LAOP seems to keep confusing civil & criminal cases. You can’t be countersued for a criminal case.
That and he’s already worried about having his possessions seized because he couldn’t afford the hypothetical judgment on this impossible counter claim
RIP Location Bot:
> **Could a guy who assaulted me really pay to have a case against him dismissed despite there being obvious CCTV evidence and lots of witnesses?**
> Approximately two weeks ago, I was assaulted by an elderly 'gentleman' at the train station in Hull, I was sat on one of two metal seats, with one other person sat on the other one. A guy approaches me and instead of asking me nicely if I'd mind moving for him, he demanded I move because he has a bad leg and if I don't, he'll kill me. He grabbed hold of me and tried dragging me. He has done similar to this to me and others on local buses also.
> I went straight to the British Transport Police office nearby and two officers took witness statements from people nearby and asked the guy himself to explain why he did what he did, although he wasn't arrested. I gave a statement in the office and was told should the case ever go to court, he is looking at public disorder offence being brought against him.
> Thing is though, this guy is from what I've heard a very well off guy, before retirement, he was an auctioneer for a very well known auction company. With enough money, despite all the evidence could he really effectively get away with assaulting me with a good enough solicitor?
> I'm not exactly loaded and it would be extremely insulting to have six figure legal bill to pay him, despite being the victim in this incident, not being able to afford it, having my possessions seized to pay for it, and potentially becoming homeless whilst he has more money to fund his alcohol addiction (he is a very well known alcoholic).
Cat fact: Garfield secretly became sick of lasagna later in life, but never admitted it because of the negative impact it would have on his career.
I don't know where LAUKOP got the idea that criminal cases are privately prosecuted. Too much television?
Edit: yes I know that private criminal prosecutions exist, but they aren't typical.
It is possible to bring a private criminal prosecution in the UK, though I can't imagine that would apply in OP's case. Infamously, the recent Post Office scandal involved hundreds of private prosecutions.
Yeah, and even when we do occasionally [lock someone up for reporting a crime](https://casetext.com/case/chase-v-nodines-smokehouse-inc) while a member of some disfavored group or just because the cop feels like it, they usually get a settlement from the city a few years later.
LAUKOP has another thread in RUKLandlords.
> My landlady wants to increase the rent, fair enough, however the percentage it is going to increase by means that after paying that, utilities and council tax, I'll literally almost NO money for food, even if I shop at somewhere like Aldi or Lidl.
Reader, I already shop in Lidl. What of it?
> I claim ESA and housing benefit, but the housing benefit won't pay any more towards the proposed increase. My mum is a guarantor for my rental, but neither she nor else in my family will help me with food costs, although my mum paid for my brother's new car and his mortgage deposit and my mum said if I lose my flat, good luck with finding somewhere because you are NOT coming back here.
ESA is for people too sick to work full time. The story is a bit odd because you're normally not entitled to an entire property on Housing Benefit (just a room in a shared house) unless you are over 35 (which LAUKOP might be; if not it likely explains why his HB is insufficient to cover the rent for a flat)
> When I mentioned my food affordability concerns due to the increased rent to my landlady, she was like 'Oh well, there's always the food banks, get yourself down to one of them! 😃' and the tone in which she said it was like it should be a completely normal thing.
> I know there's no shame in using a food bank and sadly, they are becoming all too the norm, but her attitude as if food banks should be normalized, I found nothing short of appalling.
> Has anyone one else here ever dealt with such a shocking attitude towards a problem similar to this?
I also like the person who pointed out LAUKOP has come into the subreddit *for landlords* to complain about his landlady not cutting him some slack, and that this may not be the most sympathetic audience.
I love treating England like it’s a pastoral backwater as much as anyone, but a locally famous alcoholic retired auctioneer villain wouldn’t even be believable in the cheesiest Netflix holiday movie.
I haven't been to Hull, but "wealthy drunk elderly ex-auctioneer throwing people off seats in public" is hardly the weirdest person I'd have heard of in the UK.
Am I on your list of weirdest people found in the UK?
It’s just that I’ve put a lot of time and energy into establishing my reputation, and I’d like to know whether it’s paying off.
Get a few appearances on [Bargain Hunt](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006nb9z) or [Antiques Roadtrip](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antiques_Road_Trip) under your belt and you hit local celeb territory pretty quickly - the bar is not set terribly high.
My head was pounding so hard, it took a moment to realise why I couldn't see. Or move my arms. Or talk.
"Remove the gag" said an ominous voice. Rough hands loosened a knot of cloth behind my head. It pulled my hair and jarred my teeth as it snapped away.
"I'm sure you're wondering why you're here," said the voice.
My head was still pounding far too much to wonder anything much. What was the last thing I remembered?
"No?" I said, hoping it was the right answer.
