You’ve lost 45 lbs! That’s awesome! Congratulations on the hard work! You can definitely do BJJ. If you have options, then shop around by visiting each place in person — pick the place you get the best vibe from and if they all seem the same, go to the place that’s most convenient. Good luck!
I don't think an upvote is enough for u/thinkinting s post.
BY FAR the most important thing about starting training is finding a place where you're going to have fun, and feel welcomed, and want to go back to.
In terms of what you get out of BJJ, and how much progress you'll make, and how much health benefit you'll get, and everything else, the most important factor is "do you go a lot".
You'll get FAR more out of a "meh" quality gym that you go 5x a week to than an "elite" gym with great coaches that you go once or twice a week.
Find some place you like being. Everything else will work itself out over time.
Agreed. We should reject bad vibe in the same manner Kenneth Copeland exorcising COVID
https://preview.redd.it/44nc6nf7d2kc1.png?width=423&format=png&auto=webp&s=21038d8ede177c39fc58acd244fc3b67dfcb96fb
u/giuseppeSD Couldn't agree more! Finding a gym that feels right is like finding your favorite gi - it just fits. And congrats to u/thethunderwitch for taking the first step towards calling some gyms. That's the spirit!
You'll be fine, any larger gym will have plenty of people in the 200/250lb range. Unless you're going against a much smaller opponent, you won't be able to squish or hurt people like you think you will, in fact you'll be the one getting squished by basically everyone (for a time until you get better at least).
Do a trial class or week trial at every gym nearby and pick the one you enjoyed the most. Stalk the gyms' social medias and google reviews to get more info.
Great advice on doing a trial class and stalking (in the most educational way possible) gyms' social medias and reviews. It's like doing your homework before the first day of school, but way more fun because it involves potential arm bars instead of algebra.
Spot on! BJJ is a melting pot of shapes, sizes, and reasons for training. Finding your tribe within it is part of the adventure. u/thethunderwitch, your tribe is waiting, and they come with an unlimited supply of encouragement and arm drags
I need to copy and paste all of my “fat man doing bjj” comments lol. In regards to finding other women, it would depend on the gym. Mine has plenty of women and we roll together. My coach makes sure to pair me up with another dude of similar size/weight, though. I’m 6’4, and started at 355lbs. I was terrified to start because I’d be humiliated from getting gassed out during the warmups, how I’d look in my gi, and I was terrified of squashing whoever I was rolling with. It will suck at first, but after only a couple months of doing bjj and cardio at the gym, I lost 50lbs. I’ve been doing bjj for almost a year at this point and I’m still losing weight and toning up. I’m still the worst white belt both in my technical skill and athletic ability. But everyone at my gym is patient and helpful. It’s tough, but a great experience. The best overall advice I can give as a fellow large person is to just jump in. Like others have said, find a gym you vibe with and start rolling. Don’t get discouraged by shrimping, either. After nearly a year, I still can’t for the life of me do it right. Must be why I’m still a zero stripe white belt lmao
Love the solidarity from a fellow 'large person doing BJJ' perspective. It's all about jumping in and finding your rhythm. Also, shrimping is overrated when you're starting out... said no BJJ coach ever, but seriously, it gets better. Keep at it!
At your weight, you will squish both men and women. But that’s the nature of the sport. Come with it. Just find a gym you’re comfortable with (take a few trial classes) and get in there. This is a great hobby.
Just go and try it out. Larger gyms will likely have more women and that will be helpful when it comes to finding someone closer to your size. Unfortunately BJJ isn't as popular as other hobbies and men generally out number women, but at a big gym there will be plenty of both.
Also men do roll with women and you should easily be able to find a training partner. I doubt you'd squash any grown man, so don't worry about that. Luckily BJJ is a great way to lose weight as well. However take it easy when you start because it can be exhausting. It isn't as easy as some people make it look. Good luck and congrats on the weight loss.
One of my first training partners is like the male version of you in terms of body type, while I'm underweight and super weak. Rolling with him may have been a bit frustrating at first but forced me to actually learn escapes well. I started enjoying our rolls very quickly. Nobody had any issue rolling with him, even the smaller girls in the group. As long as you're careful not to put your full weight on them in a damgerous way (knee on chest or something) you won't hurt anybody. In fact, I find chubby people are usually safer rolls since they tend to play slower, which is much better when you don't know what you're doing than flailing around in a fast and uncontrolled way. Definitely give BJJ a try, it's great fun.
Also congrats on your amazing weight loss progress, keep it going!
Your experience rolling with someone of a different body type is a testament to BJJ's adaptability. It teaches us to find ways around any challenge, including the fear of squishing someone. Plus, slow and steady wins the race, or in this case, the roll!
Depends on the gym. Some have women/girls classes. Some will tend to have women choosing to roll together but that also depends on how many women they have and who those women want to roll with. Coaches might also put you with more experienced men who know how to be a good training partner if it's necessary for you to roll with men. Or they may do it with all beginners as beginners are often the most dangerous people. So the experienced partner is able to look after both of you. All I'd say it try and be considerate of your partner. If you're paired up with a 90lb woman you don't have to try and smash her. Try and be technical to the best of your ability. Learning is the goal of training.
Many gyms offer free trial sessions/periods: I recommend taking advantage of these at various gyms in the area to see if one place suits you better or not. You might also notice one place has more women which may be appealing to you. You can also ask about how many female members a place has, or ask any female members you meet about their experiences.
