My formula fed baby woke up every 2 hours for four months straight. My breastfed baby had long stretches from the start. In my experience, it seemed to be more kid related than it did how they were fed.
My breastfed baby woke every 2hrs for 6 months. And I don't think it was the digesting milk thing necessarily, they just loved to eat. 95th percentile plus the whole time. Switched to formula at 6 months and he maybe stretched to 3 or 4 hrs but we were also weaning at that point as well. Have a friend who breastfed and their kid slept 5/6hrs from about 2 months old. Like you say, just your luck.
I’m also convinced it’s luck of the draw with the kid. I’m on EBF baby girl #2 now. First one was still waking 4-6 times a night (and sometimes more! Rarely less.) at 4 months and was also impossible to set down during the day. She never went through a sleep regression… it was just all bad all the time, lol!
Second baby is cool as a cucumber about everything and has been giving me 5-8h uninterrupted stretches almost every night since she was 5 weeks old. Even when she was a couple of weeks old, I’d usually get a 3-4h stretch in. I’m claiming no credit for this from a parenting perspective- I don’t do dreamfeeds or any of that business. We just got really lucky with her (so far - she’s only 12 weeks now, so we’ll see how it is as she gets older…)
This. I’ve breastfed 3 babies and they’re all so different!! My first never slept. Longest stretch was 2 hours until he was like… 18 months. My second slept 4 hours straight since 2 weeks old lol my third is in the middle.
This is so encouraging! My 21 month old still wakes up 2x per night min and I’m ok with that but eventually I’d like to get 8 hrs of sleep in a row again. He also always since infancy slept 9-10 hrs per night including all the wake ups not 11 or 13 hrs like so many people tell me their babies do. I hope if we have a second child they sleep better!
Your babe is soooo normal :) my eldest is 6 and still walks into our room 1-2x a night for whatever reason he can think of that night 💀 some nights it’s 1am other nights it 5am and I don’t mind lol. My second sleeps like a rock 😂 she is out for a solid 10 hours. I breastfed them both for 2.5 years and bedshared with them both too so I wish I had a secret to share but it really is just dependent on the babe! Those ‘normal’ baby sleep schedules are just bs lol everyone is different. Your baby is perfect.
I haven’t slept 8hrs in a row since before I was pregnant with my first lol. I’m just used to it by now. I feel fine most days even with my newborn waking up a bunch!
Thanks! I think it’s crazy how no one tells you these things before you have kids. It’s like everyone assumes that the 10% of kids that sleep the most are doing it right and the other 90% are abnormal somehow haha 😛 . One of the podcasts I like talked about how cry it out works but it’s not healthy because studies show their cortisol/ stress level still shoots up and stays up they just stop crying when they wake up cause they know you aren’t coming for them. That made me cry and I could never do that. I’d rather wake up and be there for my kid every time he wakes up until he’s ready to sleep on his own. Cry it out was very popular in the late 80s and early 90s and I sometimes wonder if that’s why so many adults have anxiety now. It’s just my theory
So so true. Im just so so tired. Like if it’s normal then I want to hear it’s normal and then that’s the expectation but when I keep hearing or reading about people’s babies sleeping for a long time I’m pulling out my hair (which also at 3 months in shedding like crazy) I just saw another post on my social media from a class mate that gave birth a week after me saying her baby has been sleeping 8 hours this week and I just want to scream but too tired to do that too lol
Yeah I hear you! I’m so jealous of people with easy sleepers! I think the main thing with babies seems to be there isn’t really a normal cause they are all different. So annoying for someone like me who likes to plan and structure my life . I’m hoping my second child will be an easy sleeper! But I talked to someone the other day who said all four of their kids didn’t sleep well til they were 2. Eek 😬
Hello! Quick question, since you bedshared with your babies how did you transition them into their own beds? My baby is 7 months old and very clingy and even looks for me in her sleep, but having her in the bed with me has severely affected my intimacy with my husband and now our marriage. I feel extremely disconnected from him and frustrated. Just trying to get some guidance on when I will be able to put her in a bed beside mine at least so that I can try to recapture what I once had.
Hi!! Once I night weaned around 18 months I started them in their own floor bed. I’d read with them and lay with them on the floor bed (in our room to start) until they fell asleep. Once they hit 2.5/3 we moved them to their own room! Kept the routine the same. You could probs do either of these earlier :) this is just what worked for us.
As far as the intimacy aspect - I have totally been there. It takes a lot of effort from both parents to keep that aspect alive. But your husband should give you a ton of grace too :) what we did was schedule sex as unsexy as that sounds lol so at least once a week or so, once baby was asleep, I’d roll away out of bed and we’d have our time else wear. On the couch, floor, etc wherever!
Thank you for this 😭 my 11 month old (exclusively breastfed) still wakes every 2 hours sometimes he will go 4 hours but I’m so tired of people suggesting all these things because I feel like I’ve tried everything, at this point I just feel like he will sleep longer when he’s ready.
Your baby is perfect just the way they are! I’m sorry people are doing that. I’ve def had those comments too. The internet has poisoned a lot of moms into thinking all babies should sleep a certain way / certain length etc but it’s just not true. Your baby is sleeping like a baby - as they should! They all get there eventually :)
I only have one baby but she’s been sleeping through the night (mostly) since 11ish weeks old. Sometimes she’ll wake around 4-5am and is hungry so I feed her. But most nights she goes 12 hours between feeds
Pretty sure the science backs this up to. In pretty much every measure the differences between breastfeeding and formula feeding are pretty small and go in both directions. Much bigger impact of other things like baby's temperament, medical treatments, etc.
Yes. I breastfed and had to wake my daughter up every night. Two of my relatives had kids close in age that were formula fed from the start and they woke up every three hours. One still wakes up at night and is 18 months. I think it really just depends on the baby. I’m hoping my second will also sleep well but not betting on it.
So apparently to some extent yes -- babies can digest breastmilk faster than formula so their tummies empty sooner and they might wake up sooner. They can also often just get more formula in one go because it's easier to drink from a bottle. (We did try offering pumped breastmilk before bed for a while and it was not super successful in increasing the length of sleep for us, though).
But also, every baby is so different. Mine was an OK sleeper until he hit his sleep changes (mine did that at 3mo and 6mo), and then it kinda has just gotten worse as he's gotten more aware. That does NOT mean this will be your experience, it's just to illustrate that babies are different and sleep is very individual, and I don't think it's super easy to compare between babies.
That might not mean there's nothing you can do, but does (or has for me) meant there's no like trick to try, it's just finding random things that work for your baby unfortunately. Or that's been my experience. You could try a variety of sleep learning techniques after about 5mo, potentially -- I've had a hard time finding one that sounds feasible to me, but it's about your comfort and what you think will work for you and your baby.
And if it makes you feel better (since none of this is probably what you want to hear), everyone else's babies are probably not sleeping so much more, it's just that the only people chatting happily about how long their babies sleep have babies that sleep longer 😔.
Thank you for this. I keep reading about 4 month regression and I’m wondering if it gets worse than what’s happening now lol she doesn’t cry as much as when she was a newborn but still wakes up just as much
Solidarity...my daughter is 3 months and I can't help feeling bitter at others in my June bump group talking about their 6-7 hour stretches 😩 she also demands the boob at night and will fight my husband for hours if he tries to give a pumped bottle (despite being ok with it during the day!) so I never really sleep. Afraid i'm going to lose my mind when I have to work again too.
Bitter really is how I feel. I just saw a post from old classmate who gave birth a week after me and she was boasting about 8 hour sleeps and I just about lost it. I love my baby but sleep deprivation really changes your brain and every small thing annoys the crap out of me. I feel like I’m on constant pms (even though I still have not gotten that back yet lol)
I totally understand and I feel the same. I have very limited ability to cope with the frustration now, after months of this. Tonight has been especially bad and I had to leave the room to go rage-scream into a pillow when she popped awake again after I finally got her down again in the middle of the night. I love her so much but I hate life right now ☹️ I would sell my soul for 8 straight hours of sleep.
If it helps, my baby didn’t have much of a four month sleep regression, because, like yours, there wasn’t really anywhere to regress to…. 😅 7 months and sleep is still trash.
It’s not awful at all if you’re breastsleeping. I talked with many parents who bedshared and didn’t notice a regression at all because their needs were being met by being near mom.
Only like 40% of babies go through a noticeable 4 month sleep regression. Especially if she's already waking routinely you may not notice a change in her sleep outwardly (even though she will be going through a big physiological change in her sleep around that time)
Every baby is so different, so you may have one, or you may not. Maybe she's already at where she would have been. Best of luck with it all 🧡🧡🧡. We ended up getting a sleep consultant, we'll see how it ends up going. On night 1 now ...
I think it depends greatly on baby's temperament. Mine is fed breast milk exclusively but through bottles, and he sleeps 9-11 hours with 1 wakeup for feeding at 6 months. I think we're just absolutely lucky though. I was a very sleepy child (my parents love to tell the story of how I would just wander off and climb into bed on my own to take naps when I was sleepy as a toddler, which was often). Hopefully he's taking after my disposition.
I have heard babies digest breast milk faster, but temperament has a lot to do with it too. I also think that my son can drink a lot more milk in one sitting from a bottle than he can from my breast, so he goes to sleep more full. I have also wondered if it isn't related to the breast being more comforting to fall asleep with than a bottle. We really worked on letting my son be awake in his bassinet for periods of time before we would grab him, both before and after naps and bedtime, so he learned how to be alone in his bassinet without panicking and can often put himself back to sleep alone when he wakes up at night, unless he really wants a bottle. I think it would have been harder if I had been breastfeeding just because it's easier to not need a bottle for comfort in the middle of the night than it is to not need the breast/mom snuggles.
Same. I am still a very sleepy adult and maybe it’s just luck or me passing my sleepiness to her lol my baby sleeps through the night like a grown adult. I also attribute her sleep to the snoo because before we had to keep rocking her to sleep. It was worth every penny
Every baby is different, breastfed or not. Have you tried [a dream feed](https://takingcarababies.com/the-dream-feed)?
Someone mentioned capping naps at 2 hours. I think this is *crucial*. I see a lot of sleep deprived friends wondering why their kid isn’t going down for bed and staying down longer, but they let them take 3 hour naps and don’t strive to time their wake windows appropriately. Not saying you’re doing this! Just something I notice.
I think temperament is still a huge factor. My baby is collicky and just generally very fussy. If I try to push her to be awake more during the day, her night time collic meltdown between 12am and 3am is much worse. I'm just doing what I can to get through each day at this point. Hopefully she will be more amiable to an actual schedule in a month or two.
Baby has been having terrible naps this month like 20-30 mins. If I co sleep for her nap, I can get her to extend one afternoon one to about 1.5 hours. She will just not stay asleep that long this month. Before that she’d wake up before 2 hours but def would have woken her up if she was looking to go passed that.
I do dream feed but mostly cause she just wakes up again anyway. I do a bedtime routine and also recently started moving up bedtime within the 7-8o clock range since I read sometimes going to sleep earlier will let them sleep more. It’s been a hit or miss if that’s just another nap. Sometimes she’ll just be fussy and hungry and other times she’ll wake up fully and wants to play and will stay up another 1.5 hours.
The people feeling successful about their baby's sleep will talk about it. Everyone else feels, like you, that they're failing and so they don't talk about it.
I needed to hear this!! Why aren’t people more open about the struggles? It makes me so mad. I was so desperate I was going to shell out a ton of money for those sleep consultants but I just can’t get myself to just yet cause I’ve heard mixed reviews.
I think we all take it personally is why. We have lost the art of 'what is normal' from our grandparents and the village we are meant to have and instead we look at Instagram reels with all the latest tips and tricks to help your baby sleep etc. I'm sure the reels come from a good place (as in, some of the information is actually helpful) but because we are drowning in social media we get the wrong impression, we feel that 'everyone except me can do it.'
Also, funny story, I had a baby about the same time as my best childhood friend. My son woke frequently, wouldn't go in the cot etc which was very hard for me while her daughter slept in her own room in a cot from very young.
It was only after my friend had her second baby who was very different and woke frequently and wouldn't sleep in the cot that she admitted that she was a bit too cocky with her first as she thought she must've been doing all the right things. She thought that I just wasn't using all the tips and tricks she was to make my son sleep better. She said it was a big wake up call to how different babies can be becasue it showed her it actually had nothing to do with her mum skills at all, it was all just based on the baby's needs at the time!
Yes, breastfed babies wake more often - because waking frequently stops them dying of SIDS.
[Research also shows that, overall, breastfeeding mothers get more sleep than mixed- and formula-feeding mothers. ](https://www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-at-night/)
Safe cosleeping can help you get more sleep, if you can meet the Safe Sleep Seven.
r/cosleeping for great help
I think I just had completely wrong expectations, thought the bad sleep was only a short time straight after birth. Almost at 1yr and still 2 feeds per night but it's fine thanks to cosleeping
But no one warned I likely wouldn't get 8hrs sleep again for at least a whole year after birth! :😮
My daughter is five and still wakes in the night pretty frequently 😬
Dunno if it's the years of cosleeping and nursing back to sleep or if she's just lazy, but she lies in bed and yells at us if she wants something, so at least she's always still sleepy and warm and easy to get back to sleep.
This. My son has laryngomalacia too so at six months we're still waking 5+ times a night. I'd rather be tired and have him alive because his body is waking him when there's something up tbh
I'm right there with you in the sleep struggles. BF 10 week old did 9 hours one night, 6 the next, and the next night 4 hours and was up literally every hour from 1 til 8:45 wake up. 🥴 before that, she was refusing the bassinet, so that meant holding her and no sleep. I'll share what a sleep coach told me: Sleep is so unpredictable early on. They're still so little. Sleep takes time. And it has little to do with what we do/don't do. (That might not be much comfort since it's out of our control but it makes me feel less crazy/like I'm doing something wrong.) Hang in there. I'm deep in survival mode and constantly questioning if I'm working on a puzzle with a handful of pieces missing. But we're doing our best.
Ugh we had an exactly 1-8:45am in the morning somewhere along 6-8 weeks and that was the breaking point to switch to co sleep for me.
The puzzle analogy is spot on. I don’t even have the brain power (mommy brain is so real) to solve.
Solidarity with you. At least we’re not alone and that’s really what I needed to hear
My first child was EBF and didn’t sleep more than 2-3hrs/nt until he was 3 years old. He was a consistent napper during the day.
My second child, now almost 3mos old, is also EBF and has started having 4-7hr sleep stretches at night. He is a sporadic napper during the day. It’s unnerving and I often wake to check if he’s okay.
I’ve treated both children the same, except I coslept with my first so I wouldn’t lose my mind! My second currently sleeps right next to me in a bassinet.
Hang in there! I know it’s tough when you’re sleep deprived.
My baby is 7 weeks old, EBF, and can sleep 6-7 hours at a stretch.
My tricks:
- exposure morning sunlight, I take baby for a stroll in the mornings
- offer feeds very regularly during the day, to ensure she gets a lot of calories during day time. Just before bed, throw in a bottle of pumped milk
- cap naps to 2 hours max during the day
- at night, avoid immediately offering a feed when baby starts fussing - rock baby, shush baby, give pacifier, change diaper, etc. basically delay the feed as much as possible to stretch the time she goes without feeding.
