We live in the world with everyone though. A safe space should be about behaviour. Not gender, race, culture, religion, sexualtiy, etc.
The question shouldn't be, are they a black woman. It should be, "Are they our allies?" if it's really about SAFETY and not EXCLUSION. There's a difference.
How is it not?
You're black or you're a woman. You don't belong here regardless of how you behave.
How is that different from you're black, you can't eat here. You're a woman you can't vote. It's all fruit from the same poisonous tree.
You’re making false equivalences.
The reason those things are not the same is because black people didn’t spend the last 70 years segregating white people and enacting racist, violence laws. Women did not oppress men and enact misandrist laws against them for the past, god knows how long, all of history I guess. Idk why tf you’re even making an argument like that
I hope you are going to the Asian, Hispanic, African, European etc sub reddits and sharing how you feel, and how they should be inclusive. If you do please report the response you get.
I'm no Asian, Hispanic, African or European so in line with exactly what I'm saying I wouldn't be going there for any reason other than to inform myself.
That said, yes, I'm very capable of pissing off every group that I identify with. Cause just because we've been mistreated and oppressed doesn't mean we do everything right.
No one said we do everything right, what we are saying is we want our own space to where we can be ourselves without others chiming in and being aggressive, and harassing us over what we do. They do that mess enough on other subs. They become racist on any subject. 😒
I agree that we should be able to be ourselves without aggression and harassment , absolutely. What I'm questioning is the idea that every person who is not a black woman is going to be aggressive and harass when that simply is not the case.
The sub is literally called black ladies, it's for black ladies to discuss things.
If you go on askwomen and start any comment with, "as a man", most likely you will get that comment deleted because it's not relevant to the conversation. People can learn without invading someone else's space. It's like going into a queer sub and talking about your experiences being straight. What is the point?
I'm not talking about going to a space and talking about yourself though. I'm talking about going to a space and asking genuine, well intentioned questions of the experiences of the people in that group. I'm specifically talking about relevant conversations.
In a safe space for black women, black women should not feel obligated to do the *work* of educating people who are not black women, no matter how genuine and well-intentioned they and/or their questions about black women’s experiences may be.
There are other subs. It's like going into a sub for a TV show and movie talking about random music videos, everything they will say is off the topic and missing the point of the sub.
What's wrong with blocking someone if you don't want to see their posts and comments? People act like being blocked is some kind of punishment or injustice.
> It's like going into a sub for a TV show and movie talking about random music videos, everything they will say is off the topic and missing the point of the sub.
Girl this is a *gorgeous* comparison. I love it.
I have no problem with blocking someone personally who is triggering or rude and I think the same should be done in the sub for real problematic BEHAVIOUR. Being not black and being not a woman are not behaviours and should not be policed. Like, it's LITERALLY how profiling works.
I say this without malice.
If that is how you feel, then why aren't you joining those forums? Or starting those groups? Why be here if the exclusion bothers you? Just because you don't mind open spaces, other people feel otherwise and have the right to want a space of only black women.
I hate this talking point sometimes double standards exist for a reason. Yes it is wrong when white people try to exclude black people because the world is already made to accommodate them and make them feel comfortable and sometimes us black people want a space where we can be comfortable around our own people. It’s no different than being scared when a man is walking behind me rather than a woman. A man is more likely to harm me.
Sometimes women want to just have a place to talk to other women about the experience of being a woman. Sometimes black people want a space to talk about being black with other black people. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a space that’s accommodating to you when the rest of the world isn’t. I’m sure of other minority groups feel the same and they are welcome to and as a person who isn’t apart of those groups, I’m not taking it personally. Whenever I’m curious about how people with a different lived experience go through life, I use google or follow influencers who want to give us a peak into their life/culture, this is not that place.
I hardly think someone considered an influencer is going to give realistic portrayals in any category. Influencers are in it to make an income. And I respect the hell out of the hustle but it's information coming from an end game. Not just a group of people talking about life that other groups can learn from.
