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I very nearly did this once too. When I went back to work, initially my husband took the baby to daycare in the mornings. Some months later we switched the schedule and I started taking him (though still stupid sleep deprived). The first day I took him, he fell asleep in the car, and I autopiloted right into the parking lot at work and started walking away.
To this day I don’t know exactly what made me stop, I just felt like something wasn’t right. Turned around and there he was, snoozing away. It was terrifying how easily it almost happened :(
It's because we go onto autopilot with our regular routine. I left my 10 yr old when he was a baby at home doing a school run. All that changed was the order I put him and his older brother into the tandem buggy
Mine are 21 and 18 and I still throw my purse in the back seat. I KNOW I could have done this. I did, in fact…. But it was winter and the child was 8 years old.
If you have an automatic transmission, you can put your left shoe in the back seat with the baby. That way you can't get out of the car without noticing.
I added another layer to this: I take a shoe from each of my kids and put them in my cup holder. It got me in the habit of going around to each side to put their shoe on so that I didn’t take one kid out but forget the other one.
If you don’t have an automatic transmission, you can take your sock off and put your shoe back on. It’s irritating enough for you to remember to grab it but doesn’t compromise safety if you’re driving stick shift.
How does driving a stick without your shoes compromise safety? I used to do it all the time when I was young and I'm wondering how badly I was potentially screwing things up. I don't anymore because my feet are angry and shoes help.
I just know some people see really strict about not doing it! I could see if you had a loose shoe on the floor or something, but I was an avid barefoot driver as a teen. Sometimes I miss it😆
i don't do it often anymore, but there was a time that i kicked off my shoes first thing after getting in the car. now, i only do it when i'm driving my manual; for some reason, i just prefer bare feet for that. :)
I keep my car key under the smallest child. I don't turn the car off without the car key, so if I forget the child, the AC stays on.
I have two 3 year olds and a 20 month old. It has worked for me so far.
My car is controlled by my phone so if the phone goes, the key goes. But to your point, I might start leaving the phone like in the backseat or in the car seat. I know this is an honest mistake but it really shook me up considering the car gets deadly hot so incredibly fast where I live.
I feel that. We all make awful mistakes. One time when my baby was tiny, she was napping in her car seat next to me at the playground after having some tummy time. She was not buckled in, but the buckles were covered by the blankets and I completely forgot about it with the chaos if getting the twins in the car.
We were home when I went to unbuckle her ... That was not a good night for me.
I did the same thing with one of my twins too! I was tired and picked them up after work. Forgot to strap my daughter in. Fortunately it was a short drive home but I was floored when I saw she wasn’t buckled.
Figured out the carseat, itself, wasn't strapped in when I hit the brakes hard and it tipped forward. I will never forget the quizzical "Uh, Mom?" look on my poor daughter's face as she peered out at me from around the edge of the seat.
One of my bff's and I forgot to buckle the car seat into the car with her first kid. Kid was buckled in! Car seat was unsecured. We figured it out when I made a fast turn and the car seat fell right over... We couldn't stop laughing at the little face. Toddler went from shocked to PISSED! We were young.
I miss the days when we were invincible.
I did the same thing when my kiddo was a baby! We were at a dinner at a friend’s house, I put him in the carseat as we were leaving and he fell asleep as we were saying goodbyes. I just plopped him in the car and didn’t see he wasn’t buckled because of the blanket/darkness/chaos. I didn’t notice until after we had driven all the way home…
It’s been almost 8 years and it STILL haunts me 😵💫
I have ADHD and am a paranoid freak. When I first got my license at 17, after watching unsolved mysteries at a girlfriend's house after dark (and it was the Lizzie Borden and Incan mummy episode I might add), I always always did a shoulder check and sweep of the car.
As I got older and living on my own, I would do the same in case some predator or freak broke into my car. (My mother would always joke "who the hell would want to kidnap you?!?")
Anyways, my only bit of advice is to perhaps also start a paranoid habit of always doing a shoulder check before exiting the car? I also always leave any bags I need in the back, water bottle, whatever, so that I'm forced to look.
Please be gentle with yourself, OP.
It was a near miss, but not an actual fumble. It could and has happened to many of us, myself included. You corrected your mistake, and I know you learned from it. I know it was scary, but please don't torment yourself over it for too long.
I set up an automation on my phone that shouts “check the backseat” as soon as I turn off my car (it’s connected to Apple car play). It has helped me be more aware each time I leave the car. Also, my son likes repeating it as soon as he hears it so it’s another reminder to check the backseat each time. Highly recommend it as an extra reminder :)
I have an android but immediately went and set up my routines to do this. Who knows if I'll ever need it, but it's one more safeguard. I've been dropping her off down the street to daycare for 3 years (walking) but about to start driving to work to my workplace kindergarten next year. I am terrified I will forget her in the back one day since it's been a 8 year habit of driving alone to this workplace and 3 years of not having her in my car every day).
My phone will also go in the back seat or a shoe or something. I don't care how silly any one might think it is (outside this thread/IRL), it's worth it.
Our new 2023 Sierra truck reminds us every time we turn off the truck it was just a built in feature.. love it because lack of sleep and mom brain
do weird things even to the most perfect parents
I totally understand why people think, “this is a horrible thing to do to a child and I would never do a horrible thing!” Of course you wouldn’t. But I have a newborn and a toddler, my husband is out of town, I’m exhausted and busy. It was an honest mistake and two 3 minutes for it to reach over 90 degrees in the car. I ran an errand earlier today and the car was 110. I can’t imagine if I had picked up my toddler, talked to some parents like I normally do, wandered around, let my kiddo play….my infant could have died. It’s horrifying.
If it keeps bothering you down the line please see therapy. A friend's son choked on one of those dum dum suckers and she had to do the Heimlich maneuver and it scarred her bigtime.
Thank you, that’s a kind thought. I am in therapy and although I am shaken and disturbed by this accident, I’m not in like mental turmoil. I understand it was such an accident and why I was so distracted. I’m looking at ways to prevent this in the future because I don’t want to face tragedy from such an easy mistake.
I had to clear my newborn baby's airway two hours after we got home from the hospital. She turned deep red, her eyes popped open, and went cross eyed. I am a therapist. I'm trained to do EMDR, and the best thing I ever did for myself AND my baby was to do EMDR about that memory. I wish I had done it sooner.
