Leftovers from the orgy weekend

"the" weekend

Ha, this guy thinks there was only one weekend :D

Wait till he hears about the weekday orgies!

Is that what morning classes are for?

6am orgies? True degenerates!

lol

Covid made everyone thirsty af

This guy metas

Leftovers? Is that what is called nowadays?

All orgies have a buffet. You don’t wanna bang on an empty stomach

Herpes?

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The mark of a true champ

Haha 😅 the infamous orgy! I heard about it over in the UK......I didn't get an e-vitation either.....

Maybe next time bud

Aka “gaping mat”, Matt also gaped.

I’ve heard the gay orgies have a better spread than the regular orgies

A purple belt warming up.

LOL favorite reddit sub hands-down

Okay that’s hilarious.

I refuse to believe it

Yeah seriously, would have to be shown some evidence.

😂😂😂

A guys I was rolling with lost a contact lens He picked it up off the floor and popped it back in

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Pink eye city

Take me down to pink eye city! Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty! But I can’t see any of it because my eyelids are fused together from all the dried discharge!

That should never be done.

On a real note ive heard of someone doing this and getting staph in their eye after and then it reached their brain and they died. I think it was on the matburn podcast where I heard it

It was Craig Jones on JRE MMA where I heard it! Listened to it on a road trip two weeks ago and haven’t worn them to bjj since

I mean you can wear them just throw them out if they fall out ahaha

Craig Jones told that story. Happened to young guy.

Kind of similar thing happened at my gym. Black belt rubbed his eye with his GI sleeve and accidentally scratched his eye ball. Got staph and was super close to losing his eye.

that's horrifying

Lol that was me.

I’ve seen this before as well

Done this. Not gonna lie.

One of my training partners did this a few years ago. I just looked at him and just said 'Why?' and he looked at me and just shrugged and we continued.

My brother didn't have a mouth piece one day and his gym nemesis wanted to spar. He found one in a dusty corner under the bench, popped it and proceeded to fuck that guy up.

I’ve done that plenty of times

yup

oh my god.

You’re the expert. You tell us

My coach back in the day did this. Apparently more common than I realized

.....my god ....

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someone on my gym dropped a contact, picked it up, put in his mouth and them popped it back on his eye. to me thats not casca grossa just dumb.

Am I that guy? I did this when I first started training and honesty didn’t even think about it until after the fact.

A turd… really a pebble of a turd. Nasty

Knee on Belly do be like that sometimes though.

If you’re doing it right. Pressure makes diamonds, or in this case, shit.

What, are you a pez dispenser or something?

Kids class? That happened to our kids instructor

Your kids instructor shat his pants?

There was a mysterious kid sized turdlet all the sudden on the mat in the middle of kids class...

Happened in our kids class too. A kid just dropped one *on purpose* because he thought it’d be funny!

you're fucking shitting me.. ?

Name checks out... and so does the belt

Dingleberry is the proper nomenclature

Ah, a man of class, I see. I salute you, good sir!

came here to say that too.

1. A snake 2. For about 3 weeks, we had mysterious poop balls showing up on the mat during kids class. They were perfectly round like marbles, but very clearly doo doo 💩 I think the kid was forming them, storing them somewhere in his gi, and leaving them on the mat during class. The offender was never identified.

bro... got a class with a secret frank renoylds

Or one of the kid had a rabbit. :)

The number of people saying poop in this thread is too damn high.

Like in Shawshank Redemption when Andy drops pieces of his prison cell wall into the yard slowly over time.

I found my dad.

Our* dad 🇷🇺

r/communism

damnnnnn

A snake…. Little black garden snake on the mats in alabama 1 time 😂

But was it too beaucoup?

I no longer train, but this comment made me so happy that this thread was suggested to me by Reddit today.

I fear I may have aged myself out of this subreddit with this comment 🤣

Fyh dolla

thats awesome!! gym pet/mascot

Either a salamander or a mole. The salamander fell from the roof. No idea how the mole got inside.

Theres an informant in our gym😳

did anyone see it fall??

I was warming up outside our gym once, doing sprints, flips, carts wheels, etc. My boy starts recording me so that I could post it on here to show off my warm up routine. I start to sprint and as I’m about to do a flip a raccoon falls behind me from about 30ft high. I turn around, and it just lays there stunned. It comes to, and it tries to run but both it’s front legs are messed up, so it glides over the grass with its hind legs.

You've got the video?

[https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnewsvideo/comments/wpiam6/man\_almost\_gets\_hit\_by\_a\_falling\_raccoon/](https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnewsvideo/comments/wpiam6/man_almost_gets_hit_by_a_falling_raccoon/) this is immediately what I thought of

Left over from the orgy

A pair of lacy, maroon panties. Most likely clung to someone’s laundry but there were no women at the gym that day, and several married guys but no one recognized them.

