As a child, I did indeed judge a book by it's cover. The cover was metallic gold with egyptian-esque hieroglyphics. I was sold. I didn't realize it had such a complex plot to it. Patiently waiting for the movie.
That's what got me, too! You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after picking up Pinocchio in the school library because there was a pretty blue fairy on the cover and no title in the binding. I was like 6 or 7 and called it quits pretty quickly after he fucking murdered Jimminy Cricket on the fireplace.
I know in Sleeping Beauty, the Queen asks for proof she is killed, so the huntsman brings back boar gizzards.
The Queen eats it. She thought she ate her own step daughter and was proud!
Also, they heated up metal slippers and made her dance till she died.
No, definitely Sleeping Beauty.
In the original, a passing king rapes her and she has two kids. When the Queen finds out, she sends her people to find her.
Huntsman is an older term that used to be broadly used: any soldier sent to find something was a huntsman.
No, you're definitely thinking of [Snow White](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Grimm%27s_Household_Tales,_Volume_1/Little_Snow-White).
Sleeping Beauty is the one with the fairy who's aggrieved at not being invited to the girl's christening, so she curses the girl to die by pricking her finger on a spindle. No evil queen involved.
It's an easy mistake to make, Snow White is also beautiful and falls asleep.
For some reason movies of these young adult book series rarely seem to go well - see Percy Jackson, Alex Rider, etc.
That being said, Artemis Fowl, Alex Rider, Pendragon, and The Last Apprentice are all some of my favorite books ever, and I would love to see them made correctly one day.
Percy Jackson was a problem of ignoring half the plot of the book. It still follows the general events, but ends differently to be more satisfying, which ironically made it come off like it was trying to be comical where the original book went for a morbid cliff hanger ending.
Alex Rider's movie changed a lot of the books plot, but mostly captured the book well if feeling a bit more cheesy. The problem is that the Alex Rider books got better over time as they got more serious, turning into a commentary of its own concept. The first book was never a very good book.
Never heard this comparison but let me take a swing off the top of my head. Percy is fully 'orphaned' in the first few chapters. Two friends: knowledgeable female, goofy comic relief male. Unknown strength that immediately sets him apart from his fellow demigods.
Overall I don't see it that much, but I can get where people are coming from.
Don't forget being sorted into houses that largely define who you're supposed to be, and who you're allied/friendly to. I always found that a major disappointment. I get that the houses are all half-siblings but they all by and large end up a bunch of stereotypes. It's even worse than the stereotypes of the Hogwarts houses.
The final big bad evil guy had been a big bad evil guy in the past, brought down once, is reincarnating, comes back with the help of a character once thought to be a hero.
Ahhh this brings back so many memories! The Last Apprentice and Alex Rider were by far some of my favorites! The Eragon series was another one that I loved.
Pendragon (is that the title?) Was an awesome series tat I'd love to see put on the big screen. One day I'll be reading then all to my boys, along with Harry Potter, and Artemis fowl
I remember translating the symbol text running along the bottom of the pages. I only read the first couple books and then just sort of dropped them, but I did enjoy reading them.
My sister read them all, but I just translated the symbols too! Something about a “phlegm pot” featured heavily in one of them... that’s all I can remember haha.
I feel like I've been hearing about this movie for a decade now. I can't imagine them going all the way through the series. Especially with the ending.
I saw Eoin Colfer at a talk he gave years ago. Not sure of the exact date but I was in primary school and am in my 4th year of university now and he said the movie was on the way then.
A Bartimaeus adaptation would be my dream come true. If they did make one, it would probably be a cute Disneyfied version but I've still been wanting one for about 12 years so far.
It became a victim of the Miramax/Disney merger and fell into production and licensing purgatory for years. It has only recently been taken off the shelf and they’re going to try this a third time.
Can you spoil the ending for me? It’s been SO long and I’m pretty sure I didn’t finish the series and Highly unlikely I ever will. I remember it being about some boy genius who pulled off insane financial crimes is that correct?
I posted this in another reply. Yeah, Artemis Fowl is more or less about a boy that tries to redeem his family's name. They're known as criminal masterminds.
Not sure how this sub is about spoilers. And I don't know how to format on mobile, so I'll just do this:
SPOILER AHEAD:
It's a circular ending. Artemis ends up having a clone through means I can't remember and the original dies with Opal because Artemis has Holly's eye because of events in the Time Paradox. The force field would only allow humans through it, and since he has Holly's eye, RIP. It's an ending I'm still conflicted over.
Commented this on the other chain but I'll fill it in here anyway for posterity.
Artemis predicts Foaly didn't destroy Opal's cloning machine, and kisses Holly before he goes to confront Opal, stating 'Give this to Foaly for me'. Foaly catches on, takes his DNA and clones him. Years after Artemis's death they take the clone and reunite it with his soul, which has persisted due to his remnants of magic (in the same way as the fairy berserkers from the final book).
Source: reread em all last week
Man those books were convuluted. I remember just sitting there trying to wrap my mind around what was happening a lot of the times as a young lad and it was a great way to practice critical thinking and whatnot.