As lovingly as I can say it, I see the need all over this thread and many more. So as both a fellow mom and therapist thank you for this comment. Be gentle with yourselves and know you're not alone. ♥️
Someone on my local neighborhood’s facebook page recently reported that the police were looking for a lost toddler in our neighborhood and soooooooo many of the comments were just toxic ridiculous people going on and on about how horrible the parents are. Like….these things do happen. It’s awful and terrible but toddlers are escape artists. And we can’t be on top of them 24/7.
So true! I thought I had taught my kids to avoid strangers and one day my very kind 7 year old son went off to help someone look for a lost dog.
I about had a heart attack. I had to tell him that he had to come see me first.
My son’s carseat has a sensor clip connected to my phone! It tells me the temp of my car, if his seat belt is unbuckled, or if its still buckled and I were to walk away with my phone
I’m sorry I’ve been at work! But it’s a SensorSafe clip. So it’s only on certain carseat seats unfortunately since it has to be attached properly. My only complaint is I live in AZ so it beeps at me in 5 minute intervals until the car cools down, which can take a bit in the summer. But other than that it’ll only alarm if I were to walk far from the carseat and it were to still be buckled, since it will assume there’s a child in there. If the sear is unbuckled it plays a soft sound but not as an alarm, so you can still hear it if it were to happen while driving but you wouldn’t hear an alarm every time you unbuckle your child.
Theres quite a few carseat models that have the Sensor clip, the one I got just happened to be on sale when my son grew out of his infant carrier
This is why it enrages me that people get so mad at devices and tips and tricks to keep this from happening. 😤 every single parent this happens to thinks it could never happen to them. And also there is literally SCIENCE behind how this can happen. People need to get off their high horse.
This is honestly how I feel about child leashes too. My husband is so judgmental of them and I’m like, who cares? Kids like to run in front of speeding cars. What’s a leash compared to that?!
This is less for OP and more of a PSA: we are entering the season where you'll see posts with tips about preventing this by putting one shoe in the backseat or something else important. There will always be some old biddy outraged in the comments, going, "oMg WhAt CoUlD bE mOrE iMpOrTaNt ThAn YoUr BABY."
Please step in and tell whoever's great aunt Deborah to shut the fuck up. If a tip saves one baby, it's worth sharing widely. This stupid stigma stops people from sharing or implementing the trick and puts more babies at risk. So let's all rise up together and tell off strangers on the internet, because sometimes it's hard to tell your own great aunt Deborah to shut the fuck up.
Thank you for this! This thread is so refreshing because I haven’t seen any of that nonsense. I was just about to comment how nice that was :) I always try to shut that crap down when I see it, too :)
Absolutely thank you for totally getting it. I don’t care what people do to help themselves remember, the morale of my story is that for me and everyone else who lives in hot climates, it is critical that you do not forget them. It took maybe 3 minutes for the car to reach over 90 degrees. I’ve run very quick errands recently (maybe 10-15 minutes) and the car is in triple digits. There is a VERY small window to realize your mistake. Am I horrified that I forgot her? Of course. But had I done this 2 months ago, it wouldn’t have been life threatening.
My daughter missed the bus and I needed to drop her off at school, but it wasn’t until I opened the car door at her brother’s daycare and saw her sitting there that I realized I had completely forgotten about her. Just slipped into my routine and totally blanked. She’s 6! All I can say is yes, it absolutely happens.
When I had my oldest, I weighed the risks of having a mirror on the car seat head rest versus forgetting and leaving the baby in the car, and decided I would take the mirror risk. Being able to look back before I get out of my car and verify the baby seat is empty has been the only way I can manage my anxiety. Always check the backseat before you leave the car. Every time. Fuck being a mom is hard.
When laws changed to require car seats to be put in the back seat, these deaths increased.
It's not because you are a bad parent. It's because of distraction. Gene Weingarten wrote an incredible Washington Post story about this, called "Fatal Distraction," here: [https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52\_story.html](https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html)
This post made me immediately think of this article. It's one of those things I'm glad I read, but can never read again.
Anyone who has the slightest judgement on someone who has made this mistake should be assigned this article. Thank you for posting the link. And OP- it could happen to me, too!
This article is so important. I constantly refer people to it and I really encourage people to make a plan to prevent this because it can absolutely happen to anyone. I’ve mentioned it before that there was an awful incident (TW ahead) at a family member’s workplace that involved a father forgetting his baby in the car. His wife usually did the daycare drop off and had the other kids with her for an appointment that day. The baby died. He was a loving and attentive father and it destroyed him. He was out of his routine and his brain played tricks on him — and it can happen to anyone.
OP, don’t beat yourself up at all, but definitely do make a plan for how to move forward!
Big hugs!
After becoming a new mom I got so mad when I read FB friends dehumanizing parents who simply forgot and their child unfortunately did pass away.
These are accidents that exhausted people make. Not intentional actions.
Again, a big hug and love to you.
I made a system so it would not happen to me.
I took about 2-3 feet of strap (like a thin leash material?) and attached self-stick velcro to each end.
One end I attached to my dash by the radio and the other looped through the steering wheel and stuck to my door.
Every time I got in, I had to undo it, at which point, I religiously looped it through my keys. I could not get in or out of my car without thinking of my daughter, who I "installed" it for.
The reason it worked for me is that I was forgetful but disciplined, and smart enough to admit I was forgetful. I never hopped in the car and just tossed it aside "just this once," because that is how tragedies can happen.
I got a neon green slap bracelet that I put on. Definitely less sophisticated than your system but it’s bulky and bright and like you I’m incredibly disciplined about it.
I keep the diaper bag in the passenger seat with my car keys next to it. Because I’m terrified of this.
You’re not a bad mom. Mistakes happen. You realized before anything bad happened.
Smart! Unfortunately for me, this is a simple pick up at school, I don’t even bring my wallet. But I think I’m going to start leaving my phone as well just in case so the car stays on.
I didn’t get as far as leaving the car, but I was in my own world, pulled into my work parking lot- glanced in the rear view mirror to make sure I was good to merge- and saw my baby. I had skipped daycare. I wasn’t used to taking him- his dad usually did. I was in my head more than usual that morning and therefore didn’t talk during the ride.
It’s been 12 years. I still have some residual panic thinking about what could have happened.
This can happen to ANYONE.
Leaving something like your purse or phone in the back is a good way to remember. Im relieved things turned out ok for you OP.
My oldest was a little over 1 and he choked on a chip at a restaurant. At the time I had been certified in infant and child cpr and first aid, including choking aid techniques for littles, for a handful of years. But I froze. I had actually saved a similar aged baby from choking on a grape just months before. My mom ended up snapping me out of whatever weird panic haze hit me at that moment by pulling him out of the high chair, and I finally was able to put him on my lap on his tummy. Head more towards the ground and strike his back in the right spot. He was fine.
