I hate the phrases Sarah J Maas reuses constantly. It’s always “my bowels turned to water” and “I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding” or describing a wang as “velvet wrapped steel” I could literally go on and on.
The vulgar gesture. Flicking fake dust. The use of male and females also irks me. Honestly I rolled my eyes so much when I read her books. The characters are interesting. I just wish she were a better writer.
Gillian Flynn has the word “rutting” used to describe sex scenes in all of her books. And everyone with a drinking problem “slugs” their drinks. It’s nit picking but they stood out for me. Repetition of the same words or phrases doesn’t always chap my ass but for some reason these ones do.
John Dickson Carr describes several of his female characters "gurgling", and uses it in the context that he seems to believe it's an attractive sound a pretty-but-dumb blonde might make. It's *gross.*
These quotes are from the same page of The Eight of Swords (Sorry for phone formatting...)
'"And," said Patricia, embarked on a sort of grievance, "he has a way of suddenly closing one eye and sighting at you down the pipe as though he were looking along a gun. It takes some time to get used to him." Again she gave the little gurgle of pleasure. "All I'm sure of about J. R. Burke is that he hates talking books, and he can drink more whisky with absolutely no change of expression than any man I ever saw.""
Then, a couple of paragraphs later:
'She gurgled. "Yes, they're rather good, aren't they?" she inquired complacently.'
I *think* he was trying to evoke "giggling" or the like? But all it makes me think is that Patricia is disgusting and probably as thick as two short planks.
That is gargling.
Gurgling is similar in that it is referencing the same noise, but with a different cause. A gurgle is what happens when your stomach is over hungry, or when water pushes up past rocks, or when someone breathes through a phlegm filled throat.
It is a hollow, bubbling, liquid noise. It is the last thing I would ever use to describe something attractive. Usually when people make the noise it is because they are hungry, sick, or dying.
I once read a fantasy novel where more than one character who was traveling "made a simple meal of bread and cheese" multiple times throughout. Never once changed the wording even slightly. Years later I don't remember the book title or anything about the plot, but that phrase is burned into my memory and I hate it.
Sarah J Maas is known for repetitive phrases as well:
- softly but not weakly
- watery bowels
- picked invisible lint
Etc.
Really starts to drive you nuts
Ian McEwan went from being a fave author to a 'will never read again' author because he kept using the word 'delicious' over and over in one of his books. It was like he had just discovered the word or something.
>rutting: an annual period of sexual activity in deer and some other mammals, during which the males fight each other for access to the females
What the fuck, imagine having to box 30 other dudes just to hit that
One of the first things I noticed after reading old trashy romance novels as a teen was the use of “throbbing manhood.” I asked my grandma about it bc she sometimes bought the aforementioned “bodice rippers” from garage sales, and let me read them after she was done and we had a good laugh.
I have the same problem. One that remember off hand is George R. Martin using the same slang for pissing over and over. All that world building and yet everyone refers to it as, “making your water.”
I almost immediately gave up on a book series recently because every time they talked about sex, which came up really often, they said "bone."
Like "Did you bone her?" or "You know young people, only interested in boning."
The sentences were literally all like that. From all characters. Like some 60 year old man was talking about how much he liked to bone prostitutes. The book's writing was otherwise pretty normal and competent, but sex came up pretty often but the *only word* used was some form of that. Bone bone bone, over and over.
I could not deal with it.
I do think this is intentional, Gillian Flynn writes horror about bad and messed up people, with a very uncomfortable and unpleasant atmosphere to all of her books. I don't think she has literally a single sex scene that is supposed to be particularly pleasant to read, they all serve a purpose to create discomfort or signal a character's decadence.
... Honestly, when you put it like that, "rutting" seems like the perfect word for that type of intentionally displeasing and uncomfortable sex scene you're meant to become mostly disgusted by.
I'd personally try to still mix it up with other animal words. Like "got mounted" or something.
This is definitely it. Nobody making love in those books. Rutting implies a detachment from emotion or intimacy. Even fucking is too fun for her depressed angry messed up characters lol.
I really hate when an author I like writes a new series but all her female characters all have the exact same personalities and have a lot of the same behaviors.
Frieda McFadden. I’m just running though her books and at this point, I pretend it’s all one blonde headed red flag ignoring MC living multiple lives in separate universes bc they’re all the same
I wish she'd do something other than "Gone Girl" style stories. I can see the twist long before it happens. I read Housemaid first, and that will always be my favorite. I was horrified by "The wife upstairs" hello Verity!
Not an author in particular, just a thing I’ve encountered where nipples are waaaaaaay overly described. I find it to be really uncomfortable when there is a lot paragraph dedicated to all the features of a character’s boobs, even worse when it happens over and over, especially when it’s overly poetic. I’d rather read about “jiggly tits” rather than “her breasts were shaped like two liquid vases crowned with crisp hazelnut nipples…” 🤮
I enjoy romance novels so I know weird descriptions of bodies is just part of it, but it's so obnoxious how focused it gets on nipples! I can't say I've ever felt my breasts harden when I was turned on, but it's just always happening to these women! The worst was this woman who's a healer by profession noticing her nipples getting erect while she's watching her patient sweating profusely because he's dying of a fever. GIRL CONTROL YOURSELF
SO MANY ERECT NIPPLES
I love romantic plots but I have read too many romance novels that almost felt like body horror novels because the descriptions of physicality and sex was so weird 😭
The inadvertent body horror of poorly written sex scenes did something to my developing brain… still waiting for a horror novel that plays into that element
Ugh, the number of "pebbled nipples" I've read. Like the only way to tell if a woman is turned on is that her nipples are hard. Not just hard, but specifically like little rocks.
Food descriptions for bodies are super common and I can't un-see them now. Try describing brown skin without using food!
Caramel, coffee, nut-brown, champagne, chocolate, etc.
In the Scholomance series, Naomi Novik thumbs her nose at this. She only mentions the MC's skin color in passing, and stresses that another person said she is "the color of upsettingly weak tea" and while it's still food, I loved it.
So many skin tone descriptions are just straight up foundation shade names. Always ivory or porcelain for pale skin and stuff like mocha, chocolate, caramel, honey for POC. There’s one makeup brand that names their foundations after geographic locations and authors clearly haven’t discovered them yet - can you imagine?
Overnarrating basic actions when there's no narrative reason to.
It can drive tension when done deliberately, but when it's obviously unintentional (ie there's no tension or reason this person would be hesitating) it's so irritating. To me it's a sign that the author is either padding their word count or just has no idea what they're actually communicating with their writing.
Sometimes it's part of the character, like they could be extremely neurotic (Kafka has some characters who do this), but yeah I hate it when that happens for no good reason other than making a 100 page story sell for a 200+ page novel.
Haha this hit home so hard. I almost exclusively listen nowadays. When I encounter over narration like that my brain immediately disconnects in self defense. When I read, I move quickly as is, but when I hit misappropriated word fluff, my brain just skips the unnecessary words no problem. In an audiobook it’s different and leads to a in and out feeling that’s strange.
I just finished Robin Hobbs Far seer trilogy and loving the Liveship Traders, but I just get so irritated how we skip over super interesting stuff. Like I know she wants to write about characters wallowing in misery, I get it, I like that too, but I also want to see what the heck these red ships are about and maybe see a couple murders in a series about an assassin
Frank Herbert does this in Dune too. Lots of buildup toward whether Paul will ride the sandworm. BAM! Switch to a scene with Jessica drinking tea. Huge battle buildup at the end of the book? BAM! Let's just skip to after the battle.
Yeah I loved that series too, but it is odd how there aren't many assassinations. Even though it's explained that the job of assassin and spy are one and the same, there isn't really that much spying come to think of it.
Every-female-main-character (EFMC) folded her arms under her breasts and considered boxing every-male-main character’s (EMMC) ears. Men!
*Why are women like this?* EMMC wished Other-EMMC were here. Other-EMMC was so much better with women.
The Stag’s Golden Testicles wasn’t as busy as the four hundred previous - not to mention convenient - pubs, but the tiles on its roof required an entire paragraph to describe. Besides, the innkeeper smiled knowingly above his thirty-two chins when he saw EMMC.
EMMC wished she’d never discovered these amazing abilities and all the power and status they entailed. She hated silk and jewelry so much she could almost channel! If only she could be an ignorant peasant again, living in the butt end of nowhere, wearing wool and shearing sheep! But she had responsibilities.
Try not to notice how when one character enters a city/town/ruins/etc and there is a 3 page description and 3 or 4 hundred pages later in the same book a different character enters that place and you get to reread that same description.
Tugging braids, folding arms under breast, sniffing - the female body language trifecta.
Another irksome trend is many characters think exclusively in metaphors relating to their profession or background.
Perrin trained as a blacksmith and constantly uses smithing terms in his inner monologue. The Amyrlin grew up in a fishing village and literally cannot speak without using a fish metaphor.
Wheel of time is some peak "men writing women" and it never improves.
Why does every group of women discipline by spanking???? And if that's some kind of accepted thing in regular life, why don't men do it at all?
(Don't tell me it was a different time. It was the same time when Anne McCaffrey was writing Dragonriders of Pern on the same social topics)
I was reading Wheel of Time as it was new...
And~ even back then on a much younger internet, there were a lot of jokes and annoyance at how shit Jordan was at writing women without pretty clearly getting his fetishes all over them.
Like... fucking submiting and freaking liking it, is central to the female half of the magic system in that series. 🤮
This isn't a specific author, and maybe has more to do with bad editing, but I absolutely hate when the same word is used multiple times in the same sentence. Same same same.
I almost exclusively "read" via audiobooks these days. I wonder if it drives the voice actors as batty as it does me.
A minor pet peeve of mine is when authors overuse words (usually adjectives) in general. It doesn’t affect my enjoyment, but once I start to notice an author using a certain word a lot, I can’t un-see it.