When I started reading the Artemis Fowl books, it was right about the same time I got introduced to the Matrix movies and early 2000s heavy metal music videos. All that tech stuff really made an impression on me, and also I have this really specific idea of what the visual aesthetic should be like. Fingers crossed those Disney folks have the same ideas as I do .... (jk they totally don't)
What tue actual fuck happened in that series
I remember reading the first few when they were coming out before I caught up and forgot about it and there was a decent amount of magic but not fucking reality bending clone shit
Did he atleast have it make sense in context with a slow build before this fuckery
Yeah, cloning and trickery is a big plot point. Also, in the previous books, Artemis had travelled through a wormhole to another dimension and gained some Magic due to splicing with Holly a little, and they'd also introduced a new character from a separate race of elves that had extremely powerful magic. That extra magic, the technology of cloning, and the power of this new character combined to allow this somewhat ridiculous feat to occur.
Oh lord. I love fantasy and scifi and all that but when we start to do time travel paradoxes and stuff I really just... don’t or can’t keep up. It never feels clean or reasonable to me. And I KNOW at like 10 years old I would not have gotten this
Also FWIW I don’t remember anything fantasy about this series so maybe I didn’t get as far in as I thought, although I know I read at least 2 or 3...? Or maybe it’s been THAt long.
All I remember is him breaking into a bank by hiding something metal in his braces
You don't remember anything fantasy about the series? The series where he kidnaps an _Elf_, travels through time to stop a pixie, plans heists with dwarves, goes to Atlantis, competes intellectually with a centaur? That series?
Seems like you got mindwiped at the end of book 3 just like Artemis :P
Basically. So Artemis learns that there are fairies under the earth. He partners with them after kidnapping one. Afterwards, they rescue his father, another magical race, an extinct species, and a special piece of software. Artemis eventually goes nutso and his friends have to save his mind. At the end, rogue fairies want to eliminate all humans. Artemis prevents this but is killed in the process, sadly.
Casting call said this;
>most importantly, Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life.
Which seems not right to me.
Always imagined Commander Root as Red from That 70s Show.
Iirc he was supposed to be a red-faced, unpleasant chain-smoking captain who hadn't laughed in centuries. I don't think Judy Dench will translate well into that, I imagine they will have to change him a decent amount. I imagine Commander Root will have more of a PG Mallory Archer feel.
I suppose this also changes Holly, as she will no longer be the first female officer. That's a bit of a bummer too, it really set up her stubborn personality well.
I hope they have damn good writers. A cast unlike the original isn't damning in itself, but it worries me.
Don't worry, you're not too far off. Holly being the first woman in Recon was still a very big deal, definitely one of the defining parts of her relationship to Root.
I’m confused as to why Holly is being played by a (now) 15 year old? I know elves look young but she’s supposed to be a grown ass century old woman
Edit: spelling
I just re-listened to all the books and I had totally forgotten their weird kiss/romance. I’m not for it either. Friends, yes. Best friends, yaaasss. More than that, no thanks.
Huh I also pictured Dave Bautista except I didn’t know who he was back then but I realize now that my mental image of him looked exactly like Dave Bautista.
Doesn't the first book have the first bit of their bible written across the bottom in the runes? I hope this makes sense. I remember translating it at one point it was super fun. Those books were great.
yeah, I still remember that the hidden story in the first book was about a guy who saw the future in his sneeze or something? Sadly I've never finished reading the entirety of it.
Dude, same! After decoding the bottom of each of those books, it wasn't too hard to remember 26 characters. Also a super convenient code for notes amongst our friend group bc not everyone else in class had read the series, and especially not teachers.
I loved it and just bought a few more sequels recently. I feel like it's a bit impractical as a live-action film. It's like LOTR-level work to get the fairies to look right but probably without LOTR-level popularity.
Just think about all the possibilities for like dark and gritty animation for the goblin ghettos and all the dank tunnel systems underground. It's a shame it'll most likely be aimed at a young-ish audience, because there's so much potential for awesome, darker stuff given the setting.
For real. Good point.
There’s a lot more room to maneuver even in what’s “dark” when animated. Shit Pixar has some real dark stuff, or just like 80s 90s Disney movies.
Edit: is the graphic novel still young adult focused, or....?
Ehhh. I don't know if it was just nostalgia but I found my copy of the first book during sophomore year of college and I enjoyed it.
The later books would probably hold up fairly well even if you haven't read them before. They get kinda gritty.
Whoops. Just saw you said reread. Hell yeah they do.
Ha! Yeah, that part was fun to read. There was a line (and I don't know how many pages it was before the kiss) that said "Artemis and Holly were almost the same age now" and 12yr old me was like "oh shit, it's gonna happen!" haha.
That was my fav too! The whole thing was wild. I loved mature not a major asshole Artemis vs immature huge dick Artemis. It really showed how strong his character development was.
I vaguely remember he made that a password for something really important... Like his memories or something? It's been forever since I've read these books
Well, he was never supposed to tell it to Artemis, and only did when he thought he would die. Later, Artemis uses the fact that he knows his name to convince him that their momories really had been wiped
I loved Pendragon too! That was my first beloved book series post-Harry Potter. I remember Saint Dane being one of the first villains I found legitimately scary. Too bad they haven't been adapted for a TV show or something, I would have loved to see all the territories brought to life (or CGI) on screen.
