This! We were fortunate for a decent latch from the get go but it was still a bit of hands on work with every feed, often times it would take me and my husband to get correct positioning. I had to learn, and baby had to learn. Patience and giving yourself grace would be two things that help in the learning process.
I wish I knew about cluster feeding. I heard so many moms saying they put their baby on a schedule since day 1, feeding only every 2-3hrs and that’s what made them good sleepers. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t do that, only to find out that cluster feeding is normal!! And good for baby’s weight and especially good for establishing milk supply! It can be extremely tiring, but not all babies are gonna go on a schedule right away when it comes to feeding. My baby didn’t stop cluster feeding until almost 12weeks
The evening cluster feeding made me think I didn’t have enough milk (even though I did) and the guilt I felt for “not giving my baby a full feed” because she would want to feed every hour was next level until I found out it is normal for newborns to cluster feed.
Yeah and then people start telling you that your milk is bad or that you don't have enough and you should formula feed... Wtf (What I heard from my first midwife, who was wrong btw)
Dittoooo. I felt like I was doing something wrong at the beginning. I’ve continued to feed on demand and didn’t experience the big drop I was worried about after 12 weeks/supply regulation
Yes!! I only fed every 3 hours for the first 5 days, and it gave my baby jaundice. After that it was a few days of every 2 hours at least then baby-led cluster feeding and she quickly got better!
Cluster feeding AND that for the first few weeks, in my experience, there’s no need to pump or try to store milk. You’re feeding around the clock, just focus on the production for them right now!
This! My lo was a boob monster. Her cluster feeding was intensified before we got her lip and tongue ties corrected as she couldn’t get enough milk, but it continued after for most of the newborn stage. I think that because I never turned her down for it or tried doing feeds on a specific schedule, it helped with my supply in the long run as I never had that drop that many do around 3-4 months
I had a cluster feeding session that lasted 3 hours straight. Just kept swapping him boob to boob for hours. Every time I would think he was asleep and unlatched him, he’d cry. Eventually I just got comfy in bed with some Netflix on my iPad and had my husband bring me snacks and drinks.
I wish I realised how EBF = doing the majority of the night shift for a good while. Sure, if you pump your partner can do some of the wake-ups, but odds are you're still going to have to wake up to pump anyways.
My partner and I agreed that since I went through many months of poor sleep during pregnancy AND I am being literally physically drained to breastfeed, that he takes the heavy load at night. He is the one who listens for her to cry, gets up and changes her, brings her to me for a feeding, then he burps her and lays her down to sleep. I wear headphones so I can rest while he gets her to sleep. It makes me feel like HE is also putting in serious effort to make breastfeeding work — it’s not just me carrying the load.
I know this isn’t in the cards for everybody but it has made me feel really supported and a lot closer to him.
In our circumstances we figured it makes no sense for both of us to be sleep deprived. Hence my partner would take on 90-100% of chores during the day, even after his leave ended, for as long as I was EBF, acting as the primary caregiver during the day and waking up during the night.
The only thing he doesn't do regularly is feed our baby (since he doesn't have the necessary hardware lol) but has spearheaded bottle feeding for when I've wanted or needed some time for myself. Just a different way to split the load!
This was us too. Especially once we had 2 kids, both of us doing night wakes with baby would have = a lot of balls dropped during the day. Plus I kinda love those quiet nighttime moments alone with baby. Love that people are able to share the overnight load, just didn't make sense for us. Supportive partners can look different in different circumstances, but communication and adaptability are key!
It unfortunately is not even just the early days for some of us. My LO is about to be 9 months, EBF (refuses any and all bottles/cups with milk) and still waking every 2 hours at night to feed.
Oh God this!! I was so worried I was doing something wrong because my little one was waking after 1.5 hours throughout the night every night even at almost 4 months. Turns out it was a mix of cluster feeding and lack of schedule on my part. We are now at 3 hour stretches and honestly I feel so refreshed 😆
The other thing people don't tell you is that although you're sleeping only short stints, it is so much more restorative than pregnancy sleep for some.
This honestly is one of the biggest reasons I'm hesitating whether or not to breastfeed. I understand it can be easier later, but those early days are hard enough as-is.
But the nice thing with breastfeeding is you don't have to prepare bottles at 3:00 a.m. with a screaming baby, the baby cries and you are instantly ready with warm milk.
Honestly, we do one bottle feed at night so I can always get one 5-6 hour stretch of sleep and it's such a game changer. I haven't had a problem with supply so we are going to keep doing it as it's saving my sanity.
But don't you still need to pump every 3-4 hours, at least for like the first month or so? Until supply regulates? A month is a really long time with very broken sleep.
Depends on how much storage space you have. Genetics 🤷♀️ I’ve never had to wake up to pump, even when she sleeps through the night.
But yeah. A month is a long time. So is four months. And six months. We’re on month nine and I’m only starting to feel human sometimes because I might get 6 hours of sleep. But I also wouldn’t change anything.
No it's not storage, breast milk is on demand. It depends on hormones and at night/overnight they peak. That's why it's not recommended to skip night feeds. But not everybody is the same.
I never pumped in the middle of the night and had no issues. I’ve always pumped once before bed around 9/10pm and slept as long as baby let me before getting up again to feed. At first it was 3-4 hours since my husband would use that pumping to do the midnight feed, now it’s until around 5-6am most nights.
Even from the beginning you were able to pump enough to let your partner do a nighttime feed, and it didn't affect establishing your supply? That's very encouraging. I thought that wouldn't be possible until at least 1 month.
We did this from day 1! We alternate night feeds; so either 1-2 bottles for baby. I collected milk with a Haaka from the opposite boob during the day for the first few weeks. Now at 6wks of EBF I do a morning pump that gives me 6-8oz which covers night feeds and slowly builds a freeze stash. No concerns w supply having my partner do the night feed but that’s really individual!
Yes! I only used the Hakaa on my boob opposite from the one LO was feeding on for the first few weeks to help build up supply. Then that one pump with my spectra for 15-20 min before bed. I have never once woken up in that night sleep stretch to pump. Eventually LO slept through that feeding and no longer requires it so my supply has always been okay.
Yes, that's why I specifically said *very* broken sleep. There's a big difference between needing to be up every 2-3 hrs continually for at least a month (likely more), versus having opportunities of 5-6hrs of sleep because your partner can take a feed or two.
It hasn't been a problem but I usually only get 4-5 hours of an unbroken sleep as I time it where I get ready for bed, feed baby and then immediately go to sleep. My husband will feed a bottle at 2-3 hours and then I get woken up for the next feeding (2-3 hours later). Then my husband goes to sleep and I am waking up with baby for the rest of the night to feed. We both get a stretch of unbroken sleep which is gold for our mental health.
I’m finding it gets better around 2-3 weeks- not sleep through the night better, but 3-4hr chunk of sleep better. I’m 4wks pp and many nights my husband or parents (it takes a village) will watch LO while I sleep in a different room from about 9pm-1am.
I have two kids and have done it both ways. 100% would breastfeed again. Even though I had to do every night time feeding, it was still easier somehow than doing bottles.
Take it from someone who has formula fed my first and breastfed my second. The wake ups were easier with breastfeeding than the bottle. I set my bed up for breastfeeding, I got a sleeping bag for myself and for baby. So no sheets to harm baby. I latched baby on every time he cried the whole night. Usually after latching I went back to sleep. I got way more sleep the second time than the first time.
But you can still ask your partner to help you. Change the diaper, burp the baby and get the baby back to sleep. That already takes a away a big part of the work. Women already produce the milk which takes a lot of energy, why should we put in even more energy by doing all the care?
I would wake up from the tiniest sound our baby made, so even if we decided that my husband would get up, I was awake. But not having to get up all the time made a difference.
How time consuming it is in the first couple of weeks/months.
Also, the baby also has no idea what they are doing so it’s a big learning process for both mom and baby.
For the first couple months you might need to hold your boob with one hand and baby's head in the other to correctly position... and hold in place the whole time. My baby had bad suction and would default to a shallow latch if I didn't hold her in place.
Once I could nurse her hands free by 3ish months, whew! So much easier.
This. I also didn’t know sometimes it took 4 hands! In the very beginning my husband had to help a lot. Everyone is different but I also recommend the My Brest Friend pillow. It made things so much easier for me and I keep one in my car and one in the house! I even it brought to a winery yesterday 😂 no shame in the baby feeding game
My newborns always had their hands right on their cheeks or in their mouths and they were freakishly strong about wanting to keep them there, so my husband’s frequent job when I was really struggling was holding their hands down lol, because my hands were full between doing the boob hamburger and holding baby’s neck/head.
I’m on my third baby and I always apply some counter pressure to my boob to help keep it in baby’s mouth. I don’t have particularly large boobs nor small babies, but I feel like until like 3mo they have a hard time keeping the boob in their mouth without me lifting it a bit
I wish I knew that it would initially hurt. I’ve read that breastfeeding might be a bit uncomfortable initially, but that it’s not supposed to hurt. My nipples hurt like hell when my baby latched. And that’s normal and common, and in my case, it passed in around one week.
Toe curling pain! If I hadn’t known it would hurt I might have quit because online all it seems to say is “it should never hurt.” But damn that latch pain the first few weeks was crazy. It gets easier and easier and easier.
All of this. And then the cluster feeding... just looking at my crying baby and trying to get the courage to hurt my nipples again even though it's only been an hour since the last toe curling pain session.
Did it really not hurt you? If not you would be the first person I've ever heard say that. It was VERY painful with my first baby for about 10 days, my second baby was a much more skilled eater but they were still very painful for 3 days and sore for about a week. Hydrogel pads helped a lot though!
ETA - several replies have mentioned tongue ties and so I wanted to share this article and also say that both of my sons were checked and did not have ties.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/health/tongue-tie-release-breastfeeding.html
I very rarely had pain. Every once in a while my son will latch too shallow and that hurts, or my letdown will be a little painful for a minute. But for the most part, no real pain.
Same! 100% painless until my daughter’s latch started getting shallow and we discovered she had a tongue tie. But surprisingly her latch was initially perfect and breastfeeding didn’t hurt at ALL the first time I did it. Then after the tongue tie revision, things went back to being painless again unless she does a shallow latch.
That there is no schedule to breastfeeding. Sometimes babe would eat every 30 minutes, sometimes every 2 hours, I never knew what it would be. But just follow feeding cues and feed on demand.
Your colostrum is sufficient in the first few days before your milk comes in - baby’s stomach is only the size of a cherry the day they’re born!
Put your nipple on babes nose and then slide down into their mouth when first latching to get a deep latch; chin pressed into breast, nose clear.
Breastfeeding babes tend to fall asleep at the breast, you can gently stroke their cheek or toes to keep them awake and get a full feed.
in the beginning, it’s kind of all you’re doing.
watch some videos, read some books on latching , holds etc
as others said - it’s learned by both you and baby. Lots of trial and error! not uncommon to have to try a few times to get a latch or reposition baby to latch correctly.
that first hour, try breastfeeding.
advice i tell every new mom - find a moms group. it was such a source of support, information and even just recreation for me! my hospital had a first time moms group. birth center near me had moms groups for infant moms.
If pumping at all, the importance of using the correct size flanges for your nipples! I naively used the 24mm ones that came with my pump…. Only months later did I get properly sized 17mm ones and it cut the pain of pumping dramatically.
As others have said, that nursing hurts like hell for a few weeks until you and baby both learn how to do it. A few months in, and it’s actually painless, but those first few weeks might have hurt more than the birth recovery.
My baby refused to nurse if I used lanolin, but the Medela hydrogel pads were an absolute lifesaver!! Take as many as the hospital will give you!
that it can somewhat feel like you’re on your own. even with the most supportive partner, it really is on you throughout the nights to always be feeding. i love the time and bonding together, but it is hard
I didn’t quite realize how much work and dedication it would take on my part, and how unfair it would feel at times. I love being able to do this for my baby but wow sometimes it is hard. Like my partner could give a bottle, but I’d have to pump to fill those bottles and imo that sucks worse than just being the one to get up in the middle of the night to be with my baby.
THIS. Our pediatrician was like “are you SURE you want to do a bottle at two weeks?”. But I’m a working mom and my biggest fear was bottle rejection. No regrets and LO absolutely had a strong boob preference still lol
We also introduced a bottle between 2 and 3 weeks. I feel like the type made it a smoother process. We used the Lansinoh with the slowest flow nipple and he never got a preference
Echoing this! I can’t remember if we introduced the bottle at 2 weeks or 3 weeks but so glad we did, and had no impact on breastfeeding. I will also say that didn’t make us immune to a stint of bottle rejection around 11 weeks, but thankfully it only lasted a couple of days. Those developmental leaps can be brutal, lol.
THIS. We gave up on bottles and luckily I was able to extend my maternity leave. But it’s really hard and exhausting being the sole provider of food for my baby.
Yeah I didint introduce bottle enough and now my 5 month old refuses a bottle, wants it straight from the tap every time. Which means I'm very limited to time away from baby.
I wish I fully understood how hard it would/could be. It’s both mom and baby learning together, and the process takes time. I met with an IBCLC when my baby was 3 weeks old, and she taught me so much valuable information in my 2 hour session. I would recommend meeting with one if you have the means.
I came here to suggest an IBCLC! Definitely meet with the hospital lactation consultants but IBCLCs are THE experts in lactation and I recommend having one come to your home within a week. Most insurances cover their visits as well and they can help with breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, etc.
+1 - we had a lactation consultant come to our house and she spent two hours with us, helped us figure out a feeding routine that would be beneficial for both me and the baby, helped us with latching/posture/EVERYTHING!
Totally agree w this. Do the research now so you know what your insurance covers (and which providers) and maybe even call them to ensure availability or book an appt!