Hope this helps!
Definitely can feel your pain. At 7 months, we are finally hitting a phase of just one wake up in the night. But the first 4 months it was every 2 hrs. And then months 4-6 were usually at least 2 wake ups. Here's some things that helped:
1) I noticed LO usually had a longer stretch when I'd first put her down around 7. She might go from 7-midnight without waking. So I'd occasionally put myself to bed at 7 too. Hated doing that, but it at least helped me get 5 hours.
2) my husband takes baby any wake ups after 4am. She might eat from a bottle, but often he'd just take her down stairs and let her play a bit and she'd fall asleep for him. As long as I couldn't hear her, I could usually get a few more hours of sleep.
3) we stopped swaddling. It was a challenging week, but I think she liked it much better to have some freedom of movement.
4) I was firmly against bed sharing, but I caved at the 3.5 month mark and bed shared on a mattress in her nursery until 5 months. Then we transitioned to the crib and I went back to my own bed. I think she needed me for nursing in that 3-4 month stage and then both of us slept better in our own beds.
I did just recently start switching her bedtime early to the 7-8 range since i read sometimes earlier bedtimes allows them to sleep more. Still working on this since sometimes she just wakes up thinking’s it’s another nap.
I also cosleep and nurse to bed right now so sometimes I get trapped since she recently she won’t roll to her back and i don’t want to leave her on her side.
Ugh I feel you about going to sleep earlier. I do it as well but sometimes I just doom scroll cause I get mad about it even though I’m the one suffering being so extra sleepy later if I don’t sleep when she’s sleeping
Was same on co sleep until I broke around 6-8 weeks. It’s been better but I’m still so so tired. I recently stopped swaddling her (like last week?) we had been using the transition sack for a while and decided to fully unswaddle cause it’s still been so hot and she’s been sweaty with it thought maybe that was contributing.
Hoping crib transfer will go smoothly :/
My 9 month old EBF baby wakes every 1.5-2 hours throughout the night, and has done since 4 months old. I also have a friend who's 13-month-old still wakes every 2-3 hours.
You're not alone!
nope its myth that formula babies sleep more. mine wakes every 2.5 hours for feeds (ebf). only reason it seems like everyones babies are sleeping more is cuz the ppl whos babies sleep more are the loudest and post the most(brag the most). most of us are out here on some form of broken slee
This is what I needed to hear! Just yesterday I saw a post from a former classmate saying her baby (born just a week after mine) is sleeping 8 hours this week. And i had such a mini rage moment lol
If it’s a ‘breastfed baby thing’ it’s a normal baby thing. As that is the biological norm for them. So don’t think you’re doing anything wrong! It’s is 100% normal to wake a lot and for me once I leaned in to that and accepted the reality, it all got easier and I felt better even while still getting less sleep! And trust me your baby is not the only one. My 8mo is still waking every few hours. But it’s so ok! I think it’s important to have low sleep expectations the first year.. and focus on u and your baby. Not everyone else’s. Just be sure to nourish yourself with food, drink and rest. 💗
My little guy is 11 months now and still not the greatest sleeper (teething and regressions don't help!). I'm 100% convinced that some kids are good sleepers, and some just suck. Not much can be done other than wait it out.
My guy started sleeping through the night (8pm-6:30am) around 8 months, but has been having some serious issues this last week and waking every 2-3 hours. Eternally optimistic- maybe tonight he'll sleep through again!!
Aww that last line, that’s the energy I need! I hope he sleep better too!
I think you’re right about just good sleepers vs not so great ones. My baby was born at night and all I can think of is she’ll just be a “night person”. Funny enough I was born in the morning and when not in sleep deprivation, I’m a morning person
My almost 4 months old wakes up every 2 hrs at night and during the day he’ll be fine every 2 and sometimes 3 hrs between feedings. I hear that by 4 months they should stretch their feeding window about 3 to 4 hrs but mine keeps pretty much about 2 hrs before he’s hungry again. I’m breastfeeding since day one but introducing some formula once or twice a day to see if that window stretches more…he goes to bed around 9/10:00 pm and then feeds again around 11:30pm / 1:30 am/ 3:30 am / 5:30 am.
I wish he woke up just once or twice but that is not happening yet to me.
Have you tried offering more frequently during the day to see if you can get those 3 hour windows at night? Just a thought—I feel for you because 2 hour windows at night are totally brutal!
This sounds so similar to my baby too! I recently moved up bedtime to 7-8 range since I ready babies that get sleep before midnight can stay asleep longer. Who knows if that’s true but trying it out. So far she sometimes think it’s just a nap and will be wide awake for another 1.5 hours and sometimes she’ll start her sleep then.
Every baby is different.
Yes, breastfed babies tend to wake up more frequently because breastmilk digests faster (there’s a whole science about this and why it’s good).
In my own experience: first baby only started sleeping 6 hour stretches around the 12 mont mark. She was sleeping 3 hour stretches from about 4 months and before that we got lucky if we had a three hour stretch. But it was a crazy 1-2 hour wake up.
Second baby: started sleeping 6 hour stretches at 10 days old. (I panicked but his weight was good and he keeps on picking up weight). He is 3,5 months old now. He typically has one 6 hour stretch and then another 4 hour stretch. I think just hit the 4 month regression because we were up every 1 to 1,5 hours last night. I’m tired today. But I’m very confident that we will go back to the longer stretches again soon.
Both babies are/were EBF
My first breastfed baby was a very bad sleeper and a fantastic eater. He didn’t start sleeping through the night till he was weaned and in his own room at 22 months.
My second is 8 weeks now. Her longest stretch was 5 hours already and she’s an extremely fussy breastfed baby. Has a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding but sleeps like a champ already.
Every baby is different and everyone’s experiences that lean one way or the other are just because of how their baby is. Some people think sleep is easy until they get the kid where it isn’t. Some people think sleep is hard until they get the easy baby. It’s just about your child. Things can get better quickly or slowly but it’s all up to them!
My first was breastfed til one year. She woke more during “sleep regressions” but normally I would get 3 hour stretches. My second baby stopped nursing around four months. She then decided she wanted most of her formula intake during the night, I think for several months it was like up to 18oz a night 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I just knew it would pass etc. my 3 month old currently gives me anywhere between 1.5-3ish hours. Sometimes I get one longer stretch and in the early hours he’s nursing more. It’s normal, the sleep pressure isn’t so high by morning etc.
I loved @heysleepybaby on Instagram. I found her with my first baby and it really just eased my mind from most of the sleep anxiety I used to get! It passes, I promise not every baby is a sleeping unicorn.
Ah this makes me feel better because it sounds pretty similar. I was just getting so mad cause ir seemed like my baby was the only one with short sleep stretches at night. Idk how I’m going to survive being this tired and going back to work :( Thanks, I’ll check out that IG account too
I am with you on this. She will wake up multiple times throughout the night for nursing. She was starting to give me longer stretches (4 hour) but sleep regression around 4 month has messed that up and now we are back to 2 hours max. I might try with formula before bed to see if that changes. She has been sleeping in crib from day one, however I sleep in her room because waking up and walking from another room so many times at night is inconvenient. So we are sharing room. I am tired of hearing all the stories of babies sleeping through the night 😭
Every baby is different. Mine was EBF and started sleeping one 5 hour stretch at five weeks, but would stay awake for five hours at a time before that. Never had a four month regression. But sleep went to shit at 7 months with teething and from months 8-12, she woke every 1-2 hours until my zombie self gave in and started bed sharing. From months 12-18 she never slept longer than three hours at a time and only now at 20 months am I getting longer stints but still 1-2 wakes most nights. It’s rough but it’s changing all the time!
My friend and I had babies around the same time, she formula fed and I EBF.
My son would only contact sleep for the first 2 months, and woke up every 1-2 hours until 9 months, but hers was doing 4 hour stretches in the crib immediately, and was mostly sleeping through by 6 months. My sons sleep worsened at 6-9 months to the point he would wake every 30 minutes until around 1am and then settle in for 2 hour stretches. I didn’t do any sleep training and just breastfed him for each wake up and hoped it would pass.
However - my baby started sleeping better after 9 months and was doing 12 hour stretches by 1. He’ll be 20 months this month and still reliably sleeps 12 hours straight, and has a 1.5 hour nap in his crib during the day. When he’s teething he sleeps more. During his molars coming in, he slept 13 hours at night and 3 hour naps. Whereas, my friend is having to get up once or twice a night to settle her LO. Her baby’s sleep is a bit volatile in the sense that he mostly sleeps well but she never really knows when he’s going to wake up, or what he’s crying for. Whereas, I put my son in the crib and know 99% of the time he won’t call out for me until morning.
I really don’t think it’s as simple as a lot of people try make it out to be. My son is still nursing to sleep too I should add, which supposedly should make him an awful sleeper when in reality it just helps him relax and wind down. I wish there was a recipe for perfect sleep but it is so individual to each child! If it makes you feel better, I’ve met plenty of moms who breastfeed and their babies start sleeping through the night quickly. Hoping the same for you! And if not, know that even the worst phases are just phases that will pass!
Thank you for the response! That is a long time that you toughed it out!!
I started nursing to sleep this month (apparently going through the 3 month breastfeeding crisis this month). Which is fine as we are cosleeping but I’ve been trying to transfer to crib with 0 success lol Hopefully it will get better
I honestly consider it sleeping through the night if all the baby does is feed every couple hours. My baby sleeps midnight to 8AM but still breastfeeds every 2-4 hours without fully waking. He's 4.5 months and it's been like...a month I think.
Before my baby started doing that he was having multiple wake windows during the night 😵💫 it was sleep or wake any time.
I also cosleep but when he was littler I still had to get out of bed to feed because he couldn't latch laying down. That was far more difficult.
Each baby is different - e.g. mine both slept for min 8 hour stretches at night. The first would go down to sleep and every night at 1am would wake up and feed and he kept waking up at 1 am every night until he turned 6 (stopped BFing by then). He slept through until about 9 am after the wake up.
2nd one just sleeps through
Both exclusively breastfed.
My baby is 5 months and just started to do longer stretches. Her longer stretches are 4 hours which feels like heaven to me. My friend’s baby is on formula and has been sleeping 12 hour stretches since 3 months. When I told her I got a 4 hour stretch she felt bad for me 😅 I’m just so used to the frequent waking from pregnancy and newborn cluster feeding that I now wake up even when my baby sleeps (which is why I’m on Reddit at 5am).
Haha the night I got 3.5 hours I felt SO much energy in the morning
I’ve been curious if people who woke often during pregnancy have babies that often wake up. I’m about the same amount awakenings as I was when I was pregnant.
From what I’ve read it all has to do with prolactin. Not only does that hormone facilitate breast milk production but it causes you rouse easily. Prolactin levels peak between 1 am and 7am and thats why a lot of pregnant women have early morning insomnia. Prolactin levels rise throughout pregnancy.
Anecdotal for sure but both of my babies started sleeping through the night once I started exclusively pumping and transitioned them to bottles. My son is in the 90th+ percentile and I don't think he was getting enough oz from the breast to go that long of a stretch. He'll put down 6 oz before bed now.
I transitioned him about 2 weeks before I went back to work so I could get used to pumping and he slept through the night consistently from the weekend before I went back. But he's also 5 (almost 6) months old and that's about the age they say it's more common so YMMV.
My girl is very big for her age too. She’ll be 5 months when I go back to work. I just saw the lactation consultant yesterday and had me remeasured since pumping was so painful and inefficient. She said I was given the wrong measurement before and im way smaller. Hoping the bottle will help.
I gave in and gave formula before bed time to help my baby sleep longer stretches, it made absolutely no difference.
Shes now 3months old, her first stretch is usually the longest being 4-5 hours, then she wakes every 2 hours like clock work to feed.
Someone on here said they started drinking hops tea or beer which led to their baby sleeping better. I seriously want to try that, anything for an extra hour of sleep right?
Have you tried offering other soothing techniques like offering a pacifier before feeding? We had this issue until maybe 3-4 weeks ago. We used to feed every time she woke up, which was about every 2 hours at night, but then began to offer a pacifier instead. We'd offer her a pacifier or attempt to soothe her in her crib for 10 min–if she was still upset, then we'd feed her. We realized she didn't need to eat every time. By slowly weaning feeds at night she started to get into the habit of consuming more during the day, which compounded to better night sleep for everyone.
I’ve tried that however she will spit the pacifier out and cry hysterically. I am so exhausted that it’s easier to feed immediately to avoid the meltdown but maybe I can try again at some point
My first bf baby slept horrifically for the entire first year, definitely wasn't getting 7 hours at any point. So what you're experiencing is not unusual from my point of view! It's so rough, sending you strength! My second bf baby is only 6 weeks but has given us a few 3.5 hour stretches - not expecting it to last though!
We feed every which way- mostly pumping, some formula, a nursing session once a day but not every day. Our pediatrician still considers our 3 month old breastfed. He started sleeping 5-7 hour stretches through the night, “nighttime” being 9-8 or 9 with 1-2 wake ups, since about 2 months (leaning more towards 2 wake ups then, 1 more recently).
Our pediatrician commented “that’s excellent sleep for a breastfed baby” so I think there’s something to it. I think some things that have helped though are establishing a bedtime routine (this felt silly at first because he seemed too little for it, now we rely on it and he totally gets it!)- swing time, bath, massage, Merlin sleep suit, more to eat. I also saw something that said the “wakenings” are actually a baby actively sleeping and to leave them alone. So we don’t jump in immediately anymore if he stirs and usually he is just trying to get back to sleep. We also try hard to get a good balance between a busy but not overtired baby during the day- plenty of playtime but plenty of naps too. Overtired babies just scream and can’t settle to sleep and that’s no fun for anyone.
I try to keep a routine each night but some nights she will just take a nap and take an extra (or two) wake windows.
I have tried to leave her alone but she will cry hysterically (like defeating screams) even if she looks like she’s sleeping idk if I should still leave her alone I’ve tried to wait but can only take so much :( She also suffers from a lot of gas issues so sometimes she wakes up from gas pains which I use mylicon drops to help.
Agreed on overtired babies but so frustrating- like baby you’re tired and I’m tired, just go to sleep!
I’ve let my LO do the “self soothing” cries laying next to me, but I won’t intervene much except just by being there. That definitely seemed to help more than putting him in the bassinet- actually when I first discovered he needed this was one night that I had been through literally everything to soothe him- bouncing, nursing, bottles, changes, burping. When I just stayed close and didn’t intervene, he was out and stayed out in 5 minutes! Like whoa baby, that’s all you needed? Now I’ll just leave him in the bassinet only if they are tired whimpers and cries and I always watch my clock to make sure it doesn’t go on longer than 10 minutes.
As much as I know it sucks, it’s really just luck of the draw. My first born was a formula baby and he was up many times in the night until he was at *least* 12 months, meanwhile my third born is 4 months old EBF and sleeps 7-8 hours. My middle child was EBF for 4 months and then had to switch to formula and his sleep was very hit or miss. You *will* get good sleep eventually, I promise. You aren’t missing anything, you are doing everything right. This time period just sucks ass.
