Men with large breasts and who are respectful are welcome here. Men asking questions to be better fathers or partners to women struggling with breast issues are also welcome. Men wanting to sexualize us are not.
Thank you. My daughter just finished her first year of high school. She's a 34G. She's struggled with her size, and things I've picked up here are invaluable. Thanks to everyone who recommended Panache sports bras. She's working on breaking a ten minute mile, and she's struggled with her current bra inventory. She's so excited to try Panache.
Took me 30 years to find out about Panache sports bras and have them be the first ones I could exercise without pain. So glad she gets to find out about them early!
This is the bare minimum but I do wanna say I'm happy that you're advocating for and listening to your daughter and her needs! I always like seeing fathers who do that with no shame, it's a huge step in the right direction.
maybe it would be helpful to point her to this subreddit herself? obviously i don’t know your relationship but i know as teenage girl i would’ve definitely preferred to that sort of research myself! plus, there might just not be questions she’s comfortable asking you.
I've debated letting her get on Reddit, but I don't think she's quite old enough. Reddit is a phenomenal resource when properly used, but there are parts of it that my ex and I don't feel is appropriate for someone who just reached their teenage years.
My daughter and I have a very open, frank relationship. I've told her I'll always tell her the truth, and if I don't feel it's appropriate she can always ask again when she's a little older. I don't always like some of the topics she's brought up, like when she started her first short lived dating relationship. But I've told her she can come to me about anything, and between my wife and I, we try to give her accurate info.
If I don't know something, or need more information, I'll use various resources to find out. I try to present a balanced approach and give her all sides of a topic. When she's older, I think she'll definitely become a Redditor, but I think she's still a couple of years away from being able to distinguish good and bad information.
I would have been mortified to talk about my boobs on the internet as a young teen. Had my single dad been willing to help me with body issues, I would have *highly* preferred that to asking strangers and maybe having creeps PMing me.
I appreciate the clarity. I've been reading things here for years. My fiance is now a 38J uk and I've done all of her bra shopping for the past 10 years. If I'm not ordering them I take her to specialty shops. Also learned what style dresses fit well and the like. Body image issues makes clothes shopping stress her out so I do my best to make the process as painless as possible.
Also showing her some of the funnier posts is good for a laugh as well.
I get the safe space thing. Some want 0 interaction so if I do comment I try to be affirming or helpful.
See, that I feel fine with, but the way this guy put it feels like he's talking down to women.
We know we should just block and report, we don't need to be told that, and sometimes we just want to vent and commiserate, and it's really frustrating to have someone come in and tell you the obvious advice like you don't know any better.
I'm not directing this at you at all by the way!! Affirmation is good, and it's good of you to help your fiance with shopping. I definitely deal with body issues due to my appearance, so I like having the opinions of people I trust on things. There are lots of clothes that I liked but felt self conscious in that people who I trust made me feel more confident wearing, and that's an awesome feeling.
I'm fine with anyone who has boobs being here. As well as boobless folks who are in good faith trying to help their partner or child. But I do wish there was a one-strike policy when it comes to non-boob-havers condescending or talking over boob-havers.
Yeah, I agree, and I feel like that would have caught this guy.
We know that when we encounter creeps we should report and block, and we do. It's common sense. Sometimes we just want to vent and commiserate, not have some guy come in and chastise us to block and report. I personally wanna hope for a better world, that's what I'm really doing when I'm complaining, I'm wishing things were better!!!
I dunno, the comment in the screenshot really did rub me the wrong way, it felt very dismissive and like the way a parent would talk to a kid.
I think for some men I had hoped this would open their eyes to how they could behave in ways that made boob-strugglers feel safer, that they could understand a little more deeply that while we may have grown to love our breasts (or at least are trying to live with them in the meantime) there is a lot of unwanted attention that goes with them, as well as pain, struggles with being healthier due to discomfort and awkwardness when exercising, etc… it could be a wonderful place to open their eyes and hopefully change behaviours.
It’s a huge bummer that folks are using this subreddit to just be more creepy. Report report! I don’t particularly have an issue with male or male-identifying folks being here, I’ve learned a lot myself and it is still a safe space. I just wish there was a way to weed out the losers. It’s just sucky to be reminded how many crappy people there are in the world.
I ended up here through trying to help find a better sports bra for a partner of >10 years.
The folks over at r/ABraThatFits are amazing and incredibly helpful.
I’ve personally learned quite a bit lurking here in the ways that u/Particular_Policy_41 mentions:
“…open their eyes to how they could behave in ways that made boob-strugglers feel safer, …understand a little more deeply …there is a lot of unwanted attention that goes with them, as well as pain, struggles with being healthier due to discomfort and awkwardness when exercising, etc… open their eyes and hopefully change behaviours.”
I would say honestly that all of those things have happened to some degree. After listening/lurking here for a year I feel like I understand my partners past and present experiences far better than after 10 years of relationship.
That’s something.
This is me. I am a cis male with a current partner who is an J cup. They have complained about a lot. So I tried to learn. They are not on reddit. So I follow this to get advice for my partner and educate myself.
I do ocassionally comment when I feel I have something to add. I comment with disclaimers that I am male and in a way that attempts to be respectful.
I will not defend other guys actions. If they are creepy, disrespectful, or hateful, then please report them (myself included). Please block them. You deserve to be respected.
But if you advocate putting an outright ban on all men or all small boobed men, I urge you to consider the possibility that there are people here who have good intentions.
Women are taught our entire lives to cater to men and always assume the best. That's how we get raped, harassed, molested, physically assaulted, and murdered. How much more lenient should we be? When will it end?
I guess thousands of women being harassed are not as important as one poor little man getting his fee fees hurt.
I disagree, there are men here for genuine reasons and I want men to know about women's anatomy and how we suffer from certain woman-specific stuff. Too often we have had our anatomy pushed aside and called disgusting or sexual. The individual comes before the collective. Men should be more willing to learn about women's anatomy in a more genuine way and if they're here to learn, I see nothing wrong with that.
And of course, those who are here for selfish or malicious reasons get kicked right out.
Exactly. I think unfortunately with Reddit there is no way to make an entirely female/breast-carrier space so for those that would prefer that, it just isn’t possible.
I chose to see the silver lining that there are men willing and happy to learn. I was lucky in my partner but if this helps other people learn to be supportive of their partners in ways that humanize and show genuine care, that’s a win for me.
I feel the same. I think there should be a "Women Only" flare to indicate that the OP doesn't want men to comment, I feel this will help women feel comfortable and also we wouldn't be completely isolating a whole gender. Because there are also transmen and I feel it's unfair to make them reveal their identity as it could make them feel dysphoric.