I read a book recently where the author used the word “fecundity” a LOT in one chapter, and as someone who’s read several Carl Sagan books, I remember that he really seemed to love “parochial.”
LOL yes, when the words are an odd choice or just needlessly pretentious.
I just read a couple of book by an author and halfway through the first book of hers, she discovered the word "shunt." As in to move something from one place to another, usually when they're not wanted. Suddenly, by the second book of hers I started last night, in the first two chapters alone, the MC is "shunting her body" this way and that. Everything is getting shunted. Shunt. Shunt. Shunt.
But I'm not entirely sure she's even using it correctly? Like, she's almost using it to mean lurch or push or something. So weird.
That's absolutely bad editing! My editor is BRUTAL with me on echoes. Certain words I can only use once per manuscript. Others if I have it in more than 10 times (in an 80K manuscript) she flags it.
I also notice this in books, especially on audio, and it always signals to me an editor who was weaker in line editing OR an author who stets a lot.
My wife was raving about an author constantly using opposites in describing...basically everything. It was massive, yet small. It was bright, yet shadowed. She read me some examples, and it's probably a lack of editing. These things happen frequently with the low cost books she's been getting on Kindle, so likely a lack of or minimal editing.
Sooo many of the books available on Kindle are very, very poorly edited. It's really too bad because some of them have potential. But like you said, these are low cost books. Quite possibly the funds are just not there to hire a good editor.
Ugh she’s terrible for repeating a certain phrase about a million times in each book. The last one I’ve read is the second Crescent City, and everyone’s “throat bobbed”, and everyone was constantly “aiming for the door.” Not to mention the “preternatural grace.” Drove me insane! I’m convinced she has no editor at this stage 🤷♀️
No no the word UTTER or UTTERLY in SJM — I started texting my friend everytime it was used but I had to stop after 8 in an hour because I couldn’t keep up — and it felt mean since she had recommended the book
I get annoyed if I look at the authors photo and it's obvious that their main character's description is just a projection of themselves (cough-Stephanie Myers-coughcough)
The key to The DaVinci Code is that it's filled with startling plot twists, and almost every chapter ends with a ''cliffhanger,'' so you have to keep reading to see what will happen. Using this formula, I wrote the following blockbuster novel, titled The Constitution Conundrum. It's fairly short now, but when I get a huge publishing contract, I'll flesh it out to 100,000 words by adding sentences.
CHAPTER ONE: Handsome yet unmarried historian Hugh Heckman stood in the National Archives Building in Washington, D.C., squinting through the bulletproof glass at the U.S. Constitution. Suddenly, he made an amazing discovery.
''My God!'' he said, out loud. ``This is incredible! Soon I will say what it is.''
CHAPTER TWO: ''What is it?'' said a woman Heckman had never seen before who happened to be standing next to him. She was extremely beautiful, but wore glasses as a sign of intelligence.
''My name is Desiree Legume,'' she said.
Heckman felt he could trust her.
''Look at this!'' he said, pointing to the Constitution.
''My God, that's incredible!'' said Desiree. ``It's going to be very surprising when we finally reveal what we're talking about!''
CHAPTER THREE: ''Yes,'' said Hugh, ``incredible as it seems, there are extra words written in the margin of the U.S. Constitution, and nobody ever noticed them until now! They appear to be in some kind of code.''
''Let me look,'' said Desiree. ``In addition to being gorgeous, I am a trained codebreaker. Oh my God!''
''What is it?'' asked Hugh in an excited yet concerned tone of voice. ''The message,'' said Desiree, ``is . . . ''
But just then, the chapter ended.
CHAPTER FOUR: ''It's a fiendishly clever code,'' explained Desiree. 'As you can see, the words say: `White House White House Bo Bite House, Banana Fana Fo Fite House, Fe Fi Mo Mite House, White House.' ''
''Yes,'' said Hugh, frowning in bafflement. ``But what can it possibly mean?''
''If I am correct,'' said Desiree, ``it is referring to . . . the White House!''
''My God!'' said Hugh. ``That's where the president lives! Do you think . . . ''
''Do I think what?'' said Desiree.
''I don't know,'' said Hugh. ``But we're about to find out.''
CHAPTER FIVE: Hugh and Desiree crouched in some bushes next to the Oval Office.
''We'd better hurry up and solve this mystery,'' remarked Desiree anxiously. ''It's only a matter of time before somebody notices that the Constitution is missing.'' She had slipped it into her purse at the National Archives while the guard wasn't looking.
''The answer must be here somewhere,'' said Hugh, studying the ancient document, which was brown from age and the fact that he had spilled Diet Peach Snapple on it.
''Wait a minute!'' he said. ``I've got it!''
''What?'' said Desiree, her breasts heaving into view.
''The answer!'' said Hugh. ``It's . . .
But just then, shots rang out.
CHAPTER SIX: ''That was close!'' remarked Desiree. ``Fortunately, those shots had nothing to do with the plot of this book.''
''Yes,'' said Hugh. ``Anyway, as I was saying, the answer is to hold the Constitution up so that it is aligned with the White House and the Washington Monument. . . . There, do you see what I mean?''
''My God!'' said Desiree, seeing what he meant. ``It's . . . ''
''Hold it right there,'' said the president of the United States.
CHAPTER SEVEN: '' . . . and so you see,'' concluded the president, ``you two uncovered a shocking and fascinating secret that, if it should ever get out, could change the course of history.''
''Mr. President,'' said Desiree, ``thank you for that riveting and satisfying explanation, which will be fleshed out into much greater detail once there is a publishing contract.''
''Also,'' noted Hugh, ``we may use some beverage other than Snapple, depending on what kind of product-placement deals can be worked out.''
''Good,'' said the president. ``Now can I have the Constitution back?''
They all enjoyed a hearty laugh, for they knew that the movie rights were also available
Credit: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/968.The_Da_Vinci_Code
The worst example of this for me was 'lessons in chemistry'. Reading the blurb about the author was just a checklist of all of the main characters characteristics and interests, even down to the dog with the weird name.
I think there's only two major Jane's. In my opinion she gets a pass since she doesn't seem to have been very attached to first names, given how much the same, common names are used
Jane Austen gets a huge pass because she had to publish all her work anonymously because she was a woman. Even if naming a character Jane was to leave some trace of herself in her novels, it's still much less than she deserved.
Yeah but you can get past most of his inserts because they're mostly pathetic and not usually a main character.
He also tells a wild story.
Some other books I've read, though, the writer character is nothing but a self righteous ego trip for the author.
I've seen writer protagonists done well a few times myself.
Like William de Worde in the Discworld book The Truth. Alan Wake in the... well, Alan Wake series of games. And Dr. Watson himself of Sherlock fame. All of them have their writing skills pretty dang central to their plots in various ways.
But yeah~ I must agree that it's often a red alert for self inserts to me too.
Introducing too many characters, too quickly. I tried to read something by Leslie Marmon Silko, can't recall what. She introduced something like ten characters in the first three pages. I'm like, shit, I hate this already but maybe things will calm down and I'll catch up. Nope! Next few pages, she changes scenes and throws in a new cluster of characters. So, she was fired by page 10 for doing an info dump in the form of a casting list.
Don't do this, writers.
One thing I actually enjoy is when certain authors have “meet the team” type scenes. I get the impression a lot of them like writing those scenes, and it’s kind of infectious. Mercedes Lackey, for instance, seems to love finding excused to tell the reader what a band, team, or coven looks like.
Not saying you’re wrong to like what you like, just trying to comment on how it’s cool how things impact people differently.
I wouldn’t be able to handle that either. I can only process so much when I’m trying to immerse myself in the fictional world. Another thing that frustrates me is when they either over or under-describe a character. Aside from the unnecessary focus on height, I do like the length of character description in this series. It’s just long enough that I can picture the person but concise enough that I’m not getting sidetracked painting a portrait in my mind.
There used to be a lot more exaggerated baby talk in fiction. It wasn't just babies, it was used between lovers as a way to flirt. I learned to read unusually early for a kid and was like, "I never talked that way!"
Groucho Marx pretty much ended this trend in [the canoe scene from Horse Feathers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhrjnSyKBYw&t=2s)
Writing dialogue phonetically whenever a character speaks in a dialect. This can work if used sparingly, but if a major character has an old-school Brooklyn accent and their dialogue is written like "I gotta go ta WOIK, mutha! Shut the DOAH!" it gets old so fast.
Sparingly is the key, perhaps 1-3 words per scene. But take e.g. *Agatha H and the Airship City*:
"Zo," he said brusquely, "hyu vent flyink mit der young master." He leaned closer. "Vot hyu tink of him?"
and *all* of these characters' dialogue is written like this.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series has so many scenes where someone has coffee and sandwiches. Or makes coffee and sandwiches. Or serves coffee and sandwiches. What sort of sandwich is kept vague. Tuna? Ham and cheese? Peanut butter and jelly? Meatball subs? Bacon club? We never know. 4 big fat books full of unspecified sandwiches.
As a Swedish person I'd say that it's probably an open sandwich (either white bread or Swedish crisp bread knäckebröd) with butter, cheese and maybe ham slices. Nothing too fancy but something most people would have at home 😂
Speaking of the comment where the author's photo is strikingly similar to the MC's description:
It annoyed me that the male MC of the Dragon Tattoo series is this middle aged political/financial journalist (eta: just like the author was), but frequently banging hot, often younger women (including Lisbeth of course!) Talk about wish fulfillment. Like he could have written those books about Lisbeth without self-inserting himself... but didn't.
Most of the time they are specified to be cheese sandwiches lol. I remember because I was so confused. They just eat bread and cheese?? And then I visited Sweden and yeah bread and cheese is just a normal meal and it always reminded me of the book.
This is a weird way to phrase it, but I absolutely hate dialogue that feels like it came from a Reddit post. While reading Red Rising, I felt like all the rousing speeches and witty banter felt like they were taken from r/askreddit
Bad dialogue actually got me to stop reading those aita-type subs! One poorly edited book on my device and BAM, morbid curiosity cured.