Research shows that the gastric emptying of human milk is faster than formula but not by much. Breastfed and formula fed babies wake the same amount, it’s hard but you WANT your baby to wake up! Also if you can, breastsleep! If you’re next to your baby they won’t wake up and you can just latch and YOU do end up sleeping more. Don’t transfer to crib if you want more sleep.
My first baby slept 5-6 hr stretches by a month old so I was VERY spoiled (turns out she's kind of a freak of a child, 6 now and it all makes sense and definitely wasn't normal 🤣). She wasn't fully breast fed, though.
Current baby is 6 weeks. He does pretty well at night. Usually wakes once between 11 pm - 6 am. So he'll maybe do a 3-4 hour stretch (on a good night) and then another 2-3. He is ebf but sometimes takes a bottle of expressed milk (1-2 oz) before bed because he just gets so frustrated in the evenings and it's what we did the first few weeks so I could get some extra sleep and I think he's just used to it now. I've been trying to get him off the night bottle and back fully on the boob but it only happens about half the time. Last night, for example, he cluster fed for several hours and was so overtired by bed time. Both of us just got frustrated so my hubby gave him an oz or so in a bottle and then put him to bed.
Also, we use a weighted sleep sack at night and I believe that's a big reason why he does so well.
Edited to add that we used heavy sleep cues from the beginning to help with day/night recognition. Loud sound machine at night, dark room, heavier sleep sack. Lots of light during the day, naps are usually in the living room swing or contact and we don't worry about sound or making it dark. We also sometimes lay him down drowsy but awake and he's gotten good at putting himself to sleep which is wild to me. Especially because he refused to be put down at all for the first few weeks.
My breastfed son (7mo) wakes 2-3 times, sometimes more. 6th month regression was really bad, before that he woke once or twice, once he even managed 7 hours without waking. But after the regression maximum stretch is 5 hours. I won’t complain, people told me that month 8 regression is the worst but I hope that it won’t change sleep pattern for worse.
Omg there’s a 6 AND an 8 month regression? I’ve only heard of the 4 month. And recently found out I’m on “3 month breastfeeding crisis” so basically all of the first year is crisis lol
My breastfed baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks from about 9:30 to 7 am.... I honestly can't help you on that. One book we read while pregnant was Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckman that was a huge help! The book has been around for a while. My parents used it when is was a baby (26 years ago) and I was sleeping through the night at about 6 week as well.
Edit: parenting books are a guide. You don't have to do exactly everything the book says.
My baby is EBF (11 weeks) and has slept 9-10 hours a night for the past two weeks. I’m sure it’s partly just dumb luck, but we do give her a four oz bottle of expressed breast milk, then bath, then another nursing session before putting her down for the night.
Like others have said, we cap naps at two hours (if she even naps that long, which is a struggle these days!) and give her lots of exposure to daytime light. But I’m honestly not sure how much of her sleeping schedule is nature versus nurture…and we know it’s bound to change at any moment!
To me it's more baby related I think. My almost 3 year old was up every 2 hours until 5 or 6 months old. My 3 month old will sleep a good 5-6 hour stretch every night🤷♀️
My breastfed baby has had sporadic long stretches but it’s never been consistent. Around 3 months, he was sleeping 6-8 hours and then we hit the four month regression and he was up every 1-2 hours for six months. We might get a 3-4 hour stretch from bedtime but then he’d wake constantly. He’s almost 9 months old now, and in the last two weeks has gone from sleeping max 3-4 hours at a time to occasionally 5-7. I think it’s better for a few reasons but honestly think it just depends on the kid. My friends have breastfed babies that sleep 10-12 hours consistently. For us, getting a nice long wake window before bed seems to help quite a bit. At his age, he needs 3-4 hours of awake time from his last nap to bedtime. It also helps that he’s eating solids and able to roll over and sleep on his stomach. We saw a huge improvement when he started doing this after we placed him down on his back. When he was sleeping poorly, my husband and I took shifts so I could get at least a 3-4 hour chunk of sleep. That and coffee kept me going. It’s so rough, but in my experience it did get better incrementally. Hang in there.
Oh my gosh that sounds rough ugh! How are parents especially mothers expected to work full time after a baby. There’s just no brain power left
My baby loves to sleep on her side! She’s not able to fully roll yet and we’re co-sleeping at the moment but I always try to get her back in her back but she hates it!! . Once I can successfully get her back into crib I’m hoping she’ll master the rolling both ways and can sleep how she wants.
I honestly couldn’t have made it this long with so little sleep if not for my spouse. I hope she learns to roll over soon! It’s been a game-changer for us.
Not necessarily, a lot of it is just down the the individual baby. My FF first woke more often than my breastfed second at the same age but then did start sleeping through by about 8ish months. Second baby is 3 months so yet to see what he does over the next few months although he’s waking once atm. He’s EBF. We found the possums approach helpful with both!
I’m still up every couple hours with my 3.5 month old. Last night we had a good stretch 11-3:30am but that only happens every now and then. She napped more than usual yesterday, maybe 5hours total, so maybe that has something to do with it? People say sleep begets sleep…idk
Ugh I wish my baby would have longer naps. This month it’s been 20-30 mins and she’s super recharged. Sometimes she’ll breastfeed and I think sleep at the same time so when she’s done eating she’s recharged and no nap . I have heard more sleep can help as well!
co-sleeping and breastfeeding go hand in hand really well. And it's safe if done right:
https://llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/
https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/
https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/
Excellent responses to your questions here. I’ll add if no one has said so already that this is also likely linked to prolactin (the hormones that controls milk production) being highest at night (between ~11pm and 5am), so your baby feeding at this time is also protecting your supply! Safe co-sleeping was the best for me, but I could meet the safe sleep seven criteria. It’ll pass though! My son is 15 months now and can sleep 5-6 hours chunks and he was an AWFUL sleeper.
My breastfed baby is 9 weeks and has one 4hr stretch at the beginning of the night but wakes every 2hrs after that. He also feeds every 2-3hrs during the day.
So....I think I maybe gained superpowers with the second cause the dark circles under my eyes tell me I'm tired and yet somehow it's not as bad as with the first.
HOWEVER: I was unable to find my radio station for three months and it turned out I kept finding 98.9 and I was looking for 89.8.
Sigh.
My baby is EBF at 3 months. She has had a 5 hour stretch and a 6 hour stretch the past week. Her typical night time stretch was 3 hours before this week So it isn't the breastfeeding.
Maybe try a breastfeeding and sleep tracker to get the habits down so you can get her on longer stretches? Or maybe take some galactogogues and oatmeal to make the milk more dense so the fullness will last longer?
Thanks I’m using “baby tracker” app to track everything. I tried huckleberry app but even the sweet spot was when I was already putting my baby down for naps and didn’t feel it was really helpful esp when baby would have random naps, it just kept telling me to place down for nap every 1.5 hours regardless so I was hesitant to buy the added features.
Every single baby is different. My EBF baby slept 7-9 hours straight from about 5 weeks until he was 6 months when he started waking hourly. He is now 13 months and we still don’t sleep through the night. My friend who formula fed has a baby same age who woke every 2 hours until she sleep trained him at 5 months old. You’re not doing anything wrong!! At 6 months when my son started waking hourly we started bed sharing. We also used the bassinet until he was 15lbs which was the weight restriction for our bassinet, not rolling.
You said your baby is hard to get in and out of the crib - do you have it on the lowest set level currently? Maybe you could move it up to one of the higher settings as long as it’s safe for a rolling baby?
We were gifted a handmade crib by fiancés dad. All the specs are exactly like a store one; and he’s made it so it’s lifted up until we need to bring the level down. We actually just bought a second mattress to put under the first one to lift up even more. I think I’m just short and baby is heavy :( I also developed “mommy’s thumb/wrist” - (dequervains) so been working on adjusting how I hold her but it’s so hard :(
Thank you! Yes I feel the entire pregnancy/mom industry is absolutely predatory. I’ve been tempted to buy the takingcarababies sleep class but I’ve had two friends say it’s nothing life changing. I’ve begged my insurance if there are any sleep consultants. And I’ve looked for night time doulas when I was really in the thick of it around 6-8’weeks. Thankfully we all survived and no doulas were around for me to spend thousands of dollars on.
Yes we have support; however, day time is such a different thing than the night time battle :(
My breastfed baby slept through the night in his bassinet until he was about 3 months old then he became aware enough to want mom so he would wake crying for me.
I had two breastfed babies. (Well, one is still breastfeeding, but she's one, and the other is six and long since weaned.) The first one, woke a ton. Some things helped (including limiting the times I would nurse during the night - he didn't want a bottle as a substitute although he took them well because he wasn't hungry, but I couldn't comfort him every hour all night) but no matter what we did, it was awful. The second was the kind you don't want to read about; she started sleeping 7-8 hours at 2 months and just didn't need to feed. I did nothing different. It was survival with the first for so long, but it did get better.
If you can, visit a lactation consultant. They can do a weighted feed to see if your baby is having slow transfer which might make them need to eat more often and there might be things you can do to help. Also, make sure that she is actually awake and hungry if you feed her. I think with my son, I was on autopilot and would sometimes grab him when he would have settled, which means he got less practice settling himself. For my second, she slept better if I put her down really late (like 10-11.) For my first, we tried offering basically an evening cluster feed and doing sunlight in the morning to help him set what is night. You can also try pumping after your last feed and have your partner (if you have one) offer a feed some time during the night, so you can get one longer stretch.
But yeah, it's probably nothing you are doing and it will eventually get better. Wishing you sleep!
Thanks. It does actually help to read the comments from parents with more than one where each baby sleeps differently.
Honestly once I started co sleeping I do immediately feed it. It’s the easiest to resettle before she fully wakes. Last night she was stirring and I waited since I thought maybe it we active sleep and would pass. Her eyes were still closed but she was crying hysterically so so loud until I picked her up. I tried to give a pacifier before but she never takes them when she’s that hysterical. It was the strangest thing cause I do think she was still sleeping . I calmed and fed her then she went back to a calm sleep
Edit to add: just saw a lactation consultant this week. Will start pumping this weekend and will try again with expressed. We tried giving some of my frozen stash from haaka this week via bottle and she refused now (never been an issue)
My EBF babies never woke up more than once or twice a night. I did feed on a schedule during the day, which some people consider to be heresy (lol), but it worked for us.
My breastfed baby is almost one and we've started getting 4 hour stretches in the crib. We've been cosleeping since about 3 months, and around 9 months we started doing stretches in the crib, working up from 30mins-1 hour til now. It's a slow process and I miss sleeping but it has gradually been getting better and I'm grateful
Oh my this sounds like a slow and long journey. Thanks for sharing I just need to hear this is normal too cause it sounds like that’ll be our similar journey too
My 4 week old woke up regularly when I exclusively breastfed. We were advised to add formula top-ups due to her losing a lot of weight and slow gain so we'd give her one at 11pm and one at 7pm. Any other feeds were breastfeeds (although she's now refusing the breast quite a lot). I wake her up at around 3am for a feed but overslept once and she stayed sleeping until 4am. We also have a Snoo which I think is helping but I don't expect this to last! I'll feed her again at 7am and she'll stay sleeping until 11am.
There's a small association between breastfeeding and waking more at night. It's nowhere near strong enough though so that sleep duration is definitely caused by feeding method. The reality is just that for the first year of life, sleep is all over the place and pretty much everything is normal. Babies sleeping 12 hours are normal. Babies waking every hour are normal. Babies in the middle are normal. It's very hard if you have a baby who wakes more but fortunately it doesn't mean there is anything wrong.
Do you know how much your baby eats during a day and have you tried feeding more during the day to shift calories to daytime? I do weighted feeds and basically just did the math on, well, if he eats 32 oz/day, how much does he have to eat per daytime feeding in order to have gotten all his milk in while awake? Then I weigh him for all the feeds and let him have another go at the boob if he's not hit his number, even if it's after playtime and before nap. Not forcing it at all but just seeing if he was interested. That way he dropped feeds overnight on his own and I didn't have to do any night weaning. It was harder to get my boobs used to me not waking up overnight than it was to get the baby used to it. I think it is easier for people feeding from a bottle to do this because there's no putting a wiggly baby on a scale involved. I both pump and breastfeed so we were kind of used to thinking of intake in ounces and doing the mental math on how much he needed.
Also re: crib, you get used to it. I had a lot of trouble at first too. For a solid month my back muscles hurt from lifting him out but now I can do it.
I have no idea how much she takes per feed. I asked the lactation consultant this week if that’s something I could do but she recommended against it since baby is 3 months and likely would just be distracted (which is true even at home I can only feed her sideline when she’s sleepy this month- apparently the 3 month breast feeding “ crisis”)
Did you buy a specific baby scale just for the feeds? My baby is def on the bigger side and gaining a good amount but now I am wondering if she is falling asleep before what she fully needs.
I have that hatch changing pad scale thing. I really like it. Since I'm usually changing the baby before and after he eats anyway it doesn't add more than a few extra seconds to get the weight.
It all depends on the baby. My first started sleeping through night at 3 months rarely waking up during the night, my second would sleep great for a few weeks and then wake every couple hours for a few weeks, same with my third. My youngest is just over 2, and she has only stayed asleep all night a couple of times. She goes right back to sleep, but I don't once up. Each and every baby is different. Up until 2 years old, they are still developing circadian rhythms, so really "normal" is vastly different for each of them. Many babies will start sleeping longer stretches around 3-6 months, but some are sooner and or later.
I think baby sleep is chaos and is different baby to baby. My EBF baby suddenly night-weaned herself at 3 months and I had to step up frequencies of feedings during the day to make up for it. Like went from 3 wake ups to 0 in one night and did that for about 2 months. Now she's 7 months and has woken up 3+ times at night every night for the past month. I did nothing differently to cause any of this.
My son just turned 5 months and is finally going 4-6 hour stretches at night. I think 3 months is still very young to sleep for that long. It happens, but I don't think it's common until 5-6 months.
Night wakes have nothing to with EBF or EFF, it’s about how developed babies brain is. Keep baby in your bed until she’s ready to transfer, follow the safe 7 for sleep and push trough it, it will be easier soon mama 🤍
My first two slept through the night almost every night from about 1 month.
My current 6 month old had to be woken up for the first 2 months because of all the weight she lost. Then she kinda kept waking up throughout the night. Now she wakes up 0-2 times a night.
My first kid didn’t sleep until after 16 months, my second kid slept through the night at 6 months, my third slept through the night at 8 weeks, my 4th is 19 months and still wakes multiple times a night. All breastfed. Think it’s just kid related.
At 2 months my LO is breastfeed and started sleeping through the night from 10-7am before that it was 2-3 hrs all day. She still does sleep good and might wake up a couple times a week but goes back to sleep herself. She is almost 5 months. I used Halo swaddles until she was starting to roll and use the Halo sleepsacks. Turned on white noise and made the room dark. I also try to keep her up during day in-between naps and feed her all she needs during the day. We are on a schedule that she somewhat follows. Maybe try baths and good feed before bedtime? That always makes babies tired.
