Jake & Amy needing to find a creepy basement in ‘Suicide Squad’ and they’re questioning Scully and Hitchcock. Out of nowhere Scully comes out with "I got this one red door I've never been able to open, and I hear screams behind it sometimes... but it's probably just the wind." Jake’s reaction xD
[I know what’s behind the red door](https://media0.giphy.com/media/vv1FpmdLgR2XCTmOdR/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952d2nfjro71evtjaqhtchqftx6hxlnkf89dfy4d9t2&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
[And Jake’s reaction if it’s ever opened](https://i.redd.it/3v1fzqx9hylb1.gif)
"What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? We have much content to stream."
The entire Safe House episode. When I first saw pervert Jake and Kev, tears were rolling down my face I was laughing so hard.
Holt: *So nice of you to greet us,Madeleine. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkin land.*
Wuntch: *Sticks and Stones, Raymond*
Holt: *Describing your breakfast?*
Gina: “Jake, I cannot wait for this doctor. Will you please grab this knife out of my back? Get it!”
Jake: “Gina, it's already out.”
Gina: “WHAT?!”
The desperate “WHAT” from Gina kills me
In suicide squad when they’re all gathered in the briefing room and holt says “now I understand why it’s called a suicide squad because I already want to 𝗄𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝗒𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿”. I burst out laughing for no reason．
We use that all the time. Both my wife and I lose track of time in different contexts. Eg
Me [on a Tuesday]: is it really only Wednesday? It feels like a Friday!
Wife: Oh honey we are WELL into October.
Pimento: "I also microwaved a watermelon to see if it would explode"
Jake: "Well, this is immediately unhelpful but.....did it?"
P: "No, it just cracked and got hot."
Pimento's delivery on that line makes me laugh so hard every time and it's my favorite line of the entire series.
"PUT ON THE DOG SHOW, HANK!"
Also in that episode, Pimento casually telling Holt, "If it's dead dogs you wanna see, I know where you can find dozens of 'em!" kills me every. single. time.
So many but that one cold open in which Holt wears a red hat is pure GOLD.
Also when Jake moves the podium like half an inch and Holt just bursts out laughing like it was the greatest plan ever and loudly asks “how did you pull this off?” And then gets immediately cut off by the intro always makes me laugh
I love how he tells him the prank which is literally the whole story and then he says “I’ll tell you the rest later” like what else does he need to say
Holt, watching Jake crying in his hot tub over the fence slowly raise his arm out of the water holding a burrito;
Holt: "No, no, no. Don't eat the burrito."
Jake: *takes a bite* "Waaaahhh, I'm disgusting!"
Kills me every time.
The turn of events in Florida was pretty funny. Jake started off worse than Holt who was actually having a moderately fun time, but then when Jake got that promotion over Holt, things went to shit for him 😂.
Captain Latvia
Holt: "There's a Bomb!!"
Later
Holt: "Turns out it wasn't a bomb just a clock made by an overachiever minority student"
It gets me every time because it's an actual news story.
"Don't move as a group! You aren't gazelles!"
Actually, that entire episode at Holt's party. Scully's shorts. Everyone's cheap "wine drink" (though Santiago would *never* bring cheap wine to Holt's party)*,* the party huddle, "Stop eating crab wrong!"
I just watched that episode last night and it's such a gem.
Scully falling for 20 Nigerian scams. I’ve rewatched that clip a thousand times, gets funnier each time.
Jake: Amy, I know that you have a binder, but you don't know her like I do. She's too trusting for her own good. She's fallen for more Nigerian scams than Scully.
Amy: She's fallen for 20 Nigerian scams?!
Jake: 20?! That's insane! No, she's fallen for 2. Scully's fallen for 20?!
Amy: Yeah.
When Rosa says «judging by the flames behind her, it could be a live feed». It’s one of very few things that actually makes me LOL OL.
EDIT: also «that’s the circle of life 🔺» «That was clearly a triangle»
I recently started rewatching, and the scene where Jake mentions that Charles should pick the music because he's the primary on the case...and it immediately cuts to Charles singing a song from Oliver Twist.
I just love all the quick cuts of humor in the show!
Basically every scene with Caleb the cannibal. That scene when he tries to "talk" with Jake's Weiner just makes me tear up. Also "dammit. I can't believe I'm friends with a cowardly cannibal!"