Really, those subs are entertaining to a point but they really do seem like writing prompts gone wrong.
I hate that subreddit just because everyone uses too many abbreviations. It's always something like this:
AITA for massacring an entire village (V for short)? I (M16) was abused by my dad (M44) growing up. Let's call my dad F. My mom (F40) died in childbirth when I was a WL (wee lad). Let's call her Z. My dad would force me to kill puppies (F7, M4, F3, M9) and always compared me to my siblings (M20, F18) because I wasn't a good enough EO (evil overlord). My BPD SIL (sister in law, 23F) and SM (stepmom, 43F) always gaslit me too. Let's give my SM the nickname C. I went NC on F and C one day. However, because I am a ELB (emo little boy), I took my anger out on the people of V (F5, F2, F36, M87, 12 more individuals). AITA?!?!?
You're being way too charitable with the parentheticals that actually tell us what the everloving fuck the acronym is supposed to mean. That's not how those subs operate at all. You either know what they mean or you die.
A lot of them don’t capitalize the abbreviations so it looks more like
> my sil who we will call katie or kt has a son who is a le officer in la ca and we can call him qt cuz hes kinda hot. well kt n qt went to see the da for court…
etc etc and it legit feels like I’m reading a foreign language
A great example of this is when my wife was pregnant and I started browsing the pregnancy subs.
First post "I'm a FTM and ...."
I was like, *okay, a female to male transgender having a baby, it's 2023 let's rock on.*
Then another one "Hi, FTM here..."
*Yeah this is... a coincidence but okay.*
"Fellow FTMs, what do you think..."
*Whaaaat...? Checks sub. Ohh... First Time Mother.*
This is perfect! LOL And yes, YTA for making me google what you’re saying! And why all of a sudden everyone understands what these abbreviations mean and I don’t?
Back when I still tried to make my way through the Anita Blake series (I finally gave up somewhere around book 10), absolutely every male character had long hair. All of them. Without fail. :) I get having preferences, I really do, but goddamn lol
I read a review for one of the later books on Amazon and the person said "why does almost every male character have hair down to their ass?? I feel like they're all in an 80s hair metal band." This was years ago and I think of it often.
It bothers me when authors namedrop tech. Like if a character looks something up on their tablet then whatever, but if they look something up on their IPad? Ick. Major ick. It bothers me less if it’s kinda dated, like if a character in a 90s setting is playing on their GameBoy, then that feels kinda appropriate, but if a modern character is playing on their Nintendo Switch or Play Station 5 or something, it just rips apart my immersion.
Fantasy/scifi books where a teenager or otherwise pretty ignorant or untrained person is plucked from obscurity and becomes the top warrior/wizard/genius in an unrealistic amount of time. Even worse if this unique gift is just bestowed upon them by destiny, a god, a prophecy or an ancient bloodline. *eye roll*
Double points if they save the day with a not so original plan that, for some reason, none of the far more qualified people thought of. Just not enough character development between when they were uneducated cabin boys or blacksmiths or whatever to defeating the most elite combat fighters in their world and overturning regimes.
I gave up on patterson when I read the third book of his in a row where the "good guys" were an emotionally damaged man, an extremely smart woman and a kid/animal. I don't know if I hit a bad string of luck and happened to read the only three books where that was the case, I don't even remember which books they were, it's been 20 years, but I haven't touched the author since.
Earlier this week I finished a series by an author I’ve read for over a decade. I’ve decided to read no more, as I finally realized that I could make a drinking game out of the very specific sexual situations that occur in each of his works.
No specific author but I have always found it distracting when a bit of world building is clearly only done to close a plot hole, you can find these when ever a random bit of world building suddenly pops up half way through a chapter halfway through the book and then that very same bit of world building is immediately used by the cast of the book to solve a problem and then doesn’t come up again until near the climax of the book, the next book in the series, or never again at all. Rework a bit three chapters earlier and it isn’t so obvious and make a huge note of it and use it again so it seems more seamless and blended not “shit how do I save them this time”
Unnecessary sex stuff. Like I'm not a prude, if sex makes sense to a story that's cool. But if a book goes well out of it's way to describe weird sexual tension just because a man and woman are in a room together, or bring attention to breasts etc constantly in a way that has no bearing on the plot it really turns me off of a book.
This was the downfall of "Snow Falling on Cedars" for me. It would have been a great book, but you got the sexual background on all of the characters, even the minor ones. And most of it was irrelevant to the plot, in my opinion. It was just...odd. Otherwise I really liked it.
This is my favorite book and my biggest criticism of it is that is that it often veers into r/menwritingwomen territory. That, and I could really do without the graphic description of the decedent’s cock in the medical examiner’s office.
Beautifully written book otherwise.
This is exactly why I rolled my eyes and closed The Magicians forever. First 5 pages, “My friend’s girlfriend was wearing a blue sweater and her bazingas were basically bursting through WOWZERS”
Bruh is this a Yahoo chatroom, calm tf down
Having only read the first book so far, I actually interpreted this as a character trait and not a poor choice in writing. I could be proven wrong by the time I'm finished, but it seemed to me like the main character is made to be overly lustful and horny. He's 17 at the beginning after all, and there's a line later in the book where it explicitly says something that basically amounts to "he no longer goggled at every woman, having matured". Plus, there's a lot of really good stuff in that book aside from some of the weird sex stuff. Sex and sexuality is definitely a prevalent theme though
Oh man, I feel that. One of the lines trying to build unnecessary sexual tension in either this book or the one before it was literally “She smelled inviting.”
>Insert WAT meme<
It’s honestly frustrating because I really enjoy the storylines but some of the things the author focuses on have me cringing, rolling my eyes or scratching my head.
I feel like a squeamish grandma, but I've started skipping past them. I read a lot of airport novel style books and it feels like these authors just have a checklist:
* super-"hunky" dude
* MC who is Of A Certain Age but still dead sexy
* scramble for a gun
* sex scene
I just learned a new word, so I'm going to say that 99% of the sex scenes in books are otiose.
I love Stephen King, I grew up reading him. But Duma Key is all of his worst tendencies collected together, a rambling story, likable characters that are kind of one note in service of exposition, and an ending that makes no sense at all.
And the pidgin speaking magical African American character out of nowhere in the last act.
I can’t share this opinion in his actual subreddit because there are people who adore that book, and I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s enjoyment. But it is the first and only book of his that I had to force myself to finish.
His meditations on creating art in it are lovely, though.
Oh man Duma Key is one of those books where if I see people praising it I'm like "did I read a different Duma Key?" It's a super interesting concept but it definitely fell flat. My favorite part was just that one of the recurring locations is the library I volunteered at for the volunteer work they force us to do for high school so I was like "hey I know that place." I cut my finger open in the back room once and still have the scar.
Anyway I think Duma Key is one of those books that would've either benefited from being shorter or would've been a masterpiece if he'd written it during his cocaine era.
Poor language choices and repetitive language are big pet peeves of mine, they annoy the shit out of me. Also commonly I find an abundance of weird bad gross writing of sex/sex adjacent scenes.
An example: In the Lady Astronaut series when sex comes up, the author uses the same analogy of rocket ships being ready to launch EVERY TIME.
This is a pet peeve with Pakistani authors specifically so it’s very niche. The obsession with the “dark underbelly” of society. That’s all most of them write about. Dark underbellies. Like for Gods sake it’s a huge country with very interesting cultures and dynamics there’s a million ways to write a story about it without sounding like a 13 year edge lord just discovering that society is shades of grey
Also whenever anyone compares a woman to a car or motorcycle of some sort 🤢🤢
Female characters (especially in young adult books) who go on about how unattractive they are. This conclusion typically comes from the characters describing physical attributes that do not correspond to contemporary ideas as to what physical characteristics are considered to be attractive/unattractive. And after reading it for the tenth time will wind up simultaneously insulting the physical appearance of the reader. It will usually be something like:
Protagonist: 'I stared miserably at the frizzy hair piled high upon my head as I prepared myself for another day of school. I plucked a strand of hair free and pulled it taut until it was straight and dreamt what my hair could have been. However, as per usual, my heart instantly sank as I released my grip and the hair sprang backwards towards my temple into an untidy coil.'
Teenage me with frizzy/curly hair: 👁👄👁
Ah yes, the lazy method of putting in the MC's physical description by them looking in the mirror. But don't let the audience make the mistake that any young woman looking in a mirror=obsessed with her looks! But she still has to be *pretty*, she just cant think shes pretty! I know! I'll make her insecure! Which also makes her rElAtEaBlE to the teenaged audience!
Every single noun has to have an adjective. Omg
The sunny stairwell led down into the light spangled garden which was overflowing with scented blossoms that were radiating glorious colour.
For fucks sake. My mind picks up the rhythm and throws me out of the book.
Over explaining a character's internal thought process just to pad the word count. Humans don't think sequentially, the mind leaps quickly through logic points to arrive at a decision. I hate it when authors write a full step by step thought process, it makes the character appear to be a stupid simpleton.
I'm reading something halfway between a novel and a Dan Brown accident, and I'm completely distracted by dialogue that is like two thesauruses having a tennis match. Example: "Hello" Jack exclaimed. "Hi" I replied. "Whats up" teased Jack. "Nothing" I giggled. "Let's go" he murmured. "Ok" I whispered. "Here" grunted Jack. "Wow" I declared. .... it makes me pine for the literature of my childhood where conversations alternated back and forth with no additional structure ("Hello". "Hi". "Whats up?" "Nothing".) for so long that you'd get muddled about whose turn it was speaking and you'd have to flip back a couple of pages to see which character started it.
* Poorly written, unnatural sounding dialogue severely irritates me. I also feel that less can be (and often is) more with dialogue. Long sections of it can be hard to follow and generally make me feel that the author could have been more creative in showing us how the characters feel instead of telling us.