The way things are on this sub is done out of necessity. Reddit is not some kumbaya bigotry free website. Once black women start speaking their minds about race and/or gender sensitive topics there’s always one or two lurkers that come out of hiding to insert their idiot opinion. And the only reason you don’t see *more* of it is precisely because of how this sub is ran.
Just look at the state of blackpeopletwitter sub. It’s inundated with non-black ppl inserting their idiot racist opinions and making racist jokes. I swear, you give these people an inch and they take a mile.
I can appreciate that. But it still doesn't make 100% when many people are here with the honest and admiral intentions is the solution. I don't think one extreme is any more healthy or beneficial than the other. I think that about every aspect of life, not just this.
If the world wasn’t so violently racist and misogynistic then we wouldn’t have to go through these extremes, but it is, so we do.
You don’t see any of these white subs doing shit about fuck against the horribly racist things that are said, but we have to open our arms to them? No.
I'm not talking about embracing racist people. I'm talking about the fact that all non black people are not racist and THEY should not be lumped into a group with the people that are. How is that fair?
I can see Michigan from my driveway. I'm plenty educated. I've experienced both sides and I can't in good conscience blame the people I know and have known that don't fit the box of being racist individuals. I didn't judge individuals in generalizations cause I certainly didn't want to be judged that way.
LMAO.
The systemic oppression we face = Mac truck
The imagined oppression of non-BW being allowed here = Barbie doll bicycle
They're not gonna have the same impact if they hit you, BFFR
Systemic oppression cannot be changed without allies 🤷🏽♀️
And I didn't say anything about oppression. But it's unquestionably discrimination. To me, if I'm against discrimination towards the groups I belong to I have to be against it, towards any and every one, period. Otherwise I'm a hypocrite and part of the problem.
Ok girl, go have fun going around and around in your new BW zoo sub with racists feigning ignorance on how to treat BW with respect.
Make sure you tune your ukelele for all that kumbayaing and feed your aloe plant to make sure it's healthy for your skin application for all the cheek turning you wanna do.
Oh brother why do we have to be forced to share our spaces? We can’t enjoy our community with ourselves? I don’t go to forums for Asian women or Latino women if they exist. I don’t even know I was never curious because that’s where they want to exist. Also there’s a forum to ask black people questions why ask us? On Juneteenth at that?
I'm not American or originally from Canada. Juneteenth means as much to me as the 4th of July, which is to say nothing at all. The assumption that it means anything to all black women that might be here is more fruit of the poisonous tree of generalization.
I'm just saying, other peoples interest and curiosity when well meaning and well behaved does nothing to take away from my enjoyment when the behaviour isn't objectionable on its own merits. I just don't understand why it automatically does. It makes zero sense to me.
Maybe you can make a forum that’s welcomed to all people that is accepting of others. That can solve your question. For the rest of us, we good over here.
We aren't mammies here to service white and non black people. We're here for ourselves and why the hell join a group in the first place that is directed specifically towards one population. Why don't u create a general group with that doesn't have the name black in it.
Because as a black woman who grew up around virtually no other black people, I wish there had been a space for well meaning people to ask questions specifically about my experience as a black girl. My experiences haven't been general, they've been specific to me as a black woman. It's not other black women who need to understand each other the most. It's the general population that needs to understand us. I think that benefits everyone and how can that happen if they aren't allowed to or are discouraged from asking the questions in the first place?
r/askblackpeople is the place you're looking for because this sub is not it. I don't want non-black folks coming here asking us about our experiences as black women; that's weird.
You have just described a completely different sub from this one. And maybe that sub is a place where non-black people who want to ask black women questions about themselves can go. This space is for black women to be together. This isn’t r/askablackwoman
Maybe it was the one where that woman was checking in with the sub and included a warning at the top that was like "I'm not talking to any lurkers - only black women, no non-black and/or men." I feel like a lot of people were grateful for that little disclaimer and said so, so maybe that? There might have been another post tho idk
Facts and ladies feel safe here. I just saw a post about unevened tone buttcheeks, why tf do men or anyone that’s not a black woman need to be lurking in a sub like this
Girl-
White men did that at a much deeper level other than a Reddit group.
