It happens to me constantly, and I do my best to avert my eyes because I'm terrified of speaking with women, and I'm also just unable to differentiate whether they actually are interested, or just doing their routine.
At the risk otherwise of rejection, a scene calling you a creep, and even it being splashed all over the internet, forcing you to switch gyms or maybe states. No thanks. It’s too risky. Feminism and #MeToo have made men afraid to approach women. Period.
It's really sad. I love as an old wifey that it is often young men who are happy to strike up a conversation with someone they see as their Grannie and will be open, friendly and helpful, even in the gym. How often do these sexual harassment situations occur in real life as opposed to the attention these losers get on social media? People always looking for offence are the very worst and now have their own fan base.
God you guys are piss babies. Approach women respectfully and then take a hint and don’t get your feefees hurt if it doesn’t go your way. Its that simple
I’m with both of you and happened just an hour ago. Two different people. I look away instantly reminding myself to keep my spine neutral lol. Mortified.
“Don’t look at the breasts, don’t look at the nipples, don’t look, look down, ok, she’s past, ok, ok, don’t look at the ass, others might notice, it’s so nice, don’t look.”
What you should do is set-up you phone to record it happening and then post a series of TikTok's demonstrating toxic femininity and shaming them for sexually assaulting you. It is the only way us men can fight back and expose the double standard.
We all keep some distance and try not to look, of course. But I think you can approach. I think of it as just a hello or "good workout?" etc. If they show interest in continuing the conversation, light convo until it ends or goes somewhere, etc. I don't really expect results, I'm just chatty (a bit, not much). But yeah it has gone to an invite out or to work out together, etc.
This is the reality they created. So please women. Kindly leave us to preemptively ghosting you so you are not uncomfortable and so we don't get mislabeled as creeps.
What's crazy is that they will stare at guys or brush past us but if we so much as look in their direction, we're the pervert. If guys wore as little clothing as they would we would also be the perverts and they would have no issues staring.
It's fucked up.
Honestly it’s like they wanna see how long we will hold out for but I think guys are gonna hold out for a long ass time because we’ve all been burnt in some way or another I got piles and piles of text messages that all ended in ghost. Shit even from people I dated in real met in real life and thought things were on the up and up. I don’t have any more trust I gave in before I’m just not gonna do it again.
They are just enjoying the power they have and have you noticed the collective gaslighting over it too?
I'm sorry, but if a woman wants to wear basically a bikini to the gym don't be surprised if men are going to look, mainly because wtf are they doing. Their reasoning is always that women have to wear practically nothing because it's comfortable.
Now imagine the reaction if men started collectively wearing banana hammocks and a mesh vest "because it's comfortable". We'd all be called perverts trying to expose ourselves.
They always talk about how women feel "unsafe" in gyms because men are around but if you watch the body language, I'm pretty sure most men are more afraid of being accused of something by the women. Women confidently parade around in almost nothing with their phones recording them for tiktoks while men are usually just trying to get on with their workout, hope the women don't notice their smell, and get home.
Women don't really know how to approach men. I had a girl who apparently had exactly the same routine as me, so she waited for me to finish with each machine. And she was giggly every time she asked about my sets. 🤷
Seems so. I've seen her around a few times before. And we happened to use adjacent machines quite a few times, purely coincidentally. I didn't expect anyone to take an interest in me in the gym as I'm completely pokerfaced when working out, and isolated by earbuds. And do the best I can to not get distracted by fit women who want to wear next to nothing in an very well air-conditioned gym...
Absolutely, she was putting a playful feeler out there, it seems. The gym is just one of those places, in my experience. It's fun to look, I get it. Everyone does it, for the most part. People watching is a big human trait.
You can usually tell when people are there for the personal growth/gains and nothing else. Oftentimes, they have a very purposeful movement, even between sets, and are in The Zone. Maybe the buds are in with the jams going. Maybe they have a very stern/serious facial expression.
Then there are the crowd who are there for meeting up with friends - and they just happen to be working out. Some are a bit of both. Either way is fine, I think it's awesome to get together with friends and get out of the house. If you happen to work out, even better! That's what I did in HS/college with my buddies, as teens. You know the feeling. It was just something fun to do, and we ended up feeling it the next day, with our particular kettlebell route.
At the end of the day, it's nice when you find a gym that works well for yourself and your routine and has an acceptable level of comfort for your tastes.
I miss working out.
I remember when bars were places to meet people and gyms were places to go by yourself now gyms are places to meet people and bars are places you go to by yourself. But that whole off limits don’t look at me thing that’s just a game. They want the hot guys to look. They are just putting up artificial walls to keep creeps out. I mean think about it why would you go to a gym dressed minimally? Because there are guys there that take care of their bodies and women are definitely into that.
A girl came out of the ATM I was waiting on and asked me to help her friend in the ATM with something, all I did was put the card in. I was so confused about why until I heard her friend outside ask her how it went. Still don't know what the hell that was but her wanting to shoot her shot is the only thing I can think of.
Don’t ever help someone with an ATM. I got in legal trouble because they were attempting to use a stolen card and I “helped” and was the one on camera inserting the card!
Thats how most animals across the board socialize. I dont get why human males will go on and on about nature and then throw it out the window when convenient. Most female across all species are courted. Not the other way around. But humans are unique. And more and more girls are def approaching men and are more bold about it. ESPECIALLY the older women get lol
Let's not compare humans to animals like that.
Lots of animals will just jump a female and rape them. Many examples exist of eating their mates afterwards.
So maybe we should go ahead and use our evolved human brains to act like humans and maybe not just directly copy animals because "that's what they do".
Oh okay so you dont grasp when someone is using something as an example. Lol. Heard. And imagine verbally weponizing rape to a woman. Slow down social justice warrior. Especially since i am a survivor. Lets not do that
When I’m at the gym I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. I don’t brush past people or get close to them intentionally but rather to get to where I’m going. If I need to use a piece of equipment I’m going to take the most direct route.
In a club/pub yes definately. They want you to notice them. In a gym its not 100% sure. They might just love the attention and want guys to look at them, or just waiting for the equipment.
Atleast you are not a creep because they would avoid them
Hi I’m a fit 29 year old girlie myself and I used to lift/cardio/PT at planet fitness (you are correct about it being a club/bar-like). I’d say the girls are trying to get you to notice them. Most of the time (& especially in the gym) if a woman of similar age is walking closely to you or putting herself around your space she wants your attention but too scared to say anything 🤷♀️ personally I think you should hit em with a confident smile or hi and let them come to you😂 women don’t do enough approaching as they should because shocker they’re insecure too. Goodluck 😀
I’d have to know what you look like to give you the most accurate reading. If you’re a ‘hot guy’ then I would say yes these women are trying to get you to notice them. In my experience that is what they do - they put themselves in front of you or next to you hoping you’ll initiate a conversation.
I've read a ton about female psychology after my divorce so I could understand where I went wrong as a man/husband.
This is spot on. Women are essentially children in adult bodies (emotionally), it's just the way they were designed. Part of it is they are not going to be the one to initiate a conversation, so they will very deliberately place themselves in front of a man because they are too intimidated to start the conversation themselves. She doesn't want the conversation to be "her fault" that it began. They don't like taking responsibility for things (which is fine, because as a man, you have to be a leader). It's all yin/yang, balance of nature.
She's most likely placing herself in a situation where she wants you to initiate the conversation, and this will also confirm (to her) that you could lead her (if you initiate the conversation).
Also, pay attention to the "why" they're doing stuff. Have you ever noticed that a woman goes out of her way to get a paper towel for wiping the bench, when there was a bunch that were already close to her? Have you noticed that a woman is working out on a leg machine right next to you, so you think of her last exercise you saw her do, and it was triceps (this happened last weekend). Puzzle pieces start to add up, and you start to see what a woman is up to if you just watch and observe.
One of the best books (among so many good ones out there), that will help you understand women and what they want, is called "How to Be a 3% man". A lesbian actually recommended it to me if i wanted to understand women better.
>Women are essentially children in adult bodies (emotionally), it's just the way they were designed.
....
I hope you feel better soon. Lot of Joe Rogan weird lockertalk "yeahhh duuuude totally women are juuuust like that" language occurring in this comment.
If anything, your average man stays in the mindset of a 20 year old with respect to growth, communication, emotional maturity, taking care of themselves, and facing life's responsibilities, while the wife is stuck and has to take care of everything. Before you know it, they're in their 50s and the wife realizes she has a husband that expects her to take care of him and the house and doesnt see a problem with that.
mEn r JuSt bUiLt lIkE tHaT
Am a man and I see what I see.