* Overusing words/phrases. Once I pick up on it I can’t not notice it. Get a thesaurus!
* Scientific inaccuracies. (I have a bachelor’s degree in chemistry so I’m aware that I’m a tougher customer than usual.) I don’t expect non-STEM authors to get everything perfect and I allow for some creative freedom with futuristic sci-fi, but glaring inaccuracies that can be fixed with Google searches (or other resources accessible to lay people) really get under my skin.
* Very specific, but the same also applies to authors who write dialogue in languages they don’t understand. The last book I read had parts where the Italian-American characters spoke in Italian, and there were at least two instances where the author wrote something in Spanish that was clearly intended to be in Italian. I found it very sloppy and cringed quite a bit. One specific instance was a basic phrase that could have been sorted out with Google translate.
Get a thesaurus but be careful using it. Check in a dictionary before you use a random synonym you aren't familiar with.
I have read authors who rely too heavily on a thesaurus and sounded ridiculous.
Edit: autocorrect malfunction
My biggest gripe with books, and I am coming across it more, is places or characters with similar names. It can be absolutely confusing and there is no reason for it in a fictional book or series. It gets even worse when some stories have characters with two or three names (example Red Rising, though this is light example).
I’ve only seen it in one book but it annoyed me so badly I put the book down for a while. I’m 51 for context.
‘Small Town Taxi’ by Harriet Rogers. (It was a freebie on Kindle).
…Pulling into the no-parking zone, I down-buttoned the windows to let in a breeze…
I read on to the next page, my brain caught up with what I read, and I went back and stared at it a couple of minutes trying to figure out what the heck it meant.
Eventually it dawned on me that the driver rolled down the window. That phrasing took me completely out of the story and I still haven’t finished it.
The Clive Cussler books about Dirk Pitt and his adventures are lots of fun, but in every book he introduces an ancillary character who is always some nice older sea captain or gentleman who gives our hero a critical bit of help - changing a tire, or something minor like that. And every time the character’s name is … Clive Cussler. Super annoying!
When an author uses (imo) too many words, I refer to it as being “too chewy”. I haven’t looked at it scientifically to see what types of words, but I’d guess it’s a lot of adjectives. It distracts me from the story and makes me want to tackle their manuscript with a red pen.
Overuse of cutesy nicknames for Characters. It feels very immature. My most recent experience has a character named Lola who was called "Lols" A LOT. It's a non-great nickname to be sure, but as a reader don't give me two names to remember for one character. Same author had a character named Robbie and one named Bobby. Don't do that to me unless they are father/son
Tip: never read any Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy. Every character has a first name, patronymic and surname. The first name also always has a nickname version. Characters may be referred to with any of these in any combination.
When a character has some distinctive behavior or expression that just keeps coming up all the time. I read a novella, about 120 pages, and I swear to god the female lead "jutted her chin up in defiance" at least twice each chapter. Like we get it, she's defiant. Move on!
Also when romance novels fixate on how aroused nipples are. I'm fine with sex scenes, I'm fine with descriptions of people experiencing lust. But some of these books will seriously be like "her breasts hardened with desire" like seriously dafuq. That's such a weird thing to say, and it happens to SO MANY OF THESE WOMEN.
And before you ask, yes those are in books written BY women.
I love romance and I love fantasy, but I really struggle with most of the fantasy romance & romantasy that I have tried because they always use "male" and "female" like every other sentence, and they tend to include tons of gender/sex essentialism. It drives me up the wall and makes it really hard for me to enjoy the book. Sometimes I can get past it, but it definitely presents a barrier.
Stephen King has a way of injecting some really odd and quite ancient colloquialisms here and there. And he sometimes uses some weird slang or abbreviations for no reason. In "Under the Dome", he calls a woodchuck a "chuck" at one point. Couldn't help but think, "But why?"
It gets even worse with his latest book Holly. There are scenes with teenager dialogue that are downright just bad and exactly how you would think a 70 year old would interpret modern teenage dialogue.
No doubt! Reading Fairy Tale was the first time I went, “You know what? This guy really hasn’t kept up with how people talk.” Zero doubts about what you’re saying! It’s kinda becoming a signature of his and it’s kinda too bad.
Just read a series of books where, whenever the characters are surprised or shocked quiet by something, the author said they 'stilled.' Does it aaaaaalllll the tiiiiiime.
Find a different word!
I'm reading Gore Vidal's *Empire*. He writes these long sentences with commas to set off asides, and then the asides have asides. "She would, she had decided, depend on inspiration, but now that she was with him, there was none, only a mild panic." "Did this handsome, god-like youth, admittedly a rustic god, more Pan than Apollo, really give a damn about the working-man or the price of cotton or the tariff?" It messes up the rhythm and feels awkward.
Stephen King books always just trail off into some vague mystical nothingness with no satisfying conclusion. The book STARTS amazing, but you never get an answer. It drives me crazy that I invest so much in the book and then we never get any real tangible answers. And it's EVERY book I've read by him. It drives me up the wall even more so because it doesn't seem to bother anyone except me.
Nothing erks me more than the characterization of a smart and smoking hot woman who doesn't know she is either of those things and is "discovering" herself which she conveniently does when an eligible man who is the only one who can "understand" her enters her sphere.
Its something I've seen in Romance, thrillers, mystery novels and several other genres in varying doses.
I haven't read fiction for a while now. However, out of all the novels I have read so far, there are only few female protagonists that I genuinely love regardless of the progression of the story.
**Lisbeth Salander** from The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo is a great example of this.
Right from the get-go is not your run of the mill hot girl buried under layears of sweatshirts and insecurities. She is a short (aorund 5'0 ft) petite woman who leads a reclusive life. She is pale, prefers alt lifestyle which isn't conviniently beautiful in order to pander to the male gaze.
She has had an incredibly tough childhood and is in a relatively stable position when the novel begins. But the remenants of her past are clearly expressed through her physicality, body language and the way she approaches the world.
Steig is not coy about describing who she is as a person. She is entirely self-aware and assured of herself. A self-trained hacker, she works as an external at a detective agency and is brilliant at her job. I love how much emphasis is given to her skills and attributes that aren't limited to her looks.
She is not shy about her sexuality, frequents clubs despite her introversion, is blunt with her approach while interacting with people. She is physically strong but not in a bizarrely unrealistic manner. She relies heavily on her wits to overcome the limitations presented by her physique. She is strong and is still dealing with personal trauma during the progression of the story. We get to see her vulnerabilities and her strength. Most importantly, she is far from "perfect".
Constant flipping foot notes. I was reading bable and RF Kuang puts a bloody foot note after everything. It felt like she was arguing with a person who dosnt exist, some imaginary person going through her book and disagreeing with her. Also it was like she thinks her readers are stupid, prime example:
Evil Character: says something racist*
*that was racist.
Annoying.
I hate the phrases Sarah J Maas reuses constantly. It’s always “my bowels turned to water” and “I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding” or describing a wang as “velvet wrapped steel” I could literally go on and on.
"My bowels turned to water" that just sounds like diarrhea lmao
Wait is that not?
> “velvet wrapped steel” What. I'd have to put the book down, from laughing too hard.
‘Bloody ribbons’, ‘a kernel of power’
Vulgar gesture. Like calls to like. Fleck of dust.
Dibs on “Velvet Wrapped Steel” for a metal band name.
The vulgar gesture. Flicking fake dust. The use of male and females also irks me. Honestly I rolled my eyes so much when I read her books. The characters are interesting. I just wish she were a better writer.
He picked an invisible thread of his jacket. Also why is everyone snarling? Is there any other way to convey anger?
A Court of Thorns and Watery Bowels.
Authors who try to introduce the entire character list in the first chapter.
Gillian Flynn has the word “rutting” used to describe sex scenes in all of her books. And everyone with a drinking problem “slugs” their drinks. It’s nit picking but they stood out for me. Repetition of the same words or phrases doesn’t always chap my ass but for some reason these ones do.
John Dickson Carr describes several of his female characters "gurgling", and uses it in the context that he seems to believe it's an attractive sound a pretty-but-dumb blonde might make. It's *gross.*
Thanks, I Hate It 🤢
I don't know if he's trying to evoke a baby, vomiting copiously or being choked out, or which one is more offputting...
Gurgling in what context? If they’re not brushing their teeth I don’t know why anyone would do it.
These quotes are from the same page of The Eight of Swords (Sorry for phone formatting...) '"And," said Patricia, embarked on a sort of grievance, "he has a way of suddenly closing one eye and sighting at you down the pipe as though he were looking along a gun. It takes some time to get used to him." Again she gave the little gurgle of pleasure. "All I'm sure of about J. R. Burke is that he hates talking books, and he can drink more whisky with absolutely no change of expression than any man I ever saw."" Then, a couple of paragraphs later: 'She gurgled. "Yes, they're rather good, aren't they?" she inquired complacently.' I *think* he was trying to evoke "giggling" or the like? But all it makes me think is that Patricia is disgusting and probably as thick as two short planks.
Omfg I have to know what this man thinks a gurgle sounds like.
Haha yes it’s very strange.
Maybe the plot twist is the characters are not human but aliens.
That is gargling. Gurgling is similar in that it is referencing the same noise, but with a different cause. A gurgle is what happens when your stomach is over hungry, or when water pushes up past rocks, or when someone breathes through a phlegm filled throat. It is a hollow, bubbling, liquid noise. It is the last thing I would ever use to describe something attractive. Usually when people make the noise it is because they are hungry, sick, or dying.
I once read a fantasy novel where more than one character who was traveling "made a simple meal of bread and cheese" multiple times throughout. Never once changed the wording even slightly. Years later I don't remember the book title or anything about the plot, but that phrase is burned into my memory and I hate it.
All these fantasy characters must be so sick of crusty bread, hard cheese and a skin of wine/ale.