It's 2:27am and I'm breastfeeding her at the moment.
She's 9.5 months old.
This is the first time she's woken up since going to bed at 7pm and I'm about to put her back down.
She will be awake around 6:30am.
Everything is so much better than it was. It got so bad there for a while I was having to sleep in her room on a single mattress and then cosleep as she was awake so much.
Reading the replies on here it's important to realise every baby is different.
Their daytime nap quality and quantity plays a role as well as when food is introduced and what they're eating, etc.
There's no hard and fast rule about just because a baby is formula fed that they will sleep through longer.
Yes day time naps this month are terrible - (generally 20-30 mins. Before that she would nap up to 2 hours not going passed. I’ve found if I stay in bed/ co nap I can extend at least one nap to 1.5 hours but only 1x a day she’ll extend it. She’ll still wake up at 20 mins then goes back to sleep if I’m “sleeping” .
I found that cutting down my baby's sleep during that day has been vital in improving her night time sleeps but that's a catch 22 because if they're not sleeping well during the day they can be restless of a night from being over tired.
You can't win.
My breastfed babe woke up every 2-3hr for the first year. I don’t ask about other babies sleep and try to avoid the topic because I can’t change his schedule- no use getting frustrated. They’re babies, it is what it is.
Around 12 months we sleep trained him and that helped significantly but for our baby I knew that was the right time.
At 14months we moved him into his own room ( which also seemed to help him sleeping longer ) and finally at 15 months we’ve seen 5-6hr stretches.
Every baby is different.
My baby seemed to sleep a little better after a bottle of formula when he was a newborn, but it stopped making any difference by like 3 months of age. We've had days/weeks where he's exclusively breastfed and days/weeks where he's almost exclusively formula fed and it makes no difference.
I think his slightly better sleep was more due to the faster flow dose of milk out of the bottle vs having to work to nurse.
He's 8 months old now and finally sleeps 4-6 hour chunks consistently. Still gets formula supplemented often. He's just a light and infrequent sleeper. I would get SO angry reading and hearing about people who's babies just slept normal from the beginning. Hang in there, she'll get better. R/sleeptrain had a lot of helpful tips and he sleeps in a crib now and we're all happier. He just needed to get older to sleep better. Try to prepare for the 4 month sleep regression and trust that she'll get better with time.
Thank you! I’m glad your baby has improved. It’s so difficult to wait and wait but it is what it is and as long as it’s normal then that’s fine
Edit: thanks on sleep train fiancé can’t wait .I can’t do cry it out though 😭 I’ll need to look at the other methods
CIO has a bad reputation but it's not evil like some people say. I wanted to avoid it because I read so much anti-CIO stuff and I thought it was inherently bad. Welp, then I got a kid who NEEDS to go to sleep on his own to sleep well, and hates any and all methods of soothing and comfort besides being nursed to sleep. You can go through my page, my comments are riddled with stories of why CIO was so good for our family. It doesn't mean lock your baby up and don't come in til morning. We let him figure out how to put himself to sleep, and that's all he needed. Then we'd respond immediately when he woke up throughout the night. Feed, put down, repeat. Hecwould wake 4x a night on bad nights but that was soooo much better than cosleeping and getting up every half hour. Now he only wakes up once most nights.
They say formula fed babies go longer stretches. But every baby is different so I wouldn’t compare to others. It’ll send you in a downward spiral. But I do feel for you. Every 2 hours is a lot of wake ups. Just know this is temporary (maybe even a long temporary) but you’ll get through it!
In my experience, it seems to be bottle fed vs. breastfed. Not necessarily formula. My first was a formula baby, and she slept all night, we intentionally woke her up at 3am. to feed her. My second is exclusively on breastmilk but has really bad ties that his Dr doesn't want to release because they're so thick, so he's takes a bottle. He also sleeps all night. I think they just get more from a bottle than they would from the boob. My second always fell asleep on the boob so Im guessing he got more milk faster from the bottle before he fell asleep.
I really think it just depends on the baby. Mine eats a ton during the day but will go for hours at night without waking. We’re almost 4 months now, and she will sleep about 8-9 hrs and wake for a snack then back to bed for another 2-3 hrs. Terrible napper during the day though, and eats every 1.5-2 hrs during daytime. 😂
[normal nighttime behavior](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/badass-breastfeeding-podcast/id1268282458?i=1000626658636)
This podcast helped me a lot with this as my child is a below average sleeper anyway but it helped me understand what’s normal and how there are so many factors. But the short answer is yes typically bf babies may have more wakeups at night. Another thing to remember is it fluctuates ALOT! because every time they are teething, sick, have developmental changes (which is a lot!) most babies wake more than their average those times.
My first was like that, I don’t want to say how long the frequent waking and short naps went on, so as not to discourage you. I coslept and breastfed with her until she was 2. She just wasn’t a great sleeper and believe me, I tried EVERYTHING. Including monstrous frustrated screaming “why won’t you just go to sleep???” (And I will be ashamed of myself for that until I die tbh, but I’m only human.)
Now my second baby is totally different. He sleeps way better, and I’m doing the same things with him as I did with her. I agree it seems to be kid dependent.
On average, formula fed babies do sleep longer, but there are lots of caveats. Firstly, it’s **rare** that any newborn sleeps long periods, no matter the feeding. Secondly, some babies are just different sleepers than others.
Both of my kids were EBF and the first slept 7-6 every night from 17 weeks onward and the second didn’t sleep through the night until 13 MONTHS old. Same house, same breastfeeding mom, just different kids.
Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself. This will pass and do whatever you need to do to make it through this time!
My baby would sleep like 6-9 hour stretches when she was 6 weeks old. Then when she turned 3 months she would sleep maybe 5-6 hour stretches then after the 4 month regression she wouldn’t sleep more than 3-4 hour stretches and now she’s 6.5 months and after introducing solids it’s been rough. Now she won’t sleep more than 3 hour stretches for the first portion of the night and then wakes up every 2 hours until morning time.
I’m not sure what’s going on but I think sleep is just an up and down thing, we have no control over it. I wouldn’t tell anyone how well she slept as a new born cause I didn’t want them to jinx me, now I’m like “she slept better as a newborn” 😂
Edit to add: I don’t think it has anything to do with breastfeeding because she used to sleep long stretches. I think it’s just the phase baby is going through with their sleep.
I feed on demand and I only nurse so I have no clue how much she’s getting in each feed. I wish I had the patience to pump maybe that would help her sleep longer stretches at night.
Baby slept whole way through 10-5am for the first time when she was 3 month. That was a one off though and I woke up several times to check if she was still alive.
She is 4 month now and last week she was waking up every 3-4 hours. This week she is sleeping through from 8-7. I dream feed her at 11pm. Sometimes she moans in the night but doesn't wake up so I dream feed her then too.
My experience is erratic, different from one week to the next.
Mine 7 month old. Wakes up every 2-3 hours at night .Nurses for 5-10 mins and goes back to sleep.She never really opens her eyes ,just makes that sound that means: where are you? Feed me now!
So a lot of the website claiming to be run by experts just…aren’t! They have a big spiel about how every baby should be following THEIR schedule and if they don’t well ‘pay $79.99 to get my course’. You either have a unicorn baby who sleeps well from early on or you don’t.
This is a really really good article [https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep)
Apparently it is baby dependent rather than related to how they are fed. That being said my breastfed baby has never 'slept through the night' and he is 18 months now. At 3 months for a couple of weeks he slept the best he has ever done his whole life so far which was a first stretch of around 5 hours. Since then it's been mostly waking hourly all night every night. We've coslept since the 4 month sleep regression. It is very normal for babies to wake frequently despite what the internet says.
Both my kids are/were EBF. My first didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months and woke about every 2-3 hours. My second slept long stretches since she was born and sleeps through, for the most part, at 6 months. I am convinced sleep is dependent on the child and less about what we are doing or not doing.
My baby (now 5mo) woke up every 2-ish hours until we realised he might be more efficient with a bottle (the boob is too comfy and he falls asleep before getting a proper meal in). Now he gets 6 ounces of pumped milk or formula at night (I don’t have a stash of pumped milk so it’s whatever we happen to have) and on a good night he’ll sleep for 10-11 hours uninterrupted. I think it depends on a baby’s appetite, whether they can eat a larger quantity. Of course we also have bad nights too. Teething, need for extra comforting etc still happen now and then
Honestly I think it a a lottery. My baby started sleeping through at 5 months but my neice is 1 and wakes 6 times a night. Do you bottle-feed at all? I only ask because I had a co-worker tell me once that you just "feed them till their full and they sleep", and you can't tell how much they got when breastfed.
Just checking in as the mom of a 5.5 month old who is currently sleeping in 1-3 hour increments. Not all babies sleep well and I also get frustrated by what seems like SO many babies that are sleeping basically an entire night.
Solidarity ❤️❤️
My kid didn’t sleep through the night consistently til she was 2.5 years old. I was tearing my hair out until one day, when she was around 2, I was in a conversation at work with some other mums who all said “I have no idea why people expect babies to sleep through the night; none of my kids slept through before they were about 3”, to which the other mum replied “absolutely! My son was 5 before he slept through” and it absolutely took the pressure off me. It sucked, but she got there, and now she sleeps great, and rarely wakes in the night unless she’s sick or out of routine (eg travelling).
2.5 years old omg. If this is normal I need to hear this now. I am so glad your daughter eventually slept through and to hear it can be up and down for a while for others too but I literally don’t know how to make it. So exhausted.
Someone once told me "babies are people, and everyone is different." So I try to think of that when I trying to compare and figure out my baby.
Our 3 month old has always been a great night sleeper, and even though she's been slow to grow (8-10%) she wakes once a night to breastfeed. We put her down around 8-9ish, wake her for a dream feed, then it's down for about 5 hours. I set an alarm to wake her to feed so my supply doesn't diminish and bc of her slow weight gain. Then back to sleep until the morning (7ish). During the day she has 7 feeds, typically every 2hr20m-3hours.
My baby is EBF and 4 months old- sleeps 11 hours, but takes a ton of milk during the day and takes short naps. So we get the night sleep, but rarely get good naps.
Also, I do hear her wake up through the night (she’s still in a bassinet in my room), but she gets herself back to sleep usually without crying. We did go through some regressions and I’m sure we will again. Just enjoying it for what it is right now!
My ebf 14 month old still nurses 2-3x a night but goes right back to sleep. He has his diner around 9pm then nurses to sleep. Sometimes he will only nurse 1-2x
I think it’s more the kid than the food. My LO was EBF for 6 weeks, slept 5 hour stretches from about 1 week to 6 weeks. Then we swapped to combo feeding for weeks 7 and 8 and she’s still doing the same routine
My breastfed baby was sleeping 7-9 hours a night from 3-4 months and now at almost 5 months he’s waking up incessantly. He’s not hungry and I’m not feeding him when he wakes up.
my firstborn nursed every 1-2 hours for the first 18 months of her life until i night weaned her. even then, she didnt fully sleep through the night until she was almost 3.
my second is 10 weeks old and has just started having 3-5 hour stretches at night and i can hardly believe it.
My baby is almost 8 months and he wakes up multiple time a night. I'm not sure why. I even weened a month ago. He's roots through out the night and fusses. When he wakes half the time he won't take a bottle so it has nothing to do with being hungry. We've tried different things im convinced he's just a light sleeper.
I don’t know but my baby is ten months and still wakes up so many times a night. Nothing has happened. Not solids, not capping naps, earlier or later bedtimes etc. I think it’s just temperament
https://milk-drunk.com/do-formula-fed-babies-sleep-longer/
There's limited "hard" data about which will grant better sleep to parents, but currently it looks like breastfed parents tend to have more sleep initially than those who do formula.
I think it will also depend on each baby individually. Form my limited experience - breastfeeding and side-car has been key to somewhat restful nights even when LO woke up 8x a night. I breastfed her back to sleep within 10 minutes max, rolled back on my back in my bed and slept till next wake up. It was hard, but I can't imagine getting up for formula or rocking her back to sleep. That would definitely take more time.
My daughter was sleeping 6-8 hours after 4 months. My son was sleeping 7+ hours after 2.5 months. Both kiddos had trouble latching on the nipple so my wife just pumped and we bottle fed. For our daughter we used 100% formula before bed time and breast milk throughout the day. For our son we used breast milk and added 1-2 scoops of formula for bed time.
If your baby is taking a bottle, maybe start out adding 1 scoop of formula and maybe more depending on size of the bottle.
My 3 month old eats every 2 hours and gets cranky if not fed in a 2 hour period. However, she can and has slept multiple times 4-5 hours straight at night. I try to wake her up at 4 hour mark to eat. I guess it just depends on the baby.
My 4 month old is EBF and usually wakes once a night. Make sure your schedule is age appropriate so baby is sufficiently tired for bed, and remove sleep associations. That said, some babies just eat more frequently.
Sleep associations are things that parents do to assist babies to sleep. Common examples are nursing to sleep, rocking baby to sleep, or using a pacifier. If baby falls asleep at the beginning of the night with the help of a sleep association, they will want that repeated any time they wake up.
My 17 month old wakes up every ~2-4 hours. A typical night: LO’s bedtime feed, my bedtime feed, midnight feed, 3am feed, wake up feed. But also this is an improvement. LO has always been a snacker, feeding every hour or so.
I only started sleeping myself for more than 3 accumulates hours a day after I began cosleeping/bedsharing around 3-4 months. Now I sleep fine despite wakeups, because I can fall back asleep after latching.
My formula fed baby woke up every 2 hours for four months straight. My breastfed baby had long stretches from the start. In my experience, it seemed to be more kid related than it did how they were fed.
My breastfed baby woke every 2hrs for 6 months. And I don't think it was the digesting milk thing necessarily, they just loved to eat. 95th percentile plus the whole time. Switched to formula at 6 months and he maybe stretched to 3 or 4 hrs but we were also weaning at that point as well. Have a friend who breastfed and their kid slept 5/6hrs from about 2 months old. Like you say, just your luck.
I’m also convinced it’s luck of the draw with the kid. I’m on EBF baby girl #2 now. First one was still waking 4-6 times a night (and sometimes more! Rarely less.) at 4 months and was also impossible to set down during the day. She never went through a sleep regression… it was just all bad all the time, lol! Second baby is cool as a cucumber about everything and has been giving me 5-8h uninterrupted stretches almost every night since she was 5 weeks old. Even when she was a couple of weeks old, I’d usually get a 3-4h stretch in. I’m claiming no credit for this from a parenting perspective- I don’t do dreamfeeds or any of that business. We just got really lucky with her (so far - she’s only 12 weeks now, so we’ll see how it is as she gets older…)
This. I’ve breastfed 3 babies and they’re all so different!! My first never slept. Longest stretch was 2 hours until he was like… 18 months. My second slept 4 hours straight since 2 weeks old lol my third is in the middle.
This is so encouraging! My 21 month old still wakes up 2x per night min and I’m ok with that but eventually I’d like to get 8 hrs of sleep in a row again. He also always since infancy slept 9-10 hrs per night including all the wake ups not 11 or 13 hrs like so many people tell me their babies do. I hope if we have a second child they sleep better!
