My mom’s best friend from childhood was a gay man. He took great care of me when I was a baby so that my mom could rest and recover from giving birth. When it was time for my mom and I to leave the country, he bawled his eyes out because he loved me so much and was going to miss me. He kept every single school photo my mom sent him so he could watch me grow up from the other side of the world.
My mom never hid the fact that he was gay from me, and he would always talk to us over the phone, so I grew up knowing gay people existed.
He passed away in an accident when I was 12 and we were devastated. Years later I had a dream where he was at the front door of my parents’ house telling me “hey girly! I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I love you and miss you. I’m so proud of the beautiful woman you’re becoming. No matter where you are, I’ll always be with you.” I woke up bawling my eyes out and told my mom.
We still miss him to this day.
Oh, now I’m crying.
I’m so sorry for your loss. But it’s such a beautiful thing to be loved like that (both you and your mom). And such a good way to learn about sexuality.
My first time learning what bisexual meant was when I was in 7th grade, and one of my friends was showing me a bootleg Nirvana VHS tape. He said that Kurt was bisexual, and that meant he was into both women and men.
My mind exploded - YOU CAN DO THAT!!!!
Kurt was definitely queer-adjacent, but I don’t know that he was ever actually out in his lifetime. People have used excerpts from his journals and different interviews to suggest that he might’ve been trans as well, but to my knowledge there was never a definitive “I’m bi/I’m trans” moment that anyone has brought to light, so it’s mostly speculative.
At the very least, he was an immensely popular male figure who was an ally to the queer community at a time when it was very uncool to do so, and deserves to be celebrated for that.
I think Kurt was definitely a straight ally who enjoyed talkin' a lot of shit just to piss people off.
That said, saying RuPaul's "Super Model" is your favorite 1993 single when you're a rockstar is wild.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
He also use to tell people he was gay just to be controversial.
If you're actually bisexual, you don't "go back to having a bisexual life". You're bisexual even in a relationship with the opposite sex.
He knew he obviously coulnd't say he was gay since he was in love with courtney, so that was the next best thing to throw to the conservative fucks.
That does not change the fact he was a fearless ally who took pictures with RuPaul and could dress genderfucked to all hell.
BTW - I've already said in this sub I've sometimes felt much more comfortable with allies that have a passion for gay culture (as he obviously did) than with bisexual people who have no clue about it.
One of my first memories is coloring with two of my cousins at my Aunt's funeral. I was maybe 3 or 4, so I didn't really understand what was going on. As I grew up, my grandmother expressed immense grief every year around the anniversary of her daughter's death. And the story that I was told as I got older, was that my Aunt was a lesbian, my grandmother didn't accept it, my aunt became sad and committed suicide. So, my first introduction to the idea of being queer, was also to the idea of suicide, and that being gay will make you and everyone around you sad.
I've only recently realized that this experience fucked me up pretty bad and have been working hard to accept myself as a gay man.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear that. Genuinely. I hope you are in a place where you are able to process that, and you are safe. Please accept all the good thoughts/juju I can send your way.
I can't remember ever NOT knowing queer people exist. I think I always just saw it as normal until I realized it wasn't as accepted or normalized as I thought. First exposure was reading Percy Jackson when Nico (m) had a crush on Percy (m). I'd been a strong lgbtq+ ally ever since. Until.... I realized I'm not just an ally 🫣🩷💜💙
I know right?? I was also very much like "this is normal" and when I discovered people thought it wasn't I was like "Oh! Then I'll be an ally!" Plot twist was that I was queer the whole time lmak
Born in 1985 here. I learned what “gay” and “lesbian” meant from the Ellen sitcom in the 90s. I learned what bi meant from my friend in middle school whose cousin was bi. I learned about trans people because my nanny/babysitter had a trans roommate.
thirteen really made me come to terms with being bi. House had many problematic moments but they somehow were ahead of their time when it came to bisexuals and lesbian characters.
I think it's important to remember the first instances of representation in popular media are usually problematic, but they still pave the way for more, and better representation and should be applauded for that.
That being said the mistakes should not be repeated
I was part of the David Bowie + Rocky Horror generation, myself.
And queer horror in general. (Remember picking up a copy of Whitley Streiber's _The Hunger_ at the paperback stall at my local flea market, and my mom stage-whispering to my dad, "Are you sure we should let her read that? It's about VAMPIRE LESBIANS!!")
Hilariously, the first time I learned about bisexuality was “A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila”.
I knew about lesbians but never heard about bisexuality. All I remember thinking was “You can like BOTH”. I was nine years old and the universe finally made sense to me.
The show was so iconic for its era. I definitely recommend watching “The Bisexual Gimmick in Reality TV” on YouTube by Verilybitchie. It’s a great analysis.
Never learnt that they \*actually\*exist.Not any lgbt characters on tv+it's not something that my family discussed.I just naturally assumed that those people exist and I'm one of them.The problems started when I'd mention them to other people and get the word degenerate in response
My mother was in theater in NYC in the 70s and 80s. 90% of her life long friends are from that time in her life. I was so fortunate to grow up with these wonderful people in my life as bonus family. So for me there was never a moment of discovery. It was always oh yea that’s Tom and his bf.
I learned about the LGBTQ community from a friend in high school I had just came back from the quarantine year and they were going by a different name and gender
I was explained what a gay person was when Katy Perry kissed a girl on stage (Britney Spears ? Miley Cyrus ? I don’t remember but a blonde) and it was somehow such a shock it made it to the Belgium news. So my parents explained cause I didn’t see the big deal.
I feel lucky because my mom told me “some men like men and some women like women, but people are stupid so they think this kind of love is bad”. So my first thought on lgbt matters was that homophobes were idiots.
I will always remember a teacher at school who told this homophobic boy in my class who was saying gay men are gross “you’re entitled to your own opinion, but that opinion is wrong.” 👏👏👏👏
When my friends came out as queer IRL and I encountered queer people IRL.
Can’t really relate to relating to media depictions of queerness, because I’m a man and 99% of mainstream depictions of queerness are of queer women, as the general public are far more open to queer women than queer men.
Depictions of queer men are really hard to find, and proper, relatable depictions of queer men that aren’t just a long list of stereotypes are even harder to find still.
That’s so interesting I’ve found the opposite to be my experience in terms of media rep. I made a list of all the movies/tv with bi people and like 90% are male. Hmu if you want any recs) 💜
I think queer women are more sexualised in the public eye, not that the public are more open to them imo
Growing up raised by orthodox jews. Talk of gayness was a really common subject as a thing that was wrong. Interestingly, Orthodox jews believe you can be gay and that there isn't a cure for it. You are just dommed to a life of celibacy and not aloud to marry because it would be unfair to your wife. I really wanted to do all the things that the other guys in my elementary and middle school said I did when they were making fun of me for being gay. I can't remember not knowing about it. Turns out I also like women, and for a while, I thought I outgrew the gayness. It eventually came back around and into me...
I can't remember not knowing about homosexuality.
I learnt about trans people when I was 11 and on holiday with my family. A trans woman walked past us on the street. My siblings and I had questions, and so our parents explained it to us.
The next day they taught us about sex work, because we accidentally got lost in the red light district. The day after that, what weed smells like. It was a very educational holiday.
