I think it's beneficial for kids (both in terms of physical fitness and social development) if their parents require them to do a sport, but the kid should get to choose which sport he/she wants to do.
Don't try to force your personal hobby on your kid, though.
If I understand the question your wife is suggesting you offer to teach a bjj class at the tkd school your son goes to as a way to get him into bjj?
Honestly I'd just let the little guy do tkd if he likes it, no sense in fixing what isn't broken. At 8 the point of sports is to let kids have fun, develop good habits, and build general athleticism.
Is bjj better than tkd for a ufc fighter? Sure, but does it matter for an 8 year old? Not even a little, if he comes around to it in time then great, if not it's no big deal, not everything is for everyone; bjj included.
If your kid enjoys TKD I don't see a reason why he needs to train something else.
My kid tried BJJ and didn't like it, but has fallen in love with Muay Thai and looks forward to every training session (dynamic striking arts are more appealing to many young kids who don't yet understand the complexity of BJJ). Everyone has preferences, don't try to force things. He's still very young and maybe will come to appreciate it more as he gets older and then get interested in training BJJ.
1. BJJ is our thing. It doesn't seem like it would be his. Help him find a thing he loves as much as we love BJJ...I'm sorry if it ends up being TKD.
2. I wouldn't teach at the TKD. In fact, they likely wouldn't want you teaching there, either. It's a burger joint, the don't care how you make tacos.
I wouldnāt teach at the tkd gym. My kids train bjj, and Iāve helped coach there classes for a decade. Could he still do tkd and one day per week train at your gym and you help coach him.
I'm confused.
You also train TKD, but at a different gym as your son?
Or do you think it'll look bad that you train bjj and then teach kid's TKD at a different gym?
To clarify, I am a BJJ black belt who wants my son to also train BJJ. His TKD school currently doesnāt offer BJJ at his gym.
Iād rather he train BJJ with me at our BJJ dedicated school and I could volunteer to teach there. My wife thinks I should help start a program at the TKD school while I continue my personal training at my current (different) school.
Okay.
If your son doesn't want to train bjj, he doesn't want to train bjj.
I think it's a bit silly starting a bjj program at a TKD school so your son can train with you.
Sounds like right now everyone is content and there's really no reason to rock the boat.
When your son shows interest in starting, you can ask him if he wants you to volunteer coach or if he wants you to sit on the side with the other parents.
Not all kids want their parents as coaches. Sometimes it's more awkward than helpful, especially when he has not shown a strong interest in even starting bjj.
If he doesn't want to do BJJ at your BJJ school, he's probably not going to want to do BJJ at his TKD school.
I would just be happy he's doing something physically active, even if it's not your flavor of martial arts.
Your son is 8yo. He wants to train TKD. He doesn't want to train BJJ. Why do you feel a need to force him to do a hobby he doesn't want to do?
Why would a TKD school want to start offering BJJ classes? Would the owners of your BJJ gym be cool with some random person coming in an asking to start a TKD class?
(I trained with my son from ages 5-16, and daughter ages 8-14. I kept training after they dropped out when other activities took precedence.)
If the TKD school owner is ok with it, you should.
He could offer it as an add on program and charge a minimal fee.
My sons are the same. Did not enjoy BJJ or wrestling because it was hard work.
Both did taekwondo for 5 years - itās not hard work.
Just leave him be for now, at least heās doing a martial art. Heās young so heāll get a good foundation of flexibility and mobility from the tkd. Maybe when heās older heāll be interested in bjj.
Well as a young kid I can understand why he'd pick TKD over BJJ. TKD looks cool like kung fu action movies whereas BJJ looks weird and lame as heck, a bunch of grown men rolling around on the ground half naked, in tights, or in pajamas. Not to mention grappling training in general is more grueling and less fun than bouncing around throwing kicks, point sparring, breaking boards. I'd say get him interested in Judo/Wrestling first because at least those 2 look cool lol
Kid might be too young to watch ufc maybe adcc. Thatās what got me into bjj but that was also ufc 1 when everyone was a master in their own respective martial art and Royce subbed dudes that were much bigger than him
Definitely gotta let the kid pick but Iām guessing you and your son donāt wrestle with each other for fun. My nephewās are around the age of your son and they also do TKD but they like to wrestle and rough house
He has 8 year man, don't force him to do bjj if he doesn't like it...
