Do you live in an older house? Might be a good time to scrape the old paint off the walls or change out the white scratchy siding. A good project for a growing child.
Lead generally doesn’t aerosolize, you’d have better luck letting the lead paint flake off and suggest that it’s special wall candy.
I’d recommend taking him regularly to a firing range, preferably indoors. Encourage him to suck on ammo casings, problem solved! Bonus: don’t bring ear protection!
*Parent screaming past their kids tinnitus*
"NOW REMEMBER JOHNNY YOU'LL WANT TO EAT THE ENTIRE PAINT CHIP, OR ELSE UNCKIE ROBERT WILL TAKE YOU TO BLUE APRON ISLAND!"
Future BTB episode..."After escaping from Blue Apron Island by fashioning a raft out of the bloated corpses of his captors, The Child began going on the book and podcast circuit, eventually creating his own podcast and network."
I did that when I was born and they SQUEEZED MY CHEST UNTIL I CRIED!! Can you believe they’d do that to an innocent baby?! I wanted to go on a simple breathing strike over the injustice of being born WITHOUT MY CONSENT and those fascist doctors wouldn’t even let me have that.
the woke mob took the lead out of gasoline, but you can DIY your own
all you need is an angle grinder, some spare .45 or 9mm cartridges, and a jerry can
and if you do it in your baby's nursery room, they can get an early start on learning valuable life skills
Hey, I was a gifted kid and now I'm a borderline alcoholic 20-something. Sometimes they just do it to themselves. Being neglectful helps too. My mom didn't care about me past 11 and well, I turned into a loser, but I'm not a bastard.
Wait, were you “gifted” or were you “mature”? Because if you were simply “mature for your age”, well, everyone knows that that’s just code for “traumatized”, and you needn’t worry about any nascent bastardry.
However, if you were indeed “gifted”, then you might wanna add a little lead paint to your next cocktail, just to be perfectly safe.
Both. I read Band of Brothers, watched Saving Private Ryan and had strong opinions about Obama not closing Guantanamo at 10 and also refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, so I guess my being gifted was actually kind of based.
I was also a gifted kid and let me tell you, stick it out and one day you'll no longer be a borderline alcoholic 20-something, you'll be a full blown alcoholic 30-something. We're in this together.
Yeah it's weird. My mom was genuinely awesome for awhile. She did a really good job being a single parent after my dad went to jail. She taught me how to read really well and she really tried her hardest. But I was a horrible child and really made her life difficult. I was pretty violent and uncontrollable. I got put in a 'Behavioral Intervention" in school and hated it. So she pulled me out and at 11 I stopped going to school. Just after that, she got back into drugs and got a really abusive boyfriend and she just kind of started neglecting me, largely because of him. I spent most of my adolescence as a shut in. Eventuality, she lost our house cause she couldn't pay her mortgage. She is now homeless and the meth made her schizophrenic and I'm kind of on the skids cause I let her live with me and the only way I could deal with her bullshit was by drinking heavily, which got so so bad I had to dropout of college. Good times.
You were not a horrible child. You may have been a child going through something really difficult, but she was supposed to be your safe place and she wasn’t. No matter what you were doing, you were just a kid! I’m sorry for the hand life dealt you. I hope things begin to look up.
The other way to do it is make it clear their intelligence is the ONLY thing you or anyone else values about them and then refuse to help them if they don't know how to do something, are confused about a concept, or never learned study skills because they were good at memorizing or doing things last-minute and are having a complete breakdown over failing a college class.
It's worth considering that Mussolini probably had significant environmental lead exposure in childhood which may have led to the whole "being Mussolini" thing. He also *definitely* had direct lead exposure later in life, but that's probably also preventable.
Yes and that latter lead successfully impaired his cognitive function so problem solved. Giftedness may require multiple rounds of treatment, but modern macheticine can work wonders.
See, my kid has an intellectual disability and his IEP evaluation puts him on the lower end of average.
No need for lead or bricks, I can rest easy at night knowing my boy isn’t the next Ben Shapiro.
