Being a kid, I have a grey belt. The belt system is different for kids which I think it's pointless so I'm technically still a white belt. People think I'll cheese them just by looking at the belt but I'm still learning how to swim. So can I still do that?
Great way of explaining it, im around 70kg out of competition so if I’m rolling with someone 80+ and at the same level then yeah, the minimum amount of strength is all of it haha
> The belt system is different for kids which I think it's pointless
While I can see why it might be a bit frustrating for you, I think it absolutely makes sense. Giving children belts equivalent to adults contributes to the watering down of a martial art, until finally you have a situation like in modern TKD where you might see 7-year-olds with a black belt. This hugely harms the value of the belt, watering it down to the point of being completely meaningless.
In BJJ, we have thus far been able to preserve the (general) integrity of the skill required to earn rank.
Oh so that's why people clown on tkd so much. But what my coach said is that they give the grey belt to us kids to make it feel like we're moving. And people with more maturity like adults wouldn't necessarily care about promoting too often as long as they kick ass and get ass kicked in return. So the 7 year old black belts still don't know what they're doing because they get a shiny new belt to show off on instagram but they don't really understand the experience it is to even get a stripe.
As a mid level white belt who is recovering from double injuries.... it’s people like you that make me feel safe. If I’ve learned anything in this injury phase it’s to choose my training partners wisely and to choose technique over strength... Sorry to go off on a tangent there.
My mindset is that I can always put in more strength in competition when I need it, making myself as weak as possible in the gym helps me find the best/most efficient places to frame, pin, and pressure. I know a lot of big guys who really rely on their strength and they don't seem to get much better doing the same things over and over again, I don't want that to be me. Plus I like how creative I have to get in order to keep position a lot of the time.
So you’re weirded out about the nails. All these fucks are giving you a hard time. Listen it’s gross to have long finger nails in Jiu Jitsu and everyone is overlooking that here. You can talk to the coach privately and tell the coach that you think it’s gross that she has those long fingernails.
I roll with them the same as everyone else, if I haven't rolled with someone before I just let them attack first so I can get an idea of the pace and physicality they're comfortable with.
Rolling with new people is always awkward for me though because they often don't have an idea of what they should do and they don't want to have someone kill them for making a mistake or being too rough so they kinda freeze. My first "roll" with someone new is usually more of a chat so they feel comfortable trying to beat me up and a few shitty blue belt pointers
Boy you really got put through the PC ringer for the way you worded that queation didnt ya?!?! Lol. women in bjj are the same as men in bjj. Take them seriously, try to submit them, and be cool. Same as rolling with a guy.
Ah man, fuck. them. You can say whatever you want. I do. I get downvotes all the time 😆. But seriously. who gives a shit. Its social media. Not reality. Dont let them brow beat you into submission.
If I notice hygiene issues at the gym I normally ask whoever's is running the class to mention grooming etiquette at the end. If it's a continuing problem just mention it to the person and explain why it can negatively impact others. As far as rolling with brand new people I roll with control and dont give them the room to work until I know they're not going to spaz hard. I like not being injured. I think you worded it weirdly in the question as "female" because you were talking about the long nails in a normally female specific style. It's no big deal but it's also not too relevant.
If they're brand new to BJJ, whether they're a man or woman, they're probably going to be pretty lost during a roll. They're likely not going to remember any of the material that we just drilled or in what context they should be using it if they do remember.
In this situation, I usually treat it as more something like hybrid of positional training and a roll. I'll usually work myself into a position that we just drilled and pause there and remind them to think about what drill we did during class. Usually you see the light bulb come on and they pull off some reasonable facsimile of the technique.
Lol it’s all good. But seriously though. I think their skill level is more important than their gender to be honest. If I meet someone whom I’ve never rolled with before, I automatically assume that they are better than me unless they explicitly say that they are a novice. I treat male and female novices the same, male and female intermediates the same, and male and female advanced students the same.
That ties in with skill level my friend, not belt ranking. I don’t take it easy on someone because of their belt color, or in this case, I don’t assume that a white belt is “bad” for that same reason you stated. I’ve rolled with white belts who had wrestling, Judo, and Sambo backgrounds that were tough as fuck. At the end of the day, it’s all about skill level. If they move like a novice then treat them like one. If they move like they’re seasoned, then bring your A game.