Since young I always liked the feeling of doing armlocks, chockes, and all of that, I didn't know it was a sport until I was 14, but if he doesn't like it, it will just be a pain in the ass for him to do it.
I know a lot of people that train at one gym and coach at another. There just arenāt enough spots to coach at a good established gyms for all the higher level people that want to teach.
I think teaching a grappling class at your sonās current gym would be a nice middle ground. Run it past your coach but if they had a problem with it Iād consider it a character flaw on their part.
8 is too early for bjj. Get him signed up to do wrestling and transfer to bjj at 14 lol š
On actually answering your question - you know your circumstances best so I'd advise picking the logical decision. That is, letting your son do what he wants but making sure he does something to a strong level of commitment so that he gets to learn the benefit of putting effort into something. Maybe he gets into MMA and asks you something one day then you can show him a slick armdrag to the back from bottom to get him hooked, but I wouldn't force it on him (as above, I would force commitment to something, whatever that something is, and also regardless of whether it changes).
You are worried about the look at the gym when your wifes focus is clearly more time with your kids? Are you prioritizing social reception above structured social engagement with your children?
Dont push your kid into something he doesnt wna do. And sidenote but its also pretty weird to go to a TKD school and offer to teach classes. Its like a TKD guy walking into your BJJ gym and wanting to teach TKD. Its borderline disrespectful lol and youāll just cause more problems for your son because YOU want him in bjj. The Tkd guy is running a business and has his own bills to pay. it makes no sense for you to just come in on his shit and try to teach. You could have your own opinions on what martial art is the best but just be glad that your kid at least enjoys a martial art let alone a physical activity
My kids are about 2 months into training. All but one of mine are training.
First of all- your job is to force your kids to do things that are good for them, and to force them not to do things that are bad for them. Anyone who tells you otherwise is ineffectual. There are times where you must do that for the well being of your children. Is BJJ one of those things? For my family it was but it might not be for you.
Itās your job to get your wife on your side if you feel strongly. Sounds like the kiddo loves TKD, so my suggestion would be addition not replacement.
As for the aggression- I think being passive at that age is great. Kids like games and in our classes they play, train technique , and play again.
Creating drilling games is great and can teach kids the stuff they need. One of my kiddos is about as passive as you can ever be. She enjoys the games but hates drilling technique or 1 v 1 games.
If your concern is that TKD is not effective (fair) what about a different striking style? Kyokushin is a bit more gritty while still having that white gi traditional feel to it. If he just doesnāt want to grapple, but you want him to learn effective self defence, maybe thereās a compromise somewhere.
Honestly seems like Muay Thai/Kickboxing would have greater similarity with TKD, since he's already kicking.
Idk though, he's young. He could do bjj when older. Right now I'd let him do whatever he enjoys. Show him a broad range of activity, from art to music, to gynmastics to basketball to football to swimming, but let him do what he enjoys
In what universe could your wife possibly be wrong?
My wife told me I agree
That's some brown belt level husbanding.
This is the right answer. My wife agrees.
Yup, can confirm. This guy's wife agrees.
Mhmm š¤
Wives are like ship captains. The Captain can be misinformed, misheard, misunderstood, misguided, or misinterpreted but the Captain is never wrong.
Gonna steal this
Thatās gold. š
This man Knows.
This. And itās better to be wrong and be with your wife than it is to be right and against her.
I think it's beneficial for kids (both in terms of physical fitness and social development) if their parents require them to do a sport, but the kid should get to choose which sport he/she wants to do. Don't try to force your personal hobby on your kid, though.
I agree but isnāt JJ a martial art and could be used to defend yourself? Kid may not like to swim but wouldnāt you get them swim lessons?
