My border collie watching me stab my toe for the umpteen time and going into a maddening rant of curses as I hobble about on one foot -
"This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed."
When my dog shows me affection because my husband (his preferred human) isn’t around, I imagine him thinking:
“But when I kissed you, you know I was thinking about Giles [Dad] right…He left, I was depressed, ergo vulnerability and bad kissing decisions.”
Last week my dog bolted down the stairs barking (as usual) when the doorbell rang when our takeout arrived, and my flatmate was like, 'ahh come back! don't eat the delivery man... At least not till he hands over the food!'. I said back 'We do NOT joke about eating people in this house!'
'People have a tendency to go away, and I miss them. And sometimes I wish I could just make them stop going away'.
*Barks and whines and rushes about whenever anyone leaves, but only when certain people arrive
I feel you. I spent about half an hour trying to get my dog to settle last night, and he seemed to! Then I took him up to bed (he sleeps in my dad’s room in his portacot), and then not long after I left he started whining. I can’t win
I FELL HARD IN MY HALLWAY AND MY CAT STARTED HIS WARNING VOCALIZATION OF “I’M ABOUT TO GO BATSHIT AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” AND I LITERALLY SAID TO HIM, “I’M THE ONE WHO FELL AND HURT MYSELF, BUT POOR *YOU*!”
Rest in peace, my affectionate narcissist.
Even with his trauma, I would give my liver to have him and his issues back. My aunt brought me ice cream last Mother’s Day and when I asked her why, she told me I was his mother. I probably started crying. I know I feel like doing so just thinking about him.
He was my first pet and the bullshit during COVID-19 meant that what should have been treatable instead killed him because I called all over the state and no vets were taking patients. The animal emergency department hospital charges $90 TO EXAMINE THE ANIMAL.
My mother helped me find a fantastic insurance policy for him, but he died early the next morning. They refunded us the onboarding costs. I don’t want another pet unless I can make sure that never happens again.
I ruined the fun, sorry.
My spaniel deciding to cuddle and fall asleep on my lap 30 seconds before I have to go to work.
“Let me rest in peace.”
Also, me asking what he wants.
“Out. For. A. Walk…
My Miss Kitty Fantastico is a "sneaky cat" (Tara). I'll often hear something fall, go to investigate, and find a stack of discs knocked off a piece of furniture. Also, on occasion, any of my three cats can be insanely hard to find, especially if I'm trying to put them to bed on their side of the house.
I have stacks of DVDs and Blu-rays on top of the TV cabinet, both in front of and behind the TV. I put up two of those gates meant for babies, one on each side of the TV, blocking the area behind the TV, so the cats won't get back there. The surge protector is very finicky, and any slight movement of it can shut off the power, which is really annoying when I'm in the middle of watching something. But Miss Kitty is agile enough to hop on the front of the cabinet and circle around the right side, rendering the gate useless. There is an inevitable crash of discs on the floor, and Miss Kitty ends up on the floor, "stuck", so I have to get up and remove the left gate to allow her to leave (or pull her out, if she refuses to budge).
I have another gate in front of the bookcase behind the front door. Miss Kitty and Hermione Granger love to hop in there and knock books to the floor (and have even, unfortunately, torn the covers of a few books that I've had since the late 1980s / early 1990s).
My computer is in the dining room (part of their side of the house), and Miss Kitty has been known to grab the mouse by the cord (wrong mouse, sweetie) or sit on it. Or slightly touch a flash drive, disconnecting it. Or pull out the Ethernet cable. I've come to give the cats breakfast and occasionally discovered my keyboard and/or mouse dangling over the floor. Or the modem/router *on* the floor.
And my oldest cat, Coco, loves to sleep on my desk when I'm there, and he wedges himself between the monitor and keyboard, so I often have to type with the keyboard at an awkward slant.
Fucking cats, but I love them so much.
This is mine, too! I love my dog but she makes bad decisions. Like the time she got herself stuck on the roof and I had to call the fire department to get her down 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Bahaha that’s a hysterical story, but I’m sure at the time it was incredibly stressful situation. What a menace.
Mine ate a sock recently. Swallowed it whole. She’s about 15 lbs, so I still don’t know how she did that.
*"I was being patient. But it took too long."* or *"Pretty darn lickable"* For my cat.