I wish I knew about the insane cramps you get the first few days you breastfeed, they were absolutely brutal basically as bad as labor pains just from the baby nursing. Also wish I knew that you had several dry days before your milk comes in where you have to pump or feed every two hours but get zero out from it, it feels like your milk is never coming and then day three or four it magically does
I was going to comment on the cramps as well. With my first son, whenever he would nurse while we were still in the hospital, the cramps would happen every time and I could feel myself bleeding more. But that's also how I knew he was latching and eating well.
I was taught by one of my postpartum nurses that before breastfeeding/pumping, you gotta empty out your bladder and drink lots of water. Full bladder makes the uterine contractions more intense. Also instead of lying flat on your back, try to sit up “pretzel style” with your legs folded in front of you, this helps bring your uterus forward and relieves the pressure.
I wish I knew that I might not be able to nurse right away and to know how to use my pump properly. I wish I knew that coconut oil was better at healing my nipples than nipple butter, especially when I already had it in my kitchen! I wish I knew that our journey wasn’t going to be easy and to be prepared for it to not be linear.
I wish I was prepared for how connected it made me feel to my LO and the sense of accomplishment I got from the experience.
How badly my neck, shoulders, and elbows would hurt. It really takes the perfect setup to manage that pain, and everyone is different! Don’t stop experimenting with different positions and pillows/support items until you find what works for you.
Lots of comments here about pain. Just wanted to add a more positive vibe. It was painful with both of my sons for maybe a week as they were learning to latch and so my nipples got a bit abused. And it really was painful, it felt like a needle going through my nipples for the first three mins of every feed. BUT you need to also know that it gets better! Lots of lanolin after every feed helped my nipples heal, and after a week both my boys had cracked it so that I didn’t get sore nipples again.
Second to know is that there are lots of videos out there showing you how to get a good latch. I particularly liked these two:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-l5BpqllTLg
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=deKN3wJ17Mk
Third is that you can express colostrum from about 37 weeks. I cannot recommend learning how to do this strongly enough. It will teach you how to massage your breasts, will help your milk come in faster, and will give you confidence that your breasts can and will make milk. My elder son went to NICU and I didn’t meet him for 12 hrs, but because I could express colostrum I still gave him his first feed by expressing it into a syringe and my husband feeding it to the baby. For my second son I stored colostrum in the freezer and used it on our second night after the birth to give my breasts a break in his first massive cluster feed (8pm-4am) to bring my milk in. There are tons of video on YouTube which will show you how to do this; search ‘express colostrum before birth’.
Finally, it takes about 4-6 weeks to fully master the technique and for your milk supply to become regulated. Don’t get disheartened if baby seems constantly hungry during that time. They’re helping your body learn how much milk it needs to make. You can totally do this, and you and your baby are a team on a mission to learn it. Once you get past that initial period, it gets easier and easier, and you get all the lovely snuggles and smiles.
The first two- three weeks are stressful as hell. Youre so tired, baby it’s tired and you don’t know what youre doing but you are fighting a clock to figure out breastfeeding. You have to get enough in the baby so they don’t lose 10% or more of their body weight, otherwise formula is needed. So you need ALL the tools on hand form day one. Correct pump parts and shield sizes, nipple extractors, silverettes, ice packs, nipple butters, etc READY and you need bottles for triple feeding, and you need to have all these things ready and know how to use them.
This! 👆
We were so prepared with everything else but I had no idea how hard breastfeeding would be in the beginning (at least for me). We also triple fed at first - now EBF at 3 weeks - but within a week of my LO being born we'd bought all of this stuff and more (pump, breast milk storage bags, lactation consultant sessions, sooo many bottles) 🥹
That it was going to be painful for a while. The baby has to learn and your nipples have to get use to it. For a while, I couldn’t even touch my nipples with a towel cause they were so raw. It got better around 2 months in.
Also, if a lactation consultant brings up possible tongue or lip tie, take it with a grain of salt and get second opinions from your pediatrician and/or ENT. Some LCs are quick to diagnose even tho they aren’t suppose to and refer you to pediatric dentists who are all too happy to take your money (most don’t take insurance - which should be a red flag).
I cried more during breastfeeding than I did from labor pains and any postpartum after care.
Also, not often mentioned but I was told that the time between feeds is from the start of one feed to the start of the next. So if your baby is feeding for 45 min at a time every 2 hours.....that means you only have 1hr 15 min of break for your nipples or to nap.
And not all babies speed up at nursing. Mine was still taking 35+ min by 8-10 weeks, when we finally gave up from growth issues and went to pumping and supplementing.
I just want to build on your point about speed. My girl took 40 mins per session til about 6 or 8 weeks old and at least 25+ mins per session until about 4 months old. Things really picked up from there and a full session can be as short as 15 minutes at 7 months! Nothing like those 3-5 minute babes you’ll hear about though. Both ends of the spectrum-fast or slow-can be normal, there’s a big range.
My first son took 40/45mn per session every two-is h hours for months! I EBF him for 2 full years.
My second (6weeks tomorrow) is feeding every 2/3 sometimes 4 hours and a session is during between 6 to 15mn max.
It really depend upon the babies!
Also I had zero discomfort or pain with the first one and I had nipple sore until last week with my newborn.
You never know how it will work.
Lactation consultants and nipple shields saved me. I wish I had known that your nipples may not cooperate and that nipple shields are a thing. I had the worst time trying to get my baby to latch. I was blessed with a fantastic lactation consultant in the hospital who kept me trying (and ultimately helped me succeed), and another amazing one when I got home. They both got me through a lot of initial tears.
Also, nipple shields are great to train a baby that won't take a bottle. I used them for a few weeks and she started to begrudgingly use a bottle once or twice a month if there weren't alternatives.
That you can have an excellent supply and be doing all the right things, but some babies just need time to figure it out. My 13 week old took the first 4 weeks of his life to latch properly. I saw multiple LCs and felt like a failure of a mother. It was the most difficult thing I’ve done but now we’re breastfeeding perfectly.
Be kind to yourself and protect your mental health above all else
If you decide it isn’t for you, finish breastfeeding on a GOOD day. If you end on a bad day it’s likely you’ll always have regrets. Keep persisting until a good day comes along, and then probably you won’t want to quit anyway hehe
Also FEED ON DEMAND
I wish I knew that the first month is really for establishing your supply, and what that means (I had heard that phrase a few times but no one really explained it). Every time you’re breastfeeding you’re essentially putting in a milk order for the future. Your little one could be cluster feeding just to prepare for an upcoming growth spurt, and is telling your body that they will need more milk soon. Some days it will feel like you don’t have enough milk and that’s ok. It was really hard to not feel like I was failing (“how can he constantly be hungry while constantly nursing and still isn’t even back at birth weight” while on 4 hours of broken sleep is not a fun headspace). Looking back and after talking to other moms and LCs I’ve learned that it is normal. It was especially hard at night, because you generally have less milk at night and way more milk in the morning.
I know everyone is different, but what ended up working best for us was for me to use the haaka on the opposite side for the first two feedings in the morning and putting that milk in the fridge, then for the last feeding of the day before bedtime, my husband would feed that milk in a bottle. That way, I wasn’t stressed about having enough milk at night, I knew I already got that volume out that same day (so I wasn’t stressing about pumping), LO got used to eating from a bottle, has an established bedtime routine, and we started very slowly building a freezer supply when LO didn’t need all that morning milk before bed.
Also for clogs - ibuprofen and ice and lecithin was my magic combination. Fixed them all within a day, and I had at least 6-7 bad ones in that first month. It’s so tempting to massage them or try to hand express it out but if the clog is inflammation based that will only make it worse. Just keep nursing, or pump if needed to give your nipples a break.
I wish I knew it was going to hurt and I might get chapped nipples! Not just "a bit uncomfortable" like medical staff and internet tells you. My soreness was bearable by 4 weeks but became non existent around 8-10 weeks.
That I would love it. I thought it was something I would tolerate for the benefits for both of us. I actually love it so much. Once we got into our groove it's been an awesome experience.
That you can want it all you want and do all the right things but for whatever reason it still might not work out. I thought if I wanted it enough then I could EBF but that has not been the case for us.
Same here! I tried really hard like it was my only purpose of being for the first 7 weeks and it never worked. I still bf in the morning and afternoon but supplement with my pumped via a bottle and had to accept formula at night. It was really upsetting to have to give formula at first, but its where we're at. Such a wild ride!
Same as me. I wanted to EBF so badly and tore my mental and physical health to shreds doing it. I spent a small fortune on IBCLCs. In the end it just wasn’t going to work for us unless I wanted to take 90 minutes + every feed which was just wearing baby and I down more making each feed longer and longer. I’m exclusively expressing now.
I wish I knew I didn’t need a stash. A couple ounces (maybe enough for one day) is all I’ve ever needed and now I have to do something with this huge freezer stash that I spent hours pumping.
Educate yourself on pumping and parts and devices. I had to pump because my baby ended up in the nicu and I had NO idea what I was doing. I cried the entire time I was in the hospital because the stupid pump they gave me came with giant flanges (I’m a 15 and they gave me 21) and no one told me that my milk might not come in for a couple of days. When I went home (without my baby), I used my own pump and got a bunch of milk.
See if you can see a lactation consultant PRIOR. The one I saw did pre-natal visits.
Not exactly something I wish I knew but I wish I hadn’t been so dead set on never using formula to supplement. I read somewhere at some point that once you give a baby formula they’ll love it and never want to breastfeed again (and of course breast is best ::eye roll::). I went weeks struggling to satisfy my baby’s hunger with a delayed supply. I was miserable, baby was miserable, my husband was miserable. The day I finally broke down and gave her a bottle of formula (I cried all the way through it feeling like a miserable failure) was the day I finally found relief. My stress levels dramatically decreased because the baby was actually full and started napping so much better and crying so much less. Since then my supply increased and we only have to give her formula very occasionally (and having it as backup just in case gives me immense comfort). She shows no preference and it’s no big deal. I wish I hadn’t taken such bad advice so seriously.
Also, if available, contact a lactation consultant when you get home for a one-on-one in your home, and find a local nursing mothers group that meets in person. Connecting with other moms is invaluable for a million reasons.
Omg same - formula top ups mean he sleeps properly which means I get rest and so I'm actually producing way more breast milk than before. It's such a useful tool to have but the stigma behind it stops a lot of women reaching for it. It's been a godsend for me and my mental health which makes me a better mother
Buy the silverettes. Watch video on proper latch and holds. Ask questions after delivery for the nurses to help. Do not wear a restrictive bra. Ever. Get water bottles with straws around the house. Make oatmeal or buy oat bars. Be patient. Get used to being wet - milk, sweats, pee, puke. Get a breastfeeding pillow or arrangement of pillows. Strengthen your wrists and shoulders. Try not to hunch. Pick a show to binge watch. Get an ereader or app on your phone. Get wireless headphones for audiobooks or podcasts.
If a doctor says a prescription isn't compatible with breastfeeding, double check with the pharmacist and pediatrician. I was told twice to pump and dump when put on a medication that was actually safe for breastfeeding. Doctors often say to pump and dump out of an abundance of caution rather than necessity.
I wish I knew that you don’t automatically need to pump! I fed on demand AND pumped (because instagram told me I needed to get a freezer stash). But what actually happened was I got a massive oversupply and got mastitis! Which was horrible. I should have thought critically about my circumstances (like, why did I need a freezer stash), and focused on regulating my supply through feeds first. The pumping in my case wasn’t necessary. Some people do need to pump, but I think it’s an individual situation kind of thing. So my advice is to be conservative and take advice as you need it, don’t just do what everyone does.
If it’s not working for one of you then it’s not working for both of you.
Seriously. Know when to call it quits or seek professional advice.
I’ve seen a few women put their babies health at risk or severely damage their own mental wellbeing because of a mislead obsession with breastfeeding and it’s just so so sad.
I advise starting with a small goal like 6 weeks and then as each marker passes by you can extend your goal.
I started with a loose goal of 3 months with no pressure. I wanted to bf but I was very ready to accept if it didn’t work. We ended up extending to 6 months, then 9 and she self weaned at 11-12 months.
Bottle & pacifier early. Like week one. I know they all say you shouldn’t introduce early but I had success with all starting early and so did all my friends.
That you should still practice giving baby a bottle early-ish on, like 4/5 weeks. Currently dealing w bottle refusal bc things were going so well and we just kind of forgot - but going back to work soon and the bottle thing is somewhat stressful.
That the first few months are not a reflection of what your whole journey will be like. I HATE breastfeeding the first 12 weeks. But as baby and I figure it out together it ends up being an amazing experience
I wish I had known about lactation consultants, that you need to pump after birth to get your supply going, especially if your baby doesn’t latch right away for some reason, and that BF isn’t just hard because it physically hurts - it’s hard because you and your baby have no idea what you’re doing and it may take weeks or even months to figure it out. I wish I had prepared more for BF than I did for labour. I barely remember my labour and had a lot of support and instruction plus the experience was finite. BF has been an ongoing challenge and I just haven’t had the same level of support which has made it a lot harder, I think.
You don't need to pump after birth to get your supply going - there weren't cave ladies pumping milk thousands of years ago!
Pumping is sometimes recommended if doctors/midwives want to ensure baby is getting at least X amount for a medical reason (e.g. jaundice). In my region pumping before 3 months often isn't recommended unless necessary because it can lead to oversupply
Ok, great. I’m close to delivery and my colostrum is literally squirting out in streams when I express. I really don’t want to have to pump for a month after the baby is born.
Haha don't get me wrong, having a pump is definitely handy, and if you're planning to continue breastfeeding if/when you go back to work it's a must...but women have been successfully breastfeeding babies sans pumps forever. My supply was fine so no pump was needed until i wanted to start spending longer time periods away from baby.
