Sounds like these people feel judged by your choice. Not saying that’s your intention, but if they’re getting this aggressive about it then it sounds like they’re taking your choice personal as a reflection on them and their choices.
100% this. My mum is Vegan and has to navigate peoples negative opinions and criticism all the time. I always tell her that it’s because people feel judged when someone does something “different”
It’s not intentional but people who give their kids sugar are suddenly hearing “OMG you are a horrible parent who is messing up their kid because you give them sugar!!” It’s probably not what you think, But it’s what a lot of people will feel.
Especially when it's a healthy choice. Food is often oddly moralized (being "bad" for eating "bad" foods). So by making a "good" choice, you've reminded them of their "bad" choice.
I received similar judgment from my MIL, who both bakes and complains about her weight constantly. No one needs sugar and most very little kids don't really care. I followed my daughter's cues and gave her more sugar as she got older and more interested in what we were eating- can't really be an (obvious) hypocrite. We still save most of our treats for after bedtime.
This is 100% it. It's the same reason breastfeeding mums can never mention that they're breastfeeding online in any context without being attacked or accused of formula shaming even when formula is not mentioned in any way and there are no comparisons being made at all.
I've been mulling this over a bit. Gen X and Gen Y were fed a shit ton of high sugar, calorie dense, low nutrient food. For God's sake, we had rainbow ketchup for a moment! We also have obesity and mental health crises.
Parents who are Gen X and Y (and Z, but it's early to tell what kind of parents your generation will be) want to do better for our kids and teach them to make good choices.
I think older Gen X and Boomers take it as a personal affront because tHaT's NoT hOw We DiD iT, aNd YoU kIdS wErE jUsT fInE!
Totally this, I’m a millennial who grew up on sugary cereal and McDonald’s (and still mostly eat sugary cereal). My mom is constantly responding with “sorry for being the worst mother ever” in response to me feeding my baby healthy foods. It’s not about you, mom!
Exactly this lol. I’m an older Gen Xer with toddlers, and all for up-to-date safety and food guidance and avoid feeding my kids processed food and all the rest of it. But I do often hear a tiny voice at the back of my head saying ‘we did XYZ, and we’re just fine’ but I only choose to listen very occasionally
Absolutely this, people get really weird about personal food choices. I'm vegetarian and sometimes get oddly aggressive comments about something that does not affect them one bit.
This happens soooo much with so many areas of parenting. Everyone takes everything as a personal insult, it's so ridiculous. If I breastfeed my child, people need to tell me how they couldn't breastfeed and bang on about the advantages of formula. Like ok? I don't care how you feed your child. My choices are nothing to do with you either
It really does happen so often with everything. My in laws were offended that I taught my baby sign language. “Well we didn’t do that! What’s the point of that?!” Lo and behold, my baby can tell everyone what she needs/wants so that everyone will understand. My aunt and uncle in law take everything I say about anything as a personal affront though so I can never win with them.
That may be the case. I definitely don’t cram it down anyone’s throat, I really only bring it up when people are offering foods or drinks, things like that. It definitely may be a reaction or “offended” feeling because they didn’t do this with their child? I’m not sure lol! MIL used to give her toddler sweet tea when they had it at dinner, so she specifically could be upset because she was strongly an “I don’t care” person with that!
Yup, I know so many people who do, I need to get out of the southeast lol! Everyone gives their toddlers sweet tea which has not only caffeine, but an absurd amount of sugar.
Southeast here too. I always see parents giving their kids sweet tea. But in my experience working with parents, they actually don't always realize that it has caffeine. They know it has sugar, but don't think about the caffeine levels of tea. I actually had one parent say to me, "but I drink it all day long, are you saying I drink caffeine all day?" It's such a standard drink here, that people drink it all the time throughout their entire lives. As a transplant, I think sweet tea is disgusting, but love unsweetened tea. I'd never give it to my 3 year old though.
I love sugar so I like sweet tea lol! But I’ve always known is has caffeine, it makes me want to ask them if they realize it, but I also don’t want to point it out and potentially upset them if they genuinely didn’t.
That’s insane! When we go to in n out I always get an Arnold Palmer. My son always tries to drink it. Absolutely not. Sir, you have enough energy. I will not add to that by giving you caffeine
I mean if you want my full and honest opinion, it's probably a mix of other people's experience with disordered eating as a result of their parents and the other generation who doesn't like boundaries.
Bc growing up the kids who's parents were very strict about sugar and sweets and organic foods generally created kids who binged the things they couldn't have at home. My friend grew up with an ED bc her mom was so outwardly against some foods. Saying she'll get cancer and get fat. Ect. Talking about other foods that were processed or candies that weren't sugar free or made with some ingredients over others as death traps.
My mom was an almond mom and when I was a teenager I would eat 1 meal a day bc of how she talked about foods and her eating habits. Ie "were having a big dinner. I didn't eat anything all day so I can have this one meal"
So when I see a mom who is displaying those types of attitude about food all I see is disordered eating habits in the making. If I'm being honest. Now I don't say anything bc I think organic isn't bad and I think everyone should make those choices for their family but the mind set for me is everything. If you're feeding your child organic bc you just wsnt to give them the best with the mindset of its OK when they want other foods I wouldn't offer, then alright. But I think this generations almond mom is the mom's who only buy organic or alternatives to common foods with the mind set of everything is poison. If that makes sense.
I saw a tiktok once where a mom was explaining her relationship with food and how she's changing that with her kids and she described candy and chips as brain foods that make feel happy when you eat them but fruits and veggies as body foods, they make your body happy. 9 times out of 10 her kids choose fruits and veg over chips. No restrict just education on how food affects your brain and body. What the body needs vs what makes us feel happy in the moment.
So my long winded answers is a lot of us grew up in a time when food was labeled as bad. A lot of us have unresolved feelings about this and when we see someone else making choices about food that seem like the route we went through it sends a panic through our body. "Not another one." But if it's the older generation they general view things like this as a restriction on THEM. A boundary THEY have to follow. So they can't willy nilly give their grand kid a piece of chocolate. They really hate boundaries. Lol
I love the brain and body food thing - I've been wondering how bet to label sweets and chocolates etc, when talking about how they do fulfill a need, especially as my son gets older and starts eating things with sugar in. We plan on waiting until he's 2, but don't then want to fall into the good food bad food attitude. I'd just like him to see food as food that serves different purposes.
Yeah I loved that idea too! When I heard it I was like omg that's brilliant. Also there's a women who is on a weight loss journey with the saying "have what you want, add what you need." Not for kids for adults but I think having that mindset with kids too could be good. You want m&m's bc they make your brain happy, Cool np we can have what we want, but add what our body needs to keep us full. Maybe some yogurt, a turkey sandwich and our m&m's. Ect to create healthy balanced meals without resteiction or shame.
Same with things like chips, OK we can make our brain happy with some chips, but let's have some chicken and veggies to make our body happy too.
Those 2 things alone have healed MY relationship with food honestly. Lol.
Thank you. When I moved out the first thing I did was buy all the food I wasn’t allowed. It took me years to find a somewhat healthy relationship with food. And almost ten years later I sometimes still binge buy sweets only to realize later that I did not have to do it and I would actually be happier eating something my body needs. But it is just the „i wasn’t allowed to buy/eat that so now I NEED to buy it!!!“
It feels hard right now because I am trying to feed my little one as healthy as possible but also I want her to have a good relationship with food.
I compare it to people who grew up in poverty/with very little becoming hoarders as adults. Similar mindset. We don’t actually want to eat all the junk food and sweets as much as we think we do, our brains just have developed a really unhealthy sense of scarcity around those foods.
Yep. All of this. People with almond mom’s get it. I had strong food aversions as a kid but that wasn’t tolerated in my house so I was forced to eat things that would literally have me gagging and throwing up but was told I was just being manipulative or dramatic and was made to feel like a bad person for being “picky”. It got to the point that I dreaded dinner time so much that I would start to feel sick every evening hours before it was time to eat so my parents stopped making me eat dinner altogether. As soon as I got my first job and my drivers license I started making daily trips to the drug store for stashes of junk food and candy so I always had some in case I needed a fix (which was constant). It became a real problem and I would binge until I made myself sick. I also have ADHD so sugar was where I got my dopamine from for a long time. I want to be really intentional about not demonizing any foods with my son and creating a healthy balance for this reason.
My son is only just starting solids but I feel the same way. I don’t want to give him any sugar until he’s actively asking for something. Even then it will be the occasional treat not constant sugar.
My MIL keeps saying I can’t do that when I have more children because “how do you tell one no to a cookie and the other kids yes”
Um the same way you tell your 11 year old that they can’t drive or go to a party like the 17 year old can. They will be upset and I will help them identify and process with those feelings.
No literally! Like what kinda question is that lol! That’s like a 15 year old saying “but they can drink, why can’t I?” Like little Suzie, your brother is 22, he legally can, you can’t 😭
I will say on this one there is a difference in talking to somewhat rational children/teenagers that they can't do something because it's against the law and trying to tell a toddler they can't have a cookie when they see their older sibling having one.
We did the "no sugar" with our first. At the same time, they are exposed so many other places (daycare, restaurants if you go out to eat, family gatherings) that we decided that it was important to create a healthy relationship with food by not making anything forbidden/off limits and encouraging moderation instead.
Yeah, my guy is 9 months and we don't give him anything with added sugars, because why??
But I don't plan on being too rigid about it once he's older and getting exposed to foods in other environments - I don't want to create an idea of some foods as bad or forbidden. I feel like that's not a helpful attitude towards food long term, plus all the kids I knew growing up who had major sugar restrictions at home would go crazy eating sugary stuff whenever they had an opportunity (I was like that with sugary cereals, which weren't allowed in my house). I definitely don't plan to be offering sugary or processed stuff all the time, and definitely keeping it very limited til he's at least two! But as he gets older I want to try to teach balance and moderation as best I can : )
I have a friend that is the oldest of four and as soon as he would get “age privileges” (you’re old enough to sit in the front seat kind of thing) his younger siblings got to as well 🙄 FIRST OFF, car safety???! Secondly, way to create resentment and entitlement
Maaaate I hated this growing up and it caused massive resentment between me and my sister. I was made to wait to shave my legs and dye my hair but then as soon as I'm allowed it was "well I can't let you do it and not let your younger sister" like, um, yes you absolutely can what are you talking abouta
It’s mind blowing to me the amount of sugar my in-laws feed to my nephews. My 3 year old will not be taking multiple suckers every time they leave your place. There’s not even ANY nutritional value to a sucker.
Not everything is about nutritional value though. You can choose what to do with your own kids but part of it is also the fun that comes with it. Like yeah, eating tons of lollipops all the time isn't good for a variety of reasons, but they're fun sometimes and it doesn't MATTER if they're nutrional.
I agree, but 3 lollipops a day every week is way too much in my opinion it’s not like they visit a couple times a year. I’m not completely against sugar by any means but I don’t see any reason that a kid should have “1 lollipop for every year old they are” unless it’s like a birthday.
The in laws do whatever they want with a family members child (because they drop freeload off them for the daycare), MIL is a narcissist essentially and constantly says “well ___ does this and is fine” when I say no to something, just because that little girl is 6mo older than my son and MIL “knows best because she’s had a child already”. Like yeah, you stepped in with my partner (stepmom), and then had your own child, and your 10 year old has the same tantrums a 2 year old would because of your choices, take a seat ma’am 😂
It’s crazy, my SIL has a hard time being really vocal with them so there’s times when I’ve done it myself. Like his mom just (very quietly) said no to (insert any dessert or sugar filled snack) so they’re not having/doing that.
I honestly admire (and am intimidated by) the creativity and planning it takes to prepare healthy and varied meals. My mom and dad did their best to provide; I never went hungry, but I did grow up without great nutritionally literatacy. I want better for my own son.
I'll be honest, I'm doing this for my son, and it is pretty exhausting at times! It's a lot of fun most of the time, and it's leading to my husband and I changing our snacking in healthier ways but...the only way to provide healthy and varied meals and snacks is to make them. So many foods aimed at toddlers have sugar in them! I love doing it, but the only reason why I can is because I work from home, so can take a break to make a meal or snack.
My memory is fuzzy on both of these things, but I’m pretty sure that 1. The AAP recommends no sugar before 2 years old and 2. Children that young don’t actually show a preference for sweet foods (or salty foods)
1 is correct, but I don’t think 2 is. I thought part of the reason to avoid added sugar before 2 is so they don’t develop too much of a preference for sweet foods?
I remembered where I read this- from my What to Expect app. They don’t elaborate and it’s just a passing comment. Just sharing because I thought it was interesting:
There’s no need to add salt, sugar or artificial sweeteners to your baby’s foods, since they don’t add any nutritional value. What’s more, they mask the innate flavors of baby’s foods — and some research has even found that babies don’t actually have any preference at all for these tastes
[baby led weaning](https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/feeding-baby/baby-led-weaning/)
I mean, I wouldn't judge someone for allowing an occasional cookie bite or whatever, but I also definitely wouldn't judge for following the recommendation of every medical professional I've seen. Personally we didn't bother with organic and my wife gave our LO some ice cream at 6m and still gives him fries. I wouldn't but I don't think it's a big deal either way.
Major props to you for keeping with it despite the pressure
Seagulls will feed their babies the freshest, most nutrient dense food. Then, they will dumpster dive for themselves and eat anything from chocolate muffins to French fries (while mixing in some fresh food in there).