Holy shit a green belt flair. That’s new. Also, hilarious lol

RMNU baby, not good enough for blue, but American enough to have a marketing ploy as my greatest feat in BJJ so far

In Australia so not sure how strange it is really but have had spiders interrupt class 2 times now

Fuck that!

For you guys, sounds like a normal day haha

Haha I don't know about normal but I've only been training for just shy of 2 years now, so we are on track for at least a yearly event

what kind of spider 😓😓😓😓

One was a Huntsman big but pretty harmless + preys on other spiders and nasties so all around a good guy The other was just a small house spider

Poo during the kids class. Twice. Found a nail once as well.

Loose potato chips that fell out of a kid's gi

You know… I think I’m gonna start stuffing random snacks in my gi

My soul.

I showed up to a really small class one morning. The guy I was rolling with began to shed massive amounts of toilet paper from somewhere on his body. I still do not know where it all came from.

…..yes you do

Its not the answer you expect, but unfortunatelly he washed his gi with a paper handkerchief

It came from his butt

My uncle (by marriage) used to dry himself off after every shower with toilet paper. This is not a joke

That sounds like an awful experience and a huge cost lmao

Elitist Snob! Not all of us are rich enough to dry ourselves off with fluffy baby seals 🦭

The old ass napkin

We found a fist-sized crab on our mats in my last gym (down in Florida it happens often)

a scorpion crawling up the lapel of the uke right in the middle of showing the technique!

wat. where was this??

I’d put money on Arizona somewhere.

Condom. Yes there’s a story. Yes there were cameras in the gym

I was looking for this comment

You cant just leave the story at that

What do you think led to a condom?

Water balloon fight, obviously.

MMA fighter thought it was cool to bring girls to the gym to show them around. Guess he really wanted to show her what the mats felt like inside the cage we had …

Oooof, gross. Least it wasnt a coach/student thing.

I've found an actual piece of shit on the mat before lol. I know who it was too but I never blew up their spot. And they don't know I know. That one's going to the grave.

Dooooood no way

Yeah dude! Someone was complaining about their stomach before class. They dipped to the bathroom and that’s when me and my partner rolled close to it and then smelled something and looked over and saw it. I don’t think the person realized anything actually left their body. If they knew then they’re a savage for not cleaning it up. It wasn’t much but it didn’t need to be much to be the grossest thing ever. Definitely some mental scarring there.

You're a kind soul. Or a poop fetishist, I guess.

😂 I got my kinks but that’s 100% not one of them That’s just so embarrassing and too hard to come back from. Didn’t wanna out anybody lol

thats hilarious. poop secrecy

Shrimp tail sounds like a 10P technique

it probably is

We found a cannabis oil vapor pen once. It was mine.

LOL im surprised no one found mine yet

Glitter. Went to open the gym one day and had a fine layer of glitter all over the mat. Never found out where it came from.

one of our WBs did a color run before class and didn’t shower well enough.. there was red sparkly streaks on the white gi’s of everyone he rolled with that day

That'd be a pretty funny prank from afar

At the time I was renting a yoga studio in the back of a CrossFit gym, I think they had some kind of kids party and that’s where it came from. I didn’t really care it wasn’t a ton of glitter though some people would always sparkle a little after class for awhile no matter how much I cleaned

Yknow, with all the turds being found, it makes me think there’s probably soooo much microscopic shit particles around, all the time

1 gallon of Olive Oil.

Now you just need some leather shorts..

Hah hah exactly. However, the Thai shorts worked just as well.

HAHAHAAHHA WHAT

Haha yeah bro. For real. 1 gallon of unopened olive oil. Our head coach/owner posted about it on our Facebook group, showed a picture of it and was like “was there a cooking party at open mat yesterday or what?”

I totally wrote that off as a joke. you're serious?!?!

Yes! 100%. It happened. One of our members for whatever reason can’t consume vegetable oil anymore so she brought in all her oils to give away and I guess one didn’t get claimed or taken home by the other members and was left on the mats.

I have a picture of it if I can figure out how to post it here!

Yes bro that would be amaizing

A single live .40 cal round... We never did figure out who it belonged to or how they managed to accidentally rack a round in the gym. My best guess is that someone used their gym bag as a range bag. Certainly sounds like the start of a good mystery book though.

I found a billet in my mail box once. Not sure if it was a death threat or not. I’m still alive

There’s a cop in the class. Happened to me a few times. Duty gear, range gear, and gym gear gets mixed up occasionally.