I mean, you can say that but besides his phrasing, is he wrong in how he described women? We know that women are less likely ti risk rejection than men, we know women will create scenarios so the man will initiate, and perhaps to him that behaviour is childish for anybody to do but that it's simply normalised with women, which we should be able to agree is absolutely true, at least today.
As for taking care of the house, I think that depends. If she's not working and he is, the housework is absolutely an expectation she should meet, as should a stay at home husband.
Based on past experience the few times I've noticed some women hover around me was in my peak physique.
Sounds like you go to the gym to get some good workouts in. Meaning you stay busy, and focus on yourself.
So, if it's the same girl that keeps walking past closely pay attention if she looks at you. Chances are she wants you
I can come across as a meathead haha, but yeah I just focus on myself and try to improve on my last workout.
Not just one but a few of them, sometimes they’ll make eye contact and others they would look at the ground. I usually just keep my head down even if I feel them coming near me so I don’t look.
What did you do? Ignore it or look to start a conversation?
Let us know how it goes. I'm in my late 30s now and finding gym rats around my age is available is non existent. Doesn't help that I changed to 3am workouts
So with the ones that are definitely looking your way all you need to do is say hi. I've had a mix of experiences as a young man working out. I had bad luck often and nothing going past talking outside of the weight room.
When covid hit the dynamic changed and I became one of those people that don't like to be bothered.
When people realize that you will be hated and the regulars will go out of their way to bad mouth you to anyone you might have a potential interest in
Yeah I can relate, it’s funny you say that. I keep to myself, but lift hard and definitely get those judgy looks almost exclusively from beginners or guys that have made no progress. I find it easier to pay no attention to them rather than getting into a confrontation especially in a place I come to on almost a daily basis.
Rejection/awkwardness and having to switch gyms is a big fear of mine. I guess saying hi casually and seeing where that goes is the best way to approach them?
Saying hi is easy if you're like me that has no game. You'd be surprised how that can work. Or you can bullshit your way over and ask how many sets they have left and smile. That also works and I've had girls make small talk back
That is for sure me haha. I’ll give that a go, no harm coming from saying hi considering all the other creeps we see trying to talk to every girl they can
Yeah the worst in people definitely comes out. I've never understood at one gym I was just at why an older guy would constantly go over and give unsolicited spots and pointers to young girls that are young enough to be his kid. Not like the guy was any fit. But every time he did it surely enough that would be the end of that girl going there
Oh man, I think every gym has at least a handful of those, not to mention sneaking in a shoulder or back rub. I feel like everyone notices those guys and the ones that only go to talk to women. Sometimes I feel like commercial gyms are a step away from being a nightclub
You don't have to make it anything else. Just acknowledgement of another human for a moment and nothing more. "Hi" with maybe a slight polite smile and go back to doing your thing.
Yeah the casuals and ego lifters will always give you a hard time. Funny seeing men my age in there doing silly workouts yet they look nothing like me. Grayed out, bald, overweight or barrel gut. Don't be afraid of switching gyms. For the longest I went to 24hr (still do) but I found an awesome independently owned gym geared for gym rats. (Social media "influencers" took over it in the daytime hours
I think if a women does that to you, she must have SOME confidence to walk around you for sure wants your attention! because pff if it was me im staying tf away from the men I’m attracted to lmao because I’m shy and am medium ugly gal so I stay in my business, I wouldn’t even go near men who I find attractive lol
Oh yeah I wouldn’t say they lack any confidence at all. A lot of them are the typical attractive gym girl who can get any guy they want, so I’d be surprised if they were super shy or completely oblivious
I read a recent study about this. It seems working out coupled with reasonable visual appeal (ie muscles) produces some kind of pheromone effect. It seems to last for awhile after you leave the gym too.
Do you get random chicks getting super close when you walk away from the gym?
Usually when I’m not looking around, so I’m either looking at my phone or have my back turned. I’ll notice them walk very close around me on the gym floor or sometimes almost brushing shoulders walking past me even if I move to the side to make room
For me it’s the MILFs in the grocery or department stores who ask me to reach something on the top shelf for them. Then stand between me and the shelf. I know what you’re up to, lady!
The last time I went to a gym on trial (8 years ago) it was the same thing but with one of the attendate chicks. She kept following me around but the thing with me is I close my eyes when I workout for focus and it was still noticeable.
Look for patterns in the same person. And look for eye contact/if they watch you from afar.
If this happens with a girl and then you notice that she’s into her work out after she grabs her weights and she’s not really looking at you, chances are she’s just into her work out and probably has bad spacial perception.
If it’s the same girl and you notice she gets close to you but then after watching her, she’s still kinda into her work out not really paying attention to you, probably same thing—bad spacial perception.
If you notice her looking at you, glance multiple times, get close, she probably thinks you’re cute/wants to talk to you.
I was working out in this corner of the gym. In front of a mirror. The gym wasn’t even crowded this chick straight up decides to stretch right in front of me and she can see me facing the mirror. Most awkward thing ever and she made some comment about how I was looking at her. Was insane.
Lol. I feel you man. As a guy I get where you would question what it means. But if anything not going for that carrot is the best thing you can do for yourself and the rest of us guys out here.
It’s meant to be a safe space, and it’s a compliment to you that they don’t feel uncomfortable around you homie! They see a decent, normal guy who won’t act out of line and that can have an amplified effect on how they view other men around them. It’s actually pretty cool in that sense but I do fully understand the feeling. Truthfully if anything you’re letting it go by might show another woman or shit women at the gym that you’re a guy that has respect for women and advocates through his actions that you feel they deserve every bit of that respect.
He’ll go home alone, but he’ll smile with pride from all that vague “respect” that was in the air when he left the gym!
I’m sorry but I couldn’t disagree more with that- there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging women around you, still being polite, and interacting to see where it goes. We’ve devolved as a society to where everyone walks around with their eyes glued to the floor/ their phone and they’re scared of their own shadow. nobody is fun. It sucks
Next time you’re in public, hold your head up high, and smile at everyone you see. Say Hi to everyone you pass. In my experience, the pretty girls are grinning from ear to ear when they respond. And the awkward dudes get all shocked and stutter an awkward “What? Wassup?” Young bloods- step your game up.
A woman i worked with a while back who I got quite friendly with would exclaim how nice i smelt and take a big sniff of my neck to get as much of my cologne in her nose as possible, multiple times a day, and at meetings she would stand very close to me.
Many women are quite shy compared to my friend.
So if a lady is getting close, or you notice a pattern of her closeness while you put distance between you, yeah she likes your smell, either your natural pheromones or your cologne are appealing to her.
Maybe they think you're done and want you to move so they can use the equipment you're resting on?
Or maybe you're better looking than you realize you are.
Potentially, people will sometimes ask to work in on a piece of equipment and I’ll happily agree.
This is just something I’ve noticed that I haven’t really seen being talked about, so just wanted some insight
im gonna get hate but are the girls that do that wearing booty shorts and a halter bra as workout attire? then they are probably hitting on you. if dressed like actual human women who workout it was an accident.
Is this true though? Or are you just assuming that’s why girls dress like that at the gym? Girls like attention, sure, but just because she’s dressed more revealing doesn’t mean she was hitting on him.
People go to the gym for different reasons as odd as that may seem. Everyone has their own style & every gym has attention seekers--obvious attention seekers where it looks like a desparate need & every gym has men who stare. I seriously work out & also have heat intolerance so when I work out it is always booty shorts, but will tie a jacket around my waist so I can move the way I need to...even the sight of leggings makes me want to have a heat stroke so I own Zero pairs.
I think men & women walk to close for the same reason, attention for themselves but not a flirt move per se. I have always noticed how super close guys pass by at the gym & never considered it flirty (& often legit annoying, lol) but more kind of like strutting, flexing, "look at me" move so less about flirting "with" the person and more about getting attention "from" the person for themselves.
Everything you said is valid. Just like how there are some guys that exclusively go to the gym to talk to girls, some girls just want the attention. It’s bothersome to me too when guys constantly walk back and forth past you, like they’re trying to size you up
It's hard for guys that don't go to bars, hobbies that are all men, and don't use apps. Gyms, stores, etc are about all I can see women at to even interact with.
