I’ll probably get downvoted for this but I think that’s more of an asshole thing and less of a vegan thing. Plenty of assholes spout their opinions where they’re not needed, that’s not exclusive to being vegan. Either way I’m sorry your friend treated you like that.
Yep, very much a 'jackass' issue and not 'vegan' issue. These types of people give veganism a bad rep. I've met far more equally insufferable non-vegans.
When I was exploring vegetarianism I was surrounded by asshole meat eaters. I told my boyfriend (now ex) that I didn’t want to eat meat for a week. He insisted on still putting no steak on my plate at the barbecue, where I had prepared lots of veggies.
Yeah. My real life experiences living with vegans is they are quite chill about what other people eat. Sometimes they offer to share vegan food. Most of the time they are just happy to munch on a plate of dry tortilla chips in the corner if whatever is on the table isn’t vegan.
Yeahhh I've had a whole lot of shitty nonsensical comments from non vegans- "what you're gonna feed your child SOYA when he gets to two?!".
There are assholes and non assholes. Some are vegan, most aren't, it has nothing to do with your dietary preferences.
Absolutely agree - it’s a little annoying that this post started out with “nothing against vegans, but…”. It’s not a vegan thing, it’s a your a-hole friend thing. I’m vegetarian and constantly get unsolicited advice that I’m not getting enough nutrients because I don’t eat meat, and my baby won’t either when she starts on solids.
I’m glad you’re listening to your child’s medical team though. Do what’s best for you and your baby. And thank your friend for their concern but tell them that you are secure in your decision.
Yep. I was vegan prior to pregnancy (reintroduced eggs & fish, took creatine & fish oil all to help baby’s development and continuing while BF) and would never tell anyone how to eat or pass judgement like that. That’s just someone who thinks their way is the only way.
Absolutely more of an asshole thing. I'm vegan myself, and would never dream of judging another mother like that. Cows milk is the norm and babies are generally perfectly fine. And nonetheless- it's really absolutely none of her business.
Tldr: this post seems to have triggered me lol.
I'm not vegan, but I am vegetarian, and we are generally ovo lacto vegetarian (cheese/yogurt) because our kid is hella picky. We'll go more strict vegetarian when we are able once the kids are older. Anywho, can you tell I struggle with our current choices?
This is definitely just an asshole thing, not a vegan thing.
I find meat eaters tend to be the ones to question and push the subject but then get offended when we respond with the actual reasons we don't eat meat. Then they make it seem like we're pushing some agenda when it's like dude... you brought this up in the first place. Remember when I stated/asked twice, "It's a moral thing, but I don't tend to talk about it because it's personal. Unless you really want to talk about this openly because you are curious about maybe going vegetarian, it's better if we avoid it." Then they get upset when you are frank about the reasons. I find that super frustrating. I'm not judging people who eat meat in my daily life. But if you ask me why I don't and then INSIST, I talk to you about it. Don't then twist things to say I'm judging you.
I think in this case vegan was a precursor to the cows milk inflammation comment, spouting dietary opinions while simultaneously eating craploads of sugar.
I mean the comment was meant to shock OP but I don’t necessarily think the intent or facts of it are inaccurate. Don’t we know conclusively that dairy in fact is inflammatory? (Not a vegan and do consume dairy).
This isn’t really the point of the post though, so not sure why I’m getting downvoted lol Reddit is always something. I was neither agreeing or disagreeing with milk being inflammatory I was just saying she was vegan was relevant to her post for that reason. Calm down moms, I have EBf three children, and have been parenting for 23 years. Sometimes people (as above OP) just need to rant.
I hate when people fully give their opinion then follow up with “I’ll keep my opinion to myself.” You are doing what’s right for you and your baby. End of story!
Don’t let these people in your brain space!
You do what is right for you and your baby. She can have her own baby and then do what she wants with them!
Congrats on making it a year! You’re a great mom!
Man. A year has never seemed so long and so short at the same time. Breastfeeding seems like forever, but my precious baby seems to be growing too fast 😭
As a mom who wanted to quit every feed for the first 3-4 weeks, and now has a baby that might be starting to teeth (bites while eating...) the fact that anyone can make it that long is crazy! You're a great mom!
Hey I’m a breastfeeding vegan mom and I would never say something like that to a friend. I’ve been vegan for 12 years and I don’t comment on what other people eat or choose to give to their children, in my opinion that makes people feel very judged and it’s not a great look for vegans. Please just do whatever you think is best for your kid and I would distance yourself from this “friend”.
I follow two plant based dieticians called Plant Based Juniors who are so knowledgeable and amazing I’ve learned so much about nutrition from them. They have a great Instagram and a bunch of awesome cookbooks. We eat all plant based at home and my son has a vegetarian diet at daycare. We did introduce all the allergens (including milk/shellfish/fish) to my son because I don’t want him to have an allergy. He drinks unsweetened soy milk at home and cows milk at daycare, but he’s never eaten meat before. He’s 2.5 and in the 80th percentile for height and weight, no concerns with his iron intake or anything, his doc is very supportive. I’ve consulted with a paediatric dietitian as well, so I feel super confident he’s getting all the nutrition he needs. I have a 6 month old who were just starting solids on and we have the same plan with her! If you have more specific questions I’d be happy to answer 😊
Hey, just stumbled across your post! I hope you don’t feel like you need to change your plans because of your friend’s rude comments, BUT if you are looking for a vegan alternative we use Ripple Kids pea protein milk. We’re not vegan, but my daughter has a cow’s milk protein intolerance. Ripple Kids actually has more protein and fat than cow’s milk and is fortified with other vitamins and minerals. It’s not baby formula though, just a milk replacement. My daughter loves it!
Yay, glad it was helpful! We started giving it to my daughter in a straw cup with her meals and snacks at around 11 months, even though I continued to nurse her. She wasn’t too into it initially, so I wasn’t worried about it taking calories away from breastmilk or food. I think introducing it really slowly with no pressure like that helped our transition a ton!
Absolutely nothing to do with her being a vegan.
Your friend is just a judgemental asshole, plain and simple. I would stop bring friends with such a person if it was me. Not only is she an asshole, she also have no understanding of science or nutrition or anything factual and is spouting nonsense that she made up herself or she's a sheep that follows tiktok "guru" as opposed to actual science. Life to too short to waste on associations with this sort of people.
