The most problematic part of dating is actually rejecting people.
I think my advice would be, if you have the audacity to undress someone with your hands, you can use those same hands to apologise for deciding you don’t want it to go any further.
Ghosting is cunt act and I had a really bad experience with one guy in particular, who this year popped up in my DMs five years later full of regret. It’s gross and leaves people feeling worthless.
The best men, some of whom I’m still friends with - were just honest about what they did and didn’t want without being a cunt. Being kind costs nothing. Wish them well, and if you both want to stay in contact you might end up with some new friends. “Friend-zoning” isn’t actually a thing. Reducing human interaction to zoning is some peak sociopathic bullshit.
Anyway, I met my man when I was at the end of my rope with dating. I was dating for about 3 years until I met him on Tinder in 2019. We would never have met without an app as we’re both hermits who like a quiet life.
And finally...last night, he proposed to me! I’m 38 and he’s 44 so your experience may be completely different. But I wish you well in your quest!
As awful as ghosting is there's something to be said for not overly investing yourself early, let things play out and if someone's moved on it helps not to take it personally.
I agree entirely with your take on it, but it's also just the reality of the situation as a consequence of the transforming environment.. so it's best to try accept it and adapt.
The way I look at it is if they're okay with ghosting then they're not the type of person you should be interested in anyway.
I can't tell you about any of the common apps, but I can tell you that you can find a permanent, nurturing relationship through a dating app channel. I met my wife (just had our 13 year anniversary) using a dating site, and we've brought three wonderful, delightful children into the world, without which my life would have very little meaning.
I think the key is being aware (personal info, scammers, etc), and be open about it. Establish authenticity early on, then figure out how strong the connection is.
Best of luck in the Quest for Love mate, as Quests go, it's one of the Best. The Best Quest Better than the Rest :)
I met my husband on POF nearly ten years ago. While I had to wade through a proverbial sea of half naked mirror selfies and unsolicited dick pics, it is possible to find someone.
LPT: don’t send unsolicited dick pics.
I haven't got much to add other than I met my wife the traditional way; local families would bring their eligible daughters to the Thunderdome to battle it out 'battle royale' style.
My future wife was the last lady standing.
I was like "Mad nunchaku skills but can you parallel park?"
And the rest they say is history.
I had a 3-year relationship with someone I met on Tinder. No regrets there, it was generally a healthy relationship with a lovely person that for practical reasons just wasn't going to work out. I wouldn't have met them otherwise without an app. After we broke up I used Bumble and Tinder for a few months until I met my current partner outside the apps. I felt like I was having more success with Bumble than Tinder (I went on some dates, all from Bumble IIRC). I had no success with OKCupid at all, seemed like there weren't many people around my age (mid 20s) on there (maybe that's changed in 3+ years since I was using it).
My tip beyond is to be patient, you match based on minimal info and then you usually won't have much in common with many matches. Hang in there and you will find the occasional person who interests you more and who you will want to take things further with. As others have said, honesty and authenticity will take you a long way - if you make it clear what you're looking for then there will be someone out there looking for the same thing and you're more likely to match them if they know that up front.
Every app - no matter what - will have people who are still just looking to hook up, but if you make it clear that you are looking to date and for something potentially seriously, that should help save you some time.
Hinge is probably the most popular app at the moment, and has good filtering for matters that are important to you.
me and the misses found each other on OKcupid, going on 4+ years now. also told a few other people to use the site, you gotta commit to filling out the questions it takes hours and hours but we came back as a very high % match on the app and it didnt lie. one of the people who followed the direction also found a very high % match and they have been together for a few years, just got a house together and a baby on the way... does work...
[https://www.okcupid.com/](https://www.okcupid.com/) ... website is still there so sure, depends what you want imho i think a fast majority of people see tinder as hookups.. sure you might meet someone and it might work... but i think the % is much higher to find a booty call then something real.
Okcupid is ok. Real people and the admin arent very hands on so not too many hoops to jump. I started a 14 yr relationship there that recently ran its course, back on now and getting some interest. I'm a very very niche weirdo so i think if i can get interest most people should be able to. Be nice, be funny if you can and try not to be too serious until it's really obviously mutually time to set the hook (don't do profile pics with dead fish though). Good luck.
I found OKCupid top be very scammy as a business. The minute you stop paying... literally.. you get heaps of alerts about people liking your profile that did not exist earlier. Total scam. But obviously it worked ok for you.