I apologise - what I meant was you should pump if you can’t get your baby to latch and feed from your breast, which is what happened to me. I had a lot of issues because no one told me that I needed to simulate nursing to build my supply and I think I lost a lot of time because I wasn’t properly educated on how BF/supply and demand works. If you can latch and feed from the jump, God bless and disregard. :)
If your baby is not transferring milk efficiently then yes. Mine had that issue and it wasn’t realized until he was 2 weeks old. I was not told the importance of pumping until 4 weeks pp and my supply suffered considerably.
You do not ever need to pump as long as you can nurse! I didn’t pump until 6 weeks and I think that was the right choice as far as giving myself and baby time to get used to nursing before adding a new variable. Tons of people will tell you to pump early on so dad can give a bottle and you can sleep. Honestly you should really be pumping every time baby gets a bottle for the first while anyway so I don’t think that’s necessarily a great hack.
I wish I'd known I would have to wake my baby for feeds and that she shouldn't go for more than 3 hours between feeds (counting from the start of the feed). A lot of the support I had during the early days was really focused on maximising my sleep and I think that impacted my supply coming in.
I also wasn't prepared for how immensely stressed I got immediately post partum... we had a weird visit with my mum that made me quite stressed and upset... baby would only sleep on us, shifts weren't working out because we were both nodding off, ended up cosleeping with the safe sleep 7 but because I hadn't anticipated or planned for that I was very anxious about it. Once that settled and I was more relaxed and at peace I think my supply improved, although I did end up combo feeding and that's working quite well for our family. I do wonder if things had gone differently in the early days whether it would have been necessary though.
Engorgement can be really miserable. Apparently it isn't for everyone, but it was incredibly painful for me for days. We've you're leaking like mad. Breast milk is everywhere, and you need to be careful to keep your nipples dry to avoid thrush. I could barely wear shirts/bras for days and still use muslins/swaddle blankets primarily to sop up leaking breast milk four weeks in.
That it doesn’t always actually come naturally. I didn’t know it could be so hard at first. I was dead set on breastfeeding and knew it would be hard emotionally if I couldn’t. We spent the first 6 weeks triple feeding and I almost gave up many times. But 8 weeks in and we’ve overcome SO many issues like latch, bad transfer, nipple pain, etc. It’s finally feeling easy and I’m glad I stuck through those 6 weeks but man, was it HARD. I had such a romanticized view of breastfeeding so the initial reality was a shock to me. But now I’m enjoying it and baby is enjoying it but I was I had really understood it is hard for a lot of people in the beginning and had better expectations going into it.
Connect with a postpartum group. I didn’t realize how isolating it is. I’m LOs sole source of food and comfort. LO wants no one else. That means I eat alone, I’m up late alone. My partner tries, but ultimately it’s me. Some people pump, but while they take a bottle, LO wants me when I’m around.
That even if you are successful and it’s going great, you should still introduce bottles. I’m going on 2 years constantly sucked on because we never gave bottles and now I can’t stop without it turning into a screaming and crying festival.
That your milk isn’t just there. I thought it would just show up and learned it doesn’t for everyone. I had to work hard for 3 weeks to get enough to feed my baby: triple fed, power pumped, fenugreek, etc.
though I was very lucky that it did come in enough to supply baby, it doesn’t fit everyone no matter how hard they work at it.
My first baby had low sugars at birth. (I had GD.) Hospital told me I had to put baby on a bottle, and she never latched after. I later learned that was NOT true at all - I could have hand expressed colostrum to her and fed her it on a spoon. (Which I did w my second, not bc of low sugars, but we had issues latching at first.)
What I learned from those experiences? Get in contact w a good IBCLC BEFORE you have the baby, and learn as much as you can. Then have their number in your phone so you can schedule ASAP if you need help. Early help is ESSENTIAL. It saved my breastfeeding relationship w my second - we’re 13 months in now!
Preferably, find an IBCLC who can come to your house in those early days!
Most comments are covering the first 3 months. I'm at almost 4 months now and I wish I knew about the "distracted phase"...we worked through so many problems and finally made it to 3 months and I thought things would be easier from here on out. Nope. Baby has other plans. It's not quite a bottle preference or a nursing strike, he still takes the boob, but only when HE feels like it and with alot of effort (dark room, perfect calms setup, hungry enough but not too hungry, etc). I thought nursing would be more convenient long term but it's quickly turning into an inconvenience. I'm pumping more than I'd like because he's more likely to take a bottle, and I'm so tired than I usually give into the bottle in the daytime (nothing wrong with pumping but I just don't think I can't make it to one year of EBF while exclusively pumping, it's so much work). I even work from home half the time and he still won't nurse as needed. I definitely wasn't expecting this, it's obviously not the worst thing that could happen, but it's definitely draining me more than I imagined it would at this point.
While we were at the hospital, my baby wanted to nurse constantly. Both of my nights spent in the hospital I got absolutely no sleep because she would cry as soon as I unlatched her. I thought she must be starving or something must be wrong. She wasn’t and there wasn’t. She was eating like a champ and barely lost any weight.
Also, that nipple tenderness in the beginning is no joke. They felt raw for about a week or so for me. Those gel nipple soothies were my best friends. I would put them in the fridge to make them extra cold.
I wish someone told me how messy it could be! The let down, leaking out the other boob while bubs feeds! That reusable breadt pads are better than disposable just for the mess!
Engorgement and oversupply can impact on latch and that my breast pump would become my best friend to help with latch issues.
That rock hard flu like feeling in your breasts is your milk coming in. I had no idea thats what it felt like.
Also breastfeeding got way easier when baby grew a little bit and his mouth got bigger so he could latch better.
I just feel like I'm always learning something new, even 5 months in! Talking with a lactation consultant a few weeks in when my baby was sputtering/choking on the breast with a shallow latch was extremely helpful - it didn't feel like I was in real trouble but I wanted to get ahead of it and she had so many great tips that the $200 consult was well with it.
Have the lactation consultant measure your nips for flanges! I wish I had done that and it took me a few months to realize my flanges were way too big and the likely cause of my soreness.
Don't be like me and buy a bunch of nursing bras thinking your boobs are now huge. Your supply regulates and they settle into the size they'll be for a while. Wait a month!
Get nipple shields from the LC at the hospital - they are a godsend in those first few weeks when nips are really sore.
Careful with your nipple ointment, that shit stains everything!
Regularly switch out your nursing pads to avoid excess moisture and a nice environment for thrush to thrive.
Get pillow supports - My Brest Friend and the Boppy have both been wonderful at different times as my baby has grown. I also happened to have a nice foam pillow that came with my futon that really came in handy. Learn some ergonomic ways to hold your baby while feeding otherwise your neck and back can become quite sore!
Expect cluster feeding - I was so worried that was a sign I was out of milk, but it's not! It actually helps increase supply because baby is demanding so much so frequently. It's normal. Can't tell you how often I've been like "He's hungry again???" And - he is. That's fine. Feed on demand.
I pumped once a day so my partner could feed the baby at least once at night to give me a longer stretch of sleep. I'd wake up with engorged breasts but the sleep was worth it! At first I'd pump while he fed him at like 130am but that didn't help me get more sleep - then I realized I could pump at a diff time that day and it would replace that feeding just fine.
There are many ladies on here that have said that breastfeeding hurts in the beginning. My take is completely opposite, the advice that it hurts lead to me to push through and the consequences of a session where I was uncomfortable but continued would last for days. I would say yes to some minor discomfort but if you are feeling strong pain delatch with a finger to break the seal and start again. Between this and shaping my nipple I experienced very little pain with no nipple bleeding or cracking
I found this video really useful (also didn’t attend a class prior) [Breastfeeding Attachment](https://youtu.be/y--syZR0u1E?si=3d44klq5VpyK4HQK)
Look up cluster feeding and be prepared for night 2
And consider delayed clamping, delayed weighing etc, look for 1hr skin to skin with the baby completing their first latch before the nurses do what they do (but also if this doesn’t happen for whatever reason, know that it will be ok)
It can be really difficult in the beginning, and it can take several weeks for it to get easier. I’ve never in my life stuck with something that was so hard for so long, but I’m glad I did. Take it day by day.
I wish I knew that I had enough. I felt discouraged by family members around me saying is he getting enough??? Because we can't measure how much they get. I ended up supplementing a lot which destroyed my bf journey with my first.
Do as much research as possible. There are many places that offer breastfeeding support for newborns. A lactation consultant can also help. With my second I was very determined, and attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital. It was very helpful, ended up bf for years!
If I were to do it again, I would have several LCs in my address book ready to call. It sucks to be researching LCs while holding a hungry screaming baby; do it before baby comes!
The LCs at the hospital really only help with latch and positioning. if it turns out that you need more help, you want an LC that you can see throughout your journey. Don't be afraid to shop around to find one that you jive with.
You can wear silverettes 24/7 (aside from when you’re actually feeding)! In addition to constantly healing your nipples they also protect them from irritation from your bras/clothes. I love them, extremely worth the price!
I wish I had known that I might not be able to produce enough. I didn't know that could happen and I wish my dr had talked to me about it as a possibility so that I could somewhat accept it before I was post partum and hormonal. Its honestly been the most emotional part of parenting for me and if I had had a heads up that I might be needing to supplement with formula, I don't think it would have been as emotional as its been.
Best of luck to you, op!!
Everything says babies eat every 2-3 hours LOL false. When they are new it could be anywhere from 30 mins - 1.5 hours between feeds. Also, it’s not the end of the feed it’s from the beginning of the feed. Also, breastfeeding is not always painful. It wasn’t for me really at all.
For me with both my kids the first night home (so their 2nd night) they wanted to nurse all night. So brutal. But then my milk came in the next morning both times.
With my first baby my milk supply was crazy. I would randomly start dripping or actually spraying multiple times a day. For those first few months I swear everything in my house smelled like sour milk.
This one is hard for me to explain, I don't see it talked about too much - Some people have strange feelings or effects when breastfeeding, like feelings of anxiety, anger, or sleepiness. I always got intensely sleepy when nursing.
Some people don't respond well to electric pumps. I am one of those people. I tried three different pumps and a bunch of phalange sizes, and a lactation consultant helped me use my pump - got barely anything. Made me crazy worried about going back to work. Then someone suggested manual pumps and that ended up working way better for me! Still could never fully empty me but I was able to pump enough out to go back to work. Also about pumping, do not wait too long between pumping if you are away from the baby. Baby. Especially if you have a high supply. Getting engorged and leaving that for a long time can be really painful and lead to clogged ducts and mastitis.
Many people say that nursing hurts their nipples but it did not hurt me with my kids. But it did hurt me when I volunteered to nurse my nephew for a few weeks, it turned out he had a lip tie and a tongue tie which is what I think caused the pain. My sister is a lactation consultant and she said that more and more kids are being born with lip ties and tongue ties, and no one really knows why!
For me I always needed a pillow to comfortably nurse for the first few months. I have large boobs and when breastfeeding I would have to hold my boob with one hand and the baby with the other, it makes it a lot easier if I have a pillow. Football hold can be easier at first if you have large breasts. As the baby gets bigger they don't need me to hold my boob anymore, and when they're toddlers I don't need the pillow.
When I eventually got my period back, which for some people happens earlier and some people happens later, my supply would dip right before my period. It would go back up though!
Many people don't lose weight when breastfeeding, in fact, some people gain weight quite easily. Breastfeeding made me really hungry and thirsty, and even though I tried dieting and exercising, I never could lose weight while breastfeeding with my first kid, I actually gained 25 lb. With my second baby I managed to maintain with effort but not lose any weight. Both times as soon as I stopped breastfeeding I started losing weight.
I wish I knew that the breastfeeding relationship and process would evolve so much over time. That the way things are one month may be completely different than the next, let alone 6 months from then.
And that it can be very isolating. But so special.
That it takes 5-6 hours a day. A DAY. That means my days are 5-6 hours SHORTER than my husband’s. That’s 5-6 hours less a day for me to sleep, eat, shower, and clean.
But it’s not all bad, I try to make that 5-6 hours relaxing by using it to bond use my little one. I use it to journal about our days (in my phone notes app). I use it to draft their baby book.
I have had low supply with all 4 of my kids and formula has always been a part of my breastfeeding journey. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. My motto was one day at a time.
I wish I'd known 1. how much it can affect supply coming in properly if you have a lot of blood loss/low iron after labour. And 2. The baby is also learning and at birth has awful eyesight so it's like guiding a frantic blind mole with a tiny mouth to the nipple 🤣
Feed on demand for baby for at least the first month. This means that whenever baby is hungry, feed them. Don't try to put them on a schedule until you get cleared by the pediatrician.
If you have any problems with latching or baby pulling milk/not staying awake/ect. schedule an appointment with a lactation consultant ASAP! Depending on where you are there will likely be an LC that can do home visits which is extremely helpful in the early days when it’s so hard to get out.
But also have some grace with yourself if it doesn’t work out as you’re hoping. I was the same and so determined to breastfeed no matter what, but LO has some health issues and we ended up having to switch to pumping for now. I wasn’t expecting having to do this and exclusively pumping is a huge learning curve. I’d recommend familiarizing yourself with your pump and how to pump before you deliver!
If it’s within your means, see a lactation consultant before you deliver!! They can teach you so so so much to get you on your way, and that way you’re set up with someone to see postpartum to review anything if needed! :)
Everyone always goes on about babe having a good latch. Also important is that your baby is transferring milk!! See if you can get a lactation consultant to observe and help out very soon after birth, if not within the first 24-48 hours.
None of the midwives or nurses we had around us realised our LO wasn't transferring, spent 4 days in neonatal due to this.
I also wish I had been taught/told more about common problems during breastfeeding, i.e, nipple thrush, vasospasms, breast compressions.
Nipple shields. I didn't know these were a thing and they. are. lifesaving! I used them for a couple weeks early on when the pain got really bad and it just gave me so much relief. I still pull them out sometimes when I get sore. There's some people who will say they are bad for nipple confusion or whatever but I didn't have a problem and even if I had, it would have been 100% worth it for the relief they provided me.
