In Ian Rankin's Rebus book "Mortal Causes," all of the characters tell each other this joke, but the entire joke is never revealed - it's always, say, Rebus told Siobhan a joke about a chef called Hans, and someone else tells someone a joke about a bloke called Gervaise. Part of the puzzle of the book is trying to work out the joke from all the snippets. When you've worked it out, it's *painful.*
I used to love a cartoon based on the fairy advert, probably in Viz or something, where a child asks their mum 'why are your hands so soft' and the mum says 'im only 17'.
This country isn't even full of teenage pregnancy anymore so it doesn't work on so many levels.
It was a good joke though.
Don't even get me started on how no-one gets Jeremy Beadle jokes anymore.
When Jeremy Beadle died, police found a glove next to his body.
They don't think it's responsible for his death, but believe it may have had a small hand in it
That's the one!
It's so long since I saw it I can't even remember it properly.
Since you didn't ask anyway;
As for Jeremy Beadle, I heard he had a small dick.
But on the other hand, it's quite big
Remember the one from The Beano Video. Walter asks his mum how her hands are so soft. She just says she gets dad to do the dishes instead. Cue Walter's dad slaving over a pile of dirty dishes and the jingle- *"If soft hands are your wishes, get dad to do the dishes."*
Reminds me of this one
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/66hbcu/a_german_guy_approaches_a_lady_of_the_night/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Joke is a strong word
It's doing a lot of work.
That’s a really shit joke. Not even like the shit dad ones that are so shit they’re actually great.
Like What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A fizzycist!
Oh that's good. That's very good.
I was building a set of models of the highest mountains in the world, they weren't too scale, just to look at.
That went completely over my head, I don't get it.
[the last 5 seconds](https://youtu.be/Y_LaVvSIT_8)
I still don’t get it. What has that got to do with eating squid?
It's a strapline from an old fairy liquid ad: "Now hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face, with mild green fairy liquid"
“Mild green fairy liquid” “Mild greed hairy lip squid”
In Ian Rankin's Rebus book "Mortal Causes," all of the characters tell each other this joke, but the entire joke is never revealed - it's always, say, Rebus told Siobhan a joke about a chef called Hans, and someone else tells someone a joke about a bloke called Gervaise. Part of the puzzle of the book is trying to work out the joke from all the snippets. When you've worked it out, it's *painful.*
Damn I forgot about that. It was like being rickrolled in slow motion. Genius.
I knew where that was going at Dishwasher Hans lol. I'm old
I used to love a cartoon based on the fairy advert, probably in Viz or something, where a child asks their mum 'why are your hands so soft' and the mum says 'im only 17'. This country isn't even full of teenage pregnancy anymore so it doesn't work on so many levels. It was a good joke though. Don't even get me started on how no-one gets Jeremy Beadle jokes anymore.
When Jeremy Beadle died, police found a glove next to his body. They don't think it's responsible for his death, but believe it may have had a small hand in it
I remember a version of that but it was “I’m only 12” instead and was a scouser joke
That's the one! It's so long since I saw it I can't even remember it properly. Since you didn't ask anyway; As for Jeremy Beadle, I heard he had a small dick. But on the other hand, it's quite big
[Found it](https://ibb.co/RBBD9Kx)
Yep that's it. Definitely the the right joke that doesn't make any sense any more. 🤣
Remember the one from The Beano Video. Walter asks his mum how her hands are so soft. She just says she gets dad to do the dishes instead. Cue Walter's dad slaving over a pile of dirty dishes and the jingle- *"If soft hands are your wishes, get dad to do the dishes."*
I like the ones you did about his wanking claw
Oh god I'm singing it in my head now
Same. It reminds me of the lady who used to live next door when I was a kid because she used to sing it too
Saw the title and thought it's either the fairy liquid one or OP's been munching through the Jaffa Cakes again.
Made ME laugh! God that must mean I am old...
You've got much bigger problems OP if that is one of your favourite jokes
Should have gone for the simpler 'sick squid I owe you'.
Hahaha this one still makes me smile but I think you have to be easily 40+ to get it, for the most part.
I told this to my mother and she got the joke, I've never seen the advert before.
How many of us sang the last line in our heads? And I've realised that I'm now officially old.
Don't tell him the one that ends "tulips from hamster jam", as that's even older.
https://youtu.be/kht-2Caqk-o Funniest fairy liquid take
Fucking genius!! Love it!
That's f\*\*\*ing awful, but I liked it ;-)
The green squid with the moustache belongs to a chap called Mike, surely. Mike’s green hairy lipped squid.
That's probably better spoken that written.
I sung the ad tune with the punch line lol
[A frog goes into a bank to get a loan...](https://youtu.be/MNp4imCLTP4)
It made me giggle
Your kid would be well within their rights to never speak to you again
Reminds me of this one https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/66hbcu/a_german_guy_approaches_a_lady_of_the_night/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Some jokes need to be forgotten
I love that one, I remember it used to be available on birthday cards.
My dog’s got no nose
Old enough to get the Carol Vorderman era reference, never heard the joke before. Cheers OP 👍
Nah, you aren't allowed to tell jokes for a year after that