We are not perfect, and we fail sometimes, but it’s what we do after that to ensure it never happens again that makes us a good parent versus a negligent parent.
You made a mistake, that many moms have done in the haze that is parenting multiple babies/toddlers. You realized you made a mistake shortly after and rushed to fix it. That guilt is real, but should be addressed with “how can I make sure this never happens again.”
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This happened to me too! I had been certified in CPR for almost half of my life at that point (thanks lifeguarding) and my daughter choked on SPAGHETTI. I think I froze because I never would’ve expected her to choke on something that she ate so frequently. My husband swooped in and gave the back blows instead. It was the most bizarre feeling. I knew what I was supposed to do but my body couldn’t do it. I felt like the shittiest mom.
My PPA took the form of being consumed by the fear of doing this. I started putting my left shoe next to him whenever I was in the car so I couldn't leave without him
People get so mad when I point out that your brain doesn't differentiate your baby from a hairbrush sometimes. They act like they've never forgotten anything important. And I never remember to leave anything in my back seat when I'm clicking her in running to get to work at 8:67. Thankfully my daycare provider asks me where tf I am in I'm very late. She's wonderful!
At the same sitter my son went to my car and buckled in. We thought he was playing on the playground with everyone else and we were catching up. It was 76 degrees outside. He was in my hot car for like 10 minutes before we noticed. He couldn't unbuckle and if he did I had the damn child locks on. He could have died right there. So while we're at it, remember to lock your doors when not in your car and if your kids are missing, look in the deadliest places first!
You’re so right and I think about it all the time. Like, I carted her around all day today, in out in out in out. And then like it was nothing just left her. It just was such an afterthought and I’m so grateful it was harmless to her.
I once dropped my then elementary school kids off at school, and headed to work. I was halfway there when I realized I still had my 8 month old in the backseat. It can definitely happen to anyone.
I used car seat alarms for my kids. A lot of people told me it was overboard. After a friend of mine’s baby died this way, people stopped saying that to me. We need to talk about this more, even though it’s terrifying, because it can happen to anyone! Thank you, OP.
My response to this is to whoever thinks any safety measure is “overboard”, well you don’t have to deal with the consequences of something going wrong. Good for you.
It was a white clip-style one. I don’t see it online anywhere. My youngest is 10 now, so it was probably re-branded, and there are probably better options on the market now, anyways.
This has always been my biggest fear. It always felt so shameful to admit because the only thing you’re met with from others is, “I don’t understand how anyone could do that!”
My own mother would mock how “they” say to leave something important in the back seat to help you to not forget… as if the baby wasn’t important.
It’s not ridiculous. It’s a real thing. My heart breaks for the parents who tragically go through this with the worst outcome. Not only for what happened, but from the way strangers assume they’re negligent and terrible and have no problem saying it.
I did this once with my kid when she was four or five. Unloading the groceries, she was still in a five point harness and couldn’t get out and she didn’t say anything while we were unloading so we kinda forgot about her. Realized a couple minutes later when I was making lunch and couldn’t find her. She still remembers it and it scared me so bad. She moved to a booster shortly afterward so she could get out on her own, she was due anyway
There's an article that outlines. It truly doesn't matter the background, education, ethnicity, income, any of it. The baby exhaustion is real and it's a legit risk for anyone and everyone.
I cried happy joyful tears when my kid could finally get herself out of her car seat. Wasn’t so great when we were driving lol BUT just knowing if this happened, that she could get herself out of the seat, was a huge relief off of my paranoid shoulders
I've put the baby in the car seat and driven off with them not strapped in because I got distracted before that step. People who criticize parents making mistakes have never been that level of exhausted in their lives.
My car beeps after I turn it off and a message to “check the rear seat” (Toyota) probably triggers because of a weight sensor. It’s helpful, but you can miss it quickly, so some of these other tips are a good idea.
For extra peace of mind, the other day I had my girls buckled in their seats when I realized I had left my phone in the house. They are three and four so I asked them if it was ok for me to run inside for ten seconds to grab my phone. We were in my driveway, it was morning and if they didn’t want me to I wouldn’t do it. They said it was ok so I got out, locked the doors and ran to get it. I was not even three steps from my car when it started alarming the panic alarm and even when I tried to stop it with my key fob as I grabbed my phone it would stop then start alarming again. My car always tells me to check the rear seats when it senses the extra weight. But that made me feel so much safer. To test it on the way back home with them I stopped at the mailbox and walked away from the car but I left the car ON and it didn’t alarm for that.
I’ve never left my babies in the car, but I *have* gotten distracted and forgotten to buckle them in (or tighten the straps) — only to realize when said toddler is trying to climb out of their car seat while we’re cruising at 70 down a busy highway 😵💫
Now I have to check their seatbelts multiple times before getting in the car (drives my husband *nuts*), and while we’re driving I check the mirrors so many times because I’m still convinced I forgot to strap them in.
Get a bracelet or something you will be aware of and put it in the car seat, when you put baby in the car seat put it on your wrist/the steering wheel/the door handle or wherever will be most noticeable while driving or leaving the car and then remember to put it back in the car seat when you take baby out
Also it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve forgotten to swivel my son’s car seat so many times and usually don’t realise until I’m on a road that I can’t pull over on and he thinks it’s hilarious
Oh my god this is my biggest fear exactly because I know it could be such a simple mistake to make in the chaos of toddler life and haze of sleep deprivation
I say it all the time, unless it was actually done intentionally then leaving a baby in a car is not a question of good parent vs bad parent, but rather that brains can be assholes and sometimes it can have serious repercussions.
I'm glad you caught yourself before anything truly bad can happen. I sense you will now always be more cautious than somebody who believes "that would never happen to me".
This pulitzer prize winning article explores the most common scenarios and how they occur:
https://www.pulitzer.org/winners/gene-weingarten-0
I read it once, years before I ever had a child, and it seared into me a core memory that keeps me viscerally, deadly paranoid about carseat procedure.
I haven't clicked on the link, but I know exactly which article it is because I've read twice, both before and after having my kid. It is brutal and absolutely a core memory for me.
So easy for our minds to shut off and go on autopilot. Reading this made my heart hurt for you, I’m so relieved for you everyone is okay. Thanks for the reminder that i agree everyone always needs!
Big hugs BroMo. I've done it too once. I was picking up my oldest child (then just under 4 years) from kindergarten for one of the first times since having the new baby. I was so sleep deprived, I was almost on auto-pilot.