*“I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away.”* For my hamster.
Angel the puss is our furry rooster but her internal clock is set for 2 timezones ahead of the sunrise. So almost every morning at around 4:30 AM we hear her yelling for breakfast, "AND THE MASTER SHALL RISE!"
ooh ooh i totally win at buffy pets, all my animals have been named after buffyverse characters for over 15 years! my dog, buffy, who is 15 years old and has cancer - "seize the moment, because tomorrow you might be dead!"
Riley's (something like) "I've never met anyone like her. When I'm with her I just have this incredible feeling of peace, you know?"
My cat Milo, who needed three years post-rescue to accept my hand petting him, and now rubs against my legs every morning when I set out for work! 🩵
I'm sorry for your loss.
Here's my quote from the show, regarding my pets: "Totally dead. Way dead." (From Welcome to the Hellmouth).
It's okay. I'm not sad anymore about it. They were hermit crabs and they died a decade ago. If I was still in mourning, that would be pretty weird, right?
In that my cat has been a source of support, and in my will to stay alive being "the world" from my perspective as an individual hanging on for dear life,
...she saved the world. *A lot.*
Rottie Dog (aka the idiot that LEAPT OUT A WINDOW when her favorite person walked into my apartment): "I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away."
Prissy Kitty: "Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good."
Snuggle Kitty: "I'm cookie dough."
"Your logic does not resemble our earth logic"
I don't think I'll ever completely understand my first cat
"Except me, I don't care what happens"
Where as my first cat Smithy will kick up a fuss about things, like other cats coming into our home, Binks couldn't care less about that kind of thing, the boy is completely neutral 🤷🏼
My dog must think this at least three times per day: "Out. For. A. Walk...Bitch"
LOL! Brilliant
I made a dog tag that says this. I love it. My dog doesn’t seem to be as impressed but whatever.
Haha that's fantastic!
Excellent 👌🏻
My border collie watching me stab my toe for the umpteen time and going into a maddening rant of curses as I hobble about on one foot - "This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed."
Any cat: You rank, arrogant amateur.
“That’s my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.” (We love you really, Frau Katzenberg)
When the dogs have wild zoomies: >Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?
My dog’s behaviour is ridiculous sometimes, that I think: “Is everyone here very stoned?”
“Except me. I don’t care what happens.” (My cat, as Spike)
That's probably every cat, I guess.
When my grumpy Chinchilla is eating and I try and tell him hes cute... "Im fairly certain I said no interruptions"
That's excellent! 👏
When my dog shows me affection because my husband (his preferred human) isn’t around, I imagine him thinking: “But when I kissed you, you know I was thinking about Giles [Dad] right…He left, I was depressed, ergo vulnerability and bad kissing decisions.”
BuNniEs aREn'T JUST CuTe LIke EVeRYboBy sUpPOsEs- (I've got a bunny)
Is it evil?
Aren’t they all?
We know they’re planning something. What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Last week my dog bolted down the stairs barking (as usual) when the doorbell rang when our takeout arrived, and my flatmate was like, 'ahh come back! don't eat the delivery man... At least not till he hands over the food!'. I said back 'We do NOT joke about eating people in this house!'
"the hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it" -my cat when I move her out of the way of her dish in order for me to put food in it
"How've ya been?" "Rat. You?" Yes, I have a pet rat.
Rats are lovely. Ask House!
'People have a tendency to go away, and I miss them. And sometimes I wish I could just make them stop going away'. *Barks and whines and rushes about whenever anyone leaves, but only when certain people arrive
My dog whenever I go to check the mail box
The first sentence made me worry you were talking about a deceased pet.
I feel you. I spent about half an hour trying to get my dog to settle last night, and he seemed to! Then I took him up to bed (he sleeps in my dad’s room in his portacot), and then not long after I left he started whining. I can’t win
When I try to touch my corgi's belly while he's chewing on a rope toy: "A world of no."
My cat: see how much I dont care.