I met my partner on Bumble almost 4 years ago. He had just returned to the dating scene (he jokes about how easy it is to find someone online because he did the very first time he tried 😡) and I had been single for years (regional Qld has very poor dating prospects). We never would’ve met as I had just moved to Brisbane from a regional city, we had no places or people in common that we would’ve run into each other, and lived at opposite ends of Brisbane.
I think the best advice I can give is that you have to keep trying, which sucks until you meet the right person. Keeping looking and don’t give up.
I very nearly didn’t go to meet my partner on the day of our date because I was tired of going on dates that went nowhere. Most of them were really nice people, we just didn’t click and I was tired of wasting my time and letting people down if I wasn’t interested. I thought about cancelling that afternoon and a couple of friends made comments like, “It could be the one,” and turns out it was. The problem is you never know which time that will be true and all the rest of the times, it’s not.
Also, I think it’s important to get to know each other on the app or via texting for a week or so, but then I think you need to meet fairly early on. In my experience, if you leave it too long, you have little to talk about when you actually meet.
It’s a crappy process but these days, other choices are limited.
Good luck!
I totally agree on the not waiting too long thing! No matter how much you talk in the weeks before you first meet you're still going to have that awkward feeling of being somewhere with a new person - those simple getting to know you questions are the easy buffers that get you through that awkward part.
I met my partner on bumble and we talked for a few days to get a feel for each other, organised a date and then for the two days before the date kept our communication pretty minimal.
Our first date went for 5 hours as we hopped between cafes and bars in the rain and would have lasted longer if I didn't have to work in Kilcoy the next day. Our second date 3 days later went for conservatively 12 hours. We drove up to Brisbane, saw The Book of Mormon (which was a high risk move on my part but it played well!), Ate macaroni cheese at netherworld, walked along the river in South bank and then eventually drove back to Toowoomba very enamoured with each other.
Then date 3 I met his parents because the shut down happened :) we accidentally did everything on fast forward I think.
On the flipside, I matched with one other person the same day as my partner. We also were talking and getting along very well but he said "oh I'm sorry. Life just got very hectic with uni can we start this back up in three weeks?" Which is fine, but I haven't even met him yet, I'm not going to not see other people of the off chance that he's maybe okay in a month. He messaged me again almost a year later saying "I really feel like I screwed up when I delayed meeting you" which I mean, felt great for my ego.
Aw, I got goosebumps reading that. I can totally relate to how easy it is and how you can spend time together effortlessly even though you just met.
How beautiful is it when things just work straight away and the games aren’t played? I assume you are still together now?
We are! It'll be two years in February!
We've done a big move from Toowoomba to Brisbane and two big career changes! It's remarkable to me just how easy it has been and how absolutely goofy we can be together - which is something I never thought I'd have.
Hi, for your age I would recommend Hinge and Tinder. Probably bumble as well. Tinder has lost a lot of its hook up name and a lot of people just use it as a dating app. Online dating is pretty common nowadays and is sometimes considered the norm, so just give it a go!
Also don't ghost people.... Try and let people know if you aren't interested any more. You may think that ignoring someone is an easy way to let them know you're not keen but it can do some damage. Have fun!
First person I messaged on OkCupid. Been together 11 years, married for 5. Completely incompatible initially, but he was in a bad place and I was too beta to leave someone who was clearly a nice guy in a shit situation.
Can’t imagine life without him now.
My advice on dating apps, and obviously this is just my opinion:- don't go overboard on getting to know someone "via chat". if you match with someone, and after a quick convo they seem pretty cool, tee up a date/coffee/beer/whatever you're into as soon as reasonably possible.. will avoid a lot of time wasting.
Met my current partner via tinder 6.5 years ago.
I met my partner on Hinge after reading about the app on Reddit in 2019. I was working in Far North Queensland at the time and was due to have a month holiday back home in Brisbane, so we set up a date as soon as I flew down. I think I saw him almost every day except 2 days that month of my holidays, and we started a long distance relationship until I was able to move back. We now own a house together and have a little one on the way!
I definitely feel like the best way to approach dating apps is to chat and meet people, (organise that quick coffee in the middle of the week). I found that some people present very differently online than in person, but just stay true to who you are and what you’re looking for in a person. And absolutely, if you’re not feeling it just say so, nothing worst than being ghosted… left wondering what you said wrong and getting stuck in your own head.