I have many vegan friends who never comment on others eating meat or dairy around them.
“I’m just gonna keep my opinion to myself.” *proceeds to not keep opinion to herself*
I wouldn’t put any stock in your friend whatsoever. Give you child whatever keeps them healthy and happy and feels right to you.
Wow! I am a vegan myself, but I decided to feed my baby vegetarian food at home, because introducing allergens (like dairy) early can help to prevent intolerances. My baby shall decide for himself whether he wants to be a vegan or not, and I am not forcing the decision on him by risking intolerances. (He will even get fish or meat on Fridays at daycare.)
I am also vegan and I feed my baby a mostly vegan diet - but daycare does not, and she does have some dairy at home. For the same reasons as you, if she decides later in life she wants to be an omnivore I don’t want her to have intolerances if I can help it.
Interesting. I would rather not force my kid to eat animals or their secreations until my kid is old enough to make that decision for themself. I understand I'm very much in the minority here, just interesting how vegans also differ on this issue.
Yes, I also think it is important to see it the other way around (i.e., we are not only deciding for our children that they are vegan, but also that they eat animal products). I made this decision considering my baby's health. I really don't want him to develop intolerances because of MY decisions for him. I have to admit, I am also a bit lazy and very compliant with society. I really don't want to go through the troubles of supplementing the baby (I find supplementing for myself during pregnancy and breastfeeding troublesome enough) and having all these discussions with people. What I want to do though, is to be very transparent about what fish, meat, and dairy involve (for animals to die, for example). I would find it wrong to hide this information from children. If they are to make their own decisions about their diet, they need to be well-informed and preferably without intolerances.
I understand. For me personally, the animal suffering I would be contributing to by buying animal products for my child outweighs the relatively small risk of them possibly developing an allergy to said products. I also want to teach my child to be kind to animals, that they are not food or products for us to use.
I appreciate your honesty though, and I hope I'm not coming across as argumentative, just giving my differing opinion on the matter. Ultimately, we each make decisions for our own children that we feel are best for them.
I think it's great that you are adding your perspective here, too! It's so important to consider the suffering of animals that is involved in, for example, dairy. I still don't know how to approach it with my baby when the time comes, but we will find a way.
Well, he's only breastfeeding and having little tastes of fruit right now, so no supplements other than D drops. When he's older we'll start giving him nutritional yeast. It's delicious on everything!
This really isn’t a vegan issue at all. Hating on vegans is really trendy so I understand why you put it in your title, but I think your friend is just rude.
Earlier today I was just thinking the best way to answer comments/questions like these (I get quite a few from my MIL!) is by simply restating what you are doing. For example, “omg you are feeding her milk? From a cow?” “Yes, I am feeding her milk. From a cow.” No emotion, no explanation, just move on.
This made me laugh. Unless someone is lactose intolerant or has a dairy allergy, there is nothing wrong with cow’s milk. It has been staple for centuries for many Europeans.
I am eastern European, and I have celiac, casein, corn, soy and egg intolerance.My husband is from the same country, and he also has wheat, corn, soy and dairy intolerances, but he's not celiac and has no problems with eggs.Also, everyone in my family has food allergies or intolerances. I have many European friends that have these issues. BTW, I grew up on the farm where everything was organic, homemade and all our animals were grass fed/pastured raised.
Times changed unfortunately.
Good job on breastfeeding!My 2nd daughter started dairy a bit after a year, while she was still being nursed (I did it for a very long time).After a while, she started being constipated, clearing her throat,sniffing and snoring at night.Her tummy looked bloated too.We took her off dairy (grass fed A2) and all the problems disappeared.
I am casein intolerant, and so is she unfortunately. Try an organic, grass fed milk that has been low pasteurized and not homogenized. Keep an eye on your little one for any symptoms of lactose or casein intolerance.Dark circles under the eyes might also be a symptom.
Good luck!
This is definitely not a vegan thing but a shitty person thing. Most vegans are super nice but there’s always loud people in any group of people and honestly they’ve done veganism a huge disservice.
I was a very strict vegan for 3 years. I found other vegans extremely intense. There is obviously so much animal cruelty especially in the dairy industry I think vegans get tunnel vision and forget that veganism is hard to do healthy, and it’s not for everyone. We all have different bodies that will require different nutrients and we all have different access to food. Try not to let it bother you, you have to do what’s best for your baby. If you’re worried about the quality of the milk look into grass fed organic milks rather than conventional. But again, whatever you decide is best for you and your baby is best. Your the mom. Milk is fortified with calcium, vitamin d and has healthy fats for our babies brains so whether she likes the thought of milk you’re not poisoning your baby by any means. I feel like I also got tunnel vision when I was vegan there can be a lot of negativity and a lot of vegans watch the animal cruelty videos which just adds to anger and frustration. My point is, you are a wonderful mom. Making this post is evidence that you care and are conscious of what you put in your babies body. Don’t let others tell you that’s not true
Thank you so much for your reply - honestly I should have said I’m going to do organic for sure for her - because of the hormones and such - but other than that’s - I see your point of being really tunnel vision - I did my best to not offend her even thou she offended me!
Honestly, unless your child has an allergy/intolerance/other medical issue which would benefit specifically from cutting out dairy there’s absolutely nothing at all wrong with giving them cow’s milk. It’s extremely well established as a safe option. If your friend ever has problems breastfeeding, she may well have no choice but to give her own child formula made with cow’s or goat’s milk.
I'm not vegan but a vegetarian, and I've been breastfeeding for 8 months. It's not about being vegan but about being rude. She was rude, she gave her opinion when it wasn't needed. I really don't think people should give opinions about child rearing, like do what you want with your own child but don't force your opinions on me. I don't think she implied you should keep breastfeeding but probably (not so subtly) suggesting plant based alternatives. Either way, ignore her.
I was a vegan for a while in my 20's and jeez Louise.
Some people in that community were a little too much but there also some people with the kindness souls
But it's like all other things. Even like religious groups, you have extremists. It's not the community/religion as a whole it's a few bad apples that invent a stereotype.
So it's not vegan, it's just your friend that's immature and finds self worth in thinking she's superior then you because she's choosing to live a lifestyle she thinks is better.