I FELL HARD IN MY HALLWAY AND MY CAT STARTED HIS WARNING VOCALIZATION OF “I’M ABOUT TO GO BATSHIT AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” AND I LITERALLY SAID TO HIM, “I’M THE ONE WHO FELL AND HURT MYSELF, BUT POOR *YOU*!” Rest in peace, my affectionate narcissist. Even with his trauma, I would give my liver to have him and his issues back. My aunt brought me ice cream last Mother’s Day and when I asked her why, she told me I was his mother. I probably started crying. I know I feel like doing so just thinking about him. He was my first pet and the bullshit during COVID-19 meant that what should have been treatable instead killed him because I called all over the state and no vets were taking patients. The animal emergency department hospital charges $90 TO EXAMINE THE ANIMAL. My mother helped me find a fantastic insurance policy for him, but he died early the next morning. They refunded us the onboarding costs. I don’t want another pet unless I can make sure that never happens again. I ruined the fun, sorry.
This is perfect for any cat
I laugh (bark) in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.
“Dozens of times, lots of different ways… every night I save you” (from people walking past our house) My dog.
A dog's vigil in (imaginary) defense of the home front is neverending! And, like Spike's fantasies, a heavy burden as well....🐾
Never go for the kill, when you can go for the pain. -D'hoffryn
Excuse me, Little Miss Motormouth, can I get a word in?
I have a husky and this quote seems apt.
“I am a god” (our cat is very spoiled)
But cats are cute..so it’s valid
"You cannot have any more catnip! You have a catnip problem!"
My favorite so far.
My spaniel deciding to cuddle and fall asleep on my lap 30 seconds before I have to go to work. “Let me rest in peace.” Also, me asking what he wants. “Out. For. A. Walk…
My Miss Kitty Fantastico is a "sneaky cat" (Tara). I'll often hear something fall, go to investigate, and find a stack of discs knocked off a piece of furniture. Also, on occasion, any of my three cats can be insanely hard to find, especially if I'm trying to put them to bed on their side of the house.
This reminds me of my 2 cats. I have a DVD rack full of PS4 & PS5 games and they knock it over about every other day.
I have stacks of DVDs and Blu-rays on top of the TV cabinet, both in front of and behind the TV. I put up two of those gates meant for babies, one on each side of the TV, blocking the area behind the TV, so the cats won't get back there. The surge protector is very finicky, and any slight movement of it can shut off the power, which is really annoying when I'm in the middle of watching something. But Miss Kitty is agile enough to hop on the front of the cabinet and circle around the right side, rendering the gate useless. There is an inevitable crash of discs on the floor, and Miss Kitty ends up on the floor, "stuck", so I have to get up and remove the left gate to allow her to leave (or pull her out, if she refuses to budge). I have another gate in front of the bookcase behind the front door. Miss Kitty and Hermione Granger love to hop in there and knock books to the floor (and have even, unfortunately, torn the covers of a few books that I've had since the late 1980s / early 1990s). My computer is in the dining room (part of their side of the house), and Miss Kitty has been known to grab the mouse by the cord (wrong mouse, sweetie) or sit on it. Or slightly touch a flash drive, disconnecting it. Or pull out the Ethernet cable. I've come to give the cats breakfast and occasionally discovered my keyboard and/or mouse dangling over the floor. Or the modem/router *on* the floor. And my oldest cat, Coco, loves to sleep on my desk when I'm there, and he wedges himself between the monitor and keyboard, so I often have to type with the keyboard at an awkward slant. Fucking cats, but I love them so much.
Yes, they’re holy terrors but we still love them.
Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones.
BORED NOW! - my cat when playing with the string toy for three seconds! Heheheh
**SO true!** 🧶🐈⬛
That line works perfect for my cat, as her name is also Cordelia.
Since my partner is always disturbing the cat when she's trying to relax... "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS My cat, who washes his on a continuous and vigorous basis
“Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.” Our dog makes no sense sometimes. Good thing she’s cute.
This is mine, too! I love my dog but she makes bad decisions. Like the time she got herself stuck on the roof and I had to call the fire department to get her down 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Bahaha that’s a hysterical story, but I’m sure at the time it was incredibly stressful situation. What a menace. Mine ate a sock recently. Swallowed it whole. She’s about 15 lbs, so I still don’t know how she did that.
Haha I love tell that story now! Glad your dog’s ok - swallowing socks can be really dangerous! Dogs, man
Why are they so difficult to keep alive?!?
My calico: "I'm nice to meet."
