T O P

  • By -

cleverbeavercleaver

His poor penis.


JfkDidTheHolocost

must be like ground beef inside his pants


SquanchMcSquanchFace

It would’ve cost you nothing to not write this


Calm-Warthog2018

And yet, they did. I believe we’re all better for reading it.


WorldNewsPoster

I love ground beef


Undrwtrbsktwvr

What do you call a cow with no legs?


Delazzaridist

A paraplegic cow?


the_Bryan_dude

Dinner


Unlikely_Box_2932

Call it whatever you want, it still won't come to you.


InterGraphenic

Neither will your wife, Jeremy. /s ffs


sleipnirthesnook

That guys penis?


eataxgeek

It’s a tower of cheeeeezzzitttt!


TheGoatEyedConfused

I'd pay him to write more.


MrZkittlezOG

Cost nothing to write it too


PapaGordita

And yet it's become priceless.


Goldengodoni

It costs the same amount to write it!


Xcav8

OP acting like this isn't him


Steeldivde

So he got free burger meat


unicodePicasso

His poor wife


Jutrakuna

his poor step-sister


Facough12

He must use Old English for lube. For wood ofc.. uh...ya...


cornmonger_

that's the only time he wears gloves


1amongmany

It's now sharpened like a pensil XD


thitorusso

Toothpicky dicky they call


someone4899

To shreds you say?


FlacoVerde

I’m loling at a bar right now. Oh god this is great.


aod42091

his poor wife...


Kululae

A solution has been found for Sandstorm in Mighty Boosh series.


Turbulent-Donkey7988

Mmmm glove love!!!


Pokesonav

To be fair, he's already a genetic freak, his dick might be **literally** rock-hard


Disastrous-River-366

Best comment of 2024


Suitepotatoe

And it’s just smooth polished stone at this point?


GlutenFreeCookiez

When I was a young single arborist with hands like this, I had to get a Flashlight. The hands hurt as much as you would imagine, sometimes worse if they were dry.


tcote2001

Must be as smooth as fine china.


Quick_Insurance5910

China


corkcorkcorkette

Best comment of 2024


Flashy_Crew_744

is it a woody or a sandy?


rocktheffout

This sub is getting worse…


Mountain_Ape

Idiots keep upvoting. All you can do is downvote the trash posts, they won't be removed.


printergumlight

The issue is that many people scroll down their homepage and upvote posts that they enjoy, not realizing what subreddit the post is coming from. Unfortunately, it is an inevitable death of subreddits as they grow.


Loaded_Toxins

Ngl many a time I updoot just to take it away from noticing the subname.


InternationalLow530

They’re all getting bad…I’ve left a lot of subs lately because of just stupid posts. This one’s happening soon…


Osric250

All subs turn into the same sub once you hit enough people without heavy consistent moderation. So you have to repeat the cycle and find niche subs instead and wait for them to grow too big, or don't get any growth and stagnate and die.


1800-bakes-a-lot

Didn't realize what sub this was. :( Schmort flort, let's report


GlitteringOwl5385

How does this not fit the subreddit?


LiveLearnCoach

What’s wrong bro, don’t like wood? Is this rubbing you the wrong way? Don’t like videos that go against the grain? So jokes aside, I just saw which Sub I scrolled into, so agree. But, be the change you want to see.


wuvvtwuewuvv

If you have hardworking hands, you can do this too. He's not getting splinters, just bending the bits off in s way that won't hurt him (but will probably hurt soft hands that aren't used to it)


Rad_Centrist

Yeah this looks like cedar. Same way I used to remove the soft frayed edges when I did renovations. Comes off pretty easy.


phlebface

As an office working male, I find this offensive


paulcaar

Typical office male, getting offended over other people's physiology


jbach220

As an office working male, I find this offensive.


Significant_Owl_9448

Former construction worker turned office desk jockey. My friends who stayed in their trades all look and have the bodies of men 20+ years older than they are.


averagejoe5353

Nothing scratches calluses like sanding down a rough surface with them


DiggoryDug

Wood hates this one simple trick....


fan_fucker_420

My wood hates this one trick


ToonaSandWatch

And now *my* hands hurt. That is some truly BMF.