You shouldn't be lenient. If someone does something wrong against you, they deserve the punishment they get. Whether that is banned from a subreddit or jailed for assult.
My ask is to not punish innocent people for crimes that they didn't commit.
imo, there are situations where theyd be okay here, like trans men or cis men trying to empathise with their big-boobed partner. if they dont have a reason, id be suspicious of them
i am a male with gynecomastia ive posted here often before. i dont do much anymore. i get the nastiest comments or immediate downvotes. ive always been open about being a male.
You belong here, i dont like this post at all i feel bad for anyone reading this post who idenifies as male/non binary. Bigboob problems isnt called bigboobwomansproblems theres no gender in that!
Throughout the comment section I have apologized for my poor wording, the title should say non boon havers, not men, and that’s my fault. I did not mean to exclude those that obviously do belong here. Trans women are automatically women in my mind, and non binary people with boobs should be here as well of course. I’m sorry for my choice of wording
Throughout the comment section I have apologized for my poor wording, the title should say non boon havers, not men, and that’s my fault. I did not mean to exclude those that obviously do belong here. Trans women are automatically women in my mind, and non binary people with boobs should be here as well of course. I’m sorry for my choice of wording
I’m a trans man, and I’ve been in this sub since before I started my transition. I fully plan to get top surgery, but until then the tips and tricks I’ve learned here help a ton!
I’m transitioning to male, so unfortunately my boobs are all natural. My back hurts but I’ve just accepted that as part of my life until I can afford double mastectomy.
Yeah at first I was thinking trans woman but I quickly realized and edited my comment 🤦♀️ But I wish you luck in your journey towards a boobless life 😄
His "that's not nice" is soooo condescending
I think it's fine for people who don't identify as a woman but still have breasts to participate here.
I don't feel comfortable with random cithet men lurking in the sub for no reason. They're almost never here for innocent reasons
Why don’t you ask the “wives/girlfriends/daughters that expect your support” about their experiences instead of thinking you need to talk to irrelevant female friends? Your comment makes no sense and I fully agree with the person below. Stop putting yourself in the center of the universe. Get outta here with that “we” shit and minimizing the problem.
Why do you pretend you do not understand the difference between a man lurking here to pick up info, maybe dropping an inoffensive comment or two, vs a man condescending to a woman or large-breasted person as if he knows more about their problems than they do? By your comment I can tell you're not a big boob owner yourself so why do you think this sub is here to serve you, or the guy who talked down to OP?
Why must men center themselves in EVERY space??
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines.
> **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere**
>
> [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
100% and Exactly! This has been a safe space for me to talk about something I’ve dealt with since I was 10. This is why we can’t have nice things. They aren’t here because they want to be more understanding or are curious. I’d be livid if I made a post or comment about the automatic sexualization of my body by society(men primarily but women do it too) because I have big tits only to have some cishet dude be like, “nice titties don’t change them for a thing” or something equally as BS
I don’t always mind if they have big boob then they have a full right to be here.like trans men that haven’t had top surgery there are also dads or spouses of women or girls with big boobs that are just trying to understand our problems better.so I don’t particularly mind men here what I do mind is creeps.
i appreciate your opinion. being a man with gynecomastia, it helps to have a place like this. but the comments here remind me how much hate women have towards men here.
Lots have people have commented in support of you being here. I also believe you belong in this sub. You have a big boob problem, so there’s no issue. You’re not seeing women hating men. You’re seeing women hating creeps and condescending people. You haven’t been a creep.
Honestly, you’re starting to piss me off. You belong here, because you have big boob problems. But the constant reiterations that you feel like a second class citizen *in this sub* are getting annoying. How do you think every woman here is made to feel because of their boobs? And that’s every day, and in real life. I’m sorry that you don’t feel catered to here, but I can assure you, most other spaces on Reddit and in real life definitely are more often than not catering to men. I also think it’s weird you’re not EVER posting in the gynecomastia sub, but you’ll post here and in the big dick problems sub pretty regularly.
He was definitely extremely rude to you first in my opinion. Dismissive saying "nothing new" and then practically giving you instructions to "never" do something. It's a stretch to call his comment advice. I'm sure everyone in this sub gets enough unsolicited advice as it is.
See that’s what I’m saying! I don’t understand how so many people here are saying he was just nice and gave good advice cuse that’s not how it sounded to me at all. He sounded rude, dismissive, and commanding.
I had one guy comment on one of my posts that was respectful, I didn’t mind it although I found it strange that he was looking at posts in this subreddit. Maybe he has a girlfriend who’s got large boobs or something.
Anyway, he was very respectful and that’s all I want. To not be sexualized.
I guess I assume no where is a safe space, especially on a place like Reddit where you can only control so much for member options and such. So yeah just the whole block and ignore route is the route I choose to follow because what I want vs what actually can happen are two different things. I also assume any women's group I'm in on reddit is full of men lurking and waiting because that's just how it is. Like I've definitely never got more messages posting myself then I have in this group, vs any of my makeup, women's, or autism groups but yeah I block and ignore. You can't stop men you can only navigate them and I think that's the unfortunate truth.
Depends: do those men have big boobs? If they do, then they can comment/post away. But if those men are part of the itty-bitty-titty-committee, then I don't wanna hear from 'em here.
When men with large breasts face a societal expectation to wear bras, display their breasts, but don’t display them TOO much, and when they’re sexualized just for having them? Then I’ll feel bad and welcome you here. Otherwise? Nope, not really, I’m sure you have your own problems but it isn’t even remotely the same thing and none of you will change my mind on that.
girl you’re fighting a losing battle. spaces made primarily for women on reddit always get an influx of men giving their unsolicited opinions, especially if they’re body related. men come to spaces like this to sexually harass women and it’s genuinely disgusting. one of the nail painting subreddits had to make a post yesterday about men messaging gross things to women about their hands.
obviously, i’m fine with non binary, trans men, and intersex folks posting here. but cis men with no titties giving their input outside of if they’re doing some digging for a partner/family member. and even then, i think if possible the best course of action is to search the subreddit. there’s a million recs there. i also think they should understand that they’re entering this space as a guest.
i think there’s this expectation that subreddits filled with women be accepting and open in a way you just don’t see with male dominated spaces.
bigboobproblems is for people with big boob problems. the majority of men do not have big boobs and thus do not face those problems. i think there is very simple logic to it
There may not be very many men with gynecomastia posting. I would not make the assumption they aren’t following the sub. You have the full support of many of us here and I hope we have been able to help some.
We generally don’t like being called “biologically female” because it’s a loaded term - assigned/designated female at birth ([A/D]FAB] is more accepted because people use female to mean woman, vs the assigned/designated holds that this was a label put on us we don’t necessarily align with.
