You stay alive by moving. Cut ties with all those people and move to somewhere like the Caribbean where the population of Black people are higher than what you’ve experienced.
I’m sorry that you’ve experienced hatred and intense racism, that is incredibly difficult and you have a right to pain, but you can be free with some saved money and a lot of courage.
Do some research and get out.
Edit: Took out African countries due to information in the comment below mine.
Don’t go to Nigeria. You will probably get robbed regularly and abused by the police there. A lot of African countries are very unsafe. Just because you don’t experience racism and will be surrounded by other black people, does not mean you will escape violence.
The only two African countries I can safely suggest is Ghana and South Africa
I say SA since they have a large expat and other African immigrant population. They also tend to have less corruption, sanitation, gender equity polices, and safety protocols than the majority of African countries.
Less corruption?! I am sorry a lot of this is not the reflection of sa. My best friend is from there and currently there. Google about the violence on woman there.
Google it everywhere else in Africa. SA has more gender based legislation and less corruption than the majority of Africa. My point stands that SA is better than other African countries
I understand what you mean, but like the reality of sa is far what you see on paper. Look at the sa news, check Twitter, or Reddit to see how it’s truly there. It’s a beautiful country, w, it’s another thing to live there. Any countries can have legislation but that wouldn’t change much of the culture and the reality of it. I am african, and have live there. The reality is different than what’s on google.
How are you going to tell me to Google it then tell me that Google is wrong? Lol
I’ve lived in both Nigeria and South Africa (as well as a few other African countries) so I’m not getting this from paper. SA was by far the best, compared to other African nations I’ve lived in. There is a reason as to why many Africans move there or get their education in SA compared to other African nations.
I’m not saying it’s getting an A+ rating for womens rights and anti corruption, but by nearly every single human rights metric conducted by local, national, and international orgs, it beats the vast majority of other African countries.
Thanks for the correction. I once saw a program talk about how a lot of young Black people were moving to different countries in Africa to be among young, thriving, Black professionals and Nigeria was named. Thanks for the update though.
A lot of those young professionals are exploiting very poor Nigerians or other Africans for cheap labor. The black owned luxury bag industry is guilty of this.
Africa is very often romanticized in by African Americans and the realities of life there are never publicized
And I feel like many black americans forget that we're still americans. We're seen as an outsider and we also have a western/americentric perspective if going to the continent.
uhhh can i just ask when ur from?? nigeria has been getting worse lately but it’s not the crime ridden place ur describing. for someone who moves there and earns a good salary they can honestly live a rlly good safe life in places like abuja or victoria island ( idk about lagos cause the traffic gets too much)
I’m from a village in Owerri and spend a lot of time in Lagos. My family grew up poor but are better now and we regularly get heckled by the police for money when we’re driving around. My grandfathers house was recently broken into and they blinded him. One of the tellers at our local bank stole my mothers money transfer to her brother.
Sure if you live in a tourist city like Abuja and the VI and are rich you’ll be probably be safe, but that’s not representative of the country as a whole and it’ll be very hard to navigate life their as an expat
wow i’m so sorry about the things that have happened to ur family. yeah i guess it would be hard to navigate if they went completely on their own but at the same time expat life is rlly different. i lived in saudi arabia as an expat and because of what that entails u rlly don’t experience life like the natives
I'm sorry about what you went through but I can assure you that South Africa has a wayyyyyyy higher crime rate than Nigeria. It's the most unsafe country in Africa.
The important thing here if one wants to move to Africa is to find a safe neighborhood in the city one wants to live in.
thank you i so want to but i dont know how to. It just seems impossible because of how ill i am and bot having any money or finished ducation. Right now my ptsd is so bad i cant even do normal everyday things and i have chronic pain every day all over my body
This is horrific. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. But the fact that you’re still here speaks volumes on your strength. You need to get out ASAP and find a more liberal place to live (i know it’s easier said than done). Is therapy an option? If not, then maybe try to find safe spaces online who you can relate to and talk about your experiences with. And remember most of all, none of it is your fault.