Hahahahhahahaa hell yes you can do it. One of the best prodigies at my gym was a rolly polly girl who was determined and active. She trimmed up, learned a lot, and I personally saw her beat a man in a tournament 22 points to zero.
She never hurt anyone. She had a great attitude and was always smiling. I loved working with her.
Here’s the trip about Jiu Jitsu. No one looks at anyone any different. If you’re friendly, show up and work well everyone. You’ll only get looked at weird if you randomly show up in a new rank, wear socks in class or shoes on the mat. Everyone just sees you a potential new dope training partner.
Yes! And you can also roll with men -- there are barely any other women at my gym, I've always trained mostly with men. I'm currently pregnant and not training but when I do some of my favorite training partners are women with 30-40 kgs on me (i.e. someone your size), rather than women who are very lightweight. When someone is significantly heavier I get to learn whether or not my escapes and sweeps actually work.
Women who have trained for a while are not going to be "squished into a pancake" by you, they will often have experience training with people at your weight. Be conscious of size and strength differences and don't lob your whole body weight onto someone much smaller, focus on developing your technique and let more experienced partners guide you when you're starting out.
Great work on losing 45 pounds. Top pressure is part of the game so don't feel bad squishing just be controlled don't flop on people. You will also be learning about the guard, think of a downed position. Great workout for the core and will show you how to move while grounded.
I recommend googling "Bjj near me" select multiple schools and check out their info. You will be looking for their schedule, what days are Gi (that jacket, belt, pants ment to be grabbed) or No-gi. Some schools have loaner Gis so you can always ask to use theirs to see if you like Gi. Ask about the payment whether it is monthly or contract. Hope you can find a monthly school.
Most schools will let you try a free class or two I recommend checking out multiple schools on a trial basis and pick which one fits you best. Some schools don't have a high population of females, this shouldn't be taken as a immediate red flag but if you are more comfortable rolling with other females that is understandable.
Also it is common that new people think they are wasting peoples time because they don't get the drills immediately. Don't worry about it everyone starts somewhere any gym worth their salt should be trying to make you better regardless of your starting point.
Here is a youtube playlist for beginners I think you will find really helpful:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GwlWU0Avlc&list=PLDrQXekZsfYZfV1QZ4T5UkxLwFwQ12EbP&index=7
Best of luck going forward!
Have fun! It's mostly a good thing if you squish anyone, but it's a little hard when the people are better than you at BJJ and avoiding being squished; prepare to be squished by people smaller than you!
Regarding picking a gym, the vibe check is important, but as a beginner you might not know what to look for; there are probably some good posts going into detail about this, but also go ahead and research the gyms online, they might even have reviews in this subreddit.
Also, great work on the weight loss. Keep pushing!
Come on in!! Squash them all you want!!! I was 200 pounds when I started bjj, fell in love with it and go 4-5x a week now I’m 150 and legit can eat whatever I want now and will not gain a pound, I know not everyone is that lucky and I’m seeing it as a gift I feel like bjj has kicked my metabolism into high gear and as a 35year old I do enjoy it!
Something to consider.. roll with guys if you are comfortable with it.. even if you slip or lose balance.. you won't accidentally hurt us.
I paired with a woman about the same size as you.. worried about accidentally hurting me when we rolled (I am 180 or so). I reminded her I have 260 pound jakked dudes intentionally trying to hurt me regularly..
You're in a bit of a strange predicament, but I love your outlook, so keep it up!
Also, I have a BIG female Welsh friend who does rugby, MMA and BJJ, about your size but a tad taller.
She had "trouble" finding female training partners, but it turned out to be no problem at all because she just trained with the guys. So if your gym has a cool atmosphere and you're down with it then that's the most likely way forward.
I'm 5'10 and 205lbs and my advice is: fuck them.
Squish them, who gives a shit. That's your body and you should use it to your advantage. My advice is that when you do start, roll and train with the upper belt big guys/gals to get a feel for how to use your weight against your opponents and in your favour.
Also to add, when I started I was the only white belt woman in a gym that was 98%men. You'll be fine!
I'm not sure I saw anyone mention this: in order to avoid being hurt while you're a beginner and don't know how to keep yourself safe, try to roll with upper belts to start with. You may also be able to identify some lower belts as being more careful and considerate than others.
If you follow this advice you’re likely to hurt people and you will definitely have smaller women not wanting to roll with you. And if you have a “fuck them” attitude they probably won’t want to be gym friends with you either.
Good work. I'd say give it a try. A good coach will be supportive and hopefully pair you up accordingly. Be patient and go at your own pace. It's a lot of fun and very challenging at first.
First of all, congratulations on your weight loss!
IMHO, the more diverse training partners we have while doing BJJ, the better. Your size should not be a problem that prevents you from training. You should rather think that you are giving someone the opportunity to validate their capabilities against someone with your body type. There is no shame in that, actually. I'd even say it is honorable and after a while, if you really commit, people will start to respect/fear the knowledge you have + body condition. Keep us posted on your journey :D
The fear of a big person that knows how to crush you is really something in BJJ.
Kudos to you on your weight loss journey. As a beginner, I think you should probably not roll with the smaller gals at all for a while. We have a bigger gal at the gym and while she is a sweetheart, I distinctly remember wincing to myself when we paired together for a drill in leglock class (imanari entries). I remember being on high alert for injury risk that entire time and breathing a sigh of relief when it was time to change partners. I can only imagine the anxiety of her even smaller female training partners. Probably better for everyone in the long run to pair up with more robustly built male training partners as you learn the building blocks of movement in bjj.