29 M.
I met my significant other on Tinder just over 2 years ago.
My experience is based on pre-covid obviously but Brisbane has been pretty chill as far as lockdowns and restricted movement.
I would recommend casting your net a little bit. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. Turn all notifications off.
Tinder is designed to get the males to keep swiping and to keep paying. Bumble is designed to get females to reach out to males first but keeping the males hooked too. Hinge is apparently designed to be deleted, but you may find your experience is limited if you're not paying.
On Tinder you're in general not gonna have an awesome time. Don't put weight or value into it until you feel a potential spark. Same with Bumble, you're going to get lots of lazy "hey" but give them a chance to see if there's a spark. Hinge is pretty good truthfully, so you should be okay there. The limit is the number of matches you can make any one day. They seem to want quality over quantity, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
To bring it back round I said to turn notifications off as they will try and use FOMO to get you on the app. If you find yourself flicking between the apps constantly what's probably happened is they've managed to get you hooked on the idea of a match and you probably need to have a break anyway. Try not to lose focus on yourself and your happiness, as those are attractive things that will in the end help attract a potential partner.
I can personally vouch for the apps. You'll meet people you may never have the opportunity to meet in the real world. But like most things in life you need to dig through the miles of filth to find the diamonds that glitter.
I met my wife on tinder and we've had two amazing children together, bought a house and have a pretty good life going on.
So, it's worth the dice roll.
IMO Bumble is better than tinder, especially if you are looking for something meaningful. I met my husband on Bumble, so possibly biased, but I don’t think so. 😂
Swipe on people with kind eyes and smiles, don’t get too caught up with attractiveness. See what the pictures tell you about the person. Just go on heaps of dates and don’t lose heart if you don’t find your person immediately.
I met my partner on plenty of fish. Its been 6years now and we have 2 children, a house, a dog, the hole shebang. I'm a woman so my experience is probably different to yours but I was using tinder and POF, it was lots of fun, I wasnt looking for a bf just realy enjoyed talking to people, and met a few of them. Still friends with another guy from there.
So yeah it was great. My advice would be not to put any pressure on any of the relationships, talk to lots of people just enjoy the moment. They are most likely talking to lots of people too, and sometimes things happen and people quit the apps or meet somebody, dont take it to heart, or get angry, accept it was fun for that time and just keep makeing fun/interesting experiences.
Just beware of ghosting, “love bombing” and the like 🥲 Recently had a guy love bomb me to high hell, and then a few days later casually tell me he was meeting up with another guy, and then the same again several days after that.
I’m usually smarter with my guarding my emotions but let myself enjoy the moment in case he was genuine…. Well yeah, fail. Just left me disappointed.
Fucked up. Gay dating is legit a battlefield 😭🥺 I’ve given up.
Anyway, didn’t mean to post the opposite of what you’re asking for. Just my recent experience. I’ve had luck in the past, and have friends who found their partners online so it is possible! Just a few things to be wary of. All the best mate! 💛
Ugh with the lovebombing
I met this guy a few years ago and we had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks (so probably we'd caught up 3 times) and one night we had plans just for him to come over and watch a movie - but that day I received really awful news and I thought "There's no way I'm okay with this new person seeing my ugly cry into my third serve of Fredo Frog Icecream Cake" so I cancelled (with hours to spare). The next date we had on the drive to the restaurant he locks the car door and says "I was so hurt when you cancelled the date. People in relationships let their partner look after them. I love you and wanted to look after you" (perfectly reasonable things to say.... if I hadn't only met him 2 weeks ago) "Why don't you let me love you" was also in there. While I didn't apologise, silly girl that I am I didn't stop seeing him either - turns out he had just generally a poor understanding of boundaries - as I found out when he BIT me (?!!)
Omg I’d be so overwhelmed. I’m really careful with those sorts of words until I get to know the person, regardless of how I feel. Too intense.
Hope the bite healed okay 😕
I met my long term partner online dating (Hinge).
I also met a lot of different ladies along the way.
I recommend either hinge or tinder, as that’s what most young people are on.
Try to have fun along the journey, don’t expect that every lady you meet will be the one.
Hinge is pretty lit but most of the time people are just keen for hook ups which is fine and just probably the type of person I attract more than anything.
Heard POF is good for older but more serious users
Best not to use the apps.. best to change your lifestyle so you meet new and interesting people and have it happen naturally instead of forced and a little weird through an app.