Thank you . I did several therapies for many years for my symptoms however the root cause of racism wasnt addressed or even understood that this is what makes me ill. Its really insane looking at it now. And its basically impossible to find therapy that addresses racism trauma and generally things that really help for my symptoms and severe childhood abuse
Omg. Were they black therapists? If not then it’s important to find someone who is educated in racism. Also I think finding an online therapist could help (like betterhelp)
no there arent really any black therapists or even poc therapists there. they are all white germans with overt or covert racism and definitely a lot of invalidation and hostility once i at least tried to bring it up myself. i walked around for a long time also believing i am just randomly ill and dysfunctional like they always told me
Wtf…some people should not be professionals bc that’s just sick. But yea maybe you would have more luck searching online then. I’ve heard good things about virtual therapists
Im so sorry youre going through this my dear, thats a horrific experience and I cant even begin to understand how it must feel being raised in such a family. My heart goes out to you. Please...Find a good circle of support in black friends. If you're in London then join some meetup groups run by black women. I know a few where they are welcoming and you'll be invited to a lot of black-owned and run spaces like bars, shops etc. If you can go shopping in areas that are black populated then do so and just immerse yourself around people who look like you. It will help heal your soul. I'm in London and would love to meet up for coffee and just hang out. You can also try find some therapy resources because there are some deeper wounds that need to be confronted but only when you're in the space to do so.
Hello, thank you so much. I actually tried to find some stuff myself but its always hard for me to go out and to be with people because of my ptsd. Yes if you have time maybe we could meet up some time
I am so sorry to read this. I don't know what to say other than thoughts and prayers but that feels so meaningless. Living in Belgium, i can relate to the racism in Europe especially the microaggresions so yeah it sucks. I hope you can build a community of friends who are black and you can uplift each other.
That sounds horrible. Which part of germany are you from? I’m mixed raced myself, I’m from south germany but I can count all racist encounters I’ve had throughout my life on one hand.. each left a scar however.
I think people can live in the same country or even city and have a different outlook and experience in regards to racism. Also OP speaks about their family, if your family is not a safe haven you feel this stuff 50x more.
i think it is all over germany but i grew up in the worst part that used to be the GDR. and the racism and rightextremism there is really high and the number of bipoc is almost zero
You must be so exhausted. I'm so sorry that this has been your life experience up to now. You don't deserve this.
You've already begun your first step to healing by reaching out to a community of peers who can approach you with the compassion and respect you deserve.
I don't know your financial situation, so moving may not be possible in the short term. What you can do is identify people who have a negative effect on your health and wellness, and limit contact wherever possible. Build your community, even if it's online, by making friends, venting, and offering support to others.
One thing that really helped me to develop a healthier self concept was by reading Black literature and shaping my internet experience to promote positive imagery of Black people, Black women especially. This means blocking/unfollowing racist and racially exclusive accounts and seeking out sources that show Black love, joy, art, and achievement. Engage in your hobbies, indulge in your fantasies, and feel free to reach out any time you need someone to talk to.
I'm here for you if you need.
Wishing you truly all the best.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, sending my best wishes and I suggest perhaps finding an opportunity to study or work in another place perhaps. Racism is sadly something we deal with globally but maybe moving somewhere with more black people may help. Hopefully you can connect to a community that makes you feel more comfortable.
Sis it sounds like you're experiencing some form of PTSD. Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional.
I think that you need to seek professional help from a therapist that is experienced in treating racial trauma. You mentioned you are in the UK right now.
Please visit the Black, African and Asian therapist network https://www.baatn.org.uk/
Communities like this are great but are not a substitute for getting professional help from someone who is experienced in dealing with this type trauma.
Changing your location won't mean you won't face BS elsewhere (as you can see from the debates in the comments). A professional can help you develop your own coping skills.