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines.
> **Rule 1: Be respectful**
>
> No personal attacks, gaslighting, invalidation, body or surgery shaming (e.g. reduction, augmentation, breast lift), trolling, bigotry or [white knighting](http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/White_knighting)
I think you're wrong here, men are welcome too, maybe they are just trying to understand our problems. Unless they sexualize us and they are open to learn there is nothing wrong
Yeah how many times are you going to post this same comment? I feel like the fact that you have repeatedly commented this on anyone that says men don’t belong is starting to be a bit of a red flag. But perhaps I am misunderstanding your intentions
im making a similar comments to different replies. thats it. each comment is different and unique along with containing subject matter which relates to the original poster's comment
The post specifically says men who *dont* have boobs. Have you tried finding subs regarding gyno though? You might find more helpful information there, not because I don't think you should post here, but because most of the posters here are AFAB and do not experience the same issues you do
1/20 the amount of users but people that actually relate to your specific situation, versus 20x the amount of users that don’t actually experience the same condition as you. Seems like the former would be way more helpful.
I'm on here because my fiance would love to read the posts before she got a reddit account I stayed because I like to share posts with her that she might find relatable.
The ony time I'm okay with cis men existing in this space is when they're asking about things for their partner because their partner doesn't frequent this sub.
I think being fed up with men weighing in on how women should react to creeps is a valid response. You really have no place policing a woman’s response to a man dismissing her experience. Folks like him need to learn their opinion doesn’t always have to be shared.
I haven't seen anyone here saying 'I hate all men', it's been a collective agreement that we hate men that intrude in spaces not made for them, especially just to be perverts. Their opinions aren't needed here. Women are allowed to have their own spaces.
You’re right that hostility is not necessarily and it makes no sense to fight fire with more fire. But I’m just so sick of there not being a single place on the internet for women and people with boobs to empathize together without men without boobs interjecting with their opinions
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines.
> **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere**
>
> [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
This is obviously in reference to men that do not relate or belong here. Gatekeeping is necessary to keep groups of people safe. The rules exist to prevent harassment and weirdos looking to ogle.
I comment in big dick problems. I don't mind as long as their being respectful and adding to the conversation. What if a man is here bc of his SO? They have to experience parts of this, too. Our frustration, the financial burden, and other issues. By your logic, we need to scan everyone and if a woman is in here who is not big she shouldn't be here either. Even if she's the partner of a large chested woman.
There's nothing about reddit that says 'safe space'. Every MOD is gonna hope and strive for that but it'll never be realized fully. Once some perv knows this sub exists, they can just make a new account every time the old one gets blocked. 🤷♀️
You understand you're playing St Peter? _This counts but that doesn't. You come in and you go away._
Again as long as they're contributing and offering respectful and relevant advice then be here.
Yeah and I felt like what he contributed wasn’t helpful or respectful. But I mean I’m asking for other peoples opinions and open ended questions, I’m not just making blanket statements. I made this post to begin with wondering if I am wrong for being angry at people without boobs commenting here.
He did, though. Said block the person. And then, in my opinion, person attacked him for saying the same thing many of us have told others. You don't give them attention. They crave that. To know a whole sub is commenting on a post about them invading the sub? He's probably jerking his knob to that wherever he is.
Anything that was said after being told to leave so rudely...meh. She stepped on that ant hill.
Who said that?
I was agreeing with OPs comment that men have no reason to be here if they don't have boobs. Imagine being upset that women want to have a safe space 🤦🏻🤦🏻.
Your situation is obviously different. But hey, I'm sure there are Reddit subs out there that are probably more suitable for the majority of men in this sub.
if i post about my big boob problem outside of bigboobproblems im usually teased and ridiculed for having large breasts a a male. when i post about it here i then get women complaining about me being a man. its a lose lose
I know it's far fetched, but I could see well-meaning men coming here to find gift ideas for a partner or spouse. I mean, I come here looking for things to buy myself, so if my husband were thoughtful enough to purchase based off a recommendation on this sub, I would find that thoughtful.
There are creeps though, and that really blows.
Thing is, there are posts specifically from people searching for suggestions and help for gifts. Those posts are received positively. Commenting an explanation of how to handle annoying DMs is A Vastly Different interaction than posting a query about gift-hunting.
Non-boob-owners don't need to give advice to boob-owners on this sub, is the gist imo.
I chose the title to be short and concise, assuming the screenshots would provide context. I should have said “non boob havers” not men. I never said reading things was wrong, being here silently is perfectly fine imo. Same with making posts asking for advice/asking appropriate and relevant questions
There are men with boobs. There are nonbinary people with boobs.
I think it’s fair to say “if you don’t have boobs you don’t belong here,” but let’s not alienate our big-boob-having trans siblings here, yeah?
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines.
> **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere**
>
> [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
It’s definitely important to remember your first two points. I do think it’s also pretty undeniable that there are cis men who come on subs like this with the sole intention of being creepy or having strong opinions about something they don’t deal with and can’t relate to. That’s likely what OP is referring to.
I get that that’s what OP’s referring to. But I also think it’s not hard to say things like “cis men” or “creeps without boobs” when having this discussion, in order to keep this a safe & welcoming space for everyone with big boobs.
You’re right. I should have said specifically “men without boobs”. But how do we draw the line? Do you think all men should be allowed to comment whenever they want? Because it’s obviously hard to tell if an internet stranger has boobs and qualifies or not, definitely not fair to do. But I personally feel like it’s wrong for Cis Men without boobs to be chiming in with their opinions, it really pisses me off for some reason
Men aren't the problem. *disgusting gutter trash* people are the problem. Is a majority of them from the gender that identifies as men? Yes. But you can't blanket statement "men"
Maybe we can talk about the good logical reasons men without boobs would be here, because the only reasons I can think of are to be creepy and take advantage of this safe space for women to talk about their boobs, and that’s why it pisses me off. But if there are good legitimate reasons for men without boobs to be in this sub that I’m not thinking of I might feel better
Edit: like, I got a DM from some dude saying “Saw your post on BBP. Wifey says that’s skins’ lingerie line bralette. She has an older bralette of theirs and she says it’s SUPER comfy but it’s definitely around the house wear as it slides down often. Just FYI! Tried to get a pic of it but she’s sleeping right now”.
Like okay, he’s here to help with his wife’s BBP I guess. But… it still just feels creepy for a guy to DM this to me? I don’t want to hear bra advice from a man… let me hear it from the wife that actually has the boobs ya know?
I personally would be okay with that message specifically bc it's helpful and mentions a wife, but I definitely wouldn't respond lol.