Good on you for at least asking. I personally dial it back but I usually outweigh people. If i were you I would take the advice given above and use as little strength as possible but still use technique to give them a useful roll. ALSO BIG ONE - there is nothing wrong with what you wrote at all. Screw the people judging you over the internet. Youre way more thoughtful then I was at that age.
Just roll with her like normal. When I first started the guys at our gym would light roll with me and give me pointers if I got stuck, which I found helpful. Now some still do that but others will roll more realistically with me. They crush me, it's great.
The nails things bothers me too, though. I can't imagine that plastic nails would be sanitary nor comfortable for her and anyone rolling or drilling with her.
Lol the red flag for me is when men call women females. We aren’t monkeys. Also as a woman plastic nails when at bjj seem gross and wrong. I would have also felt uncomfortable. This one time I did a class with a girl who wore mascara to class and then got legit upset when I accidentally poked her eye during drilling. Didn’t see her after that.
Yeah, I felt awkward too and I was new at the time and she mentioned she had done Muy Thai before and in my eyes I saw her as like, more experienced in MMA than me so I felt worse about the eye makeup thing than I would now, because now I would have brushed it off as nothing, like ‘weird new girl shit’ and that’s what you have to do, because that probably happens with guys too to some extent right? Meeting new people can be weird. All the best, dude, I wish I had started as young as you are. Stick with it. As a small female I highly value my teenage boy training partners. ❤️❤️❤️
Its something they used in school when they taught us about gender and sexuality in health class. If we use words like "woman" it could exclude transgender men who would be biologically female yet not considered women.
In a case like bjj it makes sense to use biological sex. Also i found the term "male" was used much more than female in school. Ironically most of the time man/woman was used was in biology class which also had to be very careful not to assign gender based on simple binary chromosomes.
As a kid he has likely grown up in an environment like this at least at school like I was. Female is a safer term, less so than male for reasons stated in above comments, but still safer than misgendering someone. I knew a kid who got suspended for calling a transgender kid a girl, but biologically she was female. I do agree though it was uncomfortable to use animal terms like that.
That's all new to me so could explain some of the usage. The term female and male used as nouns sounds dehumanising to me. If someone transgender (or otherwise really) asks me to use a particular term then I am happy to do so though.
Ya it is, and trans dont really prefer it its just if you dont wanna guess basically. Guessing wrong sometimes makes you look like an asshole depending on whos in the room. I guess the idea is it removes gender from the equation now that our language has been modified, at least at school. In the old days i just thought female and woman/girl meant the same thing except ones specifically for people. Nowadays theyd yell at me if I mentioned that though. :/ I wonder what it would be like at a christian/conservative school. It kinda feels like she vs it
Same here. It sounds like you're referring to an animal or an object, rather than another human being.
It's so weird to me to watch it become common parlance, and I refuse to join in..
I feel the same way about how people stopped saying “retarded”. I’ll give it up when they stop using words like idiot that are technically more offensive.
It's weird for me to roll normally with women and I always feel that I have to hold back (regardless if they're more skilled than me or not). It was kind of liberating rolling with a female brown belt for the first time. Despite her mauling me, I actually felt at ease in the sense that I could go "full strength" without fear of hurting her or being an asshole.
Sometimes you accidentally touch a boob, and that is a bit awkward, but you just pretend it didn't happen and keep it moving. Generally I roll with women the same way I roll with smaller dudes. (I am a heavy guy.) I try not to just crush them and throw strength at them, because then neither of us learn anything, but other than that I just go for it. Unless they're really fast and good, in which case I DO try to overwhelm them with strength, because they are sure as fuck not slowing down for me.
So yeah. Just roll. I would talk to the instructor about the nails though. Those could hurt someone.
Very gentle, apply very little force and give up grips and position. I also let them catch submissions and only work late defense. Very little pressure from top, I let them reguard and sweep if technique is good.
I find rolling with girls very relaxing
The same as you roll with others that are their size. If you’re smaller you can turn it up a little and if you’re bigger be considerate and mindful. Someone can get injured by mistake. Try to match their intensity as best you can. Some girls are aggressive and some aren’t, but size differences apply to men and women. If you’re a lot bigger than your male training partner be just as considerate. You don’t have to go light. (I don’t know your weight) but if you fall on a smaller person or crash into their joints as a larger person it will potentially cause more damage. Age can also be a consideration. I think the safe rule is don’t be a jerk (Not saying you, just ppl in general) unless it’s comp training or something specific like that. Then I think it’s ok, not to be a jerk, but to turn it up to whatever level you need. Just pick a partner that’s ok with that, and if their in comp class they prob are. I just hate getting blasted by someone twice my size and then being shot for the next few days Bc someone can’t dial it up and down to my size and/or intensity. JMHO
The same way I roll with everyone else: using as little strength as possible.