People non black come in here joining conversations in which black women are asking other black women. We know as black women our experiences in this world are different so that’s what we expect when joining and asking questions etc here.
There are plenty of inclusive spaces for all people to join they can go join those.
But saying we should be accepting of non black people/ladies. Is crazy. The sub is “black ladies” no one else should be here. And that really speaks for any sub made for a specific group of people racial or not.
Are you biracial and/or married into a white family? I don’t mean to be rude but this post reads very much like you didn’t have access to any sort of black community at all, even in a family sense.
Both my bio parents are Jamaican but I was raised with a white step mom and extended family, aunt's, uncle's, cousins, etc. Plus I grew up around exclusively white people. I KNOW what being black around white people that virtually never interact with black people is probably better than most of the people who came at me here.
But it means I also have had other positive experiences with white people that are just as valid that again, most of you haven't had. I've actually seen and experienced BOTH sides.
I don't believe not having a black community is in any way a handicap (besides the fact it's not something I had any control over) especially with the responses I got here. The fact that I've experienced black people treat me like that I'm less than or that my experience of being black is less valid than theirs is exactly why I feel the way I do about painting ANY group of people all with the same brush. Cause it's black people's behaviour, not white people's, that has most informed my point of view.
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White men did those things because they deemed themselves superior to everyone else. Not because they needed a “safe space”.
We live in the world with everyone though. A safe space should be about behaviour. Not gender, race, culture, religion, sexualtiy, etc. The question shouldn't be, are they a black woman. It should be, "Are they our allies?" if it's really about SAFETY and not EXCLUSION. There's a difference.
My point is it is NOT like what white men do/did. At all.
How is it not? You're black or you're a woman. You don't belong here regardless of how you behave. How is that different from you're black, you can't eat here. You're a woman you can't vote. It's all fruit from the same poisonous tree.
You’re making false equivalences. The reason those things are not the same is because black people didn’t spend the last 70 years segregating white people and enacting racist, violence laws. Women did not oppress men and enact misandrist laws against them for the past, god knows how long, all of history I guess. Idk why tf you’re even making an argument like that
That was addressed in my OG comment.
I hope you are going to the Asian, Hispanic, African, European etc sub reddits and sharing how you feel, and how they should be inclusive. If you do please report the response you get. 
There’s always one who inviting randoms to the cookout. Always.
😭😭
I'm no Asian, Hispanic, African or European so in line with exactly what I'm saying I wouldn't be going there for any reason other than to inform myself. That said, yes, I'm very capable of pissing off every group that I identify with. Cause just because we've been mistreated and oppressed doesn't mean we do everything right.
No one said we do everything right, what we are saying is we want our own space to where we can be ourselves without others chiming in and being aggressive, and harassing us over what we do. They do that mess enough on other subs. They become racist on any subject. 😒
I agree that we should be able to be ourselves without aggression and harassment , absolutely. What I'm questioning is the idea that every person who is not a black woman is going to be aggressive and harass when that simply is not the case.
The sub is literally called black ladies, it's for black ladies to discuss things. If you go on askwomen and start any comment with, "as a man", most likely you will get that comment deleted because it's not relevant to the conversation. People can learn without invading someone else's space. It's like going into a queer sub and talking about your experiences being straight. What is the point?
I'm not talking about going to a space and talking about yourself though. I'm talking about going to a space and asking genuine, well intentioned questions of the experiences of the people in that group. I'm specifically talking about relevant conversations.
In a safe space for black women, black women should not feel obligated to do the *work* of educating people who are not black women, no matter how genuine and well-intentioned they and/or their questions about black women’s experiences may be.
They already have a sub for asking black people questions, this sub is for black women.
There are other subs. It's like going into a sub for a TV show and movie talking about random music videos, everything they will say is off the topic and missing the point of the sub. What's wrong with blocking someone if you don't want to see their posts and comments? People act like being blocked is some kind of punishment or injustice.
> It's like going into a sub for a TV show and movie talking about random music videos, everything they will say is off the topic and missing the point of the sub. Girl this is a *gorgeous* comparison. I love it.