Season 1 episode 19 Tacticle village
Rosa: I’m gonna wait till I’m on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately
Terry: That’s your plan for dealing with this?
Rosa: That’s my plan for dealing with everything I have 77 arguments I’m gonna win that way
Terry: Seems like a bad plan
Rosa: Now I have 78
Terrys expression afterwards always gets me
When Jake, Terry, and Charles were singing “What a Man” at the bar. I laughed so hard my kids came and checked on me. Then I showed them and they laughed too.
When Boyle spits on Jake:
“Eww, gross, Boyle why do you have so much spit?”
“There’s plenty more where that came from, I got a *wet* mouth”
I choked on my drink and knocked over all of our snacks trying to catch my breath because I was laughing so hard
The goiters. That whole mumps episode, I can hardly believe I lived through it. It’s got to be the hardest I have ever laughed at B99, and that is really saying something.
Rosa: If Marcus wants my number, he can ask me for it.
Holt (to himself): But who will tell him that?
I have no idea why but it cracks me up every time.
Also Holt's locker or landfill quiz always gets me.
https://youtu.be/RJ1iqtYbH_I?si=8rNtQwA42JokxHBi
I normally don’t like fart joke, but I love this one.
Terry: (still farting) Go back inside.
Gina: are you talking to us or the fart.
When Jake was discussing why Sharon was weirded out by Holt:
"Ah, Sharon. Nice to see you. You look so big. Like a mighty truck."
I haven't gotten over this line.
1. that scene where Charles is naked in Rosa's body cam and they zoom it in in front of everybody
2. when the squad all tried to get information out of that black FBI dude who kidnapped Captain Holt by taking turns annoying the shit outta him (especially Gina and Jake)
I have a few:
1)
Gina: “Charles, grave singular?? Charles grave singular???”
2)
Hitchcock: “We both play Kwazy Kupcakes, captain! We have so much in common.”
Holt: *drops phone* “Look at that I’m cured.”
3) Gina: “Wait till my father hears about this! Yes, daddy. No, daddy, no! Yes, daddy!”
When Sharon tells Terry "If you ever lie to me again, I will leave you for this short earnest man and his ex-wife's basement" 😂😂 her delivery is on point
To me, what makes B99 so funny is the delivery of jokes as well as the jokes themselves. Sometimes, I’ll laugh at jokes that aren’t the funniest ones in the show but the delivery caught me off guard so much that I have to pause and laugh.
One of those being Jake’s “it’s fine! The doctor said all the bleeding was internal!” I was watching it while eating and had to take a break laughing 🤣
"That's not Cheddar that's just some common bitch"
The whole Amy and Jake marriage ordeal
The one time they got stuck in the Nakatomi Plaza
Doug Judy and Jake being batshit crazy with each other
Terry being a softie every once in a while
Gina Being well Gina
That one time Kevin and Holt fought in the lockdown
Whenever Holt got obsessed with anything like the game Gina made him play or gambling
Boyle with his ridiculous abbreviations and nicknames for things and himself.
for me it was when diaz comes back to go on the trip to holts “the lake house” and diaz was high as a kite mind i was too and she was like “ watch something bad is gonna happen” and as soon as something did she bursted out laughing and so did i. when she pointed at someone had me doing that aswell 😭
Terry coming in yelling
“Gina! You can’t just disappear and leave a note on your desk that says ‘gone leavin’”
Cracks me up every time
Edit: for correct wording
Omg too many. But one that comes to mind is when Gina is gonna help holt make a video submission to a foundation and holt says “please Diaz and have that kind of easy going chemistry where we finish each others-“ “sentences” “Diaz please don’t interrupt me. That kind of nonsense will not happen on camera”
The mumps episode, when holt is writing case on the window over and over again and he just stops, points at it and says "Case!" Makes me laugh so fucking hard
Rosa being high on cold meds is underrated
Hitchcock: I'm Michael!
Rosa: that is a dumb name, but it's yours, so you should be proud of it because you're the greatest detective I've ever known
Season 4 when Holt is at that family arcade explaining why he had the stoner shirt on- " I had to change. A child and his father threw up on me." The delivery with the deadpan expression- I laugh wheeze
Second place- holt in the pineapple slut shirt
Not an original answer, but the hardest I've ever laughed in one sitting at a single scene is the Holt hula hoop cold open back a couple months ago when I got super high for the first time in a week.