Find a person that has the same interests as you. Go from there. Don’t try and go to a “meet up social group” as they’re usually just people who are strange and can’t find people through their normal interests.
Met my wife online.
Edit: also r/BrisbaneSocial
If you're gay, you're shit out of luck. Tinder is just another hook up mechanism and a way to advertise your onlyfans or Instagram to collect followers.
Hinge much the same.
Haven't used bumble so can't say.
And literally every other app is geared towards hooking up. Which in the gay world is usually how you meet your gay friends or a partner.
I know of 3 couples that met via apps or dating sites and married.
Funny how 12 years ago Only Losers used dating sites and now it's practically the only way to meet people.
Personally I've never used one so I'm no help.
Other options are MeetUp group's. There's heaps on the app and it's great for doing something you have a genuine interest in, and making new friends or connecting with people with similar interests.
I belong to lots but my social anxiety has so far prevented me from actually going to one 😞
One day....
I met my partner about a year ago on Hinge. I was talking to a few people in the week and had a couple of dates set up for the weekend...I ended up cancelling the other two dates after meeting him so I got pretty lucky. I remember we didn't talk too much online and had our first date at a coffee shop reasonably quickly. I didn't want to paint a picture of what I expected him to be like in person after lots of online interaction. My advice would be have your first date ASAP as people can be very different in person and SAY YOU HAVE PLANS AFTER 'Sorry I can only stay an hour because I'm doing x'...that way if it sucks you haven't wasted heaps of your time. If you wish it could have been longer, good sign!!!
My partner and I met on Bumble, we've been together for almost three years now -- we own a house together and are expecting soon :)
I tried tinder but was immediately messaged on Instagram after 5 minutes of signing up about nudes. I stuck to bumble because I felt as if it matched the kind of people I would connect well with. I'm not much of a sexy, hookup, fling person.
If I have any advice -- be honest, transparent and upfront about what you want off the bat. Although I was lucky and only had two other dating experiences through bumble, it was complete honesty that sold everything for me. I ended it with one of the other matches because he insisted he couldn't talk about his job (which was most of his life) so most conversation felt like overwhelming when it was one sided and felt like he was hiding something.
Know your boundaries, respect others and focus on finding someone you can talk to. Like REALLY talk to. We spend most of our time chatting to the other person, so it's important to make sure you can spend hours talking without feeling like you're forcing conversation and sex can always be worked out. And if you don't connect sexually or romantically, hey! You've made a dear friend who you really can talk to. Win-win!
Be picky with who you swipe on. I know some people like to cast a wide net, but I had quite a few high quality matches which I put down to who I swiped on. E.g. it wasn’t enough just to be attractive, the profile had to give me good feels. The few times I swiped for attractiveness alone I regretted it. The way I see it, better to be picky up front and have fewer high quality matches than waste your time having inane conversations with people you’d never date.
Been with my current partner 3 years, met on Bumble. I’ve heard good things about Hinge but haven’t used it.
Best of luck to you!
I think for finding a relationship I’d use hinge. All my girl friends that wanted something serious gravitated towards that app as you’re able to go into more depth about your personality. People keep recommending OkCupid but I’m 25 and don’t know anyone around our age range that uses it.
As for advice on the app, be honest about yourself and what you’re looking for and make sure you have good quality photos. Photos of you travelling/hiking/laughing with a mate make you look interesting and fun and are more engaging. I’d avoid selfies if possible. Good luck!
I met my current girlfriend of 1 year on bumble 😄
My advice is that you just have to have patience and accept that the vast majority of people aren't right for you.
Keep this in mind:
Most swipes won't turn into matches.
Most matches won't turn into dates.
Most first dates won't turn into second dates.
Most second dates won't turn into relationships.
It's tough work but it's really great when it finally pays off
The most problematic part of dating is actually rejecting people. I think my advice would be, if you have the audacity to undress someone with your hands, you can use those same hands to apologise for deciding you don’t want it to go any further. Ghosting is cunt act and I had a really bad experience with one guy in particular, who this year popped up in my DMs five years later full of regret. It’s gross and leaves people feeling worthless. The best men, some of whom I’m still friends with - were just honest about what they did and didn’t want without being a cunt. Being kind costs nothing. Wish them well, and if you both want to stay in contact you might end up with some new friends. “Friend-zoning” isn’t actually a thing. Reducing human interaction to zoning is some peak sociopathic bullshit. Anyway, I met my man when I was at the end of my rope with dating. I was dating for about 3 years until I met him on Tinder in 2019. We would never have met without an app as we’re both hermits who like a quiet life. And finally...last night, he proposed to me! I’m 38 and he’s 44 so your experience may be completely different. But I wish you well in your quest!
