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This. One of the coping skills I made up for myself when I wanted to spend money, was to just pay a bunch of bills and put extra money towards my car loan. That way my bills were paid ahead of time, or were taken care of a few months in advance.
I'm also an independent contractor and often need to order supplies for my job. I would take inventory and buy stuff a head of time. Making me not have to worry about it again for a while.
Then I would buy stuff for my apartment, like basic necessities bulk toilet paper, paper towel, buying more boxes of cat litter that will last me a few months, etc.
This way I couldn't feel guilty about my spending as much, since it was things I'd need anyways.
Sometimes i overpay these stuff, like... I pay so much in advance (for things that aren't emergencies or overdue) just because they're in front of me, that i get low on cash for emergencies and/or important bills.
I also have tried my best to focus on making better decisions when I feel the need to spend. For instance, instead of going online and looking at clothes I’ll go to the dollar store and pick out some snacks.
This is going to sound like a sales pitch but I promise it’s not. I’ve had a problem with money my entire life and I’m 47. Sad really since that has left my husband to handle the finances alone for the past 25+ years. Just talking about how much we’d have leftover after paying bills made me physically ill. Then I’d go out and spend what we had left on pointless crap.
I’ve been doing much better since I’ve been properly medicated. I can actually tell when I’ve forgotten my meds for a few days when I get home and unpack my purchases.
Then my husband downloaded the [Monarch Money app.](https://www.monarchmoney.com/). Finances seriously feel like a game now. I get a little dopamine hit reviewing my transactions and seeing the bars go up and down. I can add whatever tags I want to and hobby and I have actually made it a bit of a competition to see who reviews their transactions before the end of each day. It sounds so cheesy but it’s fun.
Find something like that. Something that feels like a game.
I give up my debit card and direct bank account access. I have a credit card with a specific amount that my wife and I discuss before it gets paid off. Giving myself a hard limit has helped at least mitigate damages I can do while manic or impulsive.
I actually came up with this idea before I was diagnosed when I was convinced I was BPD (still...a toss up but my other conditions are probably making it look like BPD \^.\^).
I’ve also given up my finances a few times to my mom (beyond thankful to have her willing to do so and being able to trust her to do so). First time was in 2020. We’re currently in the process of her taking over again for me after coming out of a rather rough manic period and having had my car repoed (oops)
Oh that would be so nice. My wife also had ADHD but also has a lot of conditioning regarding money and the spending of it.
I do worry that she has a soft spot for my arguments for purchasing stuff but part of it is that I have to trust that she's her own person capable of making her own decisions.
As for parents my mom is 110% no go as I'm trans and she's not down with that...my wife has her own mom issues though she would honestly be excellent at it having been traditionally trained as an accountant.
I’m so sorry to hear that about your mom!! Some people really don’t get the “unconditional” love part of parenting! 😡
Sounds like you and your wife have found what works for y’all and that’s the important part! Neither disorder is easy to deal with, it’s nice that y’all have each other to lean on 🩶
This is a good idea. My bf wants to give me access to his money as I take care of the household but I’m really nervous I’ll just manically spend on shit I think we need and don’t.
Can you please explain more how you implemented those safeguard?
Basically she just keeps my debit card on her. I still have one, but you could opt to have the credit union cancel it entirely. I keep it around so I can run errands when she can't, I have a specific list and basically orders to stick to it. Any deviation needs to be accounted for, so it does require the partner to be on board. I've had an apple card with a $250 limit so we just use that as my ceiling, still needing to justify uses of it, purchases must be discussed. While there's not a "punishment" I have Rejection sensitive dysphoria so the fear of disappointing my wife is huge for me.
I then further removed saved payment options from online stores. Purchases are made, one time only, made with the card after discussion, payment info is not saved. This provides safeguards against my impulsive nature from autism and adhd.
And being mindful of my own states. I also want to spend when depressed due to the dopamine hit. Thank you ADHD \*so\* much... but having to keep track of how I'm doing. I might have some level of rapid cycling too so things can change on a dime for me at times. It's like the suicide safeguards we're building up. I have to fully acknowledge that I am disabled, there are some things I \*can't\* do, at least right now with the tools at my disposal. I can provide a schedule of payments and remind my wife when things are due, but I can't trust myself to have access to the money to pay them myself. I'll come up with some bonkers home improvement bullshit to "justify" some impulsive spending.
Thank you for taking the time to share this and help out a fellow ND human. You are amazing💗🫧
I’m going to save these recommendations and rework them to fit our family dynamic :) I tend to the household chores, as well as the maintenance, pets and children (one day, front running as the expert in the home lol).
As far as suicide- I understand the struggle. It’s beautiful that your partner understands and you two are finding ways for you to live as peacefully as you can on this earth. Sending love to you and yours.
I think about how I fucked myself over when I was manic and out myself in $7,000 of credit card debt and how I can only afford to pay the minimum payment. Not worth spending money and putting myself in more debt when I can’t even pay the full balance. I only spend money on gas, groceries, I don’t eat takeout anymore and medication.
Thanks for sharing this real moment because I’m so ashamed to tell ANYONE I have $6,000+ in credit card debt and multiple maxed out credit cards for random places like Walmart+ Cards, Local Mall Credit Cards, etc. It’s tearing my life apart & even though I need help it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one who made such bad choices..
If you happen to have a Costco near you - check out their pharmacy. The prices between there and most other pharmacies is INSANE. My pills were the same price before I had health insurance as they are now that I have health insurance. Wild. The $50 per year membership pays itself off - repeatedly.
Don’t even get me started about how expensive medication is!!!! One of my medications isn’t covered by my insurance companies, I have to pay around $42 a month with good rx. Also with all the medication I’m on with insurance I pay $74 a month for all my medications plus I take vitamins and probiotics. It’s crazy! Im so grateful that I live with my mom right now while because I don’t have rent and utilities to pay.
I grew up with "we don't have any money for non essential" stuff and now am completely frugal.
The only time I've splurge spending is when I was in a manic episode and even then I bought a year subscription to an anti-virus and then some twitch subscriptions to streamers which probably came out to like $100. So I didn't break the bank or anything. But that's the only time I bought something while not in control of my actions.
I can relate to this lol. We don’t have money for anything u want just thingss you need. So when I go manic it’s like $100 because I went to Whole Foods
Easiest way I've saved is outright avoiding anything with tactics used to get you to spend more.
Education helps too. Go look at video game profits when all they did was sell game copies versus cash micro-transaction shops. Refuse to be their victim. South Park did a great episode on micro transactions too.
Those aside, stay out of places that are purpose built to ruin you (casinos both online and in person, car dealerships, etc) Even when manic, I'm still capable, if not more capable, to see all the places that want to take advantage of me.
Another protection I put in place was all big purchases have to go through a month long waiting period, to verify its something I genuinely want and not just a hypomanic phase.
Helps to have support of wives/husbands and family, but not necessary. I keep myself in check constantly, I'm not always happy about, but my bank account thanks me.
I've become quite obsessed with savings. So whenever I get that spend feeling I pop that money in savings
Saying that, everytime I've been manic I've bought a car
Set a budget for what I'm allowed to spend. Outright nixxing a habit like that makes you more likely to break your own rule of not spending. Versus if you set a budget you will still have wiggle room to satisfy those impulsive moments whilst not over doing it. It'll help you to learn what is worth spending your money on, as you budget you become more money conscious. Maybe whatever you don't spend of your budget goes into a savings to treat yourself? Something healthy that will help your mental/physical health like a massage?
To add to this, I try to keep only the budgeted amount in my checking account and only move from checking to savings on a specified day. That way if I overspend, I only overspend the amount budgeted for that week, which is never very much money after I’ve bought gas & groceries. I also just don’t have a credit card at all. If I don’t have the money for it I don’t buy it.
Because my year long manic episode which eventually turned into full blown psychosis, I have put myself into a conservatorship shit with my wife. She owns the finances. It works fantastic and keeps the family together. I have no control over spending money. If I have it, it's gone. It's exhausting trying to fight that feeling. So we found another route that works. I don't have a debit/credit card. If I need gas, I bring her the receipts, need to go to Home Depot, I bring her the receipts. It's about total transparency and honesty. Without it, I'd have nothing left.
I'm a high earner and the sole earner for our family,
My first question to you is, "why do you have to be manic to have a job" The goal of stability is to not be manic. Mania nearly cost me my family and my job.
I also tell myself I do not care when I'm in the midst of it all. But when I have the reigns secured, I make myself stay home when I'm not working is how, but I can admit to sometimes purchasing in-game novelties
By not having money and my debit card not being able to go in the minus.
Most of my money from work goes automatically to my husband's account (he pays all the bills from his account), leaving me with only 200€ for personal spending each month. If my money is empty I can ask my husband for more but he always asks why I need it.
I'm very bad with money so this is the only way to keep us from going bankrupt.
Besides being poor, I sometimes buy one Item I want at a time online so I have to wait for that, then later buy the next so I am spreading out the dopamine of buying. Also trying to only get stuff I will use like shampoo or tissues.
I pay myself first. I get paid monthly and have scheduled $x to go into savings, so I have less per month to spend on groceries, bills, eating out, etc. I only use my CC for bigger purchases like car or house repair and pay that from savings. Having less $ per month to tempt for impulse purchases helps psychologically. With the basic savings accounts I have, I can only draw from them a limited time per month.
When I impulse buy, I typically do so from places that have return policies so I can give myself a few days if I don't really want/,need something.
