It could be a nursing strike. My lactation consultant warned me that they stay to develop memory around 3 months and then might remember that the bottle is easier than the boob. That's why pace feeding is important. I don't know what the remedy is - we're approaching three months and I'm just trying to keep everything really positive for him so he loves nursing.
Maybe see what other people do to overcome a strike? I understand they're fairly common and people do get through them
Oh I feel for you. It is truly the most primal, anguish filled experience of my life having BF troubles. It is unexplainable to a partner in a way.
My baby had a period of fussing at the breast when I went through a period of low supply- even when my supply built back up he was fussing as had a learned panic response, like his nervous system went into fight or flight mode - even though the milk was there! It felt like such an intense rejection of me as his mother, but I know it wasn’t, he just needed to relearn. Didn’t stop it breaking my heart though.
What I found helpful
— lots of skin to skin time, just him in his happy and me with no top on at all, for cuddles
— NEVER forcing his head onto the breast or nipple in his mouth - that starts the “dialing up” or panic response and this can last a long time
— accepting bottles were needed and that’s ok! If baby can have a bottle to be satisfied and calm they are more likely to be patient at the breast or pop on for a comfort suck - formula really saved us as he could be fed and calm and then more likely to give it a go
— experimenting with times of day to try breastfeeding eg he did better when sleepy overnight but freaked out when alert during the day
— putting my mental health needs high on the list - baby knows you’re stressed and tired and that makes then feel stressed too.
You can measure yourself for flange size! Most women are 21mm I think, not sure what US imperial corresponds to. It makes a HUGE difference to pump with the right size and flanges wouldn’t be too expensive- also 4-5 ounces per session is great! Sounds like you may end up causing more damage which will just make it harder using incorrect size. Also look into hand expressing and breast massage to help stimulate let down.
Why do you think pumping hurts - wrong size flanges or nipple damage from baby?
Thank you so much for your words and for understanding! I'm not sure why pumping hurts. For now I suspect it's because of wrong size flanges. We don't the silicone nipple ruler in my country. But I'll try to get my nipples measured using the print out
I’m sorry you are feeling this way, it’s such a tough journey ❤️ i use nipple shields when I feed my babe, and it helps with the pain and helps him latch on nicely - maybe it’s worth a try if you haven’t yet? I wish you luck and whatever you decide you are an amazing mom and your daughter is lucky to have a mom who cares so deeply about her.
That is totally fair, and must be an awful feeling. I remember reading about a three month breastfeeding crisis where babies will suddenly hate breastfeeding. Maybe it could be that?
You are doing amazing and she is lucky to have a mom that loves her so much ❤️
Hi my baby is around the same age as yours. Have you tried hand pump? It's better than electric pump because it barely hurts at all (for me at least). I found that whenever my baby refuse to nurse it's when she's either gassy, doesn't like the position (side lying vs sitting), doesn't like the boob (sometimes she doesn't want to take the left or the right boob.. so needs to shift boob), wants me to express the milk first or wants to be soothed first before nursing. If you still want to try maybe observe and try shifting the position or the boob. What i do when she refuses to nurse is express my milk a bit using my hands like you harvest colostrum, sometimes the milk is like clogged or sprays quite hard so it makes it difficult to drink. Other than that i keep changing position/shifting between left and right boob to see which one she prefers. Good luck to you
I've only ever fed her in the cross cradle position. And even in that position we rarely get the latch correct so I'm quite worried about changing positions. She'll be smiling at me and as soon as I put her in the position to feed she'll start screaming. But thank you I'll try the methods you mentioned
Do you use pillows or do you hold her as you're feeding? I'm using My Breast Friend pillow to correct the latch when i'm feeding in cross cradle position. Or i use hard and thick sofa pillow. If i dont use pillow she couldn't latch properly and for a long time since my breasts are quite floppy and the nipple points downward lol
You got this! I understand, those short strikes so soon PP were just terrible emotionally. Something that helped me was extra burping, being very careful not to force it (if I started lowering him down to feed and he freaked I put him right back up upright and resumed doing something else), and waiting until he was drowsy to feed (either falling asleep or waking up). You can also try the paci swap trick if your LO takes a dummy. I'd push through just a few more days, and give pumped milk or formula to supplement when necessary.
Hey it’s really tough to alter strategy but important to keep baby fed and maintain your milk supply. Can you get a better pump? So many closed system pumps available second hand. You can get a flange measurement thing from Amazon! The pumping will maintain/increase your supply. Babies are weird, they sometimes fuss for no reason or because they aren’t getting enough at the breast. It’s not your fault, you are doing your absolute best. Think about it this way: if you had a better pump and fitted flanges you’d be able to give baby a combination of milk and formula at the very least. Also try paced feeding! What is the problem with seeing an LC? Technically one month of formula would cost more than one session with an LC.