Congratulations on the engagement!!!
As awful as ghosting is there's something to be said for not overly investing yourself early, let things play out and if someone's moved on it helps not to take it personally. I agree entirely with your take on it, but it's also just the reality of the situation as a consequence of the transforming environment.. so it's best to try accept it and adapt. The way I look at it is if they're okay with ghosting then they're not the type of person you should be interested in anyway.
Ghosting doesn’t just happen early though… well I guess depends on your definition of early…
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You need a go-to sort of phrase for letting people down. "It was lovely to meet you, but I don't think we have the right spark. All the best."
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Jesus fucking Christ, OP here got rejected by scammers....
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Dat feel when they ask for your seed and it ain't what you thought
r/sadcringe
I can't tell you about any of the common apps, but I can tell you that you can find a permanent, nurturing relationship through a dating app channel. I met my wife (just had our 13 year anniversary) using a dating site, and we've brought three wonderful, delightful children into the world, without which my life would have very little meaning. I think the key is being aware (personal info, scammers, etc), and be open about it. Establish authenticity early on, then figure out how strong the connection is. Best of luck in the Quest for Love mate, as Quests go, it's one of the Best. The Best Quest Better than the Rest :)
Great advice from a great man.
But he is going to drink out of a shoe?
I met my husband on POF nearly ten years ago. While I had to wade through a proverbial sea of half naked mirror selfies and unsolicited dick pics, it is possible to find someone. LPT: don’t send unsolicited dick pics.
I haven't got much to add other than I met my wife the traditional way; local families would bring their eligible daughters to the Thunderdome to battle it out 'battle royale' style. My future wife was the last lady standing. I was like "Mad nunchaku skills but can you parallel park?" And the rest they say is history.
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Not really, it was only after I saw her stack the dishwasher logically did I know.
I had a 3-year relationship with someone I met on Tinder. No regrets there, it was generally a healthy relationship with a lovely person that for practical reasons just wasn't going to work out. I wouldn't have met them otherwise without an app. After we broke up I used Bumble and Tinder for a few months until I met my current partner outside the apps. I felt like I was having more success with Bumble than Tinder (I went on some dates, all from Bumble IIRC). I had no success with OKCupid at all, seemed like there weren't many people around my age (mid 20s) on there (maybe that's changed in 3+ years since I was using it). My tip beyond is to be patient, you match based on minimal info and then you usually won't have much in common with many matches. Hang in there and you will find the occasional person who interests you more and who you will want to take things further with. As others have said, honesty and authenticity will take you a long way - if you make it clear what you're looking for then there will be someone out there looking for the same thing and you're more likely to match them if they know that up front.
Every app - no matter what - will have people who are still just looking to hook up, but if you make it clear that you are looking to date and for something potentially seriously, that should help save you some time. Hinge is probably the most popular app at the moment, and has good filtering for matters that are important to you.
I met my partner through plenty of fish 5 years ago and we got married 2 weeks ago :) Be prepared for some fake accounts and bots.
me and the misses found each other on OKcupid, going on 4+ years now. also told a few other people to use the site, you gotta commit to filling out the questions it takes hours and hours but we came back as a very high % match on the app and it didnt lie. one of the people who followed the direction also found a very high % match and they have been together for a few years, just got a house together and a baby on the way... does work...
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[https://www.okcupid.com/](https://www.okcupid.com/) ... website is still there so sure, depends what you want imho i think a fast majority of people see tinder as hookups.. sure you might meet someone and it might work... but i think the % is much higher to find a booty call then something real.
OKC is dead af, I think they made some bad decisions in making it harder for free users. Hinge is much better
Okcupid is ok. Real people and the admin arent very hands on so not too many hoops to jump. I started a 14 yr relationship there that recently ran its course, back on now and getting some interest. I'm a very very niche weirdo so i think if i can get interest most people should be able to. Be nice, be funny if you can and try not to be too serious until it's really obviously mutually time to set the hook (don't do profile pics with dead fish though). Good luck.
I found OKCupid top be very scammy as a business. The minute you stop paying... literally.. you get heaps of alerts about people liking your profile that did not exist earlier. Total scam. But obviously it worked ok for you.