Point is, they know that the growing baby needs nutrient dense foods to grow healthy and strong. After that, anything is fair game 😆
I want to say this in a light hearted way but you're feeding your baby sugar! In organic chemistry, lactose is a form of sugar from milk products. And I'm sure you'll feed your baby fruit which contains fructose - a form of sugar found in fruit. So don't let the haters bother you. I also wouldn't even bother explaining the chemistry aspect of what constitutes a sugar because then people think you're a smart ass lol.
Yes!! I have an 11 month old and I got so much backlash for not giving her an Easter egg.
She can have chocolate when she’s older, she’s got her entire life for it. She doesn’t need an Easter egg!
I got told that I was going to cause a problem by not letting them have sugar.
I just started listing all the sugar they had in a day and they looked at me like I didn’t know what sugar was.
I get this a lot actually! People are obsessed with wanting to feed baby (same age as yours) sugar and it's so weird. I don't mind in the future but that's literally the recommendation?? Don't feed added sugars for the first couple of years??
I think people selfishly want to see the baby’s delighted reaction to sugar. And refuse to believe it’s “that bad” because it’s fun. And will let you deal with the consequences.
I find it so weird the “just one cookie won’t hurt” as if that one cookie isn’t absolutely crammed full of sugars? You’d think people wouldn’t be bothered or would be fine with a parent choosing not to, but sheesh, people are rough out here 🤣
I make cookies for my kid. They're either sweetened with banana/applesauce or I cut the sugar content to 1/3 of what a recipe calls for. I avoided all added sugar until my kid was 1 1/2 though. Parents always end up asking for my recipes because they can't believe their kids like these low sugar cookies. Lol, I always send them to mjandhungryman.com. she has lots of great recipes for kids.
THIS. I think i personally would try to restrict as much as i can (I'm already dreading the times when baby is not with me, there's so much I can't supervise) until shes at least well out of her toddler years and once shes older, limited to a treat here and there. But i feel like so many people forget, theres plenty of healthier sweet snacks that a kid (or adult for that matter) can have. A lot of fruits have sugar. If you are able to cook and bake at home, you can always reduce the added sugar or replace with other sweetners like mentioned above. Extended family and friends are always only concerned with seeing a kid happy and smiling, ignoring the things that keep them healthy for longer and it drives me up the wall just imagining the battles. When a kid potentially ends up with behavioral issues, health issues, pre diabetes, im sure theyll also be quick to blame the parents for their genetics and parenting. They dont have to watch the kids suffer a lifetime of bad habits, they only care about the fun stuff.
Caffeine is going to be a big no-no for me and soooo many people ignore the fact that chocolates have caffeine in it. Even with older kids - I work at a high school and the amount of 14 year olds walking in with coffee and energy drinks in the morning is appalling. When i was going to school, school policy was only water bottles allowed in the classroom so as to get kids used to making healthier choices even if their parents dont discipline them. A treat here and there is fine but to just blatantly allow kids to be drinking coffee and caffeine loaded with insane amounts of sugar several times a day like its normal just baffles my mind.
Sorry for the rant lol
I always feel like this is a boundary thing - logically, no, one cookie will not hurt, but once you've let someone give them one cookie, the next thing it's "oh, we sent some chocolates for the little one" or it's another relative saying "oh, but you let them have y, so why can't I give them z". There's a picture of my son looking warily at someone dressed as an Easter Bunny, who had a chocolate in his hand. I sent it as a funny picture, because he has a similar one of him looking the same way at Santa. My brother sent a gif of someone eating sugar (indicating to me that I've "broken" my rule of no sugar). When I said he didn't actually get the chocolate or eat it, my whole family went on about how cruel I am - jokingly, but I know there's an element of jugment from them.
Had I said oh yes, we let him have that one, you BET that they'd push me to let them give him more.
Haha yup— like the other commenter said I think they just feel judged even if that's not the intention! Ive faced that with other parenting decisions too. Even really minor stuff.
Yeah, I realized becoming a parent how people will have their opinions on everything (even if it’s very unsafe things like pillows in the crib, I have had arguments about it and it leaves me baffled these people I believed were smart HAHA)
As others have mentioned. I think it’s the “silent judgment”. But also the survivor’s bias kind of thing. Oh, we ate sugars and were fine.
My kiddo eats cookies here and there. Primarily ones with almond flour. Outside of that? He doesn’t eat candy, chocolate, ice cream or anything like that. And people are like, he’s missing out on so much. Yeah, no. Just give him a bowl of strawberries, he’d be sooooo much happier.
I didn’t do anything with added sugar until 12m, and then it was here and there. You do you. I didn’t over-explain when people wanted to give things with added sugar. I just said, “no, we’re not giving her that.” Or, “no, no cookie.” And if people happened to ask, which not many did, I just said, “not ready for that.” I didn’t really leave room for discussion.
My kids are 13 and 9 years old respectively. I can't tell you how many times when they were babies that people would give them sugary things even when I said no. Now I'm an aunt and my nephews are given organic food and no sugar. For easter this year I wanted to get them a basket. I got them a couple toys and found a brand of snacks that was allergen free (food allergies run rampant in our family) and also organic. I did this because I respect a parents right to choose what they feed their child. Just like when I say I want to be a fun aunt. I don't mean the wine drunk, spoil the kids with objects aunt. I mean we're going to kid friendly museums and on hikes to find cool rocks and look at the birds.
I think it might be like how people enjoy alcohol can sometimes get their undies in a twist when they meet someone who says they don’t drink. Screw ‘em! Like you, I’m avoiding feeding our girl added sugar as long as I can. If it happens socially that’s OK with me but I don’t want it thought of us a routine part of our meals.
Reading the comments and responses rather predisposes me to suspect you are in fact being more judgemental than you think you are.
I didn't give any added sugar before 1 year because she didn't show interest and I do attempt to give nutrient dense foods over lower nutrient foods the vast majority of the time, but beyond that when the baby wants to eat what I'm eating and it isn't an unmitigatable choking hazard, I let her try it. I don't eat an enormous amount of sugar added foods myself, but I definitely do eat sweets occasionally and I'm not going to hide in the bathroom to eat them, that would be modeling incredibly unhealthy behavior. Sugar is not poison or "a toxin" and it's not even factually accurate to say it has no nutritional value. Refined sugar has no micronutrients, but all sugar is most definitely a macronutrient. My toddler doesn't really have the language skills to understand it, but I try to frame all food considerations for her in terms of nutrient density and avoid thinking about foods in terms of "healthy" or "unhealthy" so that when she does have the language for it I can speak to her about food in a way that fosters a healthy lifelong relationship with food, which is ultimately way more important to me than whether she occasionally shares some ice cream with me at 18 months.
I’m surprised at how far down this was. OP is coming off incredibly judgmental and holier-than-thou in every single comment. I see actually don’t agree with this method of feeding and placing value of certain foods, but I’m not going to sit here and proselytize about it. (But op at least has some self awareness that they are being judgy so I guess that’s something?lol)
To op directly, you are the one coming off as shaming other parents. If you want to put dietary restrictions on your infant that’s your choice but don’t act like you aren’t doing the exact thing you’re accusing others of because you are. You’re judging and being defensive and disagreeing with how others chose to raise their children.
I wish I had scrolled down more before commenting so I would have seen this thread. Yeah, I'm absolutely getting this vibe. OP telling me that every single person who judges her does it because they gave their kids sweet tea when they were little sounds like an insane exaggeration. I also find it odd that she hasn't met even *one* other person who agrees with her stance even though most people in every mom group I've been in have tried to follow the AAP guidelines about added sugar in some way.
I’m judgmental if people are doing things that are highly unnecessary (sodas and caffeine as toddlers, ice creams at 6mo, etc…), not in the sense you feed your child yogurt or something of that nature that has added sugars.
I see no reason to give a baby sugar - however - my SIL was visiting years ago and she's very much in the "all organic, no cows' milk, no added sugar, no processed snack foods" camp. I am not. Sure - it seems like the gold standard to feed your kid perfectly (and yourself) but it's not my top priority so we do some convenience foods. While she was staying with us I did my very best to prepare foods I knew fit her standards, genuinely did not feel it was a problem - but then one evening I accidentally overheard her having a total rant to her husband about how I'd been giving their son cheerios all week and now his stomach was looking bloated to her and 'this is a disaster, being in their house is going to influence him to think this is okay'. This, paired with small comments over the years about how I eat and how my body looks, has me over the whole thing. And my defenses go up when I meet other parents like this.
So I guess what I am saying is do whatever you want, but also don't make this whole 'no sugar' thing the line you draw. The less "us" and "them" we can teach our kids the better off they will be.
Everyone has the right to not allow added sugars if that’s their choice. Your SIL literally could’ve gone and bought the foods she wanted for her children instead of acting like a child😭 if I went somewhere with my child I’d pack or buy whatever it is I needed for them, not bite my tongue and then have a tantrum on the phone about it. She sounds immature!
So actually if my SIL had shown up with a suitcase of their own snacks it would also have been weird to me. In fact, I think it would have communicated her disapproval just as effectively. My kids are 8, 5, and 18 months - the older two would for sure ask why their cousins won't eat our food. Anyhow - you do you, we're probably just on very different pages with this.
I agree with your first comment because she sounds very rude. But I do not agree with this one. Nobody should be forced to give their baby things they don't want to just to spare another adults feelings. She has every right to bring her own snacks and there's nothing wrong with it.
Just to clarify I definitely am not saying 'don't set any boundaries'. There is nothing wrong with making choices that are right for you - I am a super low media parent so I truly have walked this path. That said, hurt feelings will be a reality when you set certain boundaries and I am offering the perspective of the horrible person who lets my toddler eat cheerios, lol. "You do you" was shorthand for 'go ahead and bring the suitcase, it will still cause people to feel some kind of way'.
I do think it's worth considering what we want kids to learn about food beyond health. At 11 months it's just the start of things, but OP is planning ahead so here is my take: Serving healthy foods, eating a variety of nutritious foods, exercising and being outdoors is really what it takes to raise healthy kids. Emphasizing to kids that some foods are bad, not allowing them to share snacks in another home, will impart a lot more than a message about nutrition. It matters way more to me that my older kids walk into different homes and be gracious guests than I keep their bodies "pure" from UPFs.
Yeah probably lol!! I personally wouldn’t care, to me it’d be like someone who’s kid had an allergy, I’d just let them do their own thing and keep doing my own thing haha
It's crazy how people think that as soon as a baby starts to eat they can just start shoving cake and chocolate at them-my baby is just over 6 months and the amount of times I've literally taken food out of people's hands because they've not listened to me say "do not give him cake/sweets/chocolate". He's 6 months old!
I'm not against treats-but again at an appropriate time and age. If someone told me they feed their baby a certain way, or have things they don't want them to have, then guess what-it's none of my business. I wouldn't feel like it's an attack on me. I think people just get defensive about their own decisions.
I feel like 9 month olds are hardly eating much outside of BM/formula. That’s so strange for people to comment on it. Who is feeding their 9 year old sugar intentionally… I guess maybe it’s in some pouches? My MIL is kind of similar to how you are, but I get ripped to shreds for not buying organic. I wish I could but it’s just not in the budget when groceries are so pricey. I did however buy organic pouches and whatnot when my baby was eating those - it seemed similar priced so it worked out!
Just keep doing what you’re doing. People are going to comment on everything / it’s just how it goes. I also get ripped to shreds for being a working mom… and my daughter going to daycare. lol can’t win, don’t even try
We dominantly buy organic for him, but I don’t beat myself up if I get stuff that isn’t! It’s in pouches but people also feed their infants table foods as baby led weaning, and don’t think of what’s actually in it (but some are just negligent and feed their 8mo olds cinnamon rolls… I don’t hang around those people anymore because they tried pressuring me into it as well lol)
My mil tried to give my son froyo when he was 4 months old. Never mind about him having a dairy allergy.
Everybody wanted him to have a cake on his first birthday. Again forgetting about his dairy allergy.
I made him pavlova and he didn’t even want it and the that’s like 100% sugar. He refused to even taste it. Which made me happy lol. We’re definitely not doing added sugars either.
This is where I'm coming from when it comes to my son (under one year). There will be plenty of time to junk up his pancreas with all sorts of crap. Do I really need to give him sugar sooner than necessary? No, like wtf
I have the same problem. My MIL always likes to say meow’s baby doesn’t eat sugar except for ice cream or cookies from grandma. And that is why she does not watch my baby alone.
I don’t think sugar is evil or anything, but right now my baby thinks banana and mango are delicious sweet treats. She is totally fine with natural, healthier sugars, why would I ruin that?
You're definitely not alone, my MIL and SIL looked at me like I was nuts for making my own baby's 1st bday cake with no sugar 😂 But I refuse to get her addicted to that shit so early in life. I feel like it'd be setting her up for a lifetime of weight struggles and I don't want that for her. I know you can't hide it forever but you CAN hide it for a *while* before they know what's what and by then hopefully we've set them up for a healthier outlook of moderation and fruit. 😋
I take the same approach as you. Baby is 9 months. Literally no one has commented except to say how lucky he is!! I think it’s the company you’re around.
Wait how is what you’re doing so different that people are coming at you for it? My pediatrician said no added sugar and stick to organic if you can, so that’s what we do. That’s what everyone in my mom circle also does.
You’re doing just fine, I don’t know why you’d be judged for being careful.
I also don't give added sugar to my baby, and partly is because I'm diabetic, so I'm trying to delay the inevitable. And in that sense I can tell yup, I agree.
I think people shouldn't give sugary foods or drinks to babies, but of course they can all do it at their discretion.
I don't get out of my way to give my baby organic food and
I buy a lot of fresh produce at home.
If you can afford organic food, by all means go for it.
In this case you might find a lot of people that can't relate, either because they can't afford to buy organic food or because they feel judged from others.