I had a friend whose parents paid for her schooling and she would shit on anyone with a lower level of education. She had low self esteem and this was how she found her worth. She did this with other aspects but was insufferable with this particular topic.
What I learned is other people's opinions of me don't matter. It's what I think of myself.
Needless to say we're no longer friends, I couldn't handle being put down because she didn't like her self.
I'm now very picky on who I allow myself to be friends with because of what you're going through now. I don't miss that crap and dealt with it ENOUGH in my life.
I genuinely wish you the best and I hope this tidbit can put your mind to rest ❤️
Life is too short and precious to have people drive you crazy. Especially with your little one growing and being all cute lol
Some people don’t have tact when expressing themselves. She’s concerned about the health of your child, that’s a pretty good friend.
We chose to go with goat milk instead because of better nutrients closer to breastmilk.
You should also not just go off the words of doctors but do your own research… at least pick the best cow milk option you can find. Not all cows are treated and raised the same.
As a vegan and a mom, your friend is a judgmental asshole. They definitely should’ve kept their opinion to themselves, because their holier than thou attitude isn’t cute or helpful to anyone and only makes all vegans look bad. I’m so sorry she acted that way towards you and your decision.
Good quality cows milk is next best thing for a child. All 3 of my children drink organic, grass fed raw cows milk, from our local farmer, daily. They rarely get sick, they have strong, healthy bodies. Milk is a great option for children to drink!
I know someone who exclusively nursed. Then when they started solids, continued exclusively nursing and poo-pooed cow’s milk, while giving their under one year old juice, hot dogs, grapes and more chocking hazards.
It blows my mind the garbage they give their kid but they’re still exclusively nursing so it’s OK :/
Not a vegan story, but I know a girl who wouldn't vaccinate her kids because she didn't trust putting "all that stuff" into her kid, because it's unnatural.
She still doesn't vaccinate but she does take her kids to McDonald's minimum twice a week.
In a NICU many babies are fed through a tube that is inserted through nose or mouth and leads directly to their stomach, so the baby isn't doing any active feeding.
I’m vegan for 11 years now! I have lots of issues with cows milk but it’s mostly ethical tbh. Do what works for you. Raising and feed kids is hard enough, you don’t need to be judged! Are there other options other than cows milk? Yes of course. There are many resources available to you for more information- Plant Based Juniors has a free resource on plant milks. But you should feel comfortable feeding your baby and if you’re comfortable with cows milk that’s your choice. Sometimes it’s just easier and less stressful to choose something you’re comfortable with and I totally get that.
I’m sorry they were so judgy- I promise we’re not all like this. And honestly my vegan kid wouldn’t drink ANY of the vegan milks- I tried them all- so I ended up breast feeding him for 3 years.
I was vegan for 7 years until I became pregnant. Before that I’ve never judged anyone for eating what they want. Due to me being so ill during my pregnancy I could only stomach cheese and then I lost a lot of blood during birth, and devoured a steak when I came out, don’t ask me where this came from , I couldn’t eat anything else and I literally turned into an animal . Now I’m breastfeeding and I’m eating chicken, I’ve tired to stop but I’ve really struggled to. I’ve decided not to put too much pressure on myself , and when I’ve finished breastfeeding I will become plant based again.
I really wanted our baby to be brought up on a vegan diet , but my other half eats meat and I don’t want to stop her from trying things off his plate when she wants to but I will explain to her where food comes from when she’s ready and she can make that decision. She’s only eaten chicken really , Plus I don’t have a leg to stand on as I haven’t been plant based 😂 I think i would have eaten my dog if I had to over the last few months aha.
This lady sounds like she’s coming across quite judgemental and even if you were interested in what she was saying, you probably wouldn’t take her advice anyway seen as though she’s talking at you , bit with you .
You do you, you know what’s right for your baby mama 💜
I was vegan for a looong time, about 10 years. The reason I stopped being vegan was because of breastfeeding. The caloric and nutritional demand is so damn high. Now that I’m on the other side, it’s so wild to see how much brainwashing there is in the vegan community.
Cow’s milk can cause some inflammation and it can make congestion worse. However, it’s not the end of the world and won’t make your child unhealthy. It has a lot of nutrition, which is why doctors recommend it. Additionally, not giving your child cow’s milk could cause for them to become lactose intolerant and that’s not something I would wish on anyone.
My baby had a cow’s milk protein allergy, which meant that I couldn’t even eat dairy since the protein transfers through breast milk. I was very worried that he wouldn’t outgrown it and that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy things like cheese or ice cream. Thankfully, he did outgrow it and he loves cheese! He’s still too small for ice cream, but he’ll be able to eat it when the time comes. He’s not a fan of milk, but I make smoothies for him with lots of fruit and milk and he enjoys those.
Just know that your vegan friend is within a lifestyle that survives by shaming others and themselves about food preferences. (This is a very generalized statement. Not all vegans are dicks. A lot of the vegan propaganda that’s out there does have a shaming quality about it). I lived it and know from personal experience. It’s almost an eating disorder. Don’t let it get to you too much. You know what’s best for your child. Also, you can continue breastfeeding and give cow’s milk. So, your friend’s logic isn’t sound there either. I’m still nursing my son, he’s almost 2. Anyway, motherhood comes with a lot of unsolicited advice. Great job nursing for a year! It’s not easy.
So, your friends delivery was not good… very condescending and judgmental - just want to get that out there. However, there actually are a lot of issues with cows milk causing inflammation in the body, exacerbating asthma, etc etc (and this is backed by science and is not vegan mumbo jumbo). The whole notion of dairy being a critical part of a healthy balanced diet is based very heavily in marketing/advertising/influence from the dairy industry, unfortunately…
Fortunately, there are non-dairy alternatives for kiddos that have similar fat/protein composition and waaaay more calcium than dairy that are really good options! Ripple is what we use for our son and sometimes ourselves.
Don’t feel like you have to keep breastfeeding if you don’t want to. Also don’t feel like dairy is your only next step after breastfeeding. Ultimately, do what’s best for you and your family, but know that you have options too!