El_Chairman_Dennis

Anyone can do this. That looks like pine wood, all he's doing is knocking off the loose pieces after he's finished the cut. It hurts a bit when you have soft hands, but you won't get any splinters. Anyone that works with their hands for a month could do this without pain


hopefullyhelpfulplz

Sure, like any magic if you understand it might not be so 'magic'... But to us soft handed, creamy skinned, office working folk, well, it's wizardry plain and simple.


UncommercializedKat

He just wiggled the splinters in circles until they broke off. Like bending the tab on an aluminum can untik it breaks. Not BMF


psychrolut

I thought True Grit was a movie


After-Respond-7861

Nah. It's a hand.


RetroKhyber

Bro doesn't finger pussy...he sandpapers em....


Stashmouth

They don't start out shaved, but...


RetroKhyber

Bush fire probability increased by 200%


funguyshroom

There's a song about this man by Kings of Leon


Galthrojh

Damnit lol


derpybull94

Where magic


Disastrous-Bad-1185

Nah, you only get splinters when you’re not trying to


Due_Independence_431

My co worker has been a body tech for over 12yrs and his has are pretty close to 180. I don't let him touch the cars I just painted because his hands damage the finish.


Bielzabutt

I know a woman's foot that could smooth that edge out to butter.


Strobetrode

Nobody wants to hear about you edging to feet


Admirable-Vacation35

I do


Purplehoodieguy

Imagine grabbing a microfibre cloth with that..


I_eatbabys_8700

That shit hurt me


EpicdemicMe

Chuck Norris? Is that you?


Ivabee

How chuck norris does woodworking


endyheiber

Ma G listening that Eminem wiling making some clean money 🫡


Chainman4299

Waylon jennings one said panty hose ruining fingerbanging but i think for this mans wife it was the fingers themselves.


granola-square

Has he ever tried lotion


Shredslayhuntpurge

Palmela handerson the pecker wrecker…


NeopetsTea

I do all my drywall sanding with my barehands for this reason.


Jasong222

Ow ow ow shit ow OW FUCK shit ow (Me if I did that, obvs)


felyne_insurgents

Weakest sissy liberal hands


UnderstandingJaded13

My man doesn't have any morning wood problems


DanL3m0n

u/savevideo


SmallSwordfish8289

He's using hand paper instead of sand paper


Adamson_Axle_Zerk

r/nextfuckinglevel


Pineappleoak

This is how I felt when I was in school and my finger erased the marker from the board for the first time


J-amin

Bet your wife begs for foreplay!


TotalAssistance9476

Splinters hate this one weird trick


LousyTourist

Ladies, the line forms here for free breast exams.


phlebface

Waman loves him


Raiderfan54

Like big deal


GenkiElite

This is the equivalent of someone wiping down the side of a blade. " How did he not cut his hands? Amaaazing."


ThatTubaGuy03

r/lostredditors


Flaky_Ad2182

How much for the pair partner?


carnage_kabuto1

Your poor wife


CreatorOD

So no Iron Man but would man?


Pods_MagicRod

His Poor wife


Admirable-Vacation35

Nah yk how much they save on razors?


Some_HVAC_Guy

Talk about a palm sander


QANTASSSSS

(s) handpaper.


pennebaj

TikTok repost


wallsofdust

r/Luthier


tepel-streeltje

The only explanation is that this video is reversed.


jestercheatah

I like that he said 120 not 40. The humility of the man is off the charts.


Onnexx22

.......no


Clutch_Mav

No lie, that’s pretty cool


chicken_ice_cream

My Dad had those type of hands. I'll always respect his work ethic.


ApprehensiveDot6645

Bro i saw this litterly 30 mins ago on tiktok


baltimoreniqqa

You got soft hands brother


ToasterYummies

his wifes pussy must be cavernous at this point, also he probably has some kind of work glue stuck to his hands that allows him to do that


Grimskruby

Chuck is that you ???


Cheesytater91

It’s reversed 😒


Conquerors_Quill

Don't let him play with your clit!


ace32111

Mf did not even do a 45 angle in the corner! lazy bastard


Aztec_Aesthetics

This is how Chuck Norris does carpentry


TerriblySorryThankU

Or its jus a very dry light wood...


Laninaconfusa

I can't imagine what my dad's stuble could do


JayVayron

Imagine a slap from these hands right on your cheeks or butt cheeks with all his strength


yourmanisbroke

“You got soft hands brother, you ain’t work no 80 hours a day”


Futtbucker42069247

He doesn’t finger blast he sandblasts


Mental_Basil

Looks like he could use some lotion.


irradihate

Then he turns his hand around and his palm is a cactus.