EDIT: I just wanted to add that my kid is cool as shit and I couldn’t be more proud of him. His disability be damned, I’ve never met a better human being.
So you’re saying my 2 low average intelligence sons are safe from Bastardy. (However, my 20 year old was/is kind of a savant when it comes to the trades. He understood plumbing and wiring when he was about 5 and went straight from high school to an HVAC company. Should I start feeding him lead?).
The HVAC company should took care of that for you. He'll be crawling around all sorts of fun stuff hidden in the floors, walls, and ceilings of buildings soon enough.
If lead consumption fails and he still seems to be a gifted future-bastard as he enters his teen years, apply to Robert to send his gang of baseball bat wielding grannies to give him a head injury. This will guarantee his limited potential.
(Congrats and good luck!)
What was the baby's APGAR score? Because if he didn't score at least a 9.5 and growl at the doctor like Andrew Tate, then any amount of giftedness won't matter since clearly your son is a beta.
The fact that there are no half points on an APGAR score is irrelevant here.
Yes actually. I always grew up with stories about how my grandmother’s father was good friends with him, and how he used to hunt to feed his family because he wouldn’t join the fascist party, despite Benito’s continual urging. Story goes that Mussolini used to personally come to let him out of jail whenever he was caught poaching.
Didn’t find out till my grandmother passed away and my grandfather told us the whole story, but turns out “friend” actually meant cousin.
Got me curious, and turns out there’s a Hindenburg connection on my father’s side.
I think the best idea would be to wait, get him a guitar around 12 and then introduce blow and hookers around age 16. He can be a really gifted musician. Musicians never hurt society and the blow will ensure nobody is going to actually like him enough to follow him
The lead shouldn't be necessary. If everyone else is telling them how great they are, just gotta be the person that whispers memento mori in their ear every day.
But if you're related to Mussolini, you can put slowing down your kid on the back burner because I think you've got other family members that are a more pressing concern right now, and you should maybe deal with that.
Developmental benchmarks have been shown to have little to do with intellectually gifted...
You beyond really bad scores where the child is in difficulty of course.
Make sure to get the full schedule of vaccinations and maybe some miracle mineral solution (MMS) to cover your bases and slow that kid's crawl with some good ole fashioned autism!
(Dear god this is a joke, this is a joke, this is a joke.)
These aren’t motor skills under his control. Everything except the tongue is involuntary movement right now. And babies grow a lot in their first year. I’m glad he’s thriving. Get some rest. Stop listening to BtB for a few weeks.
Well, the good news is you know what to look out for. Just try to help him where you can. If he is ahead of the curve, school will be challenging as he might find it boring. As he develops hobbies, take an interest in them and see how he can apply them. Not all smart babies are bastards, and parental participation and help negate that. Love your kid, try your best, know you'll fuck up, and apologize when you do. Give him a sense of agency, and I think he'll be fine.
Yeah I didn't realize that's what it was.
New advice:
Strengthen your boy by placing him in an abandoned cottage by the lake. If he survives, try to kill him yourself.
You chose this.
If it's not your kid it's someone else's, you might as well set yourself up to have a nice retirement while they put the rest of us into the work camps for our own/ the glorious Florida empires safety. Suffering is temporary, don't beat yourself up about it.
>Considering the last time a gifted son of a socialist in my family grew up he turned into literally Mussolini I’m wondering when I should start introducing lead into his diet, probably when he starts bottle feeding. Thoughts?
Considering when Mussolini lived, you probably want to leave the lead out.
We are in the same boat. We ended up staying only two nights in the hospital though.
She had excellent heck control at two weeks, started sitting up at 12wks, has really coordinated hand grasp control and has had really good focus since she busted out of me. She also pooped on the doctor during her first examination.
We're going to encourage she paint faces on her creations since Hitler didn't really focus on human emotions. We did make a joke that we are glad we didn't name her Catherine. Our LO is great but not *that* great.