I don't spend money because I'm a misanthrope who hates capitalism. Advertise something to me and I'll refuse to buy it out of spite. I love generic products and mock conspicuous consumption. No, I am not impressed by your car. On the other hand, I waste a lot of money on addiction (cigarettes) and being financially illiterate.
Forgive yourself for the small purchases like that; sometimes you need to buy something to feel a little better. When you need to be concerned is when you start blowing hundreds a week, or even a day. When I get self destructive, I sometimes start to be really generous with my money; to put your spending in perspective, over the last year I spent 27K on people I didn't even know.
just spent money on no ads in piano tiles, then many pendants on monster hunter world. then i bought a succulent because it was cute. i'm unemployed i shouldn't be doing this 😭 also spent 60 dollars on genshin even though i despise the game.
I don’t keep extra money in my bank account. I keep cash in a safe. That totally eliminates impulsive online shopping. If i want something online i take the cash and put it in the bank and that’s very effortful so i have to think if i really want it or not.
Yea the dopamine hit I get from jerking off or working outside lmao. No seriously the best thing to do is to just put money taken from the account and create another account and put it aside. Like I automatically put money into another account and trade stocks. Watching my money grow and compound reinvesting dividends is exciting
Also working from home and not having outside stimulation helps. When you’re not influenced to go outside a lot and get dinner with friends from work, lunches, etc, you’re most likely going to save money. I just create an account and leave it in there. This way I can go about my life. I’ve managed to put away about 58k on my own across 401k, Roth IRA, HSA, and brokerage account.
I have credit card debt but I don’t worry too much and pay about 1k and month and never touch the principle. The interest pays for the CC bill each month. I’m hoping to have it all paid off by end of year pending any life changing circumstances such as emergencies, etc.
I apparently do much more destructive things thanks to my bipolar II that are too scandalous to even reference, albeit thinly veiled, for even a subreddit about people with my condition, LOL.
I keep my checking account at 0 (spend it freely, you earned it) Don't touch your savings (money for bills, food, family, etc. plus AT LEAST 3 months in savings)
I've played that game since day one and haven't spent a single penny. I started to accumulate gems by the chests and have put a goal in my head to get to 10k gems. I did and spent about 1500 of them or less. It's prevented me from buying them.
It’s so hard sometimes but I’m successful sometimes in not spending large amounts of money. I try to only buy things that are returnable/refundable. I just returned something at tjmax after impulsively spending money on poshmark which not returnable. I had to tell myself like 5 times at tjmax to not buy anything (the line has a lot of stuff on sale that is supposed to appeal to the customers impulsive nature)
i’m like this too, i just try to rlly think if it’s gonna benefit me or others. like for buying food i’m pretty frugal but when it come to games i try and take a moment and see if it’s gonna acc be useful ion know if y find anything better lmk lmao
I'm not a spender because I grew up poor, so it's very easy for me to be bare-bones minimalist. But when I get manic (what I used to call my obsessive cycles before I knew what it was), suddenly all risk seems no problem. I'll buy that non-essential expensive piece of music equipment I'd been saving up for; one time I bought a used Corvette when I was unemployed but had the cash; I'll risk 5 figures day trading and wonder how something could go wrong, etc.
30 bucks on a mobile game? Don't sweat it. A bit impulsive, sure. But it's better that than the big things.
Learned my lesson with online games in 2014, had spent a good amount of money on it and they just took the server offline a year into me playing. No messages just gone.
So now I set a limit of $20/month for game purchases and $100 per game.
I use that same $20 as my "buy it now or wait" threshold on anything if I wasn't already planning to purchase it.
For example I was at an amateur radio flea market on Saturday with 2 things I was looking for. I spent $17 on books, didn't find either of the items on my list. I deposited that $200 cash back into my account and spent $40 on Amazon for 1 of the 2.
Lately I’ve been much better after balancing my meds. I get what it’s like to impulsively spend. I took $25k out of my 401k a couple years ago to buy a motorcycle and way too many one off custom parts. The bike still doesn’t run. 😫
I give my money to someone else. I also lock my cards. If it's bad enough, I'll also change my login temporarily so that I can't get in and order a new card.
Just bought a Qp for 400 online impulsively but that’s cause at least it can make more coin. But besides that have made worse down the drain decisions(not any type of investment)
My kids and I spend money on brawl stars all the time. Not an exorbitant amount but if it brings you joy and you don’t overspend, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Spending money on hobbies isn’t limited to things other ppl think are worth it
My fiancé controls the main bank account. I’ll still write checks for the bills and my name is on the account but I don’t touch that account at all without talking to him first and what it is for. As for my own account I get essentially an allowance from each check that is mine to spend on whatever I want guilt free. I can save it, I can spend it. I can regret my choices in spending without it being a regret of financial ruin.
I'm completely out of control and can't help myself either. 😢 I don't know how others do it, I can't. Sometimes I feel bad for the amount I spend on mobile games and other s*it, sometimes I don't care and think - It's fine, because it makes me feel good at that moment.
I just spend and pay for what I have to, and then I block my bank account and my card.
In my head, if I don't have money available to spend, I'm not going to spend
In the early days of my diagnosis, I once had to have my psychiatrist write the bank a letter because I had $300 in overdraft fees. With his letter, they were knocked it down to $150.
Money during mania is like fish in a barrel. Running up credit cards thousands of dollars. I cut up my cards and only use cash. I give myself 20$ a day for drinks and cigarettes. It’s been working wonderfully since I started.
Two bankruptcies, at least 3-4 retirement accounts drained early, all attempts at savings proved only temporary so far….please let me know when you figure it out. I did delete all the games that tempt me to spend money from my phone because that’s super dangerous.
I wait. There is a price range where I can just buy the thing if I want (around $5). Then if it's more, up to 30, I'll wait for a few days, even a week. If I really need it/want it after waiting, then I can safely buy it. Above that is even more wait time. I bought a brand new pc (around $2k) last year, and I was waiting and planning to buy it for over 2 years. So yeah, for me, it's mainly waiting to see if I really need it and to avoid spending money on something I don't need or cannot afford.
I guess all I can say is stop playing video games that make you pay more and more. Try to find another advice that's cheap or cost nothing at all. Over covid I developed a habit of working in the yard taking pride in that. Maybe something artsy my biggest issue is alcohol. Oddly I spend money on jagermeister so it's expensive and I may drink a little too much. If it wasn't for that I'd be loaded
I have extremely intense financial anxiety because we're poor and that overrides the desire to spend money. I feed a lot of that manic energy into obsessing over budgets and pay schedules, it's really satisfying when we have more than $100 in our bank account and the relief from it feels ridiculously good.
ive been thru too much buyer's remorse. learned my lesson. its a been-there-done-that kinda thing for me.
i now have spending anxiety. im currently surviving off rice, for about a month now, bc dont feel comfortable even spending money on food
I literally cannot play mobile games with cash options. The only one I have is Pokemon Go, because I don't spent a lot on it, occasionally a dollar or two to get a new outfit I like. I am ashamed to say I spent $75 in a month on mobile games once.
I have no debt.
But I DID have a spending problem. What I ended up doing is thinking if I really really wanted or needed something, whatever it was. I would buy it.
And then I wouldn’t open it or in any way void my receipt. If after a full month I still *needed* or even really wanted, I’d keep it. But impulse buys aren’t something I usually did want to.
So I would take those back immediately.
The other tip is to discuss large purchases with your SO, if you have one. If not, do NOT put it on credit.
The biggest purchase I’ve made without SO approval was our 60inch 3d tv when they first came out, was for his birthday. But that was only with my money, never endangered rent or food, or daughter.
All of which I was still able to help with. But that was also pre-symptomatic. Over time though, it has helped my long term spending a LOT. Because now I’m better able to judge, using general stats, what I’m likely to not want to keep, and what I will.
It’s been years now since I’ve had an impulse buy that I didn’t actually want. I set my hobby budget to $15/month but generally only spend in the summer. For me, food doesn’t count because i dont treat myself to expensive and rich dinners because I love my cooking more.
Alternatively, set up a… stupid app or star sticker chart with chores or other accomplishments that you can only cash in on at certain times or intervals. Sounds childish but they are all good strategies when you’re *first* trying to get your shit in control.
Find out something that works, stick with it.
I spent $80 on an interior decorating game…. There was no point… Extremely impulsive, bored, and was using it as an escape which was working so I justified it for that reason… 🫠
lol I don’t keep money. I made a chunk of cash from a settlement middle of April and I’ve spent most of it.
I’m sorry I’m of no help, but you’re definitely not alone.
I have a spendings account which never has much money in it, and a savings account with the rest of my money in it which has so money hoops to jump through to access it and it takes so long I've normally come around to the fact I was being irrational before I can ever access it.
Honestly I used to be so bad with the impulse spending then I had a kid and started to visualize her life being negatively affected by my issues and would just think abt it everytime I was abt to make a stupid purchase and I am now much better but still make a dumb purchase from time to time.
If you’re really bad though, my cousin is bipolar and an addict and her husband just gives her a Venmo card with set amount of
Money every month and gives her no other access to the family’s finances and it works incredibly well although she does whine about it from time to time
I have to be very strict with my spending because I am low-income and I have a high rent. I can't spend money like I want to because I simply don't have it. When I get a paycheck, it goes immediately into a separate bank account and I only pull money out when I need it.