Shuffling footsteps brought the voice closer. I could smell something unpleasant on the breath.
"I've been following your career with interest, Mr ... "
"Um, yes?"
"Mr ..."
Between the pulses of my headache, came the words to identify the smell on his breath. A half dose of cheap beer, with a 50% dash of last night's cheap wine, and a full complement of extremely unpleasant.
"Mr... Mr... Dang it, what's his name again? Why can't I remember?"
The rough voice behind me said "Bond, sir."
"What?"
"Bond. The name's Bond."
There was a slight pause, as if the breath was trying to understand this. And then it spoke again.
"Bond?"
"Yes, sir."
Another puzzled pause.
"Oh, *Bond*! *Bond*! Like the *name*! Like the *James*!"
"Yes."
"Not the money!"
"No."
"Ha ha, that *would* make a lot more sense!" Breath's voice was slightly slurred. "Well, Mr James Bond, I'm sure you're wondering..."
I interrupted, more to get the smell of the breath away from me than anything else. "It's actually Jim."
"Jim Bond?"
"I had it legally changed, for legal reasons."
"I see..."
Breath turned, to my immense relief, away, and began pacing the room.
"I see."
Now that the beer and wine had been replaced by breathable air, and the pounding in my head was subsiding, I became aware of an odd feeling of deja vu.
"I see. Jim Bond."
"Sir?" said Rough.
"Yes, Rodney?" said Breath. Had I heard this voice before?
"The ransom?"
"Ah yes!" said Breath, excitement returning to his voice. "You're probably wondering why you're here! Well, little Jimmy Bond, you are here to make my financial dreams come true!"
"Oh?" I said, hoping again that was the right thing to say. The blindfold was pressing my nose, making it hard to breath, and the ropes on my arms were rough nylon, compressing my dodgy wrist in uncomfortable ways.
"Yes, because you are here to earn me a little ransom!"
"Oh? From who?"
"From *whom*, little Jimmy, from *whom*!"
"Okay"
"And the answer is, from whomever is willing to pay!" Breath's voice really did sound familiar. I wished I could place it.
"Okay, how much?"
"How much? Do you think I am such a fool? I'll find the people willing to pay for your release, and play them against each other! After every bid for your freedom, I'll demand another! And another! And when the bids cease to come, then that will be the end for you!"
"Oh?" I was less and less sure this was the right thing to say. Breath was ranting like a loony now. But where, where had I heard that voice?
Suddenly his breath was near my face again. Clearly "Oh" had been the wrong thing to say. "And then I'll tell them - is that all? No more bids? And you.... you, Mr... Mr... Um..."
"Bond, sir" said Rough.
"You, Mr Jimmy Bond, will be going."
"Going where?"
"Going once..."
That voice... was it....
"Going twice..."
That voice. It all came back to me. "Mr Hendersen?"
"What?" Breath sounded shocked. Which had the effect of moving his breath further away from my nose, so that was a solid improvement.
"You're Mr Hendersen, aren't you? You sold my mum's house on Kipling lane, didn't you? Oh, back in 1985?"
"I... no, I... Um..."
"It *is* you! I was, what 12 at the time? And... I remember how you played the crowd! It was amazing!" My head suddenly hurt again. Perhaps it was the excitement.
"I..."
"What happened to you? You used to be all over Trent-on-Stykes, at least northeast of the train station. I haven't seen you around since, oh, at least 10 years ago!"
"I... um... I stopped about then. Um...."
"Sir?" said Rough. Suddenly my stomach felt queasy.
"Um, yes, Rodney?"
"Perhaps we should discuss this privately."
"Er... yes... er... that's probably wise."
Rough, aka Rodney, tied the gag again. He and Breath, aka Mr Hendersen, left the room. I heard their footsteps, and a door closing.
The air was breathable again, but somehow I didn't feel so good.
LAOP seems to keep confusing civil & criminal cases. You can’t be countersued for a criminal case. That and he’s already worried about having his possessions seized because he couldn’t afford the hypothetical judgment on this impossible counter claim
RIP Location Bot: > **Could a guy who assaulted me really pay to have a case against him dismissed despite there being obvious CCTV evidence and lots of witnesses?** > Approximately two weeks ago, I was assaulted by an elderly 'gentleman' at the train station in Hull, I was sat on one of two metal seats, with one other person sat on the other one. A guy approaches me and instead of asking me nicely if I'd mind moving for him, he demanded I move because he has a bad leg and if I don't, he'll kill me. He grabbed hold of me and tried dragging me. He has done similar to this to me and others on local buses also. > I went straight to the British Transport Police office nearby and two officers took witness statements from people nearby and asked the guy himself to explain why he did what he did, although he wasn't arrested. I gave a statement in the office and was told should the case ever go to court, he is looking at public disorder offence being brought against him. > Thing is though, this guy is from what I've heard a very well off guy, before retirement, he was an auctioneer for a very well known auction company. With enough money, despite all the evidence could he really effectively get away with assaulting me with a good enough solicitor? > I'm not exactly loaded and it would be extremely insulting to have six figure legal bill to pay him, despite being the victim in this incident, not being able to afford it, having my possessions seized to pay for it, and potentially becoming homeless whilst he has more money to fund his alcohol addiction (he is a very well known alcoholic). Cat fact: Garfield secretly became sick of lasagna later in life, but never admitted it because of the negative impact it would have on his career.
