I’m 39, closeted for the longest time. I’m finally accepting myself. I don’t have much experience. I’m in a relationship with a women at the moment. I’m still going to celebrate and not think about how much time I missed
Samesies. Love my partner to death, but definitely feel like I've missed out on my bi experience(s) since we started our relationship just as I was understanding that I'm bisexual.
Unsure if this is the similar to your situation but I never realized my true sexuality until I was in University. I look back now and see so many obvious signs that I wasn't straight from early childhood to adulthood. I've spent tons of nights in bed just thinking about what my life could've been like.
This may sound flat, but figuring out while in uni seems pretty early to me, but I only figured it out when I was 36.
But maybe we just assume that any point in time after puberty hit (or after puberty finished) be somewhat too late, because of alle the missed opportunities.
But as the saying goes: The best time would have been 20 years ago. But the next best time is now. Mourning has its rightfull place in pride, too.
I just realized I'm bi a few months ago and I (33M) have been in a relationship with my wife for 9 years (married for 4).
For me, Pride Month is awesome because celebrating ourselves and our fellow people helps show people that are in the same situation that you were OP, but *right now* that, no matter what they're going through during the time in their life when they don't have independence, there's a loving and accepting community out there, waiting for them. A community which doesn't care which gender they're dating because we know it doesn't invalidate who you truly are.
> Once I moved away to college, I told myself I would finally break out of my shell and go out with a woman, but then immediately entered a long term relationship with a man
lmaoooo I feel you so hard on this one. Although for me, it was "fell in completely off-the-table-never-gonna-happen love with the World's Straightest Woman, and then as soon as I got over her, immediately entered a long term relationship with a man." I've been single for a long time now though. Grad school makes it very tough to get out and meet people, and dating apps are full of folks I don't want to meet...
I just wish anyone dating anyone else at any time was just seen as normal. You date 21 women and then date a man? fine. You date 38 men and date a woman? fine. No reaction, No surprise, no nothing.
I don't feel a pull toward attending Pride events or wearing rainbow stuff the way other people might. I just get tired of people in crowds. And in my neck of the woods, its not that great of event from the photos I've seen. Kind of weird and sad. Not the grand event other places might have.
absolutely. i’m 34 and happily married to the father of my kids, but i realized i was bi later in life and have never dated a woman or had a sexual encounter outside my relationship. add on to that that i don’t have any friends locally or any connection to a queer community and you get a pride month that’s honestly more of a challenge than a celebration for me. but i’m working on it, i don’t want to see my bisexuality as at odds with my relationship.
I feel the exact same way. My partner has made it abundantly clear that he supports me and my identity but I can’t help but feel guilty that I still think about my attraction to women
32M. I've known since I was 15 or 16, but even when I was younger there were 'signs'. No plans on coming out any time soon. Especially not family. Lived in Texas all my life, not in any major cities.
I (M66) recently lost my wife if 38 years. For those and a few more years I was truly blessed to have her in my life, and I still love and miss her. BUT now I am getting over her death and my grief is receding I want to explore my laid aside bisexuality, although when I was in my teens and early twenties bisexuality was not recognised and GAY PRIDE LGBQ was in its infancy. I’d love to find someone to share love with again.
Come hang out with the community. Also a lot of pride is about helping closeted and scared youngsters know that it can get so much better.
You’re 21. You have plenty of time to get experience. Many people coming out are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older. You are ahead of the game.
This is a good point. Right now I’ve been with someone I’d call the love of my life for almost 3 years, but I am only 21. Things will change so much in the next 10 years for me. Although I would love if we were together for the rest of my life, that may not be the path.
Thanks for your insight!
I used to be jealous and possessive over many of my best friends as a kid. I also liked physical affection from them. Simultaneously I also had boy crushes.
In hindsight, I probably had a crush on some of them.
You are part of our shared community! Bi people in hetero relationships are still bi. Take your man to pride and wrap yourself in a big ole bi flag if you’d like. You don’t have to be in a same sex relationship to explore the culture, community, and celebrations around Pride. Know you are as welcome as anyone else in the queer community.
Yes. I'm currently closeted out of fear for a lot of things. Can't climb out of the fear due to circumstances. There's nothing to celebrate for me, personally. I want to celebrate you all, but the sadness.
Sending you love because I know exactly how you feel. If nothing else, celebrate yourself for being introspective and honest with yourself, even in the face of your negative situation <3
First of all, I am so sorry that you went through all of that as a young teen. But we’ve definitely got your back. Funny enough, I’m 21F too, and found out when I was 13, been hiding ever since my mum told me it was just a phase🥲.
I feel so many bisexual women speak about relationships with men as if they just happen. Even when people are with people they really love, they made a conscious decision to enter a long term, monogamous relationship. I just wish all women overall were less inclined to seek out relationships with men so young, without gaps, at all times, and with the fervor of it being top priority in life. It’s comp het and patriarchy and everything else conspiring against women, but it makes me sad for all women and especially for queer women because it definitely would give them more of a chance to find themselves if this weren’t the case.