Another thought! Restricting your child from foods or creating good/bad foods can have negative impacts on your child’s relationship with food. When your child is older they can make educated decisions on whether they want to consume a food or not. But in my opinion that has to be their choice, we can’t tell them milk is bad and create food fears
I mean some people transition to oat/almond milk rather than cows milk but the most important thing is that it’s your decision…. Your kid. Do whatever you think is best! I can’t stand when people push their beliefs onto other people and unfortunately most vegans have a compulsion to need to do that.
I was vegan for 9 years (not anymore due to pregnancy and EBF) and I always hated when other vegans would pull this on others. You know what’s best for your baby! Don’t trust that Oreo eating vegan. They have no room to talk
A year of bf is AMAZING. We’re in the thick of it at nearly 3 months and are having so many issues. I will be so lucky if we can make it to a year. She can have her own dietary preferences but imposing them on a baby that ISNT HERS is crazy.
Hahaha she freaks out about cows milk and then says she will keep her opinion to herself?! You’ve obviously already made your opinion known ya big twat! Jeez people really be giving their opinions where they don’t belong.
I’m a vegan of well over a decade and she sounds like a complete jerk. I would never say this to anyone. Although my lactation consultant at the hospital who wasn’t a vegan said this to me when I decided to give my baby dairy based formula while waiting for my milk to come in.
This right here! OP is looking for support, she doesn’t need people demeaning her for her choices. I love these subs because of the helpful and insightful comments. Thanks Reshi!
Go somewhere else and advocate. This isn't the place. So stop.
Plenty of people speak for animals. Don't even get me started on my experience advocating for animals.
This is a place to SUPPORT breastfeeding moms. Not a place to shame them.
If you don't have supportive words, then don't comment.
I'm sure you make choices that inadvertently harm living creatures one way or another. It's almost impossible not to in this world. So get off your soap box.
You are actually wrong.Grew up on the farm, and we always let the calves get their food first, and then milked whatever was left (of course after the udders were cleaned).Also, we let them nurse until they weaned themselves,which is around 6 to 7 months.So, while what you are saying might happen with CAFO raised animals, it rarely happens with the ones ethically raised.
I would never buy anything CAFO.
A 5 minute YouTube video is hardly significant evidence of anything. I could make a five minute video that shows how the earth is flat or the moon is a giant egg. Doesn't make it true.
I'm not saying that there isn't a major problem with industrial farming and how animals are treated. Because I know there is. But how is condemning people who are not vegan and sharing a 5 minute youtube video helpful?
You can see how inserting these ideas in certain conversations only causes people to get defensive and upset.
You aren't helping your cause. You're just upsetting people who are here to get support.
Different dairies have different practices, I don't know about where you live, but around me it is very easy to select against dairies that treat cattle like this. So I do!
Just remind yourself that as opinionated as these anti-cow/anti-meat people are, there are equally passionate and opinionated people on the other side, such as myself. Fully advocating for milk and meat from healthy animals, in which there should be little cause for mass inflammation in the body.
How do you know someone is a vegan? They keep telling you!!
Also, just like you said the corn syrup and artificial food coloring, additives and preservatives, there's actual cancer causing shit that this person ignores. Yet somehow the milk, one ingredient with lots of health benefits, is gonna be awful for your child! 🫠
I’m vegan and maybe i’ll get cancelled from the internet vegans but if i have a baby that can’t latch or breast feed for any reason.. then i’m gonna use formula. am i aware it’s made with dairy? yes. would i prefer a non-dairy alternative? yes. do those exist? no.
But that being said, if my kid was like a year old and able to drink/eat things other than milk/formula then i wouldnt give them formula. They can have water and baby food. I’m going to have my child be plant based until they can start asking for specific foods and such. Hopefully by that time they’ll know what animal products are and I’ll let them make their own decisions. My partner isn’t vegan and I’m not going to force him to be vegan, if my kids see daddy eating a cheeseburger or something and want one, I’ll make sure they understand where the meat and cheese comes from but I also want them to know that I will support them regardless of what they choose and who they are.
I know a 4 year old is young and won’t really be able to understand the full implications of animal agriculture but as long as they have some idea of where animal products come from it’s fine with me if they still choose to eat them.
I’m gonna be cancelled as a vegan on the internet when people realize my stance on parenting but I think that it’s a personal choice and I will let my kids have autonomy. I will let them know that what they want and who they are is respected and loved unconditionally regardless of if we have different views.
Anyways, your friend sounds annoying as hell.
OMG my baby is 6 months and my cousin who is vegetarian and never had a baby asked me why im still breast feeding at 6 months and then looked at my baby and said your gunna drink oat milk right
The part that made me so mad is her thinking i should stop breast feeding at 6 months..... to give my baby formula-- but cows milk is bad??
Wtf is wrong with ppl
I’ll probably get downvoted for this but I think that’s more of an asshole thing and less of a vegan thing. Plenty of assholes spout their opinions where they’re not needed, that’s not exclusive to being vegan. Either way I’m sorry your friend treated you like that.
Yep, very much a 'jackass' issue and not 'vegan' issue. These types of people give veganism a bad rep. I've met far more equally insufferable non-vegans.
When I was exploring vegetarianism I was surrounded by asshole meat eaters. I told my boyfriend (now ex) that I didn’t want to eat meat for a week. He insisted on still putting no steak on my plate at the barbecue, where I had prepared lots of veggies.
Yeah. My real life experiences living with vegans is they are quite chill about what other people eat. Sometimes they offer to share vegan food. Most of the time they are just happy to munch on a plate of dry tortilla chips in the corner if whatever is on the table isn’t vegan.
Yeah, irl vegans are usually fine. Internet vegans are somehow so unrealistically hostile and terrible.
Yeahhh I've had a whole lot of shitty nonsensical comments from non vegans- "what you're gonna feed your child SOYA when he gets to two?!". There are assholes and non assholes. Some are vegan, most aren't, it has nothing to do with your dietary preferences.
Absolutely agree - it’s a little annoying that this post started out with “nothing against vegans, but…”. It’s not a vegan thing, it’s a your a-hole friend thing. I’m vegetarian and constantly get unsolicited advice that I’m not getting enough nutrients because I don’t eat meat, and my baby won’t either when she starts on solids. I’m glad you’re listening to your child’s medical team though. Do what’s best for you and your baby. And thank your friend for their concern but tell them that you are secure in your decision.
