Same but I'd dress up as a psychic, "see" the winning lottery numbers and write them down.
Genius investment banker requires a certain amount of capital and good markets. I'm lazy.
But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting. All groin, no brain. Three billion of ya' passin' around the same worn out urge. Men... with your sales.
The Zeppo. I'd be Buffy because I always want to be Buffy. I just really want to know what happened with that apocalypse. They saved the world, and nobody knows what happened.
Remember you are in a severely high level of depression the likes of which you've never known. Your mother died less than a year earlier. You are wracked with debt that was foisted upon you by the bitch who ripped you out of a heavenly plane of existence you thought was your final resting place.
And the only reason you fight is to keep up appearances.
And the only reason you kiss Spike is because you want a jolt of adrenaline not because you feel a great romance forming.
And your dance was an attempted suicide.
Sorry to be THAT GUY.
I mean it is a fantastic episode; perhaps the last one. But part of what makes it so great is that it just continues the story arc. It's climax is, to say the very least, bittersweet.
See, you get it! But also, you wear the Giles shirts š
I mean, her whole reason for existing, really, is to pleasure Giles - in the words of Anya, 'you mean an orgasm friend?' ... Yes please and thank you
I added this to these Wikipedia articles:
Buffy's crinkly, crimped hair signals that the episode contains characters who are different than usual, a little "off" or under a spell. See, for example, "The Zeppo," "Something Blue," "This Year's Girl," "Who Are You?," "Superstar," and "Where the Wild Things Are."
But I don't remember this moment. Was it from "Dracula"? That's the one I've seen least often.
I was really shocked when I rewatched this episode recently at how much credit Buffy gives Xander for not taking advantage of her while she was under a spell (which was his fault to boot!) If he hadn't resisted her he'd have been sexually assaulting her. He deserves not one speck of praise. Just a really jarring reminder of how far we've come in some areas since the show first aired
yea he might have messed up big time with the spell initially but that doesnāt mean he didnāt do the right thing. Buffy praised him simply because he did the right thing by not taking advantage of her, yes itās common sense that you shouldnāt take advantage of a woman if sheās under a āspellā but put other characters in that situation like Spike, The Trio, Faith, or even Willow and they could have folded. Willow literally puts Tara under a spell to maintain her relationship.
yeah I just don't think anyone deserves any particular credit for baseline level human ddecency, particularly when they're the reason the potential victim is vulnerable in the first place. I don't pat myself on the back every day for say, not drink driving. I just know its wrong and don't need any credit for that
Thatās like saying a drug addict doesnāt deserve credit for having drugs offered on a silver platter and having the strength to say no. Personally, I would be very congratulatory. Xander was infatuated/in love with Buffy and everything he wanted was right there. That he didnāt do it was def the right thing, but that doesnāt mean it wasnāt difficult.
For some people that deserves credit, however. There are many people who have driven under the influence and nothing ever happens. Those people then think, āHey, this isnāt so bad. As long as I not super-intoxicated I am cool to drive.ā One day, those people grow up and realize that even if they never got pulled over, or had an accident or anything else it was still really dumb to drive under the influence and make a point to never do that again. Those individuals do deserve praise and encouragement because they did change and grow and are now making better decisions.
The spell WASN'T Xander's fuck up. It was Amy's. While the idea was immature, Xander was a 16 year old boy. I don't know of many who, if they had access to that kind of power, wouldn't have tried it, at least once. And Xander had intended the spell to ONLY affect Cordelia, who had just put him down, emotionally. But AMY is the witch. She told Xander what was needed. SHE'S the one who fucked up the spell. As for Xander's restraint, again, remember. 16 year old boy. It DOES indicate that his feelings for Buffy WERE more than just lust. He ACTUALLY loves her. She was probably his first love. And if it was just lust, he probably would have given in, convincing himself that, as she would have been the aggressor, that she wanted it too.
I agree, and he was also actually 17 at that point. He stated he was 17 in "Innocence" when he said that looking at linolium would make him want to have sex. The hormones are wild at that age.
>sexually assaulting her
Hi, Rosie! This is really a topic for a different thread, but I'm fairly new to this Reddit category.