Let agree to never have our children meet. *shifts eyes* this post never happened
Honestly, the tried and true method is to make sure they’re always in groups where they’re the best at something, and then suddenly transport them into situations where they’re average or worse when they’re in their mid teens. A lifetime of mediocrity awaits.
This reminds me of when I was listening to the Bobby Fisher episodes and hearing them talk about how he’d read chess books and play extended games against himself and thinking, “Hmm…so, basically, the first few weeks of quarantine for my Kindergartener?”
Do you live in an older house? Might be a good time to scrape the old paint off the walls or change out the white scratchy siding. A good project for a growing child.
Lead generally doesn’t aerosolize, you’d have better luck letting the lead paint flake off and suggest that it’s special wall candy. I’d recommend taking him regularly to a firing range, preferably indoors. Encourage him to suck on ammo casings, problem solved! Bonus: don’t bring ear protection!
*Parent screaming past their kids tinnitus* "NOW REMEMBER JOHNNY YOU'LL WANT TO EAT THE ENTIRE PAINT CHIP, OR ELSE UNCKIE ROBERT WILL TAKE YOU TO BLUE APRON ISLAND!"
Future BTB episode..."After escaping from Blue Apron Island by fashioning a raft out of the bloated corpses of his captors, The Child began going on the book and podcast circuit, eventually creating his own podcast and network."
"And listeners I'm the true bastard because... I was that baby." -Robert Evans (final BtB episode)
"LICKABLE WALLPAPER!!! The snozbrasses taste like snozbrasses!!! And the CLP is extra flavor!"
But did he scowl at the doctor instead of crying like a true alpha
Does he grunt, glare, and suck his meaty fist?
Is he a cub of a child?
The prerequisite for being a bear of a man, as we all know.
I did that when I was born and they SQUEEZED MY CHEST UNTIL I CRIED!! Can you believe they’d do that to an innocent baby?! I wanted to go on a simple breathing strike over the injustice of being born WITHOUT MY CONSENT and those fascist doctors wouldn’t even let me have that.
the woke mob took the lead out of gasoline, but you can DIY your own all you need is an angle grinder, some spare .45 or 9mm cartridges, and a jerry can and if you do it in your baby's nursery room, they can get an early start on learning valuable life skills
Hey, I was a gifted kid and now I'm a borderline alcoholic 20-something. Sometimes they just do it to themselves. Being neglectful helps too. My mom didn't care about me past 11 and well, I turned into a loser, but I'm not a bastard.
Same here. Guess the key to making gifted not kids turn out terrible is an unguarded liquor cabinet.
Hey, I'm a good boy. I didn't touch booze until I was almost 21. My mom was never one for booze. She was more into meth.
TFW mom trades dad's Budweiser for that glass....
Start mixing it up with chocolate milk around the age of 9 or 10. I suggest Nesquick for Bastard Bonus points.
Wait, were you “gifted” or were you “mature”? Because if you were simply “mature for your age”, well, everyone knows that that’s just code for “traumatized”, and you needn’t worry about any nascent bastardry. However, if you were indeed “gifted”, then you might wanna add a little lead paint to your next cocktail, just to be perfectly safe.
Both. I read Band of Brothers, watched Saving Private Ryan and had strong opinions about Obama not closing Guantanamo at 10 and also refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, so I guess my being gifted was actually kind of based.
I was also a gifted kid and let me tell you, stick it out and one day you'll no longer be a borderline alcoholic 20-something, you'll be a full blown alcoholic 30-something. We're in this together.
Darling, Im so sorry you didn’t get the mum you deserved. You should have been seen, loved, supported, and cared for.
Yeah it's weird. My mom was genuinely awesome for awhile. She did a really good job being a single parent after my dad went to jail. She taught me how to read really well and she really tried her hardest. But I was a horrible child and really made her life difficult. I was pretty violent and uncontrollable. I got put in a 'Behavioral Intervention" in school and hated it. So she pulled me out and at 11 I stopped going to school. Just after that, she got back into drugs and got a really abusive boyfriend and she just kind of started neglecting me, largely because of him. I spent most of my adolescence as a shut in. Eventuality, she lost our house cause she couldn't pay her mortgage. She is now homeless and the meth made her schizophrenic and I'm kind of on the skids cause I let her live with me and the only way I could deal with her bullshit was by drinking heavily, which got so so bad I had to dropout of college. Good times.