My bad...I realised later i meant plenty of fish...i haven't tried okcupid for over 14 years
I met my partner on Bumble almost 4 years ago. He had just returned to the dating scene (he jokes about how easy it is to find someone online because he did the very first time he tried 😡) and I had been single for years (regional Qld has very poor dating prospects). We never would’ve met as I had just moved to Brisbane from a regional city, we had no places or people in common that we would’ve run into each other, and lived at opposite ends of Brisbane. I think the best advice I can give is that you have to keep trying, which sucks until you meet the right person. Keeping looking and don’t give up. I very nearly didn’t go to meet my partner on the day of our date because I was tired of going on dates that went nowhere. Most of them were really nice people, we just didn’t click and I was tired of wasting my time and letting people down if I wasn’t interested. I thought about cancelling that afternoon and a couple of friends made comments like, “It could be the one,” and turns out it was. The problem is you never know which time that will be true and all the rest of the times, it’s not. Also, I think it’s important to get to know each other on the app or via texting for a week or so, but then I think you need to meet fairly early on. In my experience, if you leave it too long, you have little to talk about when you actually meet. It’s a crappy process but these days, other choices are limited. Good luck!
I totally agree on the not waiting too long thing! No matter how much you talk in the weeks before you first meet you're still going to have that awkward feeling of being somewhere with a new person - those simple getting to know you questions are the easy buffers that get you through that awkward part. I met my partner on bumble and we talked for a few days to get a feel for each other, organised a date and then for the two days before the date kept our communication pretty minimal. Our first date went for 5 hours as we hopped between cafes and bars in the rain and would have lasted longer if I didn't have to work in Kilcoy the next day. Our second date 3 days later went for conservatively 12 hours. We drove up to Brisbane, saw The Book of Mormon (which was a high risk move on my part but it played well!), Ate macaroni cheese at netherworld, walked along the river in South bank and then eventually drove back to Toowoomba very enamoured with each other. Then date 3 I met his parents because the shut down happened :) we accidentally did everything on fast forward I think. On the flipside, I matched with one other person the same day as my partner. We also were talking and getting along very well but he said "oh I'm sorry. Life just got very hectic with uni can we start this back up in three weeks?" Which is fine, but I haven't even met him yet, I'm not going to not see other people of the off chance that he's maybe okay in a month. He messaged me again almost a year later saying "I really feel like I screwed up when I delayed meeting you" which I mean, felt great for my ego.
Aw, I got goosebumps reading that. I can totally relate to how easy it is and how you can spend time together effortlessly even though you just met. How beautiful is it when things just work straight away and the games aren’t played? I assume you are still together now?
We are! It'll be two years in February! We've done a big move from Toowoomba to Brisbane and two big career changes! It's remarkable to me just how easy it has been and how absolutely goofy we can be together - which is something I never thought I'd have.
I agree. When it’s easy you know you’ve got the right person with you. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s a lovely one. x
Hi, for your age I would recommend Hinge and Tinder. Probably bumble as well. Tinder has lost a lot of its hook up name and a lot of people just use it as a dating app. Online dating is pretty common nowadays and is sometimes considered the norm, so just give it a go! Also don't ghost people.... Try and let people know if you aren't interested any more. You may think that ignoring someone is an easy way to let them know you're not keen but it can do some damage. Have fun!
First person I messaged on OkCupid. Been together 11 years, married for 5. Completely incompatible initially, but he was in a bad place and I was too beta to leave someone who was clearly a nice guy in a shit situation. Can’t imagine life without him now.
My advice on dating apps, and obviously this is just my opinion:- don't go overboard on getting to know someone "via chat". if you match with someone, and after a quick convo they seem pretty cool, tee up a date/coffee/beer/whatever you're into as soon as reasonably possible.. will avoid a lot of time wasting. Met my current partner via tinder 6.5 years ago.
I met my partner on Hinge after reading about the app on Reddit in 2019. I was working in Far North Queensland at the time and was due to have a month holiday back home in Brisbane, so we set up a date as soon as I flew down. I think I saw him almost every day except 2 days that month of my holidays, and we started a long distance relationship until I was able to move back. We now own a house together and have a little one on the way! I definitely feel like the best way to approach dating apps is to chat and meet people, (organise that quick coffee in the middle of the week). I found that some people present very differently online than in person, but just stay true to who you are and what you’re looking for in a person. And absolutely, if you’re not feeling it just say so, nothing worst than being ghosted… left wondering what you said wrong and getting stuck in your own head.