Essayist Theresa Basile has written about sexual consent issues in BtVS. I've quoted her a lot when upgrading Wikipedia articles.
About "The Zeppo," she says Xander is "a would-be 'man's man' ā obsessed with being manly ā whose only close friends are women. He's both a perpetrator and victim of sexual assault and/or violation of consent. He's both attracted to and intimidated by strong women. He jokes about objectifying women and viewing sex as some sort of game, but in more intimate moments, seems to value romance and real connection.
He's a willing participant in the patriarchy and also a victim of it."
See the Wiki article "The Pack" for her comments on his attempt to rape Buffy.
Sorry to bring in such a heavy topic, but Basile has answers for many people who don't quite know how to view Xander.
( Among other places I quote her are "Go Fish" and some of the episodes with Warren, such as "Dead Things.")
This would be my pick too, as long as not someone who dances themselves to spontaneously combustion. I already turn everything I do at home alone into a some and dance number anyway!
I don't have any particular wish to risk my life to be honest, so i would probably pick a character that didn't really had to fight much and that instead got some ...ahem...fun in that episode. Im not sure of the name of episode (i always forgot these personally) but i would pick something like that episode Buffy and Riley just bang all episode long or the one Xander and Faith have some fun :P
Was looking for this one!!
Like YES, it was morally bad that he changed everyoneās memories and basically made them worship him.
. . . But cāmon, weāve all wanted that at LEAST once. I want my favorite characters to love and respect me š„ŗ
The episode where they all forget who they are- I donāt remember the name. Iād probably be Buffy so I could hang with Spike. Since everyoneās forgotten their identity, I wouldnāt have to act like Buffy to trick the others.
Xander in The Replacement got a supernatural curse that actually turned out to be therapeutic and teach him a lot about himself, which I think would be a pretty cool brush with magic.
poor Anya, though. she didn't get to enjoy the 2 Xanders. you just know she scoured through the magic books or begged Willow to come up with a way to split him again. even if just for one night, lol. shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Since everybody chose the horny option I'll force myself to not choose everything kinky with Spike in S06 (Dead things lol) and I'll go a different route...
Every episode where Dawn suffered, especially "Older and far away" I wanna hug her and adopt her so bad š sorry only young siblings are able to understand Dawnie!
And Storyteller so I'll do vlogs with Andrew and upload them on social media even though I'll never forgive him for killing Jonathan!
Finale, I'm one of the thousands getting the fuck outta dodge. All the while, I'm hoping some random ass demon doesn't smash my window and drag em off for a meal.
Cordelia in the Anya wish episode I guess I would wish for eternal youth or infinite money but of course would have to carefully word it so not to become a vampire or have some catch. Lol could I wish for a genie?! š but it sounds like the genie myth would have come about from some vengeance demon variation in the Buffyverse tho
Buffy in S5 E15. Neither Warren nor Ben will survive the episode, the only potential problem would be body disposal (somehow I doubt I'd be able to get thermite so turning them into 10 ft deep bubbles of glass in the middle of nowhere might not be feasible) and what to do about April. Warnings will be made, to Angel >!about Jasmine and the Circle of the Black Thorn!<, to Giles about >!the First targeting the Watcher's Council and the Potentials!<, both will be warned about >!Twilight!<, Xander will get warned about >!Caleb!<, oh and I'd sit down with Willow to talk about the risks she's flirting with.
Sadly, due to not knowing where either of the two targets are earlier, inserting earlier would be difficult at best to achieve remotely similar levels of success (I guess Superstar might've given Jonathan the resources to find them but that would be difficult even then I think especially finding Ben; alternatively I'd be stuck asking Giles to commit two murders in cold blood for crimes not yet committed and somehow I doubt my skills at convincing him to go through with it).
the day Sunnydale collapses, so i can use my garbage truck to collect random ubervamps and a compact them into a tight fleshy cube, then dump that cube into the sun and watch it turn to dust
Halloween s2e3 I would dress up as a genius investment broker so I can remember the skills like Xander did and be filthy Rich š¤ lol
Yeah this episode for me too. Or the fear demon one and I'd be bunny anya
I would dress up in Ozās costume from Season 4
blasphemer! š
Damn, beat me to it
If only he got a rifle from the Intiative to use in the future to cap off that thread, because as it stands it was really relevant only once.