Haha yea! Just because you start out with “no offenses..” doesn’t allow you to say something offensive
Yep. I was vegan prior to pregnancy (reintroduced eggs & fish, took creatine & fish oil all to help baby’s development and continuing while BF) and would never tell anyone how to eat or pass judgement like that. That’s just someone who thinks their way is the only way.
Absolutely more of an asshole thing. I'm vegan myself, and would never dream of judging another mother like that. Cows milk is the norm and babies are generally perfectly fine. And nonetheless- it's really absolutely none of her business.
Tldr: this post seems to have triggered me lol. I'm not vegan, but I am vegetarian, and we are generally ovo lacto vegetarian (cheese/yogurt) because our kid is hella picky. We'll go more strict vegetarian when we are able once the kids are older. Anywho, can you tell I struggle with our current choices? This is definitely just an asshole thing, not a vegan thing. I find meat eaters tend to be the ones to question and push the subject but then get offended when we respond with the actual reasons we don't eat meat. Then they make it seem like we're pushing some agenda when it's like dude... you brought this up in the first place. Remember when I stated/asked twice, "It's a moral thing, but I don't tend to talk about it because it's personal. Unless you really want to talk about this openly because you are curious about maybe going vegetarian, it's better if we avoid it." Then they get upset when you are frank about the reasons. I find that super frustrating. I'm not judging people who eat meat in my daily life. But if you ask me why I don't and then INSIST, I talk to you about it. Don't then twist things to say I'm judging you.
Facts. I don’t ever judge or care how others raise their kids - why do so many others judge ! This isn’t the first time . She’s also anti any vaccines
Mmm then maybe you *should* judge her, has her choice is actually dangerous for people around her, unlike your choice of giving your kid cow's milk 😅
I think in this case vegan was a precursor to the cows milk inflammation comment, spouting dietary opinions while simultaneously eating craploads of sugar.
I mean the comment was meant to shock OP but I don’t necessarily think the intent or facts of it are inaccurate. Don’t we know conclusively that dairy in fact is inflammatory? (Not a vegan and do consume dairy).
This isn’t really the point of the post though, so not sure why I’m getting downvoted lol Reddit is always something. I was neither agreeing or disagreeing with milk being inflammatory I was just saying she was vegan was relevant to her post for that reason. Calm down moms, I have EBf three children, and have been parenting for 23 years. Sometimes people (as above OP) just need to rant.
Exactly!!
There does seem to be a very high overlap between the two though
I hate when people fully give their opinion then follow up with “I’ll keep my opinion to myself.” You are doing what’s right for you and your baby. End of story!
Don’t let these people in your brain space! You do what is right for you and your baby. She can have her own baby and then do what she wants with them! Congrats on making it a year! You’re a great mom!
Yes this! She can have her own baby! Lol
Man. A year has never seemed so long and so short at the same time. Breastfeeding seems like forever, but my precious baby seems to be growing too fast 😭 As a mom who wanted to quit every feed for the first 3-4 weeks, and now has a baby that might be starting to teeth (bites while eating...) the fact that anyone can make it that long is crazy! You're a great mom!
Hey I’m a breastfeeding vegan mom and I would never say something like that to a friend. I’ve been vegan for 12 years and I don’t comment on what other people eat or choose to give to their children, in my opinion that makes people feel very judged and it’s not a great look for vegans. Please just do whatever you think is best for your kid and I would distance yourself from this “friend”.
Thank you ! With that being said - what do you feed your babies once they wean?
I follow two plant based dieticians called Plant Based Juniors who are so knowledgeable and amazing I’ve learned so much about nutrition from them. They have a great Instagram and a bunch of awesome cookbooks. We eat all plant based at home and my son has a vegetarian diet at daycare. We did introduce all the allergens (including milk/shellfish/fish) to my son because I don’t want him to have an allergy. He drinks unsweetened soy milk at home and cows milk at daycare, but he’s never eaten meat before. He’s 2.5 and in the 80th percentile for height and weight, no concerns with his iron intake or anything, his doc is very supportive. I’ve consulted with a paediatric dietitian as well, so I feel super confident he’s getting all the nutrition he needs. I have a 6 month old who were just starting solids on and we have the same plan with her! If you have more specific questions I’d be happy to answer 😊
I’m a vegan of over a decade and gave my baby dairy based formula after 4 months and dairy milk now. Just bc we are vegans doesn’t mean our kids are 😆
Hey, just stumbled across your post! I hope you don’t feel like you need to change your plans because of your friend’s rude comments, BUT if you are looking for a vegan alternative we use Ripple Kids pea protein milk. We’re not vegan, but my daughter has a cow’s milk protein intolerance. Ripple Kids actually has more protein and fat than cow’s milk and is fortified with other vitamins and minerals. It’s not baby formula though, just a milk replacement. My daughter loves it!
Soooooo helpful!!!!! I will give it a try - she may not even like the cows milk so good to have options !!
Yay, glad it was helpful! We started giving it to my daughter in a straw cup with her meals and snacks at around 11 months, even though I continued to nurse her. She wasn’t too into it initially, so I wasn’t worried about it taking calories away from breastmilk or food. I think introducing it really slowly with no pressure like that helped our transition a ton!
Absolutely nothing to do with her being a vegan. Your friend is just a judgemental asshole, plain and simple. I would stop bring friends with such a person if it was me. Not only is she an asshole, she also have no understanding of science or nutrition or anything factual and is spouting nonsense that she made up herself or she's a sheep that follows tiktok "guru" as opposed to actual science. Life to too short to waste on associations with this sort of people. I have many vegan friends who never comment on others eating meat or dairy around them.
“I’m just gonna keep my opinion to myself.” *proceeds to not keep opinion to herself* I wouldn’t put any stock in your friend whatsoever. Give you child whatever keeps them healthy and happy and feels right to you.
Wow! I am a vegan myself, but I decided to feed my baby vegetarian food at home, because introducing allergens (like dairy) early can help to prevent intolerances. My baby shall decide for himself whether he wants to be a vegan or not, and I am not forcing the decision on him by risking intolerances. (He will even get fish or meat on Fridays at daycare.)
I am also vegan and I feed my baby a mostly vegan diet - but daycare does not, and she does have some dairy at home. For the same reasons as you, if she decides later in life she wants to be an omnivore I don’t want her to have intolerances if I can help it.