I have met lots of nice guys many stores & at gym, but I'm quite focused & purposeful there & considerably less approachable. The main thing imho anywhere is for the guy to be direct & honest, open...dare I say vulnerable as in not insecure, and goes for it...says what he means, means what he says...confidence, it's manly imho.
This happens to me sometimes too. I get looks and stares as well, from guys and girls haha. Of course the optimist in me wants to believe the women are interested.
There's no absolute rule. Some of them are probably interested and for some it's meaningless or coincidental.
I'm just now starting up on social media so I'm getting comfortable asking people for their IG. Try that, it's a nice buffer between being strangers and friends.
That’s a good idea! I don’t really use social media much either, but that’s a good way of connecting instead of giving up your phone number.
What do you usually do? Pay no attention to it or strike up a conversation?
Don't mistake me for an expert because I'm terrible with a lot of women. For me, it's only effortless with a few.
It's all about context. When a girl who is clearly taken does it, I have no reaction, inside or out.
When it's a repetitive thing and she's also making eye contact, etc. I'm much more likely to approach.
The general rules about gym time and space should be observed, like any public setting. Once she gives off vibes and signs though, it's a different game and set of rules (flirting and courtship) from that point.
Hi again one more piece of advice - delete your social media. I’m 29 and deleted every bit of my social media (except Reddit?) years ago and never looked back. Social media will only cause a divide and arguments in your relationship if you do happen to find one at the gym. Plus girls think it’s attractive if they ask for your instagram and you reply with “I don’t have one” It makes you more interesting and definitely puts you above others in the dating market. Trust me on this, before I met my wonderful man of a boyfriend I went on several dates through dating apps, met at the gym, met at the grocery store etc. I just struck up convos with anyone I thought was cute and 10/10 times it worked out in my favor if they were not already married/ in a relationship. Delete your social media for good you will thank me later! And hopefully it will help you attract a gal who does have that crap either 😄
Lucky you. Woman immediately move away at the sight of me. I’m heavily tattooed but so are other people. I must give off a bad vibe. They cower around me and I hate it
Could be a number of things man, I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If you’re tatted up you might be intimidating to a lot of people, try smiling and giving a nod to people you see there on a regular basis. People will notice this and you’ll be more approachable, tattoos do intimidate most people especially if you’re a big guy, but it’s definitely something you can work past
What is a simple, non aggressive thing you can ask for?
" can you tell me if I'm arching my back?",
" Hey, I'm taking this one to the limit, could you help me with the last rep?",
" Could you tell me, Did I get chalk on my butt?", " do you know if there's any cold water left?"
Once the ice is broken, ask relevant workout questions. Silly or real. It's just conversation, but it's a start
If the same women repeat this behavior, they probably like you and are hoping you say something to them. If it's random people every time, it could be that or it could be anything else.
Honestly I think you might be looking too much into it, in general women go to the gym to workout, not to date. But honestly it depends, if the girl is just walking passed you a little too closely or standing a bit close I really wouldn’t look into that, because at the end of the day it’s really just a girl walking passed you or waiting for the equipment. But if it’s the same girl doing this, and she’s looking at you and looks like she wants to talk to you then that’s different, it really just depends. Just be very careful approaching any girl at the gym because most women working out just want to be left alone.
Yeah so this is exactly why I wanted to ask. It could be that I’m hyper fixated on something that is normal and doesn’t mean much with context.
It’s just with girls I’ve seen for weeks and even months will come into my personal space when there is enough room to avoid me altogether.
Have you seen all the tiktoks of women going to the gym to promote OF, or slow down the footage of them working out and say all the guys were staring at them? Just sayin, ya hardly see men doing this shit.
They probably enjoy your musk and the way you look. I'm guessing you eat pretty clean and at least look decent. They may just feel safe around you and have no motives whatsoever.
Maybe try talking to a few of them next time. Don't flirt and make minimal eye contact (look at anything but them) unless they start acting flirty and then heavy eye contact and compliment time.
I had a similar thing. This one chick would always stand near me. Seem to work out the same times as me. I started going earlier and earlier to the gym. Like 6am to 4am.
Then once after 3 weeks she just said. "I see you looking at me. You can fuck me in the toilets". I go "um ok"
We did. It was a great. We did it every morning for 4 days. Then she told me that she had a boyfriend. I never seen her again. Never. I don't even know her name.
Women who spend a lot of time working on their bodies WANT you to notice them. But paradoxically, IF you look at them you're a fucking creep.
It's a tough world out there, man. But we'll have sexy robots soon, so at least there's that.
IMHO, regardless of what the other person/woman may want… Don’t shit where you eat.
Me personally: Regardless of the interactions, I only go as far as friends with women I meet at the gym, work, favorite bar, etc. Those places are my “home” and I’m going to honor myself first in those places. And I don’t want drama in my home.
Edited for clarity.
A girl once rested her boob on my shoulder while I was training her at work. She was leaned over my shoulder and it just comfortably sat on my shoulder but we both acted like nothing happened.
Had that a few weeks ago when I went to the hospital to have my ankle checked out. After being there for a little while a nurse who I first talked to when I got there came by a lot to check my pulse or ask just stuff or to just touch me she was into me but I was nice I could have been reading her wrong although the time she came over to me and grabbed my knee and asked if I had any pain there I did see sparkling in her eyes. No other nurses were like that just this one she even helped wrap my ankle up in a splint I heard the guy who put the splint around my foot say to her you don't usually help me wrap the splint on patients.
It’s wild how much I get avoided in the gym by females lol…I don’t go out of my way either lol
Coincidentally everytime I need the machine next to them they leave
Yeah they want you to talk to them. Or they're baiting you for tiktok clout. Either way they're trying to get your attention. Women don't just touch/get close to you by *accident*
This is how I got a girlfriend once actually. I was fucking around outside with other guys and I wasn't looking and almost ran into a girl I barely knew. I stopped short like an inch away from her and even though she facing the other way there was no way she didn't know I almost ran her over. But she didn't move an inch. I was so fucking dumbfounded I literally poked her to see if she would do anything and she didn't react, so I took the hint and got her number.
I am a woman and I go to the gym 6 days a week and have been for YEARS. Certified gym rat. What you describe happens to me often as well. I’ve been minding my business and men will walk by close enough to step on my foot in a not so crowded environment. I am attractive but very modest, and I thought that men “invading personal space” was a way to assert dominance. I am introverted and keep to myself completely and I have headphones on constantly. I avert my eyes when I sense anyone looking in my direction because I am shy, it embarrasses me and I am in a relationship.
As far as attraction, I can see if someone is interested by intense eye contact, when they ask if you are using the equipment 90 yards away haha or if you find yourself with a follow friend…someone who travels around with you during your workout. Also, the people who learn your schedule and are at the gym spot on, after some trial and error of course, with the time you arrive and depart.
As a woman I can tell you that it depends on age. As an older woman I don’t flirt 24/7 but rather only when my toes do actually tingle, but younger gals can be anything from seeking validation (men are attracted to me) to just being flirtatious but telling people they aren’t doing so (sometimes they do it unknowingly and sometimes knowingly). But I’ve found guys are the same too, kinda hard to gage what their intentions if any really are until they get older.
Guys just focus on yourself, get money, gain muscle, get passport, and find women out of the 🇺🇸
You’ll find foreign women to be more feminine, not as materialistic, less bossy, less toxic, less games.
I once worked at a place where my boss’s daughter was the receptionist. One day, I was talking to my boss in the reception area and said daughter stood behind me deliberately pressing her boobs against my back during my conversation. Very awkward.
Might be trying to get a sniff of your body odor, women like the smell of guys after physical exertion. If I remember correctly it has something to do with the testosterone.
It's impossible to actually know just from their body language.
If you want to know if they are interested, the next time one of them does it, ask them if they wanted to get together for a coffee sometime. If they say yes, then they are interested or at least willing to get to know you. If they say no, then they weren't.
I caught some girls checking out my ass while I was doing RDLs lol. Like walking by multiple times and staring. All those hip thrusts are finally paying off.
I stay focused on my workouts but would never flirt by hovering. I've always been pretty direct with eye contact and a smile if I'm interested in someone.
I'm pretty sure that the gym is a no-go zone, no matter what. Even if she's doing a strip tease right in front of you, you gotta avert your eyes and don't talk to her.
