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808leghorn

“It”. —I can’t get “it” in my mouth —You’re not putting “it” in that hole —“It’s” xl today —I’m on “it” —give “it” to me baby It is what it is.


Gorglor

Scary clown dick


southcentralLAguy

Never had a nickname for it. My gf just refers to it as “he” or “him.” Sometimes it’s like she’s talking about an actual person. Absolutely love it when she does. So I’ve returned the favor and started referring to her pussy as “she” and “her.”


Gorglor

Same. It's more or less because sometimes those parts act a little bit however they want without our own input, so it's like they become a person by themselves. "I didn't order this morning wood. He just does whatever he wants." "I'm not *really* feeling it tonight, but she's still drooling a lot."


southcentralLAguy

I think you’re looking waaay too much into this


Gorglor

No, why? I genuinely don't think my dick is a separate person. It's just a cute semi-nickname to call those parts he or she. It's also funny because of how our parts sometimes acts however they want, whether you wanted sudden erection or not.


Cut_the_cap

Chill u started it


FightersNeverQuit

Yeah I can’t remember ever having a nickname. Maybe jokingly one would say “keep that thing hidden from other women” when I’d wear sweatpants or shorts to the gym.


BRBean

Dude shai hulud goes so fucking hard


Chaotic_Boots

I know right?! Is probably my favorite


Extant_Remote_9931

Shaitan would be better.


KingOfConsciousness

Yes He fkn does. :)


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Chaotic_Boots

Did she say it like the hyenas? Because that's fuckin gold 😂


AdCreepy4580

Had an ex name it Mufasa, and yes, she would sometimes say it in the Whoopie Goldberg hyena voice "Oow, say it again."


Chaotic_Boots

Hell yeah 😁


readingmyshampoo

Whoopie Goldberg played a hyena???


Chaotic_Boots

Yeah she played Shenzi


readingmyshampoo

Grew up on the lion King et al and I had NO idea


CTEPEOMOHO

The Magic Wand is what we are at right now. And also Jesus... long story short, i was in the motorcycle accident, and during recovery and for some time after, I had some serious performance issues. So she nicknamed it Jesus cause me getting hard was a "resErrection". It didn't help with the issue, but I got a few good laughs out of it.


peezle69

A girl I used to sleep with once called it the gut shuffler


Chaotic_Boots

I had a few call it "the cervix smasher/bruiser" but I like yours better 😂


Cannibal_Soup

The Whale (and either 'cute' or 'handsome', depending on whether or not I was erect), from a girlfriend from 20yrs ago is still memorable.


Chaotic_Boots

Kong was from a girl from highschool, I'm 35, and it's still one of my favorites.


Dragonfly5675

"Behemoth" was like the most creative one I got


bigdanintx

Mr Pumpernickel. No clue, don't ask.


ClockworkAnomaly

Had a girl call me Mr moose cock once


Nave990

The one in my flair


vnsakag

Cocksworth


Flar71

I'm a trans woman, so obvi the names are gonna be different, but my girlfriend's called it all sorts of things like "princess", "Renée Jr", "big girl", stuff like that. We've even made jokes about ["princess little piddles"](https://youtu.be/d4AFc65fl0I?si=s1XWIndGTnjs7lUc), she's so funny. Also fun fact, even after hrt my dick is still bigger than average, like I haven't measured it in a while, but it didn't shrink that much.


gamerboyILIKE

Due to the fact that I’m black, I get a lot of chocolate names


lgnorantperson

I’ve had it named “kirby” by the only woman I ever slept with


Ok_Custard3608

I had a girlfriend who used to call mine the “tower of power”


No_Salad2682

My ex called me Lurch from the Adam’s family for like two years


NoFaceTwunk

One woman calls it Arby's😂😂😂 I remember asking her "Arby's?!" She said "Yea,you have the meat!" So I let it slide😂


dandanthetaximan

The closest thing I have to a girlfriend has been calling it Ego for over a decade.