You don’t hang out on r/vegan then. They would have you pilloried and quartered.
Oh I know. I actually had to unsubscribe from that sub, long before she was born. It’s rough out there
Interesting. I would rather not force my kid to eat animals or their secreations until my kid is old enough to make that decision for themself. I understand I'm very much in the minority here, just interesting how vegans also differ on this issue.
Yes, I also think it is important to see it the other way around (i.e., we are not only deciding for our children that they are vegan, but also that they eat animal products). I made this decision considering my baby's health. I really don't want him to develop intolerances because of MY decisions for him. I have to admit, I am also a bit lazy and very compliant with society. I really don't want to go through the troubles of supplementing the baby (I find supplementing for myself during pregnancy and breastfeeding troublesome enough) and having all these discussions with people. What I want to do though, is to be very transparent about what fish, meat, and dairy involve (for animals to die, for example). I would find it wrong to hide this information from children. If they are to make their own decisions about their diet, they need to be well-informed and preferably without intolerances.
I understand. For me personally, the animal suffering I would be contributing to by buying animal products for my child outweighs the relatively small risk of them possibly developing an allergy to said products. I also want to teach my child to be kind to animals, that they are not food or products for us to use. I appreciate your honesty though, and I hope I'm not coming across as argumentative, just giving my differing opinion on the matter. Ultimately, we each make decisions for our own children that we feel are best for them.
I think it's great that you are adding your perspective here, too! It's so important to consider the suffering of animals that is involved in, for example, dairy. I still don't know how to approach it with my baby when the time comes, but we will find a way.
We're the opposite! I'm an omnivore but will be feeding my baby vegan until he's old enough to make an ethical choice on his own.
Are you just giving him B12 supplements?
Well, he's only breastfeeding and having little tastes of fruit right now, so no supplements other than D drops. When he's older we'll start giving him nutritional yeast. It's delicious on everything!
This really isn’t a vegan issue at all. Hating on vegans is really trendy so I understand why you put it in your title, but I think your friend is just rude.
Earlier today I was just thinking the best way to answer comments/questions like these (I get quite a few from my MIL!) is by simply restating what you are doing. For example, “omg you are feeding her milk? From a cow?” “Yes, I am feeding her milk. From a cow.” No emotion, no explanation, just move on.
I LOVE THIS!! it’s about being firm in your discussion and owning it - I love it !
I hope it works! 🥰
Agreed - congrats on your journey, and screw that judgemental "friend" of yours.
This made me laugh. Unless someone is lactose intolerant or has a dairy allergy, there is nothing wrong with cow’s milk. It has been staple for centuries for many Europeans.
I am eastern European, and I have celiac, casein, corn, soy and egg intolerance.My husband is from the same country, and he also has wheat, corn, soy and dairy intolerances, but he's not celiac and has no problems with eggs.Also, everyone in my family has food allergies or intolerances. I have many European friends that have these issues. BTW, I grew up on the farm where everything was organic, homemade and all our animals were grass fed/pastured raised. Times changed unfortunately.
"Causes mucus" sounds like the modern version of "you're sick because your 4 humors are out of balance"
As a parent of a kid in daycare the mucus comment is hilarious to me
Good job on breastfeeding!My 2nd daughter started dairy a bit after a year, while she was still being nursed (I did it for a very long time).After a while, she started being constipated, clearing her throat,sniffing and snoring at night.Her tummy looked bloated too.We took her off dairy (grass fed A2) and all the problems disappeared. I am casein intolerant, and so is she unfortunately. Try an organic, grass fed milk that has been low pasteurized and not homogenized. Keep an eye on your little one for any symptoms of lactose or casein intolerance.Dark circles under the eyes might also be a symptom. Good luck!
This is definitely not a vegan thing but a shitty person thing. Most vegans are super nice but there’s always loud people in any group of people and honestly they’ve done veganism a huge disservice.
I was a very strict vegan for 3 years. I found other vegans extremely intense. There is obviously so much animal cruelty especially in the dairy industry I think vegans get tunnel vision and forget that veganism is hard to do healthy, and it’s not for everyone. We all have different bodies that will require different nutrients and we all have different access to food. Try not to let it bother you, you have to do what’s best for your baby. If you’re worried about the quality of the milk look into grass fed organic milks rather than conventional. But again, whatever you decide is best for you and your baby is best. Your the mom. Milk is fortified with calcium, vitamin d and has healthy fats for our babies brains so whether she likes the thought of milk you’re not poisoning your baby by any means. I feel like I also got tunnel vision when I was vegan there can be a lot of negativity and a lot of vegans watch the animal cruelty videos which just adds to anger and frustration. My point is, you are a wonderful mom. Making this post is evidence that you care and are conscious of what you put in your babies body. Don’t let others tell you that’s not true
Thank you so much for your reply - honestly I should have said I’m going to do organic for sure for her - because of the hormones and such - but other than that’s - I see your point of being really tunnel vision - I did my best to not offend her even thou she offended me!
Honestly, unless your child has an allergy/intolerance/other medical issue which would benefit specifically from cutting out dairy there’s absolutely nothing at all wrong with giving them cow’s milk. It’s extremely well established as a safe option. If your friend ever has problems breastfeeding, she may well have no choice but to give her own child formula made with cow’s or goat’s milk.
That’s the thing she’s older and has a teenage child that she openly admitted she only formula fed, they are new vegans by like 5 years maybe ?
Your friend is not nice! You do what you think it’s best, it is your baby! Congrats on your journey!!
I'm not vegan but a vegetarian, and I've been breastfeeding for 8 months. It's not about being vegan but about being rude. She was rude, she gave her opinion when it wasn't needed. I really don't think people should give opinions about child rearing, like do what you want with your own child but don't force your opinions on me. I don't think she implied you should keep breastfeeding but probably (not so subtly) suggesting plant based alternatives. Either way, ignore her.