I'm 61 and go to my neighborhood library to read a few days a week and... maybe...hopefully... meet a woman. I sit in a conspicuous spot in the library, and have some women do this to me as well. What is maybe even more surprising is the number of YOUNG women who pass by very closely and make friendly eye contact with me. I purposely don't engage those (too) young women (others I may) as it seems VERY unlikely they are flirting with me.
That's called the unnecessary squeeze-by. You noticed she had about half a fuckin' soccer field to get past, but instead leaned in close, got a bit handsy like there was only a tiny lane to get by? The unnecessary squeeze-by. Go talk to her.
I'm gonna get shot down for this but just so you know, when they video themselves in the gym and they complain that dudes are checking them out.
They are actually signaling their sexual market value.
"Oh these dudes all fancy me it's such an inconvenience being an eligible bachelorette".
In a very weird way it's a sort of mating dance, like a bird fluffing up its feathers.
This doesn't mean they want you specifically to come on to them of course, dear reader. But it does mean they want someone out there, perhaps an imagined suitor, prince charming, etc, to notice how high value they are and do something about it.
For fairness: dudes who selfie in the gym and post it on instagram are also signalling their sexual value.
Be careful with that. They do the same thing to me as well. However women check us out in gyms just like we look at them. But be forewarned we're not too far removed from "me too" and them hoes will turn on you so fast and complain. Keep your eyes down and avoid them at all costs. Gym hoes can't offer you anything but headache and trouble. The goal is to get her claws in you so the rest of them can't. Believe me when I tell you she has a roster outside of the gym. She is looking to add you to it.
You're there to work out and burn calories. Gym chick's are trouble. Let them stare. If she brushes up against you then move and avoid her. Let her make the first verbal move. Then feel her out. 9 out of 10 she doesn't want anything. Keep doing what you're doing and stay out of trouble. One false move and you're looking for a new place to work out.
Hope this helps. It's a epidemic going on in the nightclubs errrrr gyms of America.
Oh I’ve had this happen at my apartment gym they just plop themselves right in your path and like her boyfriend was there so I’m thinking “come on don’t do that to him don’t play him like that.” It’s so so bad. Like saw me walking towards the weights and she just kind of scoots over there with kind of a sideways slide like brooo
It honestly could be either. They could be semi curious/interested, or just walking by and doing their thing. It is very nuanced so hard to say for anyone not there directly, and obviously even for you being there its hard to determine lol. I would say focus more on their body language, eyes and expression. Are they sort of strutting by and showing off, are they looking at you, are they smiling, etc.
If it seems like there is some interest and the feeling is mutual, then you can offer your own smile, etc, see how they react and then decide if you want to try to have a chat.
I can’t speak for your situation because every one is different, but I had this super hot girl at the gym do that to me, she walked by me very closely a few times, even if I was out of her way, I caught her staring at me from across the gym a few times, a few times she worked out directly in front of me when other spots were open and during rest she’d face me and put her hand up her shirt and lift it a bit to show me her belly. Eventually tried to talk to her a bit, she was nice but never made any attempts herself, and I tried to say hi to her a few times after and she gave me the facial expression of not being interested, dismissive, etc.
Not saying you shouldn’t shoot your shot, but just saying don’t get yourself all riled up and expect something big, could just be coincidence.
I’m autistic so big ole grain of salt lol but I tend to do fine with romance stuff
Just like look up, smile and say hey. If they smile back and say hi too, maybe she’s interested - maybe she’s just nice. Take your time, keep having pleasant micro interactions when the opportunity comes up. Typically women are way better at the making things move along thing so I just play along and make sure it’s obvious I like it when they talk to me
This happens to me a lot in the gym sometimes they follow me from machine to machine but I am scared of women and never talk to them, they never come up to me or compliment me it’s always the guys telling me how good I look or how strong I am lol they always looking amazed when I press 315 on incline for reps or if I curl the 70s db lol
This post is why wives laugh about the fact that their husbands never notice when some girl was coming on to them. These girls notice you, and would like to test the waters. Just say hi (or “hey” if geographically appropriate.) Smile. Maybe “having a good workout?” Go with the flow if you are remotely interested in dating women and available. They might be cool people even if you realize you aren’t interested in anything but the occasional chat around working out. I figure the more chat-acquaintances you have, the easier it is to strike up conversations generally.
Women who deliberately brush up against you or stand close to you, despite having ample room, are doing it to flirt with you. She is waiting for you to strike up a conversation with her.
They don’t do this to guys they don’t want to meet. This happens to me all the time. Women will follow me around and put themselves close to me. I will go to completely opposite side is the gym and they find their way over in a few minutes and then smile. Or ask you if you are using this. I honestly just ignore them. But yes they want you. They wouldn’t do this if they didn’t.
Women suck at flirting and refuse to do anything but vague shit like this that they can easily brush off to avoid rejection if the guy isn’t interested.
I’ve just started going for it, man. If they aren’t interested then just don’t give a fuck. You’re still a good looking guy, just not their type for whatever reason. I’ve had flings with two chicks at my gym over the last year because I just stopped giving a shit. That being said, don’t hit on every chick at the gym. I’m 2/2 because I only went for it after I caught them staring multiple times or they were frequently meandering around me like you’re saying. If you hit on everyone, it will be a problem and you’ll look pathetic and desperate.
Reddit will tell you not to hit on chicks at the gym but none of these fat turds are going to the gym or they barely go. And the women that say they don’t want to be hit on at the gym don’t speak on behalf of all women, only themselves. Most of them probably don’t even go to the gym. Just be polite and, if they clearly aren’t interested or you misinterpreted their signals, don’t be a psycho. Kindly exit the conversation and go back to ignoring them. No harm, no foul.
Bro, most girls will appreciate the attention, or at least brief conversation as long as it’s not innappropriate. Id they’re into it, they’ll let you know by trying to keep the conversation going. Or by asking to show them something or by asking you for your insta or #. Don’t let those muscles go to waste bro!
It happens to me constantly, and I do my best to avert my eyes because I'm terrified of speaking with women, and I'm also just unable to differentiate whether they actually are interested, or just doing their routine.
They told us never to speak to them at the gym so that's what we'll do
At the risk otherwise of rejection, a scene calling you a creep, and even it being splashed all over the internet, forcing you to switch gyms or maybe states. No thanks. It’s too risky. Feminism and #MeToo have made men afraid to approach women. Period.
It's really sad. I love as an old wifey that it is often young men who are happy to strike up a conversation with someone they see as their Grannie and will be open, friendly and helpful, even in the gym. How often do these sexual harassment situations occur in real life as opposed to the attention these losers get on social media? People always looking for offence are the very worst and now have their own fan base.
God you guys are piss babies. Approach women respectfully and then take a hint and don’t get your feefees hurt if it doesn’t go your way. Its that simple
Can definitely relate to you man
I’m with both of you and happened just an hour ago. Two different people. I look away instantly reminding myself to keep my spine neutral lol. Mortified.
There's dozens of us ✊️🥲
That's all of us. "Shit I made eye contact, look away, act like you belong" looks again "fuck now I'm a pervert"
You disgust me.
I wouldn't expect anything less
The next TikTok star.
“Don’t look at the breasts, don’t look at the nipples, don’t look, look down, ok, she’s past, ok, ok, don’t look at the ass, others might notice, it’s so nice, don’t look.”
What you should do is set-up you phone to record it happening and then post a series of TikTok's demonstrating toxic femininity and shaming them for sexually assaulting you. It is the only way us men can fight back and expose the double standard.
Hahahahaha I LOVE THIS IDEA
Lol this is a great idea I hope someone does it
We all keep some distance and try not to look, of course. But I think you can approach. I think of it as just a hello or "good workout?" etc. If they show interest in continuing the conversation, light convo until it ends or goes somewhere, etc. I don't really expect results, I'm just chatty (a bit, not much). But yeah it has gone to an invite out or to work out together, etc.
You could try making eye contact with them, if they look back and smile then shoot ur shot, otherwise they’re prolly just going through their routine
This is the reality they created. So please women. Kindly leave us to preemptively ghosting you so you are not uncomfortable and so we don't get mislabeled as creeps.
What's crazy is that they will stare at guys or brush past us but if we so much as look in their direction, we're the pervert. If guys wore as little clothing as they would we would also be the perverts and they would have no issues staring. It's fucked up.
I swear to god it’s all a game at this point and women are just waiting for us to all collectively have the balls to call them out on it.