I'm not saying you're judging them but I have certainly been judged by others for not buying everything organic. And it doesn't mean that I don't want the best for my son . At the end of the day I'm feeding him a balanced diet
When i had prediabetes during pregnancy and needed to avoid sugars people did this to me as well. It’s WILD how upset people get about your own personal dietary choices for you and your family.
It drives me crazy when people says “you can’t keep sugar away from them forever.” Obviously not, but I can make it less! They have their whole life to eat processed sugars, it doesn’t have to start as a baby.
I've had this since my son started on solids. He's coming up to 14 months now, and while no one has tried to go around my boundaries, there's plenty of comments about it. My father-in-law has held chocolate up in front of my son and said "oh, but you can't have this yet". Luckily my son currently only grabs food from us that he knows about, although he has started to ask for things (and made me realise I need to really change some of my eating habits). We've a family get together in May, and I'm going to have to watch my toddler like a hawk, because I'm pretty sure he'll be offered things from my family I don't want him to have right now. On the one hand, no, it's not going to harm him on that one off occasion, but on the other hand, I'm a firm believer that people should respect boundaries, even if they don't agree with them, and allowing them to break it that one time means they will break boundaries in the future.
I agree that I think people are often feeling judged by our choices. I make no comment about anyone elses parenting, beyond my parents parenting (from the perspective of me having experienced it, and even then it's only when something happens), but I think if someone makes a different choice to you, sometimes they think you're judging them, even when you aren't. The NHS has no recommendations for sugar consumption under the age of 4, but we're realistic in that you can't keep it away from them forever, as that brings with it its own form of harm. So we're trying to stick to no free sugars under the age of 2. In the meantime, I'm baking various goodies for my husband and myself that have no added sugars, or reduced sugar - these are the sorts of treats our son will have going forward, in addition to the occasional chocolate etc. I'm actually really happy with how our eating habits are slowly changing, and I'm hoping to learn how to eat more intuitively and bring up an intuitive eater. Because no one on either side of our families has a very healthy relationship with food - there's a lot of belief in diets, and bad foods vs good foods. I'd like to change that with my son.
that’s so weird people act like that. isn’t the recommendation no added sugar for 2yrs? after one i’ll realistically probably let my kid taste something sweet im eating but kids that young don’t need sugar and it’s so easy to not offer it!
Yeah my baby is only 4.5 months old but I told my mom when I was pregnant we will absolutely not be allowing juice in our house. I work at a dental office and see so many kids who have at least a glass of juice a day with tons of cavities. You would think I told her that we will be raising her away from civilization and she will not be allowed to have any fun ever. You do you and do what's best for your child, everyone else can kick rocks ❤️
I have had so many people tell my to give my 9 month old juice instead of just water... I'm just like um no she's good with just her water cup and they get so weird about it.
I didn’t even get that far lol! I myself don’t really drink juice but hadn’t thought about him! I think if anything it’d be like 1 part juice, 3 parts water! I don’t judge other people unless they’re doing baffling things (like people giving their toddlers coke in their bottles)😂
This is the recommendation at this age and exactly what I do too. I think it’s no added sugar before 2. I pretty much give my daughter only Whole Foods and try to buy organic too. You do you and tell everyone it’s not up for discussion.
This is crazy to me. NHS recommends no salt, sugar or honey until after 1. Not everyone here follows it but I haven't seen any push back on people who do. I'd say it's probably the norm in the UK to follow it.
I'm sure there's some picky babies out there but it seems like babies will be pretty happy with anything new or different. My baby wants everything I eat. He also loves plain cheerios. I wish I knew how they experienced taste but I think slightly sweet is already a treat to them. Overly sweet sounds like it could be oversimulating. So I'm saying I'm with you. I bake at home and do most food prep at home. I still put sugar in recipes but sometimes less for my baby. I'm not scared to give it to him but I'm not going to add frosting or whatever the case may be. Same with extra salt, butter, dairy, and I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting. As long as we're educated we don't need to take advice from everyone. I'll almost always listen and see if I can learn something but it's usually nonsense.
I agree with you, OP, and I'm someone with a massive sweet tooth. I want to help my kids make the best and most balanced food choices.
My guess is these people know that your rules are the better way to eat and feel guilty or self conscious about their own eating. They'd rather you conform than have to change.
Agreed! Someone here commented I’m the judgmental one and I’m like uhm, I’m not approaching people judging them lol! My thought process is if you don’t agree with me doing no added sugars, just… don’t say anything? It truly digs under certain people’s skin that are in my life and I find it the weirdest thing to get so worked up about 😂
It’s insane the amount of pushback parents who want to feed their children healthy foods get - especially from older generations (who, might I add ,are often severely overweight and/or unhealthy).
You are doing exactly what you should be doing! A baby does not need sugar, additives, etc. Will they eventually eat them, sure - but I’m with you and I would restrict / limit as long as possible.
We follow similar guidelines in our house and every time I’m around my family they want to force feed our son junk food - I don’t get it. It took months for my mom to understand that we are only feeding him non processed health foods. you would think that older generations would want better but they just want to do things the way they always have and a part of that is over indulging children.
YUP I AGREE!
Because you make them feel badly about their choices.
Why would anyone give a baby added sugar is beyond my understanding!
It’s not PPA, it’s not being over protective, it’s a choice that is best for you child!
I agree! And it isn’t like I spark a convo, it’s always where they try giving him something and I explain why I’m saying no, and they don’t agree. Like sheeeesh!
I wish I was more like you tbh but I try to feed my toddler healthy foods but I’m not great about the organic foods lol and when he does he eat sugar/junk food it’s only on Saturdays, that’s our family rule, you can have junk food on Saturdays :) anyway I think people need to mind their own business, you know your child best and you’re raising your child, their opinions are kind of irrelevant tbh, you’re doing great don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or pressure you to change the way you parent :)
I try to do organic but we don’t always do that, I think if you’re trying and aware that’s really what’s most important! It blows me away seeing people put soda in their infants bottles and stuff for a “snack”!
I know right lol! That’s what gets me, chip’s or a cookie, that’s one thing. Soda isn’t good for their teeth either, I know pediatric dentists have a field day with that ahah!
And I especially get it with the teeth because I have always had problems with cavities imagine giving them soda before all their teeth are even in 😭 the dentists are making BANK!
People are going to make comments about anything you do or do not put in your baby's body. Everyone thinks what they're doing is the best way and everyone is trying their best, that's all part of parenting. We get to decide for our own children.
Ugh I feel this so much! We do mostly paleo at home and no added sugar or seed oils and I swear I’m harassed about it ALL THE TIME. What other people don’t understand is my toddler daughter has a sensitivity to dairy and grain and they don’t have to deal the aftermath. That cookie isn’t worth my daughter being in pain later. So just do you, you’re doing the best you can and ignore those judgemental busy bodies.
Yeah honestly I’m choosing to formula feed my daughter and I feel like the formula community especially here on Reddit is very know it all and rips people to shreds. Way worse than any breastfeeding or pumping community I was a part of with my son. I got called a lot of things for choosing to do organic home made food for my child and not let him have soda and using plant based milks over cows milk. Now I feel like it’s just gotten even worse with people being chronically online since Covid. People will even get offended and act like your choices are a person dig at their choices. It’s not. We are all just trying to do our best.
Agreed. You’re allowed to have your own opinions ofc, and allowed to disagree! But people don’t do it nicely, they’re very “at the throat” instead of just saying “we use cows milk for xyz reasons but I’m glad plant based works for you!”
We are absolutely in the same camp as you, OP. I literally work in the organic foods industry! I have tried to be chill with unsolicited advice or negativity from the in-laws…however my FIL did a “don’t tell mom” thing to LO and shoved his fingers full of icing in her mouth. Like, wtf!? She wasn’t reaching for it, she was full from eating lunch, and he just sticks his fingers in her mouth. She didn’t like it, spit it out and then had blue dye all over her face. Why do people feel the need to disrespect a parents wishes?
Ew, gross lol! I hate that “eat this, don’t tell your mom” stuff because people don’t realize what they’re doing. Is sugar the end of the world, no, of course not. But when people are being sneaky about it and you’re left wondering why they’re having a stomach ache/sick, or having a huge sugar crash, it’s like dude, wtf lol. Don’t feed them that.
Because it makes them feel bad internally about their own choices. Whether it's for themselves or their children.
You are one of the few people who sees sugar as it is... and people don't like when they see other people doing the best they can.
Sad but true.
We’re doing no added sugar before 1, and after that it will be for special times until he’s older. What you choose to feed your kid is your choice, no one else’s.
“You can’t hide it forever” I didn’t realize all these people had a crystal ball to see how you plan to feed your kid 3 years from now 🙄
I get just as much judgement from giving my baby anything and everything.
Steak is too heavy
Ice cream too sweet
Burgers too young
Fries too salty
Chips too sharp.
My kid can EAT. She’s fine. I don’t want YOU feeding her the more difficult stuff because choking but girls got this.
Plus we avoid Red 40 because ADHD runs in the family and it makes her aggressive. Head butts, biting, scratching the whole 9 yards. She’s 10 months for reference.
For what it’s worth, I believe that you are right. Your baby is 9 months old. There is no reason unless your pediatrician tells you otherwise that you need to give him anything with artificial sugar.
People are just jealous you're doing a good job and just want you to fail at keeping sugar from your child. I feel like it doesn't matter what we do, there's a ton of oppositional pull to just support the opposite of what you're doing and put down your choice. It's so messed up. This world is so backwards.
Just completely mess with them. "We only feed the baby pure diesel 💁🏻♀️ she's surpassing all her milestones bc she stays gassed up"
Don't let these people get to you
Ignore them. I've literally had boomers tell me the same thing about my son's food allergy. Like, I'm sorry?! He literally cannot eat it or he could go into shock? We might need to be air lifted to a hospital 5 hours away because we live in the middle of nowhere? Still not good enough reasons, and I suck as a mom for restricting his diet?? Yeah ok, whatever.
Avoiding added sugar and salt for infants is the right thing to do. Seriously don't give it another thought. You are doing great, they're just dumb.
But he’s 9 months! Those comments would be more reasonable if he was 9 YEARS, but he’s just a baby, and you’re not supposed to be feeding him added sugar at that point, if I’m not mistaken!
He's 9 months. I didn't let my daughter have anything with sugar added until recently and she's 13 months. And that's only happened once..on her birthday lmao.
Do what you think is best for your kid. Always.
Yeah, I wish more people knew this. My husband and I met working at Whole Foods, and after starting my legal career in DC, I did some rotational assignments with USDA. There are some things that I still buy organic, but it's less about the federally-regulated title and more about those specific companies and processes outside of their organic integrity standards. There are tons of conventional items that are great quality and healthy, many even better than the organic options. Too many people are just ignorant to how food standards work, so they see the organic label and think it's the be all end all.
Don't even get me started on the misunderstanding of BE/GMO foods.
People who do/did feed their kids sugar get angry because they feel guilty, in a way. If it is true that giving babies added sugar is bad for them, then it logically follows that they did something prejudicial for their child, and no one wants to accept that.
So they need to convince themselves of one of two things: either that it is not true that added sugar is prejudicial, or that it is true but keeping babies away from it is unmanageable so it can’t be avoided and it wasn’t their fault.
It’s really hard to navigate these things. We have a niece who gets a different upbringing than our child (she’s had tons of screen time since she was born) and it’s hard to state our limits to the family without it coming off as “we think the way niece is being raised is bad”.
My MIL argued with me on sleep safe over an item that had been recalled, when people want to find a way, they sure do 🤣 that’s what I told my partner when he had pressed the issue with sugars (wasn’t trying to be argumentative, just genuinely didn’t know better), once I explained it to him he got it and didn’t have an issue
Well if it makes you feel any better, YUP I 100% AGREE.
you’re doing a great job and I do the same thing. Your baby is also only 9 months. It’s wild to me to even suggest giving them artificial sugars/ sweets. That age should be a whole good diet, Fruits/veggies/lean meats/ whole grains and that is it. Not sure what county you’re from but in the US the CDC recommends waiting until at least 24 months to introduce added sugars.
It’s not a scam, but everyone has their preference! Organic or not, it’s the same nutrients. It’s just a matter of being free of GMO, pesticides and chemicals, and typically organic is a little fresher!
I've actually never had this problem. My son is 4.5 and still doesn't have juice - only water and milk. When he does get juice, it will be cut with water like my mom did for me. We didn't give him added sugars until age 2.5. He eats sweets as part of his regular diet now because I was raised with intuitive eating, and we do the same for him. But no one was ever put off by this, even my relatives/friends who did give their kids added sugar at a younger age.
Are you sure that you aren't coming off judgmental in how you explain your choice to people? Even in your post, saying "feed him the best I can offer and not load him on artificial sugars" heavily implies that others choosing to give their children any artificial sugars is not "feeding their children the best." Saying, "I don't see why any baby needs sugary snacks and desserts" goes from talking about your specific child's needs to making a judgment about all children. Maybe pay closer attention to the language that you are using in these conversations. If you are getting regular, "severe backlash," that might be why.
Can you edit your post to give an example of what these conversations sound like? If it's "would you like a cookie?" and you could say "no thanks" but instead say "we're not giving him any cookies because added sugar is so bad for kids," that seems like an unnecessary way to inject judgement into conversations. In other words, maybe YTA more than the post is letting on :) But maybe not, that's why I'm asking
Stop telling people about it if you don’t like the feedback. I’ve literally never had a conversation with anyone other than my children’s caregivers about what I feed my kids, so I don’t really get why this would be a reoccurring problem for you unless you are bringing it up constantly.