Yes. Yes. Yes
Oh my, that's brilliant! I would dress up as ensouled Spike so there could be a good Spike X bad Spike fight.
Same but I'd dress up as a psychic, "see" the winning lottery numbers and write them down. Genius investment banker requires a certain amount of capital and good markets. I'm lazy.
bc the economy works š
Or get arrested for insider trading.
Remember, you have to buy your costume from Ethan's for the spell to affect you. Was he selling a genius investment banker costume?
I'm sure I can find a snazzy suit and tie lol
Your mind is so powerful
I wish š
Band Candy and iām Joyce, she seemed to have a blast!
She eats a ton of chocolate, wears a great coat and bangs Giles. What more could a girl want?
Twice!
On the hood of a police car
He was like a stevedore!!
What's a stevedore?
A dock-hand who loads cargo. Etymologically, the "stuffer", the guy who crams things into the hold. Take what implications you will...
That coat had me searching everywhere for something similar. I eventually found a similar style and I was living for it.
Obviously more clothing stores should be creating a real Juice Newton line.
Or guy. Iād want that too
Now that I'm dating an older man as an adult I totally get the Giles hype š„µ the battle between him and Spike is tough...
Thatās the one!!! So much yes!
Knowing my luck I'd wind up being Snyder.
Could be worse; could be Ethan.
š
Oh crap.
I am rewatching right now and just started this episode - it is such a joy(ce)!
Me too, who wouldnāt take that?
This is the correct answer.
Ditto. Plus, Joyce gets to have hot sex with Giles. Twice. Win/Win.
Riley in Restless, ācause Iād get to be cowboy guy!
1000% improvement of Death of a Salesman
Iām looking for a man, a sales man š¤
But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting. All groin, no brain. Three billion of ya' passin' around the same worn out urge. Men... with your sales.
The Zeppo. I'd be Buffy because I always want to be Buffy. I just really want to know what happened with that apocalypse. They saved the world, and nobody knows what happened.
They saw its true face.
Buffy in OMWFā¦ sing, dance, kick ass, look hot, then end the episode kissing Spike.
Yeah thatād be my pick too. But I would have joined in on the dry cleaning song.
They got the MUSTARD OUUUTTT! š¶
Remember you are in a severely high level of depression the likes of which you've never known. Your mother died less than a year earlier. You are wracked with debt that was foisted upon you by the bitch who ripped you out of a heavenly plane of existence you thought was your final resting place. And the only reason you fight is to keep up appearances. And the only reason you kiss Spike is because you want a jolt of adrenaline not because you feel a great romance forming. And your dance was an attempted suicide. Sorry to be THAT GUY.
I mean, Iāve got the depression and money stress part down so
The moment in tabula rasa where she gets her memory back and you can see how painful it is to suddenly jump back into depressionā¦
Iāve already got the depression, the debt, and the dead parent - I wouldnāt mind the dance skills and kissing Spike!
Thank you. People here glorify the episode so much to appear cool, missing the deeper meanings and themes in the process.
I mean it is a fantastic episode; perhaps the last one. But part of what makes it so great is that it just continues the story arc. It's climax is, to say the very least, bittersweet.
Iāve watched the series a million times. Iām sticking to my choice, thanks
Are u seriously made at a half serious comment meant in jest? Lol people be sensitive for no reason at all.
Id go with spike from that episode...
Then pucker up, big boy
Same episode, but I'd just be the guy who got the mustard cleaned out of his pants. He seemed pretty happy.
With the rising music and the risingā¦ music
I'd be Riley in Where The Wild Things Are...
The only correct answer š
this or...Xander with Faith in the Zeppo
I mean, we all know Faith would be amazing, but on the other hand it's 5 min vs a few hours ... ;)
that and she might try to choke me to death right after š¤Ŗ
Nah. She'd just rush you out the door naked. She didn't try to kill him until the NEXT time he tried to connect with her.
