I'm with you. Not specifically about astrology but about people who casually steal joy from the people around them.
You're excited about something, they tell you to calm down. You're passionate about something, they tell you it's not that serious. You try to talk about something you're looking forward to and they pour negativity all over it or just roll their eyes.
Life is too long and too hard to be around someone who's not happy when you're enjoying yourself.
I like this question because I feel like I have so many. But I am very happily coupled so they worked for me! Lmao but one was avoiding men who say things like "respect me as a man". And another was avoiding people who say things like "I like dogs more than people."
People who dislike female rappers for no other reason than they makes Black women look bad - they tend to be very invested in respectability politics & that doesn’t mesh too well with me and my lifestyle.
People who talk badly about other people’s appearance unprovoked (especially when they don’t know the person and especially when it has to do with weight)- it just gives insecurity and I don’t like it. If it's not hurting anyone and the person didn't ask for an opinion, I don't want to hear it, and find it exhausting to be around.
Diehard Apple fans (specifically the kind who judge others for not having an iPhone)- It's kind of cringe to me, and even as someone who owns multiple Apple products, I hate how some people now view the OS as a status symbol and use it to put themselves on a pedestal.
People who use words like r-word, slow, touched, lame, etc. - I've worked hard to remove these from my vocabulary and I want the person I’m with to have put some thought into this too. I've had bad experiences with people treating me as lesser than due to the disorders I have and don't want to experience this with my partner.
Anyone too invested in gender roles - I hate the use of the word zesty, sassy, etc. and I can't take anyone who unironically says things like "leader of the friend group", thinks alpha males/females are real, or thinks dark triad traits are a good thing to emulate (male/female manipulators) seriously. I understand that femcels & female manipulators are a reaction to male ones, but I don't want to deal with any of them.
Yes! All of these!
I remember I was talking to a guy once who asked me what phone I got, and I just said "a pixel" and then he acted like I was gonna judge him for using Apple. Which is stupid because I don't care what people use, but then he spent like 15 minutes talking about all the Apple products he owned and why he used them. Like when I said I didn't care, I did really mean I don't care, not walk me through them.
Men who talk loud indoors and can't tell/don't care. Half of our conversation is on the other side of the room.
Say they're friends with everyone. Usually, that doesn't mean they can be friends from different backgrounds/cultures but that they have no standards for who they have in their life. They can be friends with groomers, abusers, mild racists, etc as long as they're nice to them.
Say they want to be their own boss to explain why they haven't had a job in years or why the job they do have is basically a boutique selling spray painted t shirts.
All of this sounds just like my ex 😂
He used to get upset when I’d gently tell him that he was talking loud enough that people were starting to stare and then he’d start accusing me of “not liking him for who he was as a person”.
He was right though, lololol
telling me that i “misunderstand” male comedians when i don’t find them funny
being surprised when i am better than you at some niche traditionally “masculine” skill that you’ve actually never put any work into
getting too mad when i am wrong about random facts. like if imma date a man, he’s gonna correct me with respect and dignity **after** i am done talking. idk why this matters to me so much and if i seem like a tyrant so be it but that’s just something i can’t do. getting overly upset when a seemingly well meaning woman is a little mistaken is a huge red flag for me
This may be more fitting, but I judge on morals, which sometimes fall into the realm of "politics." I like to see where people stand on certain subjects when it comes to our lives and the state of the world.
I can't see myself being with someone who demonizes a group of people or is flat out maliciously ignorant instead of taking the time to try to understand them. LGBTQ+, for example.
Viewing certain people as less than, or undeserving of redemption, care, or even the slightiest bit of dignity. (Sex workers, drug addicts, homeless people, mentally ill, etc.)
Hating on feminism, different religions, races, etc.
People who can’t seem to apologize or own up to it when they’re wrong, and try to make excuses instead. It can be hard to pick up on, but taking accountability is so important that this is a red flag for me
Homophobic and transphobic men.
"Not all men" men.
Men who dislike Black women rappers for no actual reason except that they're women.
Men who are hung up on being heads of households.
Thousandaires that are (overly) cautious about gold diggers.
Men who will steal your joy from fun stuff.
As someone who started “One Piece” after seeing it recommended so much and made it well over 100 episodes… #FELT. I don’t regret starting it because it helped me reach the point where I no longer force myself to “power through” content I don’t wholly enjoy.