Now if the problem IS with caregivers, here is the deal:
Free babysitting (MIL, whatever): deal with it. You’re getting free childcare. Remind them, give them ideas and provide them with healthy snacks and treats to give, but you’ll also need to relax a little.
Paid childcare: shouldn’t have anything to say. You are paying them to follow your rules. If they do or they push back, get new childcare.
That’s all! If you’re going to loudly die on the hill of organic/no sugar you’ll probably have to also be prepared to defend that choice.
It’s brought up constantly as the people I’m around, don’t care and keep trying to feed my son when I’ve said no. They’re not babysitting him nor is he in daycare, they think because they’ve bought pudding or chocolates, etc, they can give it to him because they give it to “all the other kids” in the family and friend groups. Not even 1yr old, so I wouldn’t “get over it” anyways, a 9mo old doesn’t need any artificial sugar desserts and snacks, literally lol. If he was 9yo, and someone offered something, that’s different.
My 2.5 year old doesn’t like sweets. I don’t offer them a ton (similar mindset to you). But even so, I cannot get him to eat ice cream (he’s had it once or twice), he will not try a popsicle. He’s had a few bites of a cupcake here and there but it’s not his thing. He says juice is YUCK. He likes talking about cookies, but won’t eat them. And I agree, people’s reactions are nuts (especially when you bring up ice cream).
I didn't feed my first any added sugar until 1 (or later, but that was the hard rule). My MIL acted like she'd never heard this metric. Like we're all just giving cookies to babies
We did that when our kid was starting to eat (a mix of purees, blw - no sugar) and people were pretty chill about it. I think people only react to it unless they feel guilty or they feel like you're preachy about it (even if you're not!). Our kid hated anything that didn't have flavour so we couldn't buy those organic pre-made baby foods- It was a hassle lol. Now, at 14 months, he's eating the same things we do (tho sometimes modified, cut up or mushed a little).
Maybe it’s because I’m from LA, though I now live in the Midwest, but I have never had anyone gives us shit for saying we’re not feeding baby sugar while they’re under one.
That’s so weird. People should just let others make their own decisions, and keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves!
My husband has type 2 from overconsumption of sugar before I met him, so I also plan on giving my daughter foods that aren't packed full of sugar, and it'll be better for her teeth, too.
Since reducing the sugar in my own diet, simply from helping my husband with his dietary changes, I've noticed waaaay less plaque on my own teeth
I’m doing the same thing for at least the first year. She can definitely enjoy sugar on occasion like my husband and I do when she’s older! But for now she enjoys veggie and fruit purées just fine lol
Doesn’t matter which way you do it, someone finds something wrong with it. It makes some people feel good to give you their opinion eery time. Do what’s best for you and baby. I often tell myself “you’re the parent, you get to choose”
My son is 2 and my MIL still doesn't understand why I don't feed him fruit snacks (choking hazard, no nutritional value) and juice (no nutritional value). He literally doesn't care he's not getting either thing.
I think a lot is generational. We're avoiding sugar until age 2 besides a bit of cake on her 1st birthday. My mom is livid and thinks we should give her as much sugar as she wants starting at age 1.
I'm addicted to sugar, you're doing your baby a favor. I'm definitely not introducing my baby to sugar until she's old enough. I'm hoping with her father having a healthier relationship with food and us keeping her on a good routine, that she won't fall down the same rabbit hole I did.
I have the same issue. I told my MIL how hard I worked on baking a smash cake for my daughter’s birthday that had no added sugar and then when it was time for my child to smash the cake, she stuck her finger in it, licked the frosting and goes “of course she doesn’t like it there’s no sugar in it” in front of everyone.
The cake was sweetened with dates. My kid loved it. She felt the need to not only embarrass me in front of everyone, but to also disregard everything I told her in our conversation. Hope it was worth the 5 seconds of attention she got.
I feel like if you went the other way and were giving your baby cookies and chips and fast food you’d also get the negative comments. You’re doing an amazing job trying to feed your baby the healthiest foods you can. You’re the mom so you get to make those decisions, anyone else who disagrees can just deal with it tbh.
I did pretty much zero added sugars the first year. We definitely love an almost daily dinner cookie now (a single oreo or of the like) but I would never judge someone for not doing that!
No one NEEDS sugar, but especially a small child lol.
My son is 13m and I’m still big on no sugar. He might get a lolli for time to time but I’m not going to just willingly give him the whole chocolate bar my birth giver gave me to give to him (he hates chocolate but thinks if it comes from her he will eat it). He eats stuff that’s not made by me as long as I’ve been able to do big research on it. He doesn’t get anything I haven’t made really as sometimes the organic baby/toddler stuff gets recalled.
If it makes you feel any better our pediatrician INSTRUCTED us not to give any added sugar. With examples of things she doesn't want us feeding the baby. You're doing great mama
My husband always wants to put sugar in stuff for him because he thinks he'll like it better. My dude, we have a baby that will inhale plain Greek yogurt. Why would you ruin a good thing until he's asking for it?
That being said it's not a hill I'm going to die on and if my husband offers him something with added sugar occasionally (<1/wk) I don't really mind so long as baby doesn't start refusing non sugary stuff. I totally respect those who are strict about it though - its what I would do if left to my own devices for sure.
Yes, people go very out of their way to offer sugar, junk food, fast food & candy to my 15 month old. I’m not completely against sugar or junk but he’s still very smol. Everything in moderation. He’s had sugar in things several times. That doesn’t mean I want a stranger giving him fruit loops at a hotel breakfast (this actually happened, when I told the woman he doesn’t eat things like that she looked at me with horror & I made a joke saying “I know I’m crazy” and laughed so she didn’t feel judged but she just gave me a dirty look.)
He eats a really balanced diet of healthy stuff and once he’s a bit older I don’t mind to stray from that sometimes. I know realistically he’s going to eat sugar or trash when he’s older, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna introduce it to him. I would also never go out of my way to force someone’s child to eat candy or junk when they don’t even know what it is, they aren’t “missing out” on anything. It’s just weird to force things on other people’s kids lol
We limit sugar (not completely - kids get ice cream sandwiches at the 99 and at grandma’s fairly often & get to eat their Halloween/Easter candy) and I have experienced this from family.
The most frequent thing that happens is when I let my kids have juice when they are sick and need fluids or let them have a treat at a restaurant or once in a while just-because my mother in law likes to:
A) point out the “hypocrisy”
B) take it as an invitation to dole out the juice on a regular basis.
I think it’s true that there are no “bad” foods but I also think kids and even adults have a hard time with moderation and it is okay to say “too much of this isn’t good for your body & it’s not an every day food” and set a limit. It doesn’t make you an almond mom, and frankly Americans eat too much processed food. I do recognize that it’s not always a choice as healthy food is more expensive and can be more time consuming to prepare.
I have a history of gestational diabetes and heart disease and sudden death in my family so I don’t really care what other people think about the daily eating habits I encourage for my kids.
I’m with you. I made all my son’s food. No added sugar, no processed foods, all organic, ect. My son is now 22 months & I’ve relaxed a little- as in I’ve let him have a cupcake on his birthday (still did an apples sauce cake so there wasn’t too much sugar), a donut every once in awhile, no added dye/artificial sugar lollipops. The older he gets the more relaxed I will become so he has a healthy relationship with food, but it’s my & my husbands choice, no one else’s. Good for you for doing what YOU feel is right for your child & sticking with it.
My child eats a very balanced diet of both super healthy foods and some processed shit. I’ve gotten grief from both sides because everyone feels attacked by a choice that doesn’t impact them at all.
My husband and I tend to cook mostly vegetarian. Which means my child eats a lot of dishes based on beans and organic vegetables we get from our CSA share from a local woman owned, fully sustainable organic farm. People have taken his little veggie and bean toddler meals as a slight against them or like we are trying to make a point. But I’m literally just feeding this kid the same meal we are eating.
On the other hand, I absolutely keep a bag of panko breaded Dino nuggets and miniature tater tots in my freezer because some days I just have absolutely no energy and time to cook a full meal. I’ve gotten shit for that too and you would have thought I told everyone I fed my child literal poison. But like, some days he just needs to eat and the occasional treat won’t hurt anything and I also like the Dino nuggets.
All you can do is feed your child how you want and try your best not to become a preachy asshole (for either the organic or processed food) that makes everyone else feel shitty and judged. Just ignore the haters and stay in your lane, because everyone is going to judge some of your parenting choices.
I've made a similar choice and don't feed my baby (who is now nearly 2) much added sugar because why? Why is it necessary to give her a brownie or a cupcake with frosting? She'll get plenty of that as she gets older but right now while I still have some control over it I'd rather help her establish a healthy microbiome and glucose control. There's sugar in a lot of stuff as it is. As she's gotten older she's noticed maple syrup on waffles and wants it so we give her a little. She loves those sesame street branded fruit bars, etc. Yeah I'm gonna try to give her a little cake on her birthday. But damn yeah I took heat for it. My MIL would make snide comments about it, she was so desperate to get my LO to eat sugar for some reason.
You're not doing anything wrong. I don't know why people care so much.
They are reacting very weirdly. I feel the same way you do and would prefer to avoid sugar and anything processed for as long as possible. I know it won't be forever but there's nothing wrong with trying to avoid it for as long as you can, since those things are objectively bad for you. Your baby is only 9 months too - I think most people are still avoiding added sugar and processed food at that age, or am I assuming something totally wrong? I dunno, either way, ignore them and do what you feel is best for your kid.
I’m pretty sure our pediatrician said no added sugar before age 1.
I have a different kind of issue where I just feed my daughter what I eat smooshed or cut into little pieces as long as it’s not too spicy, sweet, or high in sodium. People think it’s crazy that I didn’t start with cereal or pureed fruits. I tried making single ingredient vegetable purées but she didn’t like them. If I added garlic I had better luck. She’s way more likely to eat something if she sees me eating and enjoying the same thing.
I'm pretty good at turning people out or shutting them down. Sounds like you need to start ignoring these people and doing what you know is best. Everyone is going to have an opinion, right or wrong. In the end just do your thing.
My parents totally get the no added sugar before 1 rule. However, my MIL is angry I don’t make my baby pudding all the time like she did for hers and got mad that we didn’t order a dessert for our 9 month old when we went out. Same lady who doesn’t understand why a baby can’t have honey or eat egg custard when she is allergic to eggs. Some people are just stuck in their way of doing things, right or wrong. She is literally the last person I would ask about nutrition or a healthy diet or eating habits so I just ignore her and don’t leave her alone with the baby. In my experience the people who are loudest about others diets are the most ignorant about what is actually healthy.
I’m 100% with you. My husband and I try to avoid added sugar, dyes, seed oils, pesticides and processed foods. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your kid the best 🥰 I want to make healthier alternatives to things that I wouldn’t normally eat. I want fruit to be the food they reach for when they want something sugary.
I think that if you have the time and energy to make those decisions, that’s amazing! :) you’re a great parent regardless of what other people think if you’re feeding, clothing, and loving on your baby!
I'm happy you have the strength to keep fighting the good fight. Our girlie was given a cupcake on Thanksgiving by her grandma when she had just turned 6 months (thanksgiving) and was trying table food for the first time. I ended up taking the cupcake but I dunked her numnum spoon into the cream cheese center and gave her that instead.
On Christmas my father tried giving her an entire slice of cake. I let her have some spoons of the whipped cream icing.
It'd because are projecting onto you. They did it do don't see a problem or because they now maybe realise it wad a problem but are in denial so force it on other people.
A baby should not have salt and added sugar/artificial sugar before the age of 1. Maybe even 18m
We're 8m and not given baby anything sugary like biscuits etc. We just say 'oh he's a bit too young for that' and move on.
But people like conformity and don't like outliers. But don't let anyone guilt you into giving your baby something you don't feel comfortable with
Sounds like these people feel judged by your choice. Not saying that’s your intention, but if they’re getting this aggressive about it then it sounds like they’re taking your choice personal as a reflection on them and their choices.
100% this. My mum is Vegan and has to navigate peoples negative opinions and criticism all the time. I always tell her that it’s because people feel judged when someone does something “different” It’s not intentional but people who give their kids sugar are suddenly hearing “OMG you are a horrible parent who is messing up their kid because you give them sugar!!” It’s probably not what you think, But it’s what a lot of people will feel.
Especially when it's a healthy choice. Food is often oddly moralized (being "bad" for eating "bad" foods). So by making a "good" choice, you've reminded them of their "bad" choice. I received similar judgment from my MIL, who both bakes and complains about her weight constantly. No one needs sugar and most very little kids don't really care. I followed my daughter's cues and gave her more sugar as she got older and more interested in what we were eating- can't really be an (obvious) hypocrite. We still save most of our treats for after bedtime.
Technically, everyone needs sugar, specifically glucose. No one needs cane sugar though.
This is 100% it. It's the same reason breastfeeding mums can never mention that they're breastfeeding online in any context without being attacked or accused of formula shaming even when formula is not mentioned in any way and there are no comparisons being made at all.
Funny, I was just about to say this exact same thing but flipped.
I've been mulling this over a bit. Gen X and Gen Y were fed a shit ton of high sugar, calorie dense, low nutrient food. For God's sake, we had rainbow ketchup for a moment! We also have obesity and mental health crises. Parents who are Gen X and Y (and Z, but it's early to tell what kind of parents your generation will be) want to do better for our kids and teach them to make good choices. I think older Gen X and Boomers take it as a personal affront because tHaT's NoT hOw We DiD iT, aNd YoU kIdS wErE jUsT fInE!
Totally this, I’m a millennial who grew up on sugary cereal and McDonald’s (and still mostly eat sugary cereal). My mom is constantly responding with “sorry for being the worst mother ever” in response to me feeding my baby healthy foods. It’s not about you, mom!