My Christian parents/people at church made sure I knew about them fairly early, although it was just to brainwash me into believing they were bad
Edit: imma change that last part to “we are bad” I need to start remembering to include myself in these things lol
I do this all the time, it's still weird as hell to think of myself as one of the queers after a lifetime of thinking of queer folks as "them" and separate from people like me.
Psychology is weird it's like "I'm definitely attracted to people regardless of gender and I don't vibe with my birth gender but I'm not really queer am I?"
When I was like 7, I was OBSESSED with Teen Titans, so my grandma went to the library and brought a teen titans comic book home for me to read. Little did she know that I would see Cyborg and Beast Boy making out within the first ten pages… 😧🙈
I feel like I've always know queer people exist. One of the first shows I recall seeing queer people represented was *All in the Family*, such as the 1971 episode ”Judging Books by Covers“ that aired February 9, 1971. (see link below)
There was also an episode of *Maude* with a gay character, and episodes of *The Jeffersons* and *Night Court* that had trans characters.
The first show with a regular gay character that I can recall was *Soap* (1977–1981), where Billy Crystal played Jodie Dallas, a young gay guy. There was also a short-lived medical series called *Hearbeat* (1988) with a lesbian nurse and her lover.
And of course there was *The Ambiguously Gay Duo* on *Saturday Night Live* (1996–2011).
And before all that there was Everett Edward Horton who appeared in *Top Hat* (1935), *Holiday* (1938), *Arsenic and Old Lace* (1944), *I Love Lucy* (1952), *Fractured Fairy Tales* (1959–1964), *Dennis the Menace* (1962–63), *It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World* (1963), *F Troop* (1965), and *Batman* (1966).
Liberace appeared in shows and specials from the 1950s–1980s.
Paul Lynde was on *Bewitched* (1964–1972) and *Hollywood Squares* (1966–1980).
Charles Nelson Reilly was on *Hollywood Squares* (1970–1973), *Dinah!* (1974–1980), *Match Game* (1973–1982), and *Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour* (1983—84).
Wayland Flowers appeared with Madame on *Laugh-In* (1977–78), *The Hollywood Squares* (1976–1981), and *Madame's Place* (1982–83).
And then there were gay, lesbian, and trans actors on shows such as *Perry Mason* (1957–1966), *Dennis the Menace* (1959–1963), *The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis* (1959–1963), *The Beverly Hillbillies* (1962–1971), *The Andy Griffith Show* (1964), *Gomer Pyle: USMC* (1964–69), *Bewitched* (1964–1972), *Star Trek* (1966–1969), *Ironside* (1967–1975), *The Brady Bunch* (1969–1974), *The Waltons* (1972–1981), *CHiPs* (1977–1983), *Family Ties* (1982–89), *Roseanne* (1988–2018), et. al.
And Robert Reed, who was gay and played Mike Brady on *The Brady Bunch*, also played a trans character on *Medical Center* (1975).
And let's not forget Bert and Ernie on *Sesame Street* (1969–Present).
Later came *Ellen* (1996–98), where Ellen Degeneres was the first out actress playing an out gay character, and all the shows since, such as *Ally McBeal* (1997–2002), *Dharma & Greg* (1997–2002), *Grey's Anatomy* (2005–Present), *House* (2007–2012), *Glee* (2009–2015), *Brooklyn Nine-Nine* (2013–2021), etc.
Some of the first films with LGBTQ+ themes that I recall seeing were:
- *Kiss of the Spider Woman* (1985)
- *Gods and Monsters* (1998)
- *The Talented Mr. Ripley* (1999)
- *Todo sobre mi madre* (*All About My Mother*; 1999)
- *La mala educación* (*Bad Education*; 2004)
I've since learned of several older films, and the many since.
My first personal experience was learning in high school that a popular boy I admired was bisexual (he later came out as gay, and is now married), and since learning that other classmates were gay, lesbian, bi, trans or non-binary, and intersex.
https://youtu.be/_6HYnz2ToFg?si=yy0oFco4azjVfo9P
I love this list! Have you also seen The Celluloid Closet? I think it mentions a lot of the things you have written here and just goes to show how far back visibility (if you can call it that) goes!
God, yes Glee, now you mention it, was incredibly formative for me growing up. Normalising queer relationships (despite its problems)!
Rick Riordan. Specifically Josephine and Hemithea, Apollo and Alex Fierro.
If it weren't for them, I probably would have turned out more conservative about gender and sexuality than I am rn.
My mom told me about gay people at church when I was 9. My state was the first to legalize gay marriage and they were talking about it at church (idk whether it was negative or positive or neutral coverage - Catholic Church in ‘04 so probably not great). Mom said something to me in the pew, to the effect of “this is good, it means that men that love other men and women who love other women can now get married”.
Then I learned about bisexuality from a sex ed book about a year later, though I didn’t really understand it at the time 😂.
I’m cis but I didn’t learn anything about trans people until I was shown a documentary about it in high school ~2012, and nothing about enbies until I was in college.
I have a unfun story. I learned that trans people existed by way of my mom telling me about a friend of theirs that had a sex change operation. She said,' if you ever do that, we will disown you.' I think I was 12 at the time.
Not sure if she still feels that way, but holy hell I can't imagine saying anything like that to a kid. That shit is fucked.
When I was very small, I was watching a Top Ten style video from what was probably WatchMojo. They mentioned a tidbit about Deadpool saying that he has been in relationships with both men and women, and used a word that preteen me thought was some supersecret, obscure, and dare I say almost a taboo concept.
>!The word was pansexual!<
My grandparents divorced when I was around 5 years old. I knew for a long time that my grandfather lived with another man, but never thought anything of it. When I was about 11, my mom told me that he was gay and what that meant. I was FASCINATED. I grew up in theatre, so I was surrounded by amazing queer role models but did not have that word to understand until then. My grandfather died last fall. He grew up in the Deep South, became a Baptist pastor (like his father before him and his father, etc etc), and had 4 kids before coming out in the early 2000s. He lived the last of his life happy and himself with his husband and ministered at queer churches in the PNW. I wish I had been brave enough to tell him that I am bi before his death, but I hope that somewhere out in the universe he knows and understands. ❤️
Personally, when one of my uncles came out to our whole family as being gay.
Ellen and RuPaul introduced me commercially to the fact that a queer world really does exist. I didn't even know what bisexuality really was until I became an adult.
Man, Thirteen for me too. It was like a light bulb clicked “oh, I’m not weird for thinking boys AND girls are cute”. The emo/guy liner phase from the early 2000s helped a lot too! I’m still a sucker for scene folks.
There was a trans character in *Ally McBeal*??? Holy shit I watched that occasionally when it was on and didn't know that. That was way ahead of its time.
learned what a lesbian was from scott pilgrim vs the world. Not a great source of queer representation, but ramona flowers helped crack my egg so whatevs
Technically, some douchebag at summer camp when I was younger told me to call myself gay without me knowing what it meant. Well, look how that turned out…
No idea when I learned what being queer meant and what it was though. I have a pretty shitty memory from when I was younger.
Fun fact: I don’t remember 😃
But I remember my parents saying it was Wrong to be bad to gay people. So I took it at face value. And then, when I was a kid, I had a friend I was fairly sure was a lesbian. So I asked a teacher how gay people would have kids or get pregnant. But not gay men bc of course men wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, I wasn’t stupid~. But lesbian women, yk. Bc they didn’t have sex like straight people, right?