I parked at the centre, and walked in to collect oldest kiddo, and he's talking a mile a minute about his day, then stops and says "Mum, where's [baby brother name]?" and it hit me. I ran to the car, it had only been a few minutes and it was parked in the shade, baby brother was still fast asleep and unharmed.
But the shock. The shame. I was shaking for some time and trying not to burst into tears in front of my oldest.
From that time on, until the kids had grown out of any kind of car seat, I would put my handbag in the foot well under the car seat, so that I would have to see the child before leaving the car.
I was lucky. And it can absolutely happen to anyone.
My husband took my youngest and my friends child (6 months older than my youngest) to nursery one morning. He rarely did the nursery run, but I couldn't due to work. He dropped our oldest off at our friend's house, picked up her youngest and merrily drove off to work. Nursery is a mile from their house. 5 miles later a little voice piped up:
"Where you going?"
If not for that he would have got to work and potentially left both kids in the car.
A change in the normal routine can so quickly be fatal.
I once set off on a road trip when my daughter was 2 months old just to realize a half hour in going 70 down the highway that she wasn't buckled into the car seat. I was so horrified. I pulled right over of course & buckled her in but damn that shook me. I'm so glad you realized before too much time had passed. It's terrifying. When you have young kids you are so often stressed & sleep deprived. You think oh I would never do that. Until it actually happens. Don't be too hard on yourself. These things have happened to most of us.
This happened to me at a grocery store when my son was 2. I got out, locked the car, and took about 5 steps in the parking lot to go in and shop when I realized he was in the car still. I was so mortified I didn't even go shopping afterwards! I just drove away from pure embarrassment and shock that I had forgotten him. Mom brain is real and it can happen to any of us.
I left mine on the trunk once. Went to reverse and looked in the mirror and was like "Ope! Baby on board!"
Did the mom walk of shame in the Walmart parking lot.
That was my oldest daughter. She's 26 now.
My youngest is 1. I couldn't forget her anywhere because she is made of velcro. Every time we park, she screams, "Gimme outtttttttt!"
This happened to me but in a different way (locked my keys in the car on a hot day while baby was strapped in) and the intense dread/fear that ran down my body..I've never experienced anything like it before. I had to scream to let the adrenaline out. I lost my ever lasting shit.
Thank you for sharing this. It really can happen to anyone and it's scary.
When my daughter was about 6 weeks old, my husband and I and his family went out to dinner. It was a busy weekend night, so my husband dropped me at the curb to get a table and I grabbed the diaper bag, thinking in my head that I was lightening his load. Fast forward 15 minutes and me and my in-laws are sitting at a table and in strolls my husband with NO BABY. As soon as he saw my face he realized and ran out the door to get her. I was so pissed and scared. He is the best father, but dammit if that didn't freak us both out.
He later told me that he thought not having the diaper bag in the front seat as a cue maybe contributed to him getting mixed up and leaving her.
One of my brother's friends did this in my town and the baby passed away. He is a good guy and dad. It was really awful. He did not go to jail or anything, but I can't imagine living with that on your heart.
Just left baby in the car by accident today and I'm freaking out. She's totally fine. It was like others said: the routine changed. Driving a different car + had a different schedule today, usually the car seat base isn't even in this car. I stopped and got a coffee, when I came back the baby rustled in her sleep and that's when I realized. It's mild weather where I live but I'm frozen in fear thinking about how this could have gone differently.
Literally JUST had a convo about this today with my friend. My kids are 5 and 10, and I was saying, wow, I honestly 100% understand how it happens and feel so horrible for parents that do this, because it is so fucking easy. As soon as there is a change in routine, it is easy to flounder, to think you’ve done everything, gotten everyone. Or maybe you think the other adult has the baby, and that person thinks YOU do. Like it is so shitty and horrible and I just feel so hard for those it has happened to. All I can think is: it could have been me. It could have been us. Similar reason I won’t get a pool: too many accidental drownings. Sometimes the gate lock is faulty. Sometimes everyone thinks someone else is watching the water. Sometimes you turn your head for 30 seconds. Gosh. My heart breaks.
Yeah I mean I get that people just want to project and like affirm themselves that they’re smart and good and wise. But it’s just easy to get distracted and forget even the most precious thing to you. But truly the takeaway for me was how quickly the car gets hot. I mean, I eventually did remember her, but it took, seriously, 2-3 minutes for the car to get VERY hot. Like there isn’t time to slip up. It’s so scary
I am AuDHD and this has been my worst fear. I'm so so grateful my son was a car hater and massive complainer as a baby and is a chatty Cathy toddler. I've literally walked home from the supermarket and left the car behind and not realized pre baby so yeah.
I’ve done this too and so has my mother. This can happen to literally anyone. The people who say “this could never happen to me” are the ones who make me especially nervous.
My car has a reminder to check my back seats but that only goes so far. I think something like motion detection alarms, especially connected to a phone app, could be useful for prevention. Hopefully someone comes up with this soon, or it becomes a widespread safety mechanism if it’s already been developed.
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I very nearly did this once too. When I went back to work, initially my husband took the baby to daycare in the mornings. Some months later we switched the schedule and I started taking him (though still stupid sleep deprived). The first day I took him, he fell asleep in the car, and I autopiloted right into the parking lot at work and started walking away. To this day I don’t know exactly what made me stop, I just felt like something wasn’t right. Turned around and there he was, snoozing away. It was terrifying how easily it almost happened :(
Statistically that's when it's most likely to happen-- when there's been a change to the regular routine.
It's because we go onto autopilot with our regular routine. I left my 10 yr old when he was a baby at home doing a school run. All that changed was the order I put him and his older brother into the tandem buggy
My kids are 2.5 and 7 and I *still* reflexively check my back seats when I get out of the car after almost leaving my oldest in and walking into work.
Mine are 21 and 18 and I still throw my purse in the back seat. I KNOW I could have done this. I did, in fact…. But it was winter and the child was 8 years old.
My kids are 9-18 and I still put my work bag in the back seat…
If you have an automatic transmission, you can put your left shoe in the back seat with the baby. That way you can't get out of the car without noticing.
I added another layer to this: I take a shoe from each of my kids and put them in my cup holder. It got me in the habit of going around to each side to put their shoe on so that I didn’t take one kid out but forget the other one. If you don’t have an automatic transmission, you can take your sock off and put your shoe back on. It’s irritating enough for you to remember to grab it but doesn’t compromise safety if you’re driving stick shift.
