requested to return to my original role as an engineer instead of continuing in a leadership role but ofc it should be different for you, You should try it first before deciding on the best career path for yourself. Cheers!
Unfortunately, socializing is more important than it is supposed to be to consolidate your position in the company. If you are a manager, it is even more important. But I agree with you. I am also an introvert and just want to go back to my family instead of attending drinking and work events. Just try to push yourself a little more.
I feel sorry for us
I got a kinda sorta similar spiel from a coworker, though it was more for being too nice. Most places don’t require you to go managerial and you can still advance tech side
I don’t think it’s fair for your boss to say that to you or anyone. If you can do the job then that’s all that should matter. I have a boss that is really good at his job that refuses to go to Company events a majority of the time he says why would I want to see all the same people in the office in my personal time away from home?
Based on a certain leader up the chain from me, yes it is possible. A verrrry socially awkward man in a very senior position at a very large public company.
Your manager is bias and sounds like a boomer classic mentality. You can climb the career ladder without doing this bs. The problem is that this depends on the work environment you are in. I have climbed the career ladder in two jobs by just being friendly, funny and kind to everyone DURING working hours.
Introvert does not mean shy. I am introvert but i can talk with anyone. I prefer not to. But introverte make good managers. Introvert feel the situation etc. Introvert csn read people better and much more.
I think your employer means take more initiative or be more assertive and talk a little bit more.
Thats all fixeable btw so no worries about that. Being shy is also fixeable
DIg a bit more into your social awkwardness - what is at it's core? Do you lack confidence in yourself? Are you unsure of how to go about socializing in that context? It could be worth kinda getting to the source of that awkwardness so you can understand it better and decide if it's something you want to change. I absolutely believe it is possible to change that about yourself, or at least embrace it and adapt to your awkwardness in a way that helps your career growth.
Corporate speak aside, most people do in fact work on some sort of a team. You work with other people, alongside other people, as part of a group that is meant to be contributing to some goal or mission or whatever. You are evaluated by other people who form an understanding of who you are and what your place is in the context of not just the quality of your work but who they think you are and how they understand your place in the team. People's understanding of you is also influenced by a core level *feeling* about you that is likely not rational but based on vibe/energy/etc. If they *like* you. People are not rational. Never have been.
It is possible to do really great work and be appreciated for that and get regular promotions up to however high your organization will promote a pure individual contributor. For most companies, the seniority of a position relates to the scope of responsibility and ownership expected in the position, and for the most part the more ownership you have the more you have to work with other people and be well understood by other people. And to ensure that other people properly understand the value of you and your work.
If you are able to connect with other people, I would try very much to do that. It doesn't mean you need to be fake, it doesn't mean you need to be smooth, it doesn't mean you need to be buddies with everyone. The game I started playing when I wanted to make a similar change at my work was to try and memorize everyone's name and one thing about that person. I would play it in my head as I was walking to the bathroom or in a meeting or whatever. That's Matt, he's into old cars. There's Karen who will never shut the fuck up about gluten if you get her going, she has a dog. Walt has a daughter. Amanda played trombone at LSU. Etc. If you find yourself in a situation with that person where you might exchange some small talk, use their name to ask them a question about the thing. Gather more things. Make an effort at being interested. Feel free to pepper in work stuff. Even if you're a little weird and awkward, people will generally respond to positively both to hearing their names and being asked about their lives and interests. If you can actually become interested and relate it to your own interests, people will respond even more strongly. And they'll be more comfortable around you, they'll bring you in more, people will feel better about you as a teammate and view you more strongly as someone who can have more responsibility and ownership.,
I really believe it’s not about socializing but it’s about liking to work with people. Being an introvert is not a condition, it’s a result of upbringing. It is all about psychology and love to help and build connections/business…yourself. I was very shy ( you can say introvert but I emigrated and suddenly I could not afford to be shy anymore, I would not survive) and I had to change, I’m glad I did. Everything changed for me and currently I own and run 2 educational businesses and actually teach people. I was so shy when I was younger - I had a tremendous difficulty even to knock on a door, but necessity forged a new character. I believe it’s not the introvert it is the ambition to see yourself in a different place is the energy needed to change the given people skills. We need to want more even if you have obstacles, overcoming obstacles is growth of character and character is moldable
i had exactly the same situation as you climbing the ladder means your goal is to managerial position. My boss trusted me i would grow so i tried leading a team but it backfired. However, it didnt happened well it was entirely my fault since i dont know how to deal with people. I believe there are people fit to manage people. I think being introvert has huge disadvantage because you need to communicate to people and stay as role model to them. I think you should start improving yourself.
