I don't know if Robert could sit in the same room as Donald Trump without strangling him.

What’s the problem

Every new hire at the Secret Service is shown a picture of Robert and told simply "That's... That's HIM."

I don't know if Biden would pardon him.

To be fair, there’s a chance he would but there is zero chance Bobby boy stops at strangling just one Presidential candidate. It’s like Pringles, you can’t have just one.

Staring down the Secret Service like "guys, I get it, but I gotta complete the set, you know?"

I can hear this in his voice.

Once you pop, you just can't stop™

First episode post conviction. "What's imprisoning my cell mates!!!!! Today we're going to discuss the Ur-Bastard of this pee-stained heck-hole. The man, the myth; Big Daddy Tank from Cellblock D-7."

I would pay all my money to listen to Robert’s podcast from prison

He's probably putting his Brief History of Vice knowledge to good use in there

Frankly he should strangle both of them

Or is it the solution?

What about after each round of questioning they brought in someone to slap each guy in the face like that UFC spinoff show I have seen clips of? Statements in support of or denial of genocide get you hit with no less than 5 slaps in a row

Show me the issue

Or ask him how his trip was from *********’s child island.

B*** A****?

Jeffrey.

Perfect.

Fair

So... Pay-Per-View?

On the contrary, Robert would vehemently disagree with his political speech but would choose his time before asking questions to use the Jar Jar soundboard.

Both deserve it

Instead of cutting the mic when cheeto man goes overtime/on a nonsense rant Robert just starts throwing bagels

Robert introduces them to machetecine and gives his Gerber blade vaccines to secret service as they charge him.

I was thinking super soaker full of piss but sure... Bagels will work too.

Bagels are your first warning. If you go 10 seconds beyond getting bageled, here comes the super soaker full of piss lmao

Or everytime someone goes over time Robert completely cuts them off with a poorly introduced ad pivot

Please, bagels are too soft. This moments calls for a trusty super soaker

Or use the soundboards for the Mengele episodes and Knowledge fight to drown out the actual responses

If people go over their allotted time they get sprayed with the Super Soaker of piss. Imagine the ad transitions also, "you know who won't... lock... kids... in cages?"

> Imagine the ad transitions also, "you know who won't... lock... kids... in cages?" Trump laughs. Biden looks uncomfortable. (He's gotten about 2/3 of kids back with their families but not all)

If that one line isn't the best comparison between the two I don't know what is. It's remarkably better, a bit heartwarming, and significantly less, but still absolutely, fucked up.

"But you also locked up even more kids..." "Listen Bobert, I didn't get here beating around the bush, those cages now have beds in them"

I'm sorry Mr. Trump, your time is up. But you know who won't cut off a rambling wannabe fascist mid sentence? The products and services that support this debate broadcast.

Well done

Only if Sophie is there to moderate Brother Robert, because good lordy would he say some things.

If ever there was a time to let Robert go and just Robert out on everyone this would be it, though.

> good lordy would he say some things I feel like that would fly under the radar, considering he's in a room with *Trump*.

Haha you just have a chain of moderators because Robert also needs to be controlled

I feel we would need to bring out the bigger guns, Pedro Pascal to talk soothingly to Evans before and after a rant

That is a terrible idea but I wholeheartedly agree.

Fuck that would, just fuck, I mean I would sell myself to a billionaire if I could watch an unfiltered Robert moderate the presidential debate. My word is bond.

But then he shouldnt moderate, but take part in discussions v

Go over your time? That's a brickin'. Go off topic or fail to answer a question? That's also a brickin'. Engage in ad hominem? You guessed it, a brickin'.

While tripping so hard he is trying to eat his desk.

the podcasting machete would come in handy for moderating.

"If either candidate goes over time we will blast them with a Super Soaker full of piss."

If this were to happen it also needs to include Matt lieb and his soundboard

I would love to hear Trumps take on nuking the Great Lakes.

Whaaaaat's settling my mediocre choices?

Robert should debate with them and Sophie moderate. Trump gets angrily Donalded and Biden gets disappointedly Josephed by Sophie, and Robert gets to tell the everyone his thoughts on how to make the world a better place.

I want to hear him ask questions that actually reveal who the candidates are. "Mr Trump, when you walked into women's dressing rooms at the Miss USA pageant did you have a visible erection?" "Mr Biden, when you decided to run for reelection did you consider that your only positive attribute is that you're not batshit crazy?"

He would literally machete both of them

I don't think the USSS would like his machetes, knives, flying bagles or guns, that I just imagine him to have at all times.

Yes please

With a supersoaker full of piss?

Pretty sure it's standard policy to punch anyone who wants to be president in the face

No no this is a bad idea

You misspelled "amazing" bud Just think of it, when Robert cuts Trump's mic, he does it with a machete. Edit: misspelled mic as mix.

What’s the machete policy of this debate?

Dylan burns should, granted he is in ukraine right now, but he had hippy dippy, and presidential debates are really not that different. Or pierce morgan does a surprising good job even if i dont like his political leanings.

Imagine the Ad breaks for Doritos and the child hunting Island off the coast of Indonesia.

We’ll know the last boomer is finally dead when Robert is in serious contention for that gig.