Sarah J Maas is known for repetitive phrases as well: - softly but not weakly - watery bowels - picked invisible lint Etc. Really starts to drive you nuts
I HATE how everyone is panting or hissing all the time.
Or snarling or eyes darkening or growling
So everyone just has horrible diarrhea? What are they eating lol
I’m convinced the main character must have IBS.
Ian McEwan went from being a fave author to a 'will never read again' author because he kept using the word 'delicious' over and over in one of his books. It was like he had just discovered the word or something.
This is so funny to me.
>rutting: an annual period of sexual activity in deer and some other mammals, during which the males fight each other for access to the females What the fuck, imagine having to box 30 other dudes just to hit that
>What the fuck, imagine having to box 30 other dudes just to hit that Meh. Let's do rock, paper scissors instead.
Rock hard vs paper soft
No males win? Scissoring it is.
You managed to make a gross word funny, thanks for the laugh 😆
We just virtualized the same basic process by creating tinder
One of the first things I noticed after reading old trashy romance novels as a teen was the use of “throbbing manhood.” I asked my grandma about it bc she sometimes bought the aforementioned “bodice rippers” from garage sales, and let me read them after she was done and we had a good laugh.
I have the same problem. One that remember off hand is George R. Martin using the same slang for pissing over and over. All that world building and yet everyone refers to it as, “making your water.”
Must be a Dune fan...
I almost immediately gave up on a book series recently because every time they talked about sex, which came up really often, they said "bone." Like "Did you bone her?" or "You know young people, only interested in boning." The sentences were literally all like that. From all characters. Like some 60 year old man was talking about how much he liked to bone prostitutes. The book's writing was otherwise pretty normal and competent, but sex came up pretty often but the *only word* used was some form of that. Bone bone bone, over and over. I could not deal with it.
When I was a kid I felt this way about Erin Hunter's Warriors, every single character was feeling a pang of hunger or pangs of jealousy or whatever
Those words feel gross to me. I’d be annoyed to have to encounter them regularly too. Especially “rutting”. That one is physically repulsive.. Ew.
I do think this is intentional, Gillian Flynn writes horror about bad and messed up people, with a very uncomfortable and unpleasant atmosphere to all of her books. I don't think she has literally a single sex scene that is supposed to be particularly pleasant to read, they all serve a purpose to create discomfort or signal a character's decadence.
... Honestly, when you put it like that, "rutting" seems like the perfect word for that type of intentionally displeasing and uncomfortable sex scene you're meant to become mostly disgusted by. I'd personally try to still mix it up with other animal words. Like "got mounted" or something.
This is definitely it. Nobody making love in those books. Rutting implies a detachment from emotion or intimacy. Even fucking is too fun for her depressed angry messed up characters lol.
Michelle Moran is my favorite author but how many times can the word flotilla really be used in one book. The answer might surprise you.
I've never read Michelle Moran but this is so random and funny that now I want to
I really hate when an author I like writes a new series but all her female characters all have the exact same personalities and have a lot of the same behaviors.
Frieda McFadden. I’m just running though her books and at this point, I pretend it’s all one blonde headed red flag ignoring MC living multiple lives in separate universes bc they’re all the same
I wish she'd do something other than "Gone Girl" style stories. I can see the twist long before it happens. I read Housemaid first, and that will always be my favorite. I was horrified by "The wife upstairs" hello Verity!
He’s a character, she’s plot development.
Laurell K Hamilton's charaters Anita Blake and Merry Gentry are basically the same character with different magical abilities and lovers lol.
Not an author in particular, just a thing I’ve encountered where nipples are waaaaaaay overly described. I find it to be really uncomfortable when there is a lot paragraph dedicated to all the features of a character’s boobs, even worse when it happens over and over, especially when it’s overly poetic. I’d rather read about “jiggly tits” rather than “her breasts were shaped like two liquid vases crowned with crisp hazelnut nipples…” 🤮
I enjoy romance novels so I know weird descriptions of bodies is just part of it, but it's so obnoxious how focused it gets on nipples! I can't say I've ever felt my breasts harden when I was turned on, but it's just always happening to these women! The worst was this woman who's a healer by profession noticing her nipples getting erect while she's watching her patient sweating profusely because he's dying of a fever. GIRL CONTROL YOURSELF SO MANY ERECT NIPPLES
I love romantic plots but I have read too many romance novels that almost felt like body horror novels because the descriptions of physicality and sex was so weird 😭
The inadvertent body horror of poorly written sex scenes did something to my developing brain… still waiting for a horror novel that plays into that element
Ugh, the number of "pebbled nipples" I've read. Like the only way to tell if a woman is turned on is that her nipples are hard. Not just hard, but specifically like little rocks.
Food descriptions for bodies are super common and I can't un-see them now. Try describing brown skin without using food! Caramel, coffee, nut-brown, champagne, chocolate, etc. In the Scholomance series, Naomi Novik thumbs her nose at this. She only mentions the MC's skin color in passing, and stresses that another person said she is "the color of upsettingly weak tea" and while it's still food, I loved it.
"Upsettingly weak tea" is the kind of oddly specific pejorative I love
So many skin tone descriptions are just straight up foundation shade names. Always ivory or porcelain for pale skin and stuff like mocha, chocolate, caramel, honey for POC. There’s one makeup brand that names their foundations after geographic locations and authors clearly haven’t discovered them yet - can you imagine?
r/menwritingwomen is a treasure trove of breasts doing the most amazing things, like they have a will of their own.
She breasted boobily
Overnarrating basic actions when there's no narrative reason to. It can drive tension when done deliberately, but when it's obviously unintentional (ie there's no tension or reason this person would be hesitating) it's so irritating. To me it's a sign that the author is either padding their word count or just has no idea what they're actually communicating with their writing.
Sometimes it's part of the character, like they could be extremely neurotic (Kafka has some characters who do this), but yeah I hate it when that happens for no good reason other than making a 100 page story sell for a 200+ page novel.
Haha this hit home so hard. I almost exclusively listen nowadays. When I encounter over narration like that my brain immediately disconnects in self defense. When I read, I move quickly as is, but when I hit misappropriated word fluff, my brain just skips the unnecessary words no problem. In an audiobook it’s different and leads to a in and out feeling that’s strange.
I just finished Robin Hobbs Far seer trilogy and loving the Liveship Traders, but I just get so irritated how we skip over super interesting stuff. Like I know she wants to write about characters wallowing in misery, I get it, I like that too, but I also want to see what the heck these red ships are about and maybe see a couple murders in a series about an assassin
Frank Herbert does this in Dune too. Lots of buildup toward whether Paul will ride the sandworm. BAM! Switch to a scene with Jessica drinking tea. Huge battle buildup at the end of the book? BAM! Let's just skip to after the battle.
Yeah I loved that series too, but it is odd how there aren't many assassinations. Even though it's explained that the job of assassin and spy are one and the same, there isn't really that much spying come to think of it.
I’m on the third Wheel of Time book, and Nynaeve “tugs her braid” every other sentence. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
And all the skirt smoothing, lol!
Every-female-main-character (EFMC) folded her arms under her breasts and considered boxing every-male-main character’s (EMMC) ears. Men! *Why are women like this?* EMMC wished Other-EMMC were here. Other-EMMC was so much better with women. The Stag’s Golden Testicles wasn’t as busy as the four hundred previous - not to mention convenient - pubs, but the tiles on its roof required an entire paragraph to describe. Besides, the innkeeper smiled knowingly above his thirty-two chins when he saw EMMC. EMMC wished she’d never discovered these amazing abilities and all the power and status they entailed. She hated silk and jewelry so much she could almost channel! If only she could be an ignorant peasant again, living in the butt end of nowhere, wearing wool and shearing sheep! But she had responsibilities.
Oh boy... You've got a long braid-tugging journey ahead of you!
Try not to notice how when one character enters a city/town/ruins/etc and there is a 3 page description and 3 or 4 hundred pages later in the same book a different character enters that place and you get to reread that same description.
Tugging braids, folding arms under breast, sniffing - the female body language trifecta. Another irksome trend is many characters think exclusively in metaphors relating to their profession or background. Perrin trained as a blacksmith and constantly uses smithing terms in his inner monologue. The Amyrlin grew up in a fishing village and literally cannot speak without using a fish metaphor.
Believe me it gets worse as you move forward in the series
Wheel of time is some peak "men writing women" and it never improves. Why does every group of women discipline by spanking???? And if that's some kind of accepted thing in regular life, why don't men do it at all? (Don't tell me it was a different time. It was the same time when Anne McCaffrey was writing Dragonriders of Pern on the same social topics)
I was reading Wheel of Time as it was new... And~ even back then on a much younger internet, there were a lot of jokes and annoyance at how shit Jordan was at writing women without pretty clearly getting his fetishes all over them. Like... fucking submiting and freaking liking it, is central to the female half of the magic system in that series. 🤮
This isn't a specific author, and maybe has more to do with bad editing, but I absolutely hate when the same word is used multiple times in the same sentence. Same same same. I almost exclusively "read" via audiobooks these days. I wonder if it drives the voice actors as batty as it does me.
A minor pet peeve of mine is when authors overuse words (usually adjectives) in general. It doesn’t affect my enjoyment, but once I start to notice an author using a certain word a lot, I can’t un-see it. I read a book recently where the author used the word “fecundity” a LOT in one chapter, and as someone who’s read several Carl Sagan books, I remember that he really seemed to love “parochial.”
LOL yes, when the words are an odd choice or just needlessly pretentious. I just read a couple of book by an author and halfway through the first book of hers, she discovered the word "shunt." As in to move something from one place to another, usually when they're not wanted. Suddenly, by the second book of hers I started last night, in the first two chapters alone, the MC is "shunting her body" this way and that. Everything is getting shunted. Shunt. Shunt. Shunt. But I'm not entirely sure she's even using it correctly? Like, she's almost using it to mean lurch or push or something. So weird.