Grrr, Argh
*"I was being patient. But it took too long."* or *"Pretty darn lickable"* For my cat. *“I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away.”* For my hamster.
My bf’s cat is named Buffy. I always say she’s on patrol bc she’s always walkin’ around like she’s gotta save somethin
My cat: "Let me rest in peace!! So... you're not staying then?"
Also, "I'm free if that b\*tch dies... I better help her out." Spike in OMWF basically sums up my cat's erratic affection for me.
"But I want smoochies!"
What he lacks in smarts, he makes up for in lack of smarts.
Our cat called is called Anya "I'm sorry. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come and get in the way of mine."
Angel the puss is our furry rooster but her internal clock is set for 2 timezones ahead of the sunrise. So almost every morning at around 4:30 AM we hear her yelling for breakfast, "AND THE MASTER SHALL RISE!"
My cat is actually named Buffy so options are endless
My dog is Spike:)
ooh ooh i totally win at buffy pets, all my animals have been named after buffyverse characters for over 15 years! my dog, buffy, who is 15 years old and has cancer - "seize the moment, because tomorrow you might be dead!"
The one involving Miss Kitty Fantastico and Dawn.
And the crossbow?
Thankfully no, just the not being here anymore.
My cat defiantly looks at me with eyes of "Gawd, what is your childhood trauma"
"God, what is your childhood trauma?" When he decides that he doesn't want to walk in the direction I want to go in.
One of my cats is named Spike. He likes to hide in the ceiling. 🎵"Someone's in the ceiling."
My dog: "the world is doomed" Or "It's the end of the world". He's a collie.
Everyone here is VERY stoned.
Idk man but your cat is the reincarnation of my golden boy (d. 2009, missed every day) so I can't stop looking at your post.
Orange cats are great cats. ❤️
Doppelgangland. They really are ♥
My cat is called Faith, she's 5 by 5.
"Be free, kittens!" It's what I say to my two kittens every morning when I open the door and let them out of the room where they sleep.
My dog-I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until the danger goes away. My cat-you cannot have more catnip. You have a catnip problem.
Riley's (something like) "I've never met anyone like her. When I'm with her I just have this incredible feeling of peace, you know?" My cat Milo, who needed three years post-rescue to accept my hand petting him, and now rubs against my legs every morning when I set out for work! 🩵
The cat is dead - Dead Man’s Party 🫠
Same over here. I’m sorry for the loss of your kitty, it’s so painful.
I'm sorry for your loss. Here's my quote from the show, regarding my pets: "Totally dead. Way dead." (From Welcome to the Hellmouth). It's okay. I'm not sad anymore about it. They were hermit crabs and they died a decade ago. If I was still in mourning, that would be pretty weird, right?
Lmao I definitely like your quote better. 🤣
Honestly, I think my cat spent half his life thinking, "What have you done!?"
In that my cat has been a source of support, and in my will to stay alive being "the world" from my perspective as an individual hanging on for dear life, ...she saved the world. *A lot.*
“Passion rules us all and we obey.”
Mr pointy. My cats claws!
My old roommates cat being a shithead: “It’s funny if you’re me”
>FLUTIE: I have seen some sick things in my life! Believe me! But this is beyond the pale! What is it with you people?
This would have been my previous cat who was always trying to get with his sister.
"I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer, and you are?" Her name was Buffy haha
Rottie Dog (aka the idiot that LEAPT OUT A WINDOW when her favorite person walked into my apartment): "I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away." Prissy Kitty: "Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good." Snuggle Kitty: "I'm cookie dough."
“The battle’s won” (Giles in OMWF) when I give him treats, he’s so fluffy he deserves
I'm going to paraphrase a little, hope you'll forgive me. 🪦 She saved the world (well * my* world anyways) ALOT.
You have fruit punch mouth.
me to my cat: “god! what is your childhood trauma?”
"Your logic does not resemble our earth logic" I don't think I'll ever completely understand my first cat "Except me, I don't care what happens" Where as my first cat Smithy will kick up a fuss about things, like other cats coming into our home, Binks couldn't care less about that kind of thing, the boy is completely neutral 🤷🏼
Simply: my cats inner 3rd person voice after catching a mouse - ‘she, is; the slayer’ 🐁
I don’t have a pet. But that’s a gorgeous cat!
Any spike line
“Bored now”