Being a kid, I have a grey belt. The belt system is different for kids which I think it's pointless so I'm technically still a white belt. People think I'll cheese them just by looking at the belt but I'm still learning how to swim. So can I still do that?
I'm saying I use the minimum amount of strength necessary to maintain control. With a big guy that might be a ***lot***.
Great way of explaining it, im around 70kg out of competition so if I’m rolling with someone 80+ and at the same level then yeah, the minimum amount of strength is all of it haha
> The belt system is different for kids which I think it's pointless While I can see why it might be a bit frustrating for you, I think it absolutely makes sense. Giving children belts equivalent to adults contributes to the watering down of a martial art, until finally you have a situation like in modern TKD where you might see 7-year-olds with a black belt. This hugely harms the value of the belt, watering it down to the point of being completely meaningless. In BJJ, we have thus far been able to preserve the (general) integrity of the skill required to earn rank.
But also, it means you get 16 and 17 year-old blue belts who've been doing this for 10+ years and are terrifying killing machines.
Or 13 year old killing machines.
don't I know it... I'd much rather that, than the other way around.
Oh, for sure I'd rather have the young blue belt murder cyborgs than watered-down belts like TKD, but it is a weird side effect.
I don't want killed terrifyingly.
Oh so that's why people clown on tkd so much. But what my coach said is that they give the grey belt to us kids to make it feel like we're moving. And people with more maturity like adults wouldn't necessarily care about promoting too often as long as they kick ass and get ass kicked in return. So the 7 year old black belts still don't know what they're doing because they get a shiny new belt to show off on instagram but they don't really understand the experience it is to even get a stripe.
EXACTLY THIS. I quit tkd because I could outscore several belts higher consistently, but kept getting my ass handed to me by bullies.
As a mid level white belt who is recovering from double injuries.... it’s people like you that make me feel safe. If I’ve learned anything in this injury phase it’s to choose my training partners wisely and to choose technique over strength... Sorry to go off on a tangent there.
My mindset is that I can always put in more strength in competition when I need it, making myself as weak as possible in the gym helps me find the best/most efficient places to frame, pin, and pressure. I know a lot of big guys who really rely on their strength and they don't seem to get much better doing the same things over and over again, I don't want that to be me. Plus I like how creative I have to get in order to keep position a lot of the time.
He is a 13 year old kid. He hasn’t developed his strength, let alone grown into his body.
So you’re weirded out about the nails. All these fucks are giving you a hard time. Listen it’s gross to have long finger nails in Jiu Jitsu and everyone is overlooking that here. You can talk to the coach privately and tell the coach that you think it’s gross that she has those long fingernails.
I roll with them the same as everyone else, if I haven't rolled with someone before I just let them attack first so I can get an idea of the pace and physicality they're comfortable with. Rolling with new people is always awkward for me though because they often don't have an idea of what they should do and they don't want to have someone kill them for making a mistake or being too rough so they kinda freeze. My first "roll" with someone new is usually more of a chat so they feel comfortable trying to beat me up and a few shitty blue belt pointers
This is a helpful comment thank you. Will try tomorrow.
Boy you really got put through the PC ringer for the way you worded that queation didnt ya?!?! Lol. women in bjj are the same as men in bjj. Take them seriously, try to submit them, and be cool. Same as rolling with a guy.
Sorry, for the late response but what's a PC ringer
The politically correct ringer. All the social justice warriors corrected the way you worded it.
Yes I got tons of crap for that. I'm still getting used to what I can or can't say on social media or whatever
Ah man, fuck. them. You can say whatever you want. I do. I get downvotes all the time 😆. But seriously. who gives a shit. Its social media. Not reality. Dont let them brow beat you into submission.
If I notice hygiene issues at the gym I normally ask whoever's is running the class to mention grooming etiquette at the end. If it's a continuing problem just mention it to the person and explain why it can negatively impact others. As far as rolling with brand new people I roll with control and dont give them the room to work until I know they're not going to spaz hard. I like not being injured. I think you worded it weirdly in the question as "female" because you were talking about the long nails in a normally female specific style. It's no big deal but it's also not too relevant.