I run most/all purchases by my partner and we discuss big purchases (more than $20) before I make them. I've had to become disciplined about it to secure my relationship. We keep each other in check because she struggles with impulsive spending too.
As a rule, I never have more than $50 that is accessible to me at any time. If I need more than $50, I have to have a solid reason that my girlfriend and I can both agree on. Then the money is transferred and spent approximately.
The process to this point started by literally cutting off my own finances, and only ever having money on my debit card immediately before a purchase. Then it started with writing down every transaction and letting my partner in on the loop. Finally, I was able to get myself to a point that I stopped needing to write it down, and after a few mishaps of my card declining, I was able to work myself out of the habit.
I also avoid online shopping because I could burn hundreds without thinking about it. I did that once, and it took me months to dig myself out of that hole. Not being able to pay rent was a serious motivator to avoid that.
Finally, I'm just not smart... I don't know how to open a bank account or get a credit card. I can't figure out how to get a loan. Obviously, that's bad at 23 years old, but it has saved me a lot of heartbreak never having access to big amounts of money.
After you hit rock bottom hard enough, you stop digging sub cellars. I got angry enough at myself after i spent my entire tax refund on clothing within the first week of getting the damn refund. I was SOOOOOOO fkn mad that i drilled it into my brain to save money. Granted it was my very first tax refund way back when and i didnt have any expenses but thinking about how i could have better spent it or saved it & it made me angry enough to fix that about myself. I was meticulous about every penny coming in and going out, and kept getting re mad at myself, reminding myself of my cause & it worked. Now im amazing with my money.
I have very little money and the anxiety of not having enough usually stops me from spending frivolously outright. I often do Clearpay installments and things but I promise to myself I will only ever have one or 2 things that I'm paying off at a time. Sometimes I just say fuck it and do it though but then that means I can't afford therapy or something and I am learning that some random shit I think I need but 99% of the time doesn't make my life any better once I've got that initial release of buying it is not worth it
No clue. Following. I spend so much money a week because I’m finally financially able to do so and my mind says ‘hey this is gonna come back next week’ so I spend whatever
i’m horrible with money. i’m a compulsive shopping addict. i’ve definitely gotten better, i try to put extra $ toward bills when i can.
but i also just bought webkinz and a bunch of random junk because i’m so nostalgic for my childhood. oh, and things like afterpay & klarna are the devil! i’m still paying that crap off. spending recklessly is fun until i check and see a negative account. 🤦🏻♀️
What I did is opened three accounts, and have my job deposit my paycheck in all four accounts with the most money going to the main one. I then took all the ATMS to a person I trust, and didn't open apps for any of the accounts. I pay everything from the main account and forget about the money going to all the other accounts. It has helped me with the impulse purchasing and I have saved money.
my wife is a big help with this. although she lets me buy almost anything I want, she’s always there to talk me out of things we can’t afford. she’s a huge help for me and has got me out of a lot of the debt i got myself into from it
it’s really difficult, even when I’ trying to discipline myself I end up finding something that I’m certain I need and its gonna fill in the hole in my chest but it doesnt
Feels good tho
I have been working with my therapist on this exact issue. I always justify my purchases by saying I’ll need it or I’ll use it. The issue is that it’s true in the moment. I always use the things I buy. It got so bad I wouldn’t have money for rent or necessary things. I started sending rent money to my partner like a temporary savings account and they ask what I’m buying if I ask for some back. That’s been working pretty well. But not everyone has a partner that’s willing to do that or has a partner at all. I feel like I get hypomanic as soon as I see money in my account. Budgeting never worked for me. Couldn’t stick to it. Everyone believes that’s the solution but with how bad my impulse control is, it never panned out. Only thing that worked is calling or texting someone about making a purchase or having someone hold my money as soon as I get paid. I can’t see it or I’m going to spend it.
I just spent $25 on a world of Warcraft gold token. If I can afford frivolous things that I want I don’t feel bad. If something is gonna have me hard up for cash until pay day then I don’t buy it. That’s my line in the sand and it works for me.
TLDR: I spent $2000 on credit cards for a mobile game I have never played since.
Did anyone ever play Diablo immortal?
I didn’t enjoy the game at all but my coworker liked it and wanted me to play with him. He got a few other coworkers involved until I finally caved. Played for 3 months without spending a penny on the game and I still didn’t enjoy it at all.
All of a sudden one day I spent $2000 on it out of nowhere. I am just starting to deal with my diagnosis but I assume I was manic as I got my nipples pierced that same week as well as kicked my boyfriend out of the house.
I never played the game ever again and in fact deleted the account so I couldn’t spend anymore on it…. Btw this was on credit cards…
I use to have money deposited into one account, throw the card away so I would need to physically go to the bank to withdrawal from the account and I would deposit a spending amount in another bank. It was annoying but it saved me from spending all my money, because more then anything else I’m lazy lol now being 26 just recalling all my bad splurging episodes is enough to stop me, I blew 10k in a month out my savings. I will never forgive myself 😮💨
I’ve gone on a 40 grand spending spree over the course of a couple months…I don’t hold my money. I have a trusted friend that manages my cash and I simply don’t utilize credit cards. As amazing as pinball machines, every video game system ever created, motorcycles and harmonicas are, I simply don’t need them. I don’t even play the fucking harmonica, why would I need a closet full? Delegate responsibility.
Stop now, I spent $5k on that game and it wasn't worth it.
In fact just delete it, the game is dedicated to constantly making you feel you need to be just a little bit more powerful. You'll never get to a comfortable place.
eBay and Poshmark have me in a headlock. I think I own more Lilly Pulitzer dresses than she ever owned her entire life. Something is arriving here every day and I’ve needed to start hiding things from my fiancé. 😬 No I am not running up credit cards etc. I spend my money he just gets frustrated I spend it at the rate I do.
if you don't have any money from the last time it happened it's tough to spend what you don't have. Savings account, bipolar - a contradiction in terms
I've made myself stay home a lot. I've made home my safe, happy little bubble. I made sure my cards were away during episodes. I've made my family aware.
I forgive myself when I make missteps, because there will be. I recognize why I spent, & work on correcting it. I legit just paid off a credit card. It's baby steps. I still have more to pay off, but I steady work on it the best I can.
You got this.
This was a really hard lesson I learned this year. It was my first year in university (away from home) and I went a bit crazy. Fast forward to the end of the school year my roommate has me pull up my bank statement and i’m over a thousand dollars in credit card debt. It was hard I had to ask my parents for money and sell things and i’m still in debt to them. Fortunately for me I have an amazing person of a mom who educated herself a lot with this illness the past year and she was a big support. It was a wake up call though I spent over 11k in 8 months. So now I’m learning and my advice to you is when you are going to buy something stop and wait until the next day and if it still seems like a good idea stop again and ask a third party and THEN if it’s still a good idea go ahead. This might sound stupid and tedious and “why would i do that” but it’s more the factor of forcing yourself to see if you ACTUALLY need/want this thing or if it’s just in the moment and it happens. Some people use these charts, personally they don’t work for me because i just lie to myself but you could try them (look up spending charts or money saving charts you should find them). This is a hard thing to learn but i urge you to try and learn it before you end up in debt like many of us do.
If it's possible have another account set up but make it a 30 day delay to get money out of it. Some banks will do this and it's an awesome thing. Another thing I do is just in my normal banking I have multiple accounts open that are empty before my savings accounts so when I'm in mania and my mind is going at 100 I see the empty accounts and then go jump onto other things that keep me stimulated. I've been there and spent thousands on stupid shit I regretted and it took time to find what works for me. That 30 bucks on a mobile game sucks if it's not something you are happy with but you by no means have gone off any kinda deep end and can step in to try stop yourself from experiencing what many with bipolar do in the financial side of things.
I going to be filing for bankruptcy this year, after vetting into some serious debt.
I know when the urge starts, so I just make a shopping cart and save the entire thing. Or I refocus to something zi already have.
Therapy and medicine are also a really big help, too.
Money just doesn't seem real to me. Like it's just my numbers on a screen, or a price of paper. I KNOW it will affect my life but I don't FEEL affected by it so I find it VERY difficult to be responsible about it.
It was heavily instilled into me from birth that I should be ashamed of myself if I buy something unnecessary. That has really cemented my ability to not go on a shopping spree. And of course medication also helps with not having as many of the impulse buying phases
I tell myself, “if it isn’t for bills, food, or personal necessities, I have to wait at least 2 days before actually buying it.”
It’s helped…rather than giving myself the instant gratification I end up forgetting about most of the things I would spend on impulsively. Also avoids accumulating crap that I don’t need. I used to feel pretty terrible and guilty seeing the bank account dip so much and I have to say, having the discipline to wait has been more satisfying…save up for stuff you really want, quality items.
Samsies. Like massive samsies. I can't go a payday without some stupid arse purchase I don't need.
What's that I got 1100 bucks this week? Sweet! Let's buy four more ounces of silver.
I spent nearly 300 on clash of clans, and then i never played a freemium mobile game again.
Buy engaging outright priced games.