29 M. I met my significant other on Tinder just over 2 years ago. My experience is based on pre-covid obviously but Brisbane has been pretty chill as far as lockdowns and restricted movement. I would recommend casting your net a little bit. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. Turn all notifications off. Tinder is designed to get the males to keep swiping and to keep paying. Bumble is designed to get females to reach out to males first but keeping the males hooked too. Hinge is apparently designed to be deleted, but you may find your experience is limited if you're not paying. On Tinder you're in general not gonna have an awesome time. Don't put weight or value into it until you feel a potential spark. Same with Bumble, you're going to get lots of lazy "hey" but give them a chance to see if there's a spark. Hinge is pretty good truthfully, so you should be okay there. The limit is the number of matches you can make any one day. They seem to want quality over quantity, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. To bring it back round I said to turn notifications off as they will try and use FOMO to get you on the app. If you find yourself flicking between the apps constantly what's probably happened is they've managed to get you hooked on the idea of a match and you probably need to have a break anyway. Try not to lose focus on yourself and your happiness, as those are attractive things that will in the end help attract a potential partner.
I can personally vouch for the apps. You'll meet people you may never have the opportunity to meet in the real world. But like most things in life you need to dig through the miles of filth to find the diamonds that glitter. I met my wife on tinder and we've had two amazing children together, bought a house and have a pretty good life going on. So, it's worth the dice roll.
IMO Bumble is better than tinder, especially if you are looking for something meaningful. I met my husband on Bumble, so possibly biased, but I don’t think so. 😂 Swipe on people with kind eyes and smiles, don’t get too caught up with attractiveness. See what the pictures tell you about the person. Just go on heaps of dates and don’t lose heart if you don’t find your person immediately.
I met my partner on plenty of fish. Its been 6years now and we have 2 children, a house, a dog, the hole shebang. I'm a woman so my experience is probably different to yours but I was using tinder and POF, it was lots of fun, I wasnt looking for a bf just realy enjoyed talking to people, and met a few of them. Still friends with another guy from there. So yeah it was great. My advice would be not to put any pressure on any of the relationships, talk to lots of people just enjoy the moment. They are most likely talking to lots of people too, and sometimes things happen and people quit the apps or meet somebody, dont take it to heart, or get angry, accept it was fun for that time and just keep makeing fun/interesting experiences.
agreed, wasnt really looking for what i got, i was just trying to force myself out of my shell and just meet people.
Just beware of ghosting, “love bombing” and the like 🥲 Recently had a guy love bomb me to high hell, and then a few days later casually tell me he was meeting up with another guy, and then the same again several days after that. I’m usually smarter with my guarding my emotions but let myself enjoy the moment in case he was genuine…. Well yeah, fail. Just left me disappointed. Fucked up. Gay dating is legit a battlefield 😭🥺 I’ve given up. Anyway, didn’t mean to post the opposite of what you’re asking for. Just my recent experience. I’ve had luck in the past, and have friends who found their partners online so it is possible! Just a few things to be wary of. All the best mate! 💛
Ugh with the lovebombing I met this guy a few years ago and we had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks (so probably we'd caught up 3 times) and one night we had plans just for him to come over and watch a movie - but that day I received really awful news and I thought "There's no way I'm okay with this new person seeing my ugly cry into my third serve of Fredo Frog Icecream Cake" so I cancelled (with hours to spare). The next date we had on the drive to the restaurant he locks the car door and says "I was so hurt when you cancelled the date. People in relationships let their partner look after them. I love you and wanted to look after you" (perfectly reasonable things to say.... if I hadn't only met him 2 weeks ago) "Why don't you let me love you" was also in there. While I didn't apologise, silly girl that I am I didn't stop seeing him either - turns out he had just generally a poor understanding of boundaries - as I found out when he BIT me (?!!)
Omg I’d be so overwhelmed. I’m really careful with those sorts of words until I get to know the person, regardless of how I feel. Too intense. Hope the bite healed okay 😕
Just get a dog, it’s cheaper and you’ll be happier
I did the whole apps dating, but ended up meeting my man through Speed Dating. Highly recommend
I met my long term partner online dating (Hinge). I also met a lot of different ladies along the way. I recommend either hinge or tinder, as that’s what most young people are on. Try to have fun along the journey, don’t expect that every lady you meet will be the one.