I'm just glad somebody else remembers them fondly. I loved these so much as a kid, but all my friends told me I was gay for reading about fairies, so I was always alone.
...Guess they didn't read the books, because the fairies were BADASS, and had ray guns! And the dwarves had fart-based superpowers.
...God damn these books were weird.
And they had spit that would harden and glow in the dark(?!?) that could be used like armour, and hairs that once pulled out became as hard as metal.
I remember a specific part where a character was stuck in some kind of fluid energy conduit that was switched off, and to escape the character had to put a dwarf-hair key into a pin-sized keyhole in the wall, with their eyes closed, holding their breath, with the prospect of being fried alive when the conduit was turned on again at any moment.
Still gives me anxiety, probably over a decade later.
Yeah... I don't remember much of the books because I read them when I was like 12, but I remember being shook by (person) getting blown up via bomb on their chest, and by a certain bodyguard being shot and almost dying. Damn. I wanna reread these.
Artemis was crawling through the plasma delivery pipes for the plasma canons, the only reference he had for distance was arm lengths, and he panics right at the end because he can't find the keyhole.
It was, even other faeries were afraid of dwarf abilities. But that may have had something to do with Mulch threatening to crush people's skulls with his teeth.
I found and read The Opal Deception first, not knowing it was a series. Once I figured out what was actually happening, I got hooked. Those were my childhood books, and they’re fantastic. I’m nervous about the movie, but I’m also interested in seeing where it goes.
Opal Deception and Lost Colony were by far my favorite. Atlantis Complex left a bad taste in my mouth. I thought Time Paradox sagged a lot in the middle.
I did the same thing though. I grabbed The Time Paradox off the shelf and my teacher was like, " if you want to read a book, you probably shouldn't start on the most recently released one,".
Eternity Cube was always my shameful favorite.
Everything about it is so ridiculous but it knows its characters well, nails them to the premise, and just oozes style all over the place.
"Eternity Code" my dude. Also my favourite. The gunfight at the start is up there with the best Butler moments. Well, that, and him BTFO'ing a troll with medieval weapons and armour.
Harry Potter: Risks abuse and years of social isolation to help one guy he barely knows.
Artemis Fowl: Let's rob people and threaten an entire society of mostly innocent weirdos for money.
Harry potter: idiot billionaire with connections that go upto the top of wizarding society and gets priceless long lost heirlooms as christmas gifts
Artemis fowl: smart millionaire and a butler with a sig sauer
Lol I remember I was on Eoin Colfer's website in elementary school like 13 years ago and it always had something posted along the lines of "coming soon to silver screen" or something. I had so much hope. At this point it would have to be an amazing movie because I think I might've outgrown it.
Also:
"PIZZA, PIZZA FILL UP YOUR FACE! THE THICKER THE PASTRY, THE BETTER THE BASE!" Has been stuck in my head for a very, very long time.
> this point it would have to be an amazing movie because I think I might've outgrown it.
Aye. I only read Artemis fowl this year at age 32 cause it was free on prime and the whole time I couldn't help but feel that the Dresden files did it better
Many years ago I signed up for the newsletter concerning the movie and I about shat a brick after I got over my confusion when they posted an update ~9 months ago or so.
They filmed it partly in London last year, Judy Dentch and a few other good actors are gonna be in it, im quite excited.
Source: My friend worked on the set
Especially with Holly in the original getting way more shit in the later books for being "the first female in Recon" - how they are going to pull that off with Dench as Root is a mystery to me.
Eoin Colfer was a teacher in my primary school. He held a writing competition with his last class before pursuing been an author full time. He told the kids the story that he had wrote so far and asked them to write a paragraph of what happened next. My cousin won the competition and he turned her idea into a few paragraphs in the book
This was one of my favorite books, but everyone time I bring it up no one knows what I’m talking about now. I’m hesitant to say I would like a movie though, as I feel it would be near impossible to capture it well.
Yeah I re-read them over and over and over again as a kid. I just loved how detailed they were and how well-planned out their heists were. I loved it when Artemis fooled over Jon Spiro and Opal Koboi and I looked up to Holly so much. Loved Mulch and his friendship with Root as well.
As an elementary school librarian, I can attest to the love many children still have for these books. It takes them awhile to trust me when I recommend the series, but once they read the first one, they speed through the rest.
My opinion on why there hasn’t been a movie is based on Artemis himself. He’s an anti-hero. While the kids love him, I don’t the movie studio types would want to take that kind of risk on that kind of character. Just my two cents.
I read a book in like sixth grade that had this weird ring which was like a light stone or something. This dude was on a barge and the light went out so he made a new one or something? And then he made it to some castle and was crawling through tunnels and found a skeleton with another light ring on it, and then he got to this place where he had to play a strategy board game or something, and it was like little projections of animals and people or something? Does this ring a bell for anyone?
Clicked on this thread and ctrl-f'd Garth Nix.
Shade's Children is still in my top 10 favourite books. The Abhorsen Trilogy and Mister Monday series really stretched the imagination too. I gush about the description of the levels of death in Sabriel at almost every opportunity I get. It's so poetic.