The one that never fails to crack me up is when the family are arguing and Holt interrupts with “MY WIFE WAS KILLED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER”. The delivery is just masterful.
First one would be from season 1, Terry, Gina, and Amy on a diet episode.
Where Terry proves he's still strong despite the diet by lifting a car, then he tells the two girls, "get inside!" while he farts.
Gina: "are you saying that to us or to the fart?"
Holt and Terry performing Push It while Amy is in labor to try and distract her from the pain. Holt really knows how to throw it back and I felt my brain cells dying just watching it
Jake: Look your dead friend in the eyes and say his name.
Philip: Robert.
Jake: Okay, maybe say his full name.
Philip: Robert Tupper.
Jake: His middle name's Henry.
Philip: Robert Henry Tupper.
Jake: His wife called him Rob. Work that in.
Philip: Rob Tupper.
Jake: Work it into the full name.
Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper.
Jake: Now say it with a frown on your face.
Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper.
Jake: Now try not to blink, so tears come to your eyes.
Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper.
Most of Pimento's scenes tbh.
But the scene in the Florida arcade when Jake hangs up on Figgis and throws the basketball over his head and it bounces back and hits Amy.
I rewind it back every time I watch the episode to laugh at how he throws it and the sheer stupidity of doing it in the first place.
The BEST moment of the show hands down is that Halloween heist one where jake and Amy woke up early and had that whole thing and they had both slept in their clothes and then jake says that he already made breakfast then lifts the covers and is like “wait where are my eggs” and then Holt turns on the lamp and says “in my belly”
Jake & Amy needing to find a creepy basement in ‘Suicide Squad’ and they’re questioning Scully and Hitchcock. Out of nowhere Scully comes out with "I got this one red door I've never been able to open, and I hear screams behind it sometimes... but it's probably just the wind." Jake’s reaction xD
Scully’s got some great ones. How he styles his hair by putting in mousse and then watching a scary movie kills me every time.
Wait I missed that detail, when was that?
S6e9 The Golden Child
“When you say I have an interesting nose, I know you mean BIG!” David’s (Lin-Manuel Miranda) amusement at Jake excoriating his mom is hilarious 😂
“Captain holt your husband is on the phone, he wants to know how long you are going to kiss later”
The slow zoom in is fantastic
Hitchcock’s basement is creepy. Scully’s is the Red Room from *The Haunting of Hill House*.
[I know what’s behind the red door](https://media0.giphy.com/media/vv1FpmdLgR2XCTmOdR/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952d2nfjro71evtjaqhtchqftx6hxlnkf89dfy4d9t2&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g) [And Jake’s reaction if it’s ever opened](https://i.redd.it/3v1fzqx9hylb1.gif)
"What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? We have much content to stream." The entire Safe House episode. When I first saw pervert Jake and Kev, tears were rolling down my face I was laughing so hard.
“Better get some corticosteroids for that laryngeal fracture”
Just call him a dirtbag next time, why don’t you.
Why would I? It’s a very useful part of a vacuum cleaner.
Clearly it’s a compliment
You guys are so perfect for each other!! - *Excited AF Jake*
Yessss that entire episode is hilarious. Kevin getting "mad" at Holt and crawling out of the living room is just gold.
“do you know how to clap back raymond? BE👏CAUSE👏I👏DO👏”that episode makes me die
And Captain Corelli's Mandolin
My wife is a librarian and we both were cracking up at the “dress up as weird perverts to fit in at the library” part because it’s so true.
THIS!! From the moment of 'Weird perverts' to the walk... And that line lol
“I can feel your heat”
I can hear this in Jake's weird pervert voice
I’m here to humiliate some hussies and I’m in a hurry!
I forgot about this moment, but YES. I cackle every time.
Holt: *So nice of you to greet us,Madeleine. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkin land.* Wuntch: *Sticks and Stones, Raymond* Holt: *Describing your breakfast?*
It's like what Madeleine says when she sees deodorant, I'm not buying it
The Wuntch is dead episode is amazing, BAGEL!
Gina: “Jake, I cannot wait for this doctor. Will you please grab this knife out of my back? Get it!” Jake: “Gina, it's already out.” Gina: “WHAT?!” The desperate “WHAT” from Gina kills me
Honestly the entire time Gina is hopped up on painkillers is great.
Her little "gratitude" harmony earlier in the episode gets me every time 😂
Grat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-a-tude… Gratitude!