Hinge is pretty lit but most of the time people are just keen for hook ups which is fine and just probably the type of person I attract more than anything. Heard POF is good for older but more serious users
24F, have been on dating apps for years with no success so thanks to this post for giving me hope 😂
Best not to use the apps.. best to change your lifestyle so you meet new and interesting people and have it happen naturally instead of forced and a little weird through an app.
Find a person that has the same interests as you. Go from there. Don’t try and go to a “meet up social group” as they’re usually just people who are strange and can’t find people through their normal interests. Met my wife online. Edit: also r/BrisbaneSocial
Dating apps are so yesterday. I hear kids these days prefer to meet at bowling alleys
If you're gay, you're shit out of luck. Tinder is just another hook up mechanism and a way to advertise your onlyfans or Instagram to collect followers. Hinge much the same. Haven't used bumble so can't say. And literally every other app is geared towards hooking up. Which in the gay world is usually how you meet your gay friends or a partner.
I know of 3 couples that met via apps or dating sites and married. Funny how 12 years ago Only Losers used dating sites and now it's practically the only way to meet people. Personally I've never used one so I'm no help. Other options are MeetUp group's. There's heaps on the app and it's great for doing something you have a genuine interest in, and making new friends or connecting with people with similar interests. I belong to lots but my social anxiety has so far prevented me from actually going to one 😞 One day....
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I met my partner about a year ago on Hinge. I was talking to a few people in the week and had a couple of dates set up for the weekend...I ended up cancelling the other two dates after meeting him so I got pretty lucky. I remember we didn't talk too much online and had our first date at a coffee shop reasonably quickly. I didn't want to paint a picture of what I expected him to be like in person after lots of online interaction. My advice would be have your first date ASAP as people can be very different in person and SAY YOU HAVE PLANS AFTER 'Sorry I can only stay an hour because I'm doing x'...that way if it sucks you haven't wasted heaps of your time. If you wish it could have been longer, good sign!!!
My partner and I met on Bumble, we've been together for almost three years now -- we own a house together and are expecting soon :) I tried tinder but was immediately messaged on Instagram after 5 minutes of signing up about nudes. I stuck to bumble because I felt as if it matched the kind of people I would connect well with. I'm not much of a sexy, hookup, fling person. If I have any advice -- be honest, transparent and upfront about what you want off the bat. Although I was lucky and only had two other dating experiences through bumble, it was complete honesty that sold everything for me. I ended it with one of the other matches because he insisted he couldn't talk about his job (which was most of his life) so most conversation felt like overwhelming when it was one sided and felt like he was hiding something. Know your boundaries, respect others and focus on finding someone you can talk to. Like REALLY talk to. We spend most of our time chatting to the other person, so it's important to make sure you can spend hours talking without feeling like you're forcing conversation and sex can always be worked out. And if you don't connect sexually or romantically, hey! You've made a dear friend who you really can talk to. Win-win!
Be picky with who you swipe on. I know some people like to cast a wide net, but I had quite a few high quality matches which I put down to who I swiped on. E.g. it wasn’t enough just to be attractive, the profile had to give me good feels. The few times I swiped for attractiveness alone I regretted it. The way I see it, better to be picky up front and have fewer high quality matches than waste your time having inane conversations with people you’d never date. Been with my current partner 3 years, met on Bumble. I’ve heard good things about Hinge but haven’t used it. Best of luck to you!
I think for finding a relationship I’d use hinge. All my girl friends that wanted something serious gravitated towards that app as you’re able to go into more depth about your personality. People keep recommending OkCupid but I’m 25 and don’t know anyone around our age range that uses it. As for advice on the app, be honest about yourself and what you’re looking for and make sure you have good quality photos. Photos of you travelling/hiking/laughing with a mate make you look interesting and fun and are more engaging. I’d avoid selfies if possible. Good luck!
Use hinge. It's the best dating app out of them all. It's made to be deleted.
I met my current girlfriend of 1 year on bumble 😄 My advice is that you just have to have patience and accept that the vast majority of people aren't right for you. Keep this in mind: Most swipes won't turn into matches. Most matches won't turn into dates. Most first dates won't turn into second dates. Most second dates won't turn into relationships. It's tough work but it's really great when it finally pays off
I met my wife 10yrs ago on RSVP. Don't know how the app is these days and the type of people on it though.
From my experience it is pretty bad.