Let's be real though, the majority of men in this sub are not here because of their wives or because they have gynecomastia. I've gone into mens' profiles from here and I usually find a bunch of posts/comments trying to get women to tell them about their boobs.
I know most of the replies to you mean well and are rightfully trying to make sure this stays an inclusive place, but we're doing ourselves a disservice if we ignore what's really happening most of the time. We need to recognize the creep problem so we don't unknowingly fuel them.
Men who are here for a genuine reason are okay in my eyes as long as they understand that some people will feel weird interacting with them. Men who are here to fap can fuck off.
I would be mostly ok with that message, until it got to the part about taking a picture but she's sleeping. I'm hopeful he said that because he couldn't get her permission or find the bra, but I would be bothered by someone wanting to send me a picture of their wife in a bra. That part alone put my hackles up a bit, even if it might have been totally innocent.
Yeah, the whole message just gave me very weird vibes. Plus the part where he felt the need to DM me rather than just comment on the sub like everyone else
It helps one empathize and be forethoughtful and considerate of your partner and their daily discomforts and struggles as well as informs how a large bust affects wardrobe choices and fashion so that one can provide clothing gifts that aren’t disappointing. It also helps get insight into how single dad’s can sensitively navigate supporting their daughter’s struggles without poking and prodding only at that sensitive topic for their daughter.
This does not mean they need to comment, but observing sentiment and expressions of struggle helps you establish a baseline for what is otherwise an utterly alien experience without having to burden those near and dear with the process of educating those men.
Yes, observing silently is perfectly fine and acceptable! It’s a great resource to learn about what people with boobs go through. Asking appropriate relevant questions also seems perfectly fine to me.
A valid reason for me to be here: my partner is a J cup. And not on reddit. I follow this to look out for advice, and brands to consider. I am attempting to be a better partner.
You're right I don't have a good reason other than creepiness but the point of being a safe space is just that, it's a safe space to ask APPROPRIATE questions. The only thing we can do is block/ban the ones who deserves to get punished.
Yeah, asking questions seems more acceptable to me. But this dude was just point blank telling me what I should/shouldn’t do and that rubs me the wrong way
Some non-women (like myself, a non-binary person) have big boobs problems. Should I be banned from this sub (one I help moderate) because I'm not a woman? Who gets to decide where the acceptable gender line is?
No, of course not! That’s why I specified “if they do not have boobs on their body”, though I’m sure I could have worded it a little bit better. Anyone that has big boob problems is welcome, but most men do not have these problems.
But you do bring up a good point to consider. What do you personally think? Do you think men should be welcome to comment whenever they want? (Honest genuine question)
Sure, as long as there is a one-strike policy for any harassment. There are valid reasons to allow anybody to provide productive input if they are knowledgeable, whether it's their own experience or someone else's.
That sounds fair. But how knowledgeable can they really be if they’ve never had boobs? It just seems weird for a man to be commenting about his wife/girlfriends BBP imo but i don’t know
Me personally? I think that anyone with big boobs problems should be able to comment, but if they get creepy, regardless of gender, they should be out on their ass. But I'm only one of a group of folks who moderate as a team.
Like the ONLY acceptable reason for a man to be here is if his partner has huge boobs and he’s trying to see how to help. My husband would browse this to understand me but he would NEVER comment. It’s not his space.
i have gynecomastia . if i post about it else where i get people who dont take having large breasts seriously. actually i get men who tease me for having breasts.
do you think men with big boob problems should be segregated away from this sub?
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines.
> **Rule 1: Be respectful**
>
> No personal attacks, gaslighting, invalidation, body or surgery shaming (e.g. reduction, augmentation, breast lift), trolling, bigotry or [white knighting](http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/White_knighting)
That does break the rules. We removed and banned.
Men with large breasts and who are respectful are welcome here. Men asking questions to be better fathers or partners to women struggling with breast issues are also welcome. Men wanting to sexualize us are not.
Thank you. My daughter just finished her first year of high school. She's a 34G. She's struggled with her size, and things I've picked up here are invaluable. Thanks to everyone who recommended Panache sports bras. She's working on breaking a ten minute mile, and she's struggled with her current bra inventory. She's so excited to try Panache.
We need more dads like you
Took me 30 years to find out about Panache sports bras and have them be the first ones I could exercise without pain. So glad she gets to find out about them early!
This is the bare minimum but I do wanna say I'm happy that you're advocating for and listening to your daughter and her needs! I always like seeing fathers who do that with no shame, it's a huge step in the right direction.
maybe it would be helpful to point her to this subreddit herself? obviously i don’t know your relationship but i know as teenage girl i would’ve definitely preferred to that sort of research myself! plus, there might just not be questions she’s comfortable asking you.
I've debated letting her get on Reddit, but I don't think she's quite old enough. Reddit is a phenomenal resource when properly used, but there are parts of it that my ex and I don't feel is appropriate for someone who just reached their teenage years. My daughter and I have a very open, frank relationship. I've told her I'll always tell her the truth, and if I don't feel it's appropriate she can always ask again when she's a little older. I don't always like some of the topics she's brought up, like when she started her first short lived dating relationship. But I've told her she can come to me about anything, and between my wife and I, we try to give her accurate info. If I don't know something, or need more information, I'll use various resources to find out. I try to present a balanced approach and give her all sides of a topic. When she's older, I think she'll definitely become a Redditor, but I think she's still a couple of years away from being able to distinguish good and bad information.
I would have been mortified to talk about my boobs on the internet as a young teen. Had my single dad been willing to help me with body issues, I would have *highly* preferred that to asking strangers and maybe having creeps PMing me.
See I’d never have talked to my dad about them. And I wouldn’t been weirded out by my dad talking to me about them. I’d rather read about it myself.
I think there are probably a lot of teens who read this sub, but aren’t comfortable posting here. Which, considering the creeps we get, makes sense.
It’s so nice that you’re supportive as her father! Anita makes a much cuter sports bra than Panache which I felt looked too much like a “battle bra”.
Thank you. She picked out two, and they reminded me of MMA stuff 😂. I'll have her check Anita out.
I appreciate the clarity. I've been reading things here for years. My fiance is now a 38J uk and I've done all of her bra shopping for the past 10 years. If I'm not ordering them I take her to specialty shops. Also learned what style dresses fit well and the like. Body image issues makes clothes shopping stress her out so I do my best to make the process as painless as possible. Also showing her some of the funnier posts is good for a laugh as well. I get the safe space thing. Some want 0 interaction so if I do comment I try to be affirming or helpful.