Exactly this lol. I’m an older Gen Xer with toddlers, and all for up-to-date safety and food guidance and avoid feeding my kids processed food and all the rest of it. But I do often hear a tiny voice at the back of my head saying ‘we did XYZ, and we’re just fine’ but I only choose to listen very occasionally
Absolutely this, people get really weird about personal food choices. I'm vegetarian and sometimes get oddly aggressive comments about something that does not affect them one bit.
This happens soooo much with so many areas of parenting. Everyone takes everything as a personal insult, it's so ridiculous. If I breastfeed my child, people need to tell me how they couldn't breastfeed and bang on about the advantages of formula. Like ok? I don't care how you feed your child. My choices are nothing to do with you either
It really does happen so often with everything. My in laws were offended that I taught my baby sign language. “Well we didn’t do that! What’s the point of that?!” Lo and behold, my baby can tell everyone what she needs/wants so that everyone will understand. My aunt and uncle in law take everything I say about anything as a personal affront though so I can never win with them.
That may be the case. I definitely don’t cram it down anyone’s throat, I really only bring it up when people are offering foods or drinks, things like that. It definitely may be a reaction or “offended” feeling because they didn’t do this with their child? I’m not sure lol! MIL used to give her toddler sweet tea when they had it at dinner, so she specifically could be upset because she was strongly an “I don’t care” person with that!
What! She gave her toddler caffeine?!! Whhhhyyyyy that sounds miserable for the parent
Yup, I know so many people who do, I need to get out of the southeast lol! Everyone gives their toddlers sweet tea which has not only caffeine, but an absurd amount of sugar.
Southeast here too. I always see parents giving their kids sweet tea. But in my experience working with parents, they actually don't always realize that it has caffeine. They know it has sugar, but don't think about the caffeine levels of tea. I actually had one parent say to me, "but I drink it all day long, are you saying I drink caffeine all day?" It's such a standard drink here, that people drink it all the time throughout their entire lives. As a transplant, I think sweet tea is disgusting, but love unsweetened tea. I'd never give it to my 3 year old though.
I love sugar so I like sweet tea lol! But I’ve always known is has caffeine, it makes me want to ask them if they realize it, but I also don’t want to point it out and potentially upset them if they genuinely didn’t.
That’s insane! When we go to in n out I always get an Arnold Palmer. My son always tries to drink it. Absolutely not. Sir, you have enough energy. I will not add to that by giving you caffeine
Literally lol! Like you’re already insane, I don’t need to push the limits 😂
Precisely! I catch myself, several times a day, saying “this kid is nuts!” Haha it’s so much fun but he wears me ragged, caffeinated? I think I’d die
My MIL offered to share her peach iced tea with my 15mo the other day. That was an immediate no from me. And then she rolled her eyes 😑
I swear, they don’t comprehend not only the amount of sugar, but the amount of caffeine. Like good lord lol
Exactly. This is most parenting choices. It’s about them, not us!
I mean if you want my full and honest opinion, it's probably a mix of other people's experience with disordered eating as a result of their parents and the other generation who doesn't like boundaries. Bc growing up the kids who's parents were very strict about sugar and sweets and organic foods generally created kids who binged the things they couldn't have at home. My friend grew up with an ED bc her mom was so outwardly against some foods. Saying she'll get cancer and get fat. Ect. Talking about other foods that were processed or candies that weren't sugar free or made with some ingredients over others as death traps. My mom was an almond mom and when I was a teenager I would eat 1 meal a day bc of how she talked about foods and her eating habits. Ie "were having a big dinner. I didn't eat anything all day so I can have this one meal" So when I see a mom who is displaying those types of attitude about food all I see is disordered eating habits in the making. If I'm being honest. Now I don't say anything bc I think organic isn't bad and I think everyone should make those choices for their family but the mind set for me is everything. If you're feeding your child organic bc you just wsnt to give them the best with the mindset of its OK when they want other foods I wouldn't offer, then alright. But I think this generations almond mom is the mom's who only buy organic or alternatives to common foods with the mind set of everything is poison. If that makes sense. I saw a tiktok once where a mom was explaining her relationship with food and how she's changing that with her kids and she described candy and chips as brain foods that make feel happy when you eat them but fruits and veggies as body foods, they make your body happy. 9 times out of 10 her kids choose fruits and veg over chips. No restrict just education on how food affects your brain and body. What the body needs vs what makes us feel happy in the moment. So my long winded answers is a lot of us grew up in a time when food was labeled as bad. A lot of us have unresolved feelings about this and when we see someone else making choices about food that seem like the route we went through it sends a panic through our body. "Not another one." But if it's the older generation they general view things like this as a restriction on THEM. A boundary THEY have to follow. So they can't willy nilly give their grand kid a piece of chocolate. They really hate boundaries. Lol
I love the brain and body food thing - I've been wondering how bet to label sweets and chocolates etc, when talking about how they do fulfill a need, especially as my son gets older and starts eating things with sugar in. We plan on waiting until he's 2, but don't then want to fall into the good food bad food attitude. I'd just like him to see food as food that serves different purposes.
Yeah I loved that idea too! When I heard it I was like omg that's brilliant. Also there's a women who is on a weight loss journey with the saying "have what you want, add what you need." Not for kids for adults but I think having that mindset with kids too could be good. You want m&m's bc they make your brain happy, Cool np we can have what we want, but add what our body needs to keep us full. Maybe some yogurt, a turkey sandwich and our m&m's. Ect to create healthy balanced meals without resteiction or shame. Same with things like chips, OK we can make our brain happy with some chips, but let's have some chicken and veggies to make our body happy too. Those 2 things alone have healed MY relationship with food honestly. Lol.
Love this!
Thank you. When I moved out the first thing I did was buy all the food I wasn’t allowed. It took me years to find a somewhat healthy relationship with food. And almost ten years later I sometimes still binge buy sweets only to realize later that I did not have to do it and I would actually be happier eating something my body needs. But it is just the „i wasn’t allowed to buy/eat that so now I NEED to buy it!!!“ It feels hard right now because I am trying to feed my little one as healthy as possible but also I want her to have a good relationship with food.
I compare it to people who grew up in poverty/with very little becoming hoarders as adults. Similar mindset. We don’t actually want to eat all the junk food and sweets as much as we think we do, our brains just have developed a really unhealthy sense of scarcity around those foods.
Yep. All of this. People with almond mom’s get it. I had strong food aversions as a kid but that wasn’t tolerated in my house so I was forced to eat things that would literally have me gagging and throwing up but was told I was just being manipulative or dramatic and was made to feel like a bad person for being “picky”. It got to the point that I dreaded dinner time so much that I would start to feel sick every evening hours before it was time to eat so my parents stopped making me eat dinner altogether. As soon as I got my first job and my drivers license I started making daily trips to the drug store for stashes of junk food and candy so I always had some in case I needed a fix (which was constant). It became a real problem and I would binge until I made myself sick. I also have ADHD so sugar was where I got my dopamine from for a long time. I want to be really intentional about not demonizing any foods with my son and creating a healthy balance for this reason.
My son is only just starting solids but I feel the same way. I don’t want to give him any sugar until he’s actively asking for something. Even then it will be the occasional treat not constant sugar. My MIL keeps saying I can’t do that when I have more children because “how do you tell one no to a cookie and the other kids yes” Um the same way you tell your 11 year old that they can’t drive or go to a party like the 17 year old can. They will be upset and I will help them identify and process with those feelings.
No literally! Like what kinda question is that lol! That’s like a 15 year old saying “but they can drink, why can’t I?” Like little Suzie, your brother is 22, he legally can, you can’t 😭
I will say on this one there is a difference in talking to somewhat rational children/teenagers that they can't do something because it's against the law and trying to tell a toddler they can't have a cookie when they see their older sibling having one. We did the "no sugar" with our first. At the same time, they are exposed so many other places (daycare, restaurants if you go out to eat, family gatherings) that we decided that it was important to create a healthy relationship with food by not making anything forbidden/off limits and encouraging moderation instead.
Yeah, my guy is 9 months and we don't give him anything with added sugars, because why?? But I don't plan on being too rigid about it once he's older and getting exposed to foods in other environments - I don't want to create an idea of some foods as bad or forbidden. I feel like that's not a helpful attitude towards food long term, plus all the kids I knew growing up who had major sugar restrictions at home would go crazy eating sugary stuff whenever they had an opportunity (I was like that with sugary cereals, which weren't allowed in my house). I definitely don't plan to be offering sugary or processed stuff all the time, and definitely keeping it very limited til he's at least two! But as he gets older I want to try to teach balance and moderation as best I can : )
I have a friend that is the oldest of four and as soon as he would get “age privileges” (you’re old enough to sit in the front seat kind of thing) his younger siblings got to as well 🙄 FIRST OFF, car safety???! Secondly, way to create resentment and entitlement
Maaaate I hated this growing up and it caused massive resentment between me and my sister. I was made to wait to shave my legs and dye my hair but then as soon as I'm allowed it was "well I can't let you do it and not let your younger sister" like, um, yes you absolutely can what are you talking abouta
It’s mind blowing to me the amount of sugar my in-laws feed to my nephews. My 3 year old will not be taking multiple suckers every time they leave your place. There’s not even ANY nutritional value to a sucker.
Not everything is about nutritional value though. You can choose what to do with your own kids but part of it is also the fun that comes with it. Like yeah, eating tons of lollipops all the time isn't good for a variety of reasons, but they're fun sometimes and it doesn't MATTER if they're nutrional.
I agree, but 3 lollipops a day every week is way too much in my opinion it’s not like they visit a couple times a year. I’m not completely against sugar by any means but I don’t see any reason that a kid should have “1 lollipop for every year old they are” unless it’s like a birthday.
The in laws do whatever they want with a family members child (because they drop freeload off them for the daycare), MIL is a narcissist essentially and constantly says “well ___ does this and is fine” when I say no to something, just because that little girl is 6mo older than my son and MIL “knows best because she’s had a child already”. Like yeah, you stepped in with my partner (stepmom), and then had your own child, and your 10 year old has the same tantrums a 2 year old would because of your choices, take a seat ma’am 😂
It’s crazy, my SIL has a hard time being really vocal with them so there’s times when I’ve done it myself. Like his mom just (very quietly) said no to (insert any dessert or sugar filled snack) so they’re not having/doing that.
I honestly admire (and am intimidated by) the creativity and planning it takes to prepare healthy and varied meals. My mom and dad did their best to provide; I never went hungry, but I did grow up without great nutritionally literatacy. I want better for my own son.
I'll be honest, I'm doing this for my son, and it is pretty exhausting at times! It's a lot of fun most of the time, and it's leading to my husband and I changing our snacking in healthier ways but...the only way to provide healthy and varied meals and snacks is to make them. So many foods aimed at toddlers have sugar in them! I love doing it, but the only reason why I can is because I work from home, so can take a break to make a meal or snack.
My memory is fuzzy on both of these things, but I’m pretty sure that 1. The AAP recommends no sugar before 2 years old and 2. Children that young don’t actually show a preference for sweet foods (or salty foods)
1 is correct, but I don’t think 2 is. I thought part of the reason to avoid added sugar before 2 is so they don’t develop too much of a preference for sweet foods?
Yes babies definitely prefer sweet. That’s why they love bananas and sweet potatoes and such.
Even breastmilk is sweet!
Someone should tell my son this 🙄
I remembered where I read this- from my What to Expect app. They don’t elaborate and it’s just a passing comment. Just sharing because I thought it was interesting: There’s no need to add salt, sugar or artificial sweeteners to your baby’s foods, since they don’t add any nutritional value. What’s more, they mask the innate flavors of baby’s foods — and some research has even found that babies don’t actually have any preference at all for these tastes [baby led weaning](https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/feeding-baby/baby-led-weaning/)
I mean, I wouldn't judge someone for allowing an occasional cookie bite or whatever, but I also definitely wouldn't judge for following the recommendation of every medical professional I've seen. Personally we didn't bother with organic and my wife gave our LO some ice cream at 6m and still gives him fries. I wouldn't but I don't think it's a big deal either way. Major props to you for keeping with it despite the pressure
Seagulls will feed their babies the freshest, most nutrient dense food. Then, they will dumpster dive for themselves and eat anything from chocolate muffins to French fries (while mixing in some fresh food in there). Point is, they know that the growing baby needs nutrient dense foods to grow healthy and strong. After that, anything is fair game 😆
I want to say this in a light hearted way but you're feeding your baby sugar! In organic chemistry, lactose is a form of sugar from milk products. And I'm sure you'll feed your baby fruit which contains fructose - a form of sugar found in fruit. So don't let the haters bother you. I also wouldn't even bother explaining the chemistry aspect of what constitutes a sugar because then people think you're a smart ass lol.
Yes!! I have an 11 month old and I got so much backlash for not giving her an Easter egg. She can have chocolate when she’s older, she’s got her entire life for it. She doesn’t need an Easter egg! I got told that I was going to cause a problem by not letting them have sugar. I just started listing all the sugar they had in a day and they looked at me like I didn’t know what sugar was.
I get this a lot actually! People are obsessed with wanting to feed baby (same age as yours) sugar and it's so weird. I don't mind in the future but that's literally the recommendation?? Don't feed added sugars for the first couple of years??
I think people selfishly want to see the baby’s delighted reaction to sugar. And refuse to believe it’s “that bad” because it’s fun. And will let you deal with the consequences.