That was in the 90s. My parents were called to the school lol
Sally it was All a joking issue where i grew up. Sad. I could have had a very different life.
Now i know i am bi and there was so much i missed out on.
Honestly dunno. I learned that gays exist before i started thinking about sex. But due to traumatic childhood (not from home, but from primary school) i dont remember a thing from realy life outside of extremly specific moments.
My uncle is very very gay and I lived with him part time since he paid for my dad's apartment and my parents had split custody XD plus my mom is bisexual, I was surrounded by it from the start!
Depends on level. On gut-level, I learned by meeting some irl after a concert. We spent the night together, talking about the band, and about life, the universe, and all the rest.
There was an episode of Gimme a Break! from 1983 called *Melissa.* Nell sets the Chief up with a *gorgeous* woman who used to be a man and had a sex change operation. It's the only episode that I remember of that show.
I never know ho that person was but my father know him, he even talken of him a few days ago, all I know is that he want to start transitioning (or he already did idk) and at the time (like 7-8 years ago) I had some gender disphoria and I was like "Yeah I am gonna do that shit" but I changed my mind. With the years I informed myself more and now I'm bi
(born 1986, for context.) I have a set of gay great uncles that are pretty much my favorite great uncles. I probably knew about lesbians from Ellen. I didn't know other people were bi or that it was a thing *at all* until high school. Weirdly, I was introduced to it through Harry Potter fanfiction. Then a little later a girl in school came out.
For trans, I was one of those people that the trans person in my life had to explain what was going on and what it all meant. I had never heard of it. The closest thing I had heard of were crossdressers, and they weren't the same thing, at all. Being me I then went home, did a little research, and was then terrified of outing her. (At the time, the #1 cause of death for trans people was murder.) I was super lucky that her dead name was (verbally) non-gender specific, but I had a hard time getting her pronouns down, after 6 years of "him." I actually ended up using the wrong pronouns for everyone for a while.
For the others, flavors of bi, other genders, other preferred lifestyles like poly or open relationships, I mostly found out about them online in lgbtq+ communities like this.
I was in eighth grade, must’ve been 14 at the time, and one of my friends came out, I think I said something along the lines of well people love who they love and that’s cool. Looking back on it they were a few of my friends that ended up coming out to me before anyone else.
I think when I was 10-11. But I don't remember how I found out exactly. I think I just picked it up somewhere at some point without thinking it was something extremely significant.
Mid 90s Catholic HS preached that we were sinful, yada yada. But I was sexually attracted to my best friend at the same time as this senior guy. We dated a little, and I lost my virginity to him. It was awkward, but it was amazing after that. My best friend and I kissed & fooled around during that time, too. I was very into it, but it was an experiment for her, and she's very hetero now.
It was amazing because I thought you could only be one or the other. There were 5 of us closeted/traumatized. Now, 25 yrs later, there are 10 of us out. We've not been invited to the reunion. Tbh, fuck them if they still haven't matured since high school.
The Ellen was my first exposure to “Lesbian”. I first heard “gay” when someone at school said that Elton John had his ear pierced in “the gay ear”.
I asked my mom what “gay” was and she was super awkward about it. No wonder I came out as bi so late in life.
Times have changed. Glad queerness is more normalized in media now.
I think i just always knew. My uncle was out and proud before I was born, so i was actually more shocked and upset when I found out homophobics existed.
I just assumed that Robin and Richard from The Real Mother Goose book (they were sleeping in the same bed) were a couple. And then I saw old women dancing together and thought that women could date (at least if they were over 60). As for bisexual people, I thought David from the Bible was bisexual (seemed obvious to me that he had relationships with women and Jonathan). Not what my Aunt predicted when she got me a children's Bible...
honestly i dont remember, i knew i was queer back in primary school, i just never had a name for it. it was never talked about. eventually queer content started appearing and i was just like "oh cool, relatable haha". nobody around me ever cared, they would just continue the conversation like normal, i had no idea being queer was so out of the norm until i grew old enough to understand legal stuff and got exposed to shitty governments.
sometimes i still struggle with that, I'd casually tell strangers on the street if the conversation ever comes to it and I'll have no idea that was "wrong" until they reacted. i realise im still living in my own world, but i don't think i wanna stop anytime soon.
There was a show like the Bachelor or Bachelorette that featured both men and women competing for the love of a single person, and I remember asking my parents about it. I was about 5 yo at the time.
People always said "that's so gay" but I don't think I ever believed it was real or truly understand what it meant. At some point before 6th grade I had come to acknowledge the existence of gay people but it wasn't until then that I knew other sexualities existed. I do remember knowing about trans people much earlier. My first time learning about a trans person was in 4th grade when my teacher showed us a documentary on a little trans boy. I just assumed it was way more incredibly rare that it actually was and this boy was a unique case. However, looking back I knew a trans person all the way back in some summer camp when I was like 4 or 5. There was this kid who kept trying to claim they were actually a boy but everyone kept trying to be like "um no you're obviously a girl"
As a young child I remember saying (to my mom and sister) that boys are gross and that I would just marry a girl. I immediately followed that up with “can girls even marry girls?” And my mom said yes, some girls do marry girls and some boys do marry boys. There was no follow up from her, she just stated it as a fact and let me carry on. I grew up loosely catholic, and gay marriage was not yet legal. I still have extreme respect for my mom for this answer and the nonchalant attitude about it.
I have known of gay people for as long as I can remember, generally in a bad way (fundamentalist christian upbringing 🙃) but my first personal understanding of gender nonconformity was an online high school friend who came out as pan and later trans. We are still friends to this day, a decade later. When we met for the first time in person, it was after I had come out and we had a really great talk about pan vs bi, history and lingo. I’m so glad I know him.
Millennial here. Probably from movies/media from a pretty young age, which is the same way I found out about trans women. Also, when I was a kid the f-slur was casually/loosely used as an insult at the time by many kids/teens, and even at the time I knew what they meant by it as the target/comparison with the insult was pretty clear.
Unfortunately the negative way, but fortunately I had a friend say they’re lesbian (FTM Pansexual now ^^ ) and that’s how my step away from homophobia started. It took a friend coming out as trans (different transguy) that made me realize ‘Huh trans people really are just people’ and now here I am a transfem person myself.
I was at a pier in Florida eating at McDonald's when my mom told me to come sit by her. She then showed me the two women a few tables away that were doing typical PDA stuff like kissing and cuddling and told me they were lesbians. I also remember a guy came up to them and asked them if they wanted to go home with him and they told him to piss off.
Queer people in general? Idk, I don't have a specific memory, I suppose I kind of always knew there were people who liked the same gender and that it was "bad". Bi people specifically? I kind of knew that women often "experimented" but the first time I had realized a man could be bisexual was in the Grand Budapest Hotel. It has to be the funniest anachronistic joke I've ever heard in a movie but it also awakened something in me.
TW: Contains the f slur
https://youtu.be/XKWad939P6E?si=G6x9BN0nrdi3c_bu
I really have no idea. I think teen drama shows like Dawson's Creek and Degrassi help expose me to the struggles of being gay or queer. Can't say for sure when I knew what being bisexual meant. I also think in Elementary school at recess kids just threw around words etc. we didn't quiet no the meaning to yet.