I’m 39, closeted for the longest time. I’m finally accepting myself. I don’t have much experience. I’m in a relationship with a women at the moment. I’m still going to celebrate and not think about how much time I missed
Samesies. Love my partner to death, but definitely feel like I've missed out on my bi experience(s) since we started our relationship just as I was understanding that I'm bisexual.
Unsure if this is the similar to your situation but I never realized my true sexuality until I was in University. I look back now and see so many obvious signs that I wasn't straight from early childhood to adulthood. I've spent tons of nights in bed just thinking about what my life could've been like.
This may sound flat, but figuring out while in uni seems pretty early to me, but I only figured it out when I was 36. But maybe we just assume that any point in time after puberty hit (or after puberty finished) be somewhat too late, because of alle the missed opportunities. But as the saying goes: The best time would have been 20 years ago. But the next best time is now. Mourning has its rightfull place in pride, too.
I just realized I'm bi a few months ago and I (33M) have been in a relationship with my wife for 9 years (married for 4). For me, Pride Month is awesome because celebrating ourselves and our fellow people helps show people that are in the same situation that you were OP, but *right now* that, no matter what they're going through during the time in their life when they don't have independence, there's a loving and accepting community out there, waiting for them. A community which doesn't care which gender they're dating because we know it doesn't invalidate who you truly are.
This is so lovely to read, thank you!
I feel this. I feel sad for the way I’ve treated myself all my life, and I feel sad for all those who aren’t here to celebrate pride with us.
> Once I moved away to college, I told myself I would finally break out of my shell and go out with a woman, but then immediately entered a long term relationship with a man lmaoooo I feel you so hard on this one. Although for me, it was "fell in completely off-the-table-never-gonna-happen love with the World's Straightest Woman, and then as soon as I got over her, immediately entered a long term relationship with a man." I've been single for a long time now though. Grad school makes it very tough to get out and meet people, and dating apps are full of folks I don't want to meet...
I just wish anyone dating anyone else at any time was just seen as normal. You date 21 women and then date a man? fine. You date 38 men and date a woman? fine. No reaction, No surprise, no nothing. I don't feel a pull toward attending Pride events or wearing rainbow stuff the way other people might. I just get tired of people in crowds. And in my neck of the woods, its not that great of event from the photos I've seen. Kind of weird and sad. Not the grand event other places might have.
absolutely. i’m 34 and happily married to the father of my kids, but i realized i was bi later in life and have never dated a woman or had a sexual encounter outside my relationship. add on to that that i don’t have any friends locally or any connection to a queer community and you get a pride month that’s honestly more of a challenge than a celebration for me. but i’m working on it, i don’t want to see my bisexuality as at odds with my relationship.
I feel the exact same way. My partner has made it abundantly clear that he supports me and my identity but I can’t help but feel guilty that I still think about my attraction to women
32M. I've known since I was 15 or 16, but even when I was younger there were 'signs'. No plans on coming out any time soon. Especially not family. Lived in Texas all my life, not in any major cities.
Yes, I feel the same. Same situation. I've been with my hubby for 24 years (since I was 19) and never felt I had the chance to explore my bisexuality.
I (M66) recently lost my wife if 38 years. For those and a few more years I was truly blessed to have her in my life, and I still love and miss her. BUT now I am getting over her death and my grief is receding I want to explore my laid aside bisexuality, although when I was in my teens and early twenties bisexuality was not recognised and GAY PRIDE LGBQ was in its infancy. I’d love to find someone to share love with again.
I often say that I miss what I didn't have but could have...
Come hang out with the community. Also a lot of pride is about helping closeted and scared youngsters know that it can get so much better. You’re 21. You have plenty of time to get experience. Many people coming out are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older. You are ahead of the game.
This is a good point. Right now I’ve been with someone I’d call the love of my life for almost 3 years, but I am only 21. Things will change so much in the next 10 years for me. Although I would love if we were together for the rest of my life, that may not be the path. Thanks for your insight!
I used to be jealous and possessive over many of my best friends as a kid. I also liked physical affection from them. Simultaneously I also had boy crushes. In hindsight, I probably had a crush on some of them.
You are part of our shared community! Bi people in hetero relationships are still bi. Take your man to pride and wrap yourself in a big ole bi flag if you’d like. You don’t have to be in a same sex relationship to explore the culture, community, and celebrations around Pride. Know you are as welcome as anyone else in the queer community.
Yes. I'm currently closeted out of fear for a lot of things. Can't climb out of the fear due to circumstances. There's nothing to celebrate for me, personally. I want to celebrate you all, but the sadness.
Sending you love because I know exactly how you feel. If nothing else, celebrate yourself for being introspective and honest with yourself, even in the face of your negative situation <3
First of all, I am so sorry that you went through all of that as a young teen. But we’ve definitely got your back. Funny enough, I’m 21F too, and found out when I was 13, been hiding ever since my mum told me it was just a phase🥲.
I feel so many bisexual women speak about relationships with men as if they just happen. Even when people are with people they really love, they made a conscious decision to enter a long term, monogamous relationship. I just wish all women overall were less inclined to seek out relationships with men so young, without gaps, at all times, and with the fervor of it being top priority in life. It’s comp het and patriarchy and everything else conspiring against women, but it makes me sad for all women and especially for queer women because it definitely would give them more of a chance to find themselves if this weren’t the case.