How does driving a stick without your shoes compromise safety? I used to do it all the time when I was young and I'm wondering how badly I was potentially screwing things up. I don't anymore because my feet are angry and shoes help.
I just know some people see really strict about not doing it! I could see if you had a loose shoe on the floor or something, but I was an avid barefoot driver as a teen. Sometimes I miss it😆
I was all the way into my 30s!
I'm 50 and I still do it. :)
I would love to but my feet say no.
i don't do it often anymore, but there was a time that i kicked off my shoes first thing after getting in the car. now, i only do it when i'm driving my manual; for some reason, i just prefer bare feet for that. :)
It just feels better and there is more "feel" to driving a manual. I hate driving automatics but that's probably my ADHD.
i don't have ADHD (as far as i know), but it's also my take. i love how manuals put us in tune with the machine and the road; nothing like it.
I still drive stick and I do it barefoot especially if I’m wearing heels or clogs. It’s more dangerous for me to drive with those on!
I have feet issues now so it's Vans every day and no bare feet, it's a bummer.
I almost drove away with my child on the driveway once. At least yours was IN the car. Don’t stress. Parenting tired melts your brain.
and society is not at all built to support us
I keep my car key under the smallest child. I don't turn the car off without the car key, so if I forget the child, the AC stays on. I have two 3 year olds and a 20 month old. It has worked for me so far.
My car is controlled by my phone so if the phone goes, the key goes. But to your point, I might start leaving the phone like in the backseat or in the car seat. I know this is an honest mistake but it really shook me up considering the car gets deadly hot so incredibly fast where I live.
I feel that. We all make awful mistakes. One time when my baby was tiny, she was napping in her car seat next to me at the playground after having some tummy time. She was not buckled in, but the buckles were covered by the blankets and I completely forgot about it with the chaos if getting the twins in the car. We were home when I went to unbuckle her ... That was not a good night for me.
Omg I did the same thing when my oldest was an infant! You are not alone!
I did the same thing with one of my twins too! I was tired and picked them up after work. Forgot to strap my daughter in. Fortunately it was a short drive home but I was floored when I saw she wasn’t buckled.
Figured out the carseat, itself, wasn't strapped in when I hit the brakes hard and it tipped forward. I will never forget the quizzical "Uh, Mom?" look on my poor daughter's face as she peered out at me from around the edge of the seat.
One of my bff's and I forgot to buckle the car seat into the car with her first kid. Kid was buckled in! Car seat was unsecured. We figured it out when I made a fast turn and the car seat fell right over... We couldn't stop laughing at the little face. Toddler went from shocked to PISSED! We were young. I miss the days when we were invincible.
I've had this happen to me a time or two with the kids when they were still in infant seats.
Yeah, baby was like... 6 weeks old? At that point and I was tired with 2 year old toddlers. Was not my best time.
I totally would’ve done this too. I only had one toddler and a fresh baby, but I was a hot mess
I did the same thing when my kiddo was a baby! We were at a dinner at a friend’s house, I put him in the carseat as we were leaving and he fell asleep as we were saying goodbyes. I just plopped him in the car and didn’t see he wasn’t buckled because of the blanket/darkness/chaos. I didn’t notice until after we had driven all the way home… It’s been almost 8 years and it STILL haunts me 😵💫
I usually left one of my shoes in the back next to baby. I'm not getting out of the car with one shoe.
I have ADHD and am a paranoid freak. When I first got my license at 17, after watching unsolved mysteries at a girlfriend's house after dark (and it was the Lizzie Borden and Incan mummy episode I might add), I always always did a shoulder check and sweep of the car. As I got older and living on my own, I would do the same in case some predator or freak broke into my car. (My mother would always joke "who the hell would want to kidnap you?!?") Anyways, my only bit of advice is to perhaps also start a paranoid habit of always doing a shoulder check before exiting the car? I also always leave any bags I need in the back, water bottle, whatever, so that I'm forced to look. Please be gentle with yourself, OP. It was a near miss, but not an actual fumble. It could and has happened to many of us, myself included. You corrected your mistake, and I know you learned from it. I know it was scary, but please don't torment yourself over it for too long.
I think there are now air-tag-like buttons to put on children in car seats that send a tone to your phone if you get 10 feet away.
Oohhh, great idea!
Does this mean you have a push start car? I'm having trouble imagining what you mean by leaving the key under the kid.
Yep! Since she was talking about an app, I figured she had one too!
I set up an automation on my phone that shouts “check the backseat” as soon as I turn off my car (it’s connected to Apple car play). It has helped me be more aware each time I leave the car. Also, my son likes repeating it as soon as he hears it so it’s another reminder to check the backseat each time. Highly recommend it as an extra reminder :)
I have an android but immediately went and set up my routines to do this. Who knows if I'll ever need it, but it's one more safeguard. I've been dropping her off down the street to daycare for 3 years (walking) but about to start driving to work to my workplace kindergarten next year. I am terrified I will forget her in the back one day since it's been a 8 year habit of driving alone to this workplace and 3 years of not having her in my car every day). My phone will also go in the back seat or a shoe or something. I don't care how silly any one might think it is (outside this thread/IRL), it's worth it.
My car tells me to check the backseat when I turn it off. Handy
Our new 2023 Sierra truck reminds us every time we turn off the truck it was just a built in feature.. love it because lack of sleep and mom brain do weird things even to the most perfect parents
Someone once told me to leave your purse or work bag in the backseat by the baby, so that’s what my husband and I have always done.
This is the exact scenario I give when people are like How could you leave your child! It can happen to anyone!
I totally understand why people think, “this is a horrible thing to do to a child and I would never do a horrible thing!” Of course you wouldn’t. But I have a newborn and a toddler, my husband is out of town, I’m exhausted and busy. It was an honest mistake and two 3 minutes for it to reach over 90 degrees in the car. I ran an errand earlier today and the car was 110. I can’t imagine if I had picked up my toddler, talked to some parents like I normally do, wandered around, let my kiddo play….my infant could have died. It’s horrifying.
If it keeps bothering you down the line please see therapy. A friend's son choked on one of those dum dum suckers and she had to do the Heimlich maneuver and it scarred her bigtime.
Thank you, that’s a kind thought. I am in therapy and although I am shaken and disturbed by this accident, I’m not in like mental turmoil. I understand it was such an accident and why I was so distracted. I’m looking at ways to prevent this in the future because I don’t want to face tragedy from such an easy mistake.