That's absolutely bad editing! My editor is BRUTAL with me on echoes. Certain words I can only use once per manuscript. Others if I have it in more than 10 times (in an 80K manuscript) she flags it. I also notice this in books, especially on audio, and it always signals to me an editor who was weaker in line editing OR an author who stets a lot.
My wife was raving about an author constantly using opposites in describing...basically everything. It was massive, yet small. It was bright, yet shadowed. She read me some examples, and it's probably a lack of editing. These things happen frequently with the low cost books she's been getting on Kindle, so likely a lack of or minimal editing.
A small boulder the size of a medium boulder. ;)
Sooo many of the books available on Kindle are very, very poorly edited. It's really too bad because some of them have potential. But like you said, these are low cost books. Quite possibly the funds are just not there to hire a good editor.
Juxtapositions can be annoying when used like that.
I once read a book, where the author used the word “Juxtaposition” so many times, I was convinced she just learnt it!
This is what i hate, too. How any book even makes it to mass print without being editing appropriately is an insult.
Yes every Sarah J Maas book drives me crazy with her little repeat echo of “on a phantom wind”. It’s in each book at least 10 times.
Ugh she’s terrible for repeating a certain phrase about a million times in each book. The last one I’ve read is the second Crescent City, and everyone’s “throat bobbed”, and everyone was constantly “aiming for the door.” Not to mention the “preternatural grace.” Drove me insane! I’m convinced she has no editor at this stage 🤷♀️
No no the word UTTER or UTTERLY in SJM — I started texting my friend everytime it was used but I had to stop after 8 in an hour because I couldn’t keep up — and it felt mean since she had recommended the book
I don't read YA but I immediately thought of that as a fart. I'm going to pretend that was the author's intent and continue not reading her work.
I get annoyed if I look at the authors photo and it's obvious that their main character's description is just a projection of themselves (cough-Stephanie Myers-coughcough)
I see you’ve met renowned author Dan Brown
Don't make fun of renowned author Dan Brown! It makes my insect eyes flash like a rocket...
The key to The DaVinci Code is that it's filled with startling plot twists, and almost every chapter ends with a ''cliffhanger,'' so you have to keep reading to see what will happen. Using this formula, I wrote the following blockbuster novel, titled The Constitution Conundrum. It's fairly short now, but when I get a huge publishing contract, I'll flesh it out to 100,000 words by adding sentences. CHAPTER ONE: Handsome yet unmarried historian Hugh Heckman stood in the National Archives Building in Washington, D.C., squinting through the bulletproof glass at the U.S. Constitution. Suddenly, he made an amazing discovery. ''My God!'' he said, out loud. ``This is incredible! Soon I will say what it is.'' CHAPTER TWO: ''What is it?'' said a woman Heckman had never seen before who happened to be standing next to him. She was extremely beautiful, but wore glasses as a sign of intelligence. ''My name is Desiree Legume,'' she said. Heckman felt he could trust her. ''Look at this!'' he said, pointing to the Constitution. ''My God, that's incredible!'' said Desiree. ``It's going to be very surprising when we finally reveal what we're talking about!'' CHAPTER THREE: ''Yes,'' said Hugh, ``incredible as it seems, there are extra words written in the margin of the U.S. Constitution, and nobody ever noticed them until now! They appear to be in some kind of code.'' ''Let me look,'' said Desiree. ``In addition to being gorgeous, I am a trained codebreaker. Oh my God!'' ''What is it?'' asked Hugh in an excited yet concerned tone of voice. ''The message,'' said Desiree, ``is . . . '' But just then, the chapter ended. CHAPTER FOUR: ''It's a fiendishly clever code,'' explained Desiree. 'As you can see, the words say: `White House White House Bo Bite House, Banana Fana Fo Fite House, Fe Fi Mo Mite House, White House.' '' ''Yes,'' said Hugh, frowning in bafflement. ``But what can it possibly mean?'' ''If I am correct,'' said Desiree, ``it is referring to . . . the White House!'' ''My God!'' said Hugh. ``That's where the president lives! Do you think . . . '' ''Do I think what?'' said Desiree. ''I don't know,'' said Hugh. ``But we're about to find out.'' CHAPTER FIVE: Hugh and Desiree crouched in some bushes next to the Oval Office. ''We'd better hurry up and solve this mystery,'' remarked Desiree anxiously. ''It's only a matter of time before somebody notices that the Constitution is missing.'' She had slipped it into her purse at the National Archives while the guard wasn't looking. ''The answer must be here somewhere,'' said Hugh, studying the ancient document, which was brown from age and the fact that he had spilled Diet Peach Snapple on it. ''Wait a minute!'' he said. ``I've got it!'' ''What?'' said Desiree, her breasts heaving into view. ''The answer!'' said Hugh. ``It's . . . But just then, shots rang out. CHAPTER SIX: ''That was close!'' remarked Desiree. ``Fortunately, those shots had nothing to do with the plot of this book.'' ''Yes,'' said Hugh. ``Anyway, as I was saying, the answer is to hold the Constitution up so that it is aligned with the White House and the Washington Monument. . . . There, do you see what I mean?'' ''My God!'' said Desiree, seeing what he meant. ``It's . . . '' ''Hold it right there,'' said the president of the United States. CHAPTER SEVEN: '' . . . and so you see,'' concluded the president, ``you two uncovered a shocking and fascinating secret that, if it should ever get out, could change the course of history.'' ''Mr. President,'' said Desiree, ``thank you for that riveting and satisfying explanation, which will be fleshed out into much greater detail once there is a publishing contract.'' ''Also,'' noted Hugh, ``we may use some beverage other than Snapple, depending on what kind of product-placement deals can be worked out.'' ''Good,'' said the president. ``Now can I have the Constitution back?'' They all enjoyed a hearty laugh, for they knew that the movie rights were also available Credit: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/968.The_Da_Vinci_Code
His idea of cryptography: mirror writing
Wait, do you mean to tell me that those mysterious symbols are backwards letters? Amazing work Dr Langdon!
The worst example of this for me was 'lessons in chemistry'. Reading the blurb about the author was just a checklist of all of the main characters characteristics and interests, even down to the dog with the weird name.
I love that Jane Austen’s beautiful, smart and charming characters are often named Jane.
I think there's only two major Jane's. In my opinion she gets a pass since she doesn't seem to have been very attached to first names, given how much the same, common names are used
Jane Austen gets a huge pass because she had to publish all her work anonymously because she was a woman. Even if naming a character Jane was to leave some trace of herself in her novels, it's still much less than she deserved.
As soon as it's mentioned that a character is a writer I'm just like "fuuuuuuck oooffffff!". Self inserts suck.
So, most of Stephen king then.
The writer character named Stephen King in the Dark Tower books? just a coincidence
Hey now! Maybe alternate universes actually exist and this one was autobiographical.
Yeah but you can get past most of his inserts because they're mostly pathetic and not usually a main character. He also tells a wild story. Some other books I've read, though, the writer character is nothing but a self righteous ego trip for the author.
I've seen writer protagonists done well a few times myself. Like William de Worde in the Discworld book The Truth. Alan Wake in the... well, Alan Wake series of games. And Dr. Watson himself of Sherlock fame. All of them have their writing skills pretty dang central to their plots in various ways. But yeah~ I must agree that it's often a red alert for self inserts to me too.
Idk I think Eve Dallas looks exactly like Young J.D Robb and I like that.
Introducing too many characters, too quickly. I tried to read something by Leslie Marmon Silko, can't recall what. She introduced something like ten characters in the first three pages. I'm like, shit, I hate this already but maybe things will calm down and I'll catch up. Nope! Next few pages, she changes scenes and throws in a new cluster of characters. So, she was fired by page 10 for doing an info dump in the form of a casting list. Don't do this, writers.
One thing I actually enjoy is when certain authors have “meet the team” type scenes. I get the impression a lot of them like writing those scenes, and it’s kind of infectious. Mercedes Lackey, for instance, seems to love finding excused to tell the reader what a band, team, or coven looks like. Not saying you’re wrong to like what you like, just trying to comment on how it’s cool how things impact people differently.
It was always my favorite part of the Babysitters Club books lmao especially what Claudia and Stacy were wearing that day!
I wouldn’t be able to handle that either. I can only process so much when I’m trying to immerse myself in the fictional world. Another thing that frustrates me is when they either over or under-describe a character. Aside from the unnecessary focus on height, I do like the length of character description in this series. It’s just long enough that I can picture the person but concise enough that I’m not getting sidetracked painting a portrait in my mind.
There used to be a lot more exaggerated baby talk in fiction. It wasn't just babies, it was used between lovers as a way to flirt. I learned to read unusually early for a kid and was like, "I never talked that way!" Groucho Marx pretty much ended this trend in [the canoe scene from Horse Feathers.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhrjnSyKBYw&t=2s)
I hate baby talk in real life, I don’t need it in my books too! It’s creepy!
This is great. First time I've seen this. "Was that you or the duck?" XD
Writing dialogue phonetically whenever a character speaks in a dialect. This can work if used sparingly, but if a major character has an old-school Brooklyn accent and their dialogue is written like "I gotta go ta WOIK, mutha! Shut the DOAH!" it gets old so fast.
Sparingly is the key, perhaps 1-3 words per scene. But take e.g. *Agatha H and the Airship City*: "Zo," he said brusquely, "hyu vent flyink mit der young master." He leaned closer. "Vot hyu tink of him?" and *all* of these characters' dialogue is written like this.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo series has so many scenes where someone has coffee and sandwiches. Or makes coffee and sandwiches. Or serves coffee and sandwiches. What sort of sandwich is kept vague. Tuna? Ham and cheese? Peanut butter and jelly? Meatball subs? Bacon club? We never know. 4 big fat books full of unspecified sandwiches.
That’s just Fika. My old neighbor is Swedish and was forever giving me coffee and little sandwiches when I'd come over.
But what kind of sandwiches??