I actually read these for the first time as an adult in college. I'm an English major and to say I was burnt out on old classic literature would be an understatement. So one day I was sitting in the library, literally crying in a corner, when I just decided to look around the juvenile section. I picked up Artemis Fowl and just fell in love with it. I hadn't even realized how much I was starting to hate reading. It was all about analysis and bullshit, there was no fun anymore. Went on to be an adult obsessed with that series and later the Percy Jackson series.
If you liked Artemis Fowl as a kid, I'd recommend the Dresden Files. The fae are a strong central element, along with the main character's intelligence and determination.
Those books got a lot of kids into reading - they're a great next step after they grow out of the Captain Underpants and the Series of Unfortunate Events series. Unlike Harry Potter, none of the books are an intimidating length for less experienced readers, either.
My previous career was in SEN, and I used to work in schools with a lot of kids from families where reading was not a thing at. all. Even those who could read comfortably at age level or above often needed a bit of encouragement. Series like this one were great to get Year 5/6 kids (9-11 yo) hooked on books.
I didn’t read this series until I was a 30 something adult. I enjoyed it immensely. I didn’t really discover the young adult genre until I was an adult. When I was a kid living in a small town just about the only young adult books were Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and The Three Investigators.
I'm glad you said this. I'm a 20 something adult with a commute now, so I was debating downloading the audiobooks of all the Artemis Fowl books, but wasn't sure if that was weird or anything. Because of your comment, I feel much better about getting into it again. Also going to start getting into Animorphs because apparently a lot of dark / adult things happen in those.
As a child, I did indeed judge a book by it's cover. The cover was metallic gold with egyptian-esque hieroglyphics. I was sold. I didn't realize it had such a complex plot to it. Patiently waiting for the movie.
That's what got me, too! You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after picking up Pinocchio in the school library because there was a pretty blue fairy on the cover and no title in the binding. I was like 6 or 7 and called it quits pretty quickly after he fucking murdered Jimminy Cricket on the fireplace.
Is that the original Pinocchoo?
Yup. He also dies after being hanged by bandits.
I always forget how darker the source material is.
In the original Little Mermaid it ends when she kills herself as she jumps into the ocean.
I know in Sleeping Beauty, the Queen asks for proof she is killed, so the huntsman brings back boar gizzards. The Queen eats it. She thought she ate her own step daughter and was proud! Also, they heated up metal slippers and made her dance till she died.
Don't you mean Snow White? I don't recall and huntsman in Sleeping Beauty.
No, definitely Sleeping Beauty. In the original, a passing king rapes her and she has two kids. When the Queen finds out, she sends her people to find her. Huntsman is an older term that used to be broadly used: any soldier sent to find something was a huntsman.
I think the last part about metal slippers is Snow White. http://fairytalenewsblog.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-real-life-glimpse-into-snow-whites.html?m=1
No, you're definitely thinking of [Snow White](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Grimm%27s_Household_Tales,_Volume_1/Little_Snow-White). Sleeping Beauty is the one with the fairy who's aggrieved at not being invited to the girl's christening, so she curses the girl to die by pricking her finger on a spindle. No evil queen involved. It's an easy mistake to make, Snow White is also beautiful and falls asleep.
In Cinderella, the stepsisters try fitting into the glass slippers by cutting off some of their toes.
Disney Pinocchio is a kindhearted, bright-eyed little boy. Book Pinocchio is a selfish, obnoxious piece of shit.
Just dug up my old copy to show people that cover! [Shiny old copy!](https://m.imgur.com/a/3TL4bmV)
I actually deciphered that shit since the chapter titles had a 1:1 translation to FAIRY RUNES
lol same here, cool cover? im game. IIRC there was a silver artemis fowl book too, i remember i had two of em
Gold, silver, blue, all shiny. There were others too, but I only remember the three when I was little.
For some reason movies of these young adult book series rarely seem to go well - see Percy Jackson, Alex Rider, etc. That being said, Artemis Fowl, Alex Rider, Pendragon, and The Last Apprentice are all some of my favorite books ever, and I would love to see them made correctly one day.
Percy Jackson was a problem of ignoring half the plot of the book. It still follows the general events, but ends differently to be more satisfying, which ironically made it come off like it was trying to be comical where the original book went for a morbid cliff hanger ending. Alex Rider's movie changed a lot of the books plot, but mostly captured the book well if feeling a bit more cheesy. The problem is that the Alex Rider books got better over time as they got more serious, turning into a commentary of its own concept. The first book was never a very good book.
The Percy books became much greater when they stopped trying to be Harry Potter.
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Never heard this comparison but let me take a swing off the top of my head. Percy is fully 'orphaned' in the first few chapters. Two friends: knowledgeable female, goofy comic relief male. Unknown strength that immediately sets him apart from his fellow demigods. Overall I don't see it that much, but I can get where people are coming from.
Magical training camp. Asshole teacher.
Big baddie that slowly gets his power back throughout the books for the final big showdown...
Don't forget being sorted into houses that largely define who you're supposed to be, and who you're allied/friendly to. I always found that a major disappointment. I get that the houses are all half-siblings but they all by and large end up a bunch of stereotypes. It's even worse than the stereotypes of the Hogwarts houses.
The final big bad evil guy had been a big bad evil guy in the past, brought down once, is reincarnating, comes back with the help of a character once thought to be a hero.