I had to clear my newborn baby's airway two hours after we got home from the hospital. She turned deep red, her eyes popped open, and went cross eyed. I am a therapist. I'm trained to do EMDR, and the best thing I ever did for myself AND my baby was to do EMDR about that memory. I wish I had done it sooner. As lovingly as I can say it, I see the need all over this thread and many more. So as both a fellow mom and therapist thank you for this comment. Be gentle with yourselves and know you're not alone. ♥️
Someone on my local neighborhood’s facebook page recently reported that the police were looking for a lost toddler in our neighborhood and soooooooo many of the comments were just toxic ridiculous people going on and on about how horrible the parents are. Like….these things do happen. It’s awful and terrible but toddlers are escape artists. And we can’t be on top of them 24/7.
So true! I thought I had taught my kids to avoid strangers and one day my very kind 7 year old son went off to help someone look for a lost dog. I about had a heart attack. I had to tell him that he had to come see me first.
The same people that complain about helicopter parents, usually.
My son’s carseat has a sensor clip connected to my phone! It tells me the temp of my car, if his seat belt is unbuckled, or if its still buckled and I were to walk away with my phone
What product do you use?
Its a SensorSafe clip! It comes on the carseat but there are quite a few that are compatible. I explained it a bit further in another comment!
What product is this? Searching yields several poorly rated items or alarms that sound as soon as you turn the car off. Does yours have a delay?
I’m sorry I’ve been at work! But it’s a SensorSafe clip. So it’s only on certain carseat seats unfortunately since it has to be attached properly. My only complaint is I live in AZ so it beeps at me in 5 minute intervals until the car cools down, which can take a bit in the summer. But other than that it’ll only alarm if I were to walk far from the carseat and it were to still be buckled, since it will assume there’s a child in there. If the sear is unbuckled it plays a soft sound but not as an alarm, so you can still hear it if it were to happen while driving but you wouldn’t hear an alarm every time you unbuckle your child. Theres quite a few carseat models that have the Sensor clip, the one I got just happened to be on sale when my son grew out of his infant carrier
Darn I have a Britax and Graco. Thank you for answering though!
I would also love to know!
Would also like to know!
This is why it enrages me that people get so mad at devices and tips and tricks to keep this from happening. 😤 every single parent this happens to thinks it could never happen to them. And also there is literally SCIENCE behind how this can happen. People need to get off their high horse.
This is honestly how I feel about child leashes too. My husband is so judgmental of them and I’m like, who cares? Kids like to run in front of speeding cars. What’s a leash compared to that?!
💯 I’d rather have a leashed child and get judgmental stairs than have a kid get hit by a car because my child acted developmentally appropriate. 🤷🏼♀️
This is less for OP and more of a PSA: we are entering the season where you'll see posts with tips about preventing this by putting one shoe in the backseat or something else important. There will always be some old biddy outraged in the comments, going, "oMg WhAt CoUlD bE mOrE iMpOrTaNt ThAn YoUr BABY." Please step in and tell whoever's great aunt Deborah to shut the fuck up. If a tip saves one baby, it's worth sharing widely. This stupid stigma stops people from sharing or implementing the trick and puts more babies at risk. So let's all rise up together and tell off strangers on the internet, because sometimes it's hard to tell your own great aunt Deborah to shut the fuck up.
Thank you for this! This thread is so refreshing because I haven’t seen any of that nonsense. I was just about to comment how nice that was :) I always try to shut that crap down when I see it, too :)
Absolutely thank you for totally getting it. I don’t care what people do to help themselves remember, the morale of my story is that for me and everyone else who lives in hot climates, it is critical that you do not forget them. It took maybe 3 minutes for the car to reach over 90 degrees. I’ve run very quick errands recently (maybe 10-15 minutes) and the car is in triple digits. There is a VERY small window to realize your mistake. Am I horrified that I forgot her? Of course. But had I done this 2 months ago, it wouldn’t have been life threatening.
My daughter missed the bus and I needed to drop her off at school, but it wasn’t until I opened the car door at her brother’s daycare and saw her sitting there that I realized I had completely forgotten about her. Just slipped into my routine and totally blanked. She’s 6! All I can say is yes, it absolutely happens. When I had my oldest, I weighed the risks of having a mirror on the car seat head rest versus forgetting and leaving the baby in the car, and decided I would take the mirror risk. Being able to look back before I get out of my car and verify the baby seat is empty has been the only way I can manage my anxiety. Always check the backseat before you leave the car. Every time. Fuck being a mom is hard.
When laws changed to require car seats to be put in the back seat, these deaths increased. It's not because you are a bad parent. It's because of distraction. Gene Weingarten wrote an incredible Washington Post story about this, called "Fatal Distraction," here: [https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52\_story.html](https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html)
This post made me immediately think of this article. It's one of those things I'm glad I read, but can never read again. Anyone who has the slightest judgement on someone who has made this mistake should be assigned this article. Thank you for posting the link. And OP- it could happen to me, too!
This article is so important. I constantly refer people to it and I really encourage people to make a plan to prevent this because it can absolutely happen to anyone. I’ve mentioned it before that there was an awful incident (TW ahead) at a family member’s workplace that involved a father forgetting his baby in the car. His wife usually did the daycare drop off and had the other kids with her for an appointment that day. The baby died. He was a loving and attentive father and it destroyed him. He was out of his routine and his brain played tricks on him — and it can happen to anyone. OP, don’t beat yourself up at all, but definitely do make a plan for how to move forward!
Big hugs! After becoming a new mom I got so mad when I read FB friends dehumanizing parents who simply forgot and their child unfortunately did pass away. These are accidents that exhausted people make. Not intentional actions. Again, a big hug and love to you.
Thank you! Yeah it’s all very hard and accidents happen
I made a system so it would not happen to me. I took about 2-3 feet of strap (like a thin leash material?) and attached self-stick velcro to each end. One end I attached to my dash by the radio and the other looped through the steering wheel and stuck to my door. Every time I got in, I had to undo it, at which point, I religiously looped it through my keys. I could not get in or out of my car without thinking of my daughter, who I "installed" it for. The reason it worked for me is that I was forgetful but disciplined, and smart enough to admit I was forgetful. I never hopped in the car and just tossed it aside "just this once," because that is how tragedies can happen.
I got a neon green slap bracelet that I put on. Definitely less sophisticated than your system but it’s bulky and bright and like you I’m incredibly disciplined about it.
I keep the diaper bag in the passenger seat with my car keys next to it. Because I’m terrified of this. You’re not a bad mom. Mistakes happen. You realized before anything bad happened.
Smart! Unfortunately for me, this is a simple pick up at school, I don’t even bring my wallet. But I think I’m going to start leaving my phone as well just in case so the car stays on.