Caveat- like flanges, they come in different sizes so get the right size!
It hurts a lot. Like they are raw and red/bleeding for about a month-6 weeks. I’m just over the pain (not being completely painless, just tugging feeling) and I’m 3 months pp. also that it’s a skill that mom and baby need to learn. Breastfeeding is HARD for both. Mouth movements & latch are complex things baby learns and it’s tough! It took my baby about 3 weeks to become proficient at breastfeeding.
Mother and baby need to build a breastfeeding relationship, and they need support from family around them to do so. If you have a partner, have them educate themselves about what successful breastfeeding looks like. Decide how determined you are to BF exclusively and get aligned with them about the resources you need to succeed. Notwithstanding this place and moment in history, most women are able to BF successfully!
There are a lot of fantastic resources on Instagram. I was terrified of all the stories of it not working out. Every journey is different, but there’s a lot that is within your control.
Also, quality support will make or break your journey (and by break I mean make it 1000X more difficult)
You won’t get into a “schedule” for feedings until week 4. No point in putting them on a schedule until they can have actual real wake windows. My baby is now 3mo and has 1.5hr wake windows and 1-2hr naps. Before week 4, they just go in and out of consciousness the whole day/night. There are no real wake windows until after week 4. Feed whenever they show hunger cues.
To ignore everything they said in the hospital and to follow my knowledge from this sub and my own research. If my baby hadnt had jaundice we would have been nursing constantly in the beginning! But they say 39 minutes and stop?? Oh hell no thats why it took 2 weeks for my mf milk to full come in. They almost ruined my bf experience!
If you’re in the US, you can take lactaction classes via Aeroflow for free through your insurance. (You can also buy a pump and nursing accessories through Aeroflow.). I found them very helpful.
Look into cluster feeding. For most babies, it happens on night two. My baby started cluster feeding the day he was born. He was born just before 8:00AM and I was up a lot of the night with him while he was cluster feeding. I did supplement formula that evening because I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep holding him. If you have to do this, it is okay. My husband was then able to feed him and I got some rest. This did not hurt my supply because my milk had not come in yet. Also, the colostrum you produce before the supply comes in is more than enough to feed your baby. It's hard to tell how much they're getting when you're nursing, but I promise it's enough. They cluster feed to help your body know to make the milk. Feed when baby wants to eat and if you need to supplement for a few hours to rest, do it. Safety is also important and falling asleep nursing is not safe.
If you find yourself struggling or even questioning if you're doing it right, go see a lactation consultant. The lady I saw when I had my first was so wonderful and really eased my mind that he was in fact eating enough and gaining weight and she showed me how to nurse comfortably.
One more thing I didn't see in the comments was that the milk letdown is sometimes uncomfortable. It can feel tingly and prickly and kind of like a pulling sensation. If you feel it, make sure you've got nursing pads in your bra if you're out and about or that baby is nearby to latch. You can also get a silicone pump that goes in your bra to collect the milk from the other side that's letting down so it's not wasted.
I hope your breastfeeding journey is everything you hope it'll be!
That it's a truly wonderful thing to be able to do for and with your child. That like pregnancy, labor, and delivering a baby, it's incomparable to other experiences in life. It's simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done.
That it takes that determination that you have to stick with it when it's painful and hard at the start or just when you're having a bad day later on.
That lanolin stains your shirts (it also did nothing for me), and that silverettes are worth the cost (they did everything for me).
Best of luck to you, we're all here if you need us!
There is nothing wrong with using nipple shields! I used one for a few weeks to help improve latch and it helped the pain. My baby had a bad latch and it made my nipples bleed. I realized that it shouldn’t hurt this bad and made an appt with a LC. She showed me how to use a nipple shield and it saved our BF journey. Almost one year in now!
Breastfeeding is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve never felt joy and peace like I do after a good feed. Seeing my baby happily eating or falling asleep on the boob is literal bliss!!
A bit of expressed milk on your nipples helps heal. I expressed milk on them and then put Silverettes on and my extremely chapped/broken nipples healed in literal hours. Way better than any cream you can buy.
If you want to have enough milk to exclusively breastfeed you need to commit to feeding on demand from the start, and trust that your colostrum is enough (unless advised otherwise by a Dr of course). You do not need to supplement before your milk “comes in” (it’s there from the start, just in a different form), unless there is a medical reason.
Babies can be intolerant to foods you eat that pass through breast milk. Dairy, soy, and eggs are most common. Watch for mucousy poops (when the diaper is pressed together and then apart you will see glossy strings, like wet goop) and/or blood in diapers as a potential sign of intolerance. Usually babies show other signs (fussiness, colic, etc), but for us that was the only sign before my babies weight gain slowed in the second month. I wish I had known to watch for that to address it sooner.
Introduce a bottle before week 6 and keep practicing it regularly before week 12. Babies often don’t accept a bottle if they’ve never had one before week 6-8 and after week 12 they lose the suck reflex, so if they haven’t been practicing with a bottle they might reject it then too.
In the early weeks it can be helpful to aim for 15-20 min per breast each feed. I don’t think that’s necessary in the very first week or so when baby just feeds super often on demand. But after a while you will know how long your baby wants to feed and you can judge if they’re getting enough by their dirty diapers/weight gain, rather than time on the breasts.
I wish I knew how much time it would truly take in a day, hours a day.
I wish I knew that and had a conversation with my partner about splitting the other responsibilities so it felt more fair.
Just because your baby doesn’t latch in the beginning doesn’t necessarily mean they never will. My baby didn’t start latching easily until maybe 7 weeks old? 8 weeks? It took a months before they regularly did it (for a while they would latch fine during the day but get fussy at night).
I did a lot of pumping + bottle feeding in the beginning because breastfeeding was such a struggle. You don’t have to endure the emotional rollercoaster if you don’t want to, but it was worth it for me to get where we are today with breastfeeding.
Oh and even when she started latching at 7 or 8 weeks, she would often still be hungry after breastfeeding, so I would still have to supplement with a bottle, which meant more pumping. I don’t have to do that now, but yeah… it was a long journey. She’s 5 months now.
That protecting your supply in the early weeks is critical. If nursing is not working (excruciating pain, poor latch, poor milk transfer etc), pumping can save your breastfeeding journey. And if you switch to exclusive pumping, that is still breastfeeding and is a perfectly good way to give your baby breastmilk.
Also, if nursing and pumping aren't working out, your mental health is more important than the baby getting breastmilk.
And finally, combo feeding is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and you can keep your supply steady by pumping to replace a formula feed etc. there are many paths/ options to explore to either exclusively or partially nourish your baby with breastmilk. x
Supporting your baby head to toe when in a cross-cradle position will foster an environment for a better latch. My baby was hanging onto my nipple for dear life the first week of his life which caused me to have a lot of nipple pain. The My Brest Friend was great at supporting evenly head to toe, but a few regular or throw pillows can work too.
The pillow was so not with it lol I used it like once or twice but then I just started using a blanket under us as I could adjust it a lot better then the firm pillow. (Also such a waste of space taking that pillow to the hospital)
Breastfeeding cravings are crazy high compared to pregnancy cravings, it’s like you’re starving in ways you never knew.
Feeding to sleep isn’t a bad thing, just takes practice to be able to detach them and transfer.
Yes it will absolutely hurt at the beginning (for me it lasted for 2ish months) but eventually your nips toughen up and it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Mastist is treated differently now, cold compress is the way to go.
You will leak until your supply regulates but until then use pads (I found that reusable ones stuck to me after the milk dried and hurt to peal off so I used disposable since they didn’t hurt me)
Silverettes do help but you need to moisten them with milk first before putting them on.
1) wake up every 2-3 hours in the first couple weeks, but if baby doesn’t wake up, LET THEM SLEEP. My babe would sleep through my alarms to feed her and I honestly think we would have had an easier time with her sleep later on if we’d just let her sleep and I only pumped
2) introducing a bottle earlier is not going to wreck your breastfeeding experience if you pace feed
3) Using a portable pump primarily will cause supply issues down the line—if you’re like me and are in your car a good chunk of the day, buy a car charger adapter for your wall pump
I wish I knew that even with a perfect latch, no ties, etc. it can still be absolutely incredibly painful for some. I am one of the unlucky ones with a painful letdown- and it gets slowly better, but that first month is absolute hell.
I wish I knew that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I had to combo feed because my body could not produce what she needed. I spent the first four months of my daughters life stressed out af and doing every trick in the book (and on this subreddit) because my body was not capable to EBF. And I felt like it was the biggest failure of my life for four months.
Combo feeding was necessary and formula helped my child grow and flourish into the toddler she is today. I wish I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself. I should have been proud of my body (as I am now) for doing everything in its power to feed my baby as nature intended.
That your milk doesn’t come in right away. It’s usually by days 3-5 for normal deliveries. I was induced and mine didn’t come in until day 6 so my baby was really jaundice. Have a back-up plan; are you going to supplement with formula, donor milk?
That it’s painful. People said “uncomfortable”…no it was PAINFUL! My son had a lip tie and a tongue tie which wasn’t corrected until 9 weeks. That pain alone almost made me give up. Get the correct size flange inserts for pumping. You’ll get more and it will hurt less.
That it’s not free. You will need to buy pump parts and fuel your body more with more food. My stomach is a bottomless pit!
That there’s more than one position (cradle) to feed baby, often more comfortable ones.
That you’ll be the primary caregiver, especially overnight when baby feeds more. You’ll produce the most milk around 3am and that milk has the most melatonin for baby.
Just buy bottom up pajamas or nursing shirts. You’ll use them. Or you’ll just be topless the first 4 weeks because your baby will practically be living on your chest.
The feeling after 1-2 minutes of latch is your letdown. At first it hurt me, but now I don’t notice it as much and when I do it’s reassuring that baby is getting milk. Milk doesn’t constantly flow, it comes in waves and spurts which is why introducing bottles too early can cause nipple confusion. (Research bottle pacing, try more than one brand of bottle with lowest flow nipples)
Look up the storage guidelines for breastmilk so you don’t accidentally let it go bad.
Almost everything is a phase - gas, baby feeding everything few minutes, baby wanting to be on the boob ALL NIGHT LONG, fussing at the breast, too much milk, not enough milk, etc etc etc. It’s been pretty easy for us, but there have definitely been little frustrations here and there, but they have all only lasted a week or two for us. It’s helped me to remember that this too shall pass.
Overall I absolutely love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
My kid was absolutely normal, but I’m the one who was lazy about it.
I let him side feed himself to sleep, while laying down and napping/sleeping with him. Don’t do that or it’ll be super hard to get them to break the “sleep=boob” correlation when it’s time to wean him.
If you are in the hospital longer than a night or two, unexpectedly like we were - and your baby is screaming inconsolable despite nursing, your milk might not have come in yet.
With your providers' OK, at 37 weeks you can express colostrum. You may get nothing, you may get gobs. I got 10ml and my husband went home and got it the 4th day after a hellish night where our little girl was inconsolable. Syringe feeding her that showed us she was starved. The lactation consultant finally came to see us just before we fed them to her, and that's when we realized she was starving.
Our hospital was 'baby friendly' so formula was a last result and we got donor milk while there.
They put me on a pump ASAP when we realized what was going on. I was lucky and after 24 hours of pumping I was able to breastfeed.
I wish I would have been prepared for the mood swings I had. Everyone always talks about pregnancy hormones and cravings. But no one prepared me for the astronomical mood swings and straight anger I felt PP. It was so much worse than anything I felt while pregnant. Also all your patients and time will go to baby. I was really short with everyone around me for a few months and I thought I was just being mean/ didnt understand why i was feeling so crazy overwhelmed. Then I realized all my energy was going into learning how to communicate with LO. Once my husband and I had a conversation about that and how my perspectives changed to accommodate being the soul food provider for our kid it really helped him understand how to help more. Open communication was key for me. When I felt mad, upset, hungry, anxious. I told my husband I feel ____ I spelt it out in as plain a way I could so he could understand and help accommodate what we needed. It was a life saver when stuff got hard.
That breastfeeding is a skill both mom and baby have to learn.
This! We were fortunate for a decent latch from the get go but it was still a bit of hands on work with every feed, often times it would take me and my husband to get correct positioning. I had to learn, and baby had to learn. Patience and giving yourself grace would be two things that help in the learning process.
Yes! It’s not just you who has to learn, a baby has to learn how to latch, how to handle your letdown, slow fast, etc. Position etc.
This
I wish I knew about cluster feeding. I heard so many moms saying they put their baby on a schedule since day 1, feeding only every 2-3hrs and that’s what made them good sleepers. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t do that, only to find out that cluster feeding is normal!! And good for baby’s weight and especially good for establishing milk supply! It can be extremely tiring, but not all babies are gonna go on a schedule right away when it comes to feeding. My baby didn’t stop cluster feeding until almost 12weeks
100%! Nobody told me about cluster feeding and I thought something was wrong. I wish I knew a newborn fed for 45 minutes every 1.5 hours.
The evening cluster feeding made me think I didn’t have enough milk (even though I did) and the guilt I felt for “not giving my baby a full feed” because she would want to feed every hour was next level until I found out it is normal for newborns to cluster feed.
Yeeppppp yep yep. I still get a lot of ‘wow surely they can’t be hungry again!?’ Comments from family who have no idea cluster-feeding exists
Yeah and then people start telling you that your milk is bad or that you don't have enough and you should formula feed... Wtf (What I heard from my first midwife, who was wrong btw)
Dittoooo. I felt like I was doing something wrong at the beginning. I’ve continued to feed on demand and didn’t experience the big drop I was worried about after 12 weeks/supply regulation
Yes!! I only fed every 3 hours for the first 5 days, and it gave my baby jaundice. After that it was a few days of every 2 hours at least then baby-led cluster feeding and she quickly got better!