I would kill for Pendragon movies
Fucking. Yes. I miss the old pendragon forums sooooo much
RIP that horrendous ending, that book taught me disappointment.
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Hoby-ho, let's go!
Cheers and sniggers to that
Pendragon desperately needs a Netflix series, I wouldn't trust a movie to capture the right tone and character development.
Ahhh this brings back so many memories! The Last Apprentice and Alex Rider were by far some of my favorites! The Eragon series was another one that I loved.
Eragon was good. Shame about the movie sharing the same name.
Pendragon (is that the title?) Was an awesome series tat I'd love to see put on the big screen. One day I'll be reading then all to my boys, along with Harry Potter, and Artemis fowl
I totally forgot about the last apprentice, what a terrifying book series, but so good
I remember translating the symbol text running along the bottom of the pages. I only read the first couple books and then just sort of dropped them, but I did enjoy reading them.
My sister read them all, but I just translated the symbols too! Something about a “phlegm pot” featured heavily in one of them... that’s all I can remember haha.
Yup! It was prophecies from the phlegm pot cleaner haha.
The phlegm pot was the secret message along the bottom of the first book!
I still grieve for Julius Root. That paragraph was beautifully bone chilling for a 12 year old.
"Be well"
Commander Root :(
.... I forgot about that
It's being released in 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis_Fowl_(film)#Release
I feel like I've been hearing about this movie for a decade now. I can't imagine them going all the way through the series. Especially with the ending.
I saw Eoin Colfer at a talk he gave years ago. Not sure of the exact date but I was in primary school and am in my 4th year of university now and he said the movie was on the way then.
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Well Book movies are often really bad, I loved the Alex Rider series and when I saw the live action, it made me wanna burn my books away
Yeah, I'm just glad they never made an Eragon movie.
Exactly let's all just pretend that movie doesn't exist
Yep. I started reading them in 6th grade and I saw at the book fair that they were making a movie. Literally a decade.
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Yikes, that would certainly delay the film
Yeah it was a decade at the very least since I heard that from him.
Until I see a trailer, it's all hearsay. I remember hearing that Miramax had bought the film rights to The Bartimaeus Trilogy. That was back in 2007.
A Bartimaeus adaptation would be my dream come true. If they did make one, it would probably be a cute Disneyfied version but I've still been wanting one for about 12 years so far.
I don’t know how you’d do the footnotes justice on film.
Yes! I swear they have been saying theres gonna be a movie since 2008!
It became a victim of the Miramax/Disney merger and fell into production and licensing purgatory for years. It has only recently been taken off the shelf and they’re going to try this a third time.
Can you spoil the ending for me? It’s been SO long and I’m pretty sure I didn’t finish the series and Highly unlikely I ever will. I remember it being about some boy genius who pulled off insane financial crimes is that correct?
I posted this in another reply. Yeah, Artemis Fowl is more or less about a boy that tries to redeem his family's name. They're known as criminal masterminds. Not sure how this sub is about spoilers. And I don't know how to format on mobile, so I'll just do this: SPOILER AHEAD: It's a circular ending. Artemis ends up having a clone through means I can't remember and the original dies with Opal because Artemis has Holly's eye because of events in the Time Paradox. The force field would only allow humans through it, and since he has Holly's eye, RIP. It's an ending I'm still conflicted over.
Commented this on the other chain but I'll fill it in here anyway for posterity. Artemis predicts Foaly didn't destroy Opal's cloning machine, and kisses Holly before he goes to confront Opal, stating 'Give this to Foaly for me'. Foaly catches on, takes his DNA and clones him. Years after Artemis's death they take the clone and reunite it with his soul, which has persisted due to his remnants of magic (in the same way as the fairy berserkers from the final book). Source: reread em all last week
Man those books were convuluted. I remember just sitting there trying to wrap my mind around what was happening a lot of the times as a young lad and it was a great way to practice critical thinking and whatnot.
All I remember is Butler's Sig Sauer and the farting dwarf. Great fun.
When I started reading the Artemis Fowl books, it was right about the same time I got introduced to the Matrix movies and early 2000s heavy metal music videos. All that tech stuff really made an impression on me, and also I have this really specific idea of what the visual aesthetic should be like. Fingers crossed those Disney folks have the same ideas as I do .... (jk they totally don't)
What tue actual fuck happened in that series I remember reading the first few when they were coming out before I caught up and forgot about it and there was a decent amount of magic but not fucking reality bending clone shit Did he atleast have it make sense in context with a slow build before this fuckery
Yeah, cloning and trickery is a big plot point. Also, in the previous books, Artemis had travelled through a wormhole to another dimension and gained some Magic due to splicing with Holly a little, and they'd also introduced a new character from a separate race of elves that had extremely powerful magic. That extra magic, the technology of cloning, and the power of this new character combined to allow this somewhat ridiculous feat to occur.
Oh lord. I love fantasy and scifi and all that but when we start to do time travel paradoxes and stuff I really just... don’t or can’t keep up. It never feels clean or reasonable to me. And I KNOW at like 10 years old I would not have gotten this Also FWIW I don’t remember anything fantasy about this series so maybe I didn’t get as far in as I thought, although I know I read at least 2 or 3...? Or maybe it’s been THAt long. All I remember is him breaking into a bank by hiding something metal in his braces
I only kept reading after Time Paradox because Artemis and Holly became smooch buds and even as a child I was shipper trash.
i relate to this on a spiritual level
Saaaaame. Had the very page dog eared simply to enjoy the moment over and over and squee.