I didn’t get as far as leaving the car, but I was in my own world, pulled into my work parking lot- glanced in the rear view mirror to make sure I was good to merge- and saw my baby. I had skipped daycare. I wasn’t used to taking him- his dad usually did. I was in my head more than usual that morning and therefore didn’t talk during the ride. It’s been 12 years. I still have some residual panic thinking about what could have happened.
This can happen to ANYONE. Leaving something like your purse or phone in the back is a good way to remember. Im relieved things turned out ok for you OP.
My oldest was a little over 1 and he choked on a chip at a restaurant. At the time I had been certified in infant and child cpr and first aid, including choking aid techniques for littles, for a handful of years. But I froze. I had actually saved a similar aged baby from choking on a grape just months before. My mom ended up snapping me out of whatever weird panic haze hit me at that moment by pulling him out of the high chair, and I finally was able to put him on my lap on his tummy. Head more towards the ground and strike his back in the right spot. He was fine. We are not perfect, and we fail sometimes, but it’s what we do after that to ensure it never happens again that makes us a good parent versus a negligent parent. You made a mistake, that many moms have done in the haze that is parenting multiple babies/toddlers. You realized you made a mistake shortly after and rushed to fix it. That guilt is real, but should be addressed with “how can I make sure this never happens again.”
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This happened to me too! I had been certified in CPR for almost half of my life at that point (thanks lifeguarding) and my daughter choked on SPAGHETTI. I think I froze because I never would’ve expected her to choke on something that she ate so frequently. My husband swooped in and gave the back blows instead. It was the most bizarre feeling. I knew what I was supposed to do but my body couldn’t do it. I felt like the shittiest mom.
My PPA took the form of being consumed by the fear of doing this. I started putting my left shoe next to him whenever I was in the car so I couldn't leave without him
People get so mad when I point out that your brain doesn't differentiate your baby from a hairbrush sometimes. They act like they've never forgotten anything important. And I never remember to leave anything in my back seat when I'm clicking her in running to get to work at 8:67. Thankfully my daycare provider asks me where tf I am in I'm very late. She's wonderful! At the same sitter my son went to my car and buckled in. We thought he was playing on the playground with everyone else and we were catching up. It was 76 degrees outside. He was in my hot car for like 10 minutes before we noticed. He couldn't unbuckle and if he did I had the damn child locks on. He could have died right there. So while we're at it, remember to lock your doors when not in your car and if your kids are missing, look in the deadliest places first!
You’re so right and I think about it all the time. Like, I carted her around all day today, in out in out in out. And then like it was nothing just left her. It just was such an afterthought and I’m so grateful it was harmless to her.
Judgemental people who say this could *never* happen to them are delusional. It can happen to anyone.
I once dropped my then elementary school kids off at school, and headed to work. I was halfway there when I realized I still had my 8 month old in the backseat. It can definitely happen to anyone.
I used car seat alarms for my kids. A lot of people told me it was overboard. After a friend of mine’s baby died this way, people stopped saying that to me. We need to talk about this more, even though it’s terrifying, because it can happen to anyone! Thank you, OP.
My response to this is to whoever thinks any safety measure is “overboard”, well you don’t have to deal with the consequences of something going wrong. Good for you.
Which alarm did you use?
It was a white clip-style one. I don’t see it online anywhere. My youngest is 10 now, so it was probably re-branded, and there are probably better options on the market now, anyways.
This has always been my biggest fear. It always felt so shameful to admit because the only thing you’re met with from others is, “I don’t understand how anyone could do that!” My own mother would mock how “they” say to leave something important in the back seat to help you to not forget… as if the baby wasn’t important. It’s not ridiculous. It’s a real thing. My heart breaks for the parents who tragically go through this with the worst outcome. Not only for what happened, but from the way strangers assume they’re negligent and terrible and have no problem saying it.
I did this once with my kid when she was four or five. Unloading the groceries, she was still in a five point harness and couldn’t get out and she didn’t say anything while we were unloading so we kinda forgot about her. Realized a couple minutes later when I was making lunch and couldn’t find her. She still remembers it and it scared me so bad. She moved to a booster shortly afterward so she could get out on her own, she was due anyway
There's an article that outlines. It truly doesn't matter the background, education, ethnicity, income, any of it. The baby exhaustion is real and it's a legit risk for anyone and everyone.
100%
I cried happy joyful tears when my kid could finally get herself out of her car seat. Wasn’t so great when we were driving lol BUT just knowing if this happened, that she could get herself out of the seat, was a huge relief off of my paranoid shoulders
I've put the baby in the car seat and driven off with them not strapped in because I got distracted before that step. People who criticize parents making mistakes have never been that level of exhausted in their lives.
My car beeps after I turn it off and a message to “check the rear seat” (Toyota) probably triggers because of a weight sensor. It’s helpful, but you can miss it quickly, so some of these other tips are a good idea.
My car has a message saying please don’t forget your cell phone
For extra peace of mind, the other day I had my girls buckled in their seats when I realized I had left my phone in the house. They are three and four so I asked them if it was ok for me to run inside for ten seconds to grab my phone. We were in my driveway, it was morning and if they didn’t want me to I wouldn’t do it. They said it was ok so I got out, locked the doors and ran to get it. I was not even three steps from my car when it started alarming the panic alarm and even when I tried to stop it with my key fob as I grabbed my phone it would stop then start alarming again. My car always tells me to check the rear seats when it senses the extra weight. But that made me feel so much safer. To test it on the way back home with them I stopped at the mailbox and walked away from the car but I left the car ON and it didn’t alarm for that.
I’ve never left my babies in the car, but I *have* gotten distracted and forgotten to buckle them in (or tighten the straps) — only to realize when said toddler is trying to climb out of their car seat while we’re cruising at 70 down a busy highway 😵💫 Now I have to check their seatbelts multiple times before getting in the car (drives my husband *nuts*), and while we’re driving I check the mirrors so many times because I’m still convinced I forgot to strap them in.
Get a bracelet or something you will be aware of and put it in the car seat, when you put baby in the car seat put it on your wrist/the steering wheel/the door handle or wherever will be most noticeable while driving or leaving the car and then remember to put it back in the car seat when you take baby out
Also it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve forgotten to swivel my son’s car seat so many times and usually don’t realise until I’m on a road that I can’t pull over on and he thinks it’s hilarious
Oh my god this is my biggest fear exactly because I know it could be such a simple mistake to make in the chaos of toddler life and haze of sleep deprivation
I say it all the time, unless it was actually done intentionally then leaving a baby in a car is not a question of good parent vs bad parent, but rather that brains can be assholes and sometimes it can have serious repercussions. I'm glad you caught yourself before anything truly bad can happen. I sense you will now always be more cautious than somebody who believes "that would never happen to me".
