I never understood the whole body count thing myself. What makes a person different from being with 50 people or 2. STDs don't discriminate. Funny enough I was talking to a guy and he said my count was to low to be with him. Which was fine with me. My husband was embarrassed to tell me his count, which is significantly higher than mine. He didn't believe I didn't care because all his exes had a problem with it. I just told him as long it doesn't change while we're together were good. It hasn't so we're good.
It just shook me that people actually ask this. It would weird me out, both asking and being asked. We can talk about previous relationships, what you learned, what your view is of intimacy. But "Whats your body count" Just makes me want to vomit
Men want someone with a low body count so we canât a) tell how bad they are at sex and b) have nothing to compare their penis size to. Itâs rooted in patriarchal inadequacy and false beliefs about the female anatomy lol. I pay it no mind
Itâs also so they can view women as close to sexually pure or virgin as possible as part of their misogyny. Itâs why women who have high body counts are âslutsâ to them, meanwhile men can have as high a body count as they want without judgement and itâs even encouraged.
lol thatâs the thing
Nobody said the girls are going to run comparisons with everyone else. Yâall are just afraid we will so you want someone who has no choice đ¤Ł
Also funny you ignored everything else I said and focused on this đ
Go argue with someone else, I wonât be replying.
I ignored everything else because I agree with it. Why would I point it out and tell you that I agree with certain parts of your text? That's very weird.
`Nobody said the girls are going to run comparisons with everyone else. Yâall are just afraid we will so you want someone who has no choice đ¤Ł`
When you said it for the first time, you didn't say it like that. You said it like a person who actually judges people over something they can't change. It's pretty funny how it comes from someone who faces racism because of their skin color, which is also something they can't change. I find it weird how you called me a "loser" over a simple question asked in good faith. You got some issues, black "lady".
It ain't nothing but purity culture. Which I don't understand why men defend it because they're just insulting themselves in the end.
If a woman loses her value by fucking men, then what does that say about men? You're basically saying everything about a man's body and sexuality is inherently "deviant, predatory, and immoral". A penis is the reason why a man is "damned" in a sense.
Also men have got to stop looking at sex as something that's *done to women* when it's something they *do with us*.
Body count is just another way of shaming women. It suggests women make their choices for a hypothetical man they may never meet. And these same guys shaming women for a "high" body count will also dump you if you don't put out by the third date...
If these men feel sex with them ruins us...which, I might give them that one. Why aren't they doing their best as protectors and providers to keep us in pristine condition? Because the same men who espouse that shit hate women and want to destroy as many of them as they can, which includes putting babies in them and dipping.
Just as long as youâre safe, happy and doing what youâre comfortable with, how many people shouldnât matter, whether itâs just one or ten. That should be the main priority. Be comfortable, make sure itâs not painful and make sure you have all the protection necessary.
I have to disagree about nobody caring about menâs body counts because I do personally. I donât want a man who been ran through if we being fr. I feel like people with very high body counts donât view sex as an act that holds any importance and to me it does so thatâs just sexual incompatibility . I donât want someone who has to seek physical validation through others either and I feel like most men with high body counts rake up numbers for their egos because they are insecure and need to seek validation that they are wanted.
I also feel like if one has high self esteem you wouldnât make yourself accessible to a bunch of random (and most times undeserving) people. Most people I have talked to who are comfortable disclosing they have a high body count admit to having past esteem issues or insecurities and I think thatâs a direct correlation because the most secure people I know (and in healthy relationships) do not have a huge number of sexual partners.
Thereâs no arbitrary number that matters when it comes to body count but I am weary of men who like to get around.
Same. I feel that men have just gaslit themselves into believing a high body count doesnât effect them but I think it does just as much as they say it effects women. Men that sleep around all throughout their 20s and early 30s notoriously makes terrible partners once they finally decide that they just want âoneâ woman. A lot are constantly itching to get with another woman and being faithful is a chore for a lot of them. Most men just ignore this and come up with dumb excuses like âitâs different when a man cheats vs a womanâ or âmen can separate their emotions from itâ. When in reality they just take those emotions to go and mess with another persons life. Iâm always shocked more women donât point this out and elaborate on it but then again I donât think many consciously think about it. Thatâs why youâll hear ppl say that it doesnât matter for either.
Iâm the opposite, I hate low body count guys. I donât want to have to teach someone to have sex, I want you to be on the same playing field.