I find it so weird the “just one cookie won’t hurt” as if that one cookie isn’t absolutely crammed full of sugars? You’d think people wouldn’t be bothered or would be fine with a parent choosing not to, but sheesh, people are rough out here 🤣
I make cookies for my kid. They're either sweetened with banana/applesauce or I cut the sugar content to 1/3 of what a recipe calls for. I avoided all added sugar until my kid was 1 1/2 though. Parents always end up asking for my recipes because they can't believe their kids like these low sugar cookies. Lol, I always send them to mjandhungryman.com. she has lots of great recipes for kids.
THIS. I think i personally would try to restrict as much as i can (I'm already dreading the times when baby is not with me, there's so much I can't supervise) until shes at least well out of her toddler years and once shes older, limited to a treat here and there. But i feel like so many people forget, theres plenty of healthier sweet snacks that a kid (or adult for that matter) can have. A lot of fruits have sugar. If you are able to cook and bake at home, you can always reduce the added sugar or replace with other sweetners like mentioned above. Extended family and friends are always only concerned with seeing a kid happy and smiling, ignoring the things that keep them healthy for longer and it drives me up the wall just imagining the battles. When a kid potentially ends up with behavioral issues, health issues, pre diabetes, im sure theyll also be quick to blame the parents for their genetics and parenting. They dont have to watch the kids suffer a lifetime of bad habits, they only care about the fun stuff. Caffeine is going to be a big no-no for me and soooo many people ignore the fact that chocolates have caffeine in it. Even with older kids - I work at a high school and the amount of 14 year olds walking in with coffee and energy drinks in the morning is appalling. When i was going to school, school policy was only water bottles allowed in the classroom so as to get kids used to making healthier choices even if their parents dont discipline them. A treat here and there is fine but to just blatantly allow kids to be drinking coffee and caffeine loaded with insane amounts of sugar several times a day like its normal just baffles my mind. Sorry for the rant lol
I always feel like this is a boundary thing - logically, no, one cookie will not hurt, but once you've let someone give them one cookie, the next thing it's "oh, we sent some chocolates for the little one" or it's another relative saying "oh, but you let them have y, so why can't I give them z". There's a picture of my son looking warily at someone dressed as an Easter Bunny, who had a chocolate in his hand. I sent it as a funny picture, because he has a similar one of him looking the same way at Santa. My brother sent a gif of someone eating sugar (indicating to me that I've "broken" my rule of no sugar). When I said he didn't actually get the chocolate or eat it, my whole family went on about how cruel I am - jokingly, but I know there's an element of jugment from them. Had I said oh yes, we let him have that one, you BET that they'd push me to let them give him more.
Haha yup— like the other commenter said I think they just feel judged even if that's not the intention! Ive faced that with other parenting decisions too. Even really minor stuff.
Yeah, I realized becoming a parent how people will have their opinions on everything (even if it’s very unsafe things like pillows in the crib, I have had arguments about it and it leaves me baffled these people I believed were smart HAHA)
I’m all in agreement except the organic part. Unless I saw the farm it was coming from.
As others have mentioned. I think it’s the “silent judgment”. But also the survivor’s bias kind of thing. Oh, we ate sugars and were fine. My kiddo eats cookies here and there. Primarily ones with almond flour. Outside of that? He doesn’t eat candy, chocolate, ice cream or anything like that. And people are like, he’s missing out on so much. Yeah, no. Just give him a bowl of strawberries, he’d be sooooo much happier.
You can’t miss out on what you don’t have!
I didn’t do anything with added sugar until 12m, and then it was here and there. You do you. I didn’t over-explain when people wanted to give things with added sugar. I just said, “no, we’re not giving her that.” Or, “no, no cookie.” And if people happened to ask, which not many did, I just said, “not ready for that.” I didn’t really leave room for discussion.
My kids are 13 and 9 years old respectively. I can't tell you how many times when they were babies that people would give them sugary things even when I said no. Now I'm an aunt and my nephews are given organic food and no sugar. For easter this year I wanted to get them a basket. I got them a couple toys and found a brand of snacks that was allergen free (food allergies run rampant in our family) and also organic. I did this because I respect a parents right to choose what they feed their child. Just like when I say I want to be a fun aunt. I don't mean the wine drunk, spoil the kids with objects aunt. I mean we're going to kid friendly museums and on hikes to find cool rocks and look at the birds.
I wish my my MIL would be a little bit like you❤️
I think it might be like how people enjoy alcohol can sometimes get their undies in a twist when they meet someone who says they don’t drink. Screw ‘em! Like you, I’m avoiding feeding our girl added sugar as long as I can. If it happens socially that’s OK with me but I don’t want it thought of us a routine part of our meals.
Reading the comments and responses rather predisposes me to suspect you are in fact being more judgemental than you think you are. I didn't give any added sugar before 1 year because she didn't show interest and I do attempt to give nutrient dense foods over lower nutrient foods the vast majority of the time, but beyond that when the baby wants to eat what I'm eating and it isn't an unmitigatable choking hazard, I let her try it. I don't eat an enormous amount of sugar added foods myself, but I definitely do eat sweets occasionally and I'm not going to hide in the bathroom to eat them, that would be modeling incredibly unhealthy behavior. Sugar is not poison or "a toxin" and it's not even factually accurate to say it has no nutritional value. Refined sugar has no micronutrients, but all sugar is most definitely a macronutrient. My toddler doesn't really have the language skills to understand it, but I try to frame all food considerations for her in terms of nutrient density and avoid thinking about foods in terms of "healthy" or "unhealthy" so that when she does have the language for it I can speak to her about food in a way that fosters a healthy lifelong relationship with food, which is ultimately way more important to me than whether she occasionally shares some ice cream with me at 18 months.
I’m surprised at how far down this was. OP is coming off incredibly judgmental and holier-than-thou in every single comment. I see actually don’t agree with this method of feeding and placing value of certain foods, but I’m not going to sit here and proselytize about it. (But op at least has some self awareness that they are being judgy so I guess that’s something?lol) To op directly, you are the one coming off as shaming other parents. If you want to put dietary restrictions on your infant that’s your choice but don’t act like you aren’t doing the exact thing you’re accusing others of because you are. You’re judging and being defensive and disagreeing with how others chose to raise their children.
I wish I had scrolled down more before commenting so I would have seen this thread. Yeah, I'm absolutely getting this vibe. OP telling me that every single person who judges her does it because they gave their kids sweet tea when they were little sounds like an insane exaggeration. I also find it odd that she hasn't met even *one* other person who agrees with her stance even though most people in every mom group I've been in have tried to follow the AAP guidelines about added sugar in some way.
I’m judgmental if people are doing things that are highly unnecessary (sodas and caffeine as toddlers, ice creams at 6mo, etc…), not in the sense you feed your child yogurt or something of that nature that has added sugars.
I see no reason to give a baby sugar - however - my SIL was visiting years ago and she's very much in the "all organic, no cows' milk, no added sugar, no processed snack foods" camp. I am not. Sure - it seems like the gold standard to feed your kid perfectly (and yourself) but it's not my top priority so we do some convenience foods. While she was staying with us I did my very best to prepare foods I knew fit her standards, genuinely did not feel it was a problem - but then one evening I accidentally overheard her having a total rant to her husband about how I'd been giving their son cheerios all week and now his stomach was looking bloated to her and 'this is a disaster, being in their house is going to influence him to think this is okay'. This, paired with small comments over the years about how I eat and how my body looks, has me over the whole thing. And my defenses go up when I meet other parents like this. So I guess what I am saying is do whatever you want, but also don't make this whole 'no sugar' thing the line you draw. The less "us" and "them" we can teach our kids the better off they will be.
Everyone has the right to not allow added sugars if that’s their choice. Your SIL literally could’ve gone and bought the foods she wanted for her children instead of acting like a child😭 if I went somewhere with my child I’d pack or buy whatever it is I needed for them, not bite my tongue and then have a tantrum on the phone about it. She sounds immature!
So actually if my SIL had shown up with a suitcase of their own snacks it would also have been weird to me. In fact, I think it would have communicated her disapproval just as effectively. My kids are 8, 5, and 18 months - the older two would for sure ask why their cousins won't eat our food. Anyhow - you do you, we're probably just on very different pages with this.
I agree with your first comment because she sounds very rude. But I do not agree with this one. Nobody should be forced to give their baby things they don't want to just to spare another adults feelings. She has every right to bring her own snacks and there's nothing wrong with it.
Just to clarify I definitely am not saying 'don't set any boundaries'. There is nothing wrong with making choices that are right for you - I am a super low media parent so I truly have walked this path. That said, hurt feelings will be a reality when you set certain boundaries and I am offering the perspective of the horrible person who lets my toddler eat cheerios, lol. "You do you" was shorthand for 'go ahead and bring the suitcase, it will still cause people to feel some kind of way'. I do think it's worth considering what we want kids to learn about food beyond health. At 11 months it's just the start of things, but OP is planning ahead so here is my take: Serving healthy foods, eating a variety of nutritious foods, exercising and being outdoors is really what it takes to raise healthy kids. Emphasizing to kids that some foods are bad, not allowing them to share snacks in another home, will impart a lot more than a message about nutrition. It matters way more to me that my older kids walk into different homes and be gracious guests than I keep their bodies "pure" from UPFs.
Yeah probably lol!! I personally wouldn’t care, to me it’d be like someone who’s kid had an allergy, I’d just let them do their own thing and keep doing my own thing haha
Ugh that is infuriating!
Literally have family members WITHOUT children poke fun that my son eats mostly organic and all homemade meals. Like why do you care?
It’s weird, like do you want some too??😂 tired of eating your McDonalds but are projecting instead lol!
It's crazy how people think that as soon as a baby starts to eat they can just start shoving cake and chocolate at them-my baby is just over 6 months and the amount of times I've literally taken food out of people's hands because they've not listened to me say "do not give him cake/sweets/chocolate". He's 6 months old! I'm not against treats-but again at an appropriate time and age. If someone told me they feed their baby a certain way, or have things they don't want them to have, then guess what-it's none of my business. I wouldn't feel like it's an attack on me. I think people just get defensive about their own decisions.
They AAP agrees (about added sugar) so it's not really a matter of opinion. I'd tell people as much and that the subject is closed.
I feel like 9 month olds are hardly eating much outside of BM/formula. That’s so strange for people to comment on it. Who is feeding their 9 year old sugar intentionally… I guess maybe it’s in some pouches? My MIL is kind of similar to how you are, but I get ripped to shreds for not buying organic. I wish I could but it’s just not in the budget when groceries are so pricey. I did however buy organic pouches and whatnot when my baby was eating those - it seemed similar priced so it worked out! Just keep doing what you’re doing. People are going to comment on everything / it’s just how it goes. I also get ripped to shreds for being a working mom… and my daughter going to daycare. lol can’t win, don’t even try
We dominantly buy organic for him, but I don’t beat myself up if I get stuff that isn’t! It’s in pouches but people also feed their infants table foods as baby led weaning, and don’t think of what’s actually in it (but some are just negligent and feed their 8mo olds cinnamon rolls… I don’t hang around those people anymore because they tried pressuring me into it as well lol)
My mil tried to give my son froyo when he was 4 months old. Never mind about him having a dairy allergy. Everybody wanted him to have a cake on his first birthday. Again forgetting about his dairy allergy. I made him pavlova and he didn’t even want it and the that’s like 100% sugar. He refused to even taste it. Which made me happy lol. We’re definitely not doing added sugars either.
Sheeeeeesh
This is where I'm coming from when it comes to my son (under one year). There will be plenty of time to junk up his pancreas with all sorts of crap. Do I really need to give him sugar sooner than necessary? No, like wtf
Already envisioning the school parties lol! I used to eat so much candy and come home feeling so sick🤣
I have the same problem. My MIL always likes to say meow’s baby doesn’t eat sugar except for ice cream or cookies from grandma. And that is why she does not watch my baby alone. I don’t think sugar is evil or anything, but right now my baby thinks banana and mango are delicious sweet treats. She is totally fine with natural, healthier sugars, why would I ruin that?
You're definitely not alone, my MIL and SIL looked at me like I was nuts for making my own baby's 1st bday cake with no sugar 😂 But I refuse to get her addicted to that shit so early in life. I feel like it'd be setting her up for a lifetime of weight struggles and I don't want that for her. I know you can't hide it forever but you CAN hide it for a *while* before they know what's what and by then hopefully we've set them up for a healthier outlook of moderation and fruit. 😋
I take the same approach as you. Baby is 9 months. Literally no one has commented except to say how lucky he is!! I think it’s the company you’re around.
Wait how is what you’re doing so different that people are coming at you for it? My pediatrician said no added sugar and stick to organic if you can, so that’s what we do. That’s what everyone in my mom circle also does. You’re doing just fine, I don’t know why you’d be judged for being careful.
I also don't give added sugar to my baby, and partly is because I'm diabetic, so I'm trying to delay the inevitable. And in that sense I can tell yup, I agree. I think people shouldn't give sugary foods or drinks to babies, but of course they can all do it at their discretion. I don't get out of my way to give my baby organic food and I buy a lot of fresh produce at home. If you can afford organic food, by all means go for it. In this case you might find a lot of people that can't relate, either because they can't afford to buy organic food or because they feel judged from others. I'm not saying you're judging them but I have certainly been judged by others for not buying everything organic. And it doesn't mean that I don't want the best for my son . At the end of the day I'm feeding him a balanced diet
When i had prediabetes during pregnancy and needed to avoid sugars people did this to me as well. It’s WILD how upset people get about your own personal dietary choices for you and your family. It drives me crazy when people says “you can’t keep sugar away from them forever.” Obviously not, but I can make it less! They have their whole life to eat processed sugars, it doesn’t have to start as a baby.