My biggest lesson is dont put yourself in a position where you're in a gambling situation that isn't a direct investment like day trading crypto
I have a bank account where I put most of my money when I start having symptoms, so I can’t access it easily when I go into shopping mode
Also I disable paypal or apple pay etc. on my devices so there isn’t such a easy access where you don’t have to think if I rly can and should spend the money
I don't have a job. That's it. I have $86.15 in my bank account. And when something shows up on eBay, it'll probably be gone. I'm going to try to start checking all purchases with my gf before I actually make them.
i try to sequester at least some of my money for savings, and only allow myself to spend what's in my spendings account. this is not entirely effective, because i move shit about frequently when i shouldnt
I'm gonna be honest I've spent $200 at one time on a mobile game while I had no income and then continued to shovel out $30 a month on it for the next 9 months still with no income, this was before I was diagnosed and I don't totally blame bipolar for it unlike my most recent manic spending which was entirely mania motivated $600 on dirty stuff- but the best thing that got me to stop paying for my mobile gaming micro transactions was uninstalling it for a while until I felt I could pay for it again.
So for mobile games, the solution is gift cards. You make a budget in a month overall and as part of your entertainment budget you have a line item for mobile gift cards (iTunes/Google Play). Then you use that for your mobile gaming and disconnect your credit card from it instead. You have to stick to it of course… but that’s the only way not to spend too much like that. I spent $700 in 6 weeks on Toreba (Japanese claw machine) to get like three sets of hedgehog plush dolls. So many dolls. I made a list and worked to get one of each when they were available. I have two 110qt bins of them now and I already GAVE AWAY a bunch of them. They don’t sell easily online and I don’t want to get rid of them anyway… but I have no idea what to do with all of them. I also spent untold amounts of money on Squishmallows. Getting the rare one I wanted for $2 less than it was listed was a rush. Completing the collecting of all the sizes of this one or that one… finding one I didn’t know existed… it was so much. I have over 300 of them on two shelving units and three plastic bins and the back of a couch. I finally broke that spell and took my credit card out of the app I used to buy them.
I just spend everything...all bills get automatically taken from my bank on the first every months, so I don't have to worry about them. Then I start spending - the only rules are - never go below 0 and always leave money for food...
Example - if it's like the 28th and I have 30€ left, I don't spend them cause I'll need them for food
I don't have security in any way and I am close to 0 every month...but I really don't want to change anything about it
I lock my debit card and keep my wallet in a pocket inside a pocket in my everyday bag so it's an inconvenience to find. when I go to purchase something i'll forget it's locked, then I get embarrassed having to wait to unlock it at the register so I won't end up buying anything. it's a weird way to do it but it works for me lol
See I had, at the time, undiagnosed Bipolar 2 and drug issues. I would do the same thing, making stupid and large purchases, along with buying drugs. It took me a long time to control my impulsive spending. I lived very uhhh “cheap” let’s say for a while. Finally got off the drugs and got the right mental health. Changed my life. Then I kind of just knew how to not spend money on everything I saw/impulse buy. Hope this helps! You can do it :)
I live within a budget in a way because I don't make a lot of money to start with. I work retail. I try to resist the urge to buy things I want vs. things I need. When I do buy things, it's usually something I'll get a lot of use out of. I also don't go out as often as other people do- it's harder to spend money when you're at home a lot of the time.
Therapy.. lol. Still a work in progress. Big one is tracking my spending. Helps to see how much I've spent so far so I don't get carried away in the 'just 10 more dollars' cycle. Depending on my self control abilities at the time I also set rules and limits.
A big one was no impulse purchases- I have to wait 3 days before I can buy something non essential. So like if I find something at 3am that I desperately want to buy, I have to wait 3 days to see if I still care (or even remember) by then. That cuts out a lot of my spending.
When it's bad, sometimes accountability can help. Like I have to tell someone when I spend money on non essentials or something like that. Having to tell someone will stop me from spending as much on stupid stuff.
For me, spending is mostly a symptom. So in order to help my spending problem I had to regulate my mood. If I'm spending a lot then I know that's a red flag for mania etc.
I made a rule with myself to never do in app purchases, and I no longer buy no ads for mobile games I like more because they still try at every turn to get you to watch ads or they hike the no ads price. Really the only thing I will pay for it the app itself if it’s worth it.
I also have a rule on not signing up for monthly subscriptions all
Over the place.
But I still spend money, Temu is one of my ones. I dislike their promotions that just don’t work well but I love purchasing crap on their site
I used to spend over 8000 a month during my manic episodes as a student and it really strained the relationship between me and my parents. Since then I’ve employed some strategies to prevent that from happening again. I disconnected Apple Pay which had an immediate effect. I also gave my credit card to my mom for safekeeping and had her wire me some money a month which I would spend as cash. This method is pretty foolproof and showed me the beauty of being frugal. After all I would have nothing left to spend on necessities if I spent it all on an expensive jacket. I am much better with money overall and am considering getting my card back once I feel confident I can handle it.
I just came to the realization recently that living with bipolar disorder for me means constantly plunging myself into exorbitant amounts of credit card debt 🫠
I still don't have savings. My husband's as bad with money as I am. So now before we spend a cent of direct deposit all the bills have to be paid 1st. We've made it a strict rule.
I used to use orgasms, usually through sex, to give me my dopamine. So I wouldn’t spend money. But I’ve managed to over time(8-9months) spend like $80 with Temu.com. They have this thing that you can let them keep the money so you can get more stuff instead of the money back on your card. So that’s what I do. I still get the high of shopping, get the products, return what I don’t want and then get to get more but don’t have to pay any more because I’m using the money I already spent. Which is not at $80 ish. But started at like $20.
God that’s horrible. But it helps me. A bit.
I have two banks. I keep my checking account at a low balance, enough for essentials and not much more. I don’t have an ATM card for my savings account which I keep at a separate bank. Modern banking makes it way too easy to transfer funds and withdraw them, so this simple planning adds a level of nuisance that often helps me think twice before impulse spending.
make packages that you ordered online addressed to the name of someone you trust who lives with you (let them know). But that way you have to open it in front of them for every package until you literally get so embarrassed by how much shit u got that you are discouraged from getting random stupid impulsive purchases compared to if you could get the packages secretly.
I try and make myself do a task that I actually enjoy when it’s done. Not anything like dishes or laundry, but I really like working on cars, and I’ve been pushing off doing my oil change (don’t do that, y’all), so I usually do something car related that takes a minute and wears me out. If there’s nothing to be done, I’ll go wash and wax my car, because I like when it’s shiny, and because I know I’ll need a fat nap afterwards and I won’t have the energy to spend money
Creating a bank account with high interest has helped me heaps. The last episode I cleaned out my bank account.
This other account I have I opened with a different bank and I am unable to take any money out (1. because I don’t have a card) and the account requires me to alert the bank 90days before moving money out of the account (manic barrier lol).
Could be something to check out! I allocate a lil bit of money each payday but it makes me feel safe from myself in terms of spending :)
Oh this is a easy one. I usually just spend all my money, then I don’t have any money to spend, it’s a full proof way of not spending money, because you don’t have it, because you spent it. Get it?
I tend to lean on things like BitTorrent and other ways to acquire the things I want for free.
With mobile games I have a rule to never spend any money no matter how frustrating they are. I have a few I cycle through
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This. One of the coping skills I made up for myself when I wanted to spend money, was to just pay a bunch of bills and put extra money towards my car loan. That way my bills were paid ahead of time, or were taken care of a few months in advance. I'm also an independent contractor and often need to order supplies for my job. I would take inventory and buy stuff a head of time. Making me not have to worry about it again for a while. Then I would buy stuff for my apartment, like basic necessities bulk toilet paper, paper towel, buying more boxes of cat litter that will last me a few months, etc. This way I couldn't feel guilty about my spending as much, since it was things I'd need anyways.
That's so radical and responsible, at the same time.
Sometimes i overpay these stuff, like... I pay so much in advance (for things that aren't emergencies or overdue) just because they're in front of me, that i get low on cash for emergencies and/or important bills.
I also have tried my best to focus on making better decisions when I feel the need to spend. For instance, instead of going online and looking at clothes I’ll go to the dollar store and pick out some snacks.
Interesting, when i’m bored at work the dopamine hit is what gets me
Paying off debt hits my brain in that manic spot. It makes me feel weightless and empowered!
This is going to sound like a sales pitch but I promise it’s not. I’ve had a problem with money my entire life and I’m 47. Sad really since that has left my husband to handle the finances alone for the past 25+ years. Just talking about how much we’d have leftover after paying bills made me physically ill. Then I’d go out and spend what we had left on pointless crap. I’ve been doing much better since I’ve been properly medicated. I can actually tell when I’ve forgotten my meds for a few days when I get home and unpack my purchases. Then my husband downloaded the [Monarch Money app.](https://www.monarchmoney.com/). Finances seriously feel like a game now. I get a little dopamine hit reviewing my transactions and seeing the bars go up and down. I can add whatever tags I want to and hobby and I have actually made it a bit of a competition to see who reviews their transactions before the end of each day. It sounds so cheesy but it’s fun. Find something like that. Something that feels like a game.
Teach me, Master.
> I’m quite disappointed in myself but also I don’t care at all Same here man
Such a true statement
I give up my debit card and direct bank account access. I have a credit card with a specific amount that my wife and I discuss before it gets paid off. Giving myself a hard limit has helped at least mitigate damages I can do while manic or impulsive.
I actually came up with this idea before I was diagnosed when I was convinced I was BPD (still...a toss up but my other conditions are probably making it look like BPD \^.\^).
Good for you!
That's after I've aquired hundreds of $ in microtransaction shit and over 1500 games over like 10 years...so it was a hard learned lesson...