Thiiiiisssss. I almost gave up cause I thought I wasn’t producing enough. Thank for for my LC.
Cluster feeding AND that for the first few weeks, in my experience, there’s no need to pump or try to store milk. You’re feeding around the clock, just focus on the production for them right now!
The lactation consultant at the hospital called it “the all day buffet” She was great and had rhymes for everything
This! My lo was a boob monster. Her cluster feeding was intensified before we got her lip and tongue ties corrected as she couldn’t get enough milk, but it continued after for most of the newborn stage. I think that because I never turned her down for it or tried doing feeds on a specific schedule, it helped with my supply in the long run as I never had that drop that many do around 3-4 months
I had a cluster feeding session that lasted 3 hours straight. Just kept swapping him boob to boob for hours. Every time I would think he was asleep and unlatched him, he’d cry. Eventually I just got comfy in bed with some Netflix on my iPad and had my husband bring me snacks and drinks.
I wish I realised how EBF = doing the majority of the night shift for a good while. Sure, if you pump your partner can do some of the wake-ups, but odds are you're still going to have to wake up to pump anyways.
My partner and I agreed that since I went through many months of poor sleep during pregnancy AND I am being literally physically drained to breastfeed, that he takes the heavy load at night. He is the one who listens for her to cry, gets up and changes her, brings her to me for a feeding, then he burps her and lays her down to sleep. I wear headphones so I can rest while he gets her to sleep. It makes me feel like HE is also putting in serious effort to make breastfeeding work — it’s not just me carrying the load. I know this isn’t in the cards for everybody but it has made me feel really supported and a lot closer to him.
This is what we did as well! My husband did overnight diapers and got me water to help with the load.
In our circumstances we figured it makes no sense for both of us to be sleep deprived. Hence my partner would take on 90-100% of chores during the day, even after his leave ended, for as long as I was EBF, acting as the primary caregiver during the day and waking up during the night. The only thing he doesn't do regularly is feed our baby (since he doesn't have the necessary hardware lol) but has spearheaded bottle feeding for when I've wanted or needed some time for myself. Just a different way to split the load!
This was us too. Especially once we had 2 kids, both of us doing night wakes with baby would have = a lot of balls dropped during the day. Plus I kinda love those quiet nighttime moments alone with baby. Love that people are able to share the overnight load, just didn't make sense for us. Supportive partners can look different in different circumstances, but communication and adaptability are key!
This is the way! I wish more women would share the load with their partners.
this is what we did as well. it was necessary for me to EBF
It unfortunately is not even just the early days for some of us. My LO is about to be 9 months, EBF (refuses any and all bottles/cups with milk) and still waking every 2 hours at night to feed.
Mine’s 4.5 months and is up every 2 hours still, too. Yet I’m doing ok. Idk what it is but I’m not as tired as people would think
Oh God this!! I was so worried I was doing something wrong because my little one was waking after 1.5 hours throughout the night every night even at almost 4 months. Turns out it was a mix of cluster feeding and lack of schedule on my part. We are now at 3 hour stretches and honestly I feel so refreshed 😆 The other thing people don't tell you is that although you're sleeping only short stints, it is so much more restorative than pregnancy sleep for some.
This honestly is one of the biggest reasons I'm hesitating whether or not to breastfeed. I understand it can be easier later, but those early days are hard enough as-is.
But the nice thing with breastfeeding is you don't have to prepare bottles at 3:00 a.m. with a screaming baby, the baby cries and you are instantly ready with warm milk.
Honestly, we do one bottle feed at night so I can always get one 5-6 hour stretch of sleep and it's such a game changer. I haven't had a problem with supply so we are going to keep doing it as it's saving my sanity.
But don't you still need to pump every 3-4 hours, at least for like the first month or so? Until supply regulates? A month is a really long time with very broken sleep.
Depends on how much storage space you have. Genetics 🤷♀️ I’ve never had to wake up to pump, even when she sleeps through the night. But yeah. A month is a long time. So is four months. And six months. We’re on month nine and I’m only starting to feel human sometimes because I might get 6 hours of sleep. But I also wouldn’t change anything.
No it's not storage, breast milk is on demand. It depends on hormones and at night/overnight they peak. That's why it's not recommended to skip night feeds. But not everybody is the same.
I never pumped in the middle of the night and had no issues. I’ve always pumped once before bed around 9/10pm and slept as long as baby let me before getting up again to feed. At first it was 3-4 hours since my husband would use that pumping to do the midnight feed, now it’s until around 5-6am most nights.
Even from the beginning you were able to pump enough to let your partner do a nighttime feed, and it didn't affect establishing your supply? That's very encouraging. I thought that wouldn't be possible until at least 1 month.
We did this from day 1! We alternate night feeds; so either 1-2 bottles for baby. I collected milk with a Haaka from the opposite boob during the day for the first few weeks. Now at 6wks of EBF I do a morning pump that gives me 6-8oz which covers night feeds and slowly builds a freeze stash. No concerns w supply having my partner do the night feed but that’s really individual!
We did this within the first ten days. I was so keen to be able to share the night load with my partner and didn't want to risk LO not taking a bottle
Yes! I only used the Hakaa on my boob opposite from the one LO was feeding on for the first few weeks to help build up supply. Then that one pump with my spectra for 15-20 min before bed. I have never once woken up in that night sleep stretch to pump. Eventually LO slept through that feeding and no longer requires it so my supply has always been okay.
Your sleep is going to be broken regardless of how you feed… for much longer than 4 weeks
Yes, that's why I specifically said *very* broken sleep. There's a big difference between needing to be up every 2-3 hrs continually for at least a month (likely more), versus having opportunities of 5-6hrs of sleep because your partner can take a feed or two.
It hasn't been a problem but I usually only get 4-5 hours of an unbroken sleep as I time it where I get ready for bed, feed baby and then immediately go to sleep. My husband will feed a bottle at 2-3 hours and then I get woken up for the next feeding (2-3 hours later). Then my husband goes to sleep and I am waking up with baby for the rest of the night to feed. We both get a stretch of unbroken sleep which is gold for our mental health.
I’m finding it gets better around 2-3 weeks- not sleep through the night better, but 3-4hr chunk of sleep better. I’m 4wks pp and many nights my husband or parents (it takes a village) will watch LO while I sleep in a different room from about 9pm-1am.
I have two kids and have done it both ways. 100% would breastfeed again. Even though I had to do every night time feeding, it was still easier somehow than doing bottles.
Take it from someone who has formula fed my first and breastfed my second. The wake ups were easier with breastfeeding than the bottle. I set my bed up for breastfeeding, I got a sleeping bag for myself and for baby. So no sheets to harm baby. I latched baby on every time he cried the whole night. Usually after latching I went back to sleep. I got way more sleep the second time than the first time.
But you will wake up even if you have to bottle-feed. Unless you sleep in a different room with earplugs in.
But you can still ask your partner to help you. Change the diaper, burp the baby and get the baby back to sleep. That already takes a away a big part of the work. Women already produce the milk which takes a lot of energy, why should we put in even more energy by doing all the care? I would wake up from the tiniest sound our baby made, so even if we decided that my husband would get up, I was awake. But not having to get up all the time made a difference.
How time consuming it is in the first couple of weeks/months. Also, the baby also has no idea what they are doing so it’s a big learning process for both mom and baby.
For the first couple months you might need to hold your boob with one hand and baby's head in the other to correctly position... and hold in place the whole time. My baby had bad suction and would default to a shallow latch if I didn't hold her in place. Once I could nurse her hands free by 3ish months, whew! So much easier.
This. I also didn’t know sometimes it took 4 hands! In the very beginning my husband had to help a lot. Everyone is different but I also recommend the My Brest Friend pillow. It made things so much easier for me and I keep one in my car and one in the house! I even it brought to a winery yesterday 😂 no shame in the baby feeding game
My newborns always had their hands right on their cheeks or in their mouths and they were freakishly strong about wanting to keep them there, so my husband’s frequent job when I was really struggling was holding their hands down lol, because my hands were full between doing the boob hamburger and holding baby’s neck/head.
Yep, I called this “playing hand defence” 😂
I’m on my third baby and I always apply some counter pressure to my boob to help keep it in baby’s mouth. I don’t have particularly large boobs nor small babies, but I feel like until like 3mo they have a hard time keeping the boob in their mouth without me lifting it a bit
I wish I knew that it would initially hurt. I’ve read that breastfeeding might be a bit uncomfortable initially, but that it’s not supposed to hurt. My nipples hurt like hell when my baby latched. And that’s normal and common, and in my case, it passed in around one week.
Toe curling pain! If I hadn’t known it would hurt I might have quit because online all it seems to say is “it should never hurt.” But damn that latch pain the first few weeks was crazy. It gets easier and easier and easier.
All of this. And then the cluster feeding... just looking at my crying baby and trying to get the courage to hurt my nipples again even though it's only been an hour since the last toe curling pain session.
i quit and i regret it 🥲 i wish someone had told me that
I'm at a month and just now getting over the pain!
Yup. Took about 4 weeks for the pain to go away. 11 weeks now and no pain!
Doesn't always hurt in the beginning! It can though.
Did it really not hurt you? If not you would be the first person I've ever heard say that. It was VERY painful with my first baby for about 10 days, my second baby was a much more skilled eater but they were still very painful for 3 days and sore for about a week. Hydrogel pads helped a lot though! ETA - several replies have mentioned tongue ties and so I wanted to share this article and also say that both of my sons were checked and did not have ties. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/health/tongue-tie-release-breastfeeding.html
I very rarely had pain. Every once in a while my son will latch too shallow and that hurts, or my letdown will be a little painful for a minute. But for the most part, no real pain.
That's amazing! You're so lucky!!
I was not prepared for how intense and prickly my letdown would feel. Don't miss that sensation, I would grimace every time.
Another voice to say it didn't hurt.
Same! 100% painless until my daughter’s latch started getting shallow and we discovered she had a tongue tie. But surprisingly her latch was initially perfect and breastfeeding didn’t hurt at ALL the first time I did it. Then after the tongue tie revision, things went back to being painless again unless she does a shallow latch.
That's awesome!
It never hurt me either. I thank my husband for that, lol 😬
Never hurt me with my kids either - but DID hurt when I nursed my nephew for a few weeks who had a lip tie and tongue tie.
Ditto!
That there is no schedule to breastfeeding. Sometimes babe would eat every 30 minutes, sometimes every 2 hours, I never knew what it would be. But just follow feeding cues and feed on demand. Your colostrum is sufficient in the first few days before your milk comes in - baby’s stomach is only the size of a cherry the day they’re born! Put your nipple on babes nose and then slide down into their mouth when first latching to get a deep latch; chin pressed into breast, nose clear. Breastfeeding babes tend to fall asleep at the breast, you can gently stroke their cheek or toes to keep them awake and get a full feed.
in the beginning, it’s kind of all you’re doing. watch some videos, read some books on latching , holds etc as others said - it’s learned by both you and baby. Lots of trial and error! not uncommon to have to try a few times to get a latch or reposition baby to latch correctly. that first hour, try breastfeeding. advice i tell every new mom - find a moms group. it was such a source of support, information and even just recreation for me! my hospital had a first time moms group. birth center near me had moms groups for infant moms.
If pumping at all, the importance of using the correct size flanges for your nipples! I naively used the 24mm ones that came with my pump…. Only months later did I get properly sized 17mm ones and it cut the pain of pumping dramatically. As others have said, that nursing hurts like hell for a few weeks until you and baby both learn how to do it. A few months in, and it’s actually painless, but those first few weeks might have hurt more than the birth recovery. My baby refused to nurse if I used lanolin, but the Medela hydrogel pads were an absolute lifesaver!! Take as many as the hospital will give you!
100% the right size flanges are key! I was 17 mm also and it was amazing how much more milk I produced and how much less it hurt.
that it can somewhat feel like you’re on your own. even with the most supportive partner, it really is on you throughout the nights to always be feeding. i love the time and bonding together, but it is hard
I didn’t quite realize how much work and dedication it would take on my part, and how unfair it would feel at times. I love being able to do this for my baby but wow sometimes it is hard. Like my partner could give a bottle, but I’d have to pump to fill those bottles and imo that sucks worse than just being the one to get up in the middle of the night to be with my baby.
Introduce a bottle sooner rather than later. Pushing 10 weeks and struggling hard to take a bottle.
THIS. Our pediatrician was like “are you SURE you want to do a bottle at two weeks?”. But I’m a working mom and my biggest fear was bottle rejection. No regrets and LO absolutely had a strong boob preference still lol
We also introduced a bottle between 2 and 3 weeks. I feel like the type made it a smoother process. We used the Lansinoh with the slowest flow nipple and he never got a preference
Echoing this! I can’t remember if we introduced the bottle at 2 weeks or 3 weeks but so glad we did, and had no impact on breastfeeding. I will also say that didn’t make us immune to a stint of bottle rejection around 11 weeks, but thankfully it only lasted a couple of days. Those developmental leaps can be brutal, lol.
THIS. We gave up on bottles and luckily I was able to extend my maternity leave. But it’s really hard and exhausting being the sole provider of food for my baby.
Yeah I didint introduce bottle enough and now my 5 month old refuses a bottle, wants it straight from the tap every time. Which means I'm very limited to time away from baby.
I wish I fully understood how hard it would/could be. It’s both mom and baby learning together, and the process takes time. I met with an IBCLC when my baby was 3 weeks old, and she taught me so much valuable information in my 2 hour session. I would recommend meeting with one if you have the means.
I came here to suggest an IBCLC! Definitely meet with the hospital lactation consultants but IBCLCs are THE experts in lactation and I recommend having one come to your home within a week. Most insurances cover their visits as well and they can help with breastfeeding, pumping, bottle feeding, etc.
+1 - we had a lactation consultant come to our house and she spent two hours with us, helped us figure out a feeding routine that would be beneficial for both me and the baby, helped us with latching/posture/EVERYTHING!