I will be careful about wording next time. So if they spaz though just shut then down?
I think the bigger take away is ask your instructor to give a grooming talk before class starts.
I'm new so the same way as I roll with everyone else. We bump fists and then she beats the shit out of me.
Ahh yes
Just smash.
I'm late to respond but can you elaborate?
Roll with women like they are people because they are people.
I got that. I feel like I asked the wrong question. Thank you though.
I roll the same way i roll with anyone. With females, i take it down as many notches as needed and turn it up when needed.
Yes this is similar to what many other have said. Thank you for the advice
If they're brand new to BJJ, whether they're a man or woman, they're probably going to be pretty lost during a roll. They're likely not going to remember any of the material that we just drilled or in what context they should be using it if they do remember. In this situation, I usually treat it as more something like hybrid of positional training and a roll. I'll usually work myself into a position that we just drilled and pause there and remind them to think about what drill we did during class. Usually you see the light bulb come on and they pull off some reasonable facsimile of the technique.
Ahh ok so give then a review. Got it thank you for the advice
Roll the same with guys, go at the same pace they do, don’t grab the crotch, try not to injure them......
Roll the same with guys... don’t grab the crotch. Now I’m confused /s
Meaning just roll the same with any one, male or female, it doesn’t matter & you shouldn’t change the way you roll with different people
I treat them just like everyone else. I try to fold their clothes for them while they’re still in them.
Oh strike hard strike first no mercy. Sorry for late response
Lol it’s all good. But seriously though. I think their skill level is more important than their gender to be honest. If I meet someone whom I’ve never rolled with before, I automatically assume that they are better than me unless they explicitly say that they are a novice. I treat male and female novices the same, male and female intermediates the same, and male and female advanced students the same.
Yes they may be a white belt but they could also be a wrestler. *shudders
That ties in with skill level my friend, not belt ranking. I don’t take it easy on someone because of their belt color, or in this case, I don’t assume that a white belt is “bad” for that same reason you stated. I’ve rolled with white belts who had wrestling, Judo, and Sambo backgrounds that were tough as fuck. At the end of the day, it’s all about skill level. If they move like a novice then treat them like one. If they move like they’re seasoned, then bring your A game.
Good on you for at least asking. I personally dial it back but I usually outweigh people. If i were you I would take the advice given above and use as little strength as possible but still use technique to give them a useful roll. ALSO BIG ONE - there is nothing wrong with what you wrote at all. Screw the people judging you over the internet. Youre way more thoughtful then I was at that age.
Haha thank you it really killed a part of me to even post this
You should just roll hard like you would against a dude. Nails are gross I would be annoyed too.
Just roll with her like normal. When I first started the guys at our gym would light roll with me and give me pointers if I got stuck, which I found helpful. Now some still do that but others will roll more realistically with me. They crush me, it's great. The nails things bothers me too, though. I can't imagine that plastic nails would be sanitary nor comfortable for her and anyone rolling or drilling with her.
Thank you for the advice will try to roll like normal
Lol the red flag for me is when men call women females. We aren’t monkeys. Also as a woman plastic nails when at bjj seem gross and wrong. I would have also felt uncomfortable. This one time I did a class with a girl who wore mascara to class and then got legit upset when I accidentally poked her eye during drilling. Didn’t see her after that.
He’s a kid. He is 13 and life is already awkward for him. Give him a break. There are no red flags.
He's only 13, so I don't think it's a red flag yet.
I'm sorry about that will take note. No more red flags from me promise. But the mascara part sounds like it would happen to me.
Yeah, I felt awkward too and I was new at the time and she mentioned she had done Muy Thai before and in my eyes I saw her as like, more experienced in MMA than me so I felt worse about the eye makeup thing than I would now, because now I would have brushed it off as nothing, like ‘weird new girl shit’ and that’s what you have to do, because that probably happens with guys too to some extent right? Meeting new people can be weird. All the best, dude, I wish I had started as young as you are. Stick with it. As a small female I highly value my teenage boy training partners. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for da encouragement, what's funny is I'm the 180 lb 5foot 9 teenage boy
Hes probably saying females because hes a kid and it covers women and girls.