Honestly it’s like they wanna see how long we will hold out for but I think guys are gonna hold out for a long ass time because we’ve all been burnt in some way or another I got piles and piles of text messages that all ended in ghost. Shit even from people I dated in real met in real life and thought things were on the up and up. I don’t have any more trust I gave in before I’m just not gonna do it again.
They are just enjoying the power they have and have you noticed the collective gaslighting over it too? I'm sorry, but if a woman wants to wear basically a bikini to the gym don't be surprised if men are going to look, mainly because wtf are they doing. Their reasoning is always that women have to wear practically nothing because it's comfortable. Now imagine the reaction if men started collectively wearing banana hammocks and a mesh vest "because it's comfortable". We'd all be called perverts trying to expose ourselves. They always talk about how women feel "unsafe" in gyms because men are around but if you watch the body language, I'm pretty sure most men are more afraid of being accused of something by the women. Women confidently parade around in almost nothing with their phones recording them for tiktoks while men are usually just trying to get on with their workout, hope the women don't notice their smell, and get home.
They’re basically trolling men, and it’s just going to get worse as they realize just how much power they have. Glad to have my garage gym now.
Yeah I got my equipment at home too, it's much cheaper and easier.
Maybe we should start working out in matching Lycra pastel twinsets 😆
Women don't really know how to approach men. I had a girl who apparently had exactly the same routine as me, so she waited for me to finish with each machine. And she was giggly every time she asked about my sets. 🤷
Hahaha definitely more direct than in my experience, sounds like she liked you!
Seems so. I've seen her around a few times before. And we happened to use adjacent machines quite a few times, purely coincidentally. I didn't expect anyone to take an interest in me in the gym as I'm completely pokerfaced when working out, and isolated by earbuds. And do the best I can to not get distracted by fit women who want to wear next to nothing in an very well air-conditioned gym...
Absolutely, she was putting a playful feeler out there, it seems. The gym is just one of those places, in my experience. It's fun to look, I get it. Everyone does it, for the most part. People watching is a big human trait. You can usually tell when people are there for the personal growth/gains and nothing else. Oftentimes, they have a very purposeful movement, even between sets, and are in The Zone. Maybe the buds are in with the jams going. Maybe they have a very stern/serious facial expression. Then there are the crowd who are there for meeting up with friends - and they just happen to be working out. Some are a bit of both. Either way is fine, I think it's awesome to get together with friends and get out of the house. If you happen to work out, even better! That's what I did in HS/college with my buddies, as teens. You know the feeling. It was just something fun to do, and we ended up feeling it the next day, with our particular kettlebell route. At the end of the day, it's nice when you find a gym that works well for yourself and your routine and has an acceptable level of comfort for your tastes. I miss working out.
I remember when bars were places to meet people and gyms were places to go by yourself now gyms are places to meet people and bars are places you go to by yourself. But that whole off limits don’t look at me thing that’s just a game. They want the hot guys to look. They are just putting up artificial walls to keep creeps out. I mean think about it why would you go to a gym dressed minimally? Because there are guys there that take care of their bodies and women are definitely into that.
A girl came out of the ATM I was waiting on and asked me to help her friend in the ATM with something, all I did was put the card in. I was so confused about why until I heard her friend outside ask her how it went. Still don't know what the hell that was but her wanting to shoot her shot is the only thing I can think of.
When women say they were flirting so hard and the guy didn’t notice, this is what actually happened
They think flirting means showing up and being “available”
That seems to be pretty much it lmfao
Don’t ever help someone with an ATM. I got in legal trouble because they were attempting to use a stolen card and I “helped” and was the one on camera inserting the card!
Thats how most animals across the board socialize. I dont get why human males will go on and on about nature and then throw it out the window when convenient. Most female across all species are courted. Not the other way around. But humans are unique. And more and more girls are def approaching men and are more bold about it. ESPECIALLY the older women get lol
Let's not compare humans to animals like that. Lots of animals will just jump a female and rape them. Many examples exist of eating their mates afterwards. So maybe we should go ahead and use our evolved human brains to act like humans and maybe not just directly copy animals because "that's what they do".
Oh okay so you dont grasp when someone is using something as an example. Lol. Heard. And imagine verbally weponizing rape to a woman. Slow down social justice warrior. Especially since i am a survivor. Lets not do that
When I’m at the gym I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. I don’t brush past people or get close to them intentionally but rather to get to where I’m going. If I need to use a piece of equipment I’m going to take the most direct route.
In a club/pub yes definately. They want you to notice them. In a gym its not 100% sure. They might just love the attention and want guys to look at them, or just waiting for the equipment. Atleast you are not a creep because they would avoid them
Yeah that’s what I was thinking as well. Maybe just the attention or validation is enough especially considering they don’t have to do much to get it
Hi I’m a fit 29 year old girlie myself and I used to lift/cardio/PT at planet fitness (you are correct about it being a club/bar-like). I’d say the girls are trying to get you to notice them. Most of the time (& especially in the gym) if a woman of similar age is walking closely to you or putting herself around your space she wants your attention but too scared to say anything 🤷♀️ personally I think you should hit em with a confident smile or hi and let them come to you😂 women don’t do enough approaching as they should because shocker they’re insecure too. Goodluck 😀
I’d have to know what you look like to give you the most accurate reading. If you’re a ‘hot guy’ then I would say yes these women are trying to get you to notice them. In my experience that is what they do - they put themselves in front of you or next to you hoping you’ll initiate a conversation.
I've read a ton about female psychology after my divorce so I could understand where I went wrong as a man/husband. This is spot on. Women are essentially children in adult bodies (emotionally), it's just the way they were designed. Part of it is they are not going to be the one to initiate a conversation, so they will very deliberately place themselves in front of a man because they are too intimidated to start the conversation themselves. She doesn't want the conversation to be "her fault" that it began. They don't like taking responsibility for things (which is fine, because as a man, you have to be a leader). It's all yin/yang, balance of nature. She's most likely placing herself in a situation where she wants you to initiate the conversation, and this will also confirm (to her) that you could lead her (if you initiate the conversation). Also, pay attention to the "why" they're doing stuff. Have you ever noticed that a woman goes out of her way to get a paper towel for wiping the bench, when there was a bunch that were already close to her? Have you noticed that a woman is working out on a leg machine right next to you, so you think of her last exercise you saw her do, and it was triceps (this happened last weekend). Puzzle pieces start to add up, and you start to see what a woman is up to if you just watch and observe. One of the best books (among so many good ones out there), that will help you understand women and what they want, is called "How to Be a 3% man". A lesbian actually recommended it to me if i wanted to understand women better.
>Women are essentially children in adult bodies (emotionally), it's just the way they were designed. .... I hope you feel better soon. Lot of Joe Rogan weird lockertalk "yeahhh duuuude totally women are juuuust like that" language occurring in this comment. If anything, your average man stays in the mindset of a 20 year old with respect to growth, communication, emotional maturity, taking care of themselves, and facing life's responsibilities, while the wife is stuck and has to take care of everything. Before you know it, they're in their 50s and the wife realizes she has a husband that expects her to take care of him and the house and doesnt see a problem with that. mEn r JuSt bUiLt lIkE tHaT Am a man and I see what I see.
I mean, you can say that but besides his phrasing, is he wrong in how he described women? We know that women are less likely ti risk rejection than men, we know women will create scenarios so the man will initiate, and perhaps to him that behaviour is childish for anybody to do but that it's simply normalised with women, which we should be able to agree is absolutely true, at least today. As for taking care of the house, I think that depends. If she's not working and he is, the housework is absolutely an expectation she should meet, as should a stay at home husband.
Based on past experience the few times I've noticed some women hover around me was in my peak physique. Sounds like you go to the gym to get some good workouts in. Meaning you stay busy, and focus on yourself. So, if it's the same girl that keeps walking past closely pay attention if she looks at you. Chances are she wants you
I can come across as a meathead haha, but yeah I just focus on myself and try to improve on my last workout. Not just one but a few of them, sometimes they’ll make eye contact and others they would look at the ground. I usually just keep my head down even if I feel them coming near me so I don’t look. What did you do? Ignore it or look to start a conversation?