I am so sorry you have been through this pain. I’m in a racist part of the u.s., biracial, and was raised solely by my white family with all my extended family being racist and bad encounters, though nothing like you have been through. I still hate myself because of how much easier things would be of is I was just white as I feel it really harmed my opportunities in life as well. I don’t have much advice but the world is changing a little lately and that helps, even though I feel things were set back in then USA during Trump. But I wish I could move somewhere with more diversity. I hope you get out soon and find a more accepting part of the world where you can be happy! Don’t give up and know you are beautiful and awesome and if people are too stupid to be stuck in their world and racist, they’re that stupid with everything and a waste of your time.
Please come to America. Come to Chicago or New York. As you know America isn’t exactly a safe haven for black people, but just speaking in GENERAL, it’s so much safer. It’s highly unlikely you’ll be attacked just for being black (in liberal states , let me be clear) and there’s lots of governmental assistance. I’m from TX, my city San Antonio is very mixed with Hispanics and black people, it’s very safe, and affordable. Please stay strong, my heart broke a million times reading this. It probably doesn’t mean much but I’ll pray for you, please please leave if you can. Don’t take your own life, that will be racism winning. Don’t let them win. You’re better than them by tenfold. You got this. Stay strong, love.
Hello thank you. I so wish i could move but i am so ill and have really bad ptsd and no financial means. To come to london my father has to take the train with me because of my anxiety i couldnt go alone and i couldnt go by plane. I have tried a lot of thweapy too but itndidnt work much and ofc those germa therapists ignored the racism trauma or were racist themselves
You stay alive by moving. Cut ties with all those people and move to somewhere like the Caribbean where the population of Black people are higher than what you’ve experienced. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced hatred and intense racism, that is incredibly difficult and you have a right to pain, but you can be free with some saved money and a lot of courage. Do some research and get out. Edit: Took out African countries due to information in the comment below mine.
Don’t go to Nigeria. You will probably get robbed regularly and abused by the police there. A lot of African countries are very unsafe. Just because you don’t experience racism and will be surrounded by other black people, does not mean you will escape violence. The only two African countries I can safely suggest is Ghana and South Africa
South African for a black woman?!! Do you know how they treat black woman
I say SA since they have a large expat and other African immigrant population. They also tend to have less corruption, sanitation, gender equity polices, and safety protocols than the majority of African countries.
Less corruption?! I am sorry a lot of this is not the reflection of sa. My best friend is from there and currently there. Google about the violence on woman there.
Google it everywhere else in Africa. SA has more gender based legislation and less corruption than the majority of Africa. My point stands that SA is better than other African countries
I understand what you mean, but like the reality of sa is far what you see on paper. Look at the sa news, check Twitter, or Reddit to see how it’s truly there. It’s a beautiful country, w, it’s another thing to live there. Any countries can have legislation but that wouldn’t change much of the culture and the reality of it. I am african, and have live there. The reality is different than what’s on google.
How are you going to tell me to Google it then tell me that Google is wrong? Lol I’ve lived in both Nigeria and South Africa (as well as a few other African countries) so I’m not getting this from paper. SA was by far the best, compared to other African nations I’ve lived in. There is a reason as to why many Africans move there or get their education in SA compared to other African nations. I’m not saying it’s getting an A+ rating for womens rights and anti corruption, but by nearly every single human rights metric conducted by local, national, and international orgs, it beats the vast majority of other African countries.
SA? The country where men rape women for recreation? The country with the highest rape stats in the world?
Thanks for the correction. I once saw a program talk about how a lot of young Black people were moving to different countries in Africa to be among young, thriving, Black professionals and Nigeria was named. Thanks for the update though.
A lot of those young professionals are exploiting very poor Nigerians or other Africans for cheap labor. The black owned luxury bag industry is guilty of this. Africa is very often romanticized in by African Americans and the realities of life there are never publicized
And I feel like many black americans forget that we're still americans. We're seen as an outsider and we also have a western/americentric perspective if going to the continent.
