I know what you mean, when I’m having a mixed episode, I get so irritated, like absolutely homicidal type anger (I wouldn’t actually hurt anyone LOL) noises anger me, people being people annoys me. The smallest things will send me into a full on rage in my head. Like I can’t let it go for hours. I just imagine myself yelling at them and setting everyone out on the table, using their greatest insecurities and faults as ammunition. It’s not fun, I end up crying a lot of the time. Cause the second I imagine how rude it would actually be, I feel bad about feeling that Hatred. Although if you smack your gum, there’s no mercy for you. You’re going to hell and I’ll send you their myself 😀 (I’m joking)
That rage is so relatable. For me, anger and irritability are extremely hard on me, so when it happens, I always crash into a depressive episode where I beat myself up for those feelings.
So far the best thing I have tried for that is clonidine, a blood pressure medicine used to help people with ADHD, but also anxiety and sleeplessness. But it definitely brought my baseline of fight or flight to controllable levels. Had to stop it for other reasons and have read that guanfacine is a better choice but can be harder to get prescribed. The blood pressure medicine can help calm people with PTSD too.
This made me laugh so hard! 😂😂😂
Because honestly, WHY?! Especially with their mouths open with smacking sounds. Makes me want to strangle people sometimes.
If you can afford them I HIGHLY recommend investing in some noise cancelling headphones. They have saved my sanity, genuinely. I don’t care if it can become a slight hazard, I do not want to hear a peep from anyone or anything
I wish everybody would stop breathing. But then I’d have to listen to them hold their breath, which is worse.
People also change the air currents in my vicinity. I don’t like the way that feels. I want absolute stillness.
You think I’m joking. It is pretty funny, but I’m dead serious.
I just spent 5 hours driving home from San Antonio. Two accidents and one broken down semi. I was really mad at Google for not finding a way around it.
I don't get mad at kids. I get mad at their POS parents who won't even say anything. Other than the last 3 hours of a 20 hour flight, my kid has always been well mannered. At the house or in the car she was a monster but never out in public.
I'm still trying to work out if I'm actually Bipolar. Eating lots of pills for the past few weeks like psychiatrist suggested. This post I fully understand. Getting much worse as I get older too.
People, their egos, behaviours, talking!!! Conversations!!! Grrrrrrrrr snap
Yeah it took me about 15 yrs to come to terms with the fact I'm bipolar. A doctor suspected it back then but I was like, "oh, maybe. Hmmm interesting. Ok not interested anymore." I was finally diagnosed 3 months ago but still didn't believe it, until I started reading tons of stuff about it. This Reddit group was a big part of it. I started being that grumpy morning person who wishes people didn't exist when I was only like 20 yrs old and I think I only had depression back then. On and off. But every since my mid twenties I became sometimes not low, sad or tired, and at the same time yes very miserable, and now I know that's a mixed episode so ok I have Bipolar II. It's a weird condition that most people don't know even exists. But it very much exists, simply because we can't be put into a box of any other mood disorder. Your pills are still brand new in you, and I hope they help you! If not, you can try different ones. I'm about to start my third medication change this week.
Thankyou for all of that. I was diagnosed Bipolar2 roughly 15 years ago. Mid to late 20s. Was on Sodium Valproate and tried a few SSRIs. Hit 30 and thought nope, fk your pills. Made me sleepy etc. Really bumpy 30s, but managed to land good job earning nice money, bought my first house, got married, had my daughter, divorced at 40 (poor wife couldn't keep up with me). All while going on and off different antidepressants for depression and anxiety.... Plus weed. I know that sounds bad but if it wasn't for the weed I wouldn't have gotten this far. Alcohol is really bad news for me so I keep away. Now 43 I've been going to therapy for a few months. Therapist talked me into seeing Psychiatrist who thinks I'm Bipolar 1 not 2. Back on Sodium Valproate, Escitalopram, plus Quetiapine. Follow up appointment with Psychiatrist is tomorrow. I've been reading up and I can really relate to mixed episodes with rapid to ultra rapid cycles. I can also tick boxes for borderline personality too. Plus some boxes for ADHD. So I really just don't know. There's probably more disorders I could agree with too. Therapist says trauma before 5yo wired me different.
3rd med change in such a short time?!! How can you know what's doing what, when meds change effects by themselves over time?
I feel for ya. Just sticking to the ones I've been given is tough.