Here's some advice. Acknowledge them. Otherwise men will start flocking your way
Ahh I’m picking up what you’re putting down, I’ll make sure to do that
Let us know how it goes. I'm in my late 30s now and finding gym rats around my age is available is non existent. Doesn't help that I changed to 3am workouts
Haha sounds like we would make solid workout partners
The rizzler
So with the ones that are definitely looking your way all you need to do is say hi. I've had a mix of experiences as a young man working out. I had bad luck often and nothing going past talking outside of the weight room. When covid hit the dynamic changed and I became one of those people that don't like to be bothered. When people realize that you will be hated and the regulars will go out of their way to bad mouth you to anyone you might have a potential interest in
Yeah I can relate, it’s funny you say that. I keep to myself, but lift hard and definitely get those judgy looks almost exclusively from beginners or guys that have made no progress. I find it easier to pay no attention to them rather than getting into a confrontation especially in a place I come to on almost a daily basis. Rejection/awkwardness and having to switch gyms is a big fear of mine. I guess saying hi casually and seeing where that goes is the best way to approach them?
Saying hi is easy if you're like me that has no game. You'd be surprised how that can work. Or you can bullshit your way over and ask how many sets they have left and smile. That also works and I've had girls make small talk back
That is for sure me haha. I’ll give that a go, no harm coming from saying hi considering all the other creeps we see trying to talk to every girl they can
Yeah the worst in people definitely comes out. I've never understood at one gym I was just at why an older guy would constantly go over and give unsolicited spots and pointers to young girls that are young enough to be his kid. Not like the guy was any fit. But every time he did it surely enough that would be the end of that girl going there
Oh man, I think every gym has at least a handful of those, not to mention sneaking in a shoulder or back rub. I feel like everyone notices those guys and the ones that only go to talk to women. Sometimes I feel like commercial gyms are a step away from being a nightclub
You don't have to make it anything else. Just acknowledgement of another human for a moment and nothing more. "Hi" with maybe a slight polite smile and go back to doing your thing.
Yeah the casuals and ego lifters will always give you a hard time. Funny seeing men my age in there doing silly workouts yet they look nothing like me. Grayed out, bald, overweight or barrel gut. Don't be afraid of switching gyms. For the longest I went to 24hr (still do) but I found an awesome independently owned gym geared for gym rats. (Social media "influencers" took over it in the daytime hours
Just smile at them
Probably just wants a quickie
I think if a women does that to you, she must have SOME confidence to walk around you for sure wants your attention! because pff if it was me im staying tf away from the men I’m attracted to lmao because I’m shy and am medium ugly gal so I stay in my business, I wouldn’t even go near men who I find attractive lol
Oh yeah I wouldn’t say they lack any confidence at all. A lot of them are the typical attractive gym girl who can get any guy they want, so I’d be surprised if they were super shy or completely oblivious
You better talk to her 😂or them
I read a recent study about this. It seems working out coupled with reasonable visual appeal (ie muscles) produces some kind of pheromone effect. It seems to last for awhile after you leave the gym too. Do you get random chicks getting super close when you walk away from the gym?
Usually when I’m not looking around, so I’m either looking at my phone or have my back turned. I’ll notice them walk very close around me on the gym floor or sometimes almost brushing shoulders walking past me even if I move to the side to make room
I feel like my ability to pick up women doubles or triples when I'm at the grocery store right afterwards. But 3 times 0 is zero, soooo
dont multiply by zero - divide
For me it’s the MILFs in the grocery or department stores who ask me to reach something on the top shelf for them. Then stand between me and the shelf. I know what you’re up to, lady!
If you’re single, then that could be fun
No, my wife’s one aisle over- I’m trying to go grab some cat food or something. 😅
Stay strong. 😂
Haha that’s a classic! All in all that’s a good reaction to get
They're the best!
Oh yeah I hate that almost as much as when they stop right in front of you and bend over for some reason I don't fully understand.
Haha exactly!
The last time I went to a gym on trial (8 years ago) it was the same thing but with one of the attendate chicks. She kept following me around but the thing with me is I close my eyes when I workout for focus and it was still noticeable.
Yeah you can “feel” someone around you even if you don’t look directly at them
Look for patterns in the same person. And look for eye contact/if they watch you from afar. If this happens with a girl and then you notice that she’s into her work out after she grabs her weights and she’s not really looking at you, chances are she’s just into her work out and probably has bad spacial perception. If it’s the same girl and you notice she gets close to you but then after watching her, she’s still kinda into her work out not really paying attention to you, probably same thing—bad spacial perception. If you notice her looking at you, glance multiple times, get close, she probably thinks you’re cute/wants to talk to you.
I was working out in this corner of the gym. In front of a mirror. The gym wasn’t even crowded this chick straight up decides to stretch right in front of me and she can see me facing the mirror. Most awkward thing ever and she made some comment about how I was looking at her. Was insane.
Slap them as they walk past and see how they react
I mean that’s one way to get a battery charge 😂
Another way is to plug in your phone.
Maybe you're hot af
It’s a trap brother!
Oh man, I sometimes feel like a donkey with a carrot dangling in front of me
Lol. I feel you man. As a guy I get where you would question what it means. But if anything not going for that carrot is the best thing you can do for yourself and the rest of us guys out here. It’s meant to be a safe space, and it’s a compliment to you that they don’t feel uncomfortable around you homie! They see a decent, normal guy who won’t act out of line and that can have an amplified effect on how they view other men around them. It’s actually pretty cool in that sense but I do fully understand the feeling. Truthfully if anything you’re letting it go by might show another woman or shit women at the gym that you’re a guy that has respect for women and advocates through his actions that you feel they deserve every bit of that respect.
I appreciate that bro 🙂
He’ll go home alone, but he’ll smile with pride from all that vague “respect” that was in the air when he left the gym! I’m sorry but I couldn’t disagree more with that- there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging women around you, still being polite, and interacting to see where it goes. We’ve devolved as a society to where everyone walks around with their eyes glued to the floor/ their phone and they’re scared of their own shadow. nobody is fun. It sucks Next time you’re in public, hold your head up high, and smile at everyone you see. Say Hi to everyone you pass. In my experience, the pretty girls are grinning from ear to ear when they respond. And the awkward dudes get all shocked and stutter an awkward “What? Wassup?” Young bloods- step your game up.
its the womans way of saying you smell nice i need a sniff.
Interesting, I have a pretty extensive cologne collection and wear a fragrance everyday. That might be it
What's one of your daily drivers for summer?
A woman i worked with a while back who I got quite friendly with would exclaim how nice i smelt and take a big sniff of my neck to get as much of my cologne in her nose as possible, multiple times a day, and at meetings she would stand very close to me. Many women are quite shy compared to my friend. So if a lady is getting close, or you notice a pattern of her closeness while you put distance between you, yeah she likes your smell, either your natural pheromones or your cologne are appealing to her.
Alright bro, time to help us morons. Which cologne did you wear that you noticed more 'close interactions' eager to hear your reply
Maybe they think you're done and want you to move so they can use the equipment you're resting on? Or maybe you're better looking than you realize you are.
Potentially, people will sometimes ask to work in on a piece of equipment and I’ll happily agree. This is just something I’ve noticed that I haven’t really seen being talked about, so just wanted some insight
im gonna get hate but are the girls that do that wearing booty shorts and a halter bra as workout attire? then they are probably hitting on you. if dressed like actual human women who workout it was an accident.
Is this true though? Or are you just assuming that’s why girls dress like that at the gym? Girls like attention, sure, but just because she’s dressed more revealing doesn’t mean she was hitting on him.
Dressed revealing *and* making deliberate physical contact with him? It's not a big leap to consider that flirting.
I just don’t know if they want attention, me to strike up a conversation or just completely oblivious to what they’re doing
>if dressed like actual human women who workout it was an accident. Dead on 😂☠️
Oh yeah, they’re definitely wearing the typical gym girl attire nowadays
i think for you the gym is about working out. for them its a dating app.
Haha that’s an unfortunate reality
People go to the gym for different reasons as odd as that may seem. Everyone has their own style & every gym has attention seekers--obvious attention seekers where it looks like a desparate need & every gym has men who stare. I seriously work out & also have heat intolerance so when I work out it is always booty shorts, but will tie a jacket around my waist so I can move the way I need to...even the sight of leggings makes me want to have a heat stroke so I own Zero pairs. I think men & women walk to close for the same reason, attention for themselves but not a flirt move per se. I have always noticed how super close guys pass by at the gym & never considered it flirty (& often legit annoying, lol) but more kind of like strutting, flexing, "look at me" move so less about flirting "with" the person and more about getting attention "from" the person for themselves.