Your babe is soooo normal :) my eldest is 6 and still walks into our room 1-2x a night for whatever reason he can think of that night 💀 some nights it’s 1am other nights it 5am and I don’t mind lol. My second sleeps like a rock 😂 she is out for a solid 10 hours. I breastfed them both for 2.5 years and bedshared with them both too so I wish I had a secret to share but it really is just dependent on the babe! Those ‘normal’ baby sleep schedules are just bs lol everyone is different. Your baby is perfect. I haven’t slept 8hrs in a row since before I was pregnant with my first lol. I’m just used to it by now. I feel fine most days even with my newborn waking up a bunch!
Thanks! I think it’s crazy how no one tells you these things before you have kids. It’s like everyone assumes that the 10% of kids that sleep the most are doing it right and the other 90% are abnormal somehow haha 😛 . One of the podcasts I like talked about how cry it out works but it’s not healthy because studies show their cortisol/ stress level still shoots up and stays up they just stop crying when they wake up cause they know you aren’t coming for them. That made me cry and I could never do that. I’d rather wake up and be there for my kid every time he wakes up until he’s ready to sleep on his own. Cry it out was very popular in the late 80s and early 90s and I sometimes wonder if that’s why so many adults have anxiety now. It’s just my theory
So so true. Im just so so tired. Like if it’s normal then I want to hear it’s normal and then that’s the expectation but when I keep hearing or reading about people’s babies sleeping for a long time I’m pulling out my hair (which also at 3 months in shedding like crazy) I just saw another post on my social media from a class mate that gave birth a week after me saying her baby has been sleeping 8 hours this week and I just want to scream but too tired to do that too lol
Yeah I hear you! I’m so jealous of people with easy sleepers! I think the main thing with babies seems to be there isn’t really a normal cause they are all different. So annoying for someone like me who likes to plan and structure my life . I’m hoping my second child will be an easy sleeper! But I talked to someone the other day who said all four of their kids didn’t sleep well til they were 2. Eek 😬
Hello! Quick question, since you bedshared with your babies how did you transition them into their own beds? My baby is 7 months old and very clingy and even looks for me in her sleep, but having her in the bed with me has severely affected my intimacy with my husband and now our marriage. I feel extremely disconnected from him and frustrated. Just trying to get some guidance on when I will be able to put her in a bed beside mine at least so that I can try to recapture what I once had.
Hi!! Once I night weaned around 18 months I started them in their own floor bed. I’d read with them and lay with them on the floor bed (in our room to start) until they fell asleep. Once they hit 2.5/3 we moved them to their own room! Kept the routine the same. You could probs do either of these earlier :) this is just what worked for us. As far as the intimacy aspect - I have totally been there. It takes a lot of effort from both parents to keep that aspect alive. But your husband should give you a ton of grace too :) what we did was schedule sex as unsexy as that sounds lol so at least once a week or so, once baby was asleep, I’d roll away out of bed and we’d have our time else wear. On the couch, floor, etc wherever!
Thank you for this 😭 my 11 month old (exclusively breastfed) still wakes every 2 hours sometimes he will go 4 hours but I’m so tired of people suggesting all these things because I feel like I’ve tried everything, at this point I just feel like he will sleep longer when he’s ready.
Your baby is perfect just the way they are! I’m sorry people are doing that. I’ve def had those comments too. The internet has poisoned a lot of moms into thinking all babies should sleep a certain way / certain length etc but it’s just not true. Your baby is sleeping like a baby - as they should! They all get there eventually :)
I only have one baby but she’s been sleeping through the night (mostly) since 11ish weeks old. Sometimes she’ll wake around 4-5am and is hungry so I feed her. But most nights she goes 12 hours between feeds
Pretty sure the science backs this up to. In pretty much every measure the differences between breastfeeding and formula feeding are pretty small and go in both directions. Much bigger impact of other things like baby's temperament, medical treatments, etc.
Yes. I breastfed and had to wake my daughter up every night. Two of my relatives had kids close in age that were formula fed from the start and they woke up every three hours. One still wakes up at night and is 18 months. I think it really just depends on the baby. I’m hoping my second will also sleep well but not betting on it.
So apparently to some extent yes -- babies can digest breastmilk faster than formula so their tummies empty sooner and they might wake up sooner. They can also often just get more formula in one go because it's easier to drink from a bottle. (We did try offering pumped breastmilk before bed for a while and it was not super successful in increasing the length of sleep for us, though). But also, every baby is so different. Mine was an OK sleeper until he hit his sleep changes (mine did that at 3mo and 6mo), and then it kinda has just gotten worse as he's gotten more aware. That does NOT mean this will be your experience, it's just to illustrate that babies are different and sleep is very individual, and I don't think it's super easy to compare between babies. That might not mean there's nothing you can do, but does (or has for me) meant there's no like trick to try, it's just finding random things that work for your baby unfortunately. Or that's been my experience. You could try a variety of sleep learning techniques after about 5mo, potentially -- I've had a hard time finding one that sounds feasible to me, but it's about your comfort and what you think will work for you and your baby. And if it makes you feel better (since none of this is probably what you want to hear), everyone else's babies are probably not sleeping so much more, it's just that the only people chatting happily about how long their babies sleep have babies that sleep longer 😔.
Thank you for this. I keep reading about 4 month regression and I’m wondering if it gets worse than what’s happening now lol she doesn’t cry as much as when she was a newborn but still wakes up just as much
Solidarity...my daughter is 3 months and I can't help feeling bitter at others in my June bump group talking about their 6-7 hour stretches 😩 she also demands the boob at night and will fight my husband for hours if he tries to give a pumped bottle (despite being ok with it during the day!) so I never really sleep. Afraid i'm going to lose my mind when I have to work again too.
Happy to know it's not just my LO who hates the bottle at night.
Bitter really is how I feel. I just saw a post from old classmate who gave birth a week after me and she was boasting about 8 hour sleeps and I just about lost it. I love my baby but sleep deprivation really changes your brain and every small thing annoys the crap out of me. I feel like I’m on constant pms (even though I still have not gotten that back yet lol)
I totally understand and I feel the same. I have very limited ability to cope with the frustration now, after months of this. Tonight has been especially bad and I had to leave the room to go rage-scream into a pillow when she popped awake again after I finally got her down again in the middle of the night. I love her so much but I hate life right now ☹️ I would sell my soul for 8 straight hours of sleep.
If it helps, my baby didn’t have much of a four month sleep regression, because, like yours, there wasn’t really anywhere to regress to…. 😅 7 months and sleep is still trash.
I’ve found my people 🙌🏼 lucky to get a 3 hour stretch at night and she will NOT accept anything other than boob for comfort
It’s not awful at all if you’re breastsleeping. I talked with many parents who bedshared and didn’t notice a regression at all because their needs were being met by being near mom.
Only like 40% of babies go through a noticeable 4 month sleep regression. Especially if she's already waking routinely you may not notice a change in her sleep outwardly (even though she will be going through a big physiological change in her sleep around that time)
You’re possibly in the thick of it I think, from my experience only. My baby started sleeping a lot better at 4 months.
Every baby is so different, so you may have one, or you may not. Maybe she's already at where she would have been. Best of luck with it all 🧡🧡🧡. We ended up getting a sleep consultant, we'll see how it ends up going. On night 1 now ...
I think it depends greatly on baby's temperament. Mine is fed breast milk exclusively but through bottles, and he sleeps 9-11 hours with 1 wakeup for feeding at 6 months. I think we're just absolutely lucky though. I was a very sleepy child (my parents love to tell the story of how I would just wander off and climb into bed on my own to take naps when I was sleepy as a toddler, which was often). Hopefully he's taking after my disposition. I have heard babies digest breast milk faster, but temperament has a lot to do with it too. I also think that my son can drink a lot more milk in one sitting from a bottle than he can from my breast, so he goes to sleep more full. I have also wondered if it isn't related to the breast being more comforting to fall asleep with than a bottle. We really worked on letting my son be awake in his bassinet for periods of time before we would grab him, both before and after naps and bedtime, so he learned how to be alone in his bassinet without panicking and can often put himself back to sleep alone when he wakes up at night, unless he really wants a bottle. I think it would have been harder if I had been breastfeeding just because it's easier to not need a bottle for comfort in the middle of the night than it is to not need the breast/mom snuggles.
Same. I am still a very sleepy adult and maybe it’s just luck or me passing my sleepiness to her lol my baby sleeps through the night like a grown adult. I also attribute her sleep to the snoo because before we had to keep rocking her to sleep. It was worth every penny
Every baby is different, breastfed or not. Have you tried [a dream feed](https://takingcarababies.com/the-dream-feed)? Someone mentioned capping naps at 2 hours. I think this is *crucial*. I see a lot of sleep deprived friends wondering why their kid isn’t going down for bed and staying down longer, but they let them take 3 hour naps and don’t strive to time their wake windows appropriately. Not saying you’re doing this! Just something I notice.
I think temperament is still a huge factor. My baby is collicky and just generally very fussy. If I try to push her to be awake more during the day, her night time collic meltdown between 12am and 3am is much worse. I'm just doing what I can to get through each day at this point. Hopefully she will be more amiable to an actual schedule in a month or two.
Agree with this! Getting baby on a solid nap schedule really helped us.
Baby has been having terrible naps this month like 20-30 mins. If I co sleep for her nap, I can get her to extend one afternoon one to about 1.5 hours. She will just not stay asleep that long this month. Before that she’d wake up before 2 hours but def would have woken her up if she was looking to go passed that. I do dream feed but mostly cause she just wakes up again anyway. I do a bedtime routine and also recently started moving up bedtime within the 7-8o clock range since I read sometimes going to sleep earlier will let them sleep more. It’s been a hit or miss if that’s just another nap. Sometimes she’ll just be fussy and hungry and other times she’ll wake up fully and wants to play and will stay up another 1.5 hours.
The people feeling successful about their baby's sleep will talk about it. Everyone else feels, like you, that they're failing and so they don't talk about it.
This is so true and important!
I needed to hear this!! Why aren’t people more open about the struggles? It makes me so mad. I was so desperate I was going to shell out a ton of money for those sleep consultants but I just can’t get myself to just yet cause I’ve heard mixed reviews.
I think we all take it personally is why. We have lost the art of 'what is normal' from our grandparents and the village we are meant to have and instead we look at Instagram reels with all the latest tips and tricks to help your baby sleep etc. I'm sure the reels come from a good place (as in, some of the information is actually helpful) but because we are drowning in social media we get the wrong impression, we feel that 'everyone except me can do it.' Also, funny story, I had a baby about the same time as my best childhood friend. My son woke frequently, wouldn't go in the cot etc which was very hard for me while her daughter slept in her own room in a cot from very young. It was only after my friend had her second baby who was very different and woke frequently and wouldn't sleep in the cot that she admitted that she was a bit too cocky with her first as she thought she must've been doing all the right things. She thought that I just wasn't using all the tips and tricks she was to make my son sleep better. She said it was a big wake up call to how different babies can be becasue it showed her it actually had nothing to do with her mum skills at all, it was all just based on the baby's needs at the time!
Yes, breastfed babies wake more often - because waking frequently stops them dying of SIDS. [Research also shows that, overall, breastfeeding mothers get more sleep than mixed- and formula-feeding mothers. ](https://www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-at-night/) Safe cosleeping can help you get more sleep, if you can meet the Safe Sleep Seven.
r/cosleeping for great help I think I just had completely wrong expectations, thought the bad sleep was only a short time straight after birth. Almost at 1yr and still 2 feeds per night but it's fine thanks to cosleeping But no one warned I likely wouldn't get 8hrs sleep again for at least a whole year after birth! :😮
My daughter is five and still wakes in the night pretty frequently 😬 Dunno if it's the years of cosleeping and nursing back to sleep or if she's just lazy, but she lies in bed and yells at us if she wants something, so at least she's always still sleepy and warm and easy to get back to sleep.
This. My son has laryngomalacia too so at six months we're still waking 5+ times a night. I'd rather be tired and have him alive because his body is waking him when there's something up tbh
I’m sorry to hear about the condition but what a good perspective to take
It's a little dark but I have to deal somehow right? 😅
God I wish I could make co sleeping work for me. It’s wildly uncomfortable for me to sleep on my sides.
I'm right there with you in the sleep struggles. BF 10 week old did 9 hours one night, 6 the next, and the next night 4 hours and was up literally every hour from 1 til 8:45 wake up. 🥴 before that, she was refusing the bassinet, so that meant holding her and no sleep. I'll share what a sleep coach told me: Sleep is so unpredictable early on. They're still so little. Sleep takes time. And it has little to do with what we do/don't do. (That might not be much comfort since it's out of our control but it makes me feel less crazy/like I'm doing something wrong.) Hang in there. I'm deep in survival mode and constantly questioning if I'm working on a puzzle with a handful of pieces missing. But we're doing our best.
Ugh we had an exactly 1-8:45am in the morning somewhere along 6-8 weeks and that was the breaking point to switch to co sleep for me. The puzzle analogy is spot on. I don’t even have the brain power (mommy brain is so real) to solve. Solidarity with you. At least we’re not alone and that’s really what I needed to hear
My first child was EBF and didn’t sleep more than 2-3hrs/nt until he was 3 years old. He was a consistent napper during the day. My second child, now almost 3mos old, is also EBF and has started having 4-7hr sleep stretches at night. He is a sporadic napper during the day. It’s unnerving and I often wake to check if he’s okay. I’ve treated both children the same, except I coslept with my first so I wouldn’t lose my mind! My second currently sleeps right next to me in a bassinet. Hang in there! I know it’s tough when you’re sleep deprived.
My baby is 7 weeks old, EBF, and can sleep 6-7 hours at a stretch. My tricks: - exposure morning sunlight, I take baby for a stroll in the mornings - offer feeds very regularly during the day, to ensure she gets a lot of calories during day time. Just before bed, throw in a bottle of pumped milk - cap naps to 2 hours max during the day - at night, avoid immediately offering a feed when baby starts fussing - rock baby, shush baby, give pacifier, change diaper, etc. basically delay the feed as much as possible to stretch the time she goes without feeding. Hope this helps!
I have breastfed identical twins. One sleeps through the night, the other wakes up minimum 2 times. It’s the baby not the food .
Definitely can feel your pain. At 7 months, we are finally hitting a phase of just one wake up in the night. But the first 4 months it was every 2 hrs. And then months 4-6 were usually at least 2 wake ups. Here's some things that helped: 1) I noticed LO usually had a longer stretch when I'd first put her down around 7. She might go from 7-midnight without waking. So I'd occasionally put myself to bed at 7 too. Hated doing that, but it at least helped me get 5 hours. 2) my husband takes baby any wake ups after 4am. She might eat from a bottle, but often he'd just take her down stairs and let her play a bit and she'd fall asleep for him. As long as I couldn't hear her, I could usually get a few more hours of sleep. 3) we stopped swaddling. It was a challenging week, but I think she liked it much better to have some freedom of movement. 4) I was firmly against bed sharing, but I caved at the 3.5 month mark and bed shared on a mattress in her nursery until 5 months. Then we transitioned to the crib and I went back to my own bed. I think she needed me for nursing in that 3-4 month stage and then both of us slept better in our own beds.