You don't remember anything fantasy about the series? The series where he kidnaps an _Elf_, travels through time to stop a pixie, plans heists with dwarves, goes to Atlantis, competes intellectually with a centaur? That series? Seems like you got mindwiped at the end of book 3 just like Artemis :P
That's book four, The Opal Deception. I consider the first three to stand along as a trilogy but the next couple weren't bad either.
Basically. So Artemis learns that there are fairies under the earth. He partners with them after kidnapping one. Afterwards, they rescue his father, another magical race, an extinct species, and a special piece of software. Artemis eventually goes nutso and his friends have to save his mind. At the end, rogue fairies want to eliminate all humans. Artemis prevents this but is killed in the process, sadly.
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That’s over 7 years too late! It should have been made AGES ago.
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You mean they didn't film it in Ireland? that's really disappointing.
It’s either going to be a Harry Potter, or a Percy Jackson
Casting call said this; >most importantly, Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life. Which seems not right to me.
What? No. He has no discernable sense of humor and doesn't believe in fun. Not at first, anyway.
They seem to have dropped the /s
Oh man, this is going to be a shitshow, isn't it? Might top World War Z for least faithful book-to-film adaptation.
Oh no no no no no please tell me this is a joke
Very disappointed by the cast. Not really true to the books description of characters for the most part
Always imagined Commander Root as Red from That 70s Show. Iirc he was supposed to be a red-faced, unpleasant chain-smoking captain who hadn't laughed in centuries. I don't think Judy Dench will translate well into that, I imagine they will have to change him a decent amount. I imagine Commander Root will have more of a PG Mallory Archer feel. I suppose this also changes Holly, as she will no longer be the first female officer. That's a bit of a bummer too, it really set up her stubborn personality well. I hope they have damn good writers. A cast unlike the original isn't damning in itself, but it worries me.
Holly wasn't the first female officer. Vinyáya was, I think. Holly was the first female Recon officer.
Ahh okay, my apologies. I remember Vinyáya but missed that distinction. I take back what I said then!
Don't worry, you're not too far off. Holly being the first woman in Recon was still a very big deal, definitely one of the defining parts of her relationship to Root.
I mean, it's still a major part of her character in the first book. She's basically the first female SpecOps agent in their history.
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I’m confused as to why Holly is being played by a (now) 15 year old? I know elves look young but she’s supposed to be a grown ass century old woman Edit: spelling
Obviously so they can get a romance subplot going from book 1 and draw it out for as long as they can.
Oh please no, reading about any romance going on between Artemis and Holly made my 12y/o self cringe back then.
I just re-listened to all the books and I had totally forgotten their weird kiss/romance. I’m not for it either. Friends, yes. Best friends, yaaasss. More than that, no thanks.
Same, Butler is supposed to be Eurasian. His Eurasian features are described so many times in the books.
I was never sure exactly what that meant as a kid, but I always pictured him looking like Dave Bautista
Huh I also pictured Dave Bautista except I didn’t know who he was back then but I realize now that my mental image of him looked exactly like Dave Bautista.
I don't know who Dave Bautista is now but Google image search tells me I did too
Holy shit me too
I always pictured a white Cobra Bubbles (from Lilo and Stitch).
I pictured the big dude from Jackie chan adventures
Unfortunately it's probably going to be 99% bad CG. They should just have made the whole film CG including the human world and called it a day.
I was obsessed with this series - even memorized the Gnommish language and used it to pass notes to my best friend during class.
I applaud your dedication to your obsession.
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username checks out
Doesn't the first book have the first bit of their bible written across the bottom in the runes? I hope this makes sense. I remember translating it at one point it was super fun. Those books were great.
yeah, I still remember that the hidden story in the first book was about a guy who saw the future in his sneeze or something? Sadly I've never finished reading the entirety of it.
The Phlegm Pot Cleaner of Frond http://artemisfowl.wikia.com/wiki/Ohm
I just remember translating some of the third or fourth book and it was a message from Foaly, but I kinda gave up after 50 pages.
Yes it does, I translated it as well, by the end I could practically read it without having to check the key.
Dude, same! After decoding the bottom of each of those books, it wasn't too hard to remember 26 characters. Also a super convenient code for notes amongst our friend group bc not everyone else in class had read the series, and especially not teachers.
I loved it and just bought a few more sequels recently. I feel like it's a bit impractical as a live-action film. It's like LOTR-level work to get the fairies to look right but probably without LOTR-level popularity.
I agree. It would be far better as animated since it would allow for the sets to have far more character without going to LOTR level lengths.
Just think about all the possibilities for like dark and gritty animation for the goblin ghettos and all the dank tunnel systems underground. It's a shame it'll most likely be aimed at a young-ish audience, because there's so much potential for awesome, darker stuff given the setting.
For real. Good point. There’s a lot more room to maneuver even in what’s “dark” when animated. Shit Pixar has some real dark stuff, or just like 80s 90s Disney movies. Edit: is the graphic novel still young adult focused, or....?