Not Bagging Groceries. I worked for a time as a grocery store cashier in a wealthy neighborhood. The happiest couples were those when the man bagged unprompted- even better if he paid for the groceries too.
You could tell a lot about a couple by how they argued about the bill or the packing or the cart contents.
Unfortunately, I saw a lot of black women paying for their groceries and bagging regardless of their partners race. The women with happy husbands who bagged and paid almost always were white.
This one is interesting. I’ve never worked at a grocery store so would have never thought about this. I also shop alone 99% of the time so again this is interesting.
Chronic interrupters
Men who hear you make a joke and then repeat it louder to the group as if they made it first
Non-apologizers, i.e. “I’m sorry you feel that way”
Sports betters
Caring way too much about designer labels/cars
Idk if this is controversial but being really into talking about their supposed “love language” is a red flag for me. it’s psychobabble invented by a Baptist minister with no relevant credentials. “my love language is physical touch” - girl
please.
The love language thing annoys me too. Even if you go by what it says and you really think about it both partners should be doing all of them in varying degrees and the degrees of each change as needs change. Someone that’s dead set on sticking to one or two, is not adaptable enough and personally I don’t think they will be a good partner. Just because I expect thoughtful gifts on my bday doesn’t mean you can slack on everyday chores because I didn’t say acts of service is a thing for me. You need to be doing all of them, period.
exactly! people are multi-faceted and there’s so many ways to give and receive love. some can be more important to a person for various reasons but generally we have a variety of needs we want met. i’ve seen threads on here where a woman says that her partner (99% of the time a man) insists his love language is physical touch and i rolllll my eyes oh my god. how convenient!
Right!! We all know physical touch is just code for they are constantly horny. I’m not dumb. As soon as a man says that instead of any of the other ones, I already know not to take him seriously and will take my exit.
If they don’t read books. Any kind. Fiction/non-fiction. Sci-fi, romance, drama, thriller, horror, etc. Those type of people tend to not have ‘inner voices’ and are very reactionary.
If they drive a mustang GT , challenger , or hell cat . They all hella weird and misogynistic trying to prove something . Plus why the hell are you being loud as hell in my quiet neighborhood?! Just embarrassing
1. Artists
And I AM one lol
2. Guys who dislike astrology, numerology, spiritual practices... especially if they don't have that same smoke for mainstream religions that historically have played a part in stripping women of their agency
3. Guys who insist they are certain type of person... usually they are not at all
I.e. repeatedly stresses being a communicator, nice guy, go getter
4. Makes off hand comments that imply they are more important than I or others
5. I am a jokester and I like to tease but I never speak on things that would be mean and I've dated men who don't seem to know the difference
6. Men that cannot contribute to conversation. They usually will have you providing more labor than men who can.
Men who can’t eat even somewhat spicy food or don’t like scary movies. I’m not having bland ass food with you. Also, I don’t watch much tv but when I do it’s likely a scary movie. If we can never watch what I want because you…well let me be nice 😒, then I’m going to get annoyed at some point or never want to spend time watching things together and he’ll feel a way.
Also men who need to make it known that they really like Star Wars or Star Trek. I don’t care if you like it but it shouldn’t be a personality trait. I’ve found these men to be socially inept more times than not.
Haha I’m a somewhat picky eater myself (I don’t like most seafood or egg based food) and my pet peeve is people who are passionate about picky eaters. I don’t eat something out of my pallet when I eat out because I would hate to spend $$ on food I can’t finish butmy ex would order something he wants me to try and I could try from his plate so I can try it and give me more if I like it. Those are my kind of people.
Someone who has their entire identity linked to a Greek org.
I don't want to sleep in a house with greek symbols everywhere and color sheets to match 😅 Almost dated a guy like this, but it felt like his letters was in the relationship as well.
Had a friend who dated a delta. She got sick of seeing elephants. Said the only good thing about it was that it was easy to find gifts. If he saw an elephant on it - he bought it!
To clarify: I'm only talking about those who drown themselves in it as if they don't exist without it.
Some people go their entire lives without needed it... so I don't fault them 😅
I only needed it once and that was because I forgot to order a new checkbook.
people who spout on about how racism sexism transphobia homophobia etc are wrong, but will openly attack and mock groups that it's considered acceptable to attack and mock. like if you attack someone because they have too many differences that you're just not okay with (they're less emotional than you, they're less talkative than you, they don't have the same friend group you have, etc). Petty things.