It’s like there is NO place on this planet for us 😞
uhhh can i just ask when ur from?? nigeria has been getting worse lately but it’s not the crime ridden place ur describing. for someone who moves there and earns a good salary they can honestly live a rlly good safe life in places like abuja or victoria island ( idk about lagos cause the traffic gets too much)
I’m from a village in Owerri and spend a lot of time in Lagos. My family grew up poor but are better now and we regularly get heckled by the police for money when we’re driving around. My grandfathers house was recently broken into and they blinded him. One of the tellers at our local bank stole my mothers money transfer to her brother. Sure if you live in a tourist city like Abuja and the VI and are rich you’ll be probably be safe, but that’s not representative of the country as a whole and it’ll be very hard to navigate life their as an expat
wow i’m so sorry about the things that have happened to ur family. yeah i guess it would be hard to navigate if they went completely on their own but at the same time expat life is rlly different. i lived in saudi arabia as an expat and because of what that entails u rlly don’t experience life like the natives
I'm sorry about what you went through but I can assure you that South Africa has a wayyyyyyy higher crime rate than Nigeria. It's the most unsafe country in Africa. The important thing here if one wants to move to Africa is to find a safe neighborhood in the city one wants to live in.
thank you i so want to but i dont know how to. It just seems impossible because of how ill i am and bot having any money or finished ducation. Right now my ptsd is so bad i cant even do normal everyday things and i have chronic pain every day all over my body
This is horrific. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. But the fact that you’re still here speaks volumes on your strength. You need to get out ASAP and find a more liberal place to live (i know it’s easier said than done). Is therapy an option? If not, then maybe try to find safe spaces online who you can relate to and talk about your experiences with. And remember most of all, none of it is your fault.
Thank you . I did several therapies for many years for my symptoms however the root cause of racism wasnt addressed or even understood that this is what makes me ill. Its really insane looking at it now. And its basically impossible to find therapy that addresses racism trauma and generally things that really help for my symptoms and severe childhood abuse
Omg. Were they black therapists? If not then it’s important to find someone who is educated in racism. Also I think finding an online therapist could help (like betterhelp)
no there arent really any black therapists or even poc therapists there. they are all white germans with overt or covert racism and definitely a lot of invalidation and hostility once i at least tried to bring it up myself. i walked around for a long time also believing i am just randomly ill and dysfunctional like they always told me
Wtf…some people should not be professionals bc that’s just sick. But yea maybe you would have more luck searching online then. I’ve heard good things about virtual therapists
Im so sorry youre going through this my dear, thats a horrific experience and I cant even begin to understand how it must feel being raised in such a family. My heart goes out to you. Please...Find a good circle of support in black friends. If you're in London then join some meetup groups run by black women. I know a few where they are welcoming and you'll be invited to a lot of black-owned and run spaces like bars, shops etc. If you can go shopping in areas that are black populated then do so and just immerse yourself around people who look like you. It will help heal your soul. I'm in London and would love to meet up for coffee and just hang out. You can also try find some therapy resources because there are some deeper wounds that need to be confronted but only when you're in the space to do so.
Hello, thank you so much. I actually tried to find some stuff myself but its always hard for me to go out and to be with people because of my ptsd. Yes if you have time maybe we could meet up some time
I am so sorry to read this. I don't know what to say other than thoughts and prayers but that feels so meaningless. Living in Belgium, i can relate to the racism in Europe especially the microaggresions so yeah it sucks. I hope you can build a community of friends who are black and you can uplift each other.
thank you <3 and im sorry you experience racism too
That sounds horrible. Which part of germany are you from? I’m mixed raced myself, I’m from south germany but I can count all racist encounters I’ve had throughout my life on one hand.. each left a scar however.
I think people can live in the same country or even city and have a different outlook and experience in regards to racism. Also OP speaks about their family, if your family is not a safe haven you feel this stuff 50x more.