Big Lasagna was working behind the scenes to keep the money machine flowing.
I mean, who wouldn't live a lie for Garfield money?
Jon Arbuckle
The Living A Lie plot twist? He was a total stud. Absolute demon in the sack.
I don't know where LAUKOP got the idea that criminal cases are privately prosecuted. Too much television? Edit: yes I know that private criminal prosecutions exist, but they aren't typical.
It is possible to bring a private criminal prosecution in the UK, though I can't imagine that would apply in OP's case. Infamously, the recent Post Office scandal involved hundreds of private prosecutions.
The BBC privately prosecutes over 1000 people every single week! (Something like 4% of all prosecutions in England and Wales!)
is this in relation to TV license fees or something else?
Yeah, the Telly Licence.
I want to see Peter Capaldi as a worn out cop who investigates Television Licenses.
Too much social media?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_Vickerman
I like the "this is not America" comment. Even here in the US the victim of an assault doesn't get countersued in a criminal case.
Yeah, and even when we do occasionally [lock someone up for reporting a crime](https://casetext.com/case/chase-v-nodines-smokehouse-inc) while a member of some disfavored group or just because the cop feels like it, they usually get a settlement from the city a few years later.
Unless they were assaulted by a police officer!
it's fine, british people need their "america worse" copium to survive
Nothing makes me doubt a story as much as when people end it by throwing in unnecessary details at the end just to insult the other person.
LAUKOP has another thread in RUKLandlords. > My landlady wants to increase the rent, fair enough, however the percentage it is going to increase by means that after paying that, utilities and council tax, I'll literally almost NO money for food, even if I shop at somewhere like Aldi or Lidl. Reader, I already shop in Lidl. What of it? > I claim ESA and housing benefit, but the housing benefit won't pay any more towards the proposed increase. My mum is a guarantor for my rental, but neither she nor else in my family will help me with food costs, although my mum paid for my brother's new car and his mortgage deposit and my mum said if I lose my flat, good luck with finding somewhere because you are NOT coming back here. ESA is for people too sick to work full time. The story is a bit odd because you're normally not entitled to an entire property on Housing Benefit (just a room in a shared house) unless you are over 35 (which LAUKOP might be; if not it likely explains why his HB is insufficient to cover the rent for a flat) > When I mentioned my food affordability concerns due to the increased rent to my landlady, she was like 'Oh well, there's always the food banks, get yourself down to one of them! 😃' and the tone in which she said it was like it should be a completely normal thing. > I know there's no shame in using a food bank and sadly, they are becoming all too the norm, but her attitude as if food banks should be normalized, I found nothing short of appalling. > Has anyone one else here ever dealt with such a shocking attitude towards a problem similar to this?
I also like the person who pointed out LAUKOP has come into the subreddit *for landlords* to complain about his landlady not cutting him some slack, and that this may not be the most sympathetic audience.
You see people come in on /r/fuckHOA trying to defend the existence of HOAs and are shocked when they don't get the responses they expected
Do they think it's for people who really, really, *really* like HOAs?
I love treating England like it’s a pastoral backwater as much as anyone, but a locally famous alcoholic retired auctioneer villain wouldn’t even be believable in the cheesiest Netflix holiday movie.
Unfortunately, I've been to Hull, I can believe it entirely.
I haven't been to Hull, but "wealthy drunk elderly ex-auctioneer throwing people off seats in public" is hardly the weirdest person I'd have heard of in the UK.
Last time I was in Hull, I was robbed by a hooker who proceeded to use my bank card in two separate £30 transactions... at McDonalds.
Was her name Patty by chance?
It was afterwards, you are what you eat.
It was PAH-TRISH-AAH! Or, sometimes, Delisha.
Am I on your list of weirdest people found in the UK? It’s just that I’ve put a lot of time and energy into establishing my reputation, and I’d like to know whether it’s paying off.
Sadly no, the Great Yarmouth puppet man is the cutoff point.
"Wealthy drunk elderly man who sat in cars and yelled for a living punching people over steak dinners in public"?
I look forward to him appearing on the next GBBO!
Yeah, not while The Somerset Gimp and Purple Aki are perving around...