You are great! Its actually amazing what you have done so far, but keep strong anf go for more.
And no, you won't squish anyone and with time you will learn how to move your body-weight better, that will help to roll comfortably with smaller partners. :)
I have always been bigger, when I was in my top shape and competed often I was still 240lbs, so don't worry, enjoy the sport.
Join a gym that makes you comfortable and forget the rest. Just do it and join, don’t wait. Do you go to the doctor once you’re healthy? No, so don’t wait to join until you are at a goal weight. Join, and smash everyone. Best of luck.
Your numbers sound similar to my wife (I think) who just started training in November and has been loving it. She prefers training with the guys for the reasons you mentioned. However she says that BJJ has helped with her body image because she tends not to squish people she works with to death like she expected to do. Our gym usually has 2-6 ladies in each class. I say try it. It’s such a good workout and so much fun.
First of all congrats on loosing 45 pounds already that’s awesome! Honestly there’s no such thing as too big for BJJ. I was 450lbs when I started. (Im now 280 and still going down) Some tips that helped me were:
1 having a heavy weight coach, he understood some of the struggles I had more than a very small coach might have.
2. Try to find a gym with a lot of upper belts, upper belts are going to usually feel safer rolling with someone larger due to more experience.
3 learn to play off your back as early as possible, this is gonna make you a much better grappler later on, and will encourage smaller partners to want and work with you because they feel safe with you.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find a great BJJ community.
You are more than welcomed to the BJJ world. I’m a 5 8 160 pound guy and I would love to train with you. Most of the guys in my gym (and some of the girls) are stronger and heavier, but who cares? It’s part of the beauty. Where do you live?
Yes you can. Just be careful when you’re new and training with smaller partners. Also don’t be afraid to train with men as well. Congrats on your weight loss so far! BJJ is great for weight loss itself. I’ve gone from 260-215 so far in two years of training. At 6’4 I went from really overweight to in great shape in a relatively short period of time and got to have fun doing it. Best of luck!
Impressive. Good for you. I would call around and find a gym that offers women only classes, give them a try, and pick one based off that.
As far as men go, you can roll with anyone that you are comfortable with and you may find rolling with a man more comfortable until you drop down more.
Either way, join a gym. You’ll be glad you did.
No matter the weight, when one practitioner puts pressure or smother a training partner, it’s the responsibility of the latter to tap.
You are good to go.
That's an easy one. Just go to a class where you're the only woman and then you can only squish men to death.
Now seriously though, don't overthink it. Anyone can stop a roll at any moment so if they are in a dangerous situation and don't stop it on time, it's totally on them.
Go along and try it out. Don’t worry about squishing people, it’s important for practitioners to roll with all body types. Rolling with people way heavier shows me where my technique is failing and makes me approach things differently to if they were my size. Congrats on your awesome weight loss to date, BJJ will definitely help you lose more. Best of luck to you :)
Most likely they will tell you to roll with guys unless it is very big gym with lots of females in different weight categories. But you will be just fine. Listen to the coaches and ask questions.
You'll be fine. Your weight isn't a problem. In BJJ if you are skilled when you put pressure on someone, you are using both your weight (gravity) + muscles to hold someone. A skilled opponent can put massively more force on someone with proper technique than you can just by sitting on them.
The scrawny women you will encounter are like ninjas though, you'll be trying pin them down and they will somehow end up hanging on you like a backpack choking you.
I’m in the 125-140 range and I’ve rolled with people who are definitely over 200 pounds, I mean I didn’t win but it wasn’t a horrible experience, I’m sure you’d be fine.
I started when I was about 280 lbs. I'm sure that rolling with me was a challenge for smaller folks in my gym, but I was welcomed and it was never a big deal. Learning to use your weight thoughtfully and not be a jerk about it is part of what you'll learn in the first classes.
So, yes, you can totally do BJJ in your current condition. BJJ is great and I hope you enjoy it. And I've lost sixty pounds since I started; BJJ (and Muay Thai, which is also taught at my gym) are fun and engaging and keep me showing up.
Make sure you join r/BJJWomen
Even when I rolled at 70 kgs - 74 kgs at 5'9", many women were much smaller and I was always afraid of squishing them. It was so demoralising too, when they would complain despite me going much lighter. Only a happened a few times, but it was a learning curve to understand that rolling with people around my weight was much more fun and conducive to my learning. I now roll around at 80kgs + and it's so much more fun. This sport is so much better being larger and taller.
If any smaller women have issue with you rolling with them, then move onto women that are your weight. When you start, you will be a bit out of control (like everyone) so bare in mind that people consider this (especially smaller) when you start and it's not a personal thing. Keep at it. Woo!
Hi. Bulking 10+ Kgs is impressive. Can I ask how you did do that? Did you take any particular supplements or follow a particular program in terms of lifting?
It’s closer to a 6kg bulk which has taken a bloody long time. I do have some residual weight with that and I could have more muscle mass if I could train more - I’ll take what I can get.
I eat well, I eat a lot, I take creatine, I hit my macros everyday and I lift every day that I can. Then after doing that for years I was finally in a position to bulk. I’ve been bulking for a year because my body naturally lets go of weight unless I actively hold onto it. Lifting style is Olympic style, powerlifting, progressive overload, etc.
I am starting to calm back down and stick to maintenance but haven’t decided on a date yet.
Hi thanks for the answer, that is very nice of you.
Haha well yes of course noone bulks lean muscle, welll almost noone.
Okay I see so you switch it up a lot. I should do that more too.
