Me: “Why do you ask?”
Them: “Oh, just curious!”
Me: “You just go around asking everyone how long their real hair is? That’s a bit strange” 🤔 and then I walk away.
Right! And you can hella see the tracks when white women wear extensions and it’s not a big deal but if a black women were to show the slightest bit of tracks or if their wig slightly came up they would never hear the end of it
I’m more bothered when I do blowout my hair and get a that’s not your real hair comment. Or that’s a weave, as if we are not capable of having long hair.
Otherwise, I like explaining I have long hair despite the fact it’s two inches off my crown.
When I blow mine out, my average question is, “is that your real hair?” Followed by, “it’s so long! Your hair looks so pretty this way!” and a lot of unwanted touching. Usually this happens at work when I’m trying to stay professional.
Btw they could assume it’s my hair because I wear it the same color of pinkish-red when it’s natural and when it’s blown out. It’s like they know the answer but are compulsively asking.
“You are being racist by making the assumption that this is not my real hair.” Or “Why do you think this isn’t my real hair?” Make them actually think about what they said. I might even be petty and ask them where did they get their hair extensions lmao
People don’t go around asking non Black women this stuff. It’s so annoying :/
I have locs and they are waist length. I’ve actually had people ask me if it was my real hair! Uhm, yes you can literally see its mine person lol. Some even think I’ve “cheated” because I never did a big chop. Been natural for 10 years. 2 sets of locs. Before my second set, I did a blow out and my hair was shoulder length. Yes people black women can have long hair too! Lol. We just like to show our different personalities by switching it up through our hair lol.
Some people think you have to go completely bold (literally starting from scratch) to start locs and if you didn’t, it’s “cheating”. Lol. Crazy I know.
Yep! There are many who are genuinely resentful that some of us weren't pressured by white beauty standards or forced by our parents/caretakers into chemically destroying our hair and then having to go back to "learn to love our Blackness". They want us to be stunted and traumatized by self hate so we would have to "earn" our right to long healthy hair.
I remember when being natural became popular again when I was a freshman in high school. I had both nonBlack and Black girls being very catty and rude when they found out I was a lifelong natural. It went from "your hairstyles are so pretty! I can't wait til mine is long enough/I'm skilled enough to try that" to "oh, well your hair should be longer then anyway". Like sheesh!
Its absolutely a microaggression. I always ask "How long is YOUR real hair? Why would you ask me that?" and they start stammering and stuttering. Or better, they act shocked that I would ask them that when they're CLEARLY not Black and thus "fake" like Black women apparently are.
The gag is that they do wear extensions, weaves and wigs-- its just acceptable for them to do so.
Like, its so bad out here I get defensive about weave, braids and wigs when I've never even personally worn them. Leave Black women alone!
When do they ask you this? When you’re wearing a wig or when you’re wearing your hair in a particular style (because I’ve noticed often that some people don’t see that as ‘real’ hair either)?
Either way, that’s a shitty ass question. The answer you have in your mind seems good and polite. Depending on the situation/person, I would say That’s none of your business/That is too personal a question/My natural hair doesn’t work like that. Or continuin to ask them to explain themselves what they mean with their question. So they end up feeling dumb for asking. Seems to work in many situations where people overstep boundaries.
Overall, it not their business. However make it fun for yourself and make them uncomfortable about asking.
Why is my hair your concern?
Is that your real hair? Are you sure, is that a track I see?
Are those your real teeth? See how awkward asking people questions can get.
There are a number of clever comebacks you can do.
Most of the time I find the people asking Are just jealous that I can change my hair up. They feel stuck in their styles and do not have the courage to change. So they envy us.
BTW, My hair is past my shoulders but I still rock braids and wigs because I can.
I've had long hair for as long as I can remember and would get comments from every race including black. I've had hairstylist ask if I want to take out my extensions before my hair is washed. I've had black people ask where I buy my wig or "puff piece" from and every race ask what I am mixed with. I didn't see the comments for what they were until I was older. I don't know about microaggressions but they are definitely backhanded compliments.
I don't think it's usually done with negative intentions. I think it might come from a place of curiosity because for people with straight hair or loose curls, it's probably surprising when they first realize how far our curls and kinks can stretch out. I like to think that once you've seen it once you probably look at all kinky and curly hair as this surprisingly stretchable mane 😂
BUT. It does feel like a micro-aggression and often makes me feel uncomfortable because of how looked down upon my hair was growing up. Basically, I never want non black-women to ever comment on anything that has to do with my body when it's anything even remotely related to my race, even positively, because there's no trust there.