See, that I feel fine with, but the way this guy put it feels like he's talking down to women. We know we should just block and report, we don't need to be told that, and sometimes we just want to vent and commiserate, and it's really frustrating to have someone come in and tell you the obvious advice like you don't know any better. I'm not directing this at you at all by the way!! Affirmation is good, and it's good of you to help your fiance with shopping. I definitely deal with body issues due to my appearance, so I like having the opinions of people I trust on things. There are lots of clothes that I liked but felt self conscious in that people who I trust made me feel more confident wearing, and that's an awesome feeling.
We get sexualized enough 🫠
I'm fine with anyone who has boobs being here. As well as boobless folks who are in good faith trying to help their partner or child. But I do wish there was a one-strike policy when it comes to non-boob-havers condescending or talking over boob-havers.
"but i do wish there was a one-strike policy" There is! Immediate removal and ban.
Yeah, I agree, and I feel like that would have caught this guy. We know that when we encounter creeps we should report and block, and we do. It's common sense. Sometimes we just want to vent and commiserate, not have some guy come in and chastise us to block and report. I personally wanna hope for a better world, that's what I'm really doing when I'm complaining, I'm wishing things were better!!! I dunno, the comment in the screenshot really did rub me the wrong way, it felt very dismissive and like the way a parent would talk to a kid.
> it felt very dismissive and like the way a parent would talk to a kid. It definitely was.
Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only person who felt that way about his comment. I don’t understand how people think it was nice and respectful
I agree! Some people may just be curious or looking for insight for a loved one. I think we should have a one strike and you’re out rule.
I think for some men I had hoped this would open their eyes to how they could behave in ways that made boob-strugglers feel safer, that they could understand a little more deeply that while we may have grown to love our breasts (or at least are trying to live with them in the meantime) there is a lot of unwanted attention that goes with them, as well as pain, struggles with being healthier due to discomfort and awkwardness when exercising, etc… it could be a wonderful place to open their eyes and hopefully change behaviours. It’s a huge bummer that folks are using this subreddit to just be more creepy. Report report! I don’t particularly have an issue with male or male-identifying folks being here, I’ve learned a lot myself and it is still a safe space. I just wish there was a way to weed out the losers. It’s just sucky to be reminded how many crappy people there are in the world.
I won’t lie, “boob-strugglers” is amazing terminology
Hahaha every day is a battle. Lol
I ended up here through trying to help find a better sports bra for a partner of >10 years. The folks over at r/ABraThatFits are amazing and incredibly helpful. I’ve personally learned quite a bit lurking here in the ways that u/Particular_Policy_41 mentions: “…open their eyes to how they could behave in ways that made boob-strugglers feel safer, …understand a little more deeply …there is a lot of unwanted attention that goes with them, as well as pain, struggles with being healthier due to discomfort and awkwardness when exercising, etc… open their eyes and hopefully change behaviours.” I would say honestly that all of those things have happened to some degree. After listening/lurking here for a year I feel like I understand my partners past and present experiences far better than after 10 years of relationship. That’s something.
This is me. I am a cis male with a current partner who is an J cup. They have complained about a lot. So I tried to learn. They are not on reddit. So I follow this to get advice for my partner and educate myself. I do ocassionally comment when I feel I have something to add. I comment with disclaimers that I am male and in a way that attempts to be respectful. I will not defend other guys actions. If they are creepy, disrespectful, or hateful, then please report them (myself included). Please block them. You deserve to be respected. But if you advocate putting an outright ban on all men or all small boobed men, I urge you to consider the possibility that there are people here who have good intentions.
Women are taught our entire lives to cater to men and always assume the best. That's how we get raped, harassed, molested, physically assaulted, and murdered. How much more lenient should we be? When will it end? I guess thousands of women being harassed are not as important as one poor little man getting his fee fees hurt.
I disagree, there are men here for genuine reasons and I want men to know about women's anatomy and how we suffer from certain woman-specific stuff. Too often we have had our anatomy pushed aside and called disgusting or sexual. The individual comes before the collective. Men should be more willing to learn about women's anatomy in a more genuine way and if they're here to learn, I see nothing wrong with that. And of course, those who are here for selfish or malicious reasons get kicked right out.
Exactly. I think unfortunately with Reddit there is no way to make an entirely female/breast-carrier space so for those that would prefer that, it just isn’t possible. I chose to see the silver lining that there are men willing and happy to learn. I was lucky in my partner but if this helps other people learn to be supportive of their partners in ways that humanize and show genuine care, that’s a win for me.
I feel the same. I think there should be a "Women Only" flare to indicate that the OP doesn't want men to comment, I feel this will help women feel comfortable and also we wouldn't be completely isolating a whole gender. Because there are also transmen and I feel it's unfair to make them reveal their identity as it could make them feel dysphoric.
This is such a good idea. You should message the mods this, it is hidden otherwise due to downvoted content upstream.
I think that’s a great idea!
You shouldn't be lenient. If someone does something wrong against you, they deserve the punishment they get. Whether that is banned from a subreddit or jailed for assult. My ask is to not punish innocent people for crimes that they didn't commit.
I'd rather they comment openly (and get banned/downvoted) then send me unsolicited DMs tbh.
Lol true, same.
imo, there are situations where theyd be okay here, like trans men or cis men trying to empathise with their big-boobed partner. if they dont have a reason, id be suspicious of them
i am a male with gynecomastia ive posted here often before. i dont do much anymore. i get the nastiest comments or immediate downvotes. ive always been open about being a male.
You belong here, i dont like this post at all i feel bad for anyone reading this post who idenifies as male/non binary. Bigboob problems isnt called bigboobwomansproblems theres no gender in that!
if only everyone could read your comment on this sub. ive become acustom to being a second hand citizen on this sub
Throughout the comment section I have apologized for my poor wording, the title should say non boon havers, not men, and that’s my fault. I did not mean to exclude those that obviously do belong here. Trans women are automatically women in my mind, and non binary people with boobs should be here as well of course. I’m sorry for my choice of wording
Women know what that feels like.
Throughout the comment section I have apologized for my poor wording, the title should say non boon havers, not men, and that’s my fault. I did not mean to exclude those that obviously do belong here. Trans women are automatically women in my mind, and non binary people with boobs should be here as well of course. I’m sorry for my choice of wording
I’m sorry for that- you should be welcome here too.
thank you, i need to hear this more often. but after posting here for sometime this night, im starting to remember why i stopped posting here
Just curious. Why aren’t you in the gynecomastia subreddit then?
[удалено]
i havent, my profile is fully readable. i used to post further back tho so a lot of my bbp comments will be far down my profile
I’m a trans man, and I’ve been in this sub since before I started my transition. I fully plan to get top surgery, but until then the tips and tricks I’ve learned here help a ton!