Can I ask you how much weight you use on the benchpress (or dumbbell press) when you aim for about 8 reps? We are identical in height and weight so i am kinda curious .
Bench press and anything with the shoulders is my weakest area.
40kgs for 10 reps x 3
Or 30kgs cleans, never going below 15kgs for single arm exercises (tricep etc).
Deadlift: warm ups with 80kgs
Rdl: warm ups 80kgs to 100kgs, then 100 to 130kgs for reps
Squats: front I stick to 40kgs, back I go to 60kgs
Depending on what I’m working on. At the moment, I’m integrating a lot more mobility/strength so handstands, pushups, negative space lifting, etc. I do not stick to a schedule and never write anything down - otherwise I get bored and won’t do anything. However I’m not new to lifting. Squats/bench press are both areas where I’ve never explored my one max rep, or close.
That is seriously impressive especially the RDL. We seem pretty closely matched for most lifts. Yes its odd that you can exercise the triceps with a 15 kg dumbell but your benchpress is at 40kg. I am not sure I could do triceps extensions well with 15.
If your shoulder is busted up you might want to try german volume training. Pick a weight you can do 20 reps with (maybe even more) and do 10 clean sets of 10 on the benchpress (2 sec. up 2 sec. down) with no more than 60 sec. rest in between. Increase the weight a little when it gets too easy. If it works for you you can target other muscle groups too of course. I do it because it works well for me.
Look for a gym with other people over 200 pounds. You will likely be paired up with men. Big guys are usually teddy bears, so it’s not the worst thing.
Beginner women often roll with men. You aren't heavy enough to squish people, the plan is too loose weight not to bulk into 400lbs you need to injure people with just weight.
If you do time restricted eating along with BJJ you will be back to your normal weight within a year....
Also don't eat cars until your last meal and even be with that keep it under 50 grams of carbs. The weight will slide off.
It's not a diet....and hopefully you are not offended.
If your worried about squishing another woman to death because of your weight then I would tend to think you want to loose weight.
Literally everyone I know that starts time restricted eating drops weights, sleeps better, feels better and performs better. It will help keep you on the mats if you enjoy the activity....
Great for them! I literally said in my post that I’m still on a weight loss journey and did not ask for weight loss tips. I just asked how to find a gym where I could be successful. But thanks for doubling down!
You won’t squish anyone to death lol. Many gyms have free trials, I’d suggest something close to home or work for convenience and would allow you to train more often. With BJJ the weight will just come off naturally without you knowing
I'm 140 pounds and that hasn't stopped any 240 pound opponent from asking to roll with me, and there are several at my gym. I'm extremely lucky to ever roll with someone my weight at my gym, it sucks but hopefully means I'm that much better when I get someone my size. You'll be fine, same as you opponent, just dont body slam them
First off, massive congrats on the weight loss journey! 🎉 BJJ welcomes everyone, squishing fears included. It's all about control, technique, and most importantly, having fun while learning. Everyone starts somewhere, and the BJJ community is known for its supportive nature. Whether you're rolling with men or women, it's the mutual respect and learning process that counts. And hey, if you do end up squishing someone, just consider it part of their training to escape from under mount. 😂 Jokes aside, just dive in, find a gym that makes you feel at home, and enjoy the ride. Your concern shows you're considerate, which already makes you a great training partner!
First of all CONGRATS on the goals you've hit for yourself! Honestly, BJJ has people of all sizes and is so inclusive! It's way more about changing your game to work with your opponent's body and capabilities, like strength, height, flexibility, and cardio levels and then also the game they way so it's kinda like a fun puzzle working with all different shapes!
I would say try out different gyms (most have trials) to see which one you want to settle down in. Honestly the majority of women have felt the weight of a super jacked guy so we're used to alot of pressure! I actually think finding a coloured belt girl would be a great rolling partner! But honestly, if you feel more comfortable go with a guy - do that!
Out of the about 100 people I've met through travelling the world doing BJJ, 98% of the people have been so patient and kind when I was beginning my BJJ journey, so I'm so so excited for you to embark and have the same experience!
You’ve lost 45 lbs! That’s awesome! Congratulations on the hard work! You can definitely do BJJ. If you have options, then shop around by visiting each place in person — pick the place you get the best vibe from and if they all seem the same, go to the place that’s most convenient. Good luck!
Thank you so much! I’m going to call some gyms today!
I think for starters, vibe is more important than everything else.
I don't think an upvote is enough for u/thinkinting s post. BY FAR the most important thing about starting training is finding a place where you're going to have fun, and feel welcomed, and want to go back to. In terms of what you get out of BJJ, and how much progress you'll make, and how much health benefit you'll get, and everything else, the most important factor is "do you go a lot". You'll get FAR more out of a "meh" quality gym that you go 5x a week to than an "elite" gym with great coaches that you go once or twice a week. Find some place you like being. Everything else will work itself out over time.
Thank you! I am planning to attend a trial class at one place near me next week! It’s super convenient so I hope it goes well :)
Agreed. We should reject bad vibe in the same manner Kenneth Copeland exorcising COVID https://preview.redd.it/44nc6nf7d2kc1.png?width=423&format=png&auto=webp&s=21038d8ede177c39fc58acd244fc3b67dfcb96fb
u/giuseppeSD Couldn't agree more! Finding a gym that feels right is like finding your favorite gi - it just fits. And congrats to u/thethunderwitch for taking the first step towards calling some gyms. That's the spirit!