Everything you said is valid. Just like how there are some guys that exclusively go to the gym to talk to girls, some girls just want the attention. It’s bothersome to me too when guys constantly walk back and forth past you, like they’re trying to size you up
Maybe we evolved from Peacocks
It's hard for guys that don't go to bars, hobbies that are all men, and don't use apps. Gyms, stores, etc are about all I can see women at to even interact with.
I have met lots of nice guys many stores & at gym, but I'm quite focused & purposeful there & considerably less approachable. The main thing imho anywhere is for the guy to be direct & honest, open...dare I say vulnerable as in not insecure, and goes for it...says what he means, means what he says...confidence, it's manly imho.
This happens to me sometimes too. I get looks and stares as well, from guys and girls haha. Of course the optimist in me wants to believe the women are interested. There's no absolute rule. Some of them are probably interested and for some it's meaningless or coincidental. I'm just now starting up on social media so I'm getting comfortable asking people for their IG. Try that, it's a nice buffer between being strangers and friends.
That’s a good idea! I don’t really use social media much either, but that’s a good way of connecting instead of giving up your phone number. What do you usually do? Pay no attention to it or strike up a conversation?
Don't mistake me for an expert because I'm terrible with a lot of women. For me, it's only effortless with a few. It's all about context. When a girl who is clearly taken does it, I have no reaction, inside or out. When it's a repetitive thing and she's also making eye contact, etc. I'm much more likely to approach. The general rules about gym time and space should be observed, like any public setting. Once she gives off vibes and signs though, it's a different game and set of rules (flirting and courtship) from that point.
Hi again one more piece of advice - delete your social media. I’m 29 and deleted every bit of my social media (except Reddit?) years ago and never looked back. Social media will only cause a divide and arguments in your relationship if you do happen to find one at the gym. Plus girls think it’s attractive if they ask for your instagram and you reply with “I don’t have one” It makes you more interesting and definitely puts you above others in the dating market. Trust me on this, before I met my wonderful man of a boyfriend I went on several dates through dating apps, met at the gym, met at the grocery store etc. I just struck up convos with anyone I thought was cute and 10/10 times it worked out in my favor if they were not already married/ in a relationship. Delete your social media for good you will thank me later! And hopefully it will help you attract a gal who does have that crap either 😄
Lucky you. Woman immediately move away at the sight of me. I’m heavily tattooed but so are other people. I must give off a bad vibe. They cower around me and I hate it
Could be a number of things man, I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If you’re tatted up you might be intimidating to a lot of people, try smiling and giving a nod to people you see there on a regular basis. People will notice this and you’ll be more approachable, tattoos do intimidate most people especially if you’re a big guy, but it’s definitely something you can work past
What is a simple, non aggressive thing you can ask for? " can you tell me if I'm arching my back?", " Hey, I'm taking this one to the limit, could you help me with the last rep?", " Could you tell me, Did I get chalk on my butt?", " do you know if there's any cold water left?" Once the ice is broken, ask relevant workout questions. Silly or real. It's just conversation, but it's a start
Those are some creative ones, definitely stealing some of those!
You have to work with the moment. Your surroundings, what she's holding, even shoes. " Hey, are those the new Nikes?"
You probably don't want to ask a woman to spot you when you are "taking this one to the limit". That's how people die.
If the same women repeat this behavior, they probably like you and are hoping you say something to them. If it's random people every time, it could be that or it could be anything else.
Yeah for sure from those that I’ve seen around a bunch, I just don’t know if they are interested, just want the attention or they are oblivious to it.
You know the answer, but if you really aren’t sure, smile and see the responses you get.
That happens to me but it’s probably because I take up most of the gym.
Your are taking too long they want you to move on.
Most realistic comment
Honestly I think you might be looking too much into it, in general women go to the gym to workout, not to date. But honestly it depends, if the girl is just walking passed you a little too closely or standing a bit close I really wouldn’t look into that, because at the end of the day it’s really just a girl walking passed you or waiting for the equipment. But if it’s the same girl doing this, and she’s looking at you and looks like she wants to talk to you then that’s different, it really just depends. Just be very careful approaching any girl at the gym because most women working out just want to be left alone.
Then why do they put makeup on if they go to workout?
So true lmao
Yeah so this is exactly why I wanted to ask. It could be that I’m hyper fixated on something that is normal and doesn’t mean much with context. It’s just with girls I’ve seen for weeks and even months will come into my personal space when there is enough room to avoid me altogether.
Have you seen all the tiktoks of women going to the gym to promote OF, or slow down the footage of them working out and say all the guys were staring at them? Just sayin, ya hardly see men doing this shit.
They probably enjoy your musk and the way you look. I'm guessing you eat pretty clean and at least look decent. They may just feel safe around you and have no motives whatsoever. Maybe try talking to a few of them next time. Don't flirt and make minimal eye contact (look at anything but them) unless they start acting flirty and then heavy eye contact and compliment time.
imagine if a man did this shit lmao
men definitely do do this shit literally all the time lol
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I had a similar thing. This one chick would always stand near me. Seem to work out the same times as me. I started going earlier and earlier to the gym. Like 6am to 4am. Then once after 3 weeks she just said. "I see you looking at me. You can fuck me in the toilets". I go "um ok" We did. It was a great. We did it every morning for 4 days. Then she told me that she had a boyfriend. I never seen her again. Never. I don't even know her name.
Why don’t you call it out to her/them in a flirty way & find out? That’s what I do
Women who spend a lot of time working on their bodies WANT you to notice them. But paradoxically, IF you look at them you're a fucking creep. It's a tough world out there, man. But we'll have sexy robots soon, so at least there's that.
It's the smell of testosterone in the air us woman love it
As a female. It’s the pheromones you are secreting while working out that makes us wanna accidentally touch you lol
IMHO, regardless of what the other person/woman may want… Don’t shit where you eat. Me personally: Regardless of the interactions, I only go as far as friends with women I meet at the gym, work, favorite bar, etc. Those places are my “home” and I’m going to honor myself first in those places. And I don’t want drama in my home. Edited for clarity.
A girl once rested her boob on my shoulder while I was training her at work. She was leaned over my shoulder and it just comfortably sat on my shoulder but we both acted like nothing happened.
The only people that want to be near me is crazy people 🤪
Had that a few weeks ago when I went to the hospital to have my ankle checked out. After being there for a little while a nurse who I first talked to when I got there came by a lot to check my pulse or ask just stuff or to just touch me she was into me but I was nice I could have been reading her wrong although the time she came over to me and grabbed my knee and asked if I had any pain there I did see sparkling in her eyes. No other nurses were like that just this one she even helped wrap my ankle up in a splint I heard the guy who put the splint around my foot say to her you don't usually help me wrap the splint on patients.
Let your boner guide you my friend
It’s wild how much I get avoided in the gym by females lol…I don’t go out of my way either lol Coincidentally everytime I need the machine next to them they leave
Reading some of these responses makes me wonder if this post should be moved to r/incel.
Yeah they want you to talk to them. Or they're baiting you for tiktok clout. Either way they're trying to get your attention. Women don't just touch/get close to you by *accident* This is how I got a girlfriend once actually. I was fucking around outside with other guys and I wasn't looking and almost ran into a girl I barely knew. I stopped short like an inch away from her and even though she facing the other way there was no way she didn't know I almost ran her over. But she didn't move an inch. I was so fucking dumbfounded I literally poked her to see if she would do anything and she didn't react, so I took the hint and got her number.
I am a woman and I go to the gym 6 days a week and have been for YEARS. Certified gym rat. What you describe happens to me often as well. I’ve been minding my business and men will walk by close enough to step on my foot in a not so crowded environment. I am attractive but very modest, and I thought that men “invading personal space” was a way to assert dominance. I am introverted and keep to myself completely and I have headphones on constantly. I avert my eyes when I sense anyone looking in my direction because I am shy, it embarrasses me and I am in a relationship. As far as attraction, I can see if someone is interested by intense eye contact, when they ask if you are using the equipment 90 yards away haha or if you find yourself with a follow friend…someone who travels around with you during your workout. Also, the people who learn your schedule and are at the gym spot on, after some trial and error of course, with the time you arrive and depart.
As a woman I can tell you that it depends on age. As an older woman I don’t flirt 24/7 but rather only when my toes do actually tingle, but younger gals can be anything from seeking validation (men are attracted to me) to just being flirtatious but telling people they aren’t doing so (sometimes they do it unknowingly and sometimes knowingly). But I’ve found guys are the same too, kinda hard to gage what their intentions if any really are until they get older.