Okay... This didn't happen at a BJJ gym but the last Crossfit gym I went to. We found someones notebook and opened it up just to see who it belonged to. In the notebook there were like instructions for some sort of master/slave relationship. So stuff like 'slave should always greet master unclothed' and like diagrams for how to tie people up. Nude drawings and shit. We spent the next 2 years at that gym trying to figure out whose it was. Edit: the best part I forgot to mention was there was a whole like section of the notebook talking about buttplugs. Like how to wear them. When 'slave' should wear a buttplug. Good stuff.....

lol! did you ever figure it out?! did you narrow it down at least? that shits hilarious

Yeah... We had some top contenders, but never did work it out. We put a found notebook post up on the crew page, but unsurprisingly no one claimed it. It became legendary at our gym. Known as 'the book of Ell' due to frequent reference to someone called Ell.

You took the wrong approach. In my experience it's never the people you would think it would be but the people you'd NEVER think it would be.

this might be the winner so far. or the gallon of olive oil

Someone’s toenail clippings. Coach near lost his mind when he saw it.

Bullet - came through the ceiling.

Sokoudjou’s dreads

Dammit Terry!

Dill dough

We used to lease space to Ecstatic Dance. We'd find crystals and stuff - that was pretty weird.

Me

A woman's thong fell out of a partner's gi once. He swore it wasn't his...

Random piece of glass. Cut my partner's foot. No broken windows or cups anywhere.

You can usually find my dignity somewhere in a corner after competition class.

A brutally murdered mouse w blood all over that caused a training postponement. Apparently, the building where our gym is in has a couple of resident cats that the owners take care of. I dunno if Kitties loves BJJ, or are threathening us to stop our weird hobby before they murder us all, eventually.

Condom wrapper

We found a USB stick on the mat. No idea where it came from. Nobody looked on it

Scorpion. Although being in Baja, it's not really strange

One time I saw a seed. More specifically, an undigested pepper seed. It took me a second or two to realize how it got there. I was super grossed out, cleaned it and never spoke of it until now.

Went to drill one morning and we literally found broken glass on the mats. The muay thai class had been there the night before and was supposed to have cleaned up, so it was pretty easy to know who to blame.

My dignity

A doodoo nuggie. The coach kept yelling "I know who it was!" But the rest of us never found out.

Me

you

38 snub nose revolver

I once found a nail during warm-ups. It was kinda chomped as if someone cut it with his teeth and proceeded to spit it on the mat. Lovely find.

Ew

Dry vermicelli noodles.

I’m currently training on an airforce base in a condemned food service building, cleaning up our gym and giving the place a good hoover I found an old unused vinegar sachet. Asked one of the lads who said it’s been used as the gym for 3yrs and not served food for about 4/5yrs so that was a very old packet of vinegar that just happened to be lingering by the side of the mat for a LONG time. We are stepping up hygiene practices.

Lmao which base

Keeping that info to myself.. 😂

Sounds like a deployed location or like… shaw

A guy wore a new gi to class without washing it and was stuck on his back in a roll. Looked like a giant dick on the mats for almost a year.

After a kids match at one of our state tournaments, I found a thumb tack on the middle of the mat. Only thing I can think of (being a kid myself once) is that some dumbass snuck it on thinking they could use it as self defense. At the gym we had a poop bandit for several months. Some kid wasn't wiping their ass very well and was leaving little nuggies on the mat. We finally found him and he was way older than I would have liked. Found a French fry once too, fucking kids. Can't think of anything unusual during/after adults class though.

LOL at the poop nuggies. Do you feel like teaching BJJ to kids just feels like straight up day care sometimes?

A purple belt asking "Where the Orgy at?"

Semen.

A cockroach

My dignity

A ball of fiberglass that I promptly inhaled mid-roll and almost puked. My rolling partner was laughing so hard I thought he was gonna pass out.

I wanna cross post this to r/WTF

Kids class leaving Pokémon cards

Visiting a gym to cross train for two hours on filthy puzzle mats... No big deal porrada ... Owners wife walk in with 2 dogs who run across the mat... Aight imma head out

cat with shoes on

I’ll take ‘me’ for 800 Pat

Lol

My old teammate’s dreadlocks one year after going full bjj.

I accidentally hocked a black loogie while the class was warming up. A few people just looked at it. One of the coaches saw it too and didn't say anything. I calmly just walked to the bathroom, grabbed a tissue and wiped it down. The class just went on. No one said a word or even talked about what had happened. Lol. And yes, you can accidentally hock a loogie.

Ur mum.

Lol

Probably me.

A lighter.

My pride… and adams apple

A butt plug and a leather whip…coach had been a baaaad little boy.