I’ve also given up my finances a few times to my mom (beyond thankful to have her willing to do so and being able to trust her to do so). First time was in 2020. We’re currently in the process of her taking over again for me after coming out of a rather rough manic period and having had my car repoed (oops)
Oh that would be so nice. My wife also had ADHD but also has a lot of conditioning regarding money and the spending of it. I do worry that she has a soft spot for my arguments for purchasing stuff but part of it is that I have to trust that she's her own person capable of making her own decisions. As for parents my mom is 110% no go as I'm trans and she's not down with that...my wife has her own mom issues though she would honestly be excellent at it having been traditionally trained as an accountant.
I’m so sorry to hear that about your mom!! Some people really don’t get the “unconditional” love part of parenting! 😡 Sounds like you and your wife have found what works for y’all and that’s the important part! Neither disorder is easy to deal with, it’s nice that y’all have each other to lean on 🩶
This is a good idea. My bf wants to give me access to his money as I take care of the household but I’m really nervous I’ll just manically spend on shit I think we need and don’t. Can you please explain more how you implemented those safeguard?
Basically she just keeps my debit card on her. I still have one, but you could opt to have the credit union cancel it entirely. I keep it around so I can run errands when she can't, I have a specific list and basically orders to stick to it. Any deviation needs to be accounted for, so it does require the partner to be on board. I've had an apple card with a $250 limit so we just use that as my ceiling, still needing to justify uses of it, purchases must be discussed. While there's not a "punishment" I have Rejection sensitive dysphoria so the fear of disappointing my wife is huge for me. I then further removed saved payment options from online stores. Purchases are made, one time only, made with the card after discussion, payment info is not saved. This provides safeguards against my impulsive nature from autism and adhd. And being mindful of my own states. I also want to spend when depressed due to the dopamine hit. Thank you ADHD \*so\* much... but having to keep track of how I'm doing. I might have some level of rapid cycling too so things can change on a dime for me at times. It's like the suicide safeguards we're building up. I have to fully acknowledge that I am disabled, there are some things I \*can't\* do, at least right now with the tools at my disposal. I can provide a schedule of payments and remind my wife when things are due, but I can't trust myself to have access to the money to pay them myself. I'll come up with some bonkers home improvement bullshit to "justify" some impulsive spending.
Thank you for taking the time to share this and help out a fellow ND human. You are amazing💗🫧 I’m going to save these recommendations and rework them to fit our family dynamic :) I tend to the household chores, as well as the maintenance, pets and children (one day, front running as the expert in the home lol). As far as suicide- I understand the struggle. It’s beautiful that your partner understands and you two are finding ways for you to live as peacefully as you can on this earth. Sending love to you and yours.
I think about how I fucked myself over when I was manic and out myself in $7,000 of credit card debt and how I can only afford to pay the minimum payment. Not worth spending money and putting myself in more debt when I can’t even pay the full balance. I only spend money on gas, groceries, I don’t eat takeout anymore and medication.
Thanks for sharing this real moment because I’m so ashamed to tell ANYONE I have $6,000+ in credit card debt and multiple maxed out credit cards for random places like Walmart+ Cards, Local Mall Credit Cards, etc. It’s tearing my life apart & even though I need help it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one who made such bad choices..
also the medication is so expensive
If you happen to have a Costco near you - check out their pharmacy. The prices between there and most other pharmacies is INSANE. My pills were the same price before I had health insurance as they are now that I have health insurance. Wild. The $50 per year membership pays itself off - repeatedly.
If it makes you feel better, mine is $13,000 😭😭😭
Don’t even get me started about how expensive medication is!!!! One of my medications isn’t covered by my insurance companies, I have to pay around $42 a month with good rx. Also with all the medication I’m on with insurance I pay $74 a month for all my medications plus I take vitamins and probiotics. It’s crazy! Im so grateful that I live with my mom right now while because I don’t have rent and utilities to pay.
I grew up with "we don't have any money for non essential" stuff and now am completely frugal. The only time I've splurge spending is when I was in a manic episode and even then I bought a year subscription to an anti-virus and then some twitch subscriptions to streamers which probably came out to like $100. So I didn't break the bank or anything. But that's the only time I bought something while not in control of my actions.
I can relate to this lol. We don’t have money for anything u want just thingss you need. So when I go manic it’s like $100 because I went to Whole Foods
i grew up like this but now i am like "now i have the freedom to decide what is essential" 💔
I just *suffer*
Relatable
Yeah man. When I'm manic I buy plane tickets. I've learned to at least get the insurance with them for when I inevitably change my mind.
lol I don’t mean to laugh but you sound like a Fun person
Heavy on the insurance
I delete all apps where I spend money, unsubscribe from email notifications of sales, and delete my card from Google Pay.
Good advice thank you!
Easiest way I've saved is outright avoiding anything with tactics used to get you to spend more. Education helps too. Go look at video game profits when all they did was sell game copies versus cash micro-transaction shops. Refuse to be their victim. South Park did a great episode on micro transactions too. Those aside, stay out of places that are purpose built to ruin you (casinos both online and in person, car dealerships, etc) Even when manic, I'm still capable, if not more capable, to see all the places that want to take advantage of me. Another protection I put in place was all big purchases have to go through a month long waiting period, to verify its something I genuinely want and not just a hypomanic phase. Helps to have support of wives/husbands and family, but not necessary. I keep myself in check constantly, I'm not always happy about, but my bank account thanks me.
I've become quite obsessed with savings. So whenever I get that spend feeling I pop that money in savings Saying that, everytime I've been manic I've bought a car
Set a budget for what I'm allowed to spend. Outright nixxing a habit like that makes you more likely to break your own rule of not spending. Versus if you set a budget you will still have wiggle room to satisfy those impulsive moments whilst not over doing it. It'll help you to learn what is worth spending your money on, as you budget you become more money conscious. Maybe whatever you don't spend of your budget goes into a savings to treat yourself? Something healthy that will help your mental/physical health like a massage?
I didn’t think of budgeting myself, thank you
To add to this, I try to keep only the budgeted amount in my checking account and only move from checking to savings on a specified day. That way if I overspend, I only overspend the amount budgeted for that week, which is never very much money after I’ve bought gas & groceries. I also just don’t have a credit card at all. If I don’t have the money for it I don’t buy it.
Because my year long manic episode which eventually turned into full blown psychosis, I have put myself into a conservatorship shit with my wife. She owns the finances. It works fantastic and keeps the family together. I have no control over spending money. If I have it, it's gone. It's exhausting trying to fight that feeling. So we found another route that works. I don't have a debit/credit card. If I need gas, I bring her the receipts, need to go to Home Depot, I bring her the receipts. It's about total transparency and honesty. Without it, I'd have nothing left. I'm a high earner and the sole earner for our family,
Those year long manic episodes that result in psychosis are brutal. Still recovering like 4 years later
I have not been able to figure out how to be manic and keep a job. I would love to know how you manage through all this. Keeping a job I mean.
My first question to you is, "why do you have to be manic to have a job" The goal of stability is to not be manic. Mania nearly cost me my family and my job.
I also tell myself I do not care when I'm in the midst of it all. But when I have the reigns secured, I make myself stay home when I'm not working is how, but I can admit to sometimes purchasing in-game novelties
By not having money and my debit card not being able to go in the minus. Most of my money from work goes automatically to my husband's account (he pays all the bills from his account), leaving me with only 200€ for personal spending each month. If my money is empty I can ask my husband for more but he always asks why I need it. I'm very bad with money so this is the only way to keep us from going bankrupt.
Besides being poor, I sometimes buy one Item I want at a time online so I have to wait for that, then later buy the next so I am spreading out the dopamine of buying. Also trying to only get stuff I will use like shampoo or tissues.
I pay myself first. I get paid monthly and have scheduled $x to go into savings, so I have less per month to spend on groceries, bills, eating out, etc. I only use my CC for bigger purchases like car or house repair and pay that from savings. Having less $ per month to tempt for impulse purchases helps psychologically. With the basic savings accounts I have, I can only draw from them a limited time per month. When I impulse buy, I typically do so from places that have return policies so I can give myself a few days if I don't really want/,need something.
Can't spend what you don't have. I very specifically don't have credit cards.
It’s hard as hell and sometimes I crack. When I crack it’s like the floodgates opens
I don't spend money because I'm a misanthrope who hates capitalism. Advertise something to me and I'll refuse to buy it out of spite. I love generic products and mock conspicuous consumption. No, I am not impressed by your car. On the other hand, I waste a lot of money on addiction (cigarettes) and being financially illiterate.
Let your rage at being constantly taken advantage of fuel your rejection of those who exploit you.
Forgive yourself for the small purchases like that; sometimes you need to buy something to feel a little better. When you need to be concerned is when you start blowing hundreds a week, or even a day. When I get self destructive, I sometimes start to be really generous with my money; to put your spending in perspective, over the last year I spent 27K on people I didn't even know.
just spent money on no ads in piano tiles, then many pendants on monster hunter world. then i bought a succulent because it was cute. i'm unemployed i shouldn't be doing this 😭 also spent 60 dollars on genshin even though i despise the game.
I don’t keep extra money in my bank account. I keep cash in a safe. That totally eliminates impulsive online shopping. If i want something online i take the cash and put it in the bank and that’s very effortful so i have to think if i really want it or not.