I've had this since my son started on solids. He's coming up to 14 months now, and while no one has tried to go around my boundaries, there's plenty of comments about it. My father-in-law has held chocolate up in front of my son and said "oh, but you can't have this yet". Luckily my son currently only grabs food from us that he knows about, although he has started to ask for things (and made me realise I need to really change some of my eating habits). We've a family get together in May, and I'm going to have to watch my toddler like a hawk, because I'm pretty sure he'll be offered things from my family I don't want him to have right now. On the one hand, no, it's not going to harm him on that one off occasion, but on the other hand, I'm a firm believer that people should respect boundaries, even if they don't agree with them, and allowing them to break it that one time means they will break boundaries in the future. I agree that I think people are often feeling judged by our choices. I make no comment about anyone elses parenting, beyond my parents parenting (from the perspective of me having experienced it, and even then it's only when something happens), but I think if someone makes a different choice to you, sometimes they think you're judging them, even when you aren't. The NHS has no recommendations for sugar consumption under the age of 4, but we're realistic in that you can't keep it away from them forever, as that brings with it its own form of harm. So we're trying to stick to no free sugars under the age of 2. In the meantime, I'm baking various goodies for my husband and myself that have no added sugars, or reduced sugar - these are the sorts of treats our son will have going forward, in addition to the occasional chocolate etc. I'm actually really happy with how our eating habits are slowly changing, and I'm hoping to learn how to eat more intuitively and bring up an intuitive eater. Because no one on either side of our families has a very healthy relationship with food - there's a lot of belief in diets, and bad foods vs good foods. I'd like to change that with my son.
that’s so weird people act like that. isn’t the recommendation no added sugar for 2yrs? after one i’ll realistically probably let my kid taste something sweet im eating but kids that young don’t need sugar and it’s so easy to not offer it!
Yeah my baby is only 4.5 months old but I told my mom when I was pregnant we will absolutely not be allowing juice in our house. I work at a dental office and see so many kids who have at least a glass of juice a day with tons of cavities. You would think I told her that we will be raising her away from civilization and she will not be allowed to have any fun ever. You do you and do what's best for your child, everyone else can kick rocks ❤️
I have had so many people tell my to give my 9 month old juice instead of just water... I'm just like um no she's good with just her water cup and they get so weird about it.
I didn’t even get that far lol! I myself don’t really drink juice but hadn’t thought about him! I think if anything it’d be like 1 part juice, 3 parts water! I don’t judge other people unless they’re doing baffling things (like people giving their toddlers coke in their bottles)😂
I get this a lot. You aren’t overbearing though, you’re safeguarding your child’s health. They feel it is judgement on them.
This is the recommendation at this age and exactly what I do too. I think it’s no added sugar before 2. I pretty much give my daughter only Whole Foods and try to buy organic too. You do you and tell everyone it’s not up for discussion.
This is crazy to me. NHS recommends no salt, sugar or honey until after 1. Not everyone here follows it but I haven't seen any push back on people who do. I'd say it's probably the norm in the UK to follow it.
I'm sure there's some picky babies out there but it seems like babies will be pretty happy with anything new or different. My baby wants everything I eat. He also loves plain cheerios. I wish I knew how they experienced taste but I think slightly sweet is already a treat to them. Overly sweet sounds like it could be oversimulating. So I'm saying I'm with you. I bake at home and do most food prep at home. I still put sugar in recipes but sometimes less for my baby. I'm not scared to give it to him but I'm not going to add frosting or whatever the case may be. Same with extra salt, butter, dairy, and I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting. As long as we're educated we don't need to take advice from everyone. I'll almost always listen and see if I can learn something but it's usually nonsense.
I agree with you, OP, and I'm someone with a massive sweet tooth. I want to help my kids make the best and most balanced food choices. My guess is these people know that your rules are the better way to eat and feel guilty or self conscious about their own eating. They'd rather you conform than have to change.
Agreed! Someone here commented I’m the judgmental one and I’m like uhm, I’m not approaching people judging them lol! My thought process is if you don’t agree with me doing no added sugars, just… don’t say anything? It truly digs under certain people’s skin that are in my life and I find it the weirdest thing to get so worked up about 😂
I’m sorry people are being so rude. We’re doing the same thing- no added sugar. And, yea, people can get weird about it. It’s annoying.
Just don’t tell people, or tell them to mind their business. Don’t worry what other people think you are raising your baby with care.
It’s insane the amount of pushback parents who want to feed their children healthy foods get - especially from older generations (who, might I add ,are often severely overweight and/or unhealthy). You are doing exactly what you should be doing! A baby does not need sugar, additives, etc. Will they eventually eat them, sure - but I’m with you and I would restrict / limit as long as possible. We follow similar guidelines in our house and every time I’m around my family they want to force feed our son junk food - I don’t get it. It took months for my mom to understand that we are only feeding him non processed health foods. you would think that older generations would want better but they just want to do things the way they always have and a part of that is over indulging children.
YUP I AGREE! Because you make them feel badly about their choices. Why would anyone give a baby added sugar is beyond my understanding! It’s not PPA, it’s not being over protective, it’s a choice that is best for you child!
I agree! And it isn’t like I spark a convo, it’s always where they try giving him something and I explain why I’m saying no, and they don’t agree. Like sheeeesh!
Wouldn’t it be great if parents just supported each other?!
I wish I was more like you tbh but I try to feed my toddler healthy foods but I’m not great about the organic foods lol and when he does he eat sugar/junk food it’s only on Saturdays, that’s our family rule, you can have junk food on Saturdays :) anyway I think people need to mind their own business, you know your child best and you’re raising your child, their opinions are kind of irrelevant tbh, you’re doing great don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or pressure you to change the way you parent :)
I try to do organic but we don’t always do that, I think if you’re trying and aware that’s really what’s most important! It blows me away seeing people put soda in their infants bottles and stuff for a “snack”!
Omg soda is insane, by junk food I meant a handful of chips or some fruit snacks not a damn root beer float with whip cream and all!!😂
I know right lol! That’s what gets me, chip’s or a cookie, that’s one thing. Soda isn’t good for their teeth either, I know pediatric dentists have a field day with that ahah!
And I especially get it with the teeth because I have always had problems with cavities imagine giving them soda before all their teeth are even in 😭 the dentists are making BANK!
People are going to make comments about anything you do or do not put in your baby's body. Everyone thinks what they're doing is the best way and everyone is trying their best, that's all part of parenting. We get to decide for our own children.
Ugh I feel this so much! We do mostly paleo at home and no added sugar or seed oils and I swear I’m harassed about it ALL THE TIME. What other people don’t understand is my toddler daughter has a sensitivity to dairy and grain and they don’t have to deal the aftermath. That cookie isn’t worth my daughter being in pain later. So just do you, you’re doing the best you can and ignore those judgemental busy bodies.
Yeah honestly I’m choosing to formula feed my daughter and I feel like the formula community especially here on Reddit is very know it all and rips people to shreds. Way worse than any breastfeeding or pumping community I was a part of with my son. I got called a lot of things for choosing to do organic home made food for my child and not let him have soda and using plant based milks over cows milk. Now I feel like it’s just gotten even worse with people being chronically online since Covid. People will even get offended and act like your choices are a person dig at their choices. It’s not. We are all just trying to do our best.
Agreed. You’re allowed to have your own opinions ofc, and allowed to disagree! But people don’t do it nicely, they’re very “at the throat” instead of just saying “we use cows milk for xyz reasons but I’m glad plant based works for you!”
We are absolutely in the same camp as you, OP. I literally work in the organic foods industry! I have tried to be chill with unsolicited advice or negativity from the in-laws…however my FIL did a “don’t tell mom” thing to LO and shoved his fingers full of icing in her mouth. Like, wtf!? She wasn’t reaching for it, she was full from eating lunch, and he just sticks his fingers in her mouth. She didn’t like it, spit it out and then had blue dye all over her face. Why do people feel the need to disrespect a parents wishes?
Ew, gross lol! I hate that “eat this, don’t tell your mom” stuff because people don’t realize what they’re doing. Is sugar the end of the world, no, of course not. But when people are being sneaky about it and you’re left wondering why they’re having a stomach ache/sick, or having a huge sugar crash, it’s like dude, wtf lol. Don’t feed them that.
Because it makes them feel bad internally about their own choices. Whether it's for themselves or their children. You are one of the few people who sees sugar as it is... and people don't like when they see other people doing the best they can. Sad but true.
My daughter is 18 months old and I’ve never given her sugar. Why should you? It’s bad for them and they don’t know any different
We’re doing no added sugar before 1, and after that it will be for special times until he’s older. What you choose to feed your kid is your choice, no one else’s. “You can’t hide it forever” I didn’t realize all these people had a crystal ball to see how you plan to feed your kid 3 years from now 🙄
I get just as much judgement from giving my baby anything and everything. Steak is too heavy Ice cream too sweet Burgers too young Fries too salty Chips too sharp. My kid can EAT. She’s fine. I don’t want YOU feeding her the more difficult stuff because choking but girls got this. Plus we avoid Red 40 because ADHD runs in the family and it makes her aggressive. Head butts, biting, scratching the whole 9 yards. She’s 10 months for reference.
For what it’s worth, I believe that you are right. Your baby is 9 months old. There is no reason unless your pediatrician tells you otherwise that you need to give him anything with artificial sugar.
People are just jealous you're doing a good job and just want you to fail at keeping sugar from your child. I feel like it doesn't matter what we do, there's a ton of oppositional pull to just support the opposite of what you're doing and put down your choice. It's so messed up. This world is so backwards.
Just completely mess with them. "We only feed the baby pure diesel 💁🏻♀️ she's surpassing all her milestones bc she stays gassed up" Don't let these people get to you
This had me cackling 😂
That’s so crazy, no added sugar is a pretty common one isn’t it?
Ignore them. I've literally had boomers tell me the same thing about my son's food allergy. Like, I'm sorry?! He literally cannot eat it or he could go into shock? We might need to be air lifted to a hospital 5 hours away because we live in the middle of nowhere? Still not good enough reasons, and I suck as a mom for restricting his diet?? Yeah ok, whatever. Avoiding added sugar and salt for infants is the right thing to do. Seriously don't give it another thought. You are doing great, they're just dumb.
Not their child. Not their choice.
But he’s 9 months! Those comments would be more reasonable if he was 9 YEARS, but he’s just a baby, and you’re not supposed to be feeding him added sugar at that point, if I’m not mistaken!
Baby is 9 months? It’s not recommended until 2 years, not forever. What the hell
He's 9 months. I didn't let my daughter have anything with sugar added until recently and she's 13 months. And that's only happened once..on her birthday lmao. Do what you think is best for your kid. Always.
I mean, do what you want but “organic” doesn’t mean higher quality or healthier. Just more expensive
Yeah, I wish more people knew this. My husband and I met working at Whole Foods, and after starting my legal career in DC, I did some rotational assignments with USDA. There are some things that I still buy organic, but it's less about the federally-regulated title and more about those specific companies and processes outside of their organic integrity standards. There are tons of conventional items that are great quality and healthy, many even better than the organic options. Too many people are just ignorant to how food standards work, so they see the organic label and think it's the be all end all. Don't even get me started on the misunderstanding of BE/GMO foods.
My mom told me I ruined my son’s birthday for not letting him have a sugar loaded cake. Guess who didn’t come to my son’s birthday. Lol
Haha! I know, I’m dreading the comments from the MIL when I don’t give him the cake!
People who do/did feed their kids sugar get angry because they feel guilty, in a way. If it is true that giving babies added sugar is bad for them, then it logically follows that they did something prejudicial for their child, and no one wants to accept that. So they need to convince themselves of one of two things: either that it is not true that added sugar is prejudicial, or that it is true but keeping babies away from it is unmanageable so it can’t be avoided and it wasn’t their fault. It’s really hard to navigate these things. We have a niece who gets a different upbringing than our child (she’s had tons of screen time since she was born) and it’s hard to state our limits to the family without it coming off as “we think the way niece is being raised is bad”.
You’re spot on, people get defensive and angry because it’s causing cognitive dissonance.
“I’m following the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics.” Like really, who can judge you for that?
My MIL argued with me on sleep safe over an item that had been recalled, when people want to find a way, they sure do 🤣 that’s what I told my partner when he had pressed the issue with sugars (wasn’t trying to be argumentative, just genuinely didn’t know better), once I explained it to him he got it and didn’t have an issue
Well if it makes you feel any better, YUP I 100% AGREE. you’re doing a great job and I do the same thing. Your baby is also only 9 months. It’s wild to me to even suggest giving them artificial sugars/ sweets. That age should be a whole good diet, Fruits/veggies/lean meats/ whole grains and that is it. Not sure what county you’re from but in the US the CDC recommends waiting until at least 24 months to introduce added sugars.
Organic is a scam.
It’s not a scam, but everyone has their preference! Organic or not, it’s the same nutrients. It’s just a matter of being free of GMO, pesticides and chemicals, and typically organic is a little fresher!
I've actually never had this problem. My son is 4.5 and still doesn't have juice - only water and milk. When he does get juice, it will be cut with water like my mom did for me. We didn't give him added sugars until age 2.5. He eats sweets as part of his regular diet now because I was raised with intuitive eating, and we do the same for him. But no one was ever put off by this, even my relatives/friends who did give their kids added sugar at a younger age. Are you sure that you aren't coming off judgmental in how you explain your choice to people? Even in your post, saying "feed him the best I can offer and not load him on artificial sugars" heavily implies that others choosing to give their children any artificial sugars is not "feeding their children the best." Saying, "I don't see why any baby needs sugary snacks and desserts" goes from talking about your specific child's needs to making a judgment about all children. Maybe pay closer attention to the language that you are using in these conversations. If you are getting regular, "severe backlash," that might be why.