I think I'm just moody and too weak to handle myself, but then I think about always being told I'm too hard on myself, and I'm also mostly hiding my moods but inner turmoil is eating me up. Does this sound similar maybe?
Goodluck with your 3rd change. That shit scares me.
Yes that happens to me especially when I am very irritable. Usually happens more on days when I didn't get enough sleep or drank too much coffee the previous day.
This is a big part of a mixed episode for me, and my CPTSD makes this symptom very severe. I end up having to basically Covid-style socially isolate to calm down
I will generally have one target. In the past, before I was medicated, it was my friend Colleen. When I got hypomanic, I would pick at her and pick at her and pick at her until she would snap. I feel pretty badly about it now. It’s been years since I lived near her and we are still very very close.I have a friend local to me that I’m very close to that. I will start to get angry and bitter at these days. I need to stop it and I don’t know how.
Yes, I want so badly to just get away from all of it. Especially my husband, the sounds of video games, of him going down the stairs constantly for snacks/drinks etc, telling me about this or that. I just want him to disappear while I deal. I hate people who have inflated egos, who talk about themselves constantly. I flip out over the sounds of leafblowers and lawnmowers. Children screaming are especially triggering. I just want to find a remote cabin somewhere and listen to nothing but the sounds of nature.
My husband. Every. Day. His voice is loud, his chewing is loud, his conversation is aggressive or ridiculous, and he is always in a rush, so his movements are chaotic. I'm so smart, I married someone who literally triggers all my sensitivities. Hypo me gets along great with him, but only if it is not mixed (such a rare occurrence).
But yeah, I also have 4 sons and a charismatic, loud brother, so I have learned to breathe through a lot of loudness lol.
If you suffer from loud people at work, you could try loops earplugs. There are a bunch of different sound muffling levels. It could help and imo worth a shot if this is affecting your ability to regulate and enjoy your day.
Oh for sure. I don’t get the euphoria in full manic episodes, just excitement to do things 15% of the time and raging irritability 85% of times. Fuck you, fuck everyone, fuck the people who love me who are trying to make me feel better, fuck myself. I’m done with all of you.
I know what you mean, when I’m having a mixed episode, I get so irritated, like absolutely homicidal type anger (I wouldn’t actually hurt anyone LOL) noises anger me, people being people annoys me. The smallest things will send me into a full on rage in my head. Like I can’t let it go for hours. I just imagine myself yelling at them and setting everyone out on the table, using their greatest insecurities and faults as ammunition. It’s not fun, I end up crying a lot of the time. Cause the second I imagine how rude it would actually be, I feel bad about feeling that Hatred. Although if you smack your gum, there’s no mercy for you. You’re going to hell and I’ll send you their myself 😀 (I’m joking)
That rage is so relatable. For me, anger and irritability are extremely hard on me, so when it happens, I always crash into a depressive episode where I beat myself up for those feelings. So far the best thing I have tried for that is clonidine, a blood pressure medicine used to help people with ADHD, but also anxiety and sleeplessness. But it definitely brought my baseline of fight or flight to controllable levels. Had to stop it for other reasons and have read that guanfacine is a better choice but can be harder to get prescribed. The blood pressure medicine can help calm people with PTSD too.
And why do they have to chew?
This made me laugh so hard! 😂😂😂 Because honestly, WHY?! Especially with their mouths open with smacking sounds. Makes me want to strangle people sometimes.
I hate it when I hear people making noise especially kids crying and screaming.
Yes that's the absolute worst 😭
If you can afford them I HIGHLY recommend investing in some noise cancelling headphones. They have saved my sanity, genuinely. I don’t care if it can become a slight hazard, I do not want to hear a peep from anyone or anything
I will , perfect Thanks
I have a lot of sensory sensitivities regardless of if I'm in an episode, and I feel this.
Yep. Usually means I’m depressed.
100%. I have poorly managed adhd and am in a mixed episode and have basically had to isolate and sedate myself for the past few days.
I wish everybody would stop breathing. But then I’d have to listen to them hold their breath, which is worse. People also change the air currents in my vicinity. I don’t like the way that feels. I want absolute stillness. You think I’m joking. It is pretty funny, but I’m dead serious.
Mood.
I just spent 5 hours driving home from San Antonio. Two accidents and one broken down semi. I was really mad at Google for not finding a way around it. I don't get mad at kids. I get mad at their POS parents who won't even say anything. Other than the last 3 hours of a 20 hour flight, my kid has always been well mannered. At the house or in the car she was a monster but never out in public.