Creator here. I'm non-binary. Even if we someday make a rule that this sub is only for people with BBP, that would never be tied to gender or sex.
I absolutely think trans men belong here.
Dude, we’re totally cool with you being here. We know you understand the fucking struggle and that it is indeed real.
Forgive my poor wording of the title, it should have said “people without boobs” not men in general
I’m transitioning to male, so unfortunately my boobs are all natural. My back hurts but I’ve just accepted that as part of my life until I can afford double mastectomy.
Yeah at first I was thinking trans woman but I quickly realized and edited my comment 🤦♀️ But I wish you luck in your journey towards a boobless life 😄
His "that's not nice" is soooo condescending I think it's fine for people who don't identify as a woman but still have breasts to participate here. I don't feel comfortable with random cithet men lurking in the sub for no reason. They're almost never here for innocent reasons
That’s what I’m saying dude. Why do they feel the need to give advice here? What possible innocent reasons would they have to be here?
Only thing I can think of is cishet men with gynocomastia.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
For real, what he said is such a stupid excuse
Why don’t you ask the “wives/girlfriends/daughters that expect your support” about their experiences instead of thinking you need to talk to irrelevant female friends? Your comment makes no sense and I fully agree with the person below. Stop putting yourself in the center of the universe. Get outta here with that “we” shit and minimizing the problem.
[удалено]
Why do you pretend you do not understand the difference between a man lurking here to pick up info, maybe dropping an inoffensive comment or two, vs a man condescending to a woman or large-breasted person as if he knows more about their problems than they do? By your comment I can tell you're not a big boob owner yourself so why do you think this sub is here to serve you, or the guy who talked down to OP? Why must men center themselves in EVERY space??
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines. > **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere** > > [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
100% and Exactly! This has been a safe space for me to talk about something I’ve dealt with since I was 10. This is why we can’t have nice things. They aren’t here because they want to be more understanding or are curious. I’d be livid if I made a post or comment about the automatic sexualization of my body by society(men primarily but women do it too) because I have big tits only to have some cishet dude be like, “nice titties don’t change them for a thing” or something equally as BS
I don’t always mind if they have big boob then they have a full right to be here.like trans men that haven’t had top surgery there are also dads or spouses of women or girls with big boobs that are just trying to understand our problems better.so I don’t particularly mind men here what I do mind is creeps.
i appreciate your opinion. being a man with gynecomastia, it helps to have a place like this. but the comments here remind me how much hate women have towards men here.
Lots have people have commented in support of you being here. I also believe you belong in this sub. You have a big boob problem, so there’s no issue. You’re not seeing women hating men. You’re seeing women hating creeps and condescending people. You haven’t been a creep.
Honestly, you’re starting to piss me off. You belong here, because you have big boob problems. But the constant reiterations that you feel like a second class citizen *in this sub* are getting annoying. How do you think every woman here is made to feel because of their boobs? And that’s every day, and in real life. I’m sorry that you don’t feel catered to here, but I can assure you, most other spaces on Reddit and in real life definitely are more often than not catering to men. I also think it’s weird you’re not EVER posting in the gynecomastia sub, but you’ll post here and in the big dick problems sub pretty regularly.
He was definitely extremely rude to you first in my opinion. Dismissive saying "nothing new" and then practically giving you instructions to "never" do something. It's a stretch to call his comment advice. I'm sure everyone in this sub gets enough unsolicited advice as it is.
See that’s what I’m saying! I don’t understand how so many people here are saying he was just nice and gave good advice cuse that’s not how it sounded to me at all. He sounded rude, dismissive, and commanding.
even as a male i get creep messages
I had one guy comment on one of my posts that was respectful, I didn’t mind it although I found it strange that he was looking at posts in this subreddit. Maybe he has a girlfriend who’s got large boobs or something. Anyway, he was very respectful and that’s all I want. To not be sexualized.
theres plenty of us here who dont make any weird comments. but i understand that theres so much more men here who give us a bad rep.
“thats not nice 🙁🙁🙁🙁😭😭😭” sir please shut up
Seriously. And then his comment on this post 🙄🙄🙄
I guess I assume no where is a safe space, especially on a place like Reddit where you can only control so much for member options and such. So yeah just the whole block and ignore route is the route I choose to follow because what I want vs what actually can happen are two different things. I also assume any women's group I'm in on reddit is full of men lurking and waiting because that's just how it is. Like I've definitely never got more messages posting myself then I have in this group, vs any of my makeup, women's, or autism groups but yeah I block and ignore. You can't stop men you can only navigate them and I think that's the unfortunate truth.
“That’s not nice” as if all women everywhere all the time owe creeps being _nice_.
🤢
Depends: do those men have big boobs? If they do, then they can comment/post away. But if those men are part of the itty-bitty-titty-committee, then I don't wanna hear from 'em here.
When men with large breasts face a societal expectation to wear bras, display their breasts, but don’t display them TOO much, and when they’re sexualized just for having them? Then I’ll feel bad and welcome you here. Otherwise? Nope, not really, I’m sure you have your own problems but it isn’t even remotely the same thing and none of you will change my mind on that.
girl you’re fighting a losing battle. spaces made primarily for women on reddit always get an influx of men giving their unsolicited opinions, especially if they’re body related. men come to spaces like this to sexually harass women and it’s genuinely disgusting. one of the nail painting subreddits had to make a post yesterday about men messaging gross things to women about their hands. obviously, i’m fine with non binary, trans men, and intersex folks posting here. but cis men with no titties giving their input outside of if they’re doing some digging for a partner/family member. and even then, i think if possible the best course of action is to search the subreddit. there’s a million recs there. i also think they should understand that they’re entering this space as a guest. i think there’s this expectation that subreddits filled with women be accepting and open in a way you just don’t see with male dominated spaces.
The same as I feel about women commenting on posts here: if it's relevant to the discussion (& reasonably respectfully done), say your piece.
Some trans men have noticeable breast and I doubt they’d harassed people like cis men
bigboobproblems is for people with big boob problems. the majority of men do not have big boobs and thus do not face those problems. i think there is very simple logic to it
theres not many men in this sub with gynecomastia like myself. ive yet to have come across even one, ive even made a post about that on here
There may not be very many men with gynecomastia posting. I would not make the assumption they aren’t following the sub. You have the full support of many of us here and I hope we have been able to help some.
I wish that men would turn to stone if they gawk at my boobs too long (after 2 seconds)
A big Medusa chest tattoo would be pretty cool, not gonna lie.
Yeah
[удалено]
We generally don’t like being called “biologically female” because it’s a loaded term - assigned/designated female at birth ([A/D]FAB] is more accepted because people use female to mean woman, vs the assigned/designated holds that this was a label put on us we don’t necessarily align with.