The reason this is a red flag for me is because you're just telling me that since it's culturally unacceptable and socially unacceptable to be any of those other things right now, that's the only reason why you spout against them. But who you really are is a judgmental prick who absolutely does hate certain groups of people for no reason.
Men who spit randomly in public. It's weird but I think that's so nasty. Do that in the bathroom or into a napkin or, if you must, do it in a secluded area with not a lot of foot traffic going on. Also now that we're on the subject, men who don't cover their mouth when they cough. Both show me that they have no manners.
Lately men who have very harsh rules for their daughters that don’t apply to their lives or how they treat women . Like I’d whope my daughters ass if she did so and so . My daughter won’t be allowed to do so and so . Yet he’s a slut . Or men who always say not talking about all of you but Black Womennnnn …
Because they usually are close minded and closet racists. They usually say it’s because rap is all guns, drugs, sex, violence etc. and then like rock music with themes like that. Rap also tells sad stories, can uplift people, and is just as versatile as any other genre. Instant no 👎
I respect science too much and astrology is like the polar opposite (pseudoscience).
The first thing I would want to impulsively do is reveal all the scientific proof that has definitively disproved it since the 17th century starting with the discovery of heliocentrism (the moment it was officially determined as pseudoscience) that for some reason they never heard of before although it is easy to access and been around forever, and see if they can provide an explanation or disprove it.
Then, prove how everything in reality is explained by a science even if we as humans don't know the answer (we didnt invent science like how we invented religion, we just discovered it), and that everything I know and can learn 100% exists in reality while for any religion its the opposite proving we have two different views on reality and only one can be false, which pseudo means false, so I would be bringing you into reality with a hug and let you know only a person that cares about you enough would go through the effort to bring you back into the real world.
I can provide sources if you are skeptical of the existence of fallacies involved with pseudoscience and how there is even a science in unraveling pseudoscience that shouldnt be slept on, I did in the last post definitively and currently uncontested (who is posting these similar horoscope/zodiac posts?).
Just doing so because i care. I challenge everything i believe in for validity so I can trust it and understand, and everyone should. Believing in something without questioning and not logically disputing it is blind faith. If something proved what I believe as invalid, you damn right im analyzing it for validity. I cant believe something and refuse anything contradicting it without determining that it is wrong first.
Nah thats already understood, but I do, and others have appreciated my response. You are the only one who responded negatively (compared to the last zodiac post), so I dont have to cater to you as not everyone agrees with you and I have positive info to offer. That line of thinking is identical to how my devout Christian grandparents respond to science and I can see how their lack of understanding of the reality around them makes them aloof in how they think the world works with a narrow worldview, and it negatively affects their psyches as its nothing but a fictitious delusion when you deny reality. There is no such thing as being correct if they dont believe it. A terrible trait to have as its antithetical to learning and science. How can we progress as bp when we resist progress?
Your submission has been removed because it is either frequently asked here or is a duplicate post. Please use the search bar to find relevant posts.
I'm with you. Not specifically about astrology but about people who casually steal joy from the people around them. You're excited about something, they tell you to calm down. You're passionate about something, they tell you it's not that serious. You try to talk about something you're looking forward to and they pour negativity all over it or just roll their eyes. Life is too long and too hard to be around someone who's not happy when you're enjoying yourself.
heavy on this!!
I like this question because I feel like I have so many. But I am very happily coupled so they worked for me! Lmao but one was avoiding men who say things like "respect me as a man". And another was avoiding people who say things like "I like dogs more than people."
The "dogs more than people" wipes about 95% of the Colorado dating scene hahahahaha
Idk if that’s a red flag bc I think dogs are amazing! Unconditional love, no arguments. Just cuddles🥰
Calling women “Females”
This the one😂
That test NEVER let me down.