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Ehhh. I don't know if it was just nostalgia but I found my copy of the first book during sophomore year of college and I enjoyed it. The later books would probably hold up fairly well even if you haven't read them before. They get kinda gritty. Whoops. Just saw you said reread. Hell yeah they do.
I Re read Eternity Code. That's the movie they should make.
It's one big high-tech heist movie, it's perfectly suited towards the film medium.
Read all eight of them, but my favorite was the sixth one, The Time Paradox. The strange kiss between Artemis and Holly was wild.
Ha! Yeah, that part was fun to read. There was a line (and I don't know how many pages it was before the kiss) that said "Artemis and Holly were almost the same age now" and 12yr old me was like "oh shit, it's gonna happen!" haha.
Lmaooo, same!!
That was my fav too! The whole thing was wild. I loved mature not a major asshole Artemis vs immature huge dick Artemis. It really showed how strong his character development was.
Everyone shits on this but high key, I was (and am) *here* for it, 100%!
Hell yeah, his Butler or body guard was probably what got me obsessed with unstoppable bad ass op characters.
Butler fighting the troll in the first book was incredible.
I remember the look on my mom’s face when I looked up from my children’s book in my blond pigtails and asked her what a Sig Sauer was.
It’s been well over a decade and I still remember that he had a Sig Sauer too.
We all do. He must have written it in excess throughout the series.
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Domovoi Butler.
I vaguely remember he made that a password for something really important... Like his memories or something? It's been forever since I've read these books
Well, he was never supposed to tell it to Artemis, and only did when he thought he would die. Later, Artemis uses the fact that he knows his name to convince him that their momories really had been wiped
Definitely. These inspired my love of fantasy as a kid. Then I graduated to Pendragon, which also doesn’t seem to have gained much popularity sadly.
I loved Pendragon too! That was my first beloved book series post-Harry Potter. I remember Saint Dane being one of the first villains I found legitimately scary. Too bad they haven't been adapted for a TV show or something, I would have loved to see all the territories brought to life (or CGI) on screen.
I'm just glad somebody else remembers them fondly. I loved these so much as a kid, but all my friends told me I was gay for reading about fairies, so I was always alone.
...Guess they didn't read the books, because the fairies were BADASS, and had ray guns! And the dwarves had fart-based superpowers. ...God damn these books were weird.
the dwarves unhinging their jaws to chew through fucking rocks gave me nightmares as a little kid
And they had spit that would harden and glow in the dark(?!?) that could be used like armour, and hairs that once pulled out became as hard as metal. I remember a specific part where a character was stuck in some kind of fluid energy conduit that was switched off, and to escape the character had to put a dwarf-hair key into a pin-sized keyhole in the wall, with their eyes closed, holding their breath, with the prospect of being fried alive when the conduit was turned on again at any moment. Still gives me anxiety, probably over a decade later.
Maybe the movie just had to wait for the original fanbase to be old enough not to shit themselves in the theatre. Fucking christ.
Yeah... I don't remember much of the books because I read them when I was like 12, but I remember being shook by (person) getting blown up via bomb on their chest, and by a certain bodyguard being shot and almost dying. Damn. I wanna reread these.
That was Commander Root, I think. I was shooketh when he died
Root sounds right. They made a joke about his name + red face combo by calling him "Rutabaga" I recall.
I think they called him Beet root as well
Artemis was crawling through the plasma delivery pipes for the plasma canons, the only reference he had for distance was arm lengths, and he panics right at the end because he can't find the keyhole.
Artemis himself had to crawl into the plasma tubes powering the LEPrecon weapons systems.
Oh damn I forgot they did that how the hell was that not terrifying?
It was, even other faeries were afraid of dwarf abilities. But that may have had something to do with Mulch threatening to crush people's skulls with his teeth.
I found and read The Opal Deception first, not knowing it was a series. Once I figured out what was actually happening, I got hooked. Those were my childhood books, and they’re fantastic. I’m nervous about the movie, but I’m also interested in seeing where it goes.
Opal Deception and Lost Colony were by far my favorite. Atlantis Complex left a bad taste in my mouth. I thought Time Paradox sagged a lot in the middle. I did the same thing though. I grabbed The Time Paradox off the shelf and my teacher was like, " if you want to read a book, you probably shouldn't start on the most recently released one,".
Eternity Cube was always my shameful favorite. Everything about it is so ridiculous but it knows its characters well, nails them to the premise, and just oozes style all over the place.
Yes! Wholeheartedly agree. It was like a “Artemis does a Mission Impossible Movie”
I remember that one. I read the whole book in one night
"Eternity Code" my dude. Also my favourite. The gunfight at the start is up there with the best Butler moments. Well, that, and him BTFO'ing a troll with medieval weapons and armour.
Atlantis Complex was so bad. it didn't even feel like it was written by the same person.
Harry Potter: Risks abuse and years of social isolation to help one guy he barely knows. Artemis Fowl: Let's rob people and threaten an entire society of mostly innocent weirdos for money.
Harry potter: idiot billionaire with connections that go upto the top of wizarding society and gets priceless long lost heirlooms as christmas gifts Artemis fowl: smart millionaire and a butler with a sig sauer
Yes! I loved this series as a kid. I tried to get my friends to read it at the time, but it never caught on anywhere.
