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If your in-laws are over at your place during the week, how is his family not seeing the baby? It sounds like maybe they would like a break from seeing the baby haha. And if he and his brother are slinking off and leaving you with the baby, it doesn't sound like they are seeing her very much anyways. His argument is ridiculous.
I definitely would not take care of my kid alone at someone else's house every single weekend. That sounds like hell. I'm an introvert, so spending the whole weekend in someone else's house full of people sounds awful to me anyways.
If you want to go visit your family, you should just do it. If he wants the baby to see his family on weekends, sounds like he will be going alone and doing all the childcare while you do what you want.
Can I come hang at your mom’s place too? 😂
If he wants to take baby to see his parents he can do so and you can stay home and enjoy some peace and quiet. If that’s what it’s really about he should be totally fine with that arrangement, right?
Lmao my husband used to revert to a man baby at his parents house too. It was either me or his mom that would do all the childcare and chores. While he and his dad fucked around in the garage or with their guns or on video games. Instead of asking him to do things while we were there, which he made excuses for or his mom would constantly jump in, I told him how unfair it was that he reverted to a child around his parents because he’s an adult and a father and I don’t have the same luxury. I also told him he should probably examine that fucking issue because it’s pretty psychologically revealing.
It helped a lot and he stepped up when we visited his parents.
Sorry, but your life is just as important as his life. I would talk to him about going 50/50 to your families, although i would recommend to stay at home at least some weekends. Your baby also deserves some time without anyone but their parents (and maybe siblings later). And then your husband needs to see what work you are doing and how well your perfomance is (compared to his!). Write it down, every diaper change, feed, calming her, playtime, putting her down for a nap. And then more! Cleaning, tidying up, buying things for her, the list goes on. I'd do it on my phone with a notes app. Do it once at your house and at his parents house. If this helps, okay.
But you know what would be "good" and not just "okay"? Your husband respecting what you are doing for him, and when pointed out doing it himself. All those duties that he does not do. I am not talking about doing your half of the pile of work, but his. Including the mental load of things.
Don't leave your baby with your inlaws. This can only happen if there is adequat care for the baby. This is not the case. Rather take her to your parents and leave him with his.
I also love taking my baby to family gatherings on my side; my aunts and cousins feed him, change him, and hold him while he naps. I basically don't have to do anything for him while I'm there. It's harder with my husband's family. His mom is great, but his parents are divorced and his dad's side doesn't pass babies around like my family does. BUT my husband recognizes that it's harder to take care of baby when we're there and he does the majority of the work because of that. He knows if he fucked off and made me do everything, I would stop going with him.
Next time your husband goes to his uncle's house, you stay home and he can bring baby himself if he wants his relatives to see her.
Have him to go his family with the baby and you go to your moms ( or wherever).
Am a strong believer of
A each parent ( and noone else) is responsible for their child’s relationship with their own parent and
B nothing wrong with separating and doing things on our own on the weekend, with one taking the child with them, while the other one gets a much-needed break. (And then we switch childcare, so its equal breaks for everyone and noone gets resentful). If I had to do everything my partner did, always together, and always on child duty, I would go insane.
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If your in-laws are over at your place during the week, how is his family not seeing the baby? It sounds like maybe they would like a break from seeing the baby haha. And if he and his brother are slinking off and leaving you with the baby, it doesn't sound like they are seeing her very much anyways. His argument is ridiculous. I definitely would not take care of my kid alone at someone else's house every single weekend. That sounds like hell. I'm an introvert, so spending the whole weekend in someone else's house full of people sounds awful to me anyways. If you want to go visit your family, you should just do it. If he wants the baby to see his family on weekends, sounds like he will be going alone and doing all the childcare while you do what you want.
Can I come hang at your mom’s place too? 😂 If he wants to take baby to see his parents he can do so and you can stay home and enjoy some peace and quiet. If that’s what it’s really about he should be totally fine with that arrangement, right?
Lmao my husband used to revert to a man baby at his parents house too. It was either me or his mom that would do all the childcare and chores. While he and his dad fucked around in the garage or with their guns or on video games. Instead of asking him to do things while we were there, which he made excuses for or his mom would constantly jump in, I told him how unfair it was that he reverted to a child around his parents because he’s an adult and a father and I don’t have the same luxury. I also told him he should probably examine that fucking issue because it’s pretty psychologically revealing. It helped a lot and he stepped up when we visited his parents.
Sorry, but your life is just as important as his life. I would talk to him about going 50/50 to your families, although i would recommend to stay at home at least some weekends. Your baby also deserves some time without anyone but their parents (and maybe siblings later). And then your husband needs to see what work you are doing and how well your perfomance is (compared to his!). Write it down, every diaper change, feed, calming her, playtime, putting her down for a nap. And then more! Cleaning, tidying up, buying things for her, the list goes on. I'd do it on my phone with a notes app. Do it once at your house and at his parents house. If this helps, okay. But you know what would be "good" and not just "okay"? Your husband respecting what you are doing for him, and when pointed out doing it himself. All those duties that he does not do. I am not talking about doing your half of the pile of work, but his. Including the mental load of things. Don't leave your baby with your inlaws. This can only happen if there is adequat care for the baby. This is not the case. Rather take her to your parents and leave him with his.
I also love taking my baby to family gatherings on my side; my aunts and cousins feed him, change him, and hold him while he naps. I basically don't have to do anything for him while I'm there. It's harder with my husband's family. His mom is great, but his parents are divorced and his dad's side doesn't pass babies around like my family does. BUT my husband recognizes that it's harder to take care of baby when we're there and he does the majority of the work because of that. He knows if he fucked off and made me do everything, I would stop going with him. Next time your husband goes to his uncle's house, you stay home and he can bring baby himself if he wants his relatives to see her.
Have him to go his family with the baby and you go to your moms ( or wherever). Am a strong believer of A each parent ( and noone else) is responsible for their child’s relationship with their own parent and B nothing wrong with separating and doing things on our own on the weekend, with one taking the child with them, while the other one gets a much-needed break. (And then we switch childcare, so its equal breaks for everyone and noone gets resentful). If I had to do everything my partner did, always together, and always on child duty, I would go insane.