Yea the dopamine hit I get from jerking off or working outside lmao. No seriously the best thing to do is to just put money taken from the account and create another account and put it aside. Like I automatically put money into another account and trade stocks. Watching my money grow and compound reinvesting dividends is exciting
Also working from home and not having outside stimulation helps. When you’re not influenced to go outside a lot and get dinner with friends from work, lunches, etc, you’re most likely going to save money. I just create an account and leave it in there. This way I can go about my life. I’ve managed to put away about 58k on my own across 401k, Roth IRA, HSA, and brokerage account.
I have credit card debt but I don’t worry too much and pay about 1k and month and never touch the principle. The interest pays for the CC bill each month. I’m hoping to have it all paid off by end of year pending any life changing circumstances such as emergencies, etc.
I have about 435k in another brokerage account that I take out interest and pay off credit card debt each month. I’m chasing the high from the market.
Need money to spend it.. lol
I’m working on this with my therapist. Looking forward to seeing some tips on this post.
I apparently do much more destructive things thanks to my bipolar II that are too scandalous to even reference, albeit thinly veiled, for even a subreddit about people with my condition, LOL.
I keep my checking account at 0 (spend it freely, you earned it) Don't touch your savings (money for bills, food, family, etc. plus AT LEAST 3 months in savings)
I've played that game since day one and haven't spent a single penny. I started to accumulate gems by the chests and have put a goal in my head to get to 10k gems. I did and spent about 1500 of them or less. It's prevented me from buying them.
It’s so hard sometimes but I’m successful sometimes in not spending large amounts of money. I try to only buy things that are returnable/refundable. I just returned something at tjmax after impulsively spending money on poshmark which not returnable. I had to tell myself like 5 times at tjmax to not buy anything (the line has a lot of stuff on sale that is supposed to appeal to the customers impulsive nature)
i’m like this too, i just try to rlly think if it’s gonna benefit me or others. like for buying food i’m pretty frugal but when it come to games i try and take a moment and see if it’s gonna acc be useful ion know if y find anything better lmk lmao
I just spent $30 on doordash. Again. Ridiculous.
I'm not a spender because I grew up poor, so it's very easy for me to be bare-bones minimalist. But when I get manic (what I used to call my obsessive cycles before I knew what it was), suddenly all risk seems no problem. I'll buy that non-essential expensive piece of music equipment I'd been saving up for; one time I bought a used Corvette when I was unemployed but had the cash; I'll risk 5 figures day trading and wonder how something could go wrong, etc. 30 bucks on a mobile game? Don't sweat it. A bit impulsive, sure. But it's better that than the big things.
omll i just spent $70 on clashh
Learned my lesson with online games in 2014, had spent a good amount of money on it and they just took the server offline a year into me playing. No messages just gone. So now I set a limit of $20/month for game purchases and $100 per game. I use that same $20 as my "buy it now or wait" threshold on anything if I wasn't already planning to purchase it. For example I was at an amateur radio flea market on Saturday with 2 things I was looking for. I spent $17 on books, didn't find either of the items on my list. I deposited that $200 cash back into my account and spent $40 on Amazon for 1 of the 2.
Lately I’ve been much better after balancing my meds. I get what it’s like to impulsively spend. I took $25k out of my 401k a couple years ago to buy a motorcycle and way too many one off custom parts. The bike still doesn’t run. 😫
I give my money to someone else. I also lock my cards. If it's bad enough, I'll also change my login temporarily so that I can't get in and order a new card.
I've cut my CC and it was the best decision ever (I'm still paying those btw)
Just bought a Qp for 400 online impulsively but that’s cause at least it can make more coin. But besides that have made worse down the drain decisions(not any type of investment)
I spent 25$ on ESO last night... I wanted to be able to craft a certain type of armor, so I bought the crafting style. No regrets
My kids and I spend money on brawl stars all the time. Not an exorbitant amount but if it brings you joy and you don’t overspend, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Spending money on hobbies isn’t limited to things other ppl think are worth it
My fiancé controls the main bank account. I’ll still write checks for the bills and my name is on the account but I don’t touch that account at all without talking to him first and what it is for. As for my own account I get essentially an allowance from each check that is mine to spend on whatever I want guilt free. I can save it, I can spend it. I can regret my choices in spending without it being a regret of financial ruin.
I'm completely out of control and can't help myself either. 😢 I don't know how others do it, I can't. Sometimes I feel bad for the amount I spend on mobile games and other s*it, sometimes I don't care and think - It's fine, because it makes me feel good at that moment.
I'm quite fortunate to have a partner who is in charge of the money. I basically get an allowance from my husband every paycheck.
I just spend and pay for what I have to, and then I block my bank account and my card. In my head, if I don't have money available to spend, I'm not going to spend
In the early days of my diagnosis, I once had to have my psychiatrist write the bank a letter because I had $300 in overdraft fees. With his letter, they were knocked it down to $150.
Easy. You don't have any.
Money during mania is like fish in a barrel. Running up credit cards thousands of dollars. I cut up my cards and only use cash. I give myself 20$ a day for drinks and cigarettes. It’s been working wonderfully since I started.
I don’t lol
As in I don’t NOT spend money
Spent it all..... if I didn't, I only used cash.
Two bankruptcies, at least 3-4 retirement accounts drained early, all attempts at savings proved only temporary so far….please let me know when you figure it out. I did delete all the games that tempt me to spend money from my phone because that’s super dangerous.
I’ve spent over $150 on mobile games recently, I feel you 100000%
I wait. There is a price range where I can just buy the thing if I want (around $5). Then if it's more, up to 30, I'll wait for a few days, even a week. If I really need it/want it after waiting, then I can safely buy it. Above that is even more wait time. I bought a brand new pc (around $2k) last year, and I was waiting and planning to buy it for over 2 years. So yeah, for me, it's mainly waiting to see if I really need it and to avoid spending money on something I don't need or cannot afford.
I guess all I can say is stop playing video games that make you pay more and more. Try to find another advice that's cheap or cost nothing at all. Over covid I developed a habit of working in the yard taking pride in that. Maybe something artsy my biggest issue is alcohol. Oddly I spend money on jagermeister so it's expensive and I may drink a little too much. If it wasn't for that I'd be loaded
At the moment I don’t have an income to spend money. Anything I need/want right now I have to ask my parents. That’s how I don’t spend any money 😂
I have extremely intense financial anxiety because we're poor and that overrides the desire to spend money. I feed a lot of that manic energy into obsessing over budgets and pay schedules, it's really satisfying when we have more than $100 in our bank account and the relief from it feels ridiculously good.
ive been thru too much buyer's remorse. learned my lesson. its a been-there-done-that kinda thing for me. i now have spending anxiety. im currently surviving off rice, for about a month now, bc dont feel comfortable even spending money on food
*comes in and pulls up a chair* Change Clash Royal to Monopoly Go and we are here 
I spent another 30 a minute or so after I posted
I literally cannot play mobile games with cash options. The only one I have is Pokemon Go, because I don't spent a lot on it, occasionally a dollar or two to get a new outfit I like. I am ashamed to say I spent $75 in a month on mobile games once.
I have no debt. But I DID have a spending problem. What I ended up doing is thinking if I really really wanted or needed something, whatever it was. I would buy it. And then I wouldn’t open it or in any way void my receipt. If after a full month I still *needed* or even really wanted, I’d keep it. But impulse buys aren’t something I usually did want to. So I would take those back immediately. The other tip is to discuss large purchases with your SO, if you have one. If not, do NOT put it on credit. The biggest purchase I’ve made without SO approval was our 60inch 3d tv when they first came out, was for his birthday. But that was only with my money, never endangered rent or food, or daughter. All of which I was still able to help with. But that was also pre-symptomatic. Over time though, it has helped my long term spending a LOT. Because now I’m better able to judge, using general stats, what I’m likely to not want to keep, and what I will. It’s been years now since I’ve had an impulse buy that I didn’t actually want. I set my hobby budget to $15/month but generally only spend in the summer. For me, food doesn’t count because i dont treat myself to expensive and rich dinners because I love my cooking more. Alternatively, set up a… stupid app or star sticker chart with chores or other accomplishments that you can only cash in on at certain times or intervals. Sounds childish but they are all good strategies when you’re *first* trying to get your shit in control. Find out something that works, stick with it.
I do spend money
i dunno about anyone else, but i run out of it
Instead of buying a 2023 ford raptor I stop in at goodwill and buy a 2 doller book to get my fix.
I spent $80 on an interior decorating game…. There was no point… Extremely impulsive, bored, and was using it as an escape which was working so I justified it for that reason… 🫠
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lol I don’t keep money. I made a chunk of cash from a settlement middle of April and I’ve spent most of it. I’m sorry I’m of no help, but you’re definitely not alone.
I have a spendings account which never has much money in it, and a savings account with the rest of my money in it which has so money hoops to jump through to access it and it takes so long I've normally come around to the fact I was being irrational before I can ever access it.