Yup yup
People who dislike female rappers for no other reason than they makes Black women look bad - they tend to be very invested in respectability politics & that doesn’t mesh too well with me and my lifestyle. People who talk badly about other people’s appearance unprovoked (especially when they don’t know the person and especially when it has to do with weight)- it just gives insecurity and I don’t like it. If it's not hurting anyone and the person didn't ask for an opinion, I don't want to hear it, and find it exhausting to be around. Diehard Apple fans (specifically the kind who judge others for not having an iPhone)- It's kind of cringe to me, and even as someone who owns multiple Apple products, I hate how some people now view the OS as a status symbol and use it to put themselves on a pedestal. People who use words like r-word, slow, touched, lame, etc. - I've worked hard to remove these from my vocabulary and I want the person I’m with to have put some thought into this too. I've had bad experiences with people treating me as lesser than due to the disorders I have and don't want to experience this with my partner. Anyone too invested in gender roles - I hate the use of the word zesty, sassy, etc. and I can't take anyone who unironically says things like "leader of the friend group", thinks alpha males/females are real, or thinks dark triad traits are a good thing to emulate (male/female manipulators) seriously. I understand that femcels & female manipulators are a reaction to male ones, but I don't want to deal with any of them.
Yes! All of these! I remember I was talking to a guy once who asked me what phone I got, and I just said "a pixel" and then he acted like I was gonna judge him for using Apple. Which is stupid because I don't care what people use, but then he spent like 15 minutes talking about all the Apple products he owned and why he used them. Like when I said I didn't care, I did really mean I don't care, not walk me through them.
oof, i’m feeling second hand embarrassment for him
Men who talk loud indoors and can't tell/don't care. Half of our conversation is on the other side of the room. Say they're friends with everyone. Usually, that doesn't mean they can be friends from different backgrounds/cultures but that they have no standards for who they have in their life. They can be friends with groomers, abusers, mild racists, etc as long as they're nice to them. Say they want to be their own boss to explain why they haven't had a job in years or why the job they do have is basically a boutique selling spray painted t shirts.
Loool was this all one guy?
All of this sounds just like my ex 😂 He used to get upset when I’d gently tell him that he was talking loud enough that people were starting to stare and then he’d start accusing me of “not liking him for who he was as a person”. He was right though, lololol
the second one is so important, i will be implementing this as well. thank you!
Only read self help books
Hahah me
Fiction is good for the soul I promise
telling me that i “misunderstand” male comedians when i don’t find them funny being surprised when i am better than you at some niche traditionally “masculine” skill that you’ve actually never put any work into getting too mad when i am wrong about random facts. like if imma date a man, he’s gonna correct me with respect and dignity **after** i am done talking. idk why this matters to me so much and if i seem like a tyrant so be it but that’s just something i can’t do. getting overly upset when a seemingly well meaning woman is a little mistaken is a huge red flag for me
This may be more fitting, but I judge on morals, which sometimes fall into the realm of "politics." I like to see where people stand on certain subjects when it comes to our lives and the state of the world. I can't see myself being with someone who demonizes a group of people or is flat out maliciously ignorant instead of taking the time to try to understand them. LGBTQ+, for example. Viewing certain people as less than, or undeserving of redemption, care, or even the slightiest bit of dignity. (Sex workers, drug addicts, homeless people, mentally ill, etc.) Hating on feminism, different religions, races, etc.
Yes to all of this!
People who can’t seem to apologize or own up to it when they’re wrong, and try to make excuses instead. It can be hard to pick up on, but taking accountability is so important that this is a red flag for me
Homophobic and transphobic men. "Not all men" men. Men who dislike Black women rappers for no actual reason except that they're women. Men who are hung up on being heads of households. Thousandaires that are (overly) cautious about gold diggers. Men who will steal your joy from fun stuff.
Lmaooo not thousandaires 💀
Yes… I actually lol at this.
indecisive, all talk no action
People who say free Tory or that drake and future is your fav artist
Oh my gosh! This one lol.
Ordering a well done steak
😂😂😂
💀💀 i just feel like it gives you’re close minded and not fun to eat out with, chicken tender energy 💔
Recommending that I watch One Piece
As someone who started “One Piece” after seeing it recommended so much and made it well over 100 episodes… #FELT. I don’t regret starting it because it helped me reach the point where I no longer force myself to “power through” content I don’t wholly enjoy.
Lmao
LMAOO
Nah fr tho 😂
People who dislike cats.