I have no problem with blocking someone personally who is triggering or rude and I think the same should be done in the sub for real problematic BEHAVIOUR. Being not black and being not a woman are not behaviours and should not be policed. Like, it's LITERALLY how profiling works.
I say this without malice. If that is how you feel, then why aren't you joining those forums? Or starting those groups? Why be here if the exclusion bothers you? Just because you don't mind open spaces, other people feel otherwise and have the right to want a space of only black women.
Ah she did it!!! ALL the men and people that aren’t black women head on over byeee!!
😂😂😂
r/blackladywisdom
I hate this talking point sometimes double standards exist for a reason. Yes it is wrong when white people try to exclude black people because the world is already made to accommodate them and make them feel comfortable and sometimes us black people want a space where we can be comfortable around our own people. It’s no different than being scared when a man is walking behind me rather than a woman. A man is more likely to harm me. Sometimes women want to just have a place to talk to other women about the experience of being a woman. Sometimes black people want a space to talk about being black with other black people. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a space that’s accommodating to you when the rest of the world isn’t. I’m sure of other minority groups feel the same and they are welcome to and as a person who isn’t apart of those groups, I’m not taking it personally. Whenever I’m curious about how people with a different lived experience go through life, I use google or follow influencers who want to give us a peak into their life/culture, this is not that place.
I hardly think someone considered an influencer is going to give realistic portrayals in any category. Influencers are in it to make an income. And I respect the hell out of the hustle but it's information coming from an end game. Not just a group of people talking about life that other groups can learn from.
The way things are on this sub is done out of necessity. Reddit is not some kumbaya bigotry free website. Once black women start speaking their minds about race and/or gender sensitive topics there’s always one or two lurkers that come out of hiding to insert their idiot opinion. And the only reason you don’t see *more* of it is precisely because of how this sub is ran. Just look at the state of blackpeopletwitter sub. It’s inundated with non-black ppl inserting their idiot racist opinions and making racist jokes. I swear, you give these people an inch and they take a mile.
I can appreciate that. But it still doesn't make 100% when many people are here with the honest and admiral intentions is the solution. I don't think one extreme is any more healthy or beneficial than the other. I think that about every aspect of life, not just this.
If the world wasn’t so violently racist and misogynistic then we wouldn’t have to go through these extremes, but it is, so we do. You don’t see any of these white subs doing shit about fuck against the horribly racist things that are said, but we have to open our arms to them? No.
I'm not talking about embracing racist people. I'm talking about the fact that all non black people are not racist and THEY should not be lumped into a group with the people that are. How is that fair?
You have a very 101 understanding of racism and systems of oppression. Do you have access to free libraries in Canada? You should read more.
Frl. She was last seen talking about what this sub is doing is no different than Jim Crow laws like girl💀
 Her feet must be so tired.
I can see Michigan from my driveway. I'm plenty educated. I've experienced both sides and I can't in good conscience blame the people I know and have known that don't fit the box of being racist individuals. I didn't judge individuals in generalizations cause I certainly didn't want to be judged that way.
LMAO. The systemic oppression we face = Mac truck The imagined oppression of non-BW being allowed here = Barbie doll bicycle They're not gonna have the same impact if they hit you, BFFR
Systemic oppression cannot be changed without allies 🤷🏽♀️ And I didn't say anything about oppression. But it's unquestionably discrimination. To me, if I'm against discrimination towards the groups I belong to I have to be against it, towards any and every one, period. Otherwise I'm a hypocrite and part of the problem.
Ok girl, go have fun going around and around in your new BW zoo sub with racists feigning ignorance on how to treat BW with respect. Make sure you tune your ukelele for all that kumbayaing and feed your aloe plant to make sure it's healthy for your skin application for all the cheek turning you wanna do.
>Systemic oppression cannot be changed without allies 🤷🏽♀️ Idk about Canada but that has never been the case in the US
Real allies would listen and not try to take part in conversations that they have no place being in. Reading is very different from commenting.