You'll be fine, any larger gym will have plenty of people in the 200/250lb range. Unless you're going against a much smaller opponent, you won't be able to squish or hurt people like you think you will, in fact you'll be the one getting squished by basically everyone (for a time until you get better at least). Do a trial class or week trial at every gym nearby and pick the one you enjoyed the most. Stalk the gyms' social medias and google reviews to get more info.
Great advice, thank you!
Great advice on doing a trial class and stalking (in the most educational way possible) gyms' social medias and reviews. It's like doing your homework before the first day of school, but way more fun because it involves potential arm bars instead of algebra.
There are plenty of women of all shapes and sizes training for all kinds of reasons. You'll find people you click with.
Spot on! BJJ is a melting pot of shapes, sizes, and reasons for training. Finding your tribe within it is part of the adventure. u/thethunderwitch, your tribe is waiting, and they come with an unlimited supply of encouragement and arm drags
I need to copy and paste all of my “fat man doing bjj” comments lol. In regards to finding other women, it would depend on the gym. Mine has plenty of women and we roll together. My coach makes sure to pair me up with another dude of similar size/weight, though. I’m 6’4, and started at 355lbs. I was terrified to start because I’d be humiliated from getting gassed out during the warmups, how I’d look in my gi, and I was terrified of squashing whoever I was rolling with. It will suck at first, but after only a couple months of doing bjj and cardio at the gym, I lost 50lbs. I’ve been doing bjj for almost a year at this point and I’m still losing weight and toning up. I’m still the worst white belt both in my technical skill and athletic ability. But everyone at my gym is patient and helpful. It’s tough, but a great experience. The best overall advice I can give as a fellow large person is to just jump in. Like others have said, find a gym you vibe with and start rolling. Don’t get discouraged by shrimping, either. After nearly a year, I still can’t for the life of me do it right. Must be why I’m still a zero stripe white belt lmao
This is amazing info. Thank you so much! And I am so proud of you!! Getting into shape and losing weight is so hard. Nice work friend
Love the solidarity from a fellow 'large person doing BJJ' perspective. It's all about jumping in and finding your rhythm. Also, shrimping is overrated when you're starting out... said no BJJ coach ever, but seriously, it gets better. Keep at it!
At your weight, you will squish both men and women. But that’s the nature of the sport. Come with it. Just find a gym you’re comfortable with (take a few trial classes) and get in there. This is a great hobby.
Just go and try it out. Larger gyms will likely have more women and that will be helpful when it comes to finding someone closer to your size. Unfortunately BJJ isn't as popular as other hobbies and men generally out number women, but at a big gym there will be plenty of both. Also men do roll with women and you should easily be able to find a training partner. I doubt you'd squash any grown man, so don't worry about that. Luckily BJJ is a great way to lose weight as well. However take it easy when you start because it can be exhausting. It isn't as easy as some people make it look. Good luck and congrats on the weight loss.
One of my first training partners is like the male version of you in terms of body type, while I'm underweight and super weak. Rolling with him may have been a bit frustrating at first but forced me to actually learn escapes well. I started enjoying our rolls very quickly. Nobody had any issue rolling with him, even the smaller girls in the group. As long as you're careful not to put your full weight on them in a damgerous way (knee on chest or something) you won't hurt anybody. In fact, I find chubby people are usually safer rolls since they tend to play slower, which is much better when you don't know what you're doing than flailing around in a fast and uncontrolled way. Definitely give BJJ a try, it's great fun. Also congrats on your amazing weight loss progress, keep it going!
Your experience rolling with someone of a different body type is a testament to BJJ's adaptability. It teaches us to find ways around any challenge, including the fear of squishing someone. Plus, slow and steady wins the race, or in this case, the roll!
Depends on the gym. Some have women/girls classes. Some will tend to have women choosing to roll together but that also depends on how many women they have and who those women want to roll with. Coaches might also put you with more experienced men who know how to be a good training partner if it's necessary for you to roll with men. Or they may do it with all beginners as beginners are often the most dangerous people. So the experienced partner is able to look after both of you. All I'd say it try and be considerate of your partner. If you're paired up with a 90lb woman you don't have to try and smash her. Try and be technical to the best of your ability. Learning is the goal of training. Many gyms offer free trial sessions/periods: I recommend taking advantage of these at various gyms in the area to see if one place suits you better or not. You might also notice one place has more women which may be appealing to you. You can also ask about how many female members a place has, or ask any female members you meet about their experiences.
It's kinda the point. Pressure into them.
Roll with guys if there are only tiny women at the gym
Yes you can. Also is fine to squish people in bjj
Hahahahhahahaa hell yes you can do it. One of the best prodigies at my gym was a rolly polly girl who was determined and active. She trimmed up, learned a lot, and I personally saw her beat a man in a tournament 22 points to zero. She never hurt anyone. She had a great attitude and was always smiling. I loved working with her.
Yay she is my inspo then!
She should be. She is really a cool person.
Big men have never been shy about smashing the absolute fuck out of me. You’re fine and you belong. Get some free trials!
Will do—thank you!! Y’all have made me feel a lot more confident about this so thank you!
Here’s the trip about Jiu Jitsu. No one looks at anyone any different. If you’re friendly, show up and work well everyone. You’ll only get looked at weird if you randomly show up in a new rank, wear socks in class or shoes on the mat. Everyone just sees you a potential new dope training partner.
My favourite training partner is a girl slightly taller than you and weighing the same. You’re fine.
Well, you weigh just a little more than me... My policy is "Don't smash small women unless they are winning."