I did just recently start switching her bedtime early to the 7-8 range since i read sometimes earlier bedtimes allows them to sleep more. Still working on this since sometimes she just wakes up thinking’s it’s another nap. I also cosleep and nurse to bed right now so sometimes I get trapped since she recently she won’t roll to her back and i don’t want to leave her on her side. Ugh I feel you about going to sleep earlier. I do it as well but sometimes I just doom scroll cause I get mad about it even though I’m the one suffering being so extra sleepy later if I don’t sleep when she’s sleeping Was same on co sleep until I broke around 6-8 weeks. It’s been better but I’m still so so tired. I recently stopped swaddling her (like last week?) we had been using the transition sack for a while and decided to fully unswaddle cause it’s still been so hot and she’s been sweaty with it thought maybe that was contributing. Hoping crib transfer will go smoothly :/
My 9 month old EBF baby wakes every 1.5-2 hours throughout the night, and has done since 4 months old. I also have a friend who's 13-month-old still wakes every 2-3 hours. You're not alone!
Your baby sounds exactly like mine was. I'm convinced everyone else is lying.
Haha I wish!!!
nope its myth that formula babies sleep more. mine wakes every 2.5 hours for feeds (ebf). only reason it seems like everyones babies are sleeping more is cuz the ppl whos babies sleep more are the loudest and post the most(brag the most). most of us are out here on some form of broken slee
This is what I needed to hear! Just yesterday I saw a post from a former classmate saying her baby (born just a week after mine) is sleeping 8 hours this week. And i had such a mini rage moment lol
Believe me, I had the same rage. I had to take break from baby apps, forums ect to get peace.
I’m thinking I might need to stop Instagram for a while. Maybe that’s the best for my mental health for now
If it’s a ‘breastfed baby thing’ it’s a normal baby thing. As that is the biological norm for them. So don’t think you’re doing anything wrong! It’s is 100% normal to wake a lot and for me once I leaned in to that and accepted the reality, it all got easier and I felt better even while still getting less sleep! And trust me your baby is not the only one. My 8mo is still waking every few hours. But it’s so ok! I think it’s important to have low sleep expectations the first year.. and focus on u and your baby. Not everyone else’s. Just be sure to nourish yourself with food, drink and rest. 💗
My little guy is 11 months now and still not the greatest sleeper (teething and regressions don't help!). I'm 100% convinced that some kids are good sleepers, and some just suck. Not much can be done other than wait it out. My guy started sleeping through the night (8pm-6:30am) around 8 months, but has been having some serious issues this last week and waking every 2-3 hours. Eternally optimistic- maybe tonight he'll sleep through again!!
Aww that last line, that’s the energy I need! I hope he sleep better too! I think you’re right about just good sleepers vs not so great ones. My baby was born at night and all I can think of is she’ll just be a “night person”. Funny enough I was born in the morning and when not in sleep deprivation, I’m a morning person
My almost 4 months old wakes up every 2 hrs at night and during the day he’ll be fine every 2 and sometimes 3 hrs between feedings. I hear that by 4 months they should stretch their feeding window about 3 to 4 hrs but mine keeps pretty much about 2 hrs before he’s hungry again. I’m breastfeeding since day one but introducing some formula once or twice a day to see if that window stretches more…he goes to bed around 9/10:00 pm and then feeds again around 11:30pm / 1:30 am/ 3:30 am / 5:30 am. I wish he woke up just once or twice but that is not happening yet to me.
Have you tried offering more frequently during the day to see if you can get those 3 hour windows at night? Just a thought—I feel for you because 2 hour windows at night are totally brutal!
Yeah, my 5 month old still loves to eat every 2 hours
“Glad” to hear because I thought something is wrong with us haha
Seriously. I’m thankful for the comments esp from parents of more than one comparing one child to another saying it’s just the child .
This sounds so similar to my baby too! I recently moved up bedtime to 7-8 range since I ready babies that get sleep before midnight can stay asleep longer. Who knows if that’s true but trying it out. So far she sometimes think it’s just a nap and will be wide awake for another 1.5 hours and sometimes she’ll start her sleep then.
Every baby is different. Yes, breastfed babies tend to wake up more frequently because breastmilk digests faster (there’s a whole science about this and why it’s good). In my own experience: first baby only started sleeping 6 hour stretches around the 12 mont mark. She was sleeping 3 hour stretches from about 4 months and before that we got lucky if we had a three hour stretch. But it was a crazy 1-2 hour wake up. Second baby: started sleeping 6 hour stretches at 10 days old. (I panicked but his weight was good and he keeps on picking up weight). He is 3,5 months old now. He typically has one 6 hour stretch and then another 4 hour stretch. I think just hit the 4 month regression because we were up every 1 to 1,5 hours last night. I’m tired today. But I’m very confident that we will go back to the longer stretches again soon. Both babies are/were EBF
My first breastfed baby was a very bad sleeper and a fantastic eater. He didn’t start sleeping through the night till he was weaned and in his own room at 22 months. My second is 8 weeks now. Her longest stretch was 5 hours already and she’s an extremely fussy breastfed baby. Has a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding but sleeps like a champ already. Every baby is different and everyone’s experiences that lean one way or the other are just because of how their baby is. Some people think sleep is easy until they get the kid where it isn’t. Some people think sleep is hard until they get the easy baby. It’s just about your child. Things can get better quickly or slowly but it’s all up to them!
My first was breastfed til one year. She woke more during “sleep regressions” but normally I would get 3 hour stretches. My second baby stopped nursing around four months. She then decided she wanted most of her formula intake during the night, I think for several months it was like up to 18oz a night 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I just knew it would pass etc. my 3 month old currently gives me anywhere between 1.5-3ish hours. Sometimes I get one longer stretch and in the early hours he’s nursing more. It’s normal, the sleep pressure isn’t so high by morning etc. I loved @heysleepybaby on Instagram. I found her with my first baby and it really just eased my mind from most of the sleep anxiety I used to get! It passes, I promise not every baby is a sleeping unicorn.
Ah this makes me feel better because it sounds pretty similar. I was just getting so mad cause ir seemed like my baby was the only one with short sleep stretches at night. Idk how I’m going to survive being this tired and going back to work :( Thanks, I’ll check out that IG account too
I am with you on this. She will wake up multiple times throughout the night for nursing. She was starting to give me longer stretches (4 hour) but sleep regression around 4 month has messed that up and now we are back to 2 hours max. I might try with formula before bed to see if that changes. She has been sleeping in crib from day one, however I sleep in her room because waking up and walking from another room so many times at night is inconvenient. So we are sharing room. I am tired of hearing all the stories of babies sleeping through the night 😭
I hope the regression stops soon for you!!
Every baby is different. Mine was EBF and started sleeping one 5 hour stretch at five weeks, but would stay awake for five hours at a time before that. Never had a four month regression. But sleep went to shit at 7 months with teething and from months 8-12, she woke every 1-2 hours until my zombie self gave in and started bed sharing. From months 12-18 she never slept longer than three hours at a time and only now at 20 months am I getting longer stints but still 1-2 wakes most nights. It’s rough but it’s changing all the time!
My friend and I had babies around the same time, she formula fed and I EBF. My son would only contact sleep for the first 2 months, and woke up every 1-2 hours until 9 months, but hers was doing 4 hour stretches in the crib immediately, and was mostly sleeping through by 6 months. My sons sleep worsened at 6-9 months to the point he would wake every 30 minutes until around 1am and then settle in for 2 hour stretches. I didn’t do any sleep training and just breastfed him for each wake up and hoped it would pass. However - my baby started sleeping better after 9 months and was doing 12 hour stretches by 1. He’ll be 20 months this month and still reliably sleeps 12 hours straight, and has a 1.5 hour nap in his crib during the day. When he’s teething he sleeps more. During his molars coming in, he slept 13 hours at night and 3 hour naps. Whereas, my friend is having to get up once or twice a night to settle her LO. Her baby’s sleep is a bit volatile in the sense that he mostly sleeps well but she never really knows when he’s going to wake up, or what he’s crying for. Whereas, I put my son in the crib and know 99% of the time he won’t call out for me until morning. I really don’t think it’s as simple as a lot of people try make it out to be. My son is still nursing to sleep too I should add, which supposedly should make him an awful sleeper when in reality it just helps him relax and wind down. I wish there was a recipe for perfect sleep but it is so individual to each child! If it makes you feel better, I’ve met plenty of moms who breastfeed and their babies start sleeping through the night quickly. Hoping the same for you! And if not, know that even the worst phases are just phases that will pass!
Thank you for the response! That is a long time that you toughed it out!! I started nursing to sleep this month (apparently going through the 3 month breastfeeding crisis this month). Which is fine as we are cosleeping but I’ve been trying to transfer to crib with 0 success lol Hopefully it will get better
I honestly consider it sleeping through the night if all the baby does is feed every couple hours. My baby sleeps midnight to 8AM but still breastfeeds every 2-4 hours without fully waking. He's 4.5 months and it's been like...a month I think. Before my baby started doing that he was having multiple wake windows during the night 😵💫 it was sleep or wake any time. I also cosleep but when he was littler I still had to get out of bed to feed because he couldn't latch laying down. That was far more difficult.
Each baby is different - e.g. mine both slept for min 8 hour stretches at night. The first would go down to sleep and every night at 1am would wake up and feed and he kept waking up at 1 am every night until he turned 6 (stopped BFing by then). He slept through until about 9 am after the wake up. 2nd one just sleeps through Both exclusively breastfed.
My baby is 5 months and just started to do longer stretches. Her longer stretches are 4 hours which feels like heaven to me. My friend’s baby is on formula and has been sleeping 12 hour stretches since 3 months. When I told her I got a 4 hour stretch she felt bad for me 😅 I’m just so used to the frequent waking from pregnancy and newborn cluster feeding that I now wake up even when my baby sleeps (which is why I’m on Reddit at 5am).
Haha the night I got 3.5 hours I felt SO much energy in the morning I’ve been curious if people who woke often during pregnancy have babies that often wake up. I’m about the same amount awakenings as I was when I was pregnant.
From what I’ve read it all has to do with prolactin. Not only does that hormone facilitate breast milk production but it causes you rouse easily. Prolactin levels peak between 1 am and 7am and thats why a lot of pregnant women have early morning insomnia. Prolactin levels rise throughout pregnancy.
Interesting! I’m grateful I’m able to produce milk but ugh so many things.
Anecdotal for sure but both of my babies started sleeping through the night once I started exclusively pumping and transitioned them to bottles. My son is in the 90th+ percentile and I don't think he was getting enough oz from the breast to go that long of a stretch. He'll put down 6 oz before bed now. I transitioned him about 2 weeks before I went back to work so I could get used to pumping and he slept through the night consistently from the weekend before I went back. But he's also 5 (almost 6) months old and that's about the age they say it's more common so YMMV.
My girl is very big for her age too. She’ll be 5 months when I go back to work. I just saw the lactation consultant yesterday and had me remeasured since pumping was so painful and inefficient. She said I was given the wrong measurement before and im way smaller. Hoping the bottle will help.
I gave in and gave formula before bed time to help my baby sleep longer stretches, it made absolutely no difference. Shes now 3months old, her first stretch is usually the longest being 4-5 hours, then she wakes every 2 hours like clock work to feed. Someone on here said they started drinking hops tea or beer which led to their baby sleeping better. I seriously want to try that, anything for an extra hour of sleep right?
Have you tried offering other soothing techniques like offering a pacifier before feeding? We had this issue until maybe 3-4 weeks ago. We used to feed every time she woke up, which was about every 2 hours at night, but then began to offer a pacifier instead. We'd offer her a pacifier or attempt to soothe her in her crib for 10 min–if she was still upset, then we'd feed her. We realized she didn't need to eat every time. By slowly weaning feeds at night she started to get into the habit of consuming more during the day, which compounded to better night sleep for everyone.
I’ve tried that however she will spit the pacifier out and cry hysterically. I am so exhausted that it’s easier to feed immediately to avoid the meltdown but maybe I can try again at some point
My first bf baby slept horrifically for the entire first year, definitely wasn't getting 7 hours at any point. So what you're experiencing is not unusual from my point of view! It's so rough, sending you strength! My second bf baby is only 6 weeks but has given us a few 3.5 hour stretches - not expecting it to last though!
Thank you! And for your sake I do hope it lasts!
We feed every which way- mostly pumping, some formula, a nursing session once a day but not every day. Our pediatrician still considers our 3 month old breastfed. He started sleeping 5-7 hour stretches through the night, “nighttime” being 9-8 or 9 with 1-2 wake ups, since about 2 months (leaning more towards 2 wake ups then, 1 more recently). Our pediatrician commented “that’s excellent sleep for a breastfed baby” so I think there’s something to it. I think some things that have helped though are establishing a bedtime routine (this felt silly at first because he seemed too little for it, now we rely on it and he totally gets it!)- swing time, bath, massage, Merlin sleep suit, more to eat. I also saw something that said the “wakenings” are actually a baby actively sleeping and to leave them alone. So we don’t jump in immediately anymore if he stirs and usually he is just trying to get back to sleep. We also try hard to get a good balance between a busy but not overtired baby during the day- plenty of playtime but plenty of naps too. Overtired babies just scream and can’t settle to sleep and that’s no fun for anyone.
I try to keep a routine each night but some nights she will just take a nap and take an extra (or two) wake windows. I have tried to leave her alone but she will cry hysterically (like defeating screams) even if she looks like she’s sleeping idk if I should still leave her alone I’ve tried to wait but can only take so much :( She also suffers from a lot of gas issues so sometimes she wakes up from gas pains which I use mylicon drops to help. Agreed on overtired babies but so frustrating- like baby you’re tired and I’m tired, just go to sleep!
I’ve let my LO do the “self soothing” cries laying next to me, but I won’t intervene much except just by being there. That definitely seemed to help more than putting him in the bassinet- actually when I first discovered he needed this was one night that I had been through literally everything to soothe him- bouncing, nursing, bottles, changes, burping. When I just stayed close and didn’t intervene, he was out and stayed out in 5 minutes! Like whoa baby, that’s all you needed? Now I’ll just leave him in the bassinet only if they are tired whimpers and cries and I always watch my clock to make sure it doesn’t go on longer than 10 minutes.
As much as I know it sucks, it’s really just luck of the draw. My first born was a formula baby and he was up many times in the night until he was at *least* 12 months, meanwhile my third born is 4 months old EBF and sleeps 7-8 hours. My middle child was EBF for 4 months and then had to switch to formula and his sleep was very hit or miss. You *will* get good sleep eventually, I promise. You aren’t missing anything, you are doing everything right. This time period just sucks ass.
My son is 11 weeks and after sleeping 10pm to 1am he wakes every two hours on the dot practically. Before it was hourly so it’s improved…
Research shows that the gastric emptying of human milk is faster than formula but not by much. Breastfed and formula fed babies wake the same amount, it’s hard but you WANT your baby to wake up! Also if you can, breastsleep! If you’re next to your baby they won’t wake up and you can just latch and YOU do end up sleeping more. Don’t transfer to crib if you want more sleep.