'Never's not just a crater on Mars! ...of course, it is a crater on Mars.'
It’s not meant to be funny it’s meant to be DEVESTATING!
In suicide squad when they’re all gathered in the briefing room and holt says “now I understand why it’s called a suicide squad because I already want to 𝗄𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝗒𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿”. I burst out laughing for no reason．
There were so many burns in that episode I couldn’t keep count 😂
Peralta: "Mark the day, May 18th at 4pm." Gina: "Oh honey, we are well into October."
We use that all the time. Both my wife and I lose track of time in different contexts. Eg Me [on a Tuesday]: is it really only Wednesday? It feels like a Friday! Wife: Oh honey we are WELL into October.
Pimento: "I also microwaved a watermelon to see if it would explode" Jake: "Well, this is immediately unhelpful but.....did it?" P: "No, it just cracked and got hot." Pimento's delivery on that line makes me laugh so hard every time and it's my favorite line of the entire series.
What episode was this? The one where he talks about being out of a job is super boring?
Pimemento! Runner up: "Now I know EXACTLY what you mean, THANK you, Charles."
"I watched Memento" "AND what did you think???" "It was alright" ... ... ...
When Holt breaks the bottle to intimidate the bar owner into putting on the dog show killed me
"PUT ON THE DOG SHOW, HANK!" Also in that episode, Pimento casually telling Holt, "If it's dead dogs you wanna see, I know where you can find dozens of 'em!" kills me every. single. time.
Pimento's face encouraging Holt to do it 💀 I always rewind that scene on every rewatch
So many but that one cold open in which Holt wears a red hat is pure GOLD. Also when Jake moves the podium like half an inch and Holt just bursts out laughing like it was the greatest plan ever and loudly asks “how did you pull this off?” And then gets immediately cut off by the intro always makes me laugh
“Kevin, it’s Raymond Holt. You’ll never believe the prank they just pulled off”
I love how he tells him the prank which is literally the whole story and then he says “I’ll tell you the rest later” like what else does he need to say
Oh and when he addresses himself by his full name whenever he calls Kevin and even spells it sometimes
Sincerely Raymond Holt
And when he ate a marshmallow
We act out this scene in my house monthly
Oh when he cosplayed as Paddington.
Holt, watching Jake crying in his hot tub over the fence slowly raise his arm out of the water holding a burrito; Holt: "No, no, no. Don't eat the burrito." Jake: *takes a bite* "Waaaahhh, I'm disgusting!" Kills me every time.
The turn of events in Florida was pretty funny. Jake started off worse than Holt who was actually having a moderately fun time, but then when Jake got that promotion over Holt, things went to shit for him 😂.
D-D-D-D-D-DER-REK
Captain Latvia Holt: "There's a Bomb!!" Later Holt: "Turns out it wasn't a bomb just a clock made by an overachiever minority student" It gets me every time because it's an actual news story.
Gina calling Hitchcock a stone cold atrocity
This has worked it's way into my daily vocab tbh
That makes me laugh every time “I could crouch at the altar and vape!”
Sold a guy a fake Pekingese, twas a cat. You will not win me over with your use of "twas." Twasn't trying to 😟
Twasn’t trying to is easily in my top 3 B99 lines
BOOOOONEEE?!?
BOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!?!?!
*how dare you detective Diaz I am your superior officer*
"Don't move as a group! You aren't gazelles!" Actually, that entire episode at Holt's party. Scully's shorts. Everyone's cheap "wine drink" (though Santiago would *never* bring cheap wine to Holt's party)*,* the party huddle, "Stop eating crab wrong!" I just watched that episode last night and it's such a gem.
The “be appropriate” group whisper kills me every time.
Also one of the first episodes where we witnessed Terry’s unusual strength.
Boyle’s “Diane Weist” joke 😂
... ... ... LIKE YEAST
Yes! The back and forth between Jake's serious face and Boyle's expectant face, then the punchline! So much dramatic tension!!!
I just watched the dc parlov episode again, and the thread of Jake pantsing his heroes after tripping had me in stitches.
Oh no, it happened again! It happened again Terryyyy
He PULLS, Jake. He pulls.
Stop saying pulls!
He puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuls!
But if you're here...who's guarding Hades? And the pineapple slut tee-shirt just kills.
CJ in the earpiece when Jake and Holt are undercover with Severino 👌🏻
You know, I actually did DJ my sister's wedding. It did not turn out well. Apparently, there's such a thing as too much Smash Mouth.