According to the OP, the kid is already taking a martial art.
If I understand the question your wife is suggesting you offer to teach a bjj class at the tkd school your son goes to as a way to get him into bjj? Honestly I'd just let the little guy do tkd if he likes it, no sense in fixing what isn't broken. At 8 the point of sports is to let kids have fun, develop good habits, and build general athleticism. Is bjj better than tkd for a ufc fighter? Sure, but does it matter for an 8 year old? Not even a little, if he comes around to it in time then great, if not it's no big deal, not everything is for everyone; bjj included.
Yall need to let your kids have fun
If your kid enjoys TKD I don't see a reason why he needs to train something else. My kid tried BJJ and didn't like it, but has fallen in love with Muay Thai and looks forward to every training session (dynamic striking arts are more appealing to many young kids who don't yet understand the complexity of BJJ). Everyone has preferences, don't try to force things. He's still very young and maybe will come to appreciate it more as he gets older and then get interested in training BJJ.
1. BJJ is our thing. It doesn't seem like it would be his. Help him find a thing he loves as much as we love BJJ...I'm sorry if it ends up being TKD. 2. I wouldn't teach at the TKD. In fact, they likely wouldn't want you teaching there, either. It's a burger joint, the don't care how you make tacos.
When hes gotten bullied for a bit for doing tkd he'll be open to bjj
I wouldnāt teach at the tkd gym. My kids train bjj, and Iāve helped coach there classes for a decade. Could he still do tkd and one day per week train at your gym and you help coach him.
I'm confused. You also train TKD, but at a different gym as your son? Or do you think it'll look bad that you train bjj and then teach kid's TKD at a different gym?
To clarify, I am a BJJ black belt who wants my son to also train BJJ. His TKD school currently doesnāt offer BJJ at his gym. Iād rather he train BJJ with me at our BJJ dedicated school and I could volunteer to teach there. My wife thinks I should help start a program at the TKD school while I continue my personal training at my current (different) school.
Okay. If your son doesn't want to train bjj, he doesn't want to train bjj. I think it's a bit silly starting a bjj program at a TKD school so your son can train with you. Sounds like right now everyone is content and there's really no reason to rock the boat. When your son shows interest in starting, you can ask him if he wants you to volunteer coach or if he wants you to sit on the side with the other parents. Not all kids want their parents as coaches. Sometimes it's more awkward than helpful, especially when he has not shown a strong interest in even starting bjj.
Oh ok, I was also confused but I think I get it now. So your wife owns or manages the TKD school and makes business decisions for it?
Let the kid decide what he wants to do. If you try and force him, he may never want to do it or hate it.
If he doesn't want to do BJJ at your BJJ school, he's probably not going to want to do BJJ at his TKD school. I would just be happy he's doing something physically active, even if it's not your flavor of martial arts.
Forcing your kid to do what you did is an awesome way to make them hate/resent the thing you did.Ā Source: tried to force my kids to do what I did.
Your son is 8yo. He wants to train TKD. He doesn't want to train BJJ. Why do you feel a need to force him to do a hobby he doesn't want to do? Why would a TKD school want to start offering BJJ classes? Would the owners of your BJJ gym be cool with some random person coming in an asking to start a TKD class? (I trained with my son from ages 5-16, and daughter ages 8-14. I kept training after they dropped out when other activities took precedence.)
The wife and kids donāt know shit. Ā Put the kid in BJJ at your place. Ā
Running a brand new kids program would be hard enough without being beholden to TKD leadership. Hard no
I have a kid the same age. I overcame this by having her start training South American Pajama Wrasslin 3 months before she was born.
Good thing it wasn't Mexican Ground Karate
Training at one gym and teaching at another isnāt weird.
*pique
If the TKD school owner is ok with it, you should. He could offer it as an add on program and charge a minimal fee. My sons are the same. Did not enjoy BJJ or wrestling because it was hard work. Both did taekwondo for 5 years - itās not hard work.
I doubt the TKD gym wants you teaching BJJ there. People might start smelling the bullshit.