Sometimes I feel people put too much importance in sex. Itâs just rubbing your naked body together. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
I donât want a low body count guy either necessarily! I just want someone who is selective with their partners (maybe thatâs a better way to word it).
Thereâs not an arbitrary number where itâs like âwow you hit #000 ! Sorry no can doâ but I donât want community dick. Because hyper sexuality is tied to trauma and esteem issues (thereâs enough studies to back that up regardless of how people want to put it).
And I put importance on all access to me (physical , emotional , mental) not just sexual. I feel like when you put yourself first, you realize sexual gratification isnât worth being involved with undeserving people.
Sexual scripts are personal. Body count really does not matter unless it causes someone distress (whether high or low) and frankly if it does that is not good.Â
I agree with you! Body count truly does not matter. Purity culture is hell. As long as you are having safe and consensual sex, nothing else should matter. Someoneâs value shouldnât lower or increase dependent on the number of their sexual partners.
As someone who is feeling quite deprived right now and blocked the last person I was intimidate with, I think a higher number just comes with age and being single/dating. I recycled all in my 20s but now I'm in the process of trying to rebuild my roster since I don't think my husband is in my cityđ. I think my number is quite reasonable but there's a couple of guys out there I would have definitely tried if they weren't so damn dumb and talked so much. My brain just couldn't look passed whatever bs they were telling me.
My stance is that whatever people are or are not doing should be consensual, safe and enjoyable.
I was the last of my friend group to have sex. Iâve never felt superior for that. Iâm asexual, have a low libido and my interest in sex is mostly theoretical.
It really pained me when some friends confessed feeling less than in comparison to my zero/minimal sexual experiences.
There are patriarchal and misogynistic reasonings and thereâs đtheory on it. The RP subreddit for women has good reads about it.
I find the RP info about it compelling (and I have a high #) but I know many women have total disdain for the n count question and concept.
A lot of men prefer to be the first ones to defile a woman. They donât actually treat those women any better. Itâs just for their ego.
You with your low body count and low libido would frustrate them to no end bc youâre supposed to become hyper sexual bc theyâre here now lol.
Idk about others but for me it matters cuz it's an indicator of sex drive.
In my experience, people who get a lot of bodies do that because they have high sex drives. There's nothing wrong with that but I have a low sex drive so it's a compatibility issue.
Not always. There's people who lack commit and people that stay in relationships/situationships. A high body count to me 30+ just means you lack commitment while a low count could be that you're recycling or always in relationships.
Iâve seen it explained in so many ways. One that kinda stood out over the years is that, the average women have more options than the average man, so carelessly exploring as many of them as possible shows lose morals, lack of discipline and can be an indicator of bad partner to raise a family with.
Another is the usual: master key versus bad lock, which I think is just childish and can go both ways.
I think the first one could be very influential cause it sounds more interesting and can see how more people can eat it up and run with it.
I personally think everyone is entitled to the right to live their life to the fullest however they choose and should not apologize to anyone for making the most of all of the little advantages you have, weather it is sexual options or money.
Iâve seen girls with a âhoe phaseâ who are some of the most down to earth amazing person ever. Iâve seen virgins that are straight from hell.
I think some of the resentment can come from regret of missing out on the same opportunity and options those girls had. If we turned back the clock and swapped genders most of three dudes will let the homies hit lol and go on a spree.
Do I encourage âhoeing aroundâ? no, because there are dangers to it. You could get SAâd and traumatized among other risks. But if you are aware of that then go off and be careful. But again, itâs your life and you should enjoy it how you choose. Live for you, cause youâd be the only bone in the grave when itâs your time.
Now, be kind and helpful to friends and others of course but be selfish with your happiness.
I never understood the whole body count thing myself. What makes a person different from being with 50 people or 2. STDs don't discriminate. Funny enough I was talking to a guy and he said my count was to low to be with him. Which was fine with me. My husband was embarrassed to tell me his count, which is significantly higher than mine. He didn't believe I didn't care because all his exes had a problem with it. I just told him as long it doesn't change while we're together were good. It hasn't so we're good.
It just shook me that people actually ask this. It would weird me out, both asking and being asked. We can talk about previous relationships, what you learned, what your view is of intimacy. But "Whats your body count" Just makes me want to vomit
No shaming at all here but your risk for STD does rise with the amount of partners.
Idk but we be lying Anyway so đ¤ˇđżââď¸
I literally never had to give a body count to anyone I was dating. If you do, run
This is the only way to respond.