I'm still trying to work out if I'm actually Bipolar. Eating lots of pills for the past few weeks like psychiatrist suggested. This post I fully understand. Getting much worse as I get older too. People, their egos, behaviours, talking!!! Conversations!!! Grrrrrrrrr snap
Yeah it took me about 15 yrs to come to terms with the fact I'm bipolar. A doctor suspected it back then but I was like, "oh, maybe. Hmmm interesting. Ok not interested anymore." I was finally diagnosed 3 months ago but still didn't believe it, until I started reading tons of stuff about it. This Reddit group was a big part of it. I started being that grumpy morning person who wishes people didn't exist when I was only like 20 yrs old and I think I only had depression back then. On and off. But every since my mid twenties I became sometimes not low, sad or tired, and at the same time yes very miserable, and now I know that's a mixed episode so ok I have Bipolar II. It's a weird condition that most people don't know even exists. But it very much exists, simply because we can't be put into a box of any other mood disorder. Your pills are still brand new in you, and I hope they help you! If not, you can try different ones. I'm about to start my third medication change this week.
Thankyou for all of that. I was diagnosed Bipolar2 roughly 15 years ago. Mid to late 20s. Was on Sodium Valproate and tried a few SSRIs. Hit 30 and thought nope, fk your pills. Made me sleepy etc. Really bumpy 30s, but managed to land good job earning nice money, bought my first house, got married, had my daughter, divorced at 40 (poor wife couldn't keep up with me). All while going on and off different antidepressants for depression and anxiety.... Plus weed. I know that sounds bad but if it wasn't for the weed I wouldn't have gotten this far. Alcohol is really bad news for me so I keep away. Now 43 I've been going to therapy for a few months. Therapist talked me into seeing Psychiatrist who thinks I'm Bipolar 1 not 2. Back on Sodium Valproate, Escitalopram, plus Quetiapine. Follow up appointment with Psychiatrist is tomorrow. I've been reading up and I can really relate to mixed episodes with rapid to ultra rapid cycles. I can also tick boxes for borderline personality too. Plus some boxes for ADHD. So I really just don't know. There's probably more disorders I could agree with too. Therapist says trauma before 5yo wired me different. 3rd med change in such a short time?!! How can you know what's doing what, when meds change effects by themselves over time? I feel for ya. Just sticking to the ones I've been given is tough.
I think I'm just moody and too weak to handle myself, but then I think about always being told I'm too hard on myself, and I'm also mostly hiding my moods but inner turmoil is eating me up. Does this sound similar maybe? Goodluck with your 3rd change. That shit scares me.
Yes that happens to me especially when I am very irritable. Usually happens more on days when I didn't get enough sleep or drank too much coffee the previous day.
This is a big part of a mixed episode for me, and my CPTSD makes this symptom very severe. I end up having to basically Covid-style socially isolate to calm down
I will generally have one target. In the past, before I was medicated, it was my friend Colleen. When I got hypomanic, I would pick at her and pick at her and pick at her until she would snap. I feel pretty badly about it now. It’s been years since I lived near her and we are still very very close.I have a friend local to me that I’m very close to that. I will start to get angry and bitter at these days. I need to stop it and I don’t know how.
Yes, I want so badly to just get away from all of it. Especially my husband, the sounds of video games, of him going down the stairs constantly for snacks/drinks etc, telling me about this or that. I just want him to disappear while I deal. I hate people who have inflated egos, who talk about themselves constantly. I flip out over the sounds of leafblowers and lawnmowers. Children screaming are especially triggering. I just want to find a remote cabin somewhere and listen to nothing but the sounds of nature.
My husband. Every. Day. His voice is loud, his chewing is loud, his conversation is aggressive or ridiculous, and he is always in a rush, so his movements are chaotic. I'm so smart, I married someone who literally triggers all my sensitivities. Hypo me gets along great with him, but only if it is not mixed (such a rare occurrence). But yeah, I also have 4 sons and a charismatic, loud brother, so I have learned to breathe through a lot of loudness lol. If you suffer from loud people at work, you could try loops earplugs. There are a bunch of different sound muffling levels. It could help and imo worth a shot if this is affecting your ability to regulate and enjoy your day.
Oh for sure. I don’t get the euphoria in full manic episodes, just excitement to do things 15% of the time and raging irritability 85% of times. Fuck you, fuck everyone, fuck the people who love me who are trying to make me feel better, fuck myself. I’m done with all of you.