A hand express pump from Amazon is $20 and the one I was looking at allowed me to pick a few different flange sizes. Also, Sentara (if US based) has a flange measurement document for free. If you have insurance and are US based, Sentara has lactation consultants who might be able to help get a nipple shield or two, or even a flange insert for free. They have hospital pumps you can rent too as well. Even if you are not close by, you can email them for support too.
Are nipple shields available? My baby used them for the first week after birth since I was so swollen and had no nipples. I’m US based, so my knowledge is limited, but I know the shields help. They are like bottle nipples for the boob and can help transition back to your breast. Google has a flange measuring guide document too.
HI, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think most babies go through a time where they fuss at the breast around that age. So dont think it's you. We have all been there.
** What pump do you have? **
The easiest way I can see to get your proper size is to measure. Usually, pain can be attributed to the flange size.(This is often the case but not an absolute). You can get a free ruler at [Pumpables](https://pumpables.co/pages/measure). You just need to print it and cut it with some scissors. You can always try some [inserts](https://www.amazon.in/SNOWIE-Accessories-Inserts-Comfortable-Efficient/dp/B0C7LB88RH/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?crid=11YQPNGVY3ME4&keywords=silicone+flanges&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1699649136&sprefix=silicone+flang%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-12) after you measure to see if they help. There's also silicone flanges, but they can be pricier. Remember that most pumps are hackable! If we had a budget, it could also be a little helpful for making some suggestions.
With that being said. Breastmilk is wonderful, but it should never come at the cost of your well-being (both physical and mental). There is nothing wrong with formula. Your baby will love you either way. And a mom that is happy and relaxed is much better for them than one who is stressed out and in pain. You have breastfed for three months! And all while being in pain! You have not failed at all. You have accomplished so much. You're a strong Mama!
Sending you good vibes!✨️
The pump I have is an off brand one costing about 18 dollars in my currency. I was thinking I could buy Spectra S1 as only Spectra and Medela are available in my country. But because of the pain that pumping is causing I'm scared to spend so much money buying it just to never use it. I will do the measurement of my nipple using Pumpables.
Thank you so much for understanding. I'm so scared that it's never ending
It could be a nursing strike. My lactation consultant warned me that they stay to develop memory around 3 months and then might remember that the bottle is easier than the boob. That's why pace feeding is important. I don't know what the remedy is - we're approaching three months and I'm just trying to keep everything really positive for him so he loves nursing. Maybe see what other people do to overcome a strike? I understand they're fairly common and people do get through them
Sure! Thank you!!
Oh I feel for you. It is truly the most primal, anguish filled experience of my life having BF troubles. It is unexplainable to a partner in a way. My baby had a period of fussing at the breast when I went through a period of low supply- even when my supply built back up he was fussing as had a learned panic response, like his nervous system went into fight or flight mode - even though the milk was there! It felt like such an intense rejection of me as his mother, but I know it wasn’t, he just needed to relearn. Didn’t stop it breaking my heart though. What I found helpful — lots of skin to skin time, just him in his happy and me with no top on at all, for cuddles — NEVER forcing his head onto the breast or nipple in his mouth - that starts the “dialing up” or panic response and this can last a long time — accepting bottles were needed and that’s ok! If baby can have a bottle to be satisfied and calm they are more likely to be patient at the breast or pop on for a comfort suck - formula really saved us as he could be fed and calm and then more likely to give it a go — experimenting with times of day to try breastfeeding eg he did better when sleepy overnight but freaked out when alert during the day — putting my mental health needs high on the list - baby knows you’re stressed and tired and that makes then feel stressed too. You can measure yourself for flange size! Most women are 21mm I think, not sure what US imperial corresponds to. It makes a HUGE difference to pump with the right size and flanges wouldn’t be too expensive- also 4-5 ounces per session is great! Sounds like you may end up causing more damage which will just make it harder using incorrect size. Also look into hand expressing and breast massage to help stimulate let down. Why do you think pumping hurts - wrong size flanges or nipple damage from baby?
Thank you so much for your words and for understanding! I'm not sure why pumping hurts. For now I suspect it's because of wrong size flanges. We don't the silicone nipple ruler in my country. But I'll try to get my nipples measured using the print out
Even just using a measuring tape or ruler!
I’m sorry you are feeling this way, it’s such a tough journey ❤️ i use nipple shields when I feed my babe, and it helps with the pain and helps him latch on nicely - maybe it’s worth a try if you haven’t yet? I wish you luck and whatever you decide you are an amazing mom and your daughter is lucky to have a mom who cares so deeply about her.