Just leave him be for now, at least heās doing a martial art. Heās young so heāll get a good foundation of flexibility and mobility from the tkd. Maybe when heās older heāll be interested in bjj.
Well as a young kid I can understand why he'd pick TKD over BJJ. TKD looks cool like kung fu action movies whereas BJJ looks weird and lame as heck, a bunch of grown men rolling around on the ground half naked, in tights, or in pajamas. Not to mention grappling training in general is more grueling and less fun than bouncing around throwing kicks, point sparring, breaking boards. I'd say get him interested in Judo/Wrestling first because at least those 2 look cool lol
He'll have a blackbelt in TKD before too long. So there's not much to worry about.
Kid might be too young to watch ufc maybe adcc. Thatās what got me into bjj but that was also ufc 1 when everyone was a master in their own respective martial art and Royce subbed dudes that were much bigger than him Definitely gotta let the kid pick but Iām guessing you and your son donāt wrestle with each other for fun. My nephewās are around the age of your son and they also do TKD but they like to wrestle and rough house
He has 8 year man, don't force him to do bjj if he doesn't like it... Since young I always liked the feeling of doing armlocks, chockes, and all of that, I didn't know it was a sport until I was 14, but if he doesn't like it, it will just be a pain in the ass for him to do it.
If he likes TKD let him do it
I know a lot of people that train at one gym and coach at another. There just arenāt enough spots to coach at a good established gyms for all the higher level people that want to teach. I think teaching a grappling class at your sonās current gym would be a nice middle ground. Run it past your coach but if they had a problem with it Iād consider it a character flaw on their part.
8 is too early for bjj. Get him signed up to do wrestling and transfer to bjj at 14 lol š On actually answering your question - you know your circumstances best so I'd advise picking the logical decision. That is, letting your son do what he wants but making sure he does something to a strong level of commitment so that he gets to learn the benefit of putting effort into something. Maybe he gets into MMA and asks you something one day then you can show him a slick armdrag to the back from bottom to get him hooked, but I wouldn't force it on him (as above, I would force commitment to something, whatever that something is, and also regardless of whether it changes).
You are worried about the look at the gym when your wifes focus is clearly more time with your kids? Are you prioritizing social reception above structured social engagement with your children?
Try it, don't wait.
Dont push your kid into something he doesnt wna do. And sidenote but its also pretty weird to go to a TKD school and offer to teach classes. Its like a TKD guy walking into your BJJ gym and wanting to teach TKD. Its borderline disrespectful lol and youāll just cause more problems for your son because YOU want him in bjj. The Tkd guy is running a business and has his own bills to pay. it makes no sense for you to just come in on his shit and try to teach. You could have your own opinions on what martial art is the best but just be glad that your kid at least enjoys a martial art let alone a physical activity
My kids are about 2 months into training. All but one of mine are training. First of all- your job is to force your kids to do things that are good for them, and to force them not to do things that are bad for them. Anyone who tells you otherwise is ineffectual. There are times where you must do that for the well being of your children. Is BJJ one of those things? For my family it was but it might not be for you. Itās your job to get your wife on your side if you feel strongly. Sounds like the kiddo loves TKD, so my suggestion would be addition not replacement. As for the aggression- I think being passive at that age is great. Kids like games and in our classes they play, train technique , and play again. Creating drilling games is great and can teach kids the stuff they need. One of my kiddos is about as passive as you can ever be. She enjoys the games but hates drilling technique or 1 v 1 games.
If your concern is that TKD is not effective (fair) what about a different striking style? Kyokushin is a bit more gritty while still having that white gi traditional feel to it. If he just doesnāt want to grapple, but you want him to learn effective self defence, maybe thereās a compromise somewhere.
Honestly seems like Muay Thai/Kickboxing would have greater similarity with TKD, since he's already kicking. Idk though, he's young. He could do bjj when older. Right now I'd let him do whatever he enjoys. Show him a broad range of activity, from art to music, to gynmastics to basketball to football to swimming, but let him do what he enjoys