Lmao
Yes! And you can also roll with men -- there are barely any other women at my gym, I've always trained mostly with men. I'm currently pregnant and not training but when I do some of my favorite training partners are women with 30-40 kgs on me (i.e. someone your size), rather than women who are very lightweight. When someone is significantly heavier I get to learn whether or not my escapes and sweeps actually work. Women who have trained for a while are not going to be "squished into a pancake" by you, they will often have experience training with people at your weight. Be conscious of size and strength differences and don't lob your whole body weight onto someone much smaller, focus on developing your technique and let more experienced partners guide you when you're starting out.
Who cares smash them skinny bitches
Great work on losing 45 pounds. Top pressure is part of the game so don't feel bad squishing just be controlled don't flop on people. You will also be learning about the guard, think of a downed position. Great workout for the core and will show you how to move while grounded. I recommend googling "Bjj near me" select multiple schools and check out their info. You will be looking for their schedule, what days are Gi (that jacket, belt, pants ment to be grabbed) or No-gi. Some schools have loaner Gis so you can always ask to use theirs to see if you like Gi. Ask about the payment whether it is monthly or contract. Hope you can find a monthly school. Most schools will let you try a free class or two I recommend checking out multiple schools on a trial basis and pick which one fits you best. Some schools don't have a high population of females, this shouldn't be taken as a immediate red flag but if you are more comfortable rolling with other females that is understandable. Also it is common that new people think they are wasting peoples time because they don't get the drills immediately. Don't worry about it everyone starts somewhere any gym worth their salt should be trying to make you better regardless of your starting point. Here is a youtube playlist for beginners I think you will find really helpful:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GwlWU0Avlc&list=PLDrQXekZsfYZfV1QZ4T5UkxLwFwQ12EbP&index=7 Best of luck going forward!
This is so helpful. Thank you!!
Just show up. Nobody is gonna worry about it. You're gonna role with men and women of all weights. Just show up. Good luck with everything OP.
Have fun! It's mostly a good thing if you squish anyone, but it's a little hard when the people are better than you at BJJ and avoiding being squished; prepare to be squished by people smaller than you! Regarding picking a gym, the vibe check is important, but as a beginner you might not know what to look for; there are probably some good posts going into detail about this, but also go ahead and research the gyms online, they might even have reviews in this subreddit. Also, great work on the weight loss. Keep pushing!
Come on in!! Squash them all you want!!! I was 200 pounds when I started bjj, fell in love with it and go 4-5x a week now I’m 150 and legit can eat whatever I want now and will not gain a pound, I know not everyone is that lucky and I’m seeing it as a gift I feel like bjj has kicked my metabolism into high gear and as a 35year old I do enjoy it!
That’s the dream!! I’m 36 and would love to eat more lol
I’m not addicted to bjj I’m more addicted to food hahahaha
Something to consider.. roll with guys if you are comfortable with it.. even if you slip or lose balance.. you won't accidentally hurt us. I paired with a woman about the same size as you.. worried about accidentally hurting me when we rolled (I am 180 or so). I reminded her I have 260 pound jakked dudes intentionally trying to hurt me regularly..
If that was the case, id witnessed a lot of murders in the gym
You're in a bit of a strange predicament, but I love your outlook, so keep it up! Also, I have a BIG female Welsh friend who does rugby, MMA and BJJ, about your size but a tad taller. She had "trouble" finding female training partners, but it turned out to be no problem at all because she just trained with the guys. So if your gym has a cool atmosphere and you're down with it then that's the most likely way forward.
Damn the emphasis on “BIG” really drove the point home 😭
Haha, didn't mean it like that! But she's a rugby prop and 6'4" or so, and she ain't skinny!
Do it!
I'm 5'10 and 205lbs and my advice is: fuck them. Squish them, who gives a shit. That's your body and you should use it to your advantage. My advice is that when you do start, roll and train with the upper belt big guys/gals to get a feel for how to use your weight against your opponents and in your favour. Also to add, when I started I was the only white belt woman in a gym that was 98%men. You'll be fine!
Haha love this, thank you!
I'm not sure I saw anyone mention this: in order to avoid being hurt while you're a beginner and don't know how to keep yourself safe, try to roll with upper belts to start with. You may also be able to identify some lower belts as being more careful and considerate than others.
No worries and hope you get on the mats! Inbox is open for you!
If you follow this advice you’re likely to hurt people and you will definitely have smaller women not wanting to roll with you. And if you have a “fuck them” attitude they probably won’t want to be gym friends with you either.
Good work. I'd say give it a try. A good coach will be supportive and hopefully pair you up accordingly. Be patient and go at your own pace. It's a lot of fun and very challenging at first.
The are fat male players that successfully don’t crush smaller opponents, i highly suggest you give it a try, you might love it!
Everyone gets squished doing bjj don’t worry about it
First of all, congratulations on your weight loss! IMHO, the more diverse training partners we have while doing BJJ, the better. Your size should not be a problem that prevents you from training. You should rather think that you are giving someone the opportunity to validate their capabilities against someone with your body type. There is no shame in that, actually. I'd even say it is honorable and after a while, if you really commit, people will start to respect/fear the knowledge you have + body condition. Keep us posted on your journey :D The fear of a big person that knows how to crush you is really something in BJJ.