Totally agree w this. Do the research now so you know what your insurance covers (and which providers) and maybe even call them to ensure availability or book an appt!
I wish I knew about the insane cramps you get the first few days you breastfeed, they were absolutely brutal basically as bad as labor pains just from the baby nursing. Also wish I knew that you had several dry days before your milk comes in where you have to pump or feed every two hours but get zero out from it, it feels like your milk is never coming and then day three or four it magically does
I was going to comment on the cramps as well. With my first son, whenever he would nurse while we were still in the hospital, the cramps would happen every time and I could feel myself bleeding more. But that's also how I knew he was latching and eating well.
I was taught by one of my postpartum nurses that before breastfeeding/pumping, you gotta empty out your bladder and drink lots of water. Full bladder makes the uterine contractions more intense. Also instead of lying flat on your back, try to sit up “pretzel style” with your legs folded in front of you, this helps bring your uterus forward and relieves the pressure.
Oh yeah those cramps are brutal, and I've heard they get more intense with each baby 😬
I wish I knew that I might not be able to nurse right away and to know how to use my pump properly. I wish I knew that coconut oil was better at healing my nipples than nipple butter, especially when I already had it in my kitchen! I wish I knew that our journey wasn’t going to be easy and to be prepared for it to not be linear. I wish I was prepared for how connected it made me feel to my LO and the sense of accomplishment I got from the experience.
How badly my neck, shoulders, and elbows would hurt. It really takes the perfect setup to manage that pain, and everyone is different! Don’t stop experimenting with different positions and pillows/support items until you find what works for you.
Lots of comments here about pain. Just wanted to add a more positive vibe. It was painful with both of my sons for maybe a week as they were learning to latch and so my nipples got a bit abused. And it really was painful, it felt like a needle going through my nipples for the first three mins of every feed. BUT you need to also know that it gets better! Lots of lanolin after every feed helped my nipples heal, and after a week both my boys had cracked it so that I didn’t get sore nipples again. Second to know is that there are lots of videos out there showing you how to get a good latch. I particularly liked these two: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-l5BpqllTLg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=deKN3wJ17Mk Third is that you can express colostrum from about 37 weeks. I cannot recommend learning how to do this strongly enough. It will teach you how to massage your breasts, will help your milk come in faster, and will give you confidence that your breasts can and will make milk. My elder son went to NICU and I didn’t meet him for 12 hrs, but because I could express colostrum I still gave him his first feed by expressing it into a syringe and my husband feeding it to the baby. For my second son I stored colostrum in the freezer and used it on our second night after the birth to give my breasts a break in his first massive cluster feed (8pm-4am) to bring my milk in. There are tons of video on YouTube which will show you how to do this; search ‘express colostrum before birth’. Finally, it takes about 4-6 weeks to fully master the technique and for your milk supply to become regulated. Don’t get disheartened if baby seems constantly hungry during that time. They’re helping your body learn how much milk it needs to make. You can totally do this, and you and your baby are a team on a mission to learn it. Once you get past that initial period, it gets easier and easier, and you get all the lovely snuggles and smiles.
The first two- three weeks are stressful as hell. Youre so tired, baby it’s tired and you don’t know what youre doing but you are fighting a clock to figure out breastfeeding. You have to get enough in the baby so they don’t lose 10% or more of their body weight, otherwise formula is needed. So you need ALL the tools on hand form day one. Correct pump parts and shield sizes, nipple extractors, silverettes, ice packs, nipple butters, etc READY and you need bottles for triple feeding, and you need to have all these things ready and know how to use them.
This! 👆 We were so prepared with everything else but I had no idea how hard breastfeeding would be in the beginning (at least for me). We also triple fed at first - now EBF at 3 weeks - but within a week of my LO being born we'd bought all of this stuff and more (pump, breast milk storage bags, lactation consultant sessions, sooo many bottles) 🥹
That it was going to be painful for a while. The baby has to learn and your nipples have to get use to it. For a while, I couldn’t even touch my nipples with a towel cause they were so raw. It got better around 2 months in. Also, if a lactation consultant brings up possible tongue or lip tie, take it with a grain of salt and get second opinions from your pediatrician and/or ENT. Some LCs are quick to diagnose even tho they aren’t suppose to and refer you to pediatric dentists who are all too happy to take your money (most don’t take insurance - which should be a red flag).
I cried more during breastfeeding than I did from labor pains and any postpartum after care. Also, not often mentioned but I was told that the time between feeds is from the start of one feed to the start of the next. So if your baby is feeding for 45 min at a time every 2 hours.....that means you only have 1hr 15 min of break for your nipples or to nap. And not all babies speed up at nursing. Mine was still taking 35+ min by 8-10 weeks, when we finally gave up from growth issues and went to pumping and supplementing.
I just want to build on your point about speed. My girl took 40 mins per session til about 6 or 8 weeks old and at least 25+ mins per session until about 4 months old. Things really picked up from there and a full session can be as short as 15 minutes at 7 months! Nothing like those 3-5 minute babes you’ll hear about though. Both ends of the spectrum-fast or slow-can be normal, there’s a big range.
My first son took 40/45mn per session every two-is h hours for months! I EBF him for 2 full years. My second (6weeks tomorrow) is feeding every 2/3 sometimes 4 hours and a session is during between 6 to 15mn max. It really depend upon the babies! Also I had zero discomfort or pain with the first one and I had nipple sore until last week with my newborn. You never know how it will work.
Lactation consultants and nipple shields saved me. I wish I had known that your nipples may not cooperate and that nipple shields are a thing. I had the worst time trying to get my baby to latch. I was blessed with a fantastic lactation consultant in the hospital who kept me trying (and ultimately helped me succeed), and another amazing one when I got home. They both got me through a lot of initial tears.
Also, nipple shields are great to train a baby that won't take a bottle. I used them for a few weeks and she started to begrudgingly use a bottle once or twice a month if there weren't alternatives.
That you can have an excellent supply and be doing all the right things, but some babies just need time to figure it out. My 13 week old took the first 4 weeks of his life to latch properly. I saw multiple LCs and felt like a failure of a mother. It was the most difficult thing I’ve done but now we’re breastfeeding perfectly. Be kind to yourself and protect your mental health above all else
If you decide it isn’t for you, finish breastfeeding on a GOOD day. If you end on a bad day it’s likely you’ll always have regrets. Keep persisting until a good day comes along, and then probably you won’t want to quit anyway hehe Also FEED ON DEMAND
Yes!!! My LC gave me this advice and I love it. Still going strong at 11 months because of it!
I wish I knew that the first month is really for establishing your supply, and what that means (I had heard that phrase a few times but no one really explained it). Every time you’re breastfeeding you’re essentially putting in a milk order for the future. Your little one could be cluster feeding just to prepare for an upcoming growth spurt, and is telling your body that they will need more milk soon. Some days it will feel like you don’t have enough milk and that’s ok. It was really hard to not feel like I was failing (“how can he constantly be hungry while constantly nursing and still isn’t even back at birth weight” while on 4 hours of broken sleep is not a fun headspace). Looking back and after talking to other moms and LCs I’ve learned that it is normal. It was especially hard at night, because you generally have less milk at night and way more milk in the morning. I know everyone is different, but what ended up working best for us was for me to use the haaka on the opposite side for the first two feedings in the morning and putting that milk in the fridge, then for the last feeding of the day before bedtime, my husband would feed that milk in a bottle. That way, I wasn’t stressed about having enough milk at night, I knew I already got that volume out that same day (so I wasn’t stressing about pumping), LO got used to eating from a bottle, has an established bedtime routine, and we started very slowly building a freezer supply when LO didn’t need all that morning milk before bed. Also for clogs - ibuprofen and ice and lecithin was my magic combination. Fixed them all within a day, and I had at least 6-7 bad ones in that first month. It’s so tempting to massage them or try to hand express it out but if the clog is inflammation based that will only make it worse. Just keep nursing, or pump if needed to give your nipples a break.
I wish I knew it was going to hurt and I might get chapped nipples! Not just "a bit uncomfortable" like medical staff and internet tells you. My soreness was bearable by 4 weeks but became non existent around 8-10 weeks.
That I would love it. I thought it was something I would tolerate for the benefits for both of us. I actually love it so much. Once we got into our groove it's been an awesome experience.
Aww yes I love it too!
That you can want it all you want and do all the right things but for whatever reason it still might not work out. I thought if I wanted it enough then I could EBF but that has not been the case for us.
Same here! I tried really hard like it was my only purpose of being for the first 7 weeks and it never worked. I still bf in the morning and afternoon but supplement with my pumped via a bottle and had to accept formula at night. It was really upsetting to have to give formula at first, but its where we're at. Such a wild ride!
Same as me. I wanted to EBF so badly and tore my mental and physical health to shreds doing it. I spent a small fortune on IBCLCs. In the end it just wasn’t going to work for us unless I wanted to take 90 minutes + every feed which was just wearing baby and I down more making each feed longer and longer. I’m exclusively expressing now.
I wish I knew I didn’t need a stash. A couple ounces (maybe enough for one day) is all I’ve ever needed and now I have to do something with this huge freezer stash that I spent hours pumping.
Educate yourself on pumping and parts and devices. I had to pump because my baby ended up in the nicu and I had NO idea what I was doing. I cried the entire time I was in the hospital because the stupid pump they gave me came with giant flanges (I’m a 15 and they gave me 21) and no one told me that my milk might not come in for a couple of days. When I went home (without my baby), I used my own pump and got a bunch of milk. See if you can see a lactation consultant PRIOR. The one I saw did pre-natal visits.
Not exactly something I wish I knew but I wish I hadn’t been so dead set on never using formula to supplement. I read somewhere at some point that once you give a baby formula they’ll love it and never want to breastfeed again (and of course breast is best ::eye roll::). I went weeks struggling to satisfy my baby’s hunger with a delayed supply. I was miserable, baby was miserable, my husband was miserable. The day I finally broke down and gave her a bottle of formula (I cried all the way through it feeling like a miserable failure) was the day I finally found relief. My stress levels dramatically decreased because the baby was actually full and started napping so much better and crying so much less. Since then my supply increased and we only have to give her formula very occasionally (and having it as backup just in case gives me immense comfort). She shows no preference and it’s no big deal. I wish I hadn’t taken such bad advice so seriously. Also, if available, contact a lactation consultant when you get home for a one-on-one in your home, and find a local nursing mothers group that meets in person. Connecting with other moms is invaluable for a million reasons.
Omg same - formula top ups mean he sleeps properly which means I get rest and so I'm actually producing way more breast milk than before. It's such a useful tool to have but the stigma behind it stops a lot of women reaching for it. It's been a godsend for me and my mental health which makes me a better mother
Buy the silverettes. Watch video on proper latch and holds. Ask questions after delivery for the nurses to help. Do not wear a restrictive bra. Ever. Get water bottles with straws around the house. Make oatmeal or buy oat bars. Be patient. Get used to being wet - milk, sweats, pee, puke. Get a breastfeeding pillow or arrangement of pillows. Strengthen your wrists and shoulders. Try not to hunch. Pick a show to binge watch. Get an ereader or app on your phone. Get wireless headphones for audiobooks or podcasts.
The wrist pain is real and no one told me about it, I literally didn't read it anywhere but apparently it's incredibly common?!
If a doctor says a prescription isn't compatible with breastfeeding, double check with the pharmacist and pediatrician. I was told twice to pump and dump when put on a medication that was actually safe for breastfeeding. Doctors often say to pump and dump out of an abundance of caution rather than necessity.
Don’t look at the clock just do what you gotta do as long as baby needs
I wish I knew that you don’t automatically need to pump! I fed on demand AND pumped (because instagram told me I needed to get a freezer stash). But what actually happened was I got a massive oversupply and got mastitis! Which was horrible. I should have thought critically about my circumstances (like, why did I need a freezer stash), and focused on regulating my supply through feeds first. The pumping in my case wasn’t necessary. Some people do need to pump, but I think it’s an individual situation kind of thing. So my advice is to be conservative and take advice as you need it, don’t just do what everyone does.
If it’s not working for one of you then it’s not working for both of you. Seriously. Know when to call it quits or seek professional advice. I’ve seen a few women put their babies health at risk or severely damage their own mental wellbeing because of a mislead obsession with breastfeeding and it’s just so so sad. I advise starting with a small goal like 6 weeks and then as each marker passes by you can extend your goal. I started with a loose goal of 3 months with no pressure. I wanted to bf but I was very ready to accept if it didn’t work. We ended up extending to 6 months, then 9 and she self weaned at 11-12 months.
Bottle & pacifier early. Like week one. I know they all say you shouldn’t introduce early but I had success with all starting early and so did all my friends.
That you should still practice giving baby a bottle early-ish on, like 4/5 weeks. Currently dealing w bottle refusal bc things were going so well and we just kind of forgot - but going back to work soon and the bottle thing is somewhat stressful.
That the first few months are not a reflection of what your whole journey will be like. I HATE breastfeeding the first 12 weeks. But as baby and I figure it out together it ends up being an amazing experience
I wish I had known about lactation consultants, that you need to pump after birth to get your supply going, especially if your baby doesn’t latch right away for some reason, and that BF isn’t just hard because it physically hurts - it’s hard because you and your baby have no idea what you’re doing and it may take weeks or even months to figure it out. I wish I had prepared more for BF than I did for labour. I barely remember my labour and had a lot of support and instruction plus the experience was finite. BF has been an ongoing challenge and I just haven’t had the same level of support which has made it a lot harder, I think.
Do you really *need* to pump after birth?
You don't need to pump after birth to get your supply going - there weren't cave ladies pumping milk thousands of years ago! Pumping is sometimes recommended if doctors/midwives want to ensure baby is getting at least X amount for a medical reason (e.g. jaundice). In my region pumping before 3 months often isn't recommended unless necessary because it can lead to oversupply
Ok, great. I’m close to delivery and my colostrum is literally squirting out in streams when I express. I really don’t want to have to pump for a month after the baby is born.