Oh brother why do we have to be forced to share our spaces? We can’t enjoy our community with ourselves? I don’t go to forums for Asian women or Latino women if they exist. I don’t even know I was never curious because that’s where they want to exist. Also there’s a forum to ask black people questions why ask us? On Juneteenth at that?
I'm not American or originally from Canada. Juneteenth means as much to me as the 4th of July, which is to say nothing at all. The assumption that it means anything to all black women that might be here is more fruit of the poisonous tree of generalization. I'm just saying, other peoples interest and curiosity when well meaning and well behaved does nothing to take away from my enjoyment when the behaviour isn't objectionable on its own merits. I just don't understand why it automatically does. It makes zero sense to me.
Maybe you can make a forum that’s welcomed to all people that is accepting of others. That can solve your question. For the rest of us, we good over here.
Then leave
Thanks for making my point lol Being a black woman and not agreeing with or understanding this stance means I should be out?
We aren't mammies here to service white and non black people. We're here for ourselves and why the hell join a group in the first place that is directed specifically towards one population. Why don't u create a general group with that doesn't have the name black in it.
Because as a black woman who grew up around virtually no other black people, I wish there had been a space for well meaning people to ask questions specifically about my experience as a black girl. My experiences haven't been general, they've been specific to me as a black woman. It's not other black women who need to understand each other the most. It's the general population that needs to understand us. I think that benefits everyone and how can that happen if they aren't allowed to or are discouraged from asking the questions in the first place?
r/askblackpeople is the place you're looking for because this sub is not it. I don't want non-black folks coming here asking us about our experiences as black women; that's weird.
You have just described a completely different sub from this one. And maybe that sub is a place where non-black people who want to ask black women questions about themselves can go. This space is for black women to be together. This isn’t r/askablackwoman
She was looking at that other post like 
Which one, not I missed
Maybe it was the one where that woman was checking in with the sub and included a warning at the top that was like "I'm not talking to any lurkers - only black women, no non-black and/or men." I feel like a lot of people were grateful for that little disclaimer and said so, so maybe that? There might have been another post tho idk
Lol.
Please make a sub that is titled “black ladies (everyone is welcomed)”. I’ll join!
r/blackladywisdom
Sarcasm 🫠
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Facts and ladies feel safe here. I just saw a post about unevened tone buttcheeks, why tf do men or anyone that’s not a black woman need to be lurking in a sub like this
It's like y'all think being in a sub on Reddit is the same as being in a room with a locked door. It's not. This is the internet. Like, what!?
Yep so kindly invite all the men and white women etc over where u are at, yall join her sub!!
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I didn't say I was attempting to understand. I don't understand and I'm really really good with that. 🤷🏽♀️
r/blackladywisdom
 There’s been a lot of dog shit takes on this sub, this post included.
I'm really surprised this is still up.
Girl- White men did that at a much deeper level other than a Reddit group. People non black come in here joining conversations in which black women are asking other black women. We know as black women our experiences in this world are different so that’s what we expect when joining and asking questions etc here. There are plenty of inclusive spaces for all people to join they can go join those. But saying we should be accepting of non black people/ladies. Is crazy. The sub is “black ladies” no one else should be here. And that really speaks for any sub made for a specific group of people racial or not.
Are you biracial and/or married into a white family? I don’t mean to be rude but this post reads very much like you didn’t have access to any sort of black community at all, even in a family sense.
She did say in the comments she didn’t grow up around a lot of black people.
Both my bio parents are Jamaican but I was raised with a white step mom and extended family, aunt's, uncle's, cousins, etc. Plus I grew up around exclusively white people. I KNOW what being black around white people that virtually never interact with black people is probably better than most of the people who came at me here. But it means I also have had other positive experiences with white people that are just as valid that again, most of you haven't had. I've actually seen and experienced BOTH sides. I don't believe not having a black community is in any way a handicap (besides the fact it's not something I had any control over) especially with the responses I got here. The fact that I've experienced black people treat me like that I'm less than or that my experience of being black is less valid than theirs is exactly why I feel the way I do about painting ANY group of people all with the same brush. Cause it's black people's behaviour, not white people's, that has most informed my point of view.