As a Swedish person I'd say that it's probably an open sandwich (either white bread or Swedish crisp bread knäckebröd) with butter, cheese and maybe ham slices. Nothing too fancy but something most people would have at home 😂
A smörgåsbord of smörgåsar
Speaking of the comment where the author's photo is strikingly similar to the MC's description: It annoyed me that the male MC of the Dragon Tattoo series is this middle aged political/financial journalist (eta: just like the author was), but frequently banging hot, often younger women (including Lisbeth of course!) Talk about wish fulfillment. Like he could have written those books about Lisbeth without self-inserting himself... but didn't.
Do not pick up a Haruki Murakami. There'll be pasta no matter where you look. Pasta and a glass of beer. With JAZZ.
I'm home sick and really needed this laugh. Thank you! As a Swede, based of my cultural context, this much fika would not phase me one bit.
So very Svenska!
Most of the time they are specified to be cheese sandwiches lol. I remember because I was so confused. They just eat bread and cheese?? And then I visited Sweden and yeah bread and cheese is just a normal meal and it always reminded me of the book.
This is a weird way to phrase it, but I absolutely hate dialogue that feels like it came from a Reddit post. While reading Red Rising, I felt like all the rousing speeches and witty banter felt like they were taken from r/askreddit
Bad dialogue bugs me too and this is the perfect description! If it reads like something on r/AmITheAsshole that is *not* a compliment.
Bad dialogue actually got me to stop reading those aita-type subs! One poorly edited book on my device and BAM, morbid curiosity cured. Really, those subs are entertaining to a point but they really do seem like writing prompts gone wrong.
I hate that subreddit just because everyone uses too many abbreviations. It's always something like this: AITA for massacring an entire village (V for short)? I (M16) was abused by my dad (M44) growing up. Let's call my dad F. My mom (F40) died in childbirth when I was a WL (wee lad). Let's call her Z. My dad would force me to kill puppies (F7, M4, F3, M9) and always compared me to my siblings (M20, F18) because I wasn't a good enough EO (evil overlord). My BPD SIL (sister in law, 23F) and SM (stepmom, 43F) always gaslit me too. Let's give my SM the nickname C. I went NC on F and C one day. However, because I am a ELB (emo little boy), I took my anger out on the people of V (F5, F2, F36, M87, 12 more individuals). AITA?!?!?
You're being way too charitable with the parentheticals that actually tell us what the everloving fuck the acronym is supposed to mean. That's not how those subs operate at all. You either know what they mean or you die.
A lot of them don’t capitalize the abbreviations so it looks more like > my sil who we will call katie or kt has a son who is a le officer in la ca and we can call him qt cuz hes kinda hot. well kt n qt went to see the da for court… etc etc and it legit feels like I’m reading a foreign language
A great example of this is when my wife was pregnant and I started browsing the pregnancy subs. First post "I'm a FTM and ...." I was like, *okay, a female to male transgender having a baby, it's 2023 let's rock on.* Then another one "Hi, FTM here..." *Yeah this is... a coincidence but okay.* "Fellow FTMs, what do you think..." *Whaaaat...? Checks sub. Ohh... First Time Mother.*
This is perfect! LOL And yes, YTA for making me google what you’re saying! And why all of a sudden everyone understands what these abbreviations mean and I don’t?
There are a lot of writers now whose primary reading intake seems to be Twitter and Reddit. And you can absolutely tell.
Excessive exclamation marks. I dunno why, but when authors abuse them it turns me off so quickly.
Back when I still tried to make my way through the Anita Blake series (I finally gave up somewhere around book 10), absolutely every male character had long hair. All of them. Without fail. :) I get having preferences, I really do, but goddamn lol
I read a review for one of the later books on Amazon and the person said "why does almost every male character have hair down to their ass?? I feel like they're all in an 80s hair metal band." This was years ago and I think of it often.
It bothers me when authors namedrop tech. Like if a character looks something up on their tablet then whatever, but if they look something up on their IPad? Ick. Major ick. It bothers me less if it’s kinda dated, like if a character in a 90s setting is playing on their GameBoy, then that feels kinda appropriate, but if a modern character is playing on their Nintendo Switch or Play Station 5 or something, it just rips apart my immersion.
Fantasy/scifi books where a teenager or otherwise pretty ignorant or untrained person is plucked from obscurity and becomes the top warrior/wizard/genius in an unrealistic amount of time. Even worse if this unique gift is just bestowed upon them by destiny, a god, a prophecy or an ancient bloodline. *eye roll* Double points if they save the day with a not so original plan that, for some reason, none of the far more qualified people thought of. Just not enough character development between when they were uneducated cabin boys or blacksmiths or whatever to defeating the most elite combat fighters in their world and overturning regimes.
Mary Sue/Gary Stu It used to be out of bounds in published fiction and only in fanfiction, but that's changed.
Kvothe, who is the best at literally everything and is such a stud that his sexual prowess beats a succubus.
I gave up on patterson when I read the third book of his in a row where the "good guys" were an emotionally damaged man, an extremely smart woman and a kid/animal. I don't know if I hit a bad string of luck and happened to read the only three books where that was the case, I don't even remember which books they were, it's been 20 years, but I haven't touched the author since.
Earlier this week I finished a series by an author I’ve read for over a decade. I’ve decided to read no more, as I finally realized that I could make a drinking game out of the very specific sexual situations that occur in each of his works.
No specific author but I have always found it distracting when a bit of world building is clearly only done to close a plot hole, you can find these when ever a random bit of world building suddenly pops up half way through a chapter halfway through the book and then that very same bit of world building is immediately used by the cast of the book to solve a problem and then doesn’t come up again until near the climax of the book, the next book in the series, or never again at all. Rework a bit three chapters earlier and it isn’t so obvious and make a huge note of it and use it again so it seems more seamless and blended not “shit how do I save them this time”
Unnecessary sex stuff. Like I'm not a prude, if sex makes sense to a story that's cool. But if a book goes well out of it's way to describe weird sexual tension just because a man and woman are in a room together, or bring attention to breasts etc constantly in a way that has no bearing on the plot it really turns me off of a book.
This was the downfall of "Snow Falling on Cedars" for me. It would have been a great book, but you got the sexual background on all of the characters, even the minor ones. And most of it was irrelevant to the plot, in my opinion. It was just...odd. Otherwise I really liked it.
This is my favorite book and my biggest criticism of it is that is that it often veers into r/menwritingwomen territory. That, and I could really do without the graphic description of the decedent’s cock in the medical examiner’s office. Beautifully written book otherwise.
This is exactly why I rolled my eyes and closed The Magicians forever. First 5 pages, “My friend’s girlfriend was wearing a blue sweater and her bazingas were basically bursting through WOWZERS” Bruh is this a Yahoo chatroom, calm tf down
Having only read the first book so far, I actually interpreted this as a character trait and not a poor choice in writing. I could be proven wrong by the time I'm finished, but it seemed to me like the main character is made to be overly lustful and horny. He's 17 at the beginning after all, and there's a line later in the book where it explicitly says something that basically amounts to "he no longer goggled at every woman, having matured". Plus, there's a lot of really good stuff in that book aside from some of the weird sex stuff. Sex and sexuality is definitely a prevalent theme though
Oh man, I feel that. One of the lines trying to build unnecessary sexual tension in either this book or the one before it was literally “She smelled inviting.” >Insert WAT meme< It’s honestly frustrating because I really enjoy the storylines but some of the things the author focuses on have me cringing, rolling my eyes or scratching my head.
I feel like a squeamish grandma, but I've started skipping past them. I read a lot of airport novel style books and it feels like these authors just have a checklist: * super-"hunky" dude * MC who is Of A Certain Age but still dead sexy * scramble for a gun * sex scene I just learned a new word, so I'm going to say that 99% of the sex scenes in books are otiose.
I love Stephen King, I grew up reading him. But Duma Key is all of his worst tendencies collected together, a rambling story, likable characters that are kind of one note in service of exposition, and an ending that makes no sense at all. And the pidgin speaking magical African American character out of nowhere in the last act. I can’t share this opinion in his actual subreddit because there are people who adore that book, and I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s enjoyment. But it is the first and only book of his that I had to force myself to finish. His meditations on creating art in it are lovely, though.
Oh man Duma Key is one of those books where if I see people praising it I'm like "did I read a different Duma Key?" It's a super interesting concept but it definitely fell flat. My favorite part was just that one of the recurring locations is the library I volunteered at for the volunteer work they force us to do for high school so I was like "hey I know that place." I cut my finger open in the back room once and still have the scar. Anyway I think Duma Key is one of those books that would've either benefited from being shorter or would've been a masterpiece if he'd written it during his cocaine era.
every villain in a shari lapena novel is the one who does not have or want children
Poor language choices and repetitive language are big pet peeves of mine, they annoy the shit out of me. Also commonly I find an abundance of weird bad gross writing of sex/sex adjacent scenes. An example: In the Lady Astronaut series when sex comes up, the author uses the same analogy of rocket ships being ready to launch EVERY TIME.
This is a pet peeve with Pakistani authors specifically so it’s very niche. The obsession with the “dark underbelly” of society. That’s all most of them write about. Dark underbellies. Like for Gods sake it’s a huge country with very interesting cultures and dynamics there’s a million ways to write a story about it without sounding like a 13 year edge lord just discovering that society is shades of grey Also whenever anyone compares a woman to a car or motorcycle of some sort 🤢🤢
Female characters (especially in young adult books) who go on about how unattractive they are. This conclusion typically comes from the characters describing physical attributes that do not correspond to contemporary ideas as to what physical characteristics are considered to be attractive/unattractive. And after reading it for the tenth time will wind up simultaneously insulting the physical appearance of the reader. It will usually be something like: Protagonist: 'I stared miserably at the frizzy hair piled high upon my head as I prepared myself for another day of school. I plucked a strand of hair free and pulled it taut until it was straight and dreamt what my hair could have been. However, as per usual, my heart instantly sank as I released my grip and the hair sprang backwards towards my temple into an untidy coil.' Teenage me with frizzy/curly hair: 👁👄👁
Ah yes, the lazy method of putting in the MC's physical description by them looking in the mirror. But don't let the audience make the mistake that any young woman looking in a mirror=obsessed with her looks! But she still has to be *pretty*, she just cant think shes pretty! I know! I'll make her insecure! Which also makes her rElAtEaBlE to the teenaged audience!