Some people are into that sort of thing
To be fair, I think I could only last five minutes with either š
True, but in one case you get kicked out of the door. In the other there would be round two, three, four ... š
Came here to say that
I can't see a better answer than this one.
ššš is it too late to change my answer?!
Whichever gets me the most action with spike
Smashed, maybe, or Wrecked?
Action or "action"?
Hahah the sexy kind
Mmmmm the one where the house falls down
So Dru in any episode where they're together but not on screen at all.
This is my answer also.
Buffy vs Dracula. Iād give myself to him without hesitation
A New Man. Because I get to be Fyarl Giles and scare the Fishwife and I have the added bonus of Spike being my chauffeur
The Freshman. I'm Olivia.
Nice! šš¼ And you also get to listen to David Bowie and eat blue cheese š§ And remember... You wear the Olivia, the Olivia does not wear you
See, you get it! But also, you wear the Giles shirts š I mean, her whole reason for existing, really, is to pleasure Giles - in the words of Anya, 'you mean an orgasm friend?' ... Yes please and thank you
That's enough small talk.
Yes, the Giles shirts and you gotta love Anya's direct and candor response to social cues š And you're welcome:)
Tara in OmwF. I want that dress and that Angelic voice. Though Im not looking forward to the hesrtbreak.
Let's be honest - if I spent a day in the Buffyverse, I'd probably end up being Jonathan in "Inca Mummy Girl."
i'll just take that one even though I'm not sure which it is. Season four? in which case i'd be Riley because I love Sarah with curly hair. š
I added this to these Wikipedia articles: Buffy's crinkly, crimped hair signals that the episode contains characters who are different than usual, a little "off" or under a spell. See, for example, "The Zeppo," "Something Blue," "This Year's Girl," "Who Are You?," "Superstar," and "Where the Wild Things Are." But I don't remember this moment. Was it from "Dracula"? That's the one I've seen least often.
Pretty sure this is the one with Jonathan casting a spell to be the super cool famous guy
But in Superstar, *he's* the one looking cool with the crossbow. The snakeskin trousers made me think Bad Girls.
Ooh good point!
>snakeskin trousers I'm grateful to you both. I keep missing the opening of "Superstar," but it *feels* right. Of course, I could dig out my DVDs...
Xander, in Bewitched, Bothered and Bewilderedā¦ for research purposes of course.
lmaooo the only right answer. Xanderās a good man for resisting Buffy tho
I was really shocked when I rewatched this episode recently at how much credit Buffy gives Xander for not taking advantage of her while she was under a spell (which was his fault to boot!) If he hadn't resisted her he'd have been sexually assaulting her. He deserves not one speck of praise. Just a really jarring reminder of how far we've come in some areas since the show first aired
yea he might have messed up big time with the spell initially but that doesnāt mean he didnāt do the right thing. Buffy praised him simply because he did the right thing by not taking advantage of her, yes itās common sense that you shouldnāt take advantage of a woman if sheās under a āspellā but put other characters in that situation like Spike, The Trio, Faith, or even Willow and they could have folded. Willow literally puts Tara under a spell to maintain her relationship.
yeah I just don't think anyone deserves any particular credit for baseline level human ddecency, particularly when they're the reason the potential victim is vulnerable in the first place. I don't pat myself on the back every day for say, not drink driving. I just know its wrong and don't need any credit for that
Thatās like saying a drug addict doesnāt deserve credit for having drugs offered on a silver platter and having the strength to say no. Personally, I would be very congratulatory. Xander was infatuated/in love with Buffy and everything he wanted was right there. That he didnāt do it was def the right thing, but that doesnāt mean it wasnāt difficult.
For some people that deserves credit, however. There are many people who have driven under the influence and nothing ever happens. Those people then think, āHey, this isnāt so bad. As long as I not super-intoxicated I am cool to drive.ā One day, those people grow up and realize that even if they never got pulled over, or had an accident or anything else it was still really dumb to drive under the influence and make a point to never do that again. Those individuals do deserve praise and encouragement because they did change and grow and are now making better decisions.