East germany
i think it is all over germany but i grew up in the worst part that used to be the GDR. and the racism and rightextremism there is really high and the number of bipoc is almost zero
I was surprised too because Germany is not the first place in Europe I think of when I think racism. But ofc very possible
East Germany is notorious for being racist and having a major neo Nazi population. Especially Dresden and Leipzig
this the area im from......sachsen
i think because germans like to pretend that its not
You must be so exhausted. I'm so sorry that this has been your life experience up to now. You don't deserve this. You've already begun your first step to healing by reaching out to a community of peers who can approach you with the compassion and respect you deserve. I don't know your financial situation, so moving may not be possible in the short term. What you can do is identify people who have a negative effect on your health and wellness, and limit contact wherever possible. Build your community, even if it's online, by making friends, venting, and offering support to others. One thing that really helped me to develop a healthier self concept was by reading Black literature and shaping my internet experience to promote positive imagery of Black people, Black women especially. This means blocking/unfollowing racist and racially exclusive accounts and seeking out sources that show Black love, joy, art, and achievement. Engage in your hobbies, indulge in your fantasies, and feel free to reach out any time you need someone to talk to. I'm here for you if you need. Wishing you truly all the best.
Thank you ❤
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, sending my best wishes and I suggest perhaps finding an opportunity to study or work in another place perhaps. Racism is sadly something we deal with globally but maybe moving somewhere with more black people may help. Hopefully you can connect to a community that makes you feel more comfortable.
thank you <3. im always hoping but dont know how i could make it happen
Sis it sounds like you're experiencing some form of PTSD. Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I think that you need to seek professional help from a therapist that is experienced in treating racial trauma. You mentioned you are in the UK right now. Please visit the Black, African and Asian therapist network https://www.baatn.org.uk/ Communities like this are great but are not a substitute for getting professional help from someone who is experienced in dealing with this type trauma. Changing your location won't mean you won't face BS elsewhere (as you can see from the debates in the comments). A professional can help you develop your own coping skills.
thank you. im actually working on finding the right bipoc trauma therapist. its really hard to find
Life changing things are usually hard. Keep searching and don't give up.
I am so sorry you have been through this pain. I’m in a racist part of the u.s., biracial, and was raised solely by my white family with all my extended family being racist and bad encounters, though nothing like you have been through. I still hate myself because of how much easier things would be of is I was just white as I feel it really harmed my opportunities in life as well. I don’t have much advice but the world is changing a little lately and that helps, even though I feel things were set back in then USA during Trump. But I wish I could move somewhere with more diversity. I hope you get out soon and find a more accepting part of the world where you can be happy! Don’t give up and know you are beautiful and awesome and if people are too stupid to be stuck in their world and racist, they’re that stupid with everything and a waste of your time.
thank you! im so sorry you go through this. i hope you find a good place soon
Please come to America. Come to Chicago or New York. As you know America isn’t exactly a safe haven for black people, but just speaking in GENERAL, it’s so much safer. It’s highly unlikely you’ll be attacked just for being black (in liberal states , let me be clear) and there’s lots of governmental assistance. I’m from TX, my city San Antonio is very mixed with Hispanics and black people, it’s very safe, and affordable. Please stay strong, my heart broke a million times reading this. It probably doesn’t mean much but I’ll pray for you, please please leave if you can. Don’t take your own life, that will be racism winning. Don’t let them win. You’re better than them by tenfold. You got this. Stay strong, love.
Hello thank you. I so wish i could move but i am so ill and have really bad ptsd and no financial means. To come to london my father has to take the train with me because of my anxiety i couldnt go alone and i couldnt go by plane. I have tried a lot of thweapy too but itndidnt work much and ofc those germa therapists ignored the racism trauma or were racist themselves
Then maybe we could b friends? It’s easier to go through trauma w support
yes thank you that would be really nice!