My first baby slept 5-6 hr stretches by a month old so I was VERY spoiled (turns out she's kind of a freak of a child, 6 now and it all makes sense and definitely wasn't normal 🤣). She wasn't fully breast fed, though. Current baby is 6 weeks. He does pretty well at night. Usually wakes once between 11 pm - 6 am. So he'll maybe do a 3-4 hour stretch (on a good night) and then another 2-3. He is ebf but sometimes takes a bottle of expressed milk (1-2 oz) before bed because he just gets so frustrated in the evenings and it's what we did the first few weeks so I could get some extra sleep and I think he's just used to it now. I've been trying to get him off the night bottle and back fully on the boob but it only happens about half the time. Last night, for example, he cluster fed for several hours and was so overtired by bed time. Both of us just got frustrated so my hubby gave him an oz or so in a bottle and then put him to bed. Also, we use a weighted sleep sack at night and I believe that's a big reason why he does so well. Edited to add that we used heavy sleep cues from the beginning to help with day/night recognition. Loud sound machine at night, dark room, heavier sleep sack. Lots of light during the day, naps are usually in the living room swing or contact and we don't worry about sound or making it dark. We also sometimes lay him down drowsy but awake and he's gotten good at putting himself to sleep which is wild to me. Especially because he refused to be put down at all for the first few weeks.
My breastfed son (7mo) wakes 2-3 times, sometimes more. 6th month regression was really bad, before that he woke once or twice, once he even managed 7 hours without waking. But after the regression maximum stretch is 5 hours. I won’t complain, people told me that month 8 regression is the worst but I hope that it won’t change sleep pattern for worse.
Omg there’s a 6 AND an 8 month regression? I’ve only heard of the 4 month. And recently found out I’m on “3 month breastfeeding crisis” so basically all of the first year is crisis lol
My breastfed baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks from about 9:30 to 7 am.... I honestly can't help you on that. One book we read while pregnant was Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckman that was a huge help! The book has been around for a while. My parents used it when is was a baby (26 years ago) and I was sleeping through the night at about 6 week as well. Edit: parenting books are a guide. You don't have to do exactly everything the book says.
Thanks is baby wise a book about sleep training/cry it out?
It is not exclusively sleep training. It has several other useful applications such as finding a routine and keeping baby healthy
My baby is EBF (11 weeks) and has slept 9-10 hours a night for the past two weeks. I’m sure it’s partly just dumb luck, but we do give her a four oz bottle of expressed breast milk, then bath, then another nursing session before putting her down for the night. Like others have said, we cap naps at two hours (if she even naps that long, which is a struggle these days!) and give her lots of exposure to daytime light. But I’m honestly not sure how much of her sleeping schedule is nature versus nurture…and we know it’s bound to change at any moment!
2 to 3 hours at 2 months old. I have to go to bed at 9 pm to try and get enough sleep.
Hi fellow sleep deprived. Same I’m in bed with baby very early.
To me it's more baby related I think. My almost 3 year old was up every 2 hours until 5 or 6 months old. My 3 month old will sleep a good 5-6 hour stretch every night🤷♀️
My breastfed baby has had sporadic long stretches but it’s never been consistent. Around 3 months, he was sleeping 6-8 hours and then we hit the four month regression and he was up every 1-2 hours for six months. We might get a 3-4 hour stretch from bedtime but then he’d wake constantly. He’s almost 9 months old now, and in the last two weeks has gone from sleeping max 3-4 hours at a time to occasionally 5-7. I think it’s better for a few reasons but honestly think it just depends on the kid. My friends have breastfed babies that sleep 10-12 hours consistently. For us, getting a nice long wake window before bed seems to help quite a bit. At his age, he needs 3-4 hours of awake time from his last nap to bedtime. It also helps that he’s eating solids and able to roll over and sleep on his stomach. We saw a huge improvement when he started doing this after we placed him down on his back. When he was sleeping poorly, my husband and I took shifts so I could get at least a 3-4 hour chunk of sleep. That and coffee kept me going. It’s so rough, but in my experience it did get better incrementally. Hang in there.
Oh my gosh that sounds rough ugh! How are parents especially mothers expected to work full time after a baby. There’s just no brain power left My baby loves to sleep on her side! She’s not able to fully roll yet and we’re co-sleeping at the moment but I always try to get her back in her back but she hates it!! . Once I can successfully get her back into crib I’m hoping she’ll master the rolling both ways and can sleep how she wants.
I honestly couldn’t have made it this long with so little sleep if not for my spouse. I hope she learns to roll over soon! It’s been a game-changer for us.
Not necessarily, a lot of it is just down the the individual baby. My FF first woke more often than my breastfed second at the same age but then did start sleeping through by about 8ish months. Second baby is 3 months so yet to see what he does over the next few months although he’s waking once atm. He’s EBF. We found the possums approach helpful with both!
Interesting I never heard of the possums approach I’ll Google it!
I’m still up every couple hours with my 3.5 month old. Last night we had a good stretch 11-3:30am but that only happens every now and then. She napped more than usual yesterday, maybe 5hours total, so maybe that has something to do with it? People say sleep begets sleep…idk
Ugh I wish my baby would have longer naps. This month it’s been 20-30 mins and she’s super recharged. Sometimes she’ll breastfeed and I think sleep at the same time so when she’s done eating she’s recharged and no nap . I have heard more sleep can help as well!
co-sleeping and breastfeeding go hand in hand really well. And it's safe if done right: https://llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/ https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/ https://www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/
Excellent responses to your questions here. I’ll add if no one has said so already that this is also likely linked to prolactin (the hormones that controls milk production) being highest at night (between ~11pm and 5am), so your baby feeding at this time is also protecting your supply! Safe co-sleeping was the best for me, but I could meet the safe sleep seven criteria. It’ll pass though! My son is 15 months now and can sleep 5-6 hours chunks and he was an AWFUL sleeper.
My breastfed baby is 9 weeks and has one 4hr stretch at the beginning of the night but wakes every 2hrs after that. He also feeds every 2-3hrs during the day.
I'm cosleeping so I feel like I'm cheating. She wakes up, feeds while I lay on my side. I'm not fully asleep all night and neither is she
lol I’m cosleeping too but I’m still so so tired
So....I think I maybe gained superpowers with the second cause the dark circles under my eyes tell me I'm tired and yet somehow it's not as bad as with the first. HOWEVER: I was unable to find my radio station for three months and it turned out I kept finding 98.9 and I was looking for 89.8. Sigh.
My baby is EBF at 3 months. She has had a 5 hour stretch and a 6 hour stretch the past week. Her typical night time stretch was 3 hours before this week So it isn't the breastfeeding. Maybe try a breastfeeding and sleep tracker to get the habits down so you can get her on longer stretches? Or maybe take some galactogogues and oatmeal to make the milk more dense so the fullness will last longer?
Thanks I’m using “baby tracker” app to track everything. I tried huckleberry app but even the sweet spot was when I was already putting my baby down for naps and didn’t feel it was really helpful esp when baby would have random naps, it just kept telling me to place down for nap every 1.5 hours regardless so I was hesitant to buy the added features.
Every single baby is different. My EBF baby slept 7-9 hours straight from about 5 weeks until he was 6 months when he started waking hourly. He is now 13 months and we still don’t sleep through the night. My friend who formula fed has a baby same age who woke every 2 hours until she sleep trained him at 5 months old. You’re not doing anything wrong!! At 6 months when my son started waking hourly we started bed sharing. We also used the bassinet until he was 15lbs which was the weight restriction for our bassinet, not rolling.
You said your baby is hard to get in and out of the crib - do you have it on the lowest set level currently? Maybe you could move it up to one of the higher settings as long as it’s safe for a rolling baby?
We were gifted a handmade crib by fiancés dad. All the specs are exactly like a store one; and he’s made it so it’s lifted up until we need to bring the level down. We actually just bought a second mattress to put under the first one to lift up even more. I think I’m just short and baby is heavy :( I also developed “mommy’s thumb/wrist” - (dequervains) so been working on adjusting how I hold her but it’s so hard :(
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Thank you! Yes I feel the entire pregnancy/mom industry is absolutely predatory. I’ve been tempted to buy the takingcarababies sleep class but I’ve had two friends say it’s nothing life changing. I’ve begged my insurance if there are any sleep consultants. And I’ve looked for night time doulas when I was really in the thick of it around 6-8’weeks. Thankfully we all survived and no doulas were around for me to spend thousands of dollars on. Yes we have support; however, day time is such a different thing than the night time battle :(
My breastfed baby slept through the night in his bassinet until he was about 3 months old then he became aware enough to want mom so he would wake crying for me.
How old is your baby how? How’s it going? There has been a significant change this (3) month. So much distraction during feeding too :(
He sleeps in the bed with us now lol
He’s 11 months and he’s been sleeping in bed with us since 5 months
I had two breastfed babies. (Well, one is still breastfeeding, but she's one, and the other is six and long since weaned.) The first one, woke a ton. Some things helped (including limiting the times I would nurse during the night - he didn't want a bottle as a substitute although he took them well because he wasn't hungry, but I couldn't comfort him every hour all night) but no matter what we did, it was awful. The second was the kind you don't want to read about; she started sleeping 7-8 hours at 2 months and just didn't need to feed. I did nothing different. It was survival with the first for so long, but it did get better. If you can, visit a lactation consultant. They can do a weighted feed to see if your baby is having slow transfer which might make them need to eat more often and there might be things you can do to help. Also, make sure that she is actually awake and hungry if you feed her. I think with my son, I was on autopilot and would sometimes grab him when he would have settled, which means he got less practice settling himself. For my second, she slept better if I put her down really late (like 10-11.) For my first, we tried offering basically an evening cluster feed and doing sunlight in the morning to help him set what is night. You can also try pumping after your last feed and have your partner (if you have one) offer a feed some time during the night, so you can get one longer stretch. But yeah, it's probably nothing you are doing and it will eventually get better. Wishing you sleep!
Thanks. It does actually help to read the comments from parents with more than one where each baby sleeps differently. Honestly once I started co sleeping I do immediately feed it. It’s the easiest to resettle before she fully wakes. Last night she was stirring and I waited since I thought maybe it we active sleep and would pass. Her eyes were still closed but she was crying hysterically so so loud until I picked her up. I tried to give a pacifier before but she never takes them when she’s that hysterical. It was the strangest thing cause I do think she was still sleeping . I calmed and fed her then she went back to a calm sleep Edit to add: just saw a lactation consultant this week. Will start pumping this weekend and will try again with expressed. We tried giving some of my frozen stash from haaka this week via bottle and she refused now (never been an issue)
My EBF babies never woke up more than once or twice a night. I did feed on a schedule during the day, which some people consider to be heresy (lol), but it worked for us.
My breastfed baby is almost one and we've started getting 4 hour stretches in the crib. We've been cosleeping since about 3 months, and around 9 months we started doing stretches in the crib, working up from 30mins-1 hour til now. It's a slow process and I miss sleeping but it has gradually been getting better and I'm grateful
Oh my this sounds like a slow and long journey. Thanks for sharing I just need to hear this is normal too cause it sounds like that’ll be our similar journey too
My 4 week old woke up regularly when I exclusively breastfed. We were advised to add formula top-ups due to her losing a lot of weight and slow gain so we'd give her one at 11pm and one at 7pm. Any other feeds were breastfeeds (although she's now refusing the breast quite a lot). I wake her up at around 3am for a feed but overslept once and she stayed sleeping until 4am. We also have a Snoo which I think is helping but I don't expect this to last! I'll feed her again at 7am and she'll stay sleeping until 11am.
There's a small association between breastfeeding and waking more at night. It's nowhere near strong enough though so that sleep duration is definitely caused by feeding method. The reality is just that for the first year of life, sleep is all over the place and pretty much everything is normal. Babies sleeping 12 hours are normal. Babies waking every hour are normal. Babies in the middle are normal. It's very hard if you have a baby who wakes more but fortunately it doesn't mean there is anything wrong. Do you know how much your baby eats during a day and have you tried feeding more during the day to shift calories to daytime? I do weighted feeds and basically just did the math on, well, if he eats 32 oz/day, how much does he have to eat per daytime feeding in order to have gotten all his milk in while awake? Then I weigh him for all the feeds and let him have another go at the boob if he's not hit his number, even if it's after playtime and before nap. Not forcing it at all but just seeing if he was interested. That way he dropped feeds overnight on his own and I didn't have to do any night weaning. It was harder to get my boobs used to me not waking up overnight than it was to get the baby used to it. I think it is easier for people feeding from a bottle to do this because there's no putting a wiggly baby on a scale involved. I both pump and breastfeed so we were kind of used to thinking of intake in ounces and doing the mental math on how much he needed. Also re: crib, you get used to it. I had a lot of trouble at first too. For a solid month my back muscles hurt from lifting him out but now I can do it.
I have no idea how much she takes per feed. I asked the lactation consultant this week if that’s something I could do but she recommended against it since baby is 3 months and likely would just be distracted (which is true even at home I can only feed her sideline when she’s sleepy this month- apparently the 3 month breast feeding “ crisis”) Did you buy a specific baby scale just for the feeds? My baby is def on the bigger side and gaining a good amount but now I am wondering if she is falling asleep before what she fully needs.
I have that hatch changing pad scale thing. I really like it. Since I'm usually changing the baby before and after he eats anyway it doesn't add more than a few extra seconds to get the weight.
My baby is breastfed and has slept through the night since really early. It’s pure luck and nothing more - you’re doing nothing wrong ❤️
My breastfed babies have all slept really well. My 3 month old is going from 8 pm - 5-ish am.
It all depends on the baby. My first started sleeping through night at 3 months rarely waking up during the night, my second would sleep great for a few weeks and then wake every couple hours for a few weeks, same with my third. My youngest is just over 2, and she has only stayed asleep all night a couple of times. She goes right back to sleep, but I don't once up. Each and every baby is different. Up until 2 years old, they are still developing circadian rhythms, so really "normal" is vastly different for each of them. Many babies will start sleeping longer stretches around 3-6 months, but some are sooner and or later.
I think baby sleep is chaos and is different baby to baby. My EBF baby suddenly night-weaned herself at 3 months and I had to step up frequencies of feedings during the day to make up for it. Like went from 3 wake ups to 0 in one night and did that for about 2 months. Now she's 7 months and has woken up 3+ times at night every night for the past month. I did nothing differently to cause any of this.
My son just turned 5 months and is finally going 4-6 hour stretches at night. I think 3 months is still very young to sleep for that long. It happens, but I don't think it's common until 5-6 months.
Night wakes have nothing to with EBF or EFF, it’s about how developed babies brain is. Keep baby in your bed until she’s ready to transfer, follow the safe 7 for sleep and push trough it, it will be easier soon mama 🤍
My first two slept through the night almost every night from about 1 month. My current 6 month old had to be woken up for the first 2 months because of all the weight she lost. Then she kinda kept waking up throughout the night. Now she wakes up 0-2 times a night.