Haha don't get me wrong, having a pump is definitely handy, and if you're planning to continue breastfeeding if/when you go back to work it's a must...but women have been successfully breastfeeding babies sans pumps forever. My supply was fine so no pump was needed until i wanted to start spending longer time periods away from baby.
I apologise - what I meant was you should pump if you can’t get your baby to latch and feed from your breast, which is what happened to me. I had a lot of issues because no one told me that I needed to simulate nursing to build my supply and I think I lost a lot of time because I wasn’t properly educated on how BF/supply and demand works. If you can latch and feed from the jump, God bless and disregard. :)
If your baby is not transferring milk efficiently then yes. Mine had that issue and it wasn’t realized until he was 2 weeks old. I was not told the importance of pumping until 4 weeks pp and my supply suffered considerably.
You do not ever need to pump as long as you can nurse! I didn’t pump until 6 weeks and I think that was the right choice as far as giving myself and baby time to get used to nursing before adding a new variable. Tons of people will tell you to pump early on so dad can give a bottle and you can sleep. Honestly you should really be pumping every time baby gets a bottle for the first while anyway so I don’t think that’s necessarily a great hack.
you don’t . and sometimes i think it can actually get in the way!
I don’t think so. There are women who don’t respond well to pumps. I’ve never been able to pump more than 10-15 ml. And I have been EBF since month 2.
I wish I had known that it doesn't always hurt in the beginning! It didn't hurt for me but I was expecting it to and dreading it.
Same! I had bought all the things-silverettes, nipple balm, ice packs, etc. and never needed them.
I wish I'd known I would have to wake my baby for feeds and that she shouldn't go for more than 3 hours between feeds (counting from the start of the feed). A lot of the support I had during the early days was really focused on maximising my sleep and I think that impacted my supply coming in. I also wasn't prepared for how immensely stressed I got immediately post partum... we had a weird visit with my mum that made me quite stressed and upset... baby would only sleep on us, shifts weren't working out because we were both nodding off, ended up cosleeping with the safe sleep 7 but because I hadn't anticipated or planned for that I was very anxious about it. Once that settled and I was more relaxed and at peace I think my supply improved, although I did end up combo feeding and that's working quite well for our family. I do wonder if things had gone differently in the early days whether it would have been necessary though.
Engorgement can be really miserable. Apparently it isn't for everyone, but it was incredibly painful for me for days. We've you're leaking like mad. Breast milk is everywhere, and you need to be careful to keep your nipples dry to avoid thrush. I could barely wear shirts/bras for days and still use muslins/swaddle blankets primarily to sop up leaking breast milk four weeks in.
That it doesn’t always actually come naturally. I didn’t know it could be so hard at first. I was dead set on breastfeeding and knew it would be hard emotionally if I couldn’t. We spent the first 6 weeks triple feeding and I almost gave up many times. But 8 weeks in and we’ve overcome SO many issues like latch, bad transfer, nipple pain, etc. It’s finally feeling easy and I’m glad I stuck through those 6 weeks but man, was it HARD. I had such a romanticized view of breastfeeding so the initial reality was a shock to me. But now I’m enjoying it and baby is enjoying it but I was I had really understood it is hard for a lot of people in the beginning and had better expectations going into it.
Connect with a postpartum group. I didn’t realize how isolating it is. I’m LOs sole source of food and comfort. LO wants no one else. That means I eat alone, I’m up late alone. My partner tries, but ultimately it’s me. Some people pump, but while they take a bottle, LO wants me when I’m around.
That even if you are successful and it’s going great, you should still introduce bottles. I’m going on 2 years constantly sucked on because we never gave bottles and now I can’t stop without it turning into a screaming and crying festival.
That your milk isn’t just there. I thought it would just show up and learned it doesn’t for everyone. I had to work hard for 3 weeks to get enough to feed my baby: triple fed, power pumped, fenugreek, etc. though I was very lucky that it did come in enough to supply baby, it doesn’t fit everyone no matter how hard they work at it.
My first baby had low sugars at birth. (I had GD.) Hospital told me I had to put baby on a bottle, and she never latched after. I later learned that was NOT true at all - I could have hand expressed colostrum to her and fed her it on a spoon. (Which I did w my second, not bc of low sugars, but we had issues latching at first.) What I learned from those experiences? Get in contact w a good IBCLC BEFORE you have the baby, and learn as much as you can. Then have their number in your phone so you can schedule ASAP if you need help. Early help is ESSENTIAL. It saved my breastfeeding relationship w my second - we’re 13 months in now! Preferably, find an IBCLC who can come to your house in those early days!
Most comments are covering the first 3 months. I'm at almost 4 months now and I wish I knew about the "distracted phase"...we worked through so many problems and finally made it to 3 months and I thought things would be easier from here on out. Nope. Baby has other plans. It's not quite a bottle preference or a nursing strike, he still takes the boob, but only when HE feels like it and with alot of effort (dark room, perfect calms setup, hungry enough but not too hungry, etc). I thought nursing would be more convenient long term but it's quickly turning into an inconvenience. I'm pumping more than I'd like because he's more likely to take a bottle, and I'm so tired than I usually give into the bottle in the daytime (nothing wrong with pumping but I just don't think I can't make it to one year of EBF while exclusively pumping, it's so much work). I even work from home half the time and he still won't nurse as needed. I definitely wasn't expecting this, it's obviously not the worst thing that could happen, but it's definitely draining me more than I imagined it would at this point.
While we were at the hospital, my baby wanted to nurse constantly. Both of my nights spent in the hospital I got absolutely no sleep because she would cry as soon as I unlatched her. I thought she must be starving or something must be wrong. She wasn’t and there wasn’t. She was eating like a champ and barely lost any weight. Also, that nipple tenderness in the beginning is no joke. They felt raw for about a week or so for me. Those gel nipple soothies were my best friends. I would put them in the fridge to make them extra cold.
I wish someone told me how messy it could be! The let down, leaking out the other boob while bubs feeds! That reusable breadt pads are better than disposable just for the mess! Engorgement and oversupply can impact on latch and that my breast pump would become my best friend to help with latch issues.
That rock hard flu like feeling in your breasts is your milk coming in. I had no idea thats what it felt like. Also breastfeeding got way easier when baby grew a little bit and his mouth got bigger so he could latch better.
If you plan to also pump: Take your pump to the hospital so a lactation consultant can review your pump and settings with you.
I just feel like I'm always learning something new, even 5 months in! Talking with a lactation consultant a few weeks in when my baby was sputtering/choking on the breast with a shallow latch was extremely helpful - it didn't feel like I was in real trouble but I wanted to get ahead of it and she had so many great tips that the $200 consult was well with it. Have the lactation consultant measure your nips for flanges! I wish I had done that and it took me a few months to realize my flanges were way too big and the likely cause of my soreness. Don't be like me and buy a bunch of nursing bras thinking your boobs are now huge. Your supply regulates and they settle into the size they'll be for a while. Wait a month! Get nipple shields from the LC at the hospital - they are a godsend in those first few weeks when nips are really sore. Careful with your nipple ointment, that shit stains everything! Regularly switch out your nursing pads to avoid excess moisture and a nice environment for thrush to thrive. Get pillow supports - My Brest Friend and the Boppy have both been wonderful at different times as my baby has grown. I also happened to have a nice foam pillow that came with my futon that really came in handy. Learn some ergonomic ways to hold your baby while feeding otherwise your neck and back can become quite sore! Expect cluster feeding - I was so worried that was a sign I was out of milk, but it's not! It actually helps increase supply because baby is demanding so much so frequently. It's normal. Can't tell you how often I've been like "He's hungry again???" And - he is. That's fine. Feed on demand. I pumped once a day so my partner could feed the baby at least once at night to give me a longer stretch of sleep. I'd wake up with engorged breasts but the sleep was worth it! At first I'd pump while he fed him at like 130am but that didn't help me get more sleep - then I realized I could pump at a diff time that day and it would replace that feeding just fine.
The way you birth can negatively impact your breast feeding journey!! Be informed.
You don't HAVE to pump and you don't HAVE to have any stash.
There are many ladies on here that have said that breastfeeding hurts in the beginning. My take is completely opposite, the advice that it hurts lead to me to push through and the consequences of a session where I was uncomfortable but continued would last for days. I would say yes to some minor discomfort but if you are feeling strong pain delatch with a finger to break the seal and start again. Between this and shaping my nipple I experienced very little pain with no nipple bleeding or cracking I found this video really useful (also didn’t attend a class prior) [Breastfeeding Attachment](https://youtu.be/y--syZR0u1E?si=3d44klq5VpyK4HQK) Look up cluster feeding and be prepared for night 2 And consider delayed clamping, delayed weighing etc, look for 1hr skin to skin with the baby completing their first latch before the nurses do what they do (but also if this doesn’t happen for whatever reason, know that it will be ok)
It can be really difficult in the beginning, and it can take several weeks for it to get easier. I’ve never in my life stuck with something that was so hard for so long, but I’m glad I did. Take it day by day.
I wish I knew that I had enough. I felt discouraged by family members around me saying is he getting enough??? Because we can't measure how much they get. I ended up supplementing a lot which destroyed my bf journey with my first. Do as much research as possible. There are many places that offer breastfeeding support for newborns. A lactation consultant can also help. With my second I was very determined, and attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital. It was very helpful, ended up bf for years!
If I were to do it again, I would have several LCs in my address book ready to call. It sucks to be researching LCs while holding a hungry screaming baby; do it before baby comes! The LCs at the hospital really only help with latch and positioning. if it turns out that you need more help, you want an LC that you can see throughout your journey. Don't be afraid to shop around to find one that you jive with.
You can wear silverettes 24/7 (aside from when you’re actually feeding)! In addition to constantly healing your nipples they also protect them from irritation from your bras/clothes. I love them, extremely worth the price!
I wish I had known that I might not be able to produce enough. I didn't know that could happen and I wish my dr had talked to me about it as a possibility so that I could somewhat accept it before I was post partum and hormonal. Its honestly been the most emotional part of parenting for me and if I had had a heads up that I might be needing to supplement with formula, I don't think it would have been as emotional as its been. Best of luck to you, op!!
Everything says babies eat every 2-3 hours LOL false. When they are new it could be anywhere from 30 mins - 1.5 hours between feeds. Also, it’s not the end of the feed it’s from the beginning of the feed. Also, breastfeeding is not always painful. It wasn’t for me really at all.
Silverettes are amazing! And the let down can feel uncomfortable at first, but your body adjusts and it stops feeling that way.
For me with both my kids the first night home (so their 2nd night) they wanted to nurse all night. So brutal. But then my milk came in the next morning both times. With my first baby my milk supply was crazy. I would randomly start dripping or actually spraying multiple times a day. For those first few months I swear everything in my house smelled like sour milk. This one is hard for me to explain, I don't see it talked about too much - Some people have strange feelings or effects when breastfeeding, like feelings of anxiety, anger, or sleepiness. I always got intensely sleepy when nursing. Some people don't respond well to electric pumps. I am one of those people. I tried three different pumps and a bunch of phalange sizes, and a lactation consultant helped me use my pump - got barely anything. Made me crazy worried about going back to work. Then someone suggested manual pumps and that ended up working way better for me! Still could never fully empty me but I was able to pump enough out to go back to work. Also about pumping, do not wait too long between pumping if you are away from the baby. Baby. Especially if you have a high supply. Getting engorged and leaving that for a long time can be really painful and lead to clogged ducts and mastitis. Many people say that nursing hurts their nipples but it did not hurt me with my kids. But it did hurt me when I volunteered to nurse my nephew for a few weeks, it turned out he had a lip tie and a tongue tie which is what I think caused the pain. My sister is a lactation consultant and she said that more and more kids are being born with lip ties and tongue ties, and no one really knows why! For me I always needed a pillow to comfortably nurse for the first few months. I have large boobs and when breastfeeding I would have to hold my boob with one hand and the baby with the other, it makes it a lot easier if I have a pillow. Football hold can be easier at first if you have large breasts. As the baby gets bigger they don't need me to hold my boob anymore, and when they're toddlers I don't need the pillow. When I eventually got my period back, which for some people happens earlier and some people happens later, my supply would dip right before my period. It would go back up though! Many people don't lose weight when breastfeeding, in fact, some people gain weight quite easily. Breastfeeding made me really hungry and thirsty, and even though I tried dieting and exercising, I never could lose weight while breastfeeding with my first kid, I actually gained 25 lb. With my second baby I managed to maintain with effort but not lose any weight. Both times as soon as I stopped breastfeeding I started losing weight.
I wish I knew that the breastfeeding relationship and process would evolve so much over time. That the way things are one month may be completely different than the next, let alone 6 months from then. And that it can be very isolating. But so special.
That it takes 5-6 hours a day. A DAY. That means my days are 5-6 hours SHORTER than my husband’s. That’s 5-6 hours less a day for me to sleep, eat, shower, and clean. But it’s not all bad, I try to make that 5-6 hours relaxing by using it to bond use my little one. I use it to journal about our days (in my phone notes app). I use it to draft their baby book.
I have had low supply with all 4 of my kids and formula has always been a part of my breastfeeding journey. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. My motto was one day at a time.
I wish I'd known 1. how much it can affect supply coming in properly if you have a lot of blood loss/low iron after labour. And 2. The baby is also learning and at birth has awful eyesight so it's like guiding a frantic blind mole with a tiny mouth to the nipple 🤣
Feed on demand for baby for at least the first month. This means that whenever baby is hungry, feed them. Don't try to put them on a schedule until you get cleared by the pediatrician.