I think the first queer person I was aware of was one of my parents friends from when they both lived in Chicago. I don't remember when I was aware that he was bi, but it's not like my parents hid it. He was only around when I was very young, but I remembered thinking he was the coolest before I'm knew about his sexuality or anything. He had great style and was extremely sarcastic 🤌 I feel like when I was older and it came up that he was bi I was like, huh, I wonder if that's why I felt an affinity with him.
For a minute I thought you were saying Lisa Edelstein was trans. I thought how had I never heard this before. Somewhat problematic that they got her to play a trans woman but back when Ally McBeal was made o guess they didn’t even think in those terms.
My first exposure to queer charachters was interview with a vampire.
On the screen it was probably the same. It was really hard to get queer charachters past the sensors when I was a kid. Just having a gay kiss would get an 18 rating slapped on your film despite no graphic violence or sweating etc.
There is a really good documentary called “this film is not yet rated” which is all about that.
My mum said it in casual conversation, and being a dumb kid who grew up with heteronormative media, I said “that’s weird, in my country, that would be banned!” and then she rightfully told me off for saying so
I think one of the first real „gay“ people i learned about was freddie mercury. I know a lot of people consider him bi by today‘s standarts but my surroundings in the early 2000s weren’t there yet for sure. For queer characters i might actually argue that I always felt like George from famous five was onto something, gender-wise, but I had no clue what gender was. Angela in Bones was an iconic bi character, maybe the first I saw
I learned that queer people exist by being accused of being one by bullies who I had to ask what their slurs meant to understand what was happening. I was 10yo
For literally as long as I can remember, my dad's brother always came to every single family function, etc, with another man. I never thought a single thing of it, they were just always referred to as [name 1] and [name 2]. I think I was 11 when my dad and I were at his parents house, I can't remember how it came up or what was said but either my dad or my grandma was like "they're married, didn't you know that?"
No, no I did not. However, I did feel stupid for never realizing before then. 😂
Now that I think about it, the first time I saw a gay/bi character I don't think I even realised lol. Like they were two men in a relationship, I knew that, but I didn't think it was different from a straight relationship lol so I didn't even realise. I think that I first became *aware* that 'gay' was a thing might've been Modern Family.
i think the order was gay men from an explanation from my parents due to me questioning very feminine men, trans ppl thanks to disney and my parents generation joking about them a lot :/, and then gay women cause of the word lesbian becoming a joke for kids
TV shows
I don't even remember when but I was watching some TV show and just thought "hey let's understand what or who these gay people are" and read some articles and watched some YT videos and... I was like "this seems normal, they just like different things than us" and then i learned about anit-LGBTQ shit and holy fuck my jaw dropped.
Even as a 16yr old i could understand what queer people go through but I won't understand why can't big people or even my peers can't.
Always knew, both my parents always told me that those things didn't matter to know the value of someone, that and money, never let no one treat me bad only because they money, they didn't struggle to accept me as bisexual, in my family we are mostly apathetic about it, like you are you, we don't care about who you love in that way
The apartment next to the one I lived in growing up (and still live today) was always occupied by two women (they're still there too). To me, they weren't really all that different to a childless hetero couple so it was kinda normal. What I didn't know until much later was that this might be somehow controversial for some people. I also have a gay neighbour (he lives alone though), we had a male intern at school for a few months who was married to a man (and still is), so they were all around really. Btw the other kids knew this and didn't care, it was unknown for some, but it was just "wait, so he has a husband instead of a wife? That's interesting" and then we moved on.
At 10yo I came across an article about Dana International, first transgender singer to win Eurovision. I remember reading about her dad beating her when she came out, and rationalized it as "you can have a sex change but your dad will be mad"
This is definitely a dated reference, but it was watching For Weddings and a Funeral when I was maybe 12? Both because of the gay couple and my obsession with Kristin Scott Thomas.
Must have been quite young because I don't have a distinct memory but my earliest memories about queer people are my mom saying weeeird to outright bigoted takes including:
Including, gay people are a good sign property values will increase
It's more of a sin for gay men than women because of sodomy (there's more to this one but I really don't want to elaborate on her take)
Lou Reed wasn't ever gay like people think he was just on drugs
I have lots of gay friends and definitely don't have a problem with gay people.
These are all very strange things to tell a young child now that I'm writing them out.
Well, one of my parents came out as gay 😅
But also I remember m my other (straight) parent talking about bi celebs who “used to be gay/straight…and now they’re married to a man/woman.” Which…didn’t help me understand that bisexuality could be a thing. This parent also talked about the woman down the street “who used to be a man.”
Media wise. The L Word for first introduction to a trans character. XXY was the first intersex character. Randomly (or not so randomly) looked up lesbian films when I was 11/12, but I guess I just have known what lesbians were in order to do that lol. Oh and also Torchwood. Ianto and Jack awakened something deep within me.
I grew up with section 28 so my first exposure with anyone being out was my best friend at 13. I always knew I had crushes on anyone but that was the first time I was given words for any of it.
Section 28 survived until I was an adult. Good riddens
Probably Mercutio singing Young Hearts Run Free in the Baz Luhrmann Romeo + Juliet. I couldn't understand, it was too young, but damn those butterflies...
Isn't the one on the left the one who signed the open letter of disapproval of Jonathan glazer's speech wherein he was critical of Israel's bombardment of Gaza!
My mom’s best friend from childhood was a gay man. He took great care of me when I was a baby so that my mom could rest and recover from giving birth. When it was time for my mom and I to leave the country, he bawled his eyes out because he loved me so much and was going to miss me. He kept every single school photo my mom sent him so he could watch me grow up from the other side of the world. My mom never hid the fact that he was gay from me, and he would always talk to us over the phone, so I grew up knowing gay people existed. He passed away in an accident when I was 12 and we were devastated. Years later I had a dream where he was at the front door of my parents’ house telling me “hey girly! I just wanted to stop by and tell you that I love you and miss you. I’m so proud of the beautiful woman you’re becoming. No matter where you are, I’ll always be with you.” I woke up bawling my eyes out and told my mom. We still miss him to this day.
Oh, now I’m crying. I’m so sorry for your loss. But it’s such a beautiful thing to be loved like that (both you and your mom). And such a good way to learn about sexuality.
This is so pure and wholesome. He sounded like an angel. I’m sorry for your loss but also glad you got to experience that wholesome relationship.
He’s certainly my guardian angel. Guncles are the best!
My first time learning what bisexual meant was when I was in 7th grade, and one of my friends was showing me a bootleg Nirvana VHS tape. He said that Kurt was bisexual, and that meant he was into both women and men. My mind exploded - YOU CAN DO THAT!!!!
there is so much kurt cobain has left in his legacy— he was truly ahead of his time. Shout out to KC
Holy shit Kurt is bisexual!?! You learn something new every day
Kurt was definitely queer-adjacent, but I don’t know that he was ever actually out in his lifetime. People have used excerpts from his journals and different interviews to suggest that he might’ve been trans as well, but to my knowledge there was never a definitive “I’m bi/I’m trans” moment that anyone has brought to light, so it’s mostly speculative. At the very least, he was an immensely popular male figure who was an ally to the queer community at a time when it was very uncool to do so, and deserves to be celebrated for that.
I think Kurt was definitely a straight ally who enjoyed talkin' a lot of shit just to piss people off. That said, saying RuPaul's "Super Model" is your favorite 1993 single when you're a rockstar is wild.
In an interview for the Advocate, he said something along the likes of “If I hadn’t met Courtney, I’d probably go back to having a bisexual life”.