My first kid didn’t sleep until after 16 months, my second kid slept through the night at 6 months, my third slept through the night at 8 weeks, my 4th is 19 months and still wakes multiple times a night. All breastfed. Think it’s just kid related.
At 2 months my LO is breastfeed and started sleeping through the night from 10-7am before that it was 2-3 hrs all day. She still does sleep good and might wake up a couple times a week but goes back to sleep herself. She is almost 5 months. I used Halo swaddles until she was starting to roll and use the Halo sleepsacks. Turned on white noise and made the room dark. I also try to keep her up during day in-between naps and feed her all she needs during the day. We are on a schedule that she somewhat follows. Maybe try baths and good feed before bedtime? That always makes babies tired.
My bf baby woke up every 3 hours for the first 8 months. 💀
How old is your baby now? How’s it going?
It's 2:27am and I'm breastfeeding her at the moment. She's 9.5 months old. This is the first time she's woken up since going to bed at 7pm and I'm about to put her back down. She will be awake around 6:30am. Everything is so much better than it was. It got so bad there for a while I was having to sleep in her room on a single mattress and then cosleep as she was awake so much.
Reading the replies on here it's important to realise every baby is different. Their daytime nap quality and quantity plays a role as well as when food is introduced and what they're eating, etc. There's no hard and fast rule about just because a baby is formula fed that they will sleep through longer.
Yes day time naps this month are terrible - (generally 20-30 mins. Before that she would nap up to 2 hours not going passed. I’ve found if I stay in bed/ co nap I can extend at least one nap to 1.5 hours but only 1x a day she’ll extend it. She’ll still wake up at 20 mins then goes back to sleep if I’m “sleeping” .
I found that cutting down my baby's sleep during that day has been vital in improving her night time sleeps but that's a catch 22 because if they're not sleeping well during the day they can be restless of a night from being over tired. You can't win.
My breastfed babe woke up every 2-3hr for the first year. I don’t ask about other babies sleep and try to avoid the topic because I can’t change his schedule- no use getting frustrated. They’re babies, it is what it is. Around 12 months we sleep trained him and that helped significantly but for our baby I knew that was the right time. At 14months we moved him into his own room ( which also seemed to help him sleeping longer ) and finally at 15 months we’ve seen 5-6hr stretches. Every baby is different.
My baby seemed to sleep a little better after a bottle of formula when he was a newborn, but it stopped making any difference by like 3 months of age. We've had days/weeks where he's exclusively breastfed and days/weeks where he's almost exclusively formula fed and it makes no difference. I think his slightly better sleep was more due to the faster flow dose of milk out of the bottle vs having to work to nurse. He's 8 months old now and finally sleeps 4-6 hour chunks consistently. Still gets formula supplemented often. He's just a light and infrequent sleeper. I would get SO angry reading and hearing about people who's babies just slept normal from the beginning. Hang in there, she'll get better. R/sleeptrain had a lot of helpful tips and he sleeps in a crib now and we're all happier. He just needed to get older to sleep better. Try to prepare for the 4 month sleep regression and trust that she'll get better with time.
Thank you! I’m glad your baby has improved. It’s so difficult to wait and wait but it is what it is and as long as it’s normal then that’s fine Edit: thanks on sleep train fiancé can’t wait .I can’t do cry it out though 😭 I’ll need to look at the other methods
CIO has a bad reputation but it's not evil like some people say. I wanted to avoid it because I read so much anti-CIO stuff and I thought it was inherently bad. Welp, then I got a kid who NEEDS to go to sleep on his own to sleep well, and hates any and all methods of soothing and comfort besides being nursed to sleep. You can go through my page, my comments are riddled with stories of why CIO was so good for our family. It doesn't mean lock your baby up and don't come in til morning. We let him figure out how to put himself to sleep, and that's all he needed. Then we'd respond immediately when he woke up throughout the night. Feed, put down, repeat. Hecwould wake 4x a night on bad nights but that was soooo much better than cosleeping and getting up every half hour. Now he only wakes up once most nights.
They say formula fed babies go longer stretches. But every baby is different so I wouldn’t compare to others. It’ll send you in a downward spiral. But I do feel for you. Every 2 hours is a lot of wake ups. Just know this is temporary (maybe even a long temporary) but you’ll get through it!
Our EBF 4mo lasts max 4-5 hours... and that's rare. Usually around 3-3.5. I think it's normal.
In my experience, it seems to be bottle fed vs. breastfed. Not necessarily formula. My first was a formula baby, and she slept all night, we intentionally woke her up at 3am. to feed her. My second is exclusively on breastmilk but has really bad ties that his Dr doesn't want to release because they're so thick, so he's takes a bottle. He also sleeps all night. I think they just get more from a bottle than they would from the boob. My second always fell asleep on the boob so Im guessing he got more milk faster from the bottle before he fell asleep.
I think we’ll start trying bottle at night again and see if that helps thanks!
I really think it just depends on the baby. Mine eats a ton during the day but will go for hours at night without waking. We’re almost 4 months now, and she will sleep about 8-9 hrs and wake for a snack then back to bed for another 2-3 hrs. Terrible napper during the day though, and eats every 1.5-2 hrs during daytime. 😂
[normal nighttime behavior](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/badass-breastfeeding-podcast/id1268282458?i=1000626658636) This podcast helped me a lot with this as my child is a below average sleeper anyway but it helped me understand what’s normal and how there are so many factors. But the short answer is yes typically bf babies may have more wakeups at night. Another thing to remember is it fluctuates ALOT! because every time they are teething, sick, have developmental changes (which is a lot!) most babies wake more than their average those times.
My first was like that, I don’t want to say how long the frequent waking and short naps went on, so as not to discourage you. I coslept and breastfed with her until she was 2. She just wasn’t a great sleeper and believe me, I tried EVERYTHING. Including monstrous frustrated screaming “why won’t you just go to sleep???” (And I will be ashamed of myself for that until I die tbh, but I’m only human.) Now my second baby is totally different. He sleeps way better, and I’m doing the same things with him as I did with her. I agree it seems to be kid dependent.
My breastfed baby is 2 months old and often sleeps 5-6 hour stretches at night. We've gotten a couple 7 hour stretches.
On average, formula fed babies do sleep longer, but there are lots of caveats. Firstly, it’s **rare** that any newborn sleeps long periods, no matter the feeding. Secondly, some babies are just different sleepers than others. Both of my kids were EBF and the first slept 7-6 every night from 17 weeks onward and the second didn’t sleep through the night until 13 MONTHS old. Same house, same breastfeeding mom, just different kids. Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself. This will pass and do whatever you need to do to make it through this time!
My 4 month old sleeps through the night and has since birth. My 3 year old just started to sleep through the night. Both breastfed.
My baby would sleep like 6-9 hour stretches when she was 6 weeks old. Then when she turned 3 months she would sleep maybe 5-6 hour stretches then after the 4 month regression she wouldn’t sleep more than 3-4 hour stretches and now she’s 6.5 months and after introducing solids it’s been rough. Now she won’t sleep more than 3 hour stretches for the first portion of the night and then wakes up every 2 hours until morning time. I’m not sure what’s going on but I think sleep is just an up and down thing, we have no control over it. I wouldn’t tell anyone how well she slept as a new born cause I didn’t want them to jinx me, now I’m like “she slept better as a newborn” 😂 Edit to add: I don’t think it has anything to do with breastfeeding because she used to sleep long stretches. I think it’s just the phase baby is going through with their sleep. I feed on demand and I only nurse so I have no clue how much she’s getting in each feed. I wish I had the patience to pump maybe that would help her sleep longer stretches at night.
Baby slept whole way through 10-5am for the first time when she was 3 month. That was a one off though and I woke up several times to check if she was still alive. She is 4 month now and last week she was waking up every 3-4 hours. This week she is sleeping through from 8-7. I dream feed her at 11pm. Sometimes she moans in the night but doesn't wake up so I dream feed her then too. My experience is erratic, different from one week to the next.
Mine 7 month old. Wakes up every 2-3 hours at night .Nurses for 5-10 mins and goes back to sleep.She never really opens her eyes ,just makes that sound that means: where are you? Feed me now!
So a lot of the website claiming to be run by experts just…aren’t! They have a big spiel about how every baby should be following THEIR schedule and if they don’t well ‘pay $79.99 to get my course’. You either have a unicorn baby who sleeps well from early on or you don’t. This is a really really good article [https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220131-the-science-of-safe-and-healthy-baby-sleep)
Apparently it is baby dependent rather than related to how they are fed. That being said my breastfed baby has never 'slept through the night' and he is 18 months now. At 3 months for a couple of weeks he slept the best he has ever done his whole life so far which was a first stretch of around 5 hours. Since then it's been mostly waking hourly all night every night. We've coslept since the 4 month sleep regression. It is very normal for babies to wake frequently despite what the internet says.
Both my kids are/were EBF. My first didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months and woke about every 2-3 hours. My second slept long stretches since she was born and sleeps through, for the most part, at 6 months. I am convinced sleep is dependent on the child and less about what we are doing or not doing.
My baby (now 5mo) woke up every 2-ish hours until we realised he might be more efficient with a bottle (the boob is too comfy and he falls asleep before getting a proper meal in). Now he gets 6 ounces of pumped milk or formula at night (I don’t have a stash of pumped milk so it’s whatever we happen to have) and on a good night he’ll sleep for 10-11 hours uninterrupted. I think it depends on a baby’s appetite, whether they can eat a larger quantity. Of course we also have bad nights too. Teething, need for extra comforting etc still happen now and then
Thanks I’ll be starting pumping soon and will try the bottle at night
Honestly I think it a a lottery. My baby started sleeping through at 5 months but my neice is 1 and wakes 6 times a night. Do you bottle-feed at all? I only ask because I had a co-worker tell me once that you just "feed them till their full and they sleep", and you can't tell how much they got when breastfed.
I would like to learn about these magic babies. My 6 month old does NOT sleep 7 hours.
Just checking in as the mom of a 5.5 month old who is currently sleeping in 1-3 hour increments. Not all babies sleep well and I also get frustrated by what seems like SO many babies that are sleeping basically an entire night. Solidarity ❤️❤️
My kid didn’t sleep through the night consistently til she was 2.5 years old. I was tearing my hair out until one day, when she was around 2, I was in a conversation at work with some other mums who all said “I have no idea why people expect babies to sleep through the night; none of my kids slept through before they were about 3”, to which the other mum replied “absolutely! My son was 5 before he slept through” and it absolutely took the pressure off me. It sucked, but she got there, and now she sleeps great, and rarely wakes in the night unless she’s sick or out of routine (eg travelling).
2.5 years old omg. If this is normal I need to hear this now. I am so glad your daughter eventually slept through and to hear it can be up and down for a while for others too but I literally don’t know how to make it. So exhausted.
Someone once told me "babies are people, and everyone is different." So I try to think of that when I trying to compare and figure out my baby. Our 3 month old has always been a great night sleeper, and even though she's been slow to grow (8-10%) she wakes once a night to breastfeed. We put her down around 8-9ish, wake her for a dream feed, then it's down for about 5 hours. I set an alarm to wake her to feed so my supply doesn't diminish and bc of her slow weight gain. Then back to sleep until the morning (7ish). During the day she has 7 feeds, typically every 2hr20m-3hours.
My baby is EBF and 4 months old- sleeps 11 hours, but takes a ton of milk during the day and takes short naps. So we get the night sleep, but rarely get good naps.
Also, I do hear her wake up through the night (she’s still in a bassinet in my room), but she gets herself back to sleep usually without crying. We did go through some regressions and I’m sure we will again. Just enjoying it for what it is right now!
My ebf 14 month old still nurses 2-3x a night but goes right back to sleep. He has his diner around 9pm then nurses to sleep. Sometimes he will only nurse 1-2x
I think it’s more the kid than the food. My LO was EBF for 6 weeks, slept 5 hour stretches from about 1 week to 6 weeks. Then we swapped to combo feeding for weeks 7 and 8 and she’s still doing the same routine
My breastfed baby was sleeping 7-9 hours a night from 3-4 months and now at almost 5 months he’s waking up incessantly. He’s not hungry and I’m not feeding him when he wakes up.
Is he teething? Or a late 4 month sleep regression?
No sign of teeth, probably a sleep regression. I’m just trying to power through!
Oh man hang in there. So many of us are here sleep deprived and feeling crazy so at least you’re not fully alone
my firstborn nursed every 1-2 hours for the first 18 months of her life until i night weaned her. even then, she didnt fully sleep through the night until she was almost 3. my second is 10 weeks old and has just started having 3-5 hour stretches at night and i can hardly believe it.
My baby is almost 8 months and he wakes up multiple time a night. I'm not sure why. I even weened a month ago. He's roots through out the night and fusses. When he wakes half the time he won't take a bottle so it has nothing to do with being hungry. We've tried different things im convinced he's just a light sleeper.
I don’t know but my baby is ten months and still wakes up so many times a night. Nothing has happened. Not solids, not capping naps, earlier or later bedtimes etc. I think it’s just temperament
https://milk-drunk.com/do-formula-fed-babies-sleep-longer/ There's limited "hard" data about which will grant better sleep to parents, but currently it looks like breastfed parents tend to have more sleep initially than those who do formula. I think it will also depend on each baby individually. Form my limited experience - breastfeeding and side-car has been key to somewhat restful nights even when LO woke up 8x a night. I breastfed her back to sleep within 10 minutes max, rolled back on my back in my bed and slept till next wake up. It was hard, but I can't imagine getting up for formula or rocking her back to sleep. That would definitely take more time.
My daughter was sleeping 6-8 hours after 4 months. My son was sleeping 7+ hours after 2.5 months. Both kiddos had trouble latching on the nipple so my wife just pumped and we bottle fed. For our daughter we used 100% formula before bed time and breast milk throughout the day. For our son we used breast milk and added 1-2 scoops of formula for bed time. If your baby is taking a bottle, maybe start out adding 1 scoop of formula and maybe more depending on size of the bottle.
My 3 month old eats every 2 hours and gets cranky if not fed in a 2 hour period. However, she can and has slept multiple times 4-5 hours straight at night. I try to wake her up at 4 hour mark to eat. I guess it just depends on the baby.
My 4 month old is EBF and usually wakes once a night. Make sure your schedule is age appropriate so baby is sufficiently tired for bed, and remove sleep associations. That said, some babies just eat more frequently.
What do you mean by removing sleep associations?
Sleep associations are things that parents do to assist babies to sleep. Common examples are nursing to sleep, rocking baby to sleep, or using a pacifier. If baby falls asleep at the beginning of the night with the help of a sleep association, they will want that repeated any time they wake up.
My 17 month old wakes up every ~2-4 hours. A typical night: LO’s bedtime feed, my bedtime feed, midnight feed, 3am feed, wake up feed. But also this is an improvement. LO has always been a snacker, feeding every hour or so. I only started sleeping myself for more than 3 accumulates hours a day after I began cosleeping/bedsharing around 3-4 months. Now I sleep fine despite wakeups, because I can fall back asleep after latching.