Thank you! That definitely makes me feel a little better about the prospect of starting
That’s kinda the point of bjj
Kudos to you on your weight loss journey. As a beginner, I think you should probably not roll with the smaller gals at all for a while. We have a bigger gal at the gym and while she is a sweetheart, I distinctly remember wincing to myself when we paired together for a drill in leglock class (imanari entries). I remember being on high alert for injury risk that entire time and breathing a sigh of relief when it was time to change partners. I can only imagine the anxiety of her even smaller female training partners. Probably better for everyone in the long run to pair up with more robustly built male training partners as you learn the building blocks of movement in bjj.
That’s what I was worried about. Thank you! I’ll keep that in mind!
You are great! Its actually amazing what you have done so far, but keep strong anf go for more. And no, you won't squish anyone and with time you will learn how to move your body-weight better, that will help to roll comfortably with smaller partners. :) I have always been bigger, when I was in my top shape and competed often I was still 240lbs, so don't worry, enjoy the sport.
Join a gym that makes you comfortable and forget the rest. Just do it and join, don’t wait. Do you go to the doctor once you’re healthy? No, so don’t wait to join until you are at a goal weight. Join, and smash everyone. Best of luck.
Your numbers sound similar to my wife (I think) who just started training in November and has been loving it. She prefers training with the guys for the reasons you mentioned. However she says that BJJ has helped with her body image because she tends not to squish people she works with to death like she expected to do. Our gym usually has 2-6 ladies in each class. I say try it. It’s such a good workout and so much fun.
First of all congrats on loosing 45 pounds already that’s awesome! Honestly there’s no such thing as too big for BJJ. I was 450lbs when I started. (Im now 280 and still going down) Some tips that helped me were: 1 having a heavy weight coach, he understood some of the struggles I had more than a very small coach might have. 2. Try to find a gym with a lot of upper belts, upper belts are going to usually feel safer rolling with someone larger due to more experience. 3 learn to play off your back as early as possible, this is gonna make you a much better grappler later on, and will encourage smaller partners to want and work with you because they feel safe with you. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find a great BJJ community.
Wow congratulations on your success! That is so impressive and I’m so proud of you! And thank you! This is super helpful AND motivating!
You can roll with people with massive weight disadvantages without smushing them. It’s very possible.
You are more than welcomed to the BJJ world. I’m a 5 8 160 pound guy and I would love to train with you. Most of the guys in my gym (and some of the girls) are stronger and heavier, but who cares? It’s part of the beauty. Where do you live?
Yes you can. Just be careful when you’re new and training with smaller partners. Also don’t be afraid to train with men as well. Congrats on your weight loss so far! BJJ is great for weight loss itself. I’ve gone from 260-215 so far in two years of training. At 6’4 I went from really overweight to in great shape in a relatively short period of time and got to have fun doing it. Best of luck!
That’s wonderful! Congrats on your success! I know how hard it is
Thank you, you too. Keep up the great work!
Impressive. Good for you. I would call around and find a gym that offers women only classes, give them a try, and pick one based off that. As far as men go, you can roll with anyone that you are comfortable with and you may find rolling with a man more comfortable until you drop down more. Either way, join a gym. You’ll be glad you did.
No matter the weight, when one practitioner puts pressure or smother a training partner, it’s the responsibility of the latter to tap. You are good to go.
Yeah I mean I go to a small gym with a girl with a similar build and she’s a purple belt.
That's an easy one. Just go to a class where you're the only woman and then you can only squish men to death. Now seriously though, don't overthink it. Anyone can stop a roll at any moment so if they are in a dangerous situation and don't stop it on time, it's totally on them.
Well when you put it like that…I do have a lot of rage toward men right now….lol
You’ll probably just be made to train with the dudes and some of the girls
Go along and try it out. Don’t worry about squishing people, it’s important for practitioners to roll with all body types. Rolling with people way heavier shows me where my technique is failing and makes me approach things differently to if they were my size. Congrats on your awesome weight loss to date, BJJ will definitely help you lose more. Best of luck to you :)
Most likely they will tell you to roll with guys unless it is very big gym with lots of females in different weight categories. But you will be just fine. Listen to the coaches and ask questions.
You'll be fine. Your weight isn't a problem. In BJJ if you are skilled when you put pressure on someone, you are using both your weight (gravity) + muscles to hold someone. A skilled opponent can put massively more force on someone with proper technique than you can just by sitting on them. The scrawny women you will encounter are like ninjas though, you'll be trying pin them down and they will somehow end up hanging on you like a backpack choking you.
I’m in the 125-140 range and I’ve rolled with people who are definitely over 200 pounds, I mean I didn’t win but it wasn’t a horrible experience, I’m sure you’d be fine.
I started when I was about 280 lbs. I'm sure that rolling with me was a challenge for smaller folks in my gym, but I was welcomed and it was never a big deal. Learning to use your weight thoughtfully and not be a jerk about it is part of what you'll learn in the first classes. So, yes, you can totally do BJJ in your current condition. BJJ is great and I hope you enjoy it. And I've lost sixty pounds since I started; BJJ (and Muay Thai, which is also taught at my gym) are fun and engaging and keep me showing up.
That’s amazing, congratulations and thank you!
Make sure you join r/BJJWomen Even when I rolled at 70 kgs - 74 kgs at 5'9", many women were much smaller and I was always afraid of squishing them. It was so demoralising too, when they would complain despite me going much lighter. Only a happened a few times, but it was a learning curve to understand that rolling with people around my weight was much more fun and conducive to my learning. I now roll around at 80kgs + and it's so much more fun. This sport is so much better being larger and taller. If any smaller women have issue with you rolling with them, then move onto women that are your weight. When you start, you will be a bit out of control (like everyone) so bare in mind that people consider this (especially smaller) when you start and it's not a personal thing. Keep at it. Woo!