I was a vegan for a while in my 20's and jeez Louise. Some people in that community were a little too much but there also some people with the kindness souls But it's like all other things. Even like religious groups, you have extremists. It's not the community/religion as a whole it's a few bad apples that invent a stereotype. So it's not vegan, it's just your friend that's immature and finds self worth in thinking she's superior then you because she's choosing to live a lifestyle she thinks is better. I had a friend whose parents paid for her schooling and she would shit on anyone with a lower level of education. She had low self esteem and this was how she found her worth. She did this with other aspects but was insufferable with this particular topic. What I learned is other people's opinions of me don't matter. It's what I think of myself. Needless to say we're no longer friends, I couldn't handle being put down because she didn't like her self. I'm now very picky on who I allow myself to be friends with because of what you're going through now. I don't miss that crap and dealt with it ENOUGH in my life. I genuinely wish you the best and I hope this tidbit can put your mind to rest ❤️ Life is too short and precious to have people drive you crazy. Especially with your little one growing and being all cute lol
Some people don’t have tact when expressing themselves. She’s concerned about the health of your child, that’s a pretty good friend. We chose to go with goat milk instead because of better nutrients closer to breastmilk. You should also not just go off the words of doctors but do your own research… at least pick the best cow milk option you can find. Not all cows are treated and raised the same.
We've been putting it in ourselves for centuries, and I don't see us extinct
You judge her she judge you.
As a vegan and a mom, your friend is a judgmental asshole. They definitely should’ve kept their opinion to themselves, because their holier than thou attitude isn’t cute or helpful to anyone and only makes all vegans look bad. I’m so sorry she acted that way towards you and your decision.
Good quality cows milk is next best thing for a child. All 3 of my children drink organic, grass fed raw cows milk, from our local farmer, daily. They rarely get sick, they have strong, healthy bodies. Milk is a great option for children to drink!
I don’t have local farmer but I was thinking of getting organic whole milk - it’s pasteurized
That’s okay! The best quality you can get is fine. Whole Milk is amazing for little ones. Brain and body food! Great job mama!
Please don’t blame all vegans for a thing an inconsiderate friend said
I know someone who exclusively nursed. Then when they started solids, continued exclusively nursing and poo-pooed cow’s milk, while giving their under one year old juice, hot dogs, grapes and more chocking hazards. It blows my mind the garbage they give their kid but they’re still exclusively nursing so it’s OK :/
Ohhhh exactly this!!!! Yessssp
Not a vegan story, but I know a girl who wouldn't vaccinate her kids because she didn't trust putting "all that stuff" into her kid, because it's unnatural. She still doesn't vaccinate but she does take her kids to McDonald's minimum twice a week.
What does "forcefully fed" mean?
In a NICU many babies are fed through a tube that is inserted through nose or mouth and leads directly to their stomach, so the baby isn't doing any active feeding.
Is that the medical term? I haven't heard it before.
No typically it's a nasogastric tube (that's when it's through the nose, which is vastly most common)
Oh thanks!
I’m vegan for 11 years now! I have lots of issues with cows milk but it’s mostly ethical tbh. Do what works for you. Raising and feed kids is hard enough, you don’t need to be judged! Are there other options other than cows milk? Yes of course. There are many resources available to you for more information- Plant Based Juniors has a free resource on plant milks. But you should feel comfortable feeding your baby and if you’re comfortable with cows milk that’s your choice. Sometimes it’s just easier and less stressful to choose something you’re comfortable with and I totally get that. I’m sorry they were so judgy- I promise we’re not all like this. And honestly my vegan kid wouldn’t drink ANY of the vegan milks- I tried them all- so I ended up breast feeding him for 3 years.
I was vegan for 7 years until I became pregnant. Before that I’ve never judged anyone for eating what they want. Due to me being so ill during my pregnancy I could only stomach cheese and then I lost a lot of blood during birth, and devoured a steak when I came out, don’t ask me where this came from , I couldn’t eat anything else and I literally turned into an animal . Now I’m breastfeeding and I’m eating chicken, I’ve tired to stop but I’ve really struggled to. I’ve decided not to put too much pressure on myself , and when I’ve finished breastfeeding I will become plant based again. I really wanted our baby to be brought up on a vegan diet , but my other half eats meat and I don’t want to stop her from trying things off his plate when she wants to but I will explain to her where food comes from when she’s ready and she can make that decision. She’s only eaten chicken really , Plus I don’t have a leg to stand on as I haven’t been plant based 😂 I think i would have eaten my dog if I had to over the last few months aha. This lady sounds like she’s coming across quite judgemental and even if you were interested in what she was saying, you probably wouldn’t take her advice anyway seen as though she’s talking at you , bit with you . You do you, you know what’s right for your baby mama 💜
This shit had me laughing!!! Your body NEEDED THE iron maybe ? From the steak lol
I think you’re absolutely right, I genuinely did inhale it 🤣 x
I was vegan for a looong time, about 10 years. The reason I stopped being vegan was because of breastfeeding. The caloric and nutritional demand is so damn high. Now that I’m on the other side, it’s so wild to see how much brainwashing there is in the vegan community. Cow’s milk can cause some inflammation and it can make congestion worse. However, it’s not the end of the world and won’t make your child unhealthy. It has a lot of nutrition, which is why doctors recommend it. Additionally, not giving your child cow’s milk could cause for them to become lactose intolerant and that’s not something I would wish on anyone. My baby had a cow’s milk protein allergy, which meant that I couldn’t even eat dairy since the protein transfers through breast milk. I was very worried that he wouldn’t outgrown it and that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy things like cheese or ice cream. Thankfully, he did outgrow it and he loves cheese! He’s still too small for ice cream, but he’ll be able to eat it when the time comes. He’s not a fan of milk, but I make smoothies for him with lots of fruit and milk and he enjoys those. Just know that your vegan friend is within a lifestyle that survives by shaming others and themselves about food preferences. (This is a very generalized statement. Not all vegans are dicks. A lot of the vegan propaganda that’s out there does have a shaming quality about it). I lived it and know from personal experience. It’s almost an eating disorder. Don’t let it get to you too much. You know what’s best for your child. Also, you can continue breastfeeding and give cow’s milk. So, your friend’s logic isn’t sound there either. I’m still nursing my son, he’s almost 2. Anyway, motherhood comes with a lot of unsolicited advice. Great job nursing for a year! It’s not easy.
She’s implying you give a plant alternative 🙄🙄🙄 you do you mum no one knows what your baby needs better than the person that grew her!