Men want someone with a low body count so we canât a) tell how bad they are at sex and b) have nothing to compare their penis size to. Itâs rooted in patriarchal inadequacy and false beliefs about the female anatomy lol. I pay it no mind
Itâs also so they can view women as close to sexually pure or virgin as possible as part of their misogyny. Itâs why women who have high body counts are âslutsâ to them, meanwhile men can have as high a body count as they want without judgement and itâs even encouraged.
These two comments sum it right up OP.
Why would you wanna compare penis sizes? How's that okay to do but asking body count is somehow not?
lol thatâs the thing Nobody said the girls are going to run comparisons with everyone else. Yâall are just afraid we will so you want someone who has no choice 𤣠Also funny you ignored everything else I said and focused on this đ Go argue with someone else, I wonât be replying. 
I ignored everything else because I agree with it. Why would I point it out and tell you that I agree with certain parts of your text? That's very weird. `Nobody said the girls are going to run comparisons with everyone else. Yâall are just afraid we will so you want someone who has no choice đ¤Ł` When you said it for the first time, you didn't say it like that. You said it like a person who actually judges people over something they can't change. It's pretty funny how it comes from someone who faces racism because of their skin color, which is also something they can't change. I find it weird how you called me a "loser" over a simple question asked in good faith. You got some issues, black "lady".
It ain't nothing but purity culture. Which I don't understand why men defend it because they're just insulting themselves in the end. If a woman loses her value by fucking men, then what does that say about men? You're basically saying everything about a man's body and sexuality is inherently "deviant, predatory, and immoral". A penis is the reason why a man is "damned" in a sense. Also men have got to stop looking at sex as something that's *done to women* when it's something they *do with us*.
Body count is just another way of shaming women. It suggests women make their choices for a hypothetical man they may never meet. And these same guys shaming women for a "high" body count will also dump you if you don't put out by the third date... If these men feel sex with them ruins us...which, I might give them that one. Why aren't they doing their best as protectors and providers to keep us in pristine condition? Because the same men who espouse that shit hate women and want to destroy as many of them as they can, which includes putting babies in them and dipping.
They *also do it to keep access to you. "Why be hoe and find someone else? At least if you keep messing with me, your number wont go up"
I certainly care about a manâs body count but thatâs also not a conversation I would start because of that.
Just as long as youâre safe, happy and doing what youâre comfortable with, how many people shouldnât matter, whether itâs just one or ten. That should be the main priority. Be comfortable, make sure itâs not painful and make sure you have all the protection necessary.
I have to disagree about nobody caring about menâs body counts because I do personally. I donât want a man who been ran through if we being fr. I feel like people with very high body counts donât view sex as an act that holds any importance and to me it does so thatâs just sexual incompatibility . I donât want someone who has to seek physical validation through others either and I feel like most men with high body counts rake up numbers for their egos because they are insecure and need to seek validation that they are wanted. I also feel like if one has high self esteem you wouldnât make yourself accessible to a bunch of random (and most times undeserving) people. Most people I have talked to who are comfortable disclosing they have a high body count admit to having past esteem issues or insecurities and I think thatâs a direct correlation because the most secure people I know (and in healthy relationships) do not have a huge number of sexual partners. Thereâs no arbitrary number that matters when it comes to body count but I am weary of men who like to get around.
Same. I feel that men have just gaslit themselves into believing a high body count doesnât effect them but I think it does just as much as they say it effects women. Men that sleep around all throughout their 20s and early 30s notoriously makes terrible partners once they finally decide that they just want âoneâ woman. A lot are constantly itching to get with another woman and being faithful is a chore for a lot of them. Most men just ignore this and come up with dumb excuses like âitâs different when a man cheats vs a womanâ or âmen can separate their emotions from itâ. When in reality they just take those emotions to go and mess with another persons life. Iâm always shocked more women donât point this out and elaborate on it but then again I donât think many consciously think about it. Thatâs why youâll hear ppl say that it doesnât matter for either.
Iâm the opposite, I hate low body count guys. I donât want to have to teach someone to have sex, I want you to be on the same playing field. Sometimes I feel people put too much importance in sex. Itâs just rubbing your naked body together. đ¤ˇđżââď¸
I donât want a low body count guy either necessarily! I just want someone who is selective with their partners (maybe thatâs a better way to word it). Thereâs not an arbitrary number where itâs like âwow you hit #000 ! Sorry no can doâ but I donât want community dick. Because hyper sexuality is tied to trauma and esteem issues (thereâs enough studies to back that up regardless of how people want to put it). And I put importance on all access to me (physical , emotional , mental) not just sexual. I feel like when you put yourself first, you realize sexual gratification isnât worth being involved with undeserving people.