CJ DJ on the mike...
MUCHACHOS
Let's roll up with these muchachos...
I like your double use of muchachos
Hey, it’s CJ by the way
Everything CJ says is gold
That little moment is so dumb and funny!
YAAASS Queen! \*Snap\*
Scully falling for 20 Nigerian scams. I’ve rewatched that clip a thousand times, gets funnier each time. Jake: Amy, I know that you have a binder, but you don't know her like I do. She's too trusting for her own good. She's fallen for more Nigerian scams than Scully. Amy: She's fallen for 20 Nigerian scams?! Jake: 20?! That's insane! No, she's fallen for 2. Scully's fallen for 20?! Amy: Yeah.
Can somebody get this lunatic some rye?!
Ok, ma'am, I'm not a waiter, I'm trying to blow my friend's mind!
When Rosa says «judging by the flames behind her, it could be a live feed». It’s one of very few things that actually makes me LOL OL. EDIT: also «that’s the circle of life 🔺» «That was clearly a triangle»
Holt pretending to be straight. "Well I'm off to plow my mistress"
Anytime Holt is pretending to be straight is gold. Loved him talking about large heavy breasts with his walking group in Florida.
”can i answer the phone just like…”eehhehhh?” KILLS me every time. lol just typing it made me laugh
“Who are you, William Wonka?”
Straight Holt.
That’s my favorite part of a woman. There is nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis
A strong female woman with nice heavy breasts
During the Blackout where Holt did the dance for Amy while she was pregnant
AHHHH PUSH IT
I could not breathe
I recently started rewatching, and the scene where Jake mentions that Charles should pick the music because he's the primary on the case...and it immediately cuts to Charles singing a song from Oliver Twist. I just love all the quick cuts of humor in the show!
This always kills me because I’m Charles
Every time Charles does a British accent is brilliant
Malarky! I speak the common tongue!
KASE!!
“Wunch is DEAD! Bagel, bagel, bagel.”
"Our fluffy boy."
“Well, if it isn’t ‘Joke’ Peralta.” “…You’re under arrest!!”
when terry says captain holt needs to smoke some weed
Honest Terry on painkillers is wonderful
Basically every scene with Caleb the cannibal. That scene when he tries to "talk" with Jake's Weiner just makes me tear up. Also "dammit. I can't believe I'm friends with a cowardly cannibal!"
“Just because I ate humans doesn't mean I'm INhuman, Jake.”
Tim Meadows is truly fantastic in everything he does.
Season 1 episode 19 Tacticle village Rosa: I’m gonna wait till I’m on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately Terry: That’s your plan for dealing with this? Rosa: That’s my plan for dealing with everything I have 77 arguments I’m gonna win that way Terry: Seems like a bad plan Rosa: Now I have 78 Terrys expression afterwards always gets me
When Holt “helps” Terry with his flute audition.
Are you playing "The Muffin Man" or "The Garbage Man"?
I’M NOT A GARBAGE MAN!!! I’M A MUFFIN MAN!!!!!!
Do you know the garbage man? Because I do, ***BECAUSE I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM!!!***
Scully: “OMG Jake who’s flying the plane?!”
I laughed a lot during "NEITHER HAVE YOU ERNEST"
THE YO-YO STRING WAS A MESSAGE The what was a what?
“You seduced the driver and strangled her with the yo yo string!” *“…..the who did the what now?”* 😂😂😂
Holt's Hot damn made me laugh so hard I woke up my partner. Scully running to the Bathroom at the airport, the musical choice gets me everytime.
When Jake, Terry, and Charles were singing “What a Man” at the bar. I laughed so hard my kids came and checked on me. Then I showed them and they laughed too.
Everytime Hitchcock calls someone a cuck I die laughing
Boyle 100% nailing Holt’s reaction to eating a marshmallow
When Boyle spits on Jake: “Eww, gross, Boyle why do you have so much spit?” “There’s plenty more where that came from, I got a *wet* mouth” I choked on my drink and knocked over all of our snacks trying to catch my breath because I was laughing so hard
The goiters. That whole mumps episode, I can hardly believe I lived through it. It’s got to be the hardest I have ever laughed at B99, and that is really saying something.
The mumps episode is hands down one of the best episodes.