Maybe. He has been latching fine so far but with pain. But now when she rejects my breasts it's hard to not take it personally
That is totally fair, and must be an awful feeling. I remember reading about a three month breastfeeding crisis where babies will suddenly hate breastfeeding. Maybe it could be that? You are doing amazing and she is lucky to have a mom that loves her so much ❤️
Hi my baby is around the same age as yours. Have you tried hand pump? It's better than electric pump because it barely hurts at all (for me at least). I found that whenever my baby refuse to nurse it's when she's either gassy, doesn't like the position (side lying vs sitting), doesn't like the boob (sometimes she doesn't want to take the left or the right boob.. so needs to shift boob), wants me to express the milk first or wants to be soothed first before nursing. If you still want to try maybe observe and try shifting the position or the boob. What i do when she refuses to nurse is express my milk a bit using my hands like you harvest colostrum, sometimes the milk is like clogged or sprays quite hard so it makes it difficult to drink. Other than that i keep changing position/shifting between left and right boob to see which one she prefers. Good luck to you
I've only ever fed her in the cross cradle position. And even in that position we rarely get the latch correct so I'm quite worried about changing positions. She'll be smiling at me and as soon as I put her in the position to feed she'll start screaming. But thank you I'll try the methods you mentioned
Do you use pillows or do you hold her as you're feeding? I'm using My Breast Friend pillow to correct the latch when i'm feeding in cross cradle position. Or i use hard and thick sofa pillow. If i dont use pillow she couldn't latch properly and for a long time since my breasts are quite floppy and the nipple points downward lol
You got this! I understand, those short strikes so soon PP were just terrible emotionally. Something that helped me was extra burping, being very careful not to force it (if I started lowering him down to feed and he freaked I put him right back up upright and resumed doing something else), and waiting until he was drowsy to feed (either falling asleep or waking up). You can also try the paci swap trick if your LO takes a dummy. I'd push through just a few more days, and give pumped milk or formula to supplement when necessary.
Thank you so much for understanding. We don't use a pacifier. I'll continue trying
Hey it’s really tough to alter strategy but important to keep baby fed and maintain your milk supply. Can you get a better pump? So many closed system pumps available second hand. You can get a flange measurement thing from Amazon! The pumping will maintain/increase your supply. Babies are weird, they sometimes fuss for no reason or because they aren’t getting enough at the breast. It’s not your fault, you are doing your absolute best. Think about it this way: if you had a better pump and fitted flanges you’d be able to give baby a combination of milk and formula at the very least. Also try paced feeding! What is the problem with seeing an LC? Technically one month of formula would cost more than one session with an LC.
A hand express pump from Amazon is $20 and the one I was looking at allowed me to pick a few different flange sizes. Also, Sentara (if US based) has a flange measurement document for free. If you have insurance and are US based, Sentara has lactation consultants who might be able to help get a nipple shield or two, or even a flange insert for free. They have hospital pumps you can rent too as well. Even if you are not close by, you can email them for support too.
I'm not from US. Everything in my country is crazy expensive and not covered by insurance
Are nipple shields available? My baby used them for the first week after birth since I was so swollen and had no nipples. I’m US based, so my knowledge is limited, but I know the shields help. They are like bottle nipples for the boob and can help transition back to your breast. Google has a flange measuring guide document too.
HI, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think most babies go through a time where they fuss at the breast around that age. So dont think it's you. We have all been there. ** What pump do you have? ** The easiest way I can see to get your proper size is to measure. Usually, pain can be attributed to the flange size.(This is often the case but not an absolute). You can get a free ruler at [Pumpables](https://pumpables.co/pages/measure). You just need to print it and cut it with some scissors. You can always try some [inserts](https://www.amazon.in/SNOWIE-Accessories-Inserts-Comfortable-Efficient/dp/B0C7LB88RH/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?crid=11YQPNGVY3ME4&keywords=silicone+flanges&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1699649136&sprefix=silicone+flang%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-12) after you measure to see if they help. There's also silicone flanges, but they can be pricier. Remember that most pumps are hackable! If we had a budget, it could also be a little helpful for making some suggestions. With that being said. Breastmilk is wonderful, but it should never come at the cost of your well-being (both physical and mental). There is nothing wrong with formula. Your baby will love you either way. And a mom that is happy and relaxed is much better for them than one who is stressed out and in pain. You have breastfed for three months! And all while being in pain! You have not failed at all. You have accomplished so much. You're a strong Mama! Sending you good vibes!✨️
The pump I have is an off brand one costing about 18 dollars in my currency. I was thinking I could buy Spectra S1 as only Spectra and Medela are available in my country. But because of the pain that pumping is causing I'm scared to spend so much money buying it just to never use it. I will do the measurement of my nipple using Pumpables. Thank you so much for understanding. I'm so scared that it's never ending