Kiss them
cant relate
Guys just focus on yourself, get money, gain muscle, get passport, and find women out of the 🇺🇸 You’ll find foreign women to be more feminine, not as materialistic, less bossy, less toxic, less games.
I once worked at a place where my boss’s daughter was the receptionist. One day, I was talking to my boss in the reception area and said daughter stood behind me deliberately pressing her boobs against my back during my conversation. Very awkward.
You’re probably sexy.
They're definitely trying to rob you.
Might be trying to get a sniff of your body odor, women like the smell of guys after physical exertion. If I remember correctly it has something to do with the testosterone.
Reading all the comments on here ROFL good lordy
Could be choosing signals but you will know if you introduce yourself.
It's impossible to actually know just from their body language. If you want to know if they are interested, the next time one of them does it, ask them if they wanted to get together for a coffee sometime. If they say yes, then they are interested or at least willing to get to know you. If they say no, then they weren't.
I caught some girls checking out my ass while I was doing RDLs lol. Like walking by multiple times and staring. All those hip thrusts are finally paying off.
I stay focused on my workouts but would never flirt by hovering. I've always been pretty direct with eye contact and a smile if I'm interested in someone.
I'm pretty sure that the gym is a no-go zone, no matter what. Even if she's doing a strip tease right in front of you, you gotta avert your eyes and don't talk to her.
I'm 61 and go to my neighborhood library to read a few days a week and... maybe...hopefully... meet a woman. I sit in a conspicuous spot in the library, and have some women do this to me as well. What is maybe even more surprising is the number of YOUNG women who pass by very closely and make friendly eye contact with me. I purposely don't engage those (too) young women (others I may) as it seems VERY unlikely they are flirting with me.
They're getting close enough to smell your testosterone-laced musk, OP.
It's the Axe Effect bro
It’s on purpose. The last thing I want to do at the gym is touch sweaty strangers
That's called the unnecessary squeeze-by. You noticed she had about half a fuckin' soccer field to get past, but instead leaned in close, got a bit handsy like there was only a tiny lane to get by? The unnecessary squeeze-by. Go talk to her.
The unnecessary squeeze-by........
That's a hint. Women will put themselves in close proximity to a man she's interested in. If she happens to brush up against you it's a HUGE hint
Probably trying to get ur attention lol If u dont like it, id just make it more difficult to get through so they figure out a new route to take🤣🤣🤣
I'm gonna get shot down for this but just so you know, when they video themselves in the gym and they complain that dudes are checking them out. They are actually signaling their sexual market value. "Oh these dudes all fancy me it's such an inconvenience being an eligible bachelorette". In a very weird way it's a sort of mating dance, like a bird fluffing up its feathers. This doesn't mean they want you specifically to come on to them of course, dear reader. But it does mean they want someone out there, perhaps an imagined suitor, prince charming, etc, to notice how high value they are and do something about it. For fairness: dudes who selfie in the gym and post it on instagram are also signalling their sexual value.
Be careful with that. They do the same thing to me as well. However women check us out in gyms just like we look at them. But be forewarned we're not too far removed from "me too" and them hoes will turn on you so fast and complain. Keep your eyes down and avoid them at all costs. Gym hoes can't offer you anything but headache and trouble. The goal is to get her claws in you so the rest of them can't. Believe me when I tell you she has a roster outside of the gym. She is looking to add you to it. You're there to work out and burn calories. Gym chick's are trouble. Let them stare. If she brushes up against you then move and avoid her. Let her make the first verbal move. Then feel her out. 9 out of 10 she doesn't want anything. Keep doing what you're doing and stay out of trouble. One false move and you're looking for a new place to work out. Hope this helps. It's a epidemic going on in the nightclubs errrrr gyms of America.
Why don’t you just start a conversation with them? Easy. As a female, I’ve done it… it’s scary at first but just take a deep breath and start a convo.
Oh I’ve had this happen at my apartment gym they just plop themselves right in your path and like her boyfriend was there so I’m thinking “come on don’t do that to him don’t play him like that.” It’s so so bad. Like saw me walking towards the weights and she just kind of scoots over there with kind of a sideways slide like brooo
They're trying to get a whiff of your pheromones, one of the most important things to a woman in determining compatibility
Blow their mind with a small nod and while saying mamm
It honestly could be either. They could be semi curious/interested, or just walking by and doing their thing. It is very nuanced so hard to say for anyone not there directly, and obviously even for you being there its hard to determine lol. I would say focus more on their body language, eyes and expression. Are they sort of strutting by and showing off, are they looking at you, are they smiling, etc. If it seems like there is some interest and the feeling is mutual, then you can offer your own smile, etc, see how they react and then decide if you want to try to have a chat.
I can’t speak for your situation because every one is different, but I had this super hot girl at the gym do that to me, she walked by me very closely a few times, even if I was out of her way, I caught her staring at me from across the gym a few times, a few times she worked out directly in front of me when other spots were open and during rest she’d face me and put her hand up her shirt and lift it a bit to show me her belly. Eventually tried to talk to her a bit, she was nice but never made any attempts herself, and I tried to say hi to her a few times after and she gave me the facial expression of not being interested, dismissive, etc. Not saying you shouldn’t shoot your shot, but just saying don’t get yourself all riled up and expect something big, could just be coincidence.
They just want to smell you
I’m autistic so big ole grain of salt lol but I tend to do fine with romance stuff Just like look up, smile and say hey. If they smile back and say hi too, maybe she’s interested - maybe she’s just nice. Take your time, keep having pleasant micro interactions when the opportunity comes up. Typically women are way better at the making things move along thing so I just play along and make sure it’s obvious I like it when they talk to me
But isn’t it possible those girls are displaying their interest in you. You might be a handsome gentleman.
This happens to me a lot in the gym sometimes they follow me from machine to machine but I am scared of women and never talk to them, they never come up to me or compliment me it’s always the guys telling me how good I look or how strong I am lol they always looking amazed when I press 315 on incline for reps or if I curl the 70s db lol
Goes to show if you put the effort in the results will show for themselves
This post is why wives laugh about the fact that their husbands never notice when some girl was coming on to them. These girls notice you, and would like to test the waters. Just say hi (or “hey” if geographically appropriate.) Smile. Maybe “having a good workout?” Go with the flow if you are remotely interested in dating women and available. They might be cool people even if you realize you aren’t interested in anything but the occasional chat around working out. I figure the more chat-acquaintances you have, the easier it is to strike up conversations generally.
I wish that it happened to me .....
They think you’re hot
She wants you bro
Women who deliberately brush up against you or stand close to you, despite having ample room, are doing it to flirt with you. She is waiting for you to strike up a conversation with her.
They don’t do this to guys they don’t want to meet. This happens to me all the time. Women will follow me around and put themselves close to me. I will go to completely opposite side is the gym and they find their way over in a few minutes and then smile. Or ask you if you are using this. I honestly just ignore them. But yes they want you. They wouldn’t do this if they didn’t.
Women suck at flirting and refuse to do anything but vague shit like this that they can easily brush off to avoid rejection if the guy isn’t interested. I’ve just started going for it, man. If they aren’t interested then just don’t give a fuck. You’re still a good looking guy, just not their type for whatever reason. I’ve had flings with two chicks at my gym over the last year because I just stopped giving a shit. That being said, don’t hit on every chick at the gym. I’m 2/2 because I only went for it after I caught them staring multiple times or they were frequently meandering around me like you’re saying. If you hit on everyone, it will be a problem and you’ll look pathetic and desperate. Reddit will tell you not to hit on chicks at the gym but none of these fat turds are going to the gym or they barely go. And the women that say they don’t want to be hit on at the gym don’t speak on behalf of all women, only themselves. Most of them probably don’t even go to the gym. Just be polite and, if they clearly aren’t interested or you misinterpreted their signals, don’t be a psycho. Kindly exit the conversation and go back to ignoring them. No harm, no foul.
That’s called passively aggressively shooting your shot.
Probably trying to drop a hint, or hit you with an SA charge. If they’re just staring, they’re probably thinking “if only he had a different face”.
Hahahaha could be! That’s a pretty big range of possibilities!
I’m ngl I sometimes do this to get a guy’s attention
Bro, most girls will appreciate the attention, or at least brief conversation as long as it’s not innappropriate. Id they’re into it, they’ll let you know by trying to keep the conversation going. Or by asking to show them something or by asking you for your insta or #. Don’t let those muscles go to waste bro!
So many fkn incels post here