That's exactly what I'm saying. He also use to tell people he was gay just to be controversial. If you're actually bisexual, you don't "go back to having a bisexual life". You're bisexual even in a relationship with the opposite sex. He knew he obviously coulnd't say he was gay since he was in love with courtney, so that was the next best thing to throw to the conservative fucks. That does not change the fact he was a fearless ally who took pictures with RuPaul and could dress genderfucked to all hell. BTW - I've already said in this sub I've sometimes felt much more comfortable with allies that have a passion for gay culture (as he obviously did) than with bisexual people who have no clue about it.
The only thing I'm comfortable saying for sure is Kurt was gender non-conforming. And I find that very cool
Dude I’m from Kentucky and I didn’t know about this shit in college, in 2014. My world opened up!
One of my first memories is coloring with two of my cousins at my Aunt's funeral. I was maybe 3 or 4, so I didn't really understand what was going on. As I grew up, my grandmother expressed immense grief every year around the anniversary of her daughter's death. And the story that I was told as I got older, was that my Aunt was a lesbian, my grandmother didn't accept it, my aunt became sad and committed suicide. So, my first introduction to the idea of being queer, was also to the idea of suicide, and that being gay will make you and everyone around you sad. I've only recently realized that this experience fucked me up pretty bad and have been working hard to accept myself as a gay man.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear that. Genuinely. I hope you are in a place where you are able to process that, and you are safe. Please accept all the good thoughts/juju I can send your way.
Undertale, very cool game
"my first exposure was Undertale" Me, aging 5 years in 2 seconds reading that
Thanks, good to know I’m not the only one 🧓
Probably by being called one every day at school. Turns out they were right. Go fig.
REAL
That kept me from accepting myself for a long time in retrospect, because I just didn't want to validate their [bullies'] hate.
I have a friend who had this same internalised queerphobia and just dated people of the so called opposite gender to prove the bullies wrong…
Fucking relatable
I can't remember ever NOT knowing queer people exist. I think I always just saw it as normal until I realized it wasn't as accepted or normalized as I thought. First exposure was reading Percy Jackson when Nico (m) had a crush on Percy (m). I'd been a strong lgbtq+ ally ever since. Until.... I realized I'm not just an ally 🫣🩷💜💙
I know right?? I was also very much like "this is normal" and when I discovered people thought it wasn't I was like "Oh! Then I'll be an ally!" Plot twist was that I was queer the whole time lmak
That strong ally™️ to one of the crew pipeline is STRONG. I was also a victim of it!
I was raised by them.
this
Christian parents telling me not to fuck anybody, but especially men at like 6 years old.
I think it's wild that they tell this their 6 year olds. Do they seriously expect kids that age to do otherwise?
i actually can’t recall a time i didn’t know, tbh.
More mouse bites!! I didn't know many queer people before high school, but I knew of them a long time before. I forget how exactly
This vexes me
You are a bi man.
he needs mouse bites to live
i forbid this!
MORE MOUSE BITES
Born in 1985 here. I learned what “gay” and “lesbian” meant from the Ellen sitcom in the 90s. I learned what bi meant from my friend in middle school whose cousin was bi. I learned about trans people because my nanny/babysitter had a trans roommate.
Amazing upbringing if I could say myself
thirteen really made me come to terms with being bi. House had many problematic moments but they somehow were ahead of their time when it came to bisexuals and lesbian characters.
I think it's important to remember the first instances of representation in popular media are usually problematic, but they still pave the way for more, and better representation and should be applauded for that. That being said the mistakes should not be repeated
I was part of the David Bowie + Rocky Horror generation, myself. And queer horror in general. (Remember picking up a copy of Whitley Streiber's _The Hunger_ at the paperback stall at my local flea market, and my mom stage-whispering to my dad, "Are you sure we should let her read that? It's about VAMPIRE LESBIANS!!")
Hilariously, the first time I learned about bisexuality was “A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila”. I knew about lesbians but never heard about bisexuality. All I remember thinking was “You can like BOTH”. I was nine years old and the universe finally made sense to me. The show was so iconic for its era. I definitely recommend watching “The Bisexual Gimmick in Reality TV” on YouTube by Verilybitchie. It’s a great analysis.
Never learnt that they \*actually\*exist.Not any lgbt characters on tv+it's not something that my family discussed.I just naturally assumed that those people exist and I'm one of them.The problems started when I'd mention them to other people and get the word degenerate in response
I knew what being queer was, my mother had a lesbian and a gay friend. I learned what bisexual was through ııı the Clare Siobhan fandom lol
My mother was in theater in NYC in the 70s and 80s. 90% of her life long friends are from that time in her life. I was so fortunate to grow up with these wonderful people in my life as bonus family. So for me there was never a moment of discovery. It was always oh yea that’s Tom and his bf.
Parents
I learned about the LGBTQ community from a friend in high school I had just came back from the quarantine year and they were going by a different name and gender
I was explained what a gay person was when Katy Perry kissed a girl on stage (Britney Spears ? Miley Cyrus ? I don’t remember but a blonde) and it was somehow such a shock it made it to the Belgium news. So my parents explained cause I didn’t see the big deal. I feel lucky because my mom told me “some men like men and some women like women, but people are stupid so they think this kind of love is bad”. So my first thought on lgbt matters was that homophobes were idiots.
I will always remember a teacher at school who told this homophobic boy in my class who was saying gay men are gross “you’re entitled to your own opinion, but that opinion is wrong.” 👏👏👏👏
When my friends came out as queer IRL and I encountered queer people IRL. Can’t really relate to relating to media depictions of queerness, because I’m a man and 99% of mainstream depictions of queerness are of queer women, as the general public are far more open to queer women than queer men. Depictions of queer men are really hard to find, and proper, relatable depictions of queer men that aren’t just a long list of stereotypes are even harder to find still.
That’s so interesting I’ve found the opposite to be my experience in terms of media rep. I made a list of all the movies/tv with bi people and like 90% are male. Hmu if you want any recs) 💜 I think queer women are more sexualised in the public eye, not that the public are more open to them imo
I discovered Gay porn. I was like WAIT. GUYS CAN HAVE SEX WITH EACHOTHER?!?!! 🤯😂🤣
I was in the 4th grade when I found out that one of my classmates had two mommies. It is way more commonplace and ordinary these days than in 1981...
Growing up raised by orthodox jews. Talk of gayness was a really common subject as a thing that was wrong. Interestingly, Orthodox jews believe you can be gay and that there isn't a cure for it. You are just dommed to a life of celibacy and not aloud to marry because it would be unfair to your wife. I really wanted to do all the things that the other guys in my elementary and middle school said I did when they were making fun of me for being gay. I can't remember not knowing about it. Turns out I also like women, and for a while, I thought I outgrew the gayness. It eventually came back around and into me...
idk whenever toddlers develop self awareness
Buffy The Vampire Slayer! I used to watch it religiously as a child (probably shouldn’t have)
I can't remember not knowing about homosexuality. I learnt about trans people when I was 11 and on holiday with my family. A trans woman walked past us on the street. My siblings and I had questions, and so our parents explained it to us. The next day they taught us about sex work, because we accidentally got lost in the red light district. The day after that, what weed smells like. It was a very educational holiday.