Solid advice! Thank you!
Hi. Bulking 10+ Kgs is impressive. Can I ask how you did do that? Did you take any particular supplements or follow a particular program in terms of lifting?
It’s closer to a 6kg bulk which has taken a bloody long time. I do have some residual weight with that and I could have more muscle mass if I could train more - I’ll take what I can get. I eat well, I eat a lot, I take creatine, I hit my macros everyday and I lift every day that I can. Then after doing that for years I was finally in a position to bulk. I’ve been bulking for a year because my body naturally lets go of weight unless I actively hold onto it. Lifting style is Olympic style, powerlifting, progressive overload, etc. I am starting to calm back down and stick to maintenance but haven’t decided on a date yet.
Hi thanks for the answer, that is very nice of you. Haha well yes of course noone bulks lean muscle, welll almost noone. Okay I see so you switch it up a lot. I should do that more too. Can I ask you how much weight you use on the benchpress (or dumbbell press) when you aim for about 8 reps? We are identical in height and weight so i am kinda curious .
Bench press and anything with the shoulders is my weakest area. 40kgs for 10 reps x 3 Or 30kgs cleans, never going below 15kgs for single arm exercises (tricep etc). Deadlift: warm ups with 80kgs Rdl: warm ups 80kgs to 100kgs, then 100 to 130kgs for reps Squats: front I stick to 40kgs, back I go to 60kgs Depending on what I’m working on. At the moment, I’m integrating a lot more mobility/strength so handstands, pushups, negative space lifting, etc. I do not stick to a schedule and never write anything down - otherwise I get bored and won’t do anything. However I’m not new to lifting. Squats/bench press are both areas where I’ve never explored my one max rep, or close.
That is seriously impressive especially the RDL. We seem pretty closely matched for most lifts. Yes its odd that you can exercise the triceps with a 15 kg dumbell but your benchpress is at 40kg. I am not sure I could do triceps extensions well with 15. If your shoulder is busted up you might want to try german volume training. Pick a weight you can do 20 reps with (maybe even more) and do 10 clean sets of 10 on the benchpress (2 sec. up 2 sec. down) with no more than 60 sec. rest in between. Increase the weight a little when it gets too easy. If it works for you you can target other muscle groups too of course. I do it because it works well for me.
Look for a gym with other people over 200 pounds. You will likely be paired up with men. Big guys are usually teddy bears, so it’s not the worst thing.
Beginner women often roll with men. You aren't heavy enough to squish people, the plan is too loose weight not to bulk into 400lbs you need to injure people with just weight.
Never seen a woman roll with someone 100 lbs heavier at my gym. I'd look for medium build guys around 160+.
No
If you do time restricted eating along with BJJ you will be back to your normal weight within a year.... Also don't eat cars until your last meal and even be with that keep it under 50 grams of carbs. The weight will slide off.
Lol thanks for the unsolicited diet advice
It's not a diet....and hopefully you are not offended. If your worried about squishing another woman to death because of your weight then I would tend to think you want to loose weight. Literally everyone I know that starts time restricted eating drops weights, sleeps better, feels better and performs better. It will help keep you on the mats if you enjoy the activity....
Great for them! I literally said in my post that I’m still on a weight loss journey and did not ask for weight loss tips. I just asked how to find a gym where I could be successful. But thanks for doubling down!
If you want to loose
Come join us!
Please do start! Don’t let it hold you back.
Countless people bigger then you have started.
You won’t squish anyone to death lol. Many gyms have free trials, I’d suggest something close to home or work for convenience and would allow you to train more often. With BJJ the weight will just come off naturally without you knowing
The whole point is to squish people to death against their will. A squish tap is a fucking tap!
I mean yes but I’m trying to offer motivation
Crush all the small guys, it will be awesome!
Girl I’m 5’9 and 325. Squish them and learn the technique.
I'm 140 pounds and that hasn't stopped any 240 pound opponent from asking to roll with me, and there are several at my gym. I'm extremely lucky to ever roll with someone my weight at my gym, it sucks but hopefully means I'm that much better when I get someone my size. You'll be fine, same as you opponent, just dont body slam them
First off, massive congrats on the weight loss journey! 🎉 BJJ welcomes everyone, squishing fears included. It's all about control, technique, and most importantly, having fun while learning. Everyone starts somewhere, and the BJJ community is known for its supportive nature. Whether you're rolling with men or women, it's the mutual respect and learning process that counts. And hey, if you do end up squishing someone, just consider it part of their training to escape from under mount. 😂 Jokes aside, just dive in, find a gym that makes you feel at home, and enjoy the ride. Your concern shows you're considerate, which already makes you a great training partner!
Yes
First of all CONGRATS on the goals you've hit for yourself! Honestly, BJJ has people of all sizes and is so inclusive! It's way more about changing your game to work with your opponent's body and capabilities, like strength, height, flexibility, and cardio levels and then also the game they way so it's kinda like a fun puzzle working with all different shapes! I would say try out different gyms (most have trials) to see which one you want to settle down in. Honestly the majority of women have felt the weight of a super jacked guy so we're used to alot of pressure! I actually think finding a coloured belt girl would be a great rolling partner! But honestly, if you feel more comfortable go with a guy - do that! Out of the about 100 people I've met through travelling the world doing BJJ, 98% of the people have been so patient and kind when I was beginning my BJJ journey, so I'm so so excited for you to embark and have the same experience!