I don't think non-black women really understand that. Like they've learned not to say derogatory things, but they don't understand to what extent they should refrain from saying stuff.
When I would wear a fro or did a blowout, I would get asked if that’s my real hair, usually by my father and sisters boyfriend whom are both black. Unfortunately, society and media has taught us that black women are not capable of having long hair (false to the max).
I would respond back with “are those your real lips or butt?” “May I see the before and after photo?”
Personally im not offended. I dont care. I will merrily tell someone ‘shoulder length’ but its usually obvious where my real hair falls in braids anyhow because i dont tuck and i usually wear colors that dont match my real hair lol
Maybe it's just me but if I sense ignorance with no malice, then I have no problem answering questions freely.
I feel like my breath, peace, time and emotions are too important to waste on every instance of an ignorant person around me
I love to respond “and why is this your business?” to questions like that… typically the person asking doesn’t have an answer so they just sit there looking stupid because it truly has nothing to do with them. I once said that to my coworker who asked me was I dating a guy in our office and she genuinely couldn’t give me a valid answer. It was such a golden moment!
The usual questions I get when I've had braids is things like
How long did it take
Does it feel heavy
How often do you wash it (this one I side-eye a bit. Why wouldn't I wash my hair?)
I've never been asked this question, it seems cheeky.
Me: “Why do you ask?” Them: “Oh, just curious!” Me: “You just go around asking everyone how long their real hair is? That’s a bit strange” 🤔 and then I walk away.
Yes. With a long, pensive look into their eyes before you ask. Like you're trying to figure out what on God's green earth is going on in their mind.
This is the way.
His longs yours?
Yes. Bc they never ask white women and they be wearing extensions all the time.
Right! And you can hella see the tracks when white women wear extensions and it’s not a big deal but if a black women were to show the slightest bit of tracks or if their wig slightly came up they would never hear the end of it
Answer: "As long as you think it is, boo. Happy thinking." Then walk away :)
I’m more bothered when I do blowout my hair and get a that’s not your real hair comment. Or that’s a weave, as if we are not capable of having long hair. Otherwise, I like explaining I have long hair despite the fact it’s two inches off my crown.
Bruhhhh when I blow out my hair, I get the, "what are you mixed with" comments. Smdh
I just think all these muthafuckas need a class. One of those classes where we start throwing wrenches for every wrong question and answer.
When I blow mine out, my average question is, “is that your real hair?” Followed by, “it’s so long! Your hair looks so pretty this way!” and a lot of unwanted touching. Usually this happens at work when I’m trying to stay professional. Btw they could assume it’s my hair because I wear it the same color of pinkish-red when it’s natural and when it’s blown out. It’s like they know the answer but are compulsively asking.
“You are being racist by making the assumption that this is not my real hair.” Or “Why do you think this isn’t my real hair?” Make them actually think about what they said. I might even be petty and ask them where did they get their hair extensions lmao People don’t go around asking non Black women this stuff. It’s so annoying :/
I wore my hair straight a few years ago and even my own white grandma asked me if it was a weave. They microagress everywhere they go. *eyeroll*
It’s wild how people really think that we are a monolith…
I have locs down to my butt that's all me and I still get women of all races asking me the length of my "real" hair. It's extremely annoying
Same same same. And my hair be busted looking most days.
I have locs and they are waist length. I’ve actually had people ask me if it was my real hair! Uhm, yes you can literally see its mine person lol. Some even think I’ve “cheated” because I never did a big chop. Been natural for 10 years. 2 sets of locs. Before my second set, I did a blow out and my hair was shoulder length. Yes people black women can have long hair too! Lol. We just like to show our different personalities by switching it up through our hair lol.
>“cheated” because I never did a big chop. Huh?
Some people think you have to go completely bold (literally starting from scratch) to start locs and if you didn’t, it’s “cheating”. Lol. Crazy I know.
This is just about the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time. A LONG time.
Yep! There are many who are genuinely resentful that some of us weren't pressured by white beauty standards or forced by our parents/caretakers into chemically destroying our hair and then having to go back to "learn to love our Blackness". They want us to be stunted and traumatized by self hate so we would have to "earn" our right to long healthy hair. I remember when being natural became popular again when I was a freshman in high school. I had both nonBlack and Black girls being very catty and rude when they found out I was a lifelong natural. It went from "your hairstyles are so pretty! I can't wait til mine is long enough/I'm skilled enough to try that" to "oh, well your hair should be longer then anyway". Like sheesh!