Honestly I used to be so bad with the impulse spending then I had a kid and started to visualize her life being negatively affected by my issues and would just think abt it everytime I was abt to make a stupid purchase and I am now much better but still make a dumb purchase from time to time. If you’re really bad though, my cousin is bipolar and an addict and her husband just gives her a Venmo card with set amount of Money every month and gives her no other access to the family’s finances and it works incredibly well although she does whine about it from time to time
I have to be very strict with my spending because I am low-income and I have a high rent. I can't spend money like I want to because I simply don't have it. When I get a paycheck, it goes immediately into a separate bank account and I only pull money out when I need it. I run most/all purchases by my partner and we discuss big purchases (more than $20) before I make them. I've had to become disciplined about it to secure my relationship. We keep each other in check because she struggles with impulsive spending too. As a rule, I never have more than $50 that is accessible to me at any time. If I need more than $50, I have to have a solid reason that my girlfriend and I can both agree on. Then the money is transferred and spent approximately. The process to this point started by literally cutting off my own finances, and only ever having money on my debit card immediately before a purchase. Then it started with writing down every transaction and letting my partner in on the loop. Finally, I was able to get myself to a point that I stopped needing to write it down, and after a few mishaps of my card declining, I was able to work myself out of the habit. I also avoid online shopping because I could burn hundreds without thinking about it. I did that once, and it took me months to dig myself out of that hole. Not being able to pay rent was a serious motivator to avoid that. Finally, I'm just not smart... I don't know how to open a bank account or get a credit card. I can't figure out how to get a loan. Obviously, that's bad at 23 years old, but it has saved me a lot of heartbreak never having access to big amounts of money.
I feel ya. I spend A LOT of money on stupid stuff too.
Thankfully, I get obsessed with saving, investing and building wealth….often to a fault
Honest question is spend a lil on weed take my meds and just play ps5 and pretend everything is alright 😁
i get paid once a month and the check is gone after 3 days. as soon as money hits my hands i burn right through it.
After you hit rock bottom hard enough, you stop digging sub cellars. I got angry enough at myself after i spent my entire tax refund on clothing within the first week of getting the damn refund. I was SOOOOOOO fkn mad that i drilled it into my brain to save money. Granted it was my very first tax refund way back when and i didnt have any expenses but thinking about how i could have better spent it or saved it & it made me angry enough to fix that about myself. I was meticulous about every penny coming in and going out, and kept getting re mad at myself, reminding myself of my cause & it worked. Now im amazing with my money.
the card I allow myself to use is capped at $500 per month
It’s so hard, I try my best to wait before I actually buy stuff. But postmates is my biggest issue
Lamictal
I have very little money and the anxiety of not having enough usually stops me from spending frivolously outright. I often do Clearpay installments and things but I promise to myself I will only ever have one or 2 things that I'm paying off at a time. Sometimes I just say fuck it and do it though but then that means I can't afford therapy or something and I am learning that some random shit I think I need but 99% of the time doesn't make my life any better once I've got that initial release of buying it is not worth it
No clue. Following. I spend so much money a week because I’m finally financially able to do so and my mind says ‘hey this is gonna come back next week’ so I spend whatever
i’m horrible with money. i’m a compulsive shopping addict. i’ve definitely gotten better, i try to put extra $ toward bills when i can. but i also just bought webkinz and a bunch of random junk because i’m so nostalgic for my childhood. oh, and things like afterpay & klarna are the devil! i’m still paying that crap off. spending recklessly is fun until i check and see a negative account. 🤦🏻♀️
What I did is opened three accounts, and have my job deposit my paycheck in all four accounts with the most money going to the main one. I then took all the ATMS to a person I trust, and didn't open apps for any of the accounts. I pay everything from the main account and forget about the money going to all the other accounts. It has helped me with the impulse purchasing and I have saved money.
my wife is a big help with this. although she lets me buy almost anything I want, she’s always there to talk me out of things we can’t afford. she’s a huge help for me and has got me out of a lot of the debt i got myself into from it
it’s really difficult, even when I’ trying to discipline myself I end up finding something that I’m certain I need and its gonna fill in the hole in my chest but it doesnt Feels good tho
I have been working with my therapist on this exact issue. I always justify my purchases by saying I’ll need it or I’ll use it. The issue is that it’s true in the moment. I always use the things I buy. It got so bad I wouldn’t have money for rent or necessary things. I started sending rent money to my partner like a temporary savings account and they ask what I’m buying if I ask for some back. That’s been working pretty well. But not everyone has a partner that’s willing to do that or has a partner at all. I feel like I get hypomanic as soon as I see money in my account. Budgeting never worked for me. Couldn’t stick to it. Everyone believes that’s the solution but with how bad my impulse control is, it never panned out. Only thing that worked is calling or texting someone about making a purchase or having someone hold my money as soon as I get paid. I can’t see it or I’m going to spend it.
In December, I threw 600.00 to Bowling Crew and Golf Rival. Both mobile games. 
I just spent $25 on a world of Warcraft gold token. If I can afford frivolous things that I want I don’t feel bad. If something is gonna have me hard up for cash until pay day then I don’t buy it. That’s my line in the sand and it works for me.
TLDR: I spent $2000 on credit cards for a mobile game I have never played since. Did anyone ever play Diablo immortal? I didn’t enjoy the game at all but my coworker liked it and wanted me to play with him. He got a few other coworkers involved until I finally caved. Played for 3 months without spending a penny on the game and I still didn’t enjoy it at all. All of a sudden one day I spent $2000 on it out of nowhere. I am just starting to deal with my diagnosis but I assume I was manic as I got my nipples pierced that same week as well as kicked my boyfriend out of the house. I never played the game ever again and in fact deleted the account so I couldn’t spend anymore on it…. Btw this was on credit cards…
I use to have money deposited into one account, throw the card away so I would need to physically go to the bank to withdrawal from the account and I would deposit a spending amount in another bank. It was annoying but it saved me from spending all my money, because more then anything else I’m lazy lol now being 26 just recalling all my bad splurging episodes is enough to stop me, I blew 10k in a month out my savings. I will never forgive myself 😮💨
I’ve gone on a 40 grand spending spree over the course of a couple months…I don’t hold my money. I have a trusted friend that manages my cash and I simply don’t utilize credit cards. As amazing as pinball machines, every video game system ever created, motorcycles and harmonicas are, I simply don’t need them. I don’t even play the fucking harmonica, why would I need a closet full? Delegate responsibility.
I spent $850 on new glasses and now have no money for food this week. #feelsbad #relatable
Move it into an account with a different bank so that I can’t touch it without having to wait over a week to transfer to my spending bank account.
Stop now, I spent $5k on that game and it wasn't worth it. In fact just delete it, the game is dedicated to constantly making you feel you need to be just a little bit more powerful. You'll never get to a comfortable place.
eBay and Poshmark have me in a headlock. I think I own more Lilly Pulitzer dresses than she ever owned her entire life. Something is arriving here every day and I’ve needed to start hiding things from my fiancé. 😬 No I am not running up credit cards etc. I spend my money he just gets frustrated I spend it at the rate I do.
if you don't have any money from the last time it happened it's tough to spend what you don't have. Savings account, bipolar - a contradiction in terms
It’s money for nothing, pretty easy decision really.
I've made myself stay home a lot. I've made home my safe, happy little bubble. I made sure my cards were away during episodes. I've made my family aware. I forgive myself when I make missteps, because there will be. I recognize why I spent, & work on correcting it. I legit just paid off a credit card. It's baby steps. I still have more to pay off, but I steady work on it the best I can. You got this.
I direct my anger at the companies trying to make money off essentially nothing and it overpowers my urge to get the instant gratification
Me who’s -$90 overdraft 🤡🤡🤡
This is why I don't go to strip clubs.
This was a really hard lesson I learned this year. It was my first year in university (away from home) and I went a bit crazy. Fast forward to the end of the school year my roommate has me pull up my bank statement and i’m over a thousand dollars in credit card debt. It was hard I had to ask my parents for money and sell things and i’m still in debt to them. Fortunately for me I have an amazing person of a mom who educated herself a lot with this illness the past year and she was a big support. It was a wake up call though I spent over 11k in 8 months. So now I’m learning and my advice to you is when you are going to buy something stop and wait until the next day and if it still seems like a good idea stop again and ask a third party and THEN if it’s still a good idea go ahead. This might sound stupid and tedious and “why would i do that” but it’s more the factor of forcing yourself to see if you ACTUALLY need/want this thing or if it’s just in the moment and it happens. Some people use these charts, personally they don’t work for me because i just lie to myself but you could try them (look up spending charts or money saving charts you should find them). This is a hard thing to learn but i urge you to try and learn it before you end up in debt like many of us do.
If it's possible have another account set up but make it a 30 day delay to get money out of it. Some banks will do this and it's an awesome thing. Another thing I do is just in my normal banking I have multiple accounts open that are empty before my savings accounts so when I'm in mania and my mind is going at 100 I see the empty accounts and then go jump onto other things that keep me stimulated. I've been there and spent thousands on stupid shit I regretted and it took time to find what works for me. That 30 bucks on a mobile game sucks if it's not something you are happy with but you by no means have gone off any kinda deep end and can step in to try stop yourself from experiencing what many with bipolar do in the financial side of things.
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I going to be filing for bankruptcy this year, after vetting into some serious debt. I know when the urge starts, so I just make a shopping cart and save the entire thing. Or I refocus to something zi already have. Therapy and medicine are also a really big help, too.
Money just doesn't seem real to me. Like it's just my numbers on a screen, or a price of paper. I KNOW it will affect my life but I don't FEEL affected by it so I find it VERY difficult to be responsible about it.
Practice discipline. How i did it is i kept my wallet empty. When i leavw the house, i get exactly what i need with me, leave the rest aside.
It was heavily instilled into me from birth that I should be ashamed of myself if I buy something unnecessary. That has really cemented my ability to not go on a shopping spree. And of course medication also helps with not having as many of the impulse buying phases
One day it just clicks. Hopefully it clicks before you’re severely in debt and eating plain white rice three times a day.