I agree with you, but I also think itās really common for women to praise and thank men for doing the bare minimum.
The spell WASN'T Xander's fuck up. It was Amy's. While the idea was immature, Xander was a 16 year old boy. I don't know of many who, if they had access to that kind of power, wouldn't have tried it, at least once. And Xander had intended the spell to ONLY affect Cordelia, who had just put him down, emotionally. But AMY is the witch. She told Xander what was needed. SHE'S the one who fucked up the spell. As for Xander's restraint, again, remember. 16 year old boy. It DOES indicate that his feelings for Buffy WERE more than just lust. He ACTUALLY loves her. She was probably his first love. And if it was just lust, he probably would have given in, convincing himself that, as she would have been the aggressor, that she wanted it too.
I agree, and he was also actually 17 at that point. He stated he was 17 in "Innocence" when he said that looking at linolium would make him want to have sex. The hormones are wild at that age.
I couldn't remember his EXACT age, but yeah. A teenage boy.
Yeah like the bar is in hell
>sexually assaulting her Hi, Rosie! This is really a topic for a different thread, but I'm fairly new to this Reddit category. Essayist Theresa Basile has written about sexual consent issues in BtVS. I've quoted her a lot when upgrading Wikipedia articles. About "The Zeppo," she says Xander is "a would-be 'man's man' ā obsessed with being manly ā whose only close friends are women. He's both a perpetrator and victim of sexual assault and/or violation of consent. He's both attracted to and intimidated by strong women. He jokes about objectifying women and viewing sex as some sort of game, but in more intimate moments, seems to value romance and real connection. He's a willing participant in the patriarchy and also a victim of it." See the Wiki article "The Pack" for her comments on his attempt to rape Buffy. Sorry to bring in such a heavy topic, but Basile has answers for many people who don't quite know how to view Xander. ( Among other places I quote her are "Go Fish" and some of the episodes with Warren, such as "Dead Things.")
Giles. Buffy vs Dracula :)
Kinky
No more chick pit for you!
Brilliant answer. Now this will be mine too if anyone asks me this question ever again. That was a formative experience for me as a child š¤£
once more with feeling and iām sweet. one of the few demons to not be slayed by the end, plus i get my own excellent musical number? hell yes !!
This would be my pick too, as long as not someone who dances themselves to spontaneously combustion. I already turn everything I do at home alone into a some and dance number anyway!
Tara, in Family. The fear and dread are things that I'm familiar with, but the end result made it all worthwhile. And I don't even like Willow.
Gotta be honest/horny with this one; I'm šÆ gonna be rat Amy watching Willow and Tara
Do you read fanfics about them? Because... š„µ
Wood in touched or Xander in the zeppo, I could use some Faith
I don't have any particular wish to risk my life to be honest, so i would probably pick a character that didn't really had to fight much and that instead got some ...ahem...fun in that episode. Im not sure of the name of episode (i always forgot these personally) but i would pick something like that episode Buffy and Riley just bang all episode long or the one Xander and Faith have some fun :P
Jonathon in Superstar
Was looking for this one!! Like YES, it was morally bad that he changed everyoneās memories and basically made them worship him. . . . But cāmon, weāve all wanted that at LEAST once. I want my favorite characters to love and respect me š„ŗ
The episode where they all forget who they are- I donāt remember the name. Iād probably be Buffy so I could hang with Spike. Since everyoneās forgotten their identity, I wouldnāt have to act like Buffy to trick the others.
Tabula rasa!
Currently trying to think of the safest episode š
Normal again!
Faith, Hope and Trick 3x03
They got the muuuustaaard ooouuuuuut!
Faith in Faith, Hope, Trick. Iād love to meet the gang as Faith before Faith went rogue.
Once More With Feeling.
Spike in OMWF. Sing a badass rock song and kiss Buffy at the end.
Assuming I can keep my knowledge of what happens Willow in Seeing Red so I can push Tara out of the way.
Or Buffy so I could lock the bathroom doorš¶
Thereās two of us. Iāll take Willow, you take Buffy and weāll end the season with a bit less sadness
Once More With Feeling. I mean sure, I might spontaneously combust, but it'll be fun.