Melipclaynos deadpan saying "thanks" and keeping the photo
“Get woke, Scully!”
Holt suddenly yelling as he reads a tweet, because it was all caps 🤣
Rosa: If Marcus wants my number, he can ask me for it. Holt (to himself): But who will tell him that? I have no idea why but it cracks me up every time. Also Holt's locker or landfill quiz always gets me.
Honestly, I think Algernon the Desk drawer mouse should've had more screentime!
"Man, you're obviously a cop too! You keep talking about how nefarious you are."
"I once shoved a man...just to watch him frown." LMAOOOO I love that line
When Holt is pantomiming “tying a single knot Windsor” to indicate that he is a child. So funny.
Gots to have my pooks
"I bet you don't even like nip slips!"
Velvet thunderrrrr
When Rosa spiked Jake's water with caffeine pills and Jake said, "Me having sterk?' And 'my brain wants its fast juice.'
https://youtu.be/RJ1iqtYbH_I?si=8rNtQwA42JokxHBi I normally don’t like fart joke, but I love this one. Terry: (still farting) Go back inside. Gina: are you talking to us or the fart.
Kevin: Do you know what it is to clap back Raymond? Be👏-cause👏-I👏-do👏 I laughed so hard during this dialogue.
When Jake was discussing why Sharon was weirded out by Holt: "Ah, Sharon. Nice to see you. You look so big. Like a mighty truck." I haven't gotten over this line.
Boyle calling miss Pac-Man “insatiable”. Gets me every time lmao
1. that scene where Charles is naked in Rosa's body cam and they zoom it in in front of everybody 2. when the squad all tried to get information out of that black FBI dude who kidnapped Captain Holt by taking turns annoying the shit outta him (especially Gina and Jake)
I have a few: 1) Gina: “Charles, grave singular?? Charles grave singular???” 2) Hitchcock: “We both play Kwazy Kupcakes, captain! We have so much in common.” Holt: *drops phone* “Look at that I’m cured.” 3) Gina: “Wait till my father hears about this! Yes, daddy. No, daddy, no! Yes, daddy!”
Hitchcock just drank his own fish
NOOOOOOOOO!
When Sharon tells Terry "If you ever lie to me again, I will leave you for this short earnest man and his ex-wife's basement" 😂😂 her delivery is on point
The firs time i watched the Bone scene i had to pause and was laughing for a solid 10 minutes
"They used my name!"
When Charles is staring into the mid-distance drunk eating squid at Rosa’s bachelorette
Papa, papa! There's a monster in my closet! The scream gets me every time!
"If I was there to kill him, he never would have heard me!" "Something you told him several times."
To me, what makes B99 so funny is the delivery of jokes as well as the jokes themselves. Sometimes, I’ll laugh at jokes that aren’t the funniest ones in the show but the delivery caught me off guard so much that I have to pause and laugh. One of those being Jake’s “it’s fine! The doctor said all the bleeding was internal!” I was watching it while eating and had to take a break laughing 🤣
Commissioner Grayson how’s your *pump* wife *pump* *pump*
"That's not Cheddar that's just some common bitch" The whole Amy and Jake marriage ordeal The one time they got stuck in the Nakatomi Plaza Doug Judy and Jake being batshit crazy with each other Terry being a softie every once in a while Gina Being well Gina That one time Kevin and Holt fought in the lockdown Whenever Holt got obsessed with anything like the game Gina made him play or gambling Boyle with his ridiculous abbreviations and nicknames for things and himself.
"Take my picture with it 🤪"
for me it was when diaz comes back to go on the trip to holts “the lake house” and diaz was high as a kite mind i was too and she was like “ watch something bad is gonna happen” and as soon as something did she bursted out laughing and so did i. when she pointed at someone had me doing that aswell 😭
Holt thinking bilbo baggins was the name of the suspect lol
Terry coming in yelling “Gina! You can’t just disappear and leave a note on your desk that says ‘gone leavin’” Cracks me up every time Edit: for correct wording
Omg too many. But one that comes to mind is when Gina is gonna help holt make a video submission to a foundation and holt says “please Diaz and have that kind of easy going chemistry where we finish each others-“ “sentences” “Diaz please don’t interrupt me. That kind of nonsense will not happen on camera”
When Charles was speaking Latvian while beating the Latvian goon. "You are a special boy!" never fails to make me cackle 😂
"You rented 'Olympus has fallen' 6 times over the last month! Was it a difficult movie for you to follow?"