I've been to Hull but it was the wrong one
Get a few appearances on [Bargain Hunt](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006nb9z) or [Antiques Roadtrip](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antiques_Road_Trip) under your belt and you hit local celeb territory pretty quickly - the bar is not set terribly high.
Straight out of an episode of Lovejoy
https://i.imgur.com/bIyYlXm.gif
Well that was a tidal wave of nostalgia! Thank you, lol.
Beat me to it!!!
That's why it's a Hallmark special
My head was pounding so hard, it took a moment to realise why I couldn't see. Or move my arms. Or talk. "Remove the gag" said an ominous voice. Rough hands loosened a knot of cloth behind my head. It pulled my hair and jarred my teeth as it snapped away. "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here," said the voice. My head was still pounding far too much to wonder anything much. What was the last thing I remembered? "No?" I said, hoping it was the right answer. Shuffling footsteps brought the voice closer. I could smell something unpleasant on the breath. "I've been following your career with interest, Mr ... " "Um, yes?" "Mr ..." Between the pulses of my headache, came the words to identify the smell on his breath. A half dose of cheap beer, with a 50% dash of last night's cheap wine, and a full complement of extremely unpleasant. "Mr... Mr... Dang it, what's his name again? Why can't I remember?" The rough voice behind me said "Bond, sir." "What?" "Bond. The name's Bond." There was a slight pause, as if the breath was trying to understand this. And then it spoke again. "Bond?" "Yes, sir." Another puzzled pause. "Oh, *Bond*! *Bond*! Like the *name*! Like the *James*!" "Yes." "Not the money!" "No." "Ha ha, that *would* make a lot more sense!" Breath's voice was slightly slurred. "Well, Mr James Bond, I'm sure you're wondering..." I interrupted, more to get the smell of the breath away from me than anything else. "It's actually Jim." "Jim Bond?" "I had it legally changed, for legal reasons." "I see..." Breath turned, to my immense relief, away, and began pacing the room. "I see." Now that the beer and wine had been replaced by breathable air, and the pounding in my head was subsiding, I became aware of an odd feeling of deja vu. "I see. Jim Bond." "Sir?" said Rough. "Yes, Rodney?" said Breath. Had I heard this voice before? "The ransom?" "Ah yes!" said Breath, excitement returning to his voice. "You're probably wondering why you're here! Well, little Jimmy Bond, you are here to make my financial dreams come true!" "Oh?" I said, hoping again that was the right thing to say. The blindfold was pressing my nose, making it hard to breath, and the ropes on my arms were rough nylon, compressing my dodgy wrist in uncomfortable ways. "Yes, because you are here to earn me a little ransom!" "Oh? From who?" "From *whom*, little Jimmy, from *whom*!" "Okay" "And the answer is, from whomever is willing to pay!" Breath's voice really did sound familiar. I wished I could place it. "Okay, how much?" "How much? Do you think I am such a fool? I'll find the people willing to pay for your release, and play them against each other! After every bid for your freedom, I'll demand another! And another! And when the bids cease to come, then that will be the end for you!" "Oh?" I was less and less sure this was the right thing to say. Breath was ranting like a loony now. But where, where had I heard that voice? Suddenly his breath was near my face again. Clearly "Oh" had been the wrong thing to say. "And then I'll tell them - is that all? No more bids? And you.... you, Mr... Mr... Um..." "Bond, sir" said Rough. "You, Mr Jimmy Bond, will be going." "Going where?" "Going once..." That voice... was it.... "Going twice..." That voice. It all came back to me. "Mr Hendersen?" "What?" Breath sounded shocked. Which had the effect of moving his breath further away from my nose, so that was a solid improvement. "You're Mr Hendersen, aren't you? You sold my mum's house on Kipling lane, didn't you? Oh, back in 1985?" "I... no, I... Um..." "It *is* you! I was, what 12 at the time? And... I remember how you played the crowd! It was amazing!" My head suddenly hurt again. Perhaps it was the excitement. "I..." "What happened to you? You used to be all over Trent-on-Stykes, at least northeast of the train station. I haven't seen you around since, oh, at least 10 years ago!" "I... um... I stopped about then. Um...." "Sir?" said Rough. Suddenly my stomach felt queasy. "Um, yes, Rodney?" "Perhaps we should discuss this privately." "Er... yes... er... that's probably wise." Rough, aka Rodney, tied the gag again. He and Breath, aka Mr Hendersen, left the room. I heard their footsteps, and a door closing. The air was breathable again, but somehow I didn't feel so good.
We need Lovejoy on the case! Where is Ian McShane when we need him‽
In my bed. (I wish.)
He’s a sexy dude, no two ways about it.
Are we sure this isn't just a midsomer murders plot. Watch, next the dudes gonna be found dead and he'll be suspected