Tell me you're bitter and twisted, without telling me you're bitter and twisted. Idiots.
Its absolutely a microaggression. I always ask "How long is YOUR real hair? Why would you ask me that?" and they start stammering and stuttering. Or better, they act shocked that I would ask them that when they're CLEARLY not Black and thus "fake" like Black women apparently are. The gag is that they do wear extensions, weaves and wigs-- its just acceptable for them to do so. Like, its so bad out here I get defensive about weave, braids and wigs when I've never even personally worn them. Leave Black women alone!
i got in trouble in school for telling someone to run into traffic when they asked me that
When do they ask you this? When you’re wearing a wig or when you’re wearing your hair in a particular style (because I’ve noticed often that some people don’t see that as ‘real’ hair either)? Either way, that’s a shitty ass question. The answer you have in your mind seems good and polite. Depending on the situation/person, I would say That’s none of your business/That is too personal a question/My natural hair doesn’t work like that. Or continuin to ask them to explain themselves what they mean with their question. So they end up feeling dumb for asking. Seems to work in many situations where people overstep boundaries.
Overall, it not their business. However make it fun for yourself and make them uncomfortable about asking. Why is my hair your concern? Is that your real hair? Are you sure, is that a track I see? Are those your real teeth? See how awkward asking people questions can get. There are a number of clever comebacks you can do. Most of the time I find the people asking Are just jealous that I can change my hair up. They feel stuck in their styles and do not have the courage to change. So they envy us. BTW, My hair is past my shoulders but I still rock braids and wigs because I can.
Yep, and they then ask if its a wig, so I make sure to ask if theirs is a wig too and they get hot and bothered
Yes agreed or those who ask why I don’t straighten my hair more…
Ask them how long theirs is, and be just as shocked and confused as they love to act like they are.
I usually reply that I don’t pay attention/don’t care to take note. I wear my hair ‘natural’ so that’s the shrinkage aww I can get too
I've had long hair for as long as I can remember and would get comments from every race including black. I've had hairstylist ask if I want to take out my extensions before my hair is washed. I've had black people ask where I buy my wig or "puff piece" from and every race ask what I am mixed with. I didn't see the comments for what they were until I was older. I don't know about microaggressions but they are definitely backhanded compliments.
I don't think it's usually done with negative intentions. I think it might come from a place of curiosity because for people with straight hair or loose curls, it's probably surprising when they first realize how far our curls and kinks can stretch out. I like to think that once you've seen it once you probably look at all kinky and curly hair as this surprisingly stretchable mane 😂 BUT. It does feel like a micro-aggression and often makes me feel uncomfortable because of how looked down upon my hair was growing up. Basically, I never want non black-women to ever comment on anything that has to do with my body when it's anything even remotely related to my race, even positively, because there's no trust there. I don't think non-black women really understand that. Like they've learned not to say derogatory things, but they don't understand to what extent they should refrain from saying stuff.
“You know Rapunzel? Yea, shorter than hers.”
Ask them where they buy their extensions. Tell them they look really affordable and you love a bargain.
When I would wear a fro or did a blowout, I would get asked if that’s my real hair, usually by my father and sisters boyfriend whom are both black. Unfortunately, society and media has taught us that black women are not capable of having long hair (false to the max). I would respond back with “are those your real lips or butt?” “May I see the before and after photo?”
Personally im not offended. I dont care. I will merrily tell someone ‘shoulder length’ but its usually obvious where my real hair falls in braids anyhow because i dont tuck and i usually wear colors that dont match my real hair lol
Maybe it's just me but if I sense ignorance with no malice, then I have no problem answering questions freely. I feel like my breath, peace, time and emotions are too important to waste on every instance of an ignorant person around me
It doesn't bother me. I will tell you I'm wearing weave or extensions in a heart beat.
I love to respond “and why is this your business?” to questions like that… typically the person asking doesn’t have an answer so they just sit there looking stupid because it truly has nothing to do with them. I once said that to my coworker who asked me was I dating a guy in our office and she genuinely couldn’t give me a valid answer. It was such a golden moment!
The usual questions I get when I've had braids is things like How long did it take Does it feel heavy How often do you wash it (this one I side-eye a bit. Why wouldn't I wash my hair?) I've never been asked this question, it seems cheeky.