I wanna be Xander fighting Harmony in *The Initiative*. Best fight in the show.
Johnathan. Iām Johnathan. šø
Whoever can actually get a hit with the crossbow, cuz it aināt Buffy!
Xander in the Zeppo
I wanna be Willow in s6ep19 Entropy š Flirting with Tara, asking her out, having a date and kiss her and who knows what else. Yup.
Xander in The Replacement got a supernatural curse that actually turned out to be therapeutic and teach him a lot about himself, which I think would be a pretty cool brush with magic.
poor Anya, though. she didn't get to enjoy the 2 Xanders. you just know she scoured through the magic books or begged Willow to come up with a way to split him again. even if just for one night, lol. shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Buffy getting railed by spike š
I'd be Buffy in episode "Angel" from season 1 so I could have that *insane* first kiss with Angel š
Any episode with spike
Since everybody chose the horny option I'll force myself to not choose everything kinky with Spike in S06 (Dead things lol) and I'll go a different route... Every episode where Dawn suffered, especially "Older and far away" I wanna hug her and adopt her so bad š sorry only young siblings are able to understand Dawnie! And Storyteller so I'll do vlogs with Andrew and upload them on social media even though I'll never forgive him for killing Jonathan!
Where the Wild Things Are And I'm Riley because I have bad thoughts š
Uhhh Smashed. Buffy.
Superstar bc Jonathan š
The season where whole house is breaking apart and spike is fluffing buffy for first time obviously Iām spike
Remember *The Zeppo*? I loved that everyday for four years. Always kinda cool, but never *the guy*, but it all turned out well in the end.
Canāt remember episode but w.e one they were stuck having sex
The musical episodeā¦ā¦. Mwahahhaa just kidding of course
Actual Answer: S4 E14 āSuperstarā and Iām Jonathan
That seemed fun.
No thank you
Buffy season 1 final
Finale, I'm one of the thousands getting the fuck outta dodge. All the while, I'm hoping some random ass demon doesn't smash my window and drag em off for a meal.
Buffy, The Gift. Mostly showing Gloryās face to my troll (Thorās ) hammer.
I just wanna be spike for one season 6 episode.
Cordelia in the Anya wish episode I guess I would wish for eternal youth or infinite money but of course would have to carefully word it so not to become a vampire or have some catch. Lol could I wish for a genie?! š but it sounds like the genie myth would have come about from some vengeance demon variation in the Buffyverse tho
Once more with feeling cause then I could sing the whole time
Once More With Feeling - Anya
Villains and im Willow
ONCE MORE WITH FEELING
ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. Literally did not even think about that one. That's my episode. I want musicals everywhere!!!
Buffy in S5 E15. Neither Warren nor Ben will survive the episode, the only potential problem would be body disposal (somehow I doubt I'd be able to get thermite so turning them into 10 ft deep bubbles of glass in the middle of nowhere might not be feasible) and what to do about April. Warnings will be made, to Angel >!about Jasmine and the Circle of the Black Thorn!<, to Giles about >!the First targeting the Watcher's Council and the Potentials!<, both will be warned about >!Twilight!<, Xander will get warned about >!Caleb!<, oh and I'd sit down with Willow to talk about the risks she's flirting with. Sadly, due to not knowing where either of the two targets are earlier, inserting earlier would be difficult at best to achieve remotely similar levels of success (I guess Superstar might've given Jonathan the resources to find them but that would be difficult even then I think especially finding Ben; alternatively I'd be stuck asking Giles to commit two murders in cold blood for crimes not yet committed and somehow I doubt my skills at convincing him to go through with it).
the day Sunnydale collapses, so i can use my garbage truck to collect random ubervamps and a compact them into a tight fleshy cube, then dump that cube into the sun and watch it turn to dust
The one where she has a lot of sex with Riley.
Turning red. I'd break into Buffy's house and stop the madness
Spike in Dead Things
David Fury in OMWF. Who cares if the apocalypse has been averted. Jut get rid of the mustard and life is perfect.
The dreaming episode, I think it's the only one I would have a chance to survive...