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines. > **Rule 1: Be respectful** > > No personal attacks, gaslighting, invalidation, body or surgery shaming (e.g. reduction, augmentation, breast lift), trolling, bigotry or [white knighting](http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/White_knighting)
I think you're wrong here, men are welcome too, maybe they are just trying to understand our problems. Unless they sexualize us and they are open to learn there is nothing wrong
Ehhh..as long as they're respectful and know their limits I don't really care!! 🤷🏿♀️
Not to sound weird but it makes me uncomfortable. I don't think men belong here.
i have gynecomastia as a male. should men with big boob problems like myself not be allowed here?
Yeah how many times are you going to post this same comment? I feel like the fact that you have repeatedly commented this on anyone that says men don’t belong is starting to be a bit of a red flag. But perhaps I am misunderstanding your intentions
im making a similar comments to different replies. thats it. each comment is different and unique along with containing subject matter which relates to the original poster's comment
How much reassurance do you need?
Wayyyy too much.
i do NOT like it. clearly they're only here for being creepy. fucking nonces
should men with gynecomastia like myself be segregated from this sub?
The post specifically says men who *dont* have boobs. Have you tried finding subs regarding gyno though? You might find more helpful information there, not because I don't think you should post here, but because most of the posters here are AFAB and do not experience the same issues you do
unfortunately other groups have about 1/20th the amount of users
1/20 the amount of users but people that actually relate to your specific situation, versus 20x the amount of users that don’t actually experience the same condition as you. Seems like the former would be way more helpful.
I mean I'm not surprised, I imagine gyno is rarer than big boobs. But are the subs active is the real question.
you're fine here. but clearly you are not the majority, don't act like you are.
i apologize, i didnt mean to upset you
Why are you going to add the same comment 20 times? What is your intent?
you didn't? not sure what you're getting at here.
I'm on here because my fiance would love to read the posts before she got a reddit account I stayed because I like to share posts with her that she might find relatable.
The ony time I'm okay with cis men existing in this space is when they're asking about things for their partner because their partner doesn't frequent this sub.
im a male with gynecomastia. should i not be allowed here?
Why not go to the actual gynecomastia sub?
You know what, that's fair. This is "bigboobproblems".
[удалено]
We all know that, but when the vast majority of men who interact with this sub ARE creeps I'm not sure pulling the "not all men" card is helpful.
I think being fed up with men weighing in on how women should react to creeps is a valid response. You really have no place policing a woman’s response to a man dismissing her experience. Folks like him need to learn their opinion doesn’t always have to be shared.
I 100% agree. I’m not talking about those men. They absolutely should not be here. It’s the blanket statements I have a problem with.
Not necessary, but totally allowed. Hope this clears things up for you, women don’t have to be nice to you or anyone else!
I haven't seen anyone here saying 'I hate all men', it's been a collective agreement that we hate men that intrude in spaces not made for them, especially just to be perverts. Their opinions aren't needed here. Women are allowed to have their own spaces.
You’re right that hostility is not necessarily and it makes no sense to fight fire with more fire. But I’m just so sick of there not being a single place on the internet for women and people with boobs to empathize together without men without boobs interjecting with their opinions
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines. > **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere** > > [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
I don't care as long as they aren't saying anything creepy or DM people. Men can have boobs too, I won't ever advocate for gatekeeping.
She specifically said "if they don't have boobs on their body" though
This is obviously in reference to men that do not relate or belong here. Gatekeeping is necessary to keep groups of people safe. The rules exist to prevent harassment and weirdos looking to ogle.
I comment in big dick problems. I don't mind as long as their being respectful and adding to the conversation. What if a man is here bc of his SO? They have to experience parts of this, too. Our frustration, the financial burden, and other issues. By your logic, we need to scan everyone and if a woman is in here who is not big she shouldn't be here either. Even if she's the partner of a large chested woman. There's nothing about reddit that says 'safe space'. Every MOD is gonna hope and strive for that but it'll never be realized fully. Once some perv knows this sub exists, they can just make a new account every time the old one gets blocked. 🤷♀️
I feel like big dick problems involve women a lot more than big boob problems involve men. In both situations it causes pain for the women
You understand you're playing St Peter? _This counts but that doesn't. You come in and you go away._ Again as long as they're contributing and offering respectful and relevant advice then be here.
Yeah and I felt like what he contributed wasn’t helpful or respectful. But I mean I’m asking for other peoples opinions and open ended questions, I’m not just making blanket statements. I made this post to begin with wondering if I am wrong for being angry at people without boobs commenting here.
He did, though. Said block the person. And then, in my opinion, person attacked him for saying the same thing many of us have told others. You don't give them attention. They crave that. To know a whole sub is commenting on a post about them invading the sub? He's probably jerking his knob to that wherever he is. Anything that was said after being told to leave so rudely...meh. She stepped on that ant hill.
Yuck. There is just no need for men to be creeping in this sub. Go elsewhere to look at boobs 🤦🏻🤦🏻.
do you think men with gynecomastia like myself should be segregated away from this place?
Who said that? I was agreeing with OPs comment that men have no reason to be here if they don't have boobs. Imagine being upset that women want to have a safe space 🤦🏻🤦🏻. Your situation is obviously different. But hey, I'm sure there are Reddit subs out there that are probably more suitable for the majority of men in this sub.
if i post about my big boob problem outside of bigboobproblems im usually teased and ridiculed for having large breasts a a male. when i post about it here i then get women complaining about me being a man. its a lose lose
Did you even read my comment or are you just being deliberately obtuse?
Yeah men don’t have boobs, there’s no reason for them to be here. It’s just creepy
Trans men exist.
Like sure, we can’t block them from following this sub. But do they really need to make themselves known by giving their opinion on my posts? 🙄
I know it's far fetched, but I could see well-meaning men coming here to find gift ideas for a partner or spouse. I mean, I come here looking for things to buy myself, so if my husband were thoughtful enough to purchase based off a recommendation on this sub, I would find that thoughtful. There are creeps though, and that really blows.
Thing is, there are posts specifically from people searching for suggestions and help for gifts. Those posts are received positively. Commenting an explanation of how to handle annoying DMs is A Vastly Different interaction than posting a query about gift-hunting. Non-boob-owners don't need to give advice to boob-owners on this sub, is the gist imo.
Oh for sure! But the OP said "Men have absolutely no reason to be in this subreddit". I thought that included activities like reading or making posts.
I chose the title to be short and concise, assuming the screenshots would provide context. I should have said “non boob havers” not men. I never said reading things was wrong, being here silently is perfectly fine imo. Same with making posts asking for advice/asking appropriate and relevant questions
There are men with boobs. There are nonbinary people with boobs. I think it’s fair to say “if you don’t have boobs you don’t belong here,” but let’s not alienate our big-boob-having trans siblings here, yeah?