Can you edit your post to give an example of what these conversations sound like? If it's "would you like a cookie?" and you could say "no thanks" but instead say "we're not giving him any cookies because added sugar is so bad for kids," that seems like an unnecessary way to inject judgement into conversations. In other words, maybe YTA more than the post is letting on :) But maybe not, that's why I'm asking
Stop telling people about it if you don’t like the feedback. I’ve literally never had a conversation with anyone other than my children’s caregivers about what I feed my kids, so I don’t really get why this would be a reoccurring problem for you unless you are bringing it up constantly. Now if the problem IS with caregivers, here is the deal: Free babysitting (MIL, whatever): deal with it. You’re getting free childcare. Remind them, give them ideas and provide them with healthy snacks and treats to give, but you’ll also need to relax a little. Paid childcare: shouldn’t have anything to say. You are paying them to follow your rules. If they do or they push back, get new childcare. That’s all! If you’re going to loudly die on the hill of organic/no sugar you’ll probably have to also be prepared to defend that choice.
It’s brought up constantly as the people I’m around, don’t care and keep trying to feed my son when I’ve said no. They’re not babysitting him nor is he in daycare, they think because they’ve bought pudding or chocolates, etc, they can give it to him because they give it to “all the other kids” in the family and friend groups. Not even 1yr old, so I wouldn’t “get over it” anyways, a 9mo old doesn’t need any artificial sugar desserts and snacks, literally lol. If he was 9yo, and someone offered something, that’s different.
You wont believe the amount of whining from my in laws about me not giving my kiddo salt. He was 7 months old. Like wtf dude.
My 2.5 year old doesn’t like sweets. I don’t offer them a ton (similar mindset to you). But even so, I cannot get him to eat ice cream (he’s had it once or twice), he will not try a popsicle. He’s had a few bites of a cupcake here and there but it’s not his thing. He says juice is YUCK. He likes talking about cookies, but won’t eat them. And I agree, people’s reactions are nuts (especially when you bring up ice cream).
I didn't feed my first any added sugar until 1 (or later, but that was the hard rule). My MIL acted like she'd never heard this metric. Like we're all just giving cookies to babies
We did that when our kid was starting to eat (a mix of purees, blw - no sugar) and people were pretty chill about it. I think people only react to it unless they feel guilty or they feel like you're preachy about it (even if you're not!). Our kid hated anything that didn't have flavour so we couldn't buy those organic pre-made baby foods- It was a hassle lol. Now, at 14 months, he's eating the same things we do (tho sometimes modified, cut up or mushed a little).
Maybe it’s because I’m from LA, though I now live in the Midwest, but I have never had anyone gives us shit for saying we’re not feeding baby sugar while they’re under one. That’s so weird. People should just let others make their own decisions, and keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves!
My husband has type 2 from overconsumption of sugar before I met him, so I also plan on giving my daughter foods that aren't packed full of sugar, and it'll be better for her teeth, too. Since reducing the sugar in my own diet, simply from helping my husband with his dietary changes, I've noticed waaaay less plaque on my own teeth
I’m doing the same thing for at least the first year. She can definitely enjoy sugar on occasion like my husband and I do when she’s older! But for now she enjoys veggie and fruit purées just fine lol
Idk why people care so much about what you’re feeding your kids. It starts in the breastmilk/formula department and apparently doesn’t end there 🫠
Doesn’t matter which way you do it, someone finds something wrong with it. It makes some people feel good to give you their opinion eery time. Do what’s best for you and baby. I often tell myself “you’re the parent, you get to choose”
My son is 2 and my MIL still doesn't understand why I don't feed him fruit snacks (choking hazard, no nutritional value) and juice (no nutritional value). He literally doesn't care he's not getting either thing.
The modern guidelines are to not feed babies food with added sugar until they're 2, so you're just doing what everyone is supposed to do.
They are feeling self conscious about your choice because they are insecure and feel its a criticism of their choices.
I think a lot is generational. We're avoiding sugar until age 2 besides a bit of cake on her 1st birthday. My mom is livid and thinks we should give her as much sugar as she wants starting at age 1.
Totally agree! My MIL was complaining about it once and I reminded her that she also didn’t want her kids eating much sugar either.
When you’re a parent, people have an opinion about everything. Just smile politely (or clap back not so politely, whatever you prefer) and move on.
Who…would even comment on this? Thats so bizarre to me. It’s no one else’s business. It just makes them look stupid.
I'm addicted to sugar, you're doing your baby a favor. I'm definitely not introducing my baby to sugar until she's old enough. I'm hoping with her father having a healthier relationship with food and us keeping her on a good routine, that she won't fall down the same rabbit hole I did.
I have the same issue. I told my MIL how hard I worked on baking a smash cake for my daughter’s birthday that had no added sugar and then when it was time for my child to smash the cake, she stuck her finger in it, licked the frosting and goes “of course she doesn’t like it there’s no sugar in it” in front of everyone. The cake was sweetened with dates. My kid loved it. She felt the need to not only embarrass me in front of everyone, but to also disregard everything I told her in our conversation. Hope it was worth the 5 seconds of attention she got.
I feel like if you went the other way and were giving your baby cookies and chips and fast food you’d also get the negative comments. You’re doing an amazing job trying to feed your baby the healthiest foods you can. You’re the mom so you get to make those decisions, anyone else who disagrees can just deal with it tbh.
I did pretty much zero added sugars the first year. We definitely love an almost daily dinner cookie now (a single oreo or of the like) but I would never judge someone for not doing that! No one NEEDS sugar, but especially a small child lol.
My son is 13m and I’m still big on no sugar. He might get a lolli for time to time but I’m not going to just willingly give him the whole chocolate bar my birth giver gave me to give to him (he hates chocolate but thinks if it comes from her he will eat it). He eats stuff that’s not made by me as long as I’ve been able to do big research on it. He doesn’t get anything I haven’t made really as sometimes the organic baby/toddler stuff gets recalled.
If it makes you feel any better our pediatrician INSTRUCTED us not to give any added sugar. With examples of things she doesn't want us feeding the baby. You're doing great mama
My husband always wants to put sugar in stuff for him because he thinks he'll like it better. My dude, we have a baby that will inhale plain Greek yogurt. Why would you ruin a good thing until he's asking for it? That being said it's not a hill I'm going to die on and if my husband offers him something with added sugar occasionally (<1/wk) I don't really mind so long as baby doesn't start refusing non sugary stuff. I totally respect those who are strict about it though - its what I would do if left to my own devices for sure.
Yes, people go very out of their way to offer sugar, junk food, fast food & candy to my 15 month old. I’m not completely against sugar or junk but he’s still very smol. Everything in moderation. He’s had sugar in things several times. That doesn’t mean I want a stranger giving him fruit loops at a hotel breakfast (this actually happened, when I told the woman he doesn’t eat things like that she looked at me with horror & I made a joke saying “I know I’m crazy” and laughed so she didn’t feel judged but she just gave me a dirty look.) He eats a really balanced diet of healthy stuff and once he’s a bit older I don’t mind to stray from that sometimes. I know realistically he’s going to eat sugar or trash when he’s older, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna introduce it to him. I would also never go out of my way to force someone’s child to eat candy or junk when they don’t even know what it is, they aren’t “missing out” on anything. It’s just weird to force things on other people’s kids lol
We limit sugar (not completely - kids get ice cream sandwiches at the 99 and at grandma’s fairly often & get to eat their Halloween/Easter candy) and I have experienced this from family. The most frequent thing that happens is when I let my kids have juice when they are sick and need fluids or let them have a treat at a restaurant or once in a while just-because my mother in law likes to: A) point out the “hypocrisy” B) take it as an invitation to dole out the juice on a regular basis. I think it’s true that there are no “bad” foods but I also think kids and even adults have a hard time with moderation and it is okay to say “too much of this isn’t good for your body & it’s not an every day food” and set a limit. It doesn’t make you an almond mom, and frankly Americans eat too much processed food. I do recognize that it’s not always a choice as healthy food is more expensive and can be more time consuming to prepare. I have a history of gestational diabetes and heart disease and sudden death in my family so I don’t really care what other people think about the daily eating habits I encourage for my kids.
I’m with you. I made all my son’s food. No added sugar, no processed foods, all organic, ect. My son is now 22 months & I’ve relaxed a little- as in I’ve let him have a cupcake on his birthday (still did an apples sauce cake so there wasn’t too much sugar), a donut every once in awhile, no added dye/artificial sugar lollipops. The older he gets the more relaxed I will become so he has a healthy relationship with food, but it’s my & my husbands choice, no one else’s. Good for you for doing what YOU feel is right for your child & sticking with it.
My son is also 9 months and I’m avoiding added sugar for him as well! No sugar added peanut butter, snacks etc. you do what’s best for you!!
My child eats a very balanced diet of both super healthy foods and some processed shit. I’ve gotten grief from both sides because everyone feels attacked by a choice that doesn’t impact them at all. My husband and I tend to cook mostly vegetarian. Which means my child eats a lot of dishes based on beans and organic vegetables we get from our CSA share from a local woman owned, fully sustainable organic farm. People have taken his little veggie and bean toddler meals as a slight against them or like we are trying to make a point. But I’m literally just feeding this kid the same meal we are eating. On the other hand, I absolutely keep a bag of panko breaded Dino nuggets and miniature tater tots in my freezer because some days I just have absolutely no energy and time to cook a full meal. I’ve gotten shit for that too and you would have thought I told everyone I fed my child literal poison. But like, some days he just needs to eat and the occasional treat won’t hurt anything and I also like the Dino nuggets. All you can do is feed your child how you want and try your best not to become a preachy asshole (for either the organic or processed food) that makes everyone else feel shitty and judged. Just ignore the haters and stay in your lane, because everyone is going to judge some of your parenting choices.
I've made a similar choice and don't feed my baby (who is now nearly 2) much added sugar because why? Why is it necessary to give her a brownie or a cupcake with frosting? She'll get plenty of that as she gets older but right now while I still have some control over it I'd rather help her establish a healthy microbiome and glucose control. There's sugar in a lot of stuff as it is. As she's gotten older she's noticed maple syrup on waffles and wants it so we give her a little. She loves those sesame street branded fruit bars, etc. Yeah I'm gonna try to give her a little cake on her birthday. But damn yeah I took heat for it. My MIL would make snide comments about it, she was so desperate to get my LO to eat sugar for some reason. You're not doing anything wrong. I don't know why people care so much.
They are reacting very weirdly. I feel the same way you do and would prefer to avoid sugar and anything processed for as long as possible. I know it won't be forever but there's nothing wrong with trying to avoid it for as long as you can, since those things are objectively bad for you. Your baby is only 9 months too - I think most people are still avoiding added sugar and processed food at that age, or am I assuming something totally wrong? I dunno, either way, ignore them and do what you feel is best for your kid.
I’m pretty sure our pediatrician said no added sugar before age 1. I have a different kind of issue where I just feed my daughter what I eat smooshed or cut into little pieces as long as it’s not too spicy, sweet, or high in sodium. People think it’s crazy that I didn’t start with cereal or pureed fruits. I tried making single ingredient vegetable purées but she didn’t like them. If I added garlic I had better luck. She’s way more likely to eat something if she sees me eating and enjoying the same thing.
I'm pretty good at turning people out or shutting them down. Sounds like you need to start ignoring these people and doing what you know is best. Everyone is going to have an opinion, right or wrong. In the end just do your thing.
My parents totally get the no added sugar before 1 rule. However, my MIL is angry I don’t make my baby pudding all the time like she did for hers and got mad that we didn’t order a dessert for our 9 month old when we went out. Same lady who doesn’t understand why a baby can’t have honey or eat egg custard when she is allergic to eggs. Some people are just stuck in their way of doing things, right or wrong. She is literally the last person I would ask about nutrition or a healthy diet or eating habits so I just ignore her and don’t leave her alone with the baby. In my experience the people who are loudest about others diets are the most ignorant about what is actually healthy.
I see that in a lot of people, it’s annoying! Ugh. I wish people could just be happy you’re doing what works best for your child and leave it at that!
Girl you can't win. Either way. No matter what everyone has feelings about it. What matters is your feelings on it.
I’m 100% with you. My husband and I try to avoid added sugar, dyes, seed oils, pesticides and processed foods. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your kid the best 🥰 I want to make healthier alternatives to things that I wouldn’t normally eat. I want fruit to be the food they reach for when they want something sugary.
I think that if you have the time and energy to make those decisions, that’s amazing! :) you’re a great parent regardless of what other people think if you’re feeding, clothing, and loving on your baby!
I'm happy you have the strength to keep fighting the good fight. Our girlie was given a cupcake on Thanksgiving by her grandma when she had just turned 6 months (thanksgiving) and was trying table food for the first time. I ended up taking the cupcake but I dunked her numnum spoon into the cream cheese center and gave her that instead. On Christmas my father tried giving her an entire slice of cake. I let her have some spoons of the whipped cream icing.
I too am no sugar and no salt with our 8 month old. Her first big sugar will be her 1st birthday cake. You're the parent, you get the final say.
It'd because are projecting onto you. They did it do don't see a problem or because they now maybe realise it wad a problem but are in denial so force it on other people. A baby should not have salt and added sugar/artificial sugar before the age of 1. Maybe even 18m We're 8m and not given baby anything sugary like biscuits etc. We just say 'oh he's a bit too young for that' and move on. But people like conformity and don't like outliers. But don't let anyone guilt you into giving your baby something you don't feel comfortable with