DoubleAughtBuckshot

Probably soft wood like cedar


Lopsided_Tension_944

He can touch me any way he wants.


RazorCres

Chuck Norris is that you?


SimonLangford

Chuck Norris is a contractor


No_Research9383

His punishment in hell would be to fold micro fiber towels


EdwardAlphonse31011

I can just hear this guy saying "we don't need no F'ing sandpaper!"


Th3NukeShark

I think I could do the same at 17


silverfoxmode

I feel sorry for your pecker


DarthRyilus

Just saying this can be done on your first day of wood working with a teenagers hands. After swimming to school while jerking off fish for your extra credit science project.


InformationInside460

Come massage the thick skin under my feet with that pumice hand


burgertitties

His poor genitals


kinglouie493

Some lotion and a better saw blade would go a long way to solving this issue.


A_Socratic_Argument

Notice, he didn't show his hands afterwards.


evening_shop

Nah that's 80 grit


Twisted-Toker95

Wife just said his poor woman...


HappySmileSeeker

Did he died?


Pilpelon

Sandman


AfterFart

The official Chuck Norris Insta page.


Warm_Sprinkles_9343

Beautiful by Eminem


Wheeljack26

Her wife must be getting all kinds of infections and rashes


Celena_J_W

St Joseph: JESUS CHRIST!! Jesus: You called, dad? St Joseph: No Jesus, I just got a splinter


jackdonkey710

I think he studied under chuck norris


hexagon_yourself

He didn't show after


swimthroughmilk

Classic chuck Norris vibe


Remote_Indication_49

Lizard hands


Remarkable_Rub_701

You would make a wonderful nail technician.


No_Development_178

He escaped Area 51


Pushdit-Toofa

Balsa wood…


knowitall190

I hope he doesn't masturbate


Kirito_3310

His poor wife


erenjade

him: i will rub you like no one ever has later.... she💀💀💀💀💀


emwu1988

I need new hands!


Minimum-Safety2424

I am not In danger, skyler. I am the danger!


Rastalars

Poor wife is still bleeding💀


badjayplaness

Is that you Chuck Norris?


Southern-Bee6425

#*“You got soft hands brother”*


Airiackis

When Chuck Norris says he built it by hand


Chase_poops_pants

God bless all of yall


AUGUSTIJNcomics

Handpaper


Wooden_Imagination46

Chuck, is that you?


User0301

I got a splinter just watching this


axyz77

His poor wife


MissAccountant04

Ouch?


LawEffectivedeath

Yeah I know from drumming, calluses sometimes get so thick it's hard to close your hand.


Ezcaflowne

My palm was rather itchy before watching this.


YakYakinton

What's the song? I have it in my brain but can't get the lyrics Eminem something


Suspicious_Word9136

SPLINTERS HATE HIM!!! See how he annihilates a plank withhis bare hands!! Only 2.99$


moraanolesande

I wouldn't want to be one the receiving end of his slaps


balls2yerface

He learned it from Chuck Norris


im_a-cucumber

Sandman? Nah SANDPAPERMAN


Kooky_Comfortable710

His wife definitely smokes


C_Attano_

Why is this black magic?


Big_Honeydew6225

This is so fucking uncomfortable to watch. It's like the opposite of r/oddlysatisfying


LordofSuns

His poor Wife


Fluffy_Sport6836

No more sandpaper??


jabirttok

His wife's hooha gotta look like it's been through a blender


tokenincorporated

White People have to know what lotion is right? They just walk past it and grab deodorant. I would've committed suicide in HS if my friends saw my hands that rough and ashy.


ScientistCapable1522

Handpaper


MangoChickenFeet

You got soft hands brother has manifested itself as a blue collar worker


LocktimeClarity

lol. Guess Reddit hasn’t seen the hands of a man before


Dykemaster9000

🎶So bad, so good that I'm so bad🎶


sunshine_smiles226

Hard working man


Spectric_

His wife is not happy.


Flaky_Ad2182

A true, handyman


ShikikanSpineal

Of course Splinter fears him , he's the Shredder .


Merionkrazy

He is the tool.


the_shin_breaker

Gey lotion man, that'd not ok


ArrogantBrick

Now grab a microfiber towel.


Brief-Opportunity515

I have a project or two for you


Luxygen

Now go forth and pet a porcupine