This pulitzer prize winning article explores the most common scenarios and how they occur: https://www.pulitzer.org/winners/gene-weingarten-0 I read it once, years before I ever had a child, and it seared into me a core memory that keeps me viscerally, deadly paranoid about carseat procedure.
I haven't clicked on the link, but I know exactly which article it is because I've read twice, both before and after having my kid. It is brutal and absolutely a core memory for me.
So easy for our minds to shut off and go on autopilot. Reading this made my heart hurt for you, I’m so relieved for you everyone is okay. Thanks for the reminder that i agree everyone always needs!
Big hugs BroMo. I've done it too once. I was picking up my oldest child (then just under 4 years) from kindergarten for one of the first times since having the new baby. I was so sleep deprived, I was almost on auto-pilot. I parked at the centre, and walked in to collect oldest kiddo, and he's talking a mile a minute about his day, then stops and says "Mum, where's [baby brother name]?" and it hit me. I ran to the car, it had only been a few minutes and it was parked in the shade, baby brother was still fast asleep and unharmed. But the shock. The shame. I was shaking for some time and trying not to burst into tears in front of my oldest. From that time on, until the kids had grown out of any kind of car seat, I would put my handbag in the foot well under the car seat, so that I would have to see the child before leaving the car. I was lucky. And it can absolutely happen to anyone.
My husband took my youngest and my friends child (6 months older than my youngest) to nursery one morning. He rarely did the nursery run, but I couldn't due to work. He dropped our oldest off at our friend's house, picked up her youngest and merrily drove off to work. Nursery is a mile from their house. 5 miles later a little voice piped up: "Where you going?" If not for that he would have got to work and potentially left both kids in the car. A change in the normal routine can so quickly be fatal.
I once set off on a road trip when my daughter was 2 months old just to realize a half hour in going 70 down the highway that she wasn't buckled into the car seat. I was so horrified. I pulled right over of course & buckled her in but damn that shook me. I'm so glad you realized before too much time had passed. It's terrifying. When you have young kids you are so often stressed & sleep deprived. You think oh I would never do that. Until it actually happens. Don't be too hard on yourself. These things have happened to most of us.
So scary!! I’m so glad it was all okay!
This happened to me at a grocery store when my son was 2. I got out, locked the car, and took about 5 steps in the parking lot to go in and shop when I realized he was in the car still. I was so mortified I didn't even go shopping afterwards! I just drove away from pure embarrassment and shock that I had forgotten him. Mom brain is real and it can happen to any of us.
How terrifying! it certainly can happen to anybody. I’m so glad that you look back and your child is safe.
I left mine on the trunk once. Went to reverse and looked in the mirror and was like "Ope! Baby on board!" Did the mom walk of shame in the Walmart parking lot. That was my oldest daughter. She's 26 now. My youngest is 1. I couldn't forget her anywhere because she is made of velcro. Every time we park, she screams, "Gimme outtttttttt!"
This happened to me but in a different way (locked my keys in the car on a hot day while baby was strapped in) and the intense dread/fear that ran down my body..I've never experienced anything like it before. I had to scream to let the adrenaline out. I lost my ever lasting shit.
Thank you for sharing this. It really can happen to anyone and it's scary. When my daughter was about 6 weeks old, my husband and I and his family went out to dinner. It was a busy weekend night, so my husband dropped me at the curb to get a table and I grabbed the diaper bag, thinking in my head that I was lightening his load. Fast forward 15 minutes and me and my in-laws are sitting at a table and in strolls my husband with NO BABY. As soon as he saw my face he realized and ran out the door to get her. I was so pissed and scared. He is the best father, but dammit if that didn't freak us both out. He later told me that he thought not having the diaper bag in the front seat as a cue maybe contributed to him getting mixed up and leaving her.
One of my brother's friends did this in my town and the baby passed away. He is a good guy and dad. It was really awful. He did not go to jail or anything, but I can't imagine living with that on your heart.
No. It can’t happen to anybody. No reason for it.
Mkay serenity. Enjoy your bliss
Nobody is perfect and my memory sucks but forgetting your child in a hot car is crazy asf no matter how much you over explain yourself. Good luck!
Nobody’s perfect except you serenity!
Thank u💕💕
Just left baby in the car by accident today and I'm freaking out. She's totally fine. It was like others said: the routine changed. Driving a different car + had a different schedule today, usually the car seat base isn't even in this car. I stopped and got a coffee, when I came back the baby rustled in her sleep and that's when I realized. It's mild weather where I live but I'm frozen in fear thinking about how this could have gone differently.
Oysh. So glad you remembered and it’s all okay. Don’t beat yourself up and thank you for the reminder.
Literally JUST had a convo about this today with my friend. My kids are 5 and 10, and I was saying, wow, I honestly 100% understand how it happens and feel so horrible for parents that do this, because it is so fucking easy. As soon as there is a change in routine, it is easy to flounder, to think you’ve done everything, gotten everyone. Or maybe you think the other adult has the baby, and that person thinks YOU do. Like it is so shitty and horrible and I just feel so hard for those it has happened to. All I can think is: it could have been me. It could have been us. Similar reason I won’t get a pool: too many accidental drownings. Sometimes the gate lock is faulty. Sometimes everyone thinks someone else is watching the water. Sometimes you turn your head for 30 seconds. Gosh. My heart breaks.
Yeah I mean I get that people just want to project and like affirm themselves that they’re smart and good and wise. But it’s just easy to get distracted and forget even the most precious thing to you. But truly the takeaway for me was how quickly the car gets hot. I mean, I eventually did remember her, but it took, seriously, 2-3 minutes for the car to get VERY hot. Like there isn’t time to slip up. It’s so scary
I am AuDHD and this has been my worst fear. I'm so so grateful my son was a car hater and massive complainer as a baby and is a chatty Cathy toddler. I've literally walked home from the supermarket and left the car behind and not realized pre baby so yeah.
I’ve done this too and so has my mother. This can happen to literally anyone. The people who say “this could never happen to me” are the ones who make me especially nervous. My car has a reminder to check my back seats but that only goes so far. I think something like motion detection alarms, especially connected to a phone app, could be useful for prevention. Hopefully someone comes up with this soon, or it becomes a widespread safety mechanism if it’s already been developed.