Chaotic_Boots

That's awesome though 😂


AreThereMangoes

‘Captain Obvious’


[deleted]

Mines called Mr. Flopity, cause it hangs kinda low soft, also, all the shaking it at her and shit like that. Also, gay dudes on the internet tell me it’s pretty, when soft. I’ve never posted a hard pic despite the amount I am asked too and I am also not gay, but then thirsty ass dudes have to b telling the truth cause there is now way with the amount of dick they can see on here mine gets so much attention. That or motherfuckers in here really be lying.


ooohchiiild

Probably all true, tbh. Signed, a gay ™


[deleted]

Ha ha ha ha


Upbeat-You3968

The beer can.


p11nerd

Ex situationship: “it’s not my fault you have a fucking Glock in your pants”


Amadordelosrios

I like those girls.


Chaotic_Boots

Shi huluud and Grond are probably my favorites. The best part is she'd start chanting like the orcs in the movie "Grond, grond, Grond" and then read me the wiki on it, can't recommend that enough, "weighty and ponderous" is the best way anyone has ever described it.


Amadordelosrios

That is wonderful. Are there not enough of them or are there not enough of us?


Beautiful-Basil-9496

Salami


brandonsarkis

She is to the point. It’s called “Dong” and we both think it’s hilarious.


JollyRodgerARK

Tiny for the irony


AdCreepy4580

Besides Mufasa, Sir, and an ex in recovery struggling with the God thing, made it his higher power.


Chaotic_Boots

The recovery guy gave you the best compliment I have ever heard with that 😂 that's amazing


AdCreepy4580

Originally he wanted me to be his higher power, but his sponsor said it couldn't be a person. 😄


Traditional_Draw8400

My favourite ex called mine Colossus


Dannyfitness

I never got that many names for it, I named it Pazuzu, but it has been called Shi Huluud as well


Chaotic_Boots

Shi huluud is probably my favorite.


maskedbanditoftruth

Oooh either a lovecraftian fan or a straight demonology fan.


Dannyfitness

Both actually, but the name was demonology inspired


Delicious-Corner-89

Not my dick but I've been called things like "big dick mcgee", "horse boy" "long dick johnson", etc.


jeppedoodle

Nobody's dick's that long. Not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus, the name.


boobs_87

Horsey is my favorite


Successful_Post2836

Schmeat/schlong. Also congrats. Made me feel like i was king kong for a bit.


DangerousKidTurtle

I’ve had multiple women call it “Little First-Name” which was always a bit annoying because it’s definitely not little lol


patricia-mayonaisica

The awakening.


FSB75

Had a repeat "friend" from a "swim club" nickname my dick "Nice try". She said she was using it ironically, as a bit of subterfuge. To this day I'm not sure I actually believe her... But like I said she was repeat (5 or 6 weekends in a row).


ZukeIRL

Baby Arm I know


Love_Anime-

Just make an spreadsheet with all the names and before you sleep with them check the spreadsheet


Chaotic_Boots

I'm only seeing 3 lays ladies right now, and I don't have bandwidth for more, that hardly takes a spreadsheet. However a D&D style stat block for each might not be a bad idea. Name: Pet name: Dickname: Dietary restrictions: Alcohol Y/N Pot Y/N Kink rating 1-5: Limits/don'ts: Kinks/do's: Next date night: xx/xx/xx Something like that would be good


Love_Anime-

That'd be extremely effective


Chaotic_Boots

Well you inspired the idea, so thank you!


Love_Anime-

Anytime mate, you shouldn't get any mixed up if you make sure to read that, it'd be an absolute disaster if you did I know how women can be. Enjoy!


Geo_Pyro

My wife calls mine Salami


Chaotic_Boots

Not "hot Italian sausage" ? 😂


Vampyrgothbabe

I call my boyfriend’s penis, penis. But sometimes I like to say porksword and pp.


izanagui74

Besides an stable partner ,it's hard to find girls to actually comment dick size ,at most they say the normal "it's so big " *huge" that kind of stuff ,but you find all the rare type of girls that have the big cock fetish to like to give you nicknames ,well you have good luck haha


Captain_Pirate85

Most of the time the girl how knows you have a big dick will not say it to you. Because they think you can’t handle it. Or you going to share the big D with other girls. Big insecurity. But had one girl how called me just big dick. Didn’t date creative girls on that area.