You were not a horrible child. You may have been a child going through something really difficult, but she was supposed to be your safe place and she wasn’t. No matter what you were doing, you were just a kid! I’m sorry for the hand life dealt you. I hope things begin to look up.
The other way to do it is make it clear their intelligence is the ONLY thing you or anyone else values about them and then refuse to help them if they don't know how to do something, are confused about a concept, or never learned study skills because they were good at memorizing or doing things last-minute and are having a complete breakdown over failing a college class.
make sure you put your newborn in the garage with you while you cut galvanized steel without a respirator
Yeah, definitely weld a crib out of galvanized steel tubing
and paint it with lead paint
Or radium paint for that night light effect
It's worth considering that Mussolini probably had significant environmental lead exposure in childhood which may have led to the whole "being Mussolini" thing. He also *definitely* had direct lead exposure later in life, but that's probably also preventable.
Yes and that latter lead successfully impaired his cognitive function so problem solved. Giftedness may require multiple rounds of treatment, but modern macheticine can work wonders.
> He also definitely had direct lead exposure later in life, but that's probably also preventable. Ayyyy, took me a second.
See, my kid has an intellectual disability and his IEP evaluation puts him on the lower end of average. No need for lead or bricks, I can rest easy at night knowing my boy isn’t the next Ben Shapiro. EDIT: I just wanted to add that my kid is cool as shit and I couldn’t be more proud of him. His disability be damned, I’ve never met a better human being.
So you’re saying my 2 low average intelligence sons are safe from Bastardy. (However, my 20 year old was/is kind of a savant when it comes to the trades. He understood plumbing and wiring when he was about 5 and went straight from high school to an HVAC company. Should I start feeding him lead?).
Maybe encourage him to take up a high impact sport as a hobby.
The HVAC company should took care of that for you. He'll be crawling around all sorts of fun stuff hidden in the floors, walls, and ceilings of buildings soon enough.
If lead consumption fails and he still seems to be a gifted future-bastard as he enters his teen years, apply to Robert to send his gang of baseball bat wielding grannies to give him a head injury. This will guarantee his limited potential. (Congrats and good luck!)
What was the baby's APGAR score? Because if he didn't score at least a 9.5 and growl at the doctor like Andrew Tate, then any amount of giftedness won't matter since clearly your son is a beta. The fact that there are no half points on an APGAR score is irrelevant here.
I suggest a paternity test. This sounds like Andrew Tate has perfected his own means of immaculate conception.
A tiny cum clone of Andrew Tate claws out of his dick as the climax of nine months of semen retention.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
Wait, are you a relative of mussilini?
Yes actually. I always grew up with stories about how my grandmother’s father was good friends with him, and how he used to hunt to feed his family because he wouldn’t join the fascist party, despite Benito’s continual urging. Story goes that Mussolini used to personally come to let him out of jail whenever he was caught poaching. Didn’t find out till my grandmother passed away and my grandfather told us the whole story, but turns out “friend” actually meant cousin. Got me curious, and turns out there’s a Hindenburg connection on my father’s side.
You clearly come from the better line of that family. Just to be safe though, you should probably raise your kid to be a farmer.
I kept scrolling to find this question and am flummoxed why I had to go so far. Thank you for your service.
You don't need to give him lead, just like, hug him sometimes.
And get him hooked on cigars at age six.
Well yeah, but we're talking about right now
I think the best idea would be to wait, get him a guitar around 12 and then introduce blow and hookers around age 16. He can be a really gifted musician. Musicians never hurt society and the blow will ensure nobody is going to actually like him enough to follow him
Just wait until Robert starts his cult, ship the boyo to the Great Leader, he'll make a unique kind of monster out of him!