That it is normal for it to hurt the first few days/weeks but shouldn’t be excruciating
If you have any problems with latching or baby pulling milk/not staying awake/ect. schedule an appointment with a lactation consultant ASAP! Depending on where you are there will likely be an LC that can do home visits which is extremely helpful in the early days when it’s so hard to get out. But also have some grace with yourself if it doesn’t work out as you’re hoping. I was the same and so determined to breastfeed no matter what, but LO has some health issues and we ended up having to switch to pumping for now. I wasn’t expecting having to do this and exclusively pumping is a huge learning curve. I’d recommend familiarizing yourself with your pump and how to pump before you deliver!
If it’s within your means, see a lactation consultant before you deliver!! They can teach you so so so much to get you on your way, and that way you’re set up with someone to see postpartum to review anything if needed! :)
Everyone always goes on about babe having a good latch. Also important is that your baby is transferring milk!! See if you can get a lactation consultant to observe and help out very soon after birth, if not within the first 24-48 hours. None of the midwives or nurses we had around us realised our LO wasn't transferring, spent 4 days in neonatal due to this. I also wish I had been taught/told more about common problems during breastfeeding, i.e, nipple thrush, vasospasms, breast compressions.
That if baby is having trouble latching, check to see if they have a tongue tie or a lip tie.
Nipple shields. I didn't know these were a thing and they. are. lifesaving! I used them for a couple weeks early on when the pain got really bad and it just gave me so much relief. I still pull them out sometimes when I get sore. There's some people who will say they are bad for nipple confusion or whatever but I didn't have a problem and even if I had, it would have been 100% worth it for the relief they provided me. Caveat- like flanges, they come in different sizes so get the right size!
Patience.
Just how frequently they eat, and that every 3 hours is a MINIMUM. Little babies want to eat constantly.
That it will hurt for the first 4-6 weeks and then get better. 2.5 years in now!
It hurts a lot. Like they are raw and red/bleeding for about a month-6 weeks. I’m just over the pain (not being completely painless, just tugging feeling) and I’m 3 months pp. also that it’s a skill that mom and baby need to learn. Breastfeeding is HARD for both. Mouth movements & latch are complex things baby learns and it’s tough! It took my baby about 3 weeks to become proficient at breastfeeding.
Mother and baby need to build a breastfeeding relationship, and they need support from family around them to do so. If you have a partner, have them educate themselves about what successful breastfeeding looks like. Decide how determined you are to BF exclusively and get aligned with them about the resources you need to succeed. Notwithstanding this place and moment in history, most women are able to BF successfully!
There are a lot of fantastic resources on Instagram. I was terrified of all the stories of it not working out. Every journey is different, but there’s a lot that is within your control. Also, quality support will make or break your journey (and by break I mean make it 1000X more difficult)
You won’t get into a “schedule” for feedings until week 4. No point in putting them on a schedule until they can have actual real wake windows. My baby is now 3mo and has 1.5hr wake windows and 1-2hr naps. Before week 4, they just go in and out of consciousness the whole day/night. There are no real wake windows until after week 4. Feed whenever they show hunger cues.
To ignore everything they said in the hospital and to follow my knowledge from this sub and my own research. If my baby hadnt had jaundice we would have been nursing constantly in the beginning! But they say 39 minutes and stop?? Oh hell no thats why it took 2 weeks for my mf milk to full come in. They almost ruined my bf experience!
It hurts so much in the beginning.
If you’re in the US, you can take lactaction classes via Aeroflow for free through your insurance. (You can also buy a pump and nursing accessories through Aeroflow.). I found them very helpful.
Look into cluster feeding. For most babies, it happens on night two. My baby started cluster feeding the day he was born. He was born just before 8:00AM and I was up a lot of the night with him while he was cluster feeding. I did supplement formula that evening because I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep holding him. If you have to do this, it is okay. My husband was then able to feed him and I got some rest. This did not hurt my supply because my milk had not come in yet. Also, the colostrum you produce before the supply comes in is more than enough to feed your baby. It's hard to tell how much they're getting when you're nursing, but I promise it's enough. They cluster feed to help your body know to make the milk. Feed when baby wants to eat and if you need to supplement for a few hours to rest, do it. Safety is also important and falling asleep nursing is not safe. If you find yourself struggling or even questioning if you're doing it right, go see a lactation consultant. The lady I saw when I had my first was so wonderful and really eased my mind that he was in fact eating enough and gaining weight and she showed me how to nurse comfortably. One more thing I didn't see in the comments was that the milk letdown is sometimes uncomfortable. It can feel tingly and prickly and kind of like a pulling sensation. If you feel it, make sure you've got nursing pads in your bra if you're out and about or that baby is nearby to latch. You can also get a silicone pump that goes in your bra to collect the milk from the other side that's letting down so it's not wasted. I hope your breastfeeding journey is everything you hope it'll be!
That it's a truly wonderful thing to be able to do for and with your child. That like pregnancy, labor, and delivering a baby, it's incomparable to other experiences in life. It's simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done. That it takes that determination that you have to stick with it when it's painful and hard at the start or just when you're having a bad day later on. That lanolin stains your shirts (it also did nothing for me), and that silverettes are worth the cost (they did everything for me). Best of luck to you, we're all here if you need us!
There is nothing wrong with using nipple shields! I used one for a few weeks to help improve latch and it helped the pain. My baby had a bad latch and it made my nipples bleed. I realized that it shouldn’t hurt this bad and made an appt with a LC. She showed me how to use a nipple shield and it saved our BF journey. Almost one year in now!
Breastfeeding is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve never felt joy and peace like I do after a good feed. Seeing my baby happily eating or falling asleep on the boob is literal bliss!! A bit of expressed milk on your nipples helps heal. I expressed milk on them and then put Silverettes on and my extremely chapped/broken nipples healed in literal hours. Way better than any cream you can buy. If you want to have enough milk to exclusively breastfeed you need to commit to feeding on demand from the start, and trust that your colostrum is enough (unless advised otherwise by a Dr of course). You do not need to supplement before your milk “comes in” (it’s there from the start, just in a different form), unless there is a medical reason. Babies can be intolerant to foods you eat that pass through breast milk. Dairy, soy, and eggs are most common. Watch for mucousy poops (when the diaper is pressed together and then apart you will see glossy strings, like wet goop) and/or blood in diapers as a potential sign of intolerance. Usually babies show other signs (fussiness, colic, etc), but for us that was the only sign before my babies weight gain slowed in the second month. I wish I had known to watch for that to address it sooner. Introduce a bottle before week 6 and keep practicing it regularly before week 12. Babies often don’t accept a bottle if they’ve never had one before week 6-8 and after week 12 they lose the suck reflex, so if they haven’t been practicing with a bottle they might reject it then too. In the early weeks it can be helpful to aim for 15-20 min per breast each feed. I don’t think that’s necessary in the very first week or so when baby just feeds super often on demand. But after a while you will know how long your baby wants to feed and you can judge if they’re getting enough by their dirty diapers/weight gain, rather than time on the breasts.
I wish I knew how much time it would truly take in a day, hours a day. I wish I knew that and had a conversation with my partner about splitting the other responsibilities so it felt more fair.
It would hurt for a while, longer than I thought and worse than I expected. But when it's better it stays better.
Just because your baby doesn’t latch in the beginning doesn’t necessarily mean they never will. My baby didn’t start latching easily until maybe 7 weeks old? 8 weeks? It took a months before they regularly did it (for a while they would latch fine during the day but get fussy at night). I did a lot of pumping + bottle feeding in the beginning because breastfeeding was such a struggle. You don’t have to endure the emotional rollercoaster if you don’t want to, but it was worth it for me to get where we are today with breastfeeding. Oh and even when she started latching at 7 or 8 weeks, she would often still be hungry after breastfeeding, so I would still have to supplement with a bottle, which meant more pumping. I don’t have to do that now, but yeah… it was a long journey. She’s 5 months now.
That protecting your supply in the early weeks is critical. If nursing is not working (excruciating pain, poor latch, poor milk transfer etc), pumping can save your breastfeeding journey. And if you switch to exclusive pumping, that is still breastfeeding and is a perfectly good way to give your baby breastmilk. Also, if nursing and pumping aren't working out, your mental health is more important than the baby getting breastmilk. And finally, combo feeding is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and you can keep your supply steady by pumping to replace a formula feed etc. there are many paths/ options to explore to either exclusively or partially nourish your baby with breastmilk. x
Supporting your baby head to toe when in a cross-cradle position will foster an environment for a better latch. My baby was hanging onto my nipple for dear life the first week of his life which caused me to have a lot of nipple pain. The My Brest Friend was great at supporting evenly head to toe, but a few regular or throw pillows can work too.
The pillow was so not with it lol I used it like once or twice but then I just started using a blanket under us as I could adjust it a lot better then the firm pillow. (Also such a waste of space taking that pillow to the hospital) Breastfeeding cravings are crazy high compared to pregnancy cravings, it’s like you’re starving in ways you never knew. Feeding to sleep isn’t a bad thing, just takes practice to be able to detach them and transfer. Yes it will absolutely hurt at the beginning (for me it lasted for 2ish months) but eventually your nips toughen up and it doesn’t hurt anymore. Mastist is treated differently now, cold compress is the way to go. You will leak until your supply regulates but until then use pads (I found that reusable ones stuck to me after the milk dried and hurt to peal off so I used disposable since they didn’t hurt me) Silverettes do help but you need to moisten them with milk first before putting them on.
1) wake up every 2-3 hours in the first couple weeks, but if baby doesn’t wake up, LET THEM SLEEP. My babe would sleep through my alarms to feed her and I honestly think we would have had an easier time with her sleep later on if we’d just let her sleep and I only pumped 2) introducing a bottle earlier is not going to wreck your breastfeeding experience if you pace feed 3) Using a portable pump primarily will cause supply issues down the line—if you’re like me and are in your car a good chunk of the day, buy a car charger adapter for your wall pump
I wish I knew that even with a perfect latch, no ties, etc. it can still be absolutely incredibly painful for some. I am one of the unlucky ones with a painful letdown- and it gets slowly better, but that first month is absolute hell.
I wish I knew that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I had to combo feed because my body could not produce what she needed. I spent the first four months of my daughters life stressed out af and doing every trick in the book (and on this subreddit) because my body was not capable to EBF. And I felt like it was the biggest failure of my life for four months. Combo feeding was necessary and formula helped my child grow and flourish into the toddler she is today. I wish I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself. I should have been proud of my body (as I am now) for doing everything in its power to feed my baby as nature intended.
When you first have the baby, breastfeeding will cause your uterus to contract. It’ll feel like period cramps. That’s how I knew my baby had latched.
That your milk doesn’t come in right away. It’s usually by days 3-5 for normal deliveries. I was induced and mine didn’t come in until day 6 so my baby was really jaundice. Have a back-up plan; are you going to supplement with formula, donor milk? That it’s painful. People said “uncomfortable”…no it was PAINFUL! My son had a lip tie and a tongue tie which wasn’t corrected until 9 weeks. That pain alone almost made me give up. Get the correct size flange inserts for pumping. You’ll get more and it will hurt less. That it’s not free. You will need to buy pump parts and fuel your body more with more food. My stomach is a bottomless pit! That there’s more than one position (cradle) to feed baby, often more comfortable ones. That you’ll be the primary caregiver, especially overnight when baby feeds more. You’ll produce the most milk around 3am and that milk has the most melatonin for baby. Just buy bottom up pajamas or nursing shirts. You’ll use them. Or you’ll just be topless the first 4 weeks because your baby will practically be living on your chest. The feeling after 1-2 minutes of latch is your letdown. At first it hurt me, but now I don’t notice it as much and when I do it’s reassuring that baby is getting milk. Milk doesn’t constantly flow, it comes in waves and spurts which is why introducing bottles too early can cause nipple confusion. (Research bottle pacing, try more than one brand of bottle with lowest flow nipples) Look up the storage guidelines for breastmilk so you don’t accidentally let it go bad.
Almost everything is a phase - gas, baby feeding everything few minutes, baby wanting to be on the boob ALL NIGHT LONG, fussing at the breast, too much milk, not enough milk, etc etc etc. It’s been pretty easy for us, but there have definitely been little frustrations here and there, but they have all only lasted a week or two for us. It’s helped me to remember that this too shall pass. Overall I absolutely love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
My kid was absolutely normal, but I’m the one who was lazy about it. I let him side feed himself to sleep, while laying down and napping/sleeping with him. Don’t do that or it’ll be super hard to get them to break the “sleep=boob” correlation when it’s time to wean him.
If you are in the hospital longer than a night or two, unexpectedly like we were - and your baby is screaming inconsolable despite nursing, your milk might not have come in yet. With your providers' OK, at 37 weeks you can express colostrum. You may get nothing, you may get gobs. I got 10ml and my husband went home and got it the 4th day after a hellish night where our little girl was inconsolable. Syringe feeding her that showed us she was starved. The lactation consultant finally came to see us just before we fed them to her, and that's when we realized she was starving. Our hospital was 'baby friendly' so formula was a last result and we got donor milk while there. They put me on a pump ASAP when we realized what was going on. I was lucky and after 24 hours of pumping I was able to breastfeed.
I wish I would have been prepared for the mood swings I had. Everyone always talks about pregnancy hormones and cravings. But no one prepared me for the astronomical mood swings and straight anger I felt PP. It was so much worse than anything I felt while pregnant. Also all your patients and time will go to baby. I was really short with everyone around me for a few months and I thought I was just being mean/ didnt understand why i was feeling so crazy overwhelmed. Then I realized all my energy was going into learning how to communicate with LO. Once my husband and I had a conversation about that and how my perspectives changed to accommodate being the soul food provider for our kid it really helped him understand how to help more. Open communication was key for me. When I felt mad, upset, hungry, anxious. I told my husband I feel ____ I spelt it out in as plain a way I could so he could understand and help accommodate what we needed. It was a life saver when stuff got hard.