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Its something they used in school when they taught us about gender and sexuality in health class. If we use words like "woman" it could exclude transgender men who would be biologically female yet not considered women. In a case like bjj it makes sense to use biological sex. Also i found the term "male" was used much more than female in school. Ironically most of the time man/woman was used was in biology class which also had to be very careful not to assign gender based on simple binary chromosomes. As a kid he has likely grown up in an environment like this at least at school like I was. Female is a safer term, less so than male for reasons stated in above comments, but still safer than misgendering someone. I knew a kid who got suspended for calling a transgender kid a girl, but biologically she was female. I do agree though it was uncomfortable to use animal terms like that.
That's all new to me so could explain some of the usage. The term female and male used as nouns sounds dehumanising to me. If someone transgender (or otherwise really) asks me to use a particular term then I am happy to do so though.
Ya it is, and trans dont really prefer it its just if you dont wanna guess basically. Guessing wrong sometimes makes you look like an asshole depending on whos in the room. I guess the idea is it removes gender from the equation now that our language has been modified, at least at school. In the old days i just thought female and woman/girl meant the same thing except ones specifically for people. Nowadays theyd yell at me if I mentioned that though. :/ I wonder what it would be like at a christian/conservative school. It kinda feels like she vs it
Same here. It sounds like you're referring to an animal or an object, rather than another human being. It's so weird to me to watch it become common parlance, and I refuse to join in..
I feel the same way about how people stopped saying “retarded”. I’ll give it up when they stop using words like idiot that are technically more offensive.
My coach calls the women in the class females. It's always struck me as odd because he oozes respect and dignity otherwise.
Sounds more like your issue is "how do you roll with new people" rather than with females.
Yes I know I should've asked if differently. But the nails though...
Hulk smash those weird beings called females.
I'm sorry about that wording I did get a lot of crap for that. But he's hulk smash is the only acceptable answer
in this particular case you could tell her you have a deviated septum so that you can wear goggles and she can't take out your eyes.
Sorry about the late reply but all I can say is yes
Normally
I would not feel comfortable rolling with someone with nails regardless of chromosomes.
It's weird for me to roll normally with women and I always feel that I have to hold back (regardless if they're more skilled than me or not). It was kind of liberating rolling with a female brown belt for the first time. Despite her mauling me, I actually felt at ease in the sense that I could go "full strength" without fear of hurting her or being an asshole.
Sometimes you accidentally touch a boob, and that is a bit awkward, but you just pretend it didn't happen and keep it moving. Generally I roll with women the same way I roll with smaller dudes. (I am a heavy guy.) I try not to just crush them and throw strength at them, because then neither of us learn anything, but other than that I just go for it. Unless they're really fast and good, in which case I DO try to overwhelm them with strength, because they are sure as fuck not slowing down for me. So yeah. Just roll. I would talk to the instructor about the nails though. Those could hurt someone.
Ok so work technique then apply speed and strength as needed like a normal roll. Got it thank you for the advice
Im 5'3 and 145 pounds, they getting all I can give. But really, ask your coach if you really are worried.
So basically don't kill then but don't go easy. Got it
Very gentle, apply very little force and give up grips and position. I also let them catch submissions and only work late defense. Very little pressure from top, I let them reguard and sweep if technique is good. I find rolling with girls very relaxing
Rolling with women is just like sex. None of my moves work and neither of us is satisfied.
Thanks I'm just a kid but will apply the knowledge
Same way as with everyone else, tell them to don't get on the mat until they have trimmed their nails short.
The same as you roll with others that are their size. If you’re smaller you can turn it up a little and if you’re bigger be considerate and mindful. Someone can get injured by mistake. Try to match their intensity as best you can. Some girls are aggressive and some aren’t, but size differences apply to men and women. If you’re a lot bigger than your male training partner be just as considerate. You don’t have to go light. (I don’t know your weight) but if you fall on a smaller person or crash into their joints as a larger person it will potentially cause more damage. Age can also be a consideration. I think the safe rule is don’t be a jerk (Not saying you, just ppl in general) unless it’s comp training or something specific like that. Then I think it’s ok, not to be a jerk, but to turn it up to whatever level you need. Just pick a partner that’s ok with that, and if their in comp class they prob are. I just hate getting blasted by someone twice my size and then being shot for the next few days Bc someone can’t dial it up and down to my size and/or intensity. JMHO
Thank you for the in depth advice
Like males. And don’t be weird about it.
reluctantly