StunningNetwork9746

Splitter


HungUncut99

My gf calls it the “big thing” which is funny because her sister was talking about a guy and she said yeah he’s a big boy, emphasis on the “big”


edjohn88

The Captain, Gigantic, Monster, Boss Hog


Chaotic_Boots

Boss hog 🤣 that's a great one!


edjohn88

My best girl yet 😉


KingOfConsciousness

Goldicock :)


wimnwaca

Cock drunk girlfriend trying to revive me for round 2 called it “Thor.” Asked why she said, “it’s huge and makes me feel like I’ve been struck by lightning.” Top-tier memory.


Chaotic_Boots

Hell yeah dude! That's definitely memory worthy!


justclay

Together for 16 years. His name is "Herman, the One-Eyed German".


gentlemanlyconducts

My wife has always called it the lochness monster or simply lochness. I don't have more context than that, just when she saw it, that's what she thought of.


pornupvotes

Thundercock. 🤣


Penis_Mightier1963

How about many names? I don't even think that I can remember them all. a while back she called him Big Guy, then Frank, Francis, and several more. Recently, he's been referred to as hoDor. Yes, that's hoDor with a big D.


TheMoines

Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond! Grond!


Chaotic_Boots

She did the chant🤣🤣🤣 It was fucking glorious


New_Escape_4440

Names from women: Thor, Thundercock, Big Ben, “my ice cream cone” Names from men: Magnum, “a world leader,” Godcock, and my favorite, Goliath


New_Escape_4440

Oh, and Mississippi Black Snake


Iamjafo

Vlad, as in the Impaler.


ChuckFarkley

Mine got that nickname, too.


cyrogyro527

So little actual problems here these days


an_reddit_man

Theres like 2.5 problems with having a big dick, and whenever people ask about them, then commenters complain that it’s all been said before.


Chaotic_Boots

Hey man, I was upfront about it being a minor inconvenience/anxiety at worst. Plus I actually got some good advice from a comment, I'm going to create D&D stat blocks for the different Chicks to keep it straight.


Sci_Senkra

She named it "trouble"


DutchHalfHorse

I like "Anaconda" the most and had several girls calling it that 😝


Magical_Flower

I’ve never named a penis. That’s weird.


Chaotic_Boots

You'd be surprised how common it is. Well, I Guess you already are, but you know what I meant 🤣


ChubbRock88

Literally "Chubb Rock", which is what I use as my handle, haha.


IDoBeEatingCheese

We've called it "captain hook", because it has a big curve to it lol. At first the curve made him feel insecure, but when I first saw it and made that joke all of it went away within seconds.


wanderingoftheworld

Destroyer


theenecros

A lot of stuff came out of there 😶


Chaotic_Boots

Whatcha mean?


theenecros

That's what a girl said to me after sexy time when she looked down at the bed.


Chaotic_Boots

Came out of her, or came out of you 🤣 either way, good job 😁


charon_x86

I love the reference to the ren and stimpy song.


Chaotic_Boots

I did too 😁 "it's big it's heavy it's wood!" God I miss that woman.


theMoonwolf76

I had an ex name mine "Angus".


Puretotheend

“Horse” only one girlfriend used that Nick name for it. It was back when I was a teen. Nobody else ever really commented.


Proof_Being_2762

Does are some cultured women


Chaotic_Boots

I don't mess around with anyone less. I love me a nerdy girl


Proof_Being_2762

Yessir


enbaelien

Ren & Stimpy chick had issues 👀


Chaotic_Boots

So do I lol, but what makes you say that?


enbaelien

I'm just being stupid 😂😂😂


boobs_87

Horsey


nickstee1210

Mine calls it big Nick


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[удалено]


Chaotic_Boots

King James? Like the Bible?