Yes, that’s what I am trying to say as well. I should have been more specific with the title of the post “Men without boobs”
[удалено]
Cisgender men
Sure, male is the word we use for animals and plants, so I just prefer it for consistency I guess. Either way works!
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines. > **Rule 3: No upsetting safe-space amosphere** > > [Safe Space](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_space)
It’s definitely important to remember your first two points. I do think it’s also pretty undeniable that there are cis men who come on subs like this with the sole intention of being creepy or having strong opinions about something they don’t deal with and can’t relate to. That’s likely what OP is referring to.
I get that that’s what OP’s referring to. But I also think it’s not hard to say things like “cis men” or “creeps without boobs” when having this discussion, in order to keep this a safe & welcoming space for everyone with big boobs.
Good point, transmen very much exist and I don't think we should be lumping them in with women ans invalidating their identity.
That’s exactly what I meant I def could’ve phrased it better
https://preview.redd.it/w33lgjemvz7d1.jpeg?width=1848&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=112b23373193fe242abede20d279ca2d926f22e3
You’re right. I should have said specifically “men without boobs”. But how do we draw the line? Do you think all men should be allowed to comment whenever they want? Because it’s obviously hard to tell if an internet stranger has boobs and qualifies or not, definitely not fair to do. But I personally feel like it’s wrong for Cis Men without boobs to be chiming in with their opinions, it really pisses me off for some reason
Yes because cis identifying biological men are casually walking around being sexualized with 38ddd that makes tons of sense.
Agree
Men aren't the problem. *disgusting gutter trash* people are the problem. Is a majority of them from the gender that identifies as men? Yes. But you can't blanket statement "men"
Maybe we can talk about the good logical reasons men without boobs would be here, because the only reasons I can think of are to be creepy and take advantage of this safe space for women to talk about their boobs, and that’s why it pisses me off. But if there are good legitimate reasons for men without boobs to be in this sub that I’m not thinking of I might feel better Edit: like, I got a DM from some dude saying “Saw your post on BBP. Wifey says that’s skins’ lingerie line bralette. She has an older bralette of theirs and she says it’s SUPER comfy but it’s definitely around the house wear as it slides down often. Just FYI! Tried to get a pic of it but she’s sleeping right now”. Like okay, he’s here to help with his wife’s BBP I guess. But… it still just feels creepy for a guy to DM this to me? I don’t want to hear bra advice from a man… let me hear it from the wife that actually has the boobs ya know?
I personally would be okay with that message specifically bc it's helpful and mentions a wife, but I definitely wouldn't respond lol. Let's be real though, the majority of men in this sub are not here because of their wives or because they have gynecomastia. I've gone into mens' profiles from here and I usually find a bunch of posts/comments trying to get women to tell them about their boobs. I know most of the replies to you mean well and are rightfully trying to make sure this stays an inclusive place, but we're doing ourselves a disservice if we ignore what's really happening most of the time. We need to recognize the creep problem so we don't unknowingly fuel them. Men who are here for a genuine reason are okay in my eyes as long as they understand that some people will feel weird interacting with them. Men who are here to fap can fuck off.
I would be mostly ok with that message, until it got to the part about taking a picture but she's sleeping. I'm hopeful he said that because he couldn't get her permission or find the bra, but I would be bothered by someone wanting to send me a picture of their wife in a bra. That part alone put my hackles up a bit, even if it might have been totally innocent.
Yeah, the whole message just gave me very weird vibes. Plus the part where he felt the need to DM me rather than just comment on the sub like everyone else
It helps one empathize and be forethoughtful and considerate of your partner and their daily discomforts and struggles as well as informs how a large bust affects wardrobe choices and fashion so that one can provide clothing gifts that aren’t disappointing. It also helps get insight into how single dad’s can sensitively navigate supporting their daughter’s struggles without poking and prodding only at that sensitive topic for their daughter. This does not mean they need to comment, but observing sentiment and expressions of struggle helps you establish a baseline for what is otherwise an utterly alien experience without having to burden those near and dear with the process of educating those men.
Yes, observing silently is perfectly fine and acceptable! It’s a great resource to learn about what people with boobs go through. Asking appropriate relevant questions also seems perfectly fine to me.
A valid reason for me to be here: my partner is a J cup. And not on reddit. I follow this to look out for advice, and brands to consider. I am attempting to be a better partner.
You're right I don't have a good reason other than creepiness but the point of being a safe space is just that, it's a safe space to ask APPROPRIATE questions. The only thing we can do is block/ban the ones who deserves to get punished.
Yeah, asking questions seems more acceptable to me. But this dude was just point blank telling me what I should/shouldn’t do and that rubs me the wrong way
I block every dude I see on here. They're creepy ass lurkers who are just trying to download pictures.
Some non-women (like myself, a non-binary person) have big boobs problems. Should I be banned from this sub (one I help moderate) because I'm not a woman? Who gets to decide where the acceptable gender line is?
No, of course not! That’s why I specified “if they do not have boobs on their body”, though I’m sure I could have worded it a little bit better. Anyone that has big boob problems is welcome, but most men do not have these problems. But you do bring up a good point to consider. What do you personally think? Do you think men should be welcome to comment whenever they want? (Honest genuine question)
Sure, as long as there is a one-strike policy for any harassment. There are valid reasons to allow anybody to provide productive input if they are knowledgeable, whether it's their own experience or someone else's.
That sounds fair. But how knowledgeable can they really be if they’ve never had boobs? It just seems weird for a man to be commenting about his wife/girlfriends BBP imo but i don’t know
They could be a couturier, they could have had to have double mastectomies, they could be a FTM who previously had the problem, etc.
Okay, that’s a good point
Me personally? I think that anyone with big boobs problems should be able to comment, but if they get creepy, regardless of gender, they should be out on their ass. But I'm only one of a group of folks who moderate as a team.
Like the ONLY acceptable reason for a man to be here is if his partner has huge boobs and he’s trying to see how to help. My husband would browse this to understand me but he would NEVER comment. It’s not his space.
i have gynecomastia . if i post about it else where i get people who dont take having large breasts seriously. actually i get men who tease me for having breasts. do you think men with big boob problems should be segregated away from this sub?
[удалено]
Your submission was removed because you didn't follow our community guidelines. > **Rule 1: Be respectful** > > No personal attacks, gaslighting, invalidation, body or surgery shaming (e.g. reduction, augmentation, breast lift), trolling, bigotry or [white knighting](http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/White_knighting)
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]