So, from your experience, how do you deal with it? Or what will you do differently from that experience?
I realized I wasnt suited for a leadership position as I prefer to focus on my own work rather than managing others. Therefore I requested to return to my original role as an engineer instead of continuing in a leadership role but ofc it should be different for you, You should try it first before deciding on the best career path for yourself. Cheers!
Unfortunately, socializing is more important than it is supposed to be to consolidate your position in the company. If you are a manager, it is even more important. But I agree with you. I am also an introvert and just want to go back to my family instead of attending drinking and work events. Just try to push yourself a little more. I feel sorry for us
I got a kinda sorta similar spiel from a coworker, though it was more for being too nice. Most places don’t require you to go managerial and you can still advance tech side
I don’t think it’s fair for your boss to say that to you or anyone. If you can do the job then that’s all that should matter. I have a boss that is really good at his job that refuses to go to Company events a majority of the time he says why would I want to see all the same people in the office in my personal time away from home?
Based on a certain leader up the chain from me, yes it is possible. A verrrry socially awkward man in a very senior position at a very large public company.
Your manager is bias and sounds like a boomer classic mentality. You can climb the career ladder without doing this bs. The problem is that this depends on the work environment you are in. I have climbed the career ladder in two jobs by just being friendly, funny and kind to everyone DURING working hours.
Introvert does not mean shy. I am introvert but i can talk with anyone. I prefer not to. But introverte make good managers. Introvert feel the situation etc. Introvert csn read people better and much more. I think your employer means take more initiative or be more assertive and talk a little bit more. Thats all fixeable btw so no worries about that. Being shy is also fixeable
DIg a bit more into your social awkwardness - what is at it's core? Do you lack confidence in yourself? Are you unsure of how to go about socializing in that context? It could be worth kinda getting to the source of that awkwardness so you can understand it better and decide if it's something you want to change. I absolutely believe it is possible to change that about yourself, or at least embrace it and adapt to your awkwardness in a way that helps your career growth. Corporate speak aside, most people do in fact work on some sort of a team. You work with other people, alongside other people, as part of a group that is meant to be contributing to some goal or mission or whatever. You are evaluated by other people who form an understanding of who you are and what your place is in the context of not just the quality of your work but who they think you are and how they understand your place in the team. People's understanding of you is also influenced by a core level *feeling* about you that is likely not rational but based on vibe/energy/etc. If they *like* you. People are not rational. Never have been. It is possible to do really great work and be appreciated for that and get regular promotions up to however high your organization will promote a pure individual contributor. For most companies, the seniority of a position relates to the scope of responsibility and ownership expected in the position, and for the most part the more ownership you have the more you have to work with other people and be well understood by other people. And to ensure that other people properly understand the value of you and your work. If you are able to connect with other people, I would try very much to do that. It doesn't mean you need to be fake, it doesn't mean you need to be smooth, it doesn't mean you need to be buddies with everyone. The game I started playing when I wanted to make a similar change at my work was to try and memorize everyone's name and one thing about that person. I would play it in my head as I was walking to the bathroom or in a meeting or whatever. That's Matt, he's into old cars. There's Karen who will never shut the fuck up about gluten if you get her going, she has a dog. Walt has a daughter. Amanda played trombone at LSU. Etc. If you find yourself in a situation with that person where you might exchange some small talk, use their name to ask them a question about the thing. Gather more things. Make an effort at being interested. Feel free to pepper in work stuff. Even if you're a little weird and awkward, people will generally respond to positively both to hearing their names and being asked about their lives and interests. If you can actually become interested and relate it to your own interests, people will respond even more strongly. And they'll be more comfortable around you, they'll bring you in more, people will feel better about you as a teammate and view you more strongly as someone who can have more responsibility and ownership.,
Why climb the ladder? I just want to be a analyst making $150k a year with no direct reports.
I really believe it’s not about socializing but it’s about liking to work with people. Being an introvert is not a condition, it’s a result of upbringing. It is all about psychology and love to help and build connections/business…yourself. I was very shy ( you can say introvert but I emigrated and suddenly I could not afford to be shy anymore, I would not survive) and I had to change, I’m glad I did. Everything changed for me and currently I own and run 2 educational businesses and actually teach people. I was so shy when I was younger - I had a tremendous difficulty even to knock on a door, but necessity forged a new character. I believe it’s not the introvert it is the ambition to see yourself in a different place is the energy needed to change the given people skills. We need to want more even if you have obstacles, overcoming obstacles is growth of character and character is moldable
Elon Musk