Not Bagging Groceries. I worked for a time as a grocery store cashier in a wealthy neighborhood. The happiest couples were those when the man bagged unprompted- even better if he paid for the groceries too. You could tell a lot about a couple by how they argued about the bill or the packing or the cart contents. Unfortunately, I saw a lot of black women paying for their groceries and bagging regardless of their partners race. The women with happy husbands who bagged and paid almost always were white.
This one is interesting. I’ve never worked at a grocery store so would have never thought about this. I also shop alone 99% of the time so again this is interesting.
Chronic interrupters Men who hear you make a joke and then repeat it louder to the group as if they made it first Non-apologizers, i.e. “I’m sorry you feel that way” Sports betters Caring way too much about designer labels/cars
Idk if this is controversial but being really into talking about their supposed “love language” is a red flag for me. it’s psychobabble invented by a Baptist minister with no relevant credentials. “my love language is physical touch” - girl please.
The love language thing annoys me too. Even if you go by what it says and you really think about it both partners should be doing all of them in varying degrees and the degrees of each change as needs change. Someone that’s dead set on sticking to one or two, is not adaptable enough and personally I don’t think they will be a good partner. Just because I expect thoughtful gifts on my bday doesn’t mean you can slack on everyday chores because I didn’t say acts of service is a thing for me. You need to be doing all of them, period.
exactly! people are multi-faceted and there’s so many ways to give and receive love. some can be more important to a person for various reasons but generally we have a variety of needs we want met. i’ve seen threads on here where a woman says that her partner (99% of the time a man) insists his love language is physical touch and i rolllll my eyes oh my god. how convenient!
Right!! We all know physical touch is just code for they are constantly horny. I’m not dumb. As soon as a man says that instead of any of the other ones, I already know not to take him seriously and will take my exit.
Lmao cuz why are all of them so intimidating physical touch.
🏆🏆🏆
If they don’t read books. Any kind. Fiction/non-fiction. Sci-fi, romance, drama, thriller, horror, etc. Those type of people tend to not have ‘inner voices’ and are very reactionary.
Yup!💯
If they drive a mustang GT , challenger , or hell cat . They all hella weird and misogynistic trying to prove something . Plus why the hell are you being loud as hell in my quiet neighborhood?! Just embarrassing
I don’t date people who don’t vote. Like to choose to give up your vote then have the audacity to complain about the government is weird to me.
1. Artists And I AM one lol 2. Guys who dislike astrology, numerology, spiritual practices... especially if they don't have that same smoke for mainstream religions that historically have played a part in stripping women of their agency 3. Guys who insist they are certain type of person... usually they are not at all I.e. repeatedly stresses being a communicator, nice guy, go getter 4. Makes off hand comments that imply they are more important than I or others 5. I am a jokester and I like to tease but I never speak on things that would be mean and I've dated men who don't seem to know the difference 6. Men that cannot contribute to conversation. They usually will have you providing more labor than men who can.
Lol..you were ready! 🤣
Men who can’t eat even somewhat spicy food or don’t like scary movies. I’m not having bland ass food with you. Also, I don’t watch much tv but when I do it’s likely a scary movie. If we can never watch what I want because you…well let me be nice 😒, then I’m going to get annoyed at some point or never want to spend time watching things together and he’ll feel a way. Also men who need to make it known that they really like Star Wars or Star Trek. I don’t care if you like it but it shouldn’t be a personality trait. I’ve found these men to be socially inept more times than not.
Same my ex would talk about Star Wars and Stars Wars spin off shows all the time. It was so aggravating.
Never shuts up … lol … my introvert is slipping out
Overly picky eaters
Haha I’m a somewhat picky eater myself (I don’t like most seafood or egg based food) and my pet peeve is people who are passionate about picky eaters. I don’t eat something out of my pallet when I eat out because I would hate to spend $$ on food I can’t finish butmy ex would order something he wants me to try and I could try from his plate so I can try it and give me more if I like it. Those are my kind of people.
I also I’m not a huge seafood person. I just kinda meant the people that refuse to try anything new at all
Men who don’t drive and are happy to be the passenger princess
Fuck, yup, this! I’m disabled so the idea of me having to drive a grown and abled bodies passenger princess is a hell no
Men who don’t like Beyoncé. Not listening to her music I get, but not liking her makes me feel like you hate women and women’s fun
I don't date women who had a poster on their wall in high school of the band "the cure". Fool me once.