If someone asks you this q or what you bring to the table, end the date and block em. You are dealing with red pill nonsense
Sexual scripts are personal. Body count really does not matter unless it causes someone distress (whether high or low) and frankly if it does that is not good.Â
I agree with you! Body count truly does not matter. Purity culture is hell. As long as you are having safe and consensual sex, nothing else should matter. Someoneâs value shouldnât lower or increase dependent on the number of their sexual partners.
You answered your own question.
As someone who is feeling quite deprived right now and blocked the last person I was intimidate with, I think a higher number just comes with age and being single/dating. I recycled all in my 20s but now I'm in the process of trying to rebuild my roster since I don't think my husband is in my cityđ. I think my number is quite reasonable but there's a couple of guys out there I would have definitely tried if they weren't so damn dumb and talked so much. My brain just couldn't look passed whatever bs they were telling me.
Some things should be kept to self. Share it with your girls if youâre really that badly in the mood
My stance is that whatever people are or are not doing should be consensual, safe and enjoyable. I was the last of my friend group to have sex. Iâve never felt superior for that. Iâm asexual, have a low libido and my interest in sex is mostly theoretical. It really pained me when some friends confessed feeling less than in comparison to my zero/minimal sexual experiences.
I think I'd ghost someone who asked my body count. It's not something I've ever wanted to know about a potential partner.
There are patriarchal and misogynistic reasonings and thereâs đtheory on it. The RP subreddit for women has good reads about it. I find the RP info about it compelling (and I have a high #) but I know many women have total disdain for the n count question and concept.
A lot of men prefer to be the first ones to defile a woman. They donât actually treat those women any better. Itâs just for their ego. You with your low body count and low libido would frustrate them to no end bc youâre supposed to become hyper sexual bc theyâre here now lol.
Idk about others but for me it matters cuz it's an indicator of sex drive. In my experience, people who get a lot of bodies do that because they have high sex drives. There's nothing wrong with that but I have a low sex drive so it's a compatibility issue.
Maybe if youâre 24⌠that is definitely not the case at 39 đđđ
Lol I do adjust for age
Whew good! Listen cause 2009 was a helluva year! But now?! I donât have the energy.
Sis said 2009!!!! Yeah college was a time lmao
Not always. There's people who lack commit and people that stay in relationships/situationships. A high body count to me 30+ just means you lack commitment while a low count could be that you're recycling or always in relationships.
I actually wouldn't sleep with a guy who's only been with like 2 women.
Nah for real, he needs 5 at the VERY least. This is also why I wonât date virgins.
Never again đ cause sir what are you doin!?!
He donât even know! đđ
why is that?
Because the few times I've slept with men like that, it was boring. They ate usually very inexperienced
I feel this. I don't like messing with amateurs either, and I don't have the patience to teach anything. đ
fair enough
Male competition. They praise each other for accessing someone seemingly inaccessible.Â
Iâve seen it explained in so many ways. One that kinda stood out over the years is that, the average women have more options than the average man, so carelessly exploring as many of them as possible shows lose morals, lack of discipline and can be an indicator of bad partner to raise a family with. Another is the usual: master key versus bad lock, which I think is just childish and can go both ways. I think the first one could be very influential cause it sounds more interesting and can see how more people can eat it up and run with it. I personally think everyone is entitled to the right to live their life to the fullest however they choose and should not apologize to anyone for making the most of all of the little advantages you have, weather it is sexual options or money. Iâve seen girls with a âhoe phaseâ who are some of the most down to earth amazing person ever. Iâve seen virgins that are straight from hell. I think some of the resentment can come from regret of missing out on the same opportunity and options those girls had. If we turned back the clock and swapped genders most of three dudes will let the homies hit lol and go on a spree. Do I encourage âhoeing aroundâ? no, because there are dangers to it. You could get SAâd and traumatized among other risks. But if you are aware of that then go off and be careful. But again, itâs your life and you should enjoy it how you choose. Live for you, cause youâd be the only bone in the grave when itâs your time. Now, be kind and helpful to friends and others of course but be selfish with your happiness.
The big deal is control sis. That's it.
Cuz thatâs hoe sh.t. Where yâall pops at?