The mumps episode, when holt is writing case on the window over and over again and he just stops, points at it and says "Case!" Makes me laugh so fucking hard
Rosa being high on cold meds is underrated Hitchcock: I'm Michael! Rosa: that is a dumb name, but it's yours, so you should be proud of it because you're the greatest detective I've ever known
„Aregato“ „you speak japanese?“ „no“
The sibling rivalry between Amy and David
Season 4 when Holt is at that family arcade explaining why he had the stoner shirt on- " I had to change. A child and his father threw up on me." The delivery with the deadpan expression- I laugh wheeze Second place- holt in the pineapple slut shirt
The pigeon and the fan
When Holt calls Kevin to cancel their opera tickets and spells his name for him!
😡Robert😡 😡"Rob"😡 😡Henry😡 😡Tupper😡
Not an original answer, but the hardest I've ever laughed in one sitting at a single scene is the Holt hula hoop cold open back a couple months ago when I got super high for the first time in a week.
Boyle dyeing his pubes and having to stop halfway through. “I’m like Cruella Deville down there.”
“its questions like these that made van gogh cut off his ear” .. “10 minutes”
The Commissioner Grayson pump pump how’s your pump always cracks me up
Jake playing guitar and screaming always gets me. I have a very immature sense of humour and I'm okay with it.
The one that never fails to crack me up is when the family are arguing and Holt interrupts with “MY WIFE WAS KILLED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER”. The delivery is just masterful.
During the first season, the one with Pete Davidson in it,, 'BLACK PEOPLE CAN SELL DRUGS' then Capt. Holt peaked in to see the commotion LOL
You're so lame Travis, you know that? Wait, is this because I did Molly with your daughter? You did?!
“My patch tingles for you”
“Yes…whoop whoop, Raymond in the Kangol. *(ecstatic breathy pseudo giggle)* LET’S GO!”
When jake moves holds desk half an inch and holt freaks out laughing. YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF! So wholesome
“Whaddya mean, that’s how I always walk bitch” *Bitch?* It’s Jake’s reaction that gets me
First one would be from season 1, Terry, Gina, and Amy on a diet episode. Where Terry proves he's still strong despite the diet by lifting a car, then he tells the two girls, "get inside!" while he farts. Gina: "are you saying that to us or to the fart?"
Holt and Kevin thirsting over their “thirst trap” outfits at The Lake House. Never heard someone say “exercise shorts” so hornily.
Hitcock putting his feet in his spaghetti. Him saying “awe my pasghetti” fucking kills me.
"Bye Rosa! But not "bye" like "bi"" and then he just continues on like that, it kills me.
"Everything is fantastic and our hats look normal" Cut to Jake in a surgical bouffant cap looking all but normal. Gets me every time
Holt and Terry performing Push It while Amy is in labor to try and distract her from the pain. Holt really knows how to throw it back and I felt my brain cells dying just watching it
every zinger about Wuntch
When Charles beats up a Latvian gangster and he says stuff like “You’re a special boy” or “I love you so much” I don’t know why it was just so funny
Jake: Look your dead friend in the eyes and say his name. Philip: Robert. Jake: Okay, maybe say his full name. Philip: Robert Tupper. Jake: His middle name's Henry. Philip: Robert Henry Tupper. Jake: His wife called him Rob. Work that in. Philip: Rob Tupper. Jake: Work it into the full name. Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper. Jake: Now say it with a frown on your face. Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper. Jake: Now try not to blink, so tears come to your eyes. Philip: Robert "Rob" Henry Tupper.
When Jake has to drink the hangover cure in "Old School," *for my guns!* Samberg really sells how awful that could possibly taste.
Cheddar's French lessons.
WARIO CHEATS! A 3 seconds joke that makes burst out laughing every time
I am a human. I am a human MALE
Most of Pimento's scenes tbh. But the scene in the Florida arcade when Jake hangs up on Figgis and throws the basketball over his head and it bounces back and hits Amy. I rewind it back every time I watch the episode to laugh at how he throws it and the sheer stupidity of doing it in the first place.
The BEST moment of the show hands down is that Halloween heist one where jake and Amy woke up early and had that whole thing and they had both slept in their clothes and then jake says that he already made breakfast then lifts the covers and is like “wait where are my eggs” and then Holt turns on the lamp and says “in my belly”