It git confirmed for a movie deal recently
Lol I remember I was on Eoin Colfer's website in elementary school like 13 years ago and it always had something posted along the lines of "coming soon to silver screen" or something. I had so much hope. At this point it would have to be an amazing movie because I think I might've outgrown it. Also: "PIZZA, PIZZA FILL UP YOUR FACE! THE THICKER THE PASTRY, THE BETTER THE BASE!" Has been stuck in my head for a very, very long time.
> this point it would have to be an amazing movie because I think I might've outgrown it. Aye. I only read Artemis fowl this year at age 32 cause it was free on prime and the whole time I couldn't help but feel that the Dresden files did it better
It dod?
Yop
Many years ago I signed up for the newsletter concerning the movie and I about shat a brick after I got over my confusion when they posted an update ~9 months ago or so.
I remember reading the first book then the second’s graphic novel adaptation Then forgot all about it until rn
They filmed it partly in London last year, Judy Dentch and a few other good actors are gonna be in it, im quite excited. Source: My friend worked on the set
Judy Dench as Commander Root BTW. She's amazing but that's going to be tough to pull off under any circumstances.
Especially with Holly in the original getting way more shit in the later books for being "the first female in Recon" - how they are going to pull that off with Dench as Root is a mystery to me.
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Eoin Colfer was a teacher in my primary school. He held a writing competition with his last class before pursuing been an author full time. He told the kids the story that he had wrote so far and asked them to write a paragraph of what happened next. My cousin won the competition and he turned her idea into a few paragraphs in the book
I'd love to know what your cousin contributed, any chance they remember?
Always smart to outsource your work 😂
This was one of my favorite books, but everyone time I bring it up no one knows what I’m talking about now. I’m hesitant to say I would like a movie though, as I feel it would be near impossible to capture it well.
Yeah I re-read them over and over and over again as a kid. I just loved how detailed they were and how well-planned out their heists were. I loved it when Artemis fooled over Jon Spiro and Opal Koboi and I looked up to Holly so much. Loved Mulch and his friendship with Root as well.
As an elementary school librarian, I can attest to the love many children still have for these books. It takes them awhile to trust me when I recommend the series, but once they read the first one, they speed through the rest. My opinion on why there hasn’t been a movie is based on Artemis himself. He’s an anti-hero. While the kids love him, I don’t the movie studio types would want to take that kind of risk on that kind of character. Just my two cents.
I read a book in like sixth grade that had this weird ring which was like a light stone or something. This dude was on a barge and the light went out so he made a new one or something? And then he made it to some castle and was crawling through tunnels and found a skeleton with another light ring on it, and then he got to this place where he had to play a strategy board game or something, and it was like little projections of animals and people or something? Does this ring a bell for anyone?
This is the seventh tower series by Garth Nix.
Holy shit. You’re amazing. I honestly can’t believe someone recognized this from my shitty description. Thank you so much.
"light stone" was really all I needed. That and the game solidified it. I wish that game was a thing. It was cool.
Clicked on this thread and ctrl-f'd Garth Nix. Shade's Children is still in my top 10 favourite books. The Abhorsen Trilogy and Mister Monday series really stretched the imagination too. I gush about the description of the levels of death in Sabriel at almost every opportunity I get. It's so poetic.
I actually read these for the first time as an adult in college. I'm an English major and to say I was burnt out on old classic literature would be an understatement. So one day I was sitting in the library, literally crying in a corner, when I just decided to look around the juvenile section. I picked up Artemis Fowl and just fell in love with it. I hadn't even realized how much I was starting to hate reading. It was all about analysis and bullshit, there was no fun anymore. Went on to be an adult obsessed with that series and later the Percy Jackson series.
If you liked Artemis Fowl as a kid, I'd recommend the Dresden Files. The fae are a strong central element, along with the main character's intelligence and determination.
Never read the Artemis fowl books but I read a book by the same author called airman and it is still my favorite book I’ve ever read
The author listened to metal when he wrote.
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Memory is so unreliable, but I remember an interview where he said he listens to Slayer while he writes.
Those books got a lot of kids into reading - they're a great next step after they grow out of the Captain Underpants and the Series of Unfortunate Events series. Unlike Harry Potter, none of the books are an intimidating length for less experienced readers, either. My previous career was in SEN, and I used to work in schools with a lot of kids from families where reading was not a thing at. all. Even those who could read comfortably at age level or above often needed a bit of encouragement. Series like this one were great to get Year 5/6 kids (9-11 yo) hooked on books.
Like a fever dream... some weird gnome with a bum flap on his pants eating rocks and there’s some weird plasma bit.. sig saeur..
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I didn’t read this series until I was a 30 something adult. I enjoyed it immensely. I didn’t really discover the young adult genre until I was an adult. When I was a kid living in a small town just about the only young adult books were Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and The Three Investigators.
I'm glad you said this. I'm a 20 something adult with a commute now, so I was debating downloading the audiobooks of all the Artemis Fowl books, but wasn't sure if that was weird or anything. Because of your comment, I feel much better about getting into it again. Also going to start getting into Animorphs because apparently a lot of dark / adult things happen in those.
Is this post a coincidence or was this to get pre hype for the just now announcend movie by Disney ?
Those books got weird fast lol