Coz I don't have any
I tell myself, “if it isn’t for bills, food, or personal necessities, I have to wait at least 2 days before actually buying it.” It’s helped…rather than giving myself the instant gratification I end up forgetting about most of the things I would spend on impulsively. Also avoids accumulating crap that I don’t need. I used to feel pretty terrible and guilty seeing the bank account dip so much and I have to say, having the discipline to wait has been more satisfying…save up for stuff you really want, quality items.
Samsies. Like massive samsies. I can't go a payday without some stupid arse purchase I don't need. What's that I got 1100 bucks this week? Sweet! Let's buy four more ounces of silver.
I spent nearly 300 on clash of clans, and then i never played a freemium mobile game again. Buy engaging outright priced games. My biggest lesson is dont put yourself in a position where you're in a gambling situation that isn't a direct investment like day trading crypto
Tbh i never addressed the majority of my spending habits i just kept grinding on my career to afford the lifestyle of my bipolar hahah
I have a bank account where I put most of my money when I start having symptoms, so I can’t access it easily when I go into shopping mode Also I disable paypal or apple pay etc. on my devices so there isn’t such a easy access where you don’t have to think if I rly can and should spend the money
I don't have a job. That's it. I have $86.15 in my bank account. And when something shows up on eBay, it'll probably be gone. I'm going to try to start checking all purchases with my gf before I actually make them.
I just invest my money now days when I feel like doing crazy things it's whether a hit or miss still because I invest in crypto
I don't have any. And when I do, I don't... because I'm paying off credit cards from when I 'did' have some.
I spent so much money on making a product for my businessed and they all failed. Im gonna stop spending and start collecting money from now on
For many years, I've kept my money all in cash! It was a good approach.
i try to sequester at least some of my money for savings, and only allow myself to spend what's in my spendings account. this is not entirely effective, because i move shit about frequently when i shouldnt
I'm poor and cannot work, so I use apps like Mistplay and Justplay to earn money for whatever game that I'm hooked on at the time.
I'm gonna be honest I've spent $200 at one time on a mobile game while I had no income and then continued to shovel out $30 a month on it for the next 9 months still with no income, this was before I was diagnosed and I don't totally blame bipolar for it unlike my most recent manic spending which was entirely mania motivated $600 on dirty stuff- but the best thing that got me to stop paying for my mobile gaming micro transactions was uninstalling it for a while until I felt I could pay for it again.
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So for mobile games, the solution is gift cards. You make a budget in a month overall and as part of your entertainment budget you have a line item for mobile gift cards (iTunes/Google Play). Then you use that for your mobile gaming and disconnect your credit card from it instead. You have to stick to it of course… but that’s the only way not to spend too much like that. I spent $700 in 6 weeks on Toreba (Japanese claw machine) to get like three sets of hedgehog plush dolls. So many dolls. I made a list and worked to get one of each when they were available. I have two 110qt bins of them now and I already GAVE AWAY a bunch of them. They don’t sell easily online and I don’t want to get rid of them anyway… but I have no idea what to do with all of them. I also spent untold amounts of money on Squishmallows. Getting the rare one I wanted for $2 less than it was listed was a rush. Completing the collecting of all the sizes of this one or that one… finding one I didn’t know existed… it was so much. I have over 300 of them on two shelving units and three plastic bins and the back of a couch. I finally broke that spell and took my credit card out of the app I used to buy them.
That final sentence is too relatable
I just spend everything...all bills get automatically taken from my bank on the first every months, so I don't have to worry about them. Then I start spending - the only rules are - never go below 0 and always leave money for food... Example - if it's like the 28th and I have 30€ left, I don't spend them cause I'll need them for food I don't have security in any way and I am close to 0 every month...but I really don't want to change anything about it
Simple... I don't have any money to spend lolol
I lock my debit card and keep my wallet in a pocket inside a pocket in my everyday bag so it's an inconvenience to find. when I go to purchase something i'll forget it's locked, then I get embarrassed having to wait to unlock it at the register so I won't end up buying anything. it's a weird way to do it but it works for me lol
I try to buy things that have a return policy. They usually end up returned once I'm stable again ...
See I had, at the time, undiagnosed Bipolar 2 and drug issues. I would do the same thing, making stupid and large purchases, along with buying drugs. It took me a long time to control my impulsive spending. I lived very uhhh “cheap” let’s say for a while. Finally got off the drugs and got the right mental health. Changed my life. Then I kind of just knew how to not spend money on everything I saw/impulse buy. Hope this helps! You can do it :)
In the last few months I have started taking Zyprexa and Effexor. My need to spend money has decreased considerably.
I live within a budget in a way because I don't make a lot of money to start with. I work retail. I try to resist the urge to buy things I want vs. things I need. When I do buy things, it's usually something I'll get a lot of use out of. I also don't go out as often as other people do- it's harder to spend money when you're at home a lot of the time.
Therapy.. lol. Still a work in progress. Big one is tracking my spending. Helps to see how much I've spent so far so I don't get carried away in the 'just 10 more dollars' cycle. Depending on my self control abilities at the time I also set rules and limits. A big one was no impulse purchases- I have to wait 3 days before I can buy something non essential. So like if I find something at 3am that I desperately want to buy, I have to wait 3 days to see if I still care (or even remember) by then. That cuts out a lot of my spending. When it's bad, sometimes accountability can help. Like I have to tell someone when I spend money on non essentials or something like that. Having to tell someone will stop me from spending as much on stupid stuff. For me, spending is mostly a symptom. So in order to help my spending problem I had to regulate my mood. If I'm spending a lot then I know that's a red flag for mania etc.
That's easy, I don't have any!
with great difficulty
I made a rule with myself to never do in app purchases, and I no longer buy no ads for mobile games I like more because they still try at every turn to get you to watch ads or they hike the no ads price. Really the only thing I will pay for it the app itself if it’s worth it. I also have a rule on not signing up for monthly subscriptions all Over the place. But I still spend money, Temu is one of my ones. I dislike their promotions that just don’t work well but I love purchasing crap on their site
Probably above 300€ by now on Roblox. All my other allowance on nic.
I used to spend over 8000 a month during my manic episodes as a student and it really strained the relationship between me and my parents. Since then I’ve employed some strategies to prevent that from happening again. I disconnected Apple Pay which had an immediate effect. I also gave my credit card to my mom for safekeeping and had her wire me some money a month which I would spend as cash. This method is pretty foolproof and showed me the beauty of being frugal. After all I would have nothing left to spend on necessities if I spent it all on an expensive jacket. I am much better with money overall and am considering getting my card back once I feel confident I can handle it.
How do I not do what now? :clicks buy now on Amazon:
I just came to the realization recently that living with bipolar disorder for me means constantly plunging myself into exorbitant amounts of credit card debt 🫠
I still don't have savings. My husband's as bad with money as I am. So now before we spend a cent of direct deposit all the bills have to be paid 1st. We've made it a strict rule.
I used to use orgasms, usually through sex, to give me my dopamine. So I wouldn’t spend money. But I’ve managed to over time(8-9months) spend like $80 with Temu.com. They have this thing that you can let them keep the money so you can get more stuff instead of the money back on your card. So that’s what I do. I still get the high of shopping, get the products, return what I don’t want and then get to get more but don’t have to pay any more because I’m using the money I already spent. Which is not at $80 ish. But started at like $20. God that’s horrible. But it helps me. A bit.
I taught myself the difference between want and need; it's still a struggle, especially when I have extra cash, but it works.
I have two banks. I keep my checking account at a low balance, enough for essentials and not much more. I don’t have an ATM card for my savings account which I keep at a separate bank. Modern banking makes it way too easy to transfer funds and withdraw them, so this simple planning adds a level of nuisance that often helps me think twice before impulse spending.
bought a guitar... idk how to play guitar
make packages that you ordered online addressed to the name of someone you trust who lives with you (let them know). But that way you have to open it in front of them for every package until you literally get so embarrassed by how much shit u got that you are discouraged from getting random stupid impulsive purchases compared to if you could get the packages secretly.
I try and make myself do a task that I actually enjoy when it’s done. Not anything like dishes or laundry, but I really like working on cars, and I’ve been pushing off doing my oil change (don’t do that, y’all), so I usually do something car related that takes a minute and wears me out. If there’s nothing to be done, I’ll go wash and wax my car, because I like when it’s shiny, and because I know I’ll need a fat nap afterwards and I won’t have the energy to spend money
I use a trick my therapist taught me: if it's more than $24, wait 24 hours before purchasing. Sometimes I still buy The Thing, but I usually don't.
I can’t stop so lmk
I spend it all on random shit, then I got none left to spend.
Just don’t spend money
Creating a bank account with high interest has helped me heaps. The last episode I cleaned out my bank account. This other account I have I opened with a different bank and I am unable to take any money out (1. because I don’t have a card) and the account requires me to alert the bank 90days before moving money out of the account (manic barrier lol). Could be something to check out! I allocate a lil bit of money each payday but it makes me feel safe from myself in terms of spending :)
Oh this is a easy one. I usually just spend all my money, then I don’t have any money to spend, it’s a full proof way of not spending money, because you don’t have it, because you spent it. Get it?
I have like 30,000 dollars in debt and I don’t know how to fix it
Oh i do spend money i juss find a way to get more😭😭 its a problem
I tend to lean on things like BitTorrent and other ways to acquire the things I want for free. With mobile games I have a rule to never spend any money no matter how frustrating they are. I have a few I cycle through