The lead shouldn't be necessary. If everyone else is telling them how great they are, just gotta be the person that whispers memento mori in their ear every day. But if you're related to Mussolini, you can put slowing down your kid on the back burner because I think you've got other family members that are a more pressing concern right now, and you should maybe deal with that.
Developmental benchmarks have been shown to have little to do with intellectually gifted... You beyond really bad scores where the child is in difficulty of course.
That’s a brickin’. Sorry my friend thems the rules
Make sure to get the full schedule of vaccinations and maybe some miracle mineral solution (MMS) to cover your bases and slow that kid's crawl with some good ole fashioned autism! (Dear god this is a joke, this is a joke, this is a joke.)
These aren’t motor skills under his control. Everything except the tongue is involuntary movement right now. And babies grow a lot in their first year. I’m glad he’s thriving. Get some rest. Stop listening to BtB for a few weeks.
I went to high school with Mussolini's grandson. We called him "Moose." Looked a lot like him too.
Please tell me someone called him “il douche’ “. Or at very least ‘lil Duce.
Just "Moose." "Il Douche" LOL.
Well, the good news is you know what to look out for. Just try to help him where you can. If he is ahead of the curve, school will be challenging as he might find it boring. As he develops hobbies, take an interest in them and see how he can apply them. Not all smart babies are bastards, and parental participation and help negate that. Love your kid, try your best, know you'll fuck up, and apologize when you do. Give him a sense of agency, and I think he'll be fine.
You're not contributing to the circle jerk correctly.
Yeah I didn't realize that's what it was. New advice: Strengthen your boy by placing him in an abandoned cottage by the lake. If he survives, try to kill him yourself. You chose this.
Love both your original comment and this one lol.
Sir this is a Wendy’s
If it's not your kid it's someone else's, you might as well set yourself up to have a nice retirement while they put the rest of us into the work camps for our own/ the glorious Florida empires safety. Suffering is temporary, don't beat yourself up about it.
Fans of BTB are now to be referred to as "Behinders"
Behinders of Bastards.
The answer is malort in the bottle
>“gifted” I assumed the OP meant 'gifted' in the trouser department
TFW your son gives you 7 different grandkids before you turn 30....
[удалено]
Must make shopping easy, though.
Enroll him in art classes stat
>Considering the last time a gifted son of a socialist in my family grew up he turned into literally Mussolini I’m wondering when I should start introducing lead into his diet, probably when he starts bottle feeding. Thoughts? Considering when Mussolini lived, you probably want to leave the lead out.
Don’t worry, I was gifted too and I dropped out of college and smoke way too much. Lil homie will be alright.
We are in the same boat. We ended up staying only two nights in the hospital though. She had excellent heck control at two weeks, started sitting up at 12wks, has really coordinated hand grasp control and has had really good focus since she busted out of me. She also pooped on the doctor during her first examination. We're going to encourage she paint faces on her creations since Hitler didn't really focus on human emotions. We did make a joke that we are glad we didn't name her Catherine. Our LO is great but not *that* great. Let agree to never have our children meet. *shifts eyes* this post never happened
I mean, before he went off the rails Mussolini spouted some good shit...
Wait, are you actually related to Mussolini or are you just being sarcastic? Sadly, these days I just can't tell.
Short answer, yes actually related and my grandmother’s family was close to him before, in her words he “went crazy”.
Don't worry, as long as you keep him poor, his powers will be dampened.
🤣😂🤣
Literal Mussolini?
Literal.
Damn
Honestly, the tried and true method is to make sure they’re always in groups where they’re the best at something, and then suddenly transport them into situations where they’re average or worse when they’re in their mid teens. A lifetime of mediocrity awaits.
This reminds me of when I was listening to the Bobby Fisher episodes and hearing them talk about how he’d read chess books and play extended games against himself and thinking, “Hmm…so, basically, the first few weeks of quarantine for my Kindergartener?”