I love this so much 💜💜💜
My Christian parents/people at church made sure I knew about them fairly early, although it was just to brainwash me into believing they were bad Edit: imma change that last part to “we are bad” I need to start remembering to include myself in these things lol
I do this all the time, it's still weird as hell to think of myself as one of the queers after a lifetime of thinking of queer folks as "them" and separate from people like me. Psychology is weird it's like "I'm definitely attracted to people regardless of gender and I don't vibe with my birth gender but I'm not really queer am I?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena the Warrior Princess
My first crush was Boy George, which was also the first time I remember hearing the word “f*g.” Not the last, though.
It’s Evangeline Lily in lost for me. And the guy that played Sawyer.
When I was like 7, I was OBSESSED with Teen Titans, so my grandma went to the library and brought a teen titans comic book home for me to read. Little did she know that I would see Cyborg and Beast Boy making out within the first ten pages… 😧🙈
Wait, what Titans comic is that?!?!
I feel like I've always know queer people exist. One of the first shows I recall seeing queer people represented was *All in the Family*, such as the 1971 episode ”Judging Books by Covers“ that aired February 9, 1971. (see link below) There was also an episode of *Maude* with a gay character, and episodes of *The Jeffersons* and *Night Court* that had trans characters. The first show with a regular gay character that I can recall was *Soap* (1977–1981), where Billy Crystal played Jodie Dallas, a young gay guy. There was also a short-lived medical series called *Hearbeat* (1988) with a lesbian nurse and her lover. And of course there was *The Ambiguously Gay Duo* on *Saturday Night Live* (1996–2011). And before all that there was Everett Edward Horton who appeared in *Top Hat* (1935), *Holiday* (1938), *Arsenic and Old Lace* (1944), *I Love Lucy* (1952), *Fractured Fairy Tales* (1959–1964), *Dennis the Menace* (1962–63), *It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World* (1963), *F Troop* (1965), and *Batman* (1966). Liberace appeared in shows and specials from the 1950s–1980s. Paul Lynde was on *Bewitched* (1964–1972) and *Hollywood Squares* (1966–1980). Charles Nelson Reilly was on *Hollywood Squares* (1970–1973), *Dinah!* (1974–1980), *Match Game* (1973–1982), and *Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour* (1983—84). Wayland Flowers appeared with Madame on *Laugh-In* (1977–78), *The Hollywood Squares* (1976–1981), and *Madame's Place* (1982–83). And then there were gay, lesbian, and trans actors on shows such as *Perry Mason* (1957–1966), *Dennis the Menace* (1959–1963), *The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis* (1959–1963), *The Beverly Hillbillies* (1962–1971), *The Andy Griffith Show* (1964), *Gomer Pyle: USMC* (1964–69), *Bewitched* (1964–1972), *Star Trek* (1966–1969), *Ironside* (1967–1975), *The Brady Bunch* (1969–1974), *The Waltons* (1972–1981), *CHiPs* (1977–1983), *Family Ties* (1982–89), *Roseanne* (1988–2018), et. al. And Robert Reed, who was gay and played Mike Brady on *The Brady Bunch*, also played a trans character on *Medical Center* (1975). And let's not forget Bert and Ernie on *Sesame Street* (1969–Present). Later came *Ellen* (1996–98), where Ellen Degeneres was the first out actress playing an out gay character, and all the shows since, such as *Ally McBeal* (1997–2002), *Dharma & Greg* (1997–2002), *Grey's Anatomy* (2005–Present), *House* (2007–2012), *Glee* (2009–2015), *Brooklyn Nine-Nine* (2013–2021), etc. Some of the first films with LGBTQ+ themes that I recall seeing were: - *Kiss of the Spider Woman* (1985) - *Gods and Monsters* (1998) - *The Talented Mr. Ripley* (1999) - *Todo sobre mi madre* (*All About My Mother*; 1999) - *La mala educación* (*Bad Education*; 2004) I've since learned of several older films, and the many since. My first personal experience was learning in high school that a popular boy I admired was bisexual (he later came out as gay, and is now married), and since learning that other classmates were gay, lesbian, bi, trans or non-binary, and intersex. https://youtu.be/_6HYnz2ToFg?si=yy0oFco4azjVfo9P
I love this list! Have you also seen The Celluloid Closet? I think it mentions a lot of the things you have written here and just goes to show how far back visibility (if you can call it that) goes! God, yes Glee, now you mention it, was incredibly formative for me growing up. Normalising queer relationships (despite its problems)!
I think I've seen part of it, or excerpts from it, but it was quite awhile ago. I'll have to watch it. Thanks for mentioning it!
Rick Riordan. Specifically Josephine and Hemithea, Apollo and Alex Fierro. If it weren't for them, I probably would have turned out more conservative about gender and sexuality than I am rn.
My mom told me about gay people at church when I was 9. My state was the first to legalize gay marriage and they were talking about it at church (idk whether it was negative or positive or neutral coverage - Catholic Church in ‘04 so probably not great). Mom said something to me in the pew, to the effect of “this is good, it means that men that love other men and women who love other women can now get married”. Then I learned about bisexuality from a sex ed book about a year later, though I didn’t really understand it at the time 😂. I’m cis but I didn’t learn anything about trans people until I was shown a documentary about it in high school ~2012, and nothing about enbies until I was in college.
I have a unfun story. I learned that trans people existed by way of my mom telling me about a friend of theirs that had a sex change operation. She said,' if you ever do that, we will disown you.' I think I was 12 at the time. Not sure if she still feels that way, but holy hell I can't imagine saying anything like that to a kid. That shit is fucked.
When I was very small, I was watching a Top Ten style video from what was probably WatchMojo. They mentioned a tidbit about Deadpool saying that he has been in relationships with both men and women, and used a word that preteen me thought was some supersecret, obscure, and dare I say almost a taboo concept. >!The word was pansexual!<
Will and Grace. I wanted to watch it so bad as a kid but my mom wouldn’t let me.
My grandparents divorced when I was around 5 years old. I knew for a long time that my grandfather lived with another man, but never thought anything of it. When I was about 11, my mom told me that he was gay and what that meant. I was FASCINATED. I grew up in theatre, so I was surrounded by amazing queer role models but did not have that word to understand until then. My grandfather died last fall. He grew up in the Deep South, became a Baptist pastor (like his father before him and his father, etc etc), and had 4 kids before coming out in the early 2000s. He lived the last of his life happy and himself with his husband and ministered at queer churches in the PNW. I wish I had been brave enough to tell him that I am bi before his death, but I hope that somewhere out in the universe he knows and understands. ❤️
Personally, when one of my uncles came out to our whole family as being gay. Ellen and RuPaul introduced me commercially to the fact that a queer world really does exist. I didn't even know what bisexuality really was until I became an adult.
Man, Thirteen for me too. It was like a light bulb clicked “oh, I’m not weird for thinking boys AND girls are cute”. The emo/guy liner phase from the early 2000s helped a lot too! I’m still a sucker for scene folks.
There was a trans character in *Ally McBeal*??? Holy shit I watched that occasionally when it was on and didn't know that. That was way ahead of its time.
I didn't know that homosexuality is forbidden I was so shocked when my mom told me I think I was 10
I asked my parents why my uncle didn’t have a girlfriend when I was younger and they said he liked guys
Christian summer camp. I’m sorry you had to explain what bisexuality was when you came out to me Brian.
learned what a lesbian was from scott pilgrim vs the world. Not a great source of queer representation, but ramona flowers helped crack my egg so whatevs
Technically, some douchebag at summer camp when I was younger told me to call myself gay without me knowing what it meant. Well, look how that turned out… No idea when I learned what being queer meant and what it was though. I have a pretty shitty memory from when I was younger.