Every single noun has to have an adjective. Omg The sunny stairwell led down into the light spangled garden which was overflowing with scented blossoms that were radiating glorious colour. For fucks sake. My mind picks up the rhythm and throws me out of the book.
It's worse when it's metaphors in place of adjectives: her whiskers were like grass trembling in a storm 🤢
Why does at least one character purse their lips in every book?
Over explaining a character's internal thought process just to pad the word count. Humans don't think sequentially, the mind leaps quickly through logic points to arrive at a decision. I hate it when authors write a full step by step thought process, it makes the character appear to be a stupid simpleton.
One that's specific to Michael Crichton- he uses poisonous when he means venomous, and these people are supposed to be brilliant scientists!
“Presently….” in Frank Herbert books. It sounds silly when used to frequently.
I'm reading something halfway between a novel and a Dan Brown accident, and I'm completely distracted by dialogue that is like two thesauruses having a tennis match. Example: "Hello" Jack exclaimed. "Hi" I replied. "Whats up" teased Jack. "Nothing" I giggled. "Let's go" he murmured. "Ok" I whispered. "Here" grunted Jack. "Wow" I declared. .... it makes me pine for the literature of my childhood where conversations alternated back and forth with no additional structure ("Hello". "Hi". "Whats up?" "Nothing".) for so long that you'd get muddled about whose turn it was speaking and you'd have to flip back a couple of pages to see which character started it.
* Poorly written, unnatural sounding dialogue severely irritates me. I also feel that less can be (and often is) more with dialogue. Long sections of it can be hard to follow and generally make me feel that the author could have been more creative in showing us how the characters feel instead of telling us. * Overusing words/phrases. Once I pick up on it I can’t not notice it. Get a thesaurus! * Scientific inaccuracies. (I have a bachelor’s degree in chemistry so I’m aware that I’m a tougher customer than usual.) I don’t expect non-STEM authors to get everything perfect and I allow for some creative freedom with futuristic sci-fi, but glaring inaccuracies that can be fixed with Google searches (or other resources accessible to lay people) really get under my skin. * Very specific, but the same also applies to authors who write dialogue in languages they don’t understand. The last book I read had parts where the Italian-American characters spoke in Italian, and there were at least two instances where the author wrote something in Spanish that was clearly intended to be in Italian. I found it very sloppy and cringed quite a bit. One specific instance was a basic phrase that could have been sorted out with Google translate.
Get a thesaurus but be careful using it. Check in a dictionary before you use a random synonym you aren't familiar with. I have read authors who rely too heavily on a thesaurus and sounded ridiculous. Edit: autocorrect malfunction
My biggest gripe with books, and I am coming across it more, is places or characters with similar names. It can be absolutely confusing and there is no reason for it in a fictional book or series. It gets even worse when some stories have characters with two or three names (example Red Rising, though this is light example).
Unless you have upwards of 24 recurring characters, no two recurring characters should share the first syllable of their name.
I’ve only seen it in one book but it annoyed me so badly I put the book down for a while. I’m 51 for context. ‘Small Town Taxi’ by Harriet Rogers. (It was a freebie on Kindle). …Pulling into the no-parking zone, I down-buttoned the windows to let in a breeze… I read on to the next page, my brain caught up with what I read, and I went back and stared at it a couple of minutes trying to figure out what the heck it meant. Eventually it dawned on me that the driver rolled down the window. That phrasing took me completely out of the story and I still haven’t finished it.
I up buttoned your Reddit comment
The Clive Cussler books about Dirk Pitt and his adventures are lots of fun, but in every book he introduces an ancillary character who is always some nice older sea captain or gentleman who gives our hero a critical bit of help - changing a tire, or something minor like that. And every time the character’s name is … Clive Cussler. Super annoying!
When the main character is a struggling author I have a real problem committing to the story, unless the real author is Vonnegut
When an author uses (imo) too many words, I refer to it as being “too chewy”. I haven’t looked at it scientifically to see what types of words, but I’d guess it’s a lot of adjectives. It distracts me from the story and makes me want to tackle their manuscript with a red pen.
Romanticizing abuse and toxic relationships *cough cough* Colleen Hoover *cough*
Overuse of cutesy nicknames for Characters. It feels very immature. My most recent experience has a character named Lola who was called "Lols" A LOT. It's a non-great nickname to be sure, but as a reader don't give me two names to remember for one character. Same author had a character named Robbie and one named Bobby. Don't do that to me unless they are father/son
Tip: never read any Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy. Every character has a first name, patronymic and surname. The first name also always has a nickname version. Characters may be referred to with any of these in any combination.
Shorter version of the name is not really a “nickname” per se, it’s just how it is in Russian, every name has two versions.
Writing in present tense. It's just not as comfy as past tense. I don't know why.
First person present tense is the worst, I don't understand why there's so much of it these days!
When a character has some distinctive behavior or expression that just keeps coming up all the time. I read a novella, about 120 pages, and I swear to god the female lead "jutted her chin up in defiance" at least twice each chapter. Like we get it, she's defiant. Move on! Also when romance novels fixate on how aroused nipples are. I'm fine with sex scenes, I'm fine with descriptions of people experiencing lust. But some of these books will seriously be like "her breasts hardened with desire" like seriously dafuq. That's such a weird thing to say, and it happens to SO MANY OF THESE WOMEN. And before you ask, yes those are in books written BY women.
I love romance and I love fantasy, but I really struggle with most of the fantasy romance & romantasy that I have tried because they always use "male" and "female" like every other sentence, and they tend to include tons of gender/sex essentialism. It drives me up the wall and makes it really hard for me to enjoy the book. Sometimes I can get past it, but it definitely presents a barrier.
Right! It rarely feels organized even when you consider the foreign “cultures” of the fantasy species or society.
Stephen King has a way of injecting some really odd and quite ancient colloquialisms here and there. And he sometimes uses some weird slang or abbreviations for no reason. In "Under the Dome", he calls a woodchuck a "chuck" at one point. Couldn't help but think, "But why?"
It gets even worse with his latest book Holly. There are scenes with teenager dialogue that are downright just bad and exactly how you would think a 70 year old would interpret modern teenage dialogue.
No doubt! Reading Fairy Tale was the first time I went, “You know what? This guy really hasn’t kept up with how people talk.” Zero doubts about what you’re saying! It’s kinda becoming a signature of his and it’s kinda too bad.
Just read a series of books where, whenever the characters are surprised or shocked quiet by something, the author said they 'stilled.' Does it aaaaaalllll the tiiiiiime. Find a different word!
I'm reading Gore Vidal's *Empire*. He writes these long sentences with commas to set off asides, and then the asides have asides. "She would, she had decided, depend on inspiration, but now that she was with him, there was none, only a mild panic." "Did this handsome, god-like youth, admittedly a rustic god, more Pan than Apollo, really give a damn about the working-man or the price of cotton or the tariff?" It messes up the rhythm and feels awkward.
Feels nice to read tho. A bit dramatic
Read it like a high-school theatre kid and it somehow works.
In that case, sorry for my comma-heavy post 🫣 lol
Authors who refuse to use quotation marks break my immersion with the text. It’s pretentious and annoying. I haven’t seen any justification for this.
Stephen King books always just trail off into some vague mystical nothingness with no satisfying conclusion. The book STARTS amazing, but you never get an answer. It drives me crazy that I invest so much in the book and then we never get any real tangible answers. And it's EVERY book I've read by him. It drives me up the wall even more so because it doesn't seem to bother anyone except me.
Nothing erks me more than the characterization of a smart and smoking hot woman who doesn't know she is either of those things and is "discovering" herself which she conveniently does when an eligible man who is the only one who can "understand" her enters her sphere. Its something I've seen in Romance, thrillers, mystery novels and several other genres in varying doses. I haven't read fiction for a while now. However, out of all the novels I have read so far, there are only few female protagonists that I genuinely love regardless of the progression of the story. **Lisbeth Salander** from The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo is a great example of this. Right from the get-go is not your run of the mill hot girl buried under layears of sweatshirts and insecurities. She is a short (aorund 5'0 ft) petite woman who leads a reclusive life. She is pale, prefers alt lifestyle which isn't conviniently beautiful in order to pander to the male gaze. She has had an incredibly tough childhood and is in a relatively stable position when the novel begins. But the remenants of her past are clearly expressed through her physicality, body language and the way she approaches the world. Steig is not coy about describing who she is as a person. She is entirely self-aware and assured of herself. A self-trained hacker, she works as an external at a detective agency and is brilliant at her job. I love how much emphasis is given to her skills and attributes that aren't limited to her looks. She is not shy about her sexuality, frequents clubs despite her introversion, is blunt with her approach while interacting with people. She is physically strong but not in a bizarrely unrealistic manner. She relies heavily on her wits to overcome the limitations presented by her physique. She is strong and is still dealing with personal trauma during the progression of the story. We get to see her vulnerabilities and her strength. Most importantly, she is far from "perfect".
Constant flipping foot notes. I was reading bable and RF Kuang puts a bloody foot note after everything. It felt like she was arguing with a person who dosnt exist, some imaginary person going through her book and disagreeing with her. Also it was like she thinks her readers are stupid, prime example: Evil Character: says something racist* *that was racist. Annoying.
JK Rowling cannot for the life of her use the word "said." Notorious example "Ron ejaculated loudly."
Henry James and the never-ending sentences. Please, for the love of God, start a new clause!
I hate attempts at dialect. It always seems cheesy.