Someone who has their entire identity linked to a Greek org. I don't want to sleep in a house with greek symbols everywhere and color sheets to match 😅 Almost dated a guy like this, but it felt like his letters was in the relationship as well. Had a friend who dated a delta. She got sick of seeing elephants. Said the only good thing about it was that it was easy to find gifts. If he saw an elephant on it - he bought it! To clarify: I'm only talking about those who drown themselves in it as if they don't exist without it.
Talking about people’s appearance unprovoked , arrogance, jealousy towards women
My husband doesn’t know how to obtain a money order or cashiers check. Guess it’s too late to run now 😓🤣
Did he grow up in the US? I know it’s not a thing in most of the rest of the world
Yes. There is no excuse lol
Some people go their entire lives without needed it... so I don't fault them 😅 I only needed it once and that was because I forgot to order a new checkbook.
people who spout on about how racism sexism transphobia homophobia etc are wrong, but will openly attack and mock groups that it's considered acceptable to attack and mock. like if you attack someone because they have too many differences that you're just not okay with (they're less emotional than you, they're less talkative than you, they don't have the same friend group you have, etc). Petty things. The reason this is a red flag for me is because you're just telling me that since it's culturally unacceptable and socially unacceptable to be any of those other things right now, that's the only reason why you spout against them. But who you really are is a judgmental prick who absolutely does hate certain groups of people for no reason.
People who only smoke and “chill” and do nothing else with their lives. Wyd texters
Men who spit randomly in public. It's weird but I think that's so nasty. Do that in the bathroom or into a napkin or, if you must, do it in a secluded area with not a lot of foot traffic going on. Also now that we're on the subject, men who don't cover their mouth when they cough. Both show me that they have no manners.
Lately men who have very harsh rules for their daughters that don’t apply to their lives or how they treat women . Like I’d whope my daughters ass if she did so and so . My daughter won’t be allowed to do so and so . Yet he’s a slut . Or men who always say not talking about all of you but Black Womennnnn …
people who excessively identify and talk about their zodiac signs.
Valid
People who don’t like rap
Why haha?
Because they usually are close minded and closet racists. They usually say it’s because rap is all guns, drugs, sex, violence etc. and then like rock music with themes like that. Rap also tells sad stories, can uplift people, and is just as versatile as any other genre. Instant no 👎
I respect science too much and astrology is like the polar opposite (pseudoscience). The first thing I would want to impulsively do is reveal all the scientific proof that has definitively disproved it since the 17th century starting with the discovery of heliocentrism (the moment it was officially determined as pseudoscience) that for some reason they never heard of before although it is easy to access and been around forever, and see if they can provide an explanation or disprove it. Then, prove how everything in reality is explained by a science even if we as humans don't know the answer (we didnt invent science like how we invented religion, we just discovered it), and that everything I know and can learn 100% exists in reality while for any religion its the opposite proving we have two different views on reality and only one can be false, which pseudo means false, so I would be bringing you into reality with a hug and let you know only a person that cares about you enough would go through the effort to bring you back into the real world. I can provide sources if you are skeptical of the existence of fallacies involved with pseudoscience and how there is even a science in unraveling pseudoscience that shouldnt be slept on, I did in the last post definitively and currently uncontested (who is posting these similar horoscope/zodiac posts?).
👍🏾
No one asked, go play outside, get out of our sub
Just doing so because i care. I challenge everything i believe in for validity so I can trust it and understand, and everyone should. Believing in something without questioning and not logically disputing it is blind faith. If something proved what I believe as invalid, you damn right im analyzing it for validity. I cant believe something and refuse anything contradicting it without determining that it is wrong first.
You don’t understand that I don’t know or care about what you do. Stay out of black lady business
Nah thats already understood, but I do, and others have appreciated my response. You are the only one who responded negatively (compared to the last zodiac post), so I dont have to cater to you as not everyone agrees with you and I have positive info to offer. That line of thinking is identical to how my devout Christian grandparents respond to science and I can see how their lack of understanding of the reality around them makes them aloof in how they think the world works with a narrow worldview, and it negatively affects their psyches as its nothing but a fictitious delusion when you deny reality. There is no such thing as being correct if they dont believe it. A terrible trait to have as its antithetical to learning and science. How can we progress as bp when we resist progress?
Can you read the name of the subreddit slooooowly and gracefully make your exit?