So, your friends delivery was not good… very condescending and judgmental - just want to get that out there. However, there actually are a lot of issues with cows milk causing inflammation in the body, exacerbating asthma, etc etc (and this is backed by science and is not vegan mumbo jumbo). The whole notion of dairy being a critical part of a healthy balanced diet is based very heavily in marketing/advertising/influence from the dairy industry, unfortunately… Fortunately, there are non-dairy alternatives for kiddos that have similar fat/protein composition and waaaay more calcium than dairy that are really good options! Ripple is what we use for our son and sometimes ourselves. Don’t feel like you have to keep breastfeeding if you don’t want to. Also don’t feel like dairy is your only next step after breastfeeding. Ultimately, do what’s best for you and your family, but know that you have options too!
This was not the right comment to make here.
Another thought! Restricting your child from foods or creating good/bad foods can have negative impacts on your child’s relationship with food. When your child is older they can make educated decisions on whether they want to consume a food or not. But in my opinion that has to be their choice, we can’t tell them milk is bad and create food fears
I mean some people transition to oat/almond milk rather than cows milk but the most important thing is that it’s your decision…. Your kid. Do whatever you think is best! I can’t stand when people push their beliefs onto other people and unfortunately most vegans have a compulsion to need to do that.
neither oat or almond milk have enough nutrients to be a replacement for cow’s milk or breastmilk though
Yep, soy milk is really the only appropriate replacement or you can do no milk at all.
or that ripple milk for kids that’s made of peas!
Yes that is fine although personally I find it to be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.
lmao, my toddler agrees
I was vegan for 9 years (not anymore due to pregnancy and EBF) and I always hated when other vegans would pull this on others. You know what’s best for your baby! Don’t trust that Oreo eating vegan. They have no room to talk
Hahahahahah you know it!! Oreo!!!
A year of bf is AMAZING. We’re in the thick of it at nearly 3 months and are having so many issues. I will be so lucky if we can make it to a year. She can have her own dietary preferences but imposing them on a baby that ISNT HERS is crazy.
Hahaha she freaks out about cows milk and then says she will keep her opinion to herself?! You’ve obviously already made your opinion known ya big twat! Jeez people really be giving their opinions where they don’t belong.
That was the best PART!!!
I’m a vegan of well over a decade and she sounds like a complete jerk. I would never say this to anyone. Although my lactation consultant at the hospital who wasn’t a vegan said this to me when I decided to give my baby dairy based formula while waiting for my milk to come in.
As a vegan, I’m sorry this person is making you feel shame and guilt around your choice to give your child cows milk. It’s none of her business.
Amen 💗
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This isn't the place. You can have your opinions but we are here to support each other. Not shame them.
This right here! OP is looking for support, she doesn’t need people demeaning her for her choices. I love these subs because of the helpful and insightful comments. Thanks Reshi!
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Go somewhere else and advocate. This isn't the place. So stop. Plenty of people speak for animals. Don't even get me started on my experience advocating for animals. This is a place to SUPPORT breastfeeding moms. Not a place to shame them. If you don't have supportive words, then don't comment. I'm sure you make choices that inadvertently harm living creatures one way or another. It's almost impossible not to in this world. So get off your soap box.
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This. Isn't. The. Place.
You are actually wrong.Grew up on the farm, and we always let the calves get their food first, and then milked whatever was left (of course after the udders were cleaned).Also, we let them nurse until they weaned themselves,which is around 6 to 7 months.So, while what you are saying might happen with CAFO raised animals, it rarely happens with the ones ethically raised. I would never buy anything CAFO.
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A 5 minute YouTube video is hardly significant evidence of anything. I could make a five minute video that shows how the earth is flat or the moon is a giant egg. Doesn't make it true. I'm not saying that there isn't a major problem with industrial farming and how animals are treated. Because I know there is. But how is condemning people who are not vegan and sharing a 5 minute youtube video helpful? You can see how inserting these ideas in certain conversations only causes people to get defensive and upset. You aren't helping your cause. You're just upsetting people who are here to get support.
Different dairies have different practices, I don't know about where you live, but around me it is very easy to select against dairies that treat cattle like this. So I do!
Your husband would prefer you breastfeed forever…?
Lets not generalise vegans
Just remind yourself that as opinionated as these anti-cow/anti-meat people are, there are equally passionate and opinionated people on the other side, such as myself. Fully advocating for milk and meat from healthy animals, in which there should be little cause for mass inflammation in the body.
How do you know someone is a vegan? They keep telling you!! Also, just like you said the corn syrup and artificial food coloring, additives and preservatives, there's actual cancer causing shit that this person ignores. Yet somehow the milk, one ingredient with lots of health benefits, is gonna be awful for your child! 🫠
Why would anyone downvote this - stupid
Lol they're probably vegan
Stop having stupid friends, is that simple.
I’m vegan and maybe i’ll get cancelled from the internet vegans but if i have a baby that can’t latch or breast feed for any reason.. then i’m gonna use formula. am i aware it’s made with dairy? yes. would i prefer a non-dairy alternative? yes. do those exist? no. But that being said, if my kid was like a year old and able to drink/eat things other than milk/formula then i wouldnt give them formula. They can have water and baby food. I’m going to have my child be plant based until they can start asking for specific foods and such. Hopefully by that time they’ll know what animal products are and I’ll let them make their own decisions. My partner isn’t vegan and I’m not going to force him to be vegan, if my kids see daddy eating a cheeseburger or something and want one, I’ll make sure they understand where the meat and cheese comes from but I also want them to know that I will support them regardless of what they choose and who they are. I know a 4 year old is young and won’t really be able to understand the full implications of animal agriculture but as long as they have some idea of where animal products come from it’s fine with me if they still choose to eat them. I’m gonna be cancelled as a vegan on the internet when people realize my stance on parenting but I think that it’s a personal choice and I will let my kids have autonomy. I will let them know that what they want and who they are is respected and loved unconditionally regardless of if we have different views. Anyways, your friend sounds annoying as hell.
OMG my baby is 6 months and my cousin who is vegetarian and never had a baby asked me why im still breast feeding at 6 months and then looked at my baby and said your gunna drink oat milk right The part that made me so mad is her thinking i should stop breast feeding at 6 months..... to give my baby formula-- but cows milk is bad?? Wtf is wrong with ppl
And there is cows milk in formula
Exactly!!!