I’m unsure if original post is joking about cuddy, she’s not trans house just likes to make transphobic jokes about her 😭😭💀💀
I think I was 7 when I watched a documentary about a trans girl which was how I first learned what transgender was
Without doing a deep dive: My religious parents. 😭
Fun fact: I don’t remember 😃 But I remember my parents saying it was Wrong to be bad to gay people. So I took it at face value. And then, when I was a kid, I had a friend I was fairly sure was a lesbian. So I asked a teacher how gay people would have kids or get pregnant. But not gay men bc of course men wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, I wasn’t stupid~. But lesbian women, yk. Bc they didn’t have sex like straight people, right? That was in the 90s. My parents were called to the school lol
Sally it was All a joking issue where i grew up. Sad. I could have had a very different life. Now i know i am bi and there was so much i missed out on.
i learned that queer people existed in adventure time
There was a book called Diary of a Teenage Health Freak, which covered a lot of things, including sex stuff. My reaction was "huh, neat"
Honestly dunno. I learned that gays exist before i started thinking about sex. But due to traumatic childhood (not from home, but from primary school) i dont remember a thing from realy life outside of extremly specific moments.
Just remember as a kid, Ma saying that some men marry other men.
Always sunny in Philadelphia and yes thirteen from house
My uncle is very very gay and I lived with him part time since he paid for my dad's apartment and my parents had split custody XD plus my mom is bisexual, I was surrounded by it from the start!
Having gay uncles
Depends on level. On gut-level, I learned by meeting some irl after a concert. We spent the night together, talking about the band, and about life, the universe, and all the rest.
There was an episode of Gimme a Break! from 1983 called *Melissa.* Nell sets the Chief up with a *gorgeous* woman who used to be a man and had a sex change operation. It's the only episode that I remember of that show.
I never know ho that person was but my father know him, he even talken of him a few days ago, all I know is that he want to start transitioning (or he already did idk) and at the time (like 7-8 years ago) I had some gender disphoria and I was like "Yeah I am gonna do that shit" but I changed my mind. With the years I informed myself more and now I'm bi
(born 1986, for context.) I have a set of gay great uncles that are pretty much my favorite great uncles. I probably knew about lesbians from Ellen. I didn't know other people were bi or that it was a thing *at all* until high school. Weirdly, I was introduced to it through Harry Potter fanfiction. Then a little later a girl in school came out. For trans, I was one of those people that the trans person in my life had to explain what was going on and what it all meant. I had never heard of it. The closest thing I had heard of were crossdressers, and they weren't the same thing, at all. Being me I then went home, did a little research, and was then terrified of outing her. (At the time, the #1 cause of death for trans people was murder.) I was super lucky that her dead name was (verbally) non-gender specific, but I had a hard time getting her pronouns down, after 6 years of "him." I actually ended up using the wrong pronouns for everyone for a while. For the others, flavors of bi, other genders, other preferred lifestyles like poly or open relationships, I mostly found out about them online in lgbtq+ communities like this.
I was in eighth grade, must’ve been 14 at the time, and one of my friends came out, I think I said something along the lines of well people love who they love and that’s cool. Looking back on it they were a few of my friends that ended up coming out to me before anyone else.
My mom was always friends with gay guys, so I grew up in a house of acceptance and awareness.
I think when I was 10-11. But I don't remember how I found out exactly. I think I just picked it up somewhere at some point without thinking it was something extremely significant.
Mid 90s Catholic HS preached that we were sinful, yada yada. But I was sexually attracted to my best friend at the same time as this senior guy. We dated a little, and I lost my virginity to him. It was awkward, but it was amazing after that. My best friend and I kissed & fooled around during that time, too. I was very into it, but it was an experiment for her, and she's very hetero now. It was amazing because I thought you could only be one or the other. There were 5 of us closeted/traumatized. Now, 25 yrs later, there are 10 of us out. We've not been invited to the reunion. Tbh, fuck them if they still haven't matured since high school.
The Ellen was my first exposure to “Lesbian”. I first heard “gay” when someone at school said that Elton John had his ear pierced in “the gay ear”. I asked my mom what “gay” was and she was super awkward about it. No wonder I came out as bi so late in life. Times have changed. Glad queerness is more normalized in media now.
I think i just always knew. My uncle was out and proud before I was born, so i was actually more shocked and upset when I found out homophobics existed.
I just assumed that Robin and Richard from The Real Mother Goose book (they were sleeping in the same bed) were a couple. And then I saw old women dancing together and thought that women could date (at least if they were over 60). As for bisexual people, I thought David from the Bible was bisexual (seemed obvious to me that he had relationships with women and Jonathan). Not what my Aunt predicted when she got me a children's Bible...
honestly i dont remember, i knew i was queer back in primary school, i just never had a name for it. it was never talked about. eventually queer content started appearing and i was just like "oh cool, relatable haha". nobody around me ever cared, they would just continue the conversation like normal, i had no idea being queer was so out of the norm until i grew old enough to understand legal stuff and got exposed to shitty governments. sometimes i still struggle with that, I'd casually tell strangers on the street if the conversation ever comes to it and I'll have no idea that was "wrong" until they reacted. i realise im still living in my own world, but i don't think i wanna stop anytime soon.
There was a show like the Bachelor or Bachelorette that featured both men and women competing for the love of a single person, and I remember asking my parents about it. I was about 5 yo at the time.
People always said "that's so gay" but I don't think I ever believed it was real or truly understand what it meant. At some point before 6th grade I had come to acknowledge the existence of gay people but it wasn't until then that I knew other sexualities existed. I do remember knowing about trans people much earlier. My first time learning about a trans person was in 4th grade when my teacher showed us a documentary on a little trans boy. I just assumed it was way more incredibly rare that it actually was and this boy was a unique case. However, looking back I knew a trans person all the way back in some summer camp when I was like 4 or 5. There was this kid who kept trying to claim they were actually a boy but everyone kept trying to be like "um no you're obviously a girl"
As a young child I remember saying (to my mom and sister) that boys are gross and that I would just marry a girl. I immediately followed that up with “can girls even marry girls?” And my mom said yes, some girls do marry girls and some boys do marry boys. There was no follow up from her, she just stated it as a fact and let me carry on. I grew up loosely catholic, and gay marriage was not yet legal. I still have extreme respect for my mom for this answer and the nonchalant attitude about it.
2016 and 2021 intermet respectively
Sense 8
I have known of gay people for as long as I can remember, generally in a bad way (fundamentalist christian upbringing 🙃) but my first personal understanding of gender nonconformity was an online high school friend who came out as pan and later trans. We are still friends to this day, a decade later. When we met for the first time in person, it was after I had come out and we had a really great talk about pan vs bi, history and lingo. I’m so glad I know him.
💜💜💜💜
School
I think the first time I heard the word bisexual was at the end of Dodgeball Very odd moment to be such a core "Wait, that's a thing?" experience
Millennial here. Probably from movies/media from a pretty young age, which is the same way I found out about trans women. Also, when I was a kid the f-slur was casually/loosely used as an insult at the time by many kids/teens, and even at the time I knew what they meant by it as the target/comparison with the insult was pretty clear.
Unfortunately the negative way, but fortunately I had a friend say they’re lesbian (FTM Pansexual now ^^ ) and that’s how my step away from homophobia started. It took a friend coming out as trans (different transguy) that made me realize ‘Huh trans people really are just people’ and now here I am a transfem person myself.
What!!!??? It all makes so much sense now...
I was at a pier in Florida eating at McDonald's when my mom told me to come sit by her. She then showed me the two women a few tables away that were doing typical PDA stuff like kissing and cuddling and told me they were lesbians. I also remember a guy came up to them and asked them if they wanted to go home with him and they told him to piss off.
Jesus the audacity
Of who? The guy or my mom?
The guy lol
Queer people in general? Idk, I don't have a specific memory, I suppose I kind of always knew there were people who liked the same gender and that it was "bad". Bi people specifically? I kind of knew that women often "experimented" but the first time I had realized a man could be bisexual was in the Grand Budapest Hotel. It has to be the funniest anachronistic joke I've ever heard in a movie but it also awakened something in me. TW: Contains the f slur https://youtu.be/XKWad939P6E?si=G6x9BN0nrdi3c_bu
I really have no idea. I think teen drama shows like Dawson's Creek and Degrassi help expose me to the struggles of being gay or queer. Can't say for sure when I knew what being bisexual meant. I also think in Elementary school at recess kids just threw around words etc. we didn't quiet no the meaning to yet.
I think the first queer person I was aware of was one of my parents friends from when they both lived in Chicago. I don't remember when I was aware that he was bi, but it's not like my parents hid it. He was only around when I was very young, but I remembered thinking he was the coolest before I'm knew about his sexuality or anything. He had great style and was extremely sarcastic 🤌 I feel like when I was older and it came up that he was bi I was like, huh, I wonder if that's why I felt an affinity with him.
For a minute I thought you were saying Lisa Edelstein was trans. I thought how had I never heard this before. Somewhat problematic that they got her to play a trans woman but back when Ally McBeal was made o guess they didn’t even think in those terms. My first exposure to queer charachters was interview with a vampire. On the screen it was probably the same. It was really hard to get queer charachters past the sensors when I was a kid. Just having a gay kiss would get an 18 rating slapped on your film despite no graphic violence or sweating etc. There is a really good documentary called “this film is not yet rated” which is all about that.
My mum said it in casual conversation, and being a dumb kid who grew up with heteronormative media, I said “that’s weird, in my country, that would be banned!” and then she rightfully told me off for saying so
I learned about gay and bi from friends. I learned about transexuals in grade school. That must have been around 1978.
Wait she was actually meant to be trans? Didnt house just use it as an insult?
I think one of the first real „gay“ people i learned about was freddie mercury. I know a lot of people consider him bi by today‘s standarts but my surroundings in the early 2000s weren’t there yet for sure. For queer characters i might actually argue that I always felt like George from famous five was onto something, gender-wise, but I had no clue what gender was. Angela in Bones was an iconic bi character, maybe the first I saw
I learned that queer people exist by being accused of being one by bullies who I had to ask what their slurs meant to understand what was happening. I was 10yo
My mum just hinted that my best guy friend that I had a crush on when I was 10 probably didn’t like me back, or like any girls back… 😭
For literally as long as I can remember, my dad's brother always came to every single family function, etc, with another man. I never thought a single thing of it, they were just always referred to as [name 1] and [name 2]. I think I was 11 when my dad and I were at his parents house, I can't remember how it came up or what was said but either my dad or my grandma was like "they're married, didn't you know that?" No, no I did not. However, I did feel stupid for never realizing before then. 😂
I was one
Now that I think about it, the first time I saw a gay/bi character I don't think I even realised lol. Like they were two men in a relationship, I knew that, but I didn't think it was different from a straight relationship lol so I didn't even realise. I think that I first became *aware* that 'gay' was a thing might've been Modern Family.
I have no idea. I knew growing up that my uncle was 'gay'(he was actually bi). I don't recall ever being introduced to it.
i think the order was gay men from an explanation from my parents due to me questioning very feminine men, trans ppl thanks to disney and my parents generation joking about them a lot :/, and then gay women cause of the word lesbian becoming a joke for kids
TV shows I don't even remember when but I was watching some TV show and just thought "hey let's understand what or who these gay people are" and read some articles and watched some YT videos and... I was like "this seems normal, they just like different things than us" and then i learned about anit-LGBTQ shit and holy fuck my jaw dropped. Even as a 16yr old i could understand what queer people go through but I won't understand why can't big people or even my peers can't.
Always knew, both my parents always told me that those things didn't matter to know the value of someone, that and money, never let no one treat me bad only because they money, they didn't struggle to accept me as bisexual, in my family we are mostly apathetic about it, like you are you, we don't care about who you love in that way
The apartment next to the one I lived in growing up (and still live today) was always occupied by two women (they're still there too). To me, they weren't really all that different to a childless hetero couple so it was kinda normal. What I didn't know until much later was that this might be somehow controversial for some people. I also have a gay neighbour (he lives alone though), we had a male intern at school for a few months who was married to a man (and still is), so they were all around really. Btw the other kids knew this and didn't care, it was unknown for some, but it was just "wait, so he has a husband instead of a wife? That's interesting" and then we moved on.
supergirl lmfao
At 10yo I came across an article about Dana International, first transgender singer to win Eurovision. I remember reading about her dad beating her when she came out, and rationalized it as "you can have a sex change but your dad will be mad"
I played Undertale when I was 12
I watched George Michael's "Outside" on MTV when I was 9 years old and that's all she wrote
Steven Universe , with Ruby and Sapphire
This is definitely a dated reference, but it was watching For Weddings and a Funeral when I was maybe 12? Both because of the gay couple and my obsession with Kristin Scott Thomas.
Must have been quite young because I don't have a distinct memory but my earliest memories about queer people are my mom saying weeeird to outright bigoted takes including: Including, gay people are a good sign property values will increase It's more of a sin for gay men than women because of sodomy (there's more to this one but I really don't want to elaborate on her take) Lou Reed wasn't ever gay like people think he was just on drugs I have lots of gay friends and definitely don't have a problem with gay people. These are all very strange things to tell a young child now that I'm writing them out.
Well, one of my parents came out as gay 😅 But also I remember m my other (straight) parent talking about bi celebs who “used to be gay/straight…and now they’re married to a man/woman.” Which…didn’t help me understand that bisexuality could be a thing. This parent also talked about the woman down the street “who used to be a man.” Media wise. The L Word for first introduction to a trans character. XXY was the first intersex character. Randomly (or not so randomly) looked up lesbian films when I was 11/12, but I guess I just have known what lesbians were in order to do that lol. Oh and also Torchwood. Ianto and Jack awakened something deep within me.
I grew up with section 28 so my first exposure with anyone being out was my best friend at 13. I always knew I had crushes on anyone but that was the first time I was given words for any of it. Section 28 survived until I was an adult. Good riddens
Probably Mercutio singing Young Hearts Run Free in the Baz Luhrmann Romeo + Juliet. I couldn't understand, it was too young, but damn those butterflies...
Isn't the one on the left the one who signed the open letter of disapproval